Work Text:
[September 26th, 2022]
Ilya: Harris
Harris
Harris Drover!!!!!
[Harris has questioned this message]
how could you betray me like this?
I thought we were friends
I thought you cared about the team
Harris: Ilya I'm gonna need some details if you want an actual response
Ilya:
!!!!!! how
could you
not
tell me
Harris: ...because this is the first time I've ever seen this video?
Ilya: liar
Harris: Why would I lie about this?
Ilya: you are social media manager for a hockey team! how could you not have seen??
Harris: This will shock you, but most of my time on social media is spent MAKING the posts
Ilya:
Harris: Also it's not like I'm in a gc with all the other social media managers in Canada
Ilya: and look what this has cost us Harris!
Harris: I'm sorry that you missed out on seeing this video until now even though it's not my fault at all...
Ilya: this is not what I mean
we could have had Zamboni dog this whole time
Harris: We literally have a dog as a team mascot. Chiron? You might've heard of him?
[Ilya has added 🙄to this message]
Ilya: he does not ride the Zamboni! he must do this now
Harris: I think he might be scared of it tbh
Ilya: we will see
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[September 26th, 2022]
Harris: heads up, Ilya found a video about a Zamboni dog
Wiebe: ...I don't need to ask where this is going, do I
Harris: 🫠🫠🫠
Wiebe: I mean, it's ultimately up to Paul and his folks, so
Harris: Yeah, I'm gonna check with them
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[September 26th, 2022]
CTC Staff
Harris: Hi all, so one of the players forwarded me this video
Zamboni team, is anyone willing to have Chiron on a ridealong?
Gen: "one of the players" lol
Stef: Roz woulda been shorter to type
Harris: Okay yeah fine, so you know he'll never shut up about it lol
Sky: I'm on tomorrow morning and would love to have him
Harris: Thanks Sky; I'll bring him with
Stef: idk if it's gonna work man
no offense to Chiron
Dani: yeah he looks at the Zamboni like my dog looks at the swiffer
Harris: lol I know
I already warned Ilya
Gen: I'm sure that was effective
[Harris has emphasized this message]
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[September 26th, 2022]
Harris: Arena at 8am tomorrow if you wanna be there for Chiron's ridealong with Sky
Ilya:
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[September 27th, 2022]
Harris: [image: Chiron, a large black dog, curled up on a couch next to Troy, asleep with a stuffie in his mouth]
Ilya:🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
Harris: Sorry he wasn't meant to be a Zamboni dog
Ilya: is okay. we will find different one
Harris: Ilya...
Ilya: 2 jobs is a lot for 1 dog anyway
Harris: Two dogs is a lot for one arena
Ilya:
do not worry Harris. I will do everything
I have connections 😈
Harris: You don't need to make the people you know at the animal rescue sound so sinister
Ilya:😈😈😈
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[September 28th, 2022]
CTC VIPs
Ilya: Hello most wonderful, skillful, best ever Team of Ice Resurfacers, this is Centaurs Captain Ilya Rozanov
Dani: yes we know?
Sky: wow, capitalization
Stef: Roz what do you want
Ilya: are any of you allergic to dogs
Sky: Bro we've literally all hung out at your house with Anya
Ilya: Shane says I must confirm in writing before also asking if you will be part of my plan
Stef: not to speak for everyone but I think we're all good
Dani:👍I just talked to Paul too and he's good
Stef: lowkey scared to ask but...what's this plan you speak of
Ilya: we must hold audition for Zamboni dog
Sky: Bro
Dani: brooo
Stef: auditions???
Ilya:
Stef: Harris said you were gonna talk to OAR?
Ilya: yes, we can have adoption event at arena and audition Zamboni dogs during event. will be perfect if you are okay and maybe one or two will help
Sky: ...honestly that sounds pretty cool
[Dani and Stef have liked this message]
Ilya:🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
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[September 28th, 2022]
‘Boni Bros
Dani: Should I tell Roz about Polli
Who has been on the Zamboni
And liked it
Stef: lollll
Sky:
I wanna see this play out
Stef: how's Paul taking the audition news?
Dani: lol he's fine but he made me show him how to mute that gc
Sky:💀💀💀 you coulda just removed him from the chat
Stef: could you tho
[Dani has emphasized this message]
[Sky has laughed at this message]
Dani: he legit threatened me
as if I would even wanna tell Roz he's getting ignored lol
fully like ‘just because there aren't a lot of Zamboni accidents doesn't mean there aren't any, Daniella Létourneau Martin'
[Sky has added 💀to this message]
Stef: not the full government name 💀
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[September 30th, 2022]
Cens Official Business
Rozanov: @everyone clear your schedule for Sunday in 3 weeks
wait no 4 weeks
1:00-4:00
Hayes: For what?
Young: PM?
Dillon: Why?
LaPointe: why would it be AM dumbass
[Rozanov has emphasized this message]
Young: 🖕🖕🖕
Tremblay:🤨
[Rozanov has liked this message]
Barrett: Roz I def heard Coach tell you that event can't be mandatory
Rozanov: not mandatory. maybe you come help babies find homes, maybe you are bad person. up to you
Barrett:
[Boodram, Chouinard, Dykstra, Dillon, Zoltowski, and Tremblay emphasized this message]
Chouinard: Some of us have kids man
Rozanov: and you are bad dad who won't let them have pet?
Chouinard: I'm a good dad who spends my days off with my kids because I travel for work
Rozanov: event will be bonding experience
Chouinard: Yeah, bonding them to 15 puppies I'll have to tell them they can't have
Rozanov: so you are bad dad. you can start club with Pike
Hayes: lmao
Chouinard: I will sic Sel on you Rozanov, don't think I won't
Holmberg:
LaPointe:
Young:
Zoltowski: pls I gotta see this
Rozanov: I said is not mandatory, Chouquette! I can prove this to Selena!!
[Hayes, Barrett, Boodram, Holmberg, LaPointe, Young, Dykstra, Dillon, Tremblay, Zoltowski, and LeBlanc have laughed at this message.]
Chouinard: only Selena gets to call me that
Hayes: Adorable you think that's gonna stop anyone petit chou
Chouinard:
[Nick Chouinard has left the conversation]
[Boodram has added Nick Chouinard to the conversation]
Boodram: Everyone stop bullying Chouinard
[Chouinard has liked this message]
That's what the non-official gc is for
[Hayes, Barrett, Holmberg, LaPointe, Young, Dykstra, Dillon, Tremblay, Zoltowski, LeBlanc, and Rozanov have laughed at this message]
[Chouinard has disliked this message]
Haas: I'll be there, Captain!
[Rozanov has loved this message]
Zoltowski: Haasy keeping that favorite son status
[LaPointe, Holmberg, Young, Boyle, and LeBlanc have laughed this message]
Haas: Leave me alone I miss my family's cats 😭😭😭
[everyone has loved this message]
Boodram: Goldy, say sorry
Zoltowski: Sorry, Haasy 💖
[Boodram and Haas have loved this message]
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[October 2nd, 2022]
Troy: question
Shane: are you planning to ask something or...
Troy: sorry got distracted
who's taking custody of this Zamboni dog once these auditions happen
Shane: did you mean to text me? this is Shane
Troy: dude yes
I asked Harris and he said ask Ilya
your husband said “we'll figure it out”
Shane: ”your husband” feels unnecessary lol
I have nothing to do with this
other than like, showing up
also who is we
Troy: my point exactly
Shane: I'm sure Ilya has a plan
[Troy has questioned this message]
Troy: Hollander
Shane: yeah saw it as soon as I sent it
I'll handle it
[Troy has liked this message]
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[October 3rd, 2022]
Ilya: Harris why is your fiance telling my husband I am bad at planning
Harris: This feels like a question for Troy
Ilya: I told him we will figure out where Zamboni dog will live
he did not believe me
now Shane is saying Anya can't have a sibling
it is hurting her feelings
Harris: who is we?
Ilya: me, you, the team
Harris: I mean...
Ilya: ???
Harris: you said you would take care of everything and I didn't need to worry
Ilya: okay so we is not you
we is just expression
why are you worried
Harris: I'm not worried. Troy is worried. Which is why you should be texting him about this.
[Ilya has added Troy Barrett to the conversation]
Ilya: Troy you can't see but Harris and I have agreed you should not worry
no one should worry
Harris: we did?
I mean, I do agree but
Troy: I'm not WORRIED
I'm just...wondering what the plan is
Chiron likes being an only child
[Ilya has added a 🙄 to this message]
Ilya: no one is asking you to adopt Zamboni dog
maybe it will be me and Shane
maybe it will be Coach or rookies or Chouquette
maybe we will not find one who likes riding on Zamboni 🤷♂️
Troy: okay, fine. as long as you're thinking about it
Ilya: I am
please leave Shane alone
unless you are convincing him Anya needs siblings
Harris: no one will meddle
anymore
right Troy?
Troy:👍
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[October 22nd, 2022]
[Instagram post from @OdawagAnimalRescue with @OttawaCentaurs]
[Video: two dogs, standing, staring at the holder of the camera, tails wagging happily. They are both wearing Centaurs bandanas and balancing a treat on their nose. A voice off screen says "wait... wait... okay!" at which point both dogs flip the treats into their mouths]
OdawagAnimalRescue We can't wait for the adoption event today with @OttawaCentaurs! We'll be at Canadian Tire Centre from 1:00pm-4:00pm with Ozzy, Finn, and a whole bunch of other canine and feline friends looking for homes.
OttawaCentaurs Can't wait to see you all and help these babies find homes!
ilyarozanov81 see you soon!
ilyarozanov81 @shanehollander24 Anya says to tell you she loves Finn and needs a brother
shanehollander24 @ilyarozanov81 Anya is sitting right next to me and she says to tell you you're a liar
LaPointiest @officiallucahaas has so much love to give exclusively to cats
officiallucahaas ...what does this even mean
View all 127 comments
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[October 23rd, 2022]
Supergays & Their Husbands
Harris:[image: two dogs on a sofa, sleeping. their sides are touching and one of the dogs has his chin resting on the other's head. there is also a small orange cat curled up on one of the dog's backs]
[Shane, Ilya, and Troy loved this message]
Ilya: oh no Chiron is so miserable not being only child anymore
so sad to see
Harris: lol
Troy:🙄🙄🙄
Shane: I really wish I had video of you telling Harris he wasn't allowed to get attached to any of the animals yesterday lol
[Ilya has emphasized this message]
[Harris has laughed at this message]
[Troy has disliked this message]
Harris: in Troy's defense
Shane: planning to finish that sentence?
Harris: ...yeah, sorry I've got nothing
Ilya:💀
Shane: lol
Troy: W O W
Harris: I meannnnnn
Troy: you signed those papers too!
didn't even try to stop me
even though you're a monster who hates cats
Harris: I do NOT hate cats
Ursula, one singular cat, hates ME
Ilya:
Harris: Ilya shut up Ursula hates everyone and you know this
Troy: not me
Shane: maybe because you named her Ursula?
Ilya: I did not adopt cat yesterday so this is irrelevant
Harris: Speaking of...
Troy: Yeah, how’s your only child’s new sibling? lol
Ilya: [video: Anya and another dog playing tug-of-war with a rope]
🥹😍🥹😍
Shane: **FOSTER sibling
[Harris, Troy, and Ilya have laughed at this message]
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[October 24th, 2022]
CTC VIPs
Dani: Roz don't hate me
Ilya: never
probably
tell me more
Dani: lol
meet Polli [image: a brindle dog sits on a cushion on a Zamboni. the picture appears to have been taken from the driver’s seat]
[Ilya has emphasized this message]
[Sky and Stef have loved this message]
Ilya: Dani!!!!!!!!!
when? where? how??
Dani: lol she's my partner's
I mean both of ours now, but they got her shortly before we met
Ilya: and she likes riding Zamboni??
Dani: yeah she's chill with it
Stef: unlike every other adoptable dog in Ottawa apparently lol
Dani: lol at least lots of adoptions happened!
[Ilya, Stef, and Sky have loved this message]
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[November 16th, 2022]
[Instagram carousel post from @OttawaCentaurs]
[Image 1: Taken on CTC ice, a brindle dog stands on the driver's seat of the Zamboni. She has pointy ears and a rounded snout, and her tongue lolls out of her mouth. She appears to be smiling. She is wearing red boots, a sweater in Centaur colors, and a collar with a gold nameplate that reads "Polli."]
[Image 2: Polli is curled up in a fluffy dog bed, her nose resting on a stuffed Centaur.]
[Image 3: Polli is walking on a trail, looking happily up at the person next to her. The picture was taken by someone walking behind them, and Polli's tail appears only as a blur.]
[Image 4: Ilya Rozanov lays on the ice, dressed in his gear, gloves and stick laying on the ice beside him. Polli is standing on his chest, and his bare hands are scratching her ears. He is laughing, open-mouthed, and Polli is licking his chin.]
OttawaCentaurs We are thrilled to welcome Polkana "Polli" Nikolaeva as our Official Zamboni Dog.
Polli loves long hikes, her Ottawa Centaur stuffie, and trying to befriend squirrels (and Centaur Captains). When she's not supervising ice resurfacing at CTC, Polli lives with her parents, Mika and Dani.
Join us at CTC tonight, as the Centaurs take on Buffalo, to catch Polli's first in-game shift with Dani.
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