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Rudo couldn't believe it, there was no one in his right mind who would possibly put themselves in that position. They'd have to be insane. He'd gone to his colleagues to see what they knew, if they had seen any proof of this at all. Tamsy had shrugged and continued to sketch on the tablet in his lap. "Yeeaaah, sure." Semiu hadn't even looked up from the machine she was wrapping. Noerde wouldn't dignify him with a response. And all the while Enjin is laughing in the background. There was no fucking way anyone was willingly subjecting themselves to dating Jabber Wonger.
For past couple of weeks Jabber had been coming into work practically floating. Much more subdued than normal and had been almost quiet. He'd been grinning the whole damn time for sure so no need to worry, Rudo thought. No one seemed to comment on it at work, perhaps incase the bubble of a chill Jabber burst. Then all of sudden the past few days he was back to full throttle craziness. Giggling to himself as he set up his station. Running back and forth across the studio to rake through drawers to find an eraser, leaving a trail of mess in his wake. Just bursting into laughter over nothing. He was back to stealing Rudo's fucking ink caps as well. The printer had started jamming again, as if it knew.
Weirder than that though, as soon as his appointments for the day were done he was gone. No more loitering after he'd finished work, purely to irritate Rudo he was sure, grabbing dinner with whoever was still there. No more dragging Rudo to see shit DIY bands he'd never heard of. Rudo hadn't even seen him trying to bum Enjins cigarettes. Or more like just take them outta Enjins bag when he's not looking. He was barely around if he wasn't working. Something weird was up.
So when Rudo had decided it was enough and just to straight out asked Jabber why he'd been rushing out the door everyday, the answer he'd gotten should never had even been an option. Jabber had that crazy look in his eyes, that scary ass smile with way too many teeth and he'd spun around in his chair. Rudo was already regretting asking. But when Jabber had finally answered it was cos he'd been picking up his boyfriend straight after work. Rudo's jaw was on the floor. Boyfriend. Jabber was too busy still spinning on his chair and giggling as he spoke about this 'alleged' boyfriend but Rudo had stopped listening. Some poor soul was dating this maniac.
So he'd asked around the studio. No help. Rudo had even asked a couple of the clients that he shared with Jabber. They knew he was seeing someone but didn't know who. Or if they were real. Honestly, once the shock wore off Rudo was almost convinced that Jabber had finally gone fully insane and was hallucinating a fake boyfriend. It was the only thing that made sense. Who would date that heinous loser?
After a week or so it didn't seem too bad that Jabber was mostly back to himself. It was like that brief moment of peace was a dream. Rudo was the last in the studio, cleaning up and packing away his station. He checked his watch, it was like 9pm on a Thursday. Riyo had said she was working at the bar tonight, might as well go visit and potentially grab a free drink.
So now Rudo was deeply confused, and maybe a little angry for Jabbers poor imaginary boyfriend. Cos if Jabber was soooo loved up how come he was hitting on the bartender at the bar Riyo worked at? Zander? Zanba? Rudo couldn't remember his name but he'd seen him around often enough with Riyo that he was familiar with him. From his stool at the other side of the bar Rudo actually had a pretty perfect view to glower at Jabber from. Not that Jabber had noticed him at all. He was too busy winding up this poor bartender, Zanba or whatever, who was leaning over the bar and looked to be arguing with Jabber. But Jabber looked to be enjoying it a little too much, wide set grin and those crazy eyes as he gazed up at the bartender.
Rudo shot daggers at him as he watched Jabber do that stupid bar trick Enjin taught him. Tying a cherry stem with his tongue and sticking his tongue out with the completed knot sitting on top. Rudo watched as the bartender stopped mid sentence, his face unreadable from Rudo's view. However Rudo saw clearly how the bartender took Jabbers chin between his fingers and tilted his head back, leaning down to whisper something into Jabbers ear. Rudo couldn't see anymore. He was fucking furious. For as much as Jabber was a pain in the ass shithead he didn't think he was a bad guy. But he'd been proven wrong. What about his stupid fucking boyfriend? Did he not give a shit? Rudo muttered an apology to a confused looking Riyo before storming out.
The next day Rudo was feeling torn up about it and still pretty pissed. He knew in theory it was none of his business but he had thought Jabber was a good guy deep deep down. Jabber was already scamming the fuck outta this guy by convincing him to date but to then fuck around behind his back? Someone was gonna have to say something. Rudo didn't want to though. He hadn't even met Jabbers boyfriend.
It was supposed to just be Rudo and Jabbers booked in for the morning, everyone else typically took a Friday off so he'd be able to get this off his chest before the weekend. But then Rudo's client had turned up early and had wanted to make several changes, which any other day would have been fine. But today it was driving him crazy. Jabber didn't seem to notice Rudo glaring at him. The bastard was even smiling as he stole Rudo's fucking ink caps right in front of him whilst Rudo was tattooing. Absolute shithead.
After Rudo's last client of the day said their goodbyes, Jabber was still tattooing. Sneaking a glance over Jabbers shoulder, he looked about 70% done. Rudo made himself looking busy, tidying up and fucking around on his ipad for an hour or so. Once Jabbers client cashed up and headed out Rudo decided it was the moment.
Jabber didn't seem the least bit phased. In fact he laughed right in Rudo's face. Aw Rudo was gonna fucking kill him, what was the point? Jabber was actually doubled over, clutching his stomach as his shoulders shook from laughing. Rudo just spun around, who fuckin cares he was just trying to look out for some poor guy that was stuck with this lunatic. But hey, no doubt they knew Jabber was insane so who cares.
Rudo tried to pack his shit up, grabbing his bag and trying to get the fuck out of here. Jabber grabbed his elbow as Rudo barged past, still cackling as he asked Rudo to please please just wait for him. They can talk at the bar downstairs. Just to give him five minutes. Rudo crossed his arms, glaring at Jabbers hand on his elbow but nodded anyway. Jabber was his friend. He should hear him out. Shit head that he was.
A couple minutes later they were at the bar Riyo worked at. Rudo grabbed a seat as Jabber went to get them a couple drinks. Least he could do for being a massive ink cap stealing bastard. Rudo sighed and glowered down at the table. Stupid fuckin Jabber and his poor stupid fuckin imaginary boyfriend. Rudo was gonna be so mad if this boyfriend wasn't real and he'd gotten mad for nothing.
Jabber returned without drinks, still with that shit eating smile as he sat down. Rudo just cocked his head, motioning to Jabbers empty hands. Then a drink was placed down on the table from behind Rudo, causing him to jump. Looking up there was Zanba. Zimba? That fucking bartender Jabber was flirting with yesterday. Rudo just blinked up at him and watched as the bartender walked round the table to pass Jabber his drink. Rudo's eyes just about popped out as Jabber pulled the man down to sit in his lap, who in response seemed to roll his eyes but didn't look too displeased.
In fact, he looked pretty happy. A small smile as he avoided Jabbers eyes. Rudo's jaw was on the floor. Gaping at the pair across the table from him. Looking back to Jabber, Rudo noticed that bastard was laughing again. Shoulders shaking and fist hitting the table. The bartender cleared his throat, getting Rudo's attention. "I believe I've got to thank ya for standing up for my honour an' all that."
Oh for fucks sake. Rudo flushed bright red. Of course. Jabbers laugh was near hysterical at this point and the stupid bartender boyfriend let out a chuckle. This was the boyfriend. Jabbers boyfriend is the bartender. That makes sense. Makes a lot of sense. Rudo muttered an apology, taking a gulp of his beer and avoiding looking at this pair of laughing idiots. Well, if he was gonna laugh at Rudo with Jabber, Rudo wasn't gonna warn him that Jabber was insane. They deserve each other. Shitheads.
Secretly Rudo was very glad that Jabber was actually as good a guy as he gave him credit for.