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The apartment is entirely engulfed in the sweet smell of different freshly-baked pastries, which is starting to give Buck a headache, so he opens a window and sits down at the counter to take a break. Just as he takes a seat, his phone starts ringing.
“Hey, Maddie. What's up?” His voice is tired, which he is acutely aware of, but sleep has been eluding him for the past two weeks, so it's not surprising.
“Are you baking again?” She sounds exasperated, and yet he can sense a sliver of excitement in her tone.
“Maybe.”
“Buck, this is getting ridiculous. It's been weeks, you need to get out there. You can't expect the universe to deliver your soulmate to you on a silver platter right to your doorstep.” There's a knock on Buck's door, the sound of which makes Maddie's lips curl into a smug grin. “Or can you?”
“What did you do?” Buck hisses through the phone as he stands up and calls out to whoever is on the other side of the door, asking for a minute.
“That's the best part. I didn't have to do anything. I just mentioned to someone that you still haven't moved on from Tommy and that maybe you could use a friend who isn't your sister, and this particular someone, bless them, is an open book and I knew they'd take the bait. Have fun, you two!” Maddie chuckles slightly as she hangs up the phone and leans back in her armchair, nursing a cup of hot chocolate next to Chimney, who just smiles and shakes his head, knowing it's best not to interfere with whatever scheme Maddie cooks up.
Buck curses quietly, letting out a long sigh as he places his phone on the counter and goes to open the door. On the other side stands Josh, with a cookbook in his hands and a caring expression on his face. He doesn't know who he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't Josh. For a moment he's taken aback, but when Josh speaks, he snaps out of it.
“I'm sorry to drop by unannounced, but I heard you took up baking recently, so I thought I'd come by and help out if I could.”
“Uh…come in, it's nice to see you.” Buck stands aside, letting Josh into his apartment with a faint smile as he glances after the man heading into the kitchen.
“Wow, Maddie was not kidding. Are you planning on opening a bakery?”
“No, not exactly. Every time I have the urge to call Tommy, I bake.” He scratches the back of his neck with an awkward smile, his eyes moving over the numerous pastries laying on the counter.
“Well, at least you haven't called him yet. I'd take that as a win. There is nothing more humbling than the post-conversation clarity that comes after calling an ex. Believe me, I should know, I'm an expert.”
“Yeah, I guess. Do you want a beer?”
“Sure, I'll take one. Thanks.” Josh nods at Buck as he takes the bottle from him, taking a seat at the kitchen island. “So, why are you so hung up on Tommy?”
“What?” Buck is in the middle of opening his beer when the question reaches his mind and he glances up from his task at Josh, blinking in confusion.
“Why are you so hung up on him? It's an easy question if you know the answer.”
“Well, I…I mean, I cared for him. I still do, I guess.”
“Care? Right, well, you're right, you two are practically Romeo and Juliet.” Josh raises his eyebrows, looking at Buck while he waits for an honest response from him.
“You don't know that. You can't possibly know what our relationship was like.” This is more of a diversion technique than a reasonable argument in Buck's mind, but at the moment, he doesn't know what else to say.
“Buck, I remember how you talked about him. Here's what I know about Tommy just based on everything you've told me: he's hot, cool, spontaneous, brave, passionate, a good kisser, nice, and weirdly into martial arts and fighting. Every time you brought him up, I kept expecting those adjectives to turn into: caring, kind, funny, compassionate, good company, thoughtful, or maybe even romantic, but that moment never came. Throughout a months-long relationship, you never once told me anything about what he's like under the surface. It was like you were talking about a coworker all along, except maybe the good kisser and passionate part, but my point stands nonetheless.” Listening to Josh talk, Buck can't help but agree with him. He leans his hands against the marble countertop as if it could help with the weight of his thoughts and emotions.
“You're right, you are, but I'm still so hung up on him, on the relationship. Maybe I just liked having a boyfriend. Something about it made me feel…free. I mean, I love women and there's no telling who I’ll end up with, and I had girlfriends who I loved more than Tommy, but I still feel like I loved being in the relationship more.”
“Okay, you do know that the fact that you'd rather date men at the moment doesn't take away from you being bisexual, right? You can have a preference without it making your sexuality invalid. And maybe your preferences will change with time, it's only natural. Plus this is all new to you, maybe you’re just eager to explore this side of life as well.”
Buck lifts his gaze to Josh as if all the answers are in his eyes, and maybe they are. Maybe he does have all the answers. The two of them fall into a comfortable silence while Buck keeps his focus on the gentle brown eyes in front of him. He moves around the kitchen island and sits down next to Josh, taking sips of his beer in the process. The proximity is welcomed by Josh, who gives him a fond smile as their knees brush against the other’s.
“Thank you for coming here and for keeping me company. As a thank you, you'll go home with a basket of baked goods. That part is non-negotiable.” Buck looks at Josh, his voice turning soft and a little more quiet than before. He has his head tilted down slightly so he’s gazing up at Josh, giving him the trademark Buck-puppy stare, which makes his heart beat faster and both melt at the same time.
“Well, you know me, I can’t resist good pastries,” Josh whispers, his gaze moving over to Buck’s lips for just a moment before he realises he probably shouldn’t do that and forces his eyes to meet Buck’s.
To get himself out of the trance he fell into, Josh takes a long sip of his beer, finishing it and he places it down on the table.
“Would you like another one?”
“No, thank you, though. As much as I sort of tolerate beer, two would be too much. Plus, if we actually want to bake something, it might not be a good idea to get drunk.”
“Do you have anything in mind?” Buck glances at the book on the table, grabbing it so he can flip through it.
“How about a lava cake? I’ve been wanting to try that forever. It’s at the blue marker.” They find the recipe and get to work, moving around the kitchen in perfect sync as if this was a practiced routine between the two of them even though this is their first time baking together.
“Can you pass the-” Buck doesn’t even have to finish the sentence, he already finds the cocoa powder in his hand, given to him by a smiling Josh. “-cocoa powder?” Buck takes a moment, looking at Josh, not realising he’s holding his breath as he admires the man. “Thank you.”
“Any time.” Josh nods, turning back to his task, while Buck just stands still for a few seconds before continuing baking.
The pair finish the lava cake and sit back on Buck’s couch. Buck is holding the plate with the pastry on it and two forks in his other hand. He crosses his legs and places the ceramic on his lap, handing one of the utensils to Josh.
“Bon appétit.” Both of them take a forkful of the cake, clinking the metals together before they taste their masterpiece.
“Oh my god. Not to sound too proud, but this may be the best thing I’ve ever eaten. We did good, Buckley.” Josh’s smile is radiant, and it’s pulling Buck in. He finds himself drawn closer to the man, leaning back against the cushions diagonally so that his shoulder is pressed against Josh’s.
“I agree, Russo. We really should bake together more often, we’re a dream team. The dream team. The dream duo.” Josh doesn’t know if he’s imagining it or if it’s really happening, but he can almost feel Buck's hand brush against his, inching closer to him.
“You seem tired.” Josh clears his throat, pushing another bite of cake into his mouth in hopes that it will hide how nervous he is from the closeness as he puts his plate down on the coffee table, right next to Buck’s.
“I am. I feel like I haven’t slept in ages.”
“Do you want me to get out of here?”
Suddenly, there’s a hand on Josh’s wrist, stopping him from going anywhere. He glances over at Buck, who’s staring right into his eyes.
“Can you stay? I don’t feel like being alone tonight. I…I like having you here.”
Josh nods, gulping slightly with a faint smile, settling into the couch as he puts the plate on the table. “Buck, are you sure you wouldn’t rather be here with someone else?” Josh’s voice is quiet and he almost instantly regrets what he asked, immediately tipping his head back.
“No, I…this is not that. I’m just glad to have you here. This is not me trying to fill a void or anything like that.” Buck lets go of his wrist and the loss of his touch is burning Josh's skin, wishing he would put his hand back.
“Okay.” Josh gives in to Buck because there was never any actual doubt he wouldn't. The baby blue eyes that remind him of the ocean — stretching on for miles, calm and full of chaos at the same time — are his weaknesses and he's aware he'll never be able to say no to Buck when he looks at him like that.
“Your couch is extremely comfortable, I'd be honoured to sleep on it.” The joke doesn't quite reach Buck, and even Josh's faint smile reflects the weak attempt at humour.
“Or you could sleep in the bed. Upstairs, with me.” Buck's voice is barely audible and if not for the complete and utter silence of their surroundings, Josh isn't sure he would've heard it. His heart is hammering against his chest and his mouth goes dry, unsure of what to respond, especially when Buck is looking at him with a gaze he can't decipher. Usually he has no problem reading people, it's part of his job description after all, and yet, he can't seem to figure out why Buck said that, why Buck would ever ask him to spend the night, let alone invite him into his bed.
His mind is foggy and filled with questions, to which he can't find the answer at the moment, no matter how long he keeps staring into the gorgeous blue eyes in front of him, and Buck takes the lack of words as a firm no from Josh.
“I'm sorry, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, you don't have to stay if you don't-” Buck's rambling is cut off by Josh, who acts without giving it a single rational thought, and leans in to press his lips against Buck's. In the approximately five seconds the kiss lasts, three things happen simultaneously. One, Buck's brain shuts down completely. Two, Josh panics that maybe this wasn't such a good idea. And three, Buck's hand acts on its own accord and moves to cup Josh's cheek while he reciprocates the kiss.
Once they break apart, Josh starts apologising, but this time Buck is the one to shut him up by pulling him into another kiss, his fingertips slipping into Josh's hair while his thumbs rest on his cheeks. Josh lets himself relax, and the contact is so much better than the brief peck before. It's gentle, comfortable, and full of care the two men have for one another.
“Does that mean you’ll sleep upstairs?” Buck’s hushed voice and soft breath ghosting over Josh’s skin make the hairs stand on the back of his neck and he can’t find it in himself to refuse, so he just nods. Their noses brush against one another’s and neither of them turn away or lean back, enjoying the close proximity. “Good.”
Just as Josh’s lips press against Buck’s once more, Buck’s phone starts ringing, to which he lets out a groan, breaking away from Josh.
“Gimme a moment.” Reaching toward his coffee table, he lifts his phone, which is lit up with Eddie’s name. He accepts the call and stands up from his couch, walking over to his kitchen for some privacy.
“Hey, Eds, what’s going on?”
“Chris was wondering if you could help him with his bake sale next week on Tuesday. I offered to do it with him, but he said he’d have more luck with a monkey in an apron.” Buck snorts, an amused smile pulling at his lips as he listens to his best friend talk.
“I mean, he’s not exactly wrong, but damn that kid is savage.”
“Fuck off, Buckley. Are you gonna help him or not?” Eddie rolls his eyes, already half regretting that he called Buck at all.
“Of course I am. I’ll pick him up from school on Tuesday and he can sleep over. I promise I’ll behave and make him go to bed on time after we finish baking.”
“You’re the best, bud. I owe you, big time.”
“Oh, please. I love hanging out with Chris, he’s the best.”
“Ouch.” Eddie takes a moment before speaking up again, smiling slightly, which is audible through the phone, especially to Buck, who knows him more than anyone. “Are you free today? Chris has been begging for you to come over for another game night and to be honest, I miss it, too.”
“Uhh, unfortunately, I have plans tonight. How about tomorrow?”
“Plans? Do tell, what kind? You got a date or something?” Eddie’s eyebrows shot up, suddenly all the more interested in the discussion.
“Or something, yeah. I gotta go, I’ll see you tomorrow, Eds.” Buck’s lips curl upwards as he glances in Josh’s direction, who’s sitting on the couch, stealing a bite off of Buck’s plate while he thinks he’s not watching.
“Can’t wait to hear about this thing you have going on. Have fun!”
Walking back to the sofa, Buck holds out his hand for Josh to take, who does so and stands up, his fingers staying intertwined with Buck’s.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, it was Eddie. Apparently, Chris doesn’t trust his skills in the kitchen, so he asked me to help him out with the school bake sale.” The two of them slowly walk towards the stairs, not in any rush to get to their destination. “Maybe you could come by and join us on Tuesday. Another set of hands would definitely come in handy.”
“Are you sure? I know how important quality time is for you with Chris.” Buck’s heart flutters in his chest at Josh’s words, touched that Josh knows such a personal detail about him. He remembers telling him about how close he was to the Diaz family, how much he adored spending time with the two of them and that it had become the most stable element in his life.
“I’m sure. I bet you and Chris would get along.” They go into Buck’s bedroom, Buck pulling Josh along with him as he sits down on the bed, Josh standing between his legs.
“I would love to bake with the two of you. I can’t think of a better way to spend my Tuesday afternoon.” Josh smiles, leaning down to press a gentle kiss on Buck’s lips, his hands cupping Buck’s cheeks as his thumbs caress his skin.
“Maybe you could sleep over again.” While he speaks, he places his hands on Josh’s waist, holding him in place. Not that Josh is in any hurry to move any time soon, but it feels nice to touch him.
“I feel like I’m in very high demand in your apartment.”
“You are. I like having you here. And I wouldn’t mind seeing you here more often.” Buck presses his lips against Josh’s, smiling into the kiss. “Maybe we should take a shower and get some rest. I’ll drive you to work tomorrow.”
“You don’t have to, my car’s parked right out front.”
“Hmm…guess that means you will have to let me pick you up from work, too. What a shame.” Buck grins, standing up from his bed, but his hands never leave Josh’s sides. “And you didn’t answer my question.”
“I would love to shower. Separately. Showering together sounds incredibly tempting, but I think we should take things slow. I need to be dined and wined before I jump into bed with someone, even if that someone is as ridiculously hot as you.” Buck pouts a bit, but understands where Josh is coming from, so he doesn’t push it further.
“I’ll get you a towel and a toothbrush.” Before moving away from him, he presses a gentle peck on the edge of Josh’s mouth.