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Wind beat against the door, flurries of snow flying so fast that it was no more than a smudge of white outside, reflecting Leblanc's warm golden lights. The bitter cold was leaching inside, icy talons clawing at the hardwood floorboards. Ren wedged the welcome mat more firmly into the gap between them and the door. He was just closing up, flipping the sign to 'Closed' for the night. It wasn't as if he was going to get any more customers in this weather.
Tokyo hadn't seen snow in years, let alone a full-on blizzard. Ren himself hadn't seen one of this magnitude since he was a kid out in the countryside; fluffy white flakes floating across his hometown, sparkling beneath thick clouds like starlight, sure to leave a glimmering blanket of fresh powder over the world come morning.
This wasn't quite like that. The snow trying its damnedest to pound its way into Leblanc was icy and hard, almost hail-like - it scraped and screeched, packing itself into the concrete so tightly that it was more likely to leave a solid layer of ice than a quilt of snow. Ren wracked his memory, but came up with nothing - he had never seen a storm this bad before.
He stepped away from the door, brought his hands up to his mouth and puffed a breath of hot air into them, rubbing them together. Warm thoughts, Ren, warm thoughts... He was almost finished with work, then he could go home, kiss his boyfriend senseless, make them something hot for dinner, then drag him to their bedroom to warm up properly. He felt himself grin at the thought, the idea still surreal after nearly four years.
Not five seconds later, something landed against the door with a solid thud. The handle rattled as a figure attempted to open the very locked door, only to bang on it a few times when it refused to open. After a half a second of stunned silence, Ren unlocked the door and yanked it open, allowing a snow-caked Goro to stumble inside.
"Huh. Speak of the Devil," Ren said, slamming the door shut and immediately moving to take his boyfriend's jacket. Goro shoved the article into his arms, sopping wet and frozen in certain places.
"I'm honoured to know I still occupy your thoughts," Goro slurred, words jumbled together in his rush to get them out. "Fuck, it's cold out there," he said clear as day.
"Hush. You can sass me once you're warm," Ren said over his shoulder, hanging the tan trenchcoat on the coathanger as Goro slipped off his gloves and tossed them somewhat haphazardly onto the counter. He was back at the brunet's side in an instant, unwinding the scarf from around his neck before he had the chance to do it himself. Goro huffed, but otherwise didn't resist.
His face was flushed red, practically glowing from the cold. Fluffy snowflakes clung thickly to his hair, similar to how they might an evergreen tree. Freckles and acne scars were on full display, scattered across his nose and cheeks like stars in a galaxy, betraying a noticeable lack of makeup. His lips were chapped, and there were dark circles under his eyes. Ren frowned, leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. It was freezing.
Ren shoved Goro into his spot at the bar, already slipping behind it. Two fresh mugs of steaming hot coffee hit the counter in record time, Goro immediately reaching for one as Ren hung up his apron before sitting down next to him.
"So. What are you doing here?" Ren asked, sliding the other cup over.
Goro smiled, all pleasant and princely, "What? Is a man not allowed to visit his boyfriend at work? Or his favourite café, for that matter?"
Ren fixed him with a hard stare. Goro held his gaze for a whole twenty-five seconds - which had to be a new record - before his eyes flitted back down to the counter. They sat in silence for a few minutes, with only the soft buzz of electricity and low, whistling moans of the wind to accompany them. Ren let his face soften as Goro collected his thoughts, face furrowed in anxious concentration - he would wait as long as he needed.
Goro took in a deep breath through his nose, held it for a second, then blew it out. He swallowed, audibly, and Ren straightened up as he always did when he was trying to assure someone he was listening. He received a death glare, however brief, in response and he slumped back down to his usual slouch.
"I was...," Goro started, eyes flicking back and forth between Ren's face and his coffee, "Worried. About you, I suppose..."
"You... were worried?"
"Don't make me repeat myself," he muttered.
"Hey, no, it's okay!" Ren brought his hands up in a placating gesture, "I'm just surprised, is all. It's not really like you to be so concerned about me."
Goro scowled at him, "'Not like' me? What are you talking about, you're my boyfriend, of course I'm concerned!" he slammed a fist on the table, breath suddenly turned ragged. "I care about you! I'm going to be worried when half the trains stop running, you don't answer your phone, and you're still not home at nearly eight at night!"
"Whoa, easy!" Ren soothed the near-hyperventilating brunet, "I'm here, it's alright, breathe for me."
He sucked in a breath and held it, waiting for Goro to copy him. He followed easily, though a bit more harshly, held it for a few seconds, then breathed out in tandem with Ren. They continued this for a few minutes, until Goro had sufficiently calmed down.
"Okay. You alright now?"
He took one last breath, closing his eyes and keeping them shut, "Yes. I'm fine. This was all just... an irrational fear response to some stupid anxieties I should be over at this-"
"I'm going to stop you right there."
Goro's eyes shot open, dark pools of mulled wine staring at Ren blankly.
"Goro. Honey," Ren placed his hand next to Goro's on the bar, giving it a gentle nudge. When he didn't flinch or pull away, he covered it with his own, a gentle display of reassurance. "You have come so far over the last few years, and I am so, incredibly proud of you for that. I'm sorry I made you worry, but you don't have to beat yourself up over it."
"I am not-"
"Shut up, for once in your life," Ren cut him off with a fond smile. He gave his hand a squeeze - it was still ice cold. "You are the most incredible person I know, and I know you know it too, you cocky bastard. If you're not proud of yourself, I'm not going to be able to pick up the slack."
Ren watched as Goro searched his face. The abject bewilderment spread across his face, expression so painfully tender and vulnerable, drew a soft laugh up from Ren's chest. He couldn't help it - how else was he supposed to react? Goro continued to stare at him for a moment, before falling forward, forehead pressed to Ren's chest, shoulders quaking with silent laughter.
"I hate you," he said, voice trembling with amusement and muffled by the wool of Ren's sweater. Neither of them were sure who started first, but they both quickly devolved into a laughing fit. Eventually, Goro dragged himself back up into his seat. He ran a hand through his bangs, crooked smile pinching at his still red cheeks as he breathed; "Thank you," and Ren wanted nothing more in that moment than to kiss him.
So he did.
It was a chaste thing, all soft pressure and gentle movements, but there was still the push-and-pull there was to all their kisses. Goro's lips were still chapped from the cold, but he was absoluting radiating with the sort of biting warmth that comes from being out in sub-zero temperatures. Ren's free hand came up to cup Goro's cheek, blindly tracing the constellations scattered there like second nature. After what was probably a minute, though it easily could have been shorter or longer, Ren attempted to pull away, only for Goro to nip at his bottom lip and pull him back in; he huffed out a laugh, but otherwise complied, letting the moment draw out for just a few seconds longer.
When they finally separated, Ren took a moment just to stare - seeing Goro in the direct aftermath of anything even remotely romantic was always a delight, and easily one of his favourite things about being with him. His boyfriend was smiling ear-to-ear, brash and crooked and electric, near imperceptively panting and bright red from something that was distinctly not the cold. He was open and unrestrained, liberated in a way neither of them once thought possible, and God, did that thought make Ren want to shout from the rooftops.
Instead, he started laughing again, with Goro quickly joining him, giggling over getting so worked up by such a chaste kiss like the schoolboys they never had the chance to be. They had all the time in the world now, and Ren had vowed to spend the rest of his life making up for lost time.
Ren gave Goro a quick peck on the nose as he stood up, "Give me a minute to close up," he said with a final squeeze of his hand. The brunet nodded as Ren pulled away, turning back to the bar and his now lukewarm coffee.
Around ten minutes later, Ren had tugged on his coat and was bowing low in front of Goro, hand held out in overly-romantic fashion; he may call it cliché, but the image of a handsome gentleman treating him like the prince Ren knew he was always reduced Goro to a flustered, stammering mess nonetheless. The fact that he remained silent as Ren pulled him from his seat didn't fool the raven for a moment.
Neither did the scowl Goro plastered over his face as he snatched his still-damp jacket out of Ren's hands, "I can do it myself," he hissed, not meeting his eyes. Ren smiled devilishly.
"I know," he purred, taking the coat back with little resistance. He slipped behind Goro and draped it over his shoulders in one smooth motion, a perfect display of Joker-esque suavity, "but what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you do that~?"
Goro shoved him away, muttering something along the lines of ridiculous, sentimental flirt, but Ren didn't miss the way his breath hitched. Oh, was this going to be fun.
"Shall we?" he asked.
Goro rolled his eyes, "Finally."
"I'll take that as a yes."
He was silent for a moment, then snorted, a faint blush returning to his cheeks, "Perhaps once we get home I can find some way of, shutting you up?" he said, twirling around to snake his arms up and around Ren's neck. Ren smothered a chuckle at the sudden change in attitude as he wrapped his arms around Goro's waist, drawing him flush against himself.
"I think I could be convinced of that..."
Of course, it was this exact moment that the lights decided to go out.
If they both flinched and clinged to each other just the slightest bit tighter for half a second, then that would remain strictly between the two of them, and neither of them would mention it ever again.
Goro went slack in Ren's arms, dropping his head into the crook of his neck, "Fuck..."
Ren hummed in agreement. He pulled away just enough to retrieve his phone from his pocket, then maneuvered the brunet to the left just enough so that he could use it without moving his other arm. They both hissed at the harsh blue light as Ren turned his phone on, and Goro buried his face further into Ren's curls.
9:24pm. Four new notifications from Futaba, sent 'Just Now'.
"Power's out. Looks like it's neighbourhood-wide," Ren said, skimming the message feed, "Probably won't be fixed 'til tomorrow."
Goro scoffed, "And I suppose it's your job to figure out the generator in the meantime?"
"Leblanc doesn't have a generator."
"Wonderful. Then we're free to go home," he said, prying himself off Ren just enough to tug on his arm.
"Yeah, about that...," Ren trailed off, tucking his phone back in his pocket. "The trains are down. Until the storm's stopped. At least."
He wasn't sure whether to curse or praise the darkness obscuring his vision as Goro's grip tightened on his arm;
"So you're telling me we're stuck here?" he gritted out.
"Yup..."
There was silence. Then a long, drawn-out groan that sounded as though it had been dredged up from the bottom of an ocean in the deepest pit of Hell that vaguely resembled the word "Fuck."
"Yeah. Right there with you, honey..." Ren said with a sigh. He pried his arm loose, wrapped it around Goro's shoulders and squeezed. "C'mon. Let's head upstairs."
Leblanc's attic was always drafty, and time had not necessarily been kind to it. Clambering up to the loft very nearly dissuaded Ren from his decision to stay up there, but he had already dragged Goro upstairs, so he wasn't backing down now.
"Why are we up here? It's fucking freezing."
There it is...!
"Boss has an old space heater stashed around here somewhere. I used it most winters when I lived here," he said, kneeling down next to the immortal pile of storage clutter. "It's absolutely ancient, so it's too heavy for me to lift on my own. We might be able to maneuver it downstairs together, but this is much easier."
Goro grumbled, but otherwise didn't complain any further. After a few minutes of rummaging, Ren pried the space heater out from under a pile of crates with a triumphant "Ah-hah!" that was mostly covered by the loud crash of junk clattering to the attic floor. He glanced over his shoulder to check on Goro, only to see him idling by the window.
"Goro?"
He didn't respond. Ren clambered to his feet and padded over to join him. Snow flew down the street, millions of streaks of white crowding the air, the only thing clearly visible in the darkness. If Ren squinted hard enough, he could just make out the road below - snowdrifts piled high along the alleyway, easily a metre deep, covering anything that had been left out before the storm hit. He'd never seen anything like it. It was unsettling. It was beautiful.
A soft weight landed on Ren's shoulder, and it took him a second to process that Goro had rested his head there. Ren stole a glance at his face - eyes blown wide and bathed in the scant moonlight reflected from the snowflakes racing past the window. There was a sense of intimidated wonder emanating from him that Ren understood completely. Ren found his hand and loosely intertwined them, rubbing a few circles on the back of his hand with his thumb.
"Hey," he whispered.
"Hm?"
"You alright?"
Goro nodded minutely, careful not to bash their heads together.
"Okay," Ren gave his hand a light squeeze, "C'mon, it's too cold to be standing around."
Goro let himself be led back over to the stairwell, where Ren had managed to drag the space heater. Ren could feel his eyes on his back as he fussed with it, turning it off and on multiple times until it finally buzzed to life. There was a pathetically small amount of fuel left, but it should last them until morning, at least.
A minute's more scouring produced a few blankets, which were also hauled back to what was shaping up to be some sort of mock-campfire. Ren spread the thickest one over the very cold floorboards, before sitting criss-cross on top of it, pulling Goro down with him. As a finishing touch, he reached for the fluffiest blanket he'd found and draped it around both of them.
As soon as Ren had finished, Goro tucked himself into Ren's side, head nestled back in the crook of his neck. Ren huffed out a laugh in sheer surprise.
"Okay, seriously, did you forget to take your meds today?" he said, not actually serious in the slightest. Goro snuggled deeper into the collar of Ren's jacket - neither of them had bothered to take them off, a fact Ren was now debating whether or not he should regret.
"Shut up," he muttered, "it's cold."
Ren nodded, smiling silently.
The two sat in relative silence for a while - Ren never was much for conversation. It was bitterly cold. Leblanc didn't have much in the way of heating, and try as it might, the little space heater wasn't really cut out for dealing with the below-freezing weather battering down the door. Ren hooked an arm around Goro's middle, pressing them closer together, and drew the blankets a bit tighter. The wind seemed to howl louder in response. Icy needles poked through Ren's jacket, painful in their frigidity. What little warmth enveloped them was waning.
Goro shivered harshly, the suddenness of which made Ren flinch. They had both been trembling from the cold for quite a while now, but Goro had always run warmer than Ren did - not that that was a very high bar, both their circulations were utter shit. Ren shifted his hand a few inches lower to rest on Goro's hip, only for his fingers to brush against suspiciously heavy and course-feeling fabric.
Right, Goro's jacket was still damp. Ren immediately started scouring his brain for a solution. Ren had brought everything he owned with him when he moved out, so there wasn't exactly anything else left in the attic, and while Ren could offer his own coat, Goro - stupid, stubborn, impossible, overly-proud Goro - would never accept it. The realization washed over him in a cold wave, - then an idea hit him like a snowball to the back of his head.
"Hey," Ren said, breaking the silence, "Wanna trade jackets?"
Goro scoffed at the suggestion, muffled by the layers of fabric he'd buried himself under, "And why would we do that?"
"Because you're shaking."
"So are you," Ren couldn't argue that. "I'm fine. Besides, do you want to let all that cold air in?"
"Your coat's warmer than mine anyways," he said, completely ignoring Goro's argument. "And I bet you we could swap without lifting the blanket."
Goro lifted his head, embers smouldering in his eyes, "Is that a challenge?" he asked, deadpan.
Ren smirked at him, "If you want it to be. Loser has to grab the last blanket?"
"Oh, it is on."
Goro was right. All their shuffling let far more cold air in than the trade was probably worth, but they were too busy to notice or care.
"Hah!" Goro barked in triumph, yanking Ren's jacket closed with a sense of finality. The oversized garment hung awkwardly off his shoulders, cheeks red with laughter and hair mussed from their rough-housing. God, he was beautiful.
"Yeah, yeah, you win," Ren replied. Struggling into a damp jacket a size too small for him was far from the most comfortable thing in the world, but he couldn't bring himself to care.
"I do. Now, about my prize?" he cooed, crawling back into Ren's personal space like an overly-affectionate cat.
Ren threw the last blanket over his head.
Goro made an affronted noise as he scrabbled at the blankets. Ren stifled a laugh as he watched him writhe about and eventually surface from the sea of material with an honest to God pout on his face.
"Better, your Majesty?"
"Oh, fuck off," Goro huffed, dropping back into Ren's side, almost uncharicteristically casual.
At this point, it was legitimately starting to worry him.
Ren gave Goro a nudge, jostling him slightly, "Hey. For real, this time. Is something bothering you?"
Goro stiffened. Yeah, something's definitely wrong...
"Why would you think that?" he asked, not looking at Ren. Ren bit the inside of his cheek, contemplating how to play this.
Goro had been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum at 19, nearly seven years ago now - or, more accurately, discovered he had been diagnosed at 15, only for Shido and his Conspiracy to keep the information locked up like a military-grade secret for the back-half of his teenage years. In hindsight, it really did seem like the most obvious thing in the world.
Somedays, decoding Goro's brain was the simplest thing imaginable - they've known each other for years, and Ren had personal experience with this sort of thing, after all.
But others? Nights when Goro would sit silently next to him in the dark, face blank and opaque, avoiding Ren's eyes, awaiting something he couldn't voice nor name?
Somedays, Ren had no damn clue.
"I dunno, you're not usually this clingy, though, that's for sure," he said.
"I am perfectly capable of being physically affectionate."
Ren huffed out a ghost of a laugh, "I know. But still. I just can't imagine you coming to pick me up from work early unless something was, well, wrong," he explained with a half-shrug. It really was that simple, wasn't it? He really needed to work on not overthinking things so much...
Goro was quiet for a minute, frozen solid, and not just from the cold.
"I dropped a class today," he said at last.
Ren blinked, "Is that it?"
"No...," Goro shrunk in on himself, "I dropped one of the classes I needed to maintain my scholarship."
"Oh..."
There was a moment of quiet.
"Do you want to talk about it...?"
Goro let out a strangled sigh, "Why do you have to know me so well?"
"Comes with the territory," Ren said, smugly evasive, smiling at the irony.
He nodded, "Right." Goro shoved himself upright into a tight ball, eyes fixed on a random floorboard in the corner of the attic. He sighed again, wet his lips, swallowed. Ren found his hand under the blanket and let it linger there.
He would wait as long as he needed.
"I had a panic attack during a lecture today."
Ren didn't say anything. Instead, he pulled Goro against his chest, pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. Goro shuddered in his hold, and Ren held him even tighter.
He listened patiently through Goro's mumbled ramblings of every single minuscule thing that had gone sideways for him today, all culminating in a narrowly avoided meltdown in the men's room.
"I'm just... can't do this anymore," he groaned, exhaustion dragging at his voice. Ren hummed gently in acknowledgement. "When I got home, and you weren't there... I couldn't handle it. I..."
He didn't need to finish. Ren knew what he meant.
"I... needed you," he said anyway.
Ren turned Goro's face towards his and kissed him gently, bumping their foreheads together after he pulled away. "Hey," he whispered, Goro's eyes fluttering open, "Don't worry about it. We'll figure this out. Like always."
Goro stared at him; Ren smiled.
"Did you mean what you said earlier?" he asked, swallowing, "About..."
"About?"
Goro hesitated.
"About being proud of me?" he said at last.
Ren tightened his hold around him, "Why would I lie about something like that?" Goro shrugged sluggishly in his arms. Ren shook his head, "I love you more than anything in the world, and I could not be more proud of you. I will tell you as many times as I need to, until my dying breath."
Goro sighed, "It's just a little hard to believe. After everything we've been through. Some part of me can't shake the thought that one of these days you're finally going to realize what a waste of time this has all been. That I'm just...," he bit the inside of his lip, shaking his head minutely, "not worth it."
Ren hooked a finger under his boyfriend's chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. "You are worth walking through fire. I'd face a thousand Gods, climb through Hell and back, if it meant I get to keep seeing your face every day. I'd kill just to see you smiling. Happy. Safe. I'd give up everything for you."
"I'd kill you if you did something like that."
"I know. Somehow that just makes me want to do it more. You are quite literally worth the world to me, Akechi Goro. I love you, and there is no universe where I could ever bring myself to leave you behind. You're stuck with me. Always have been, always will be."
Goro blinked once, twice, eyes glossy and face trembling. The next thing Ren knew he was knocked flat on his back, Goro's lips smashed against his mouth.
There were tongues and teeth, kiss after kiss biting, sucking, bruising. After a while Ren noticed the taste of salt bleeding into their mouths - where from, he couldn't care less.
They eventually parted with an audible pop, Goro hovering centemetres above him, tears stains streaking his face, flushed pink, eyes glowing, bright and beautiful and alive. Ren nearly pulled him right back down into another kiss. Instead he brushed Goro's bangs out of his face, exposing his forehead, and smiled. Goro smiled right back.
"I think I want to marry you," he breathed.
Goro blinked, sitting back on Ren's lap as he seemingly realized what just came out of his mouth. Ren followed him, smile curling into a mischievous smirk.
"What was that?"
"Shut up, Ren...," he growled, choosing to stare at the space heater rather than meet Ren's gaze.
"Hm. No, I think I'd rather hear more about this idea of yours...," Ren teased with a poorly smothered giggle. He wrapped his arms back around the brunet's middle, the latter shoving at his chest futilely.
"Fuck off, you're making it sound like I have a whole wedding planned out."
"Well, now. I certainly didn't say anything about that," Ren said, "But I wouldn't be opposed to hearing more about this marriage...?"
Goro let out a half-hearted groan, knowing he'd been had. He collapsed against Ren's shoulder, forcing them both back to the floor. Ren tugged the blankets over them, shielding them from the cold. "What do you want to hear, then?"
"Anything you want. Tell me about your dream ceremony...," Ren murmured. Goro nodded, cheek rubbing against his sweater, then tucked his face into the crook of Ren's neck.
"Anything I desire, huh?"
"Mh-hm."
"Well, then... It would have to be in April. Cherry blossom season. I've always wanted to get married under cherry blossoms, to be honest. In the rain, preferably."
"The rain?" Ren confirmed with a chuckle.
"Yes, in the rain. The bright, fresh, misty type. There's something oddly romantic about a torrential downpour, wouldn't you agree?"
"Well, yeah. Not sure if it's worth getting soaked for, though."
"My fantasy wedding, my rules."
"Our fantasy wedding."
"That's awfully presumptuous of you..."
"Keep going, then."
Goro hummed and Ren jostled him gently, eliciting a soft chuckle. "I'd like one of those extravagant foreign weddings, like in the movies. Sumire would be my best woman, obviously, and I'm sure you could invite the rest of your friends to fill out the rest of the wedding party. Perhaps Sae-san could walk me down the aisle?"
Ren snorted, "I think we could arrange that."
"Don't interrupt."
"Fine, fine."
"I'd be wearing a fitted tuxedo, maybe in white? I could never decide on just one colour. Definitely with coattails. And a lotus boutonnière."
"Aww...," Ren cooed, receiving a light slap in response, "What about me, what would I wear? A kimono, a miniskirt and blazer, one of those lacy white wedding dresses?"
"Would it be cliché to say I want to marry you as Joker? Without the mask, of course."
"Now that I can get behind."
Back and forth, the two of them fantasized about their hypothetical dream wedding, from the broad strokes to the fine details - though mostly, Ren just let Goro blather on as he was prone to do, occasionally punctuated with a nod or hum in response. The cold still scraped at the walls, desperate to crawl its way through the cracks and snuff out their warmth, but it seemed so much more distant than before. Huddled together, wrapped in the cozy nostalgia of Leblanc's attic and a soft cloud of pleasant daydreams slipping into the night.
The wind continued to beat against the windows, snow kept flying faster than the eye could see. The freezing, needle-like talons of an icy death could never be banished permanently, but it couldn't reach them tonight. Both of them had been left out in the cold too many times in their short lives - come Hell or high water, springtime, summer, winter or fall, he was going to stay by Goro's side. Fate had forced them apart one too many times - Ren refused to leave him ever again.
With his vow renewed, Ren felt his eyes flutter closed, slowly drifting away on the sound of Goro's murmured ramblings: Reveries of approaching Ren at the end of the aisle, raven hair misted with raindrops, standing in an ethereal pink cloud of petals against a bright, overcast sky.