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“Right… And what exactly am I agreeing to?” Remus murmurs into his steaming mug of coffee. It’s barely 8 a.m. and he’s half asleep at the dining table trying to keep up with Lily’s frantic rambling.
“So you’re saying you agree?”
“You’re avoiding the question.” It takes a moment but eventually Lily deflates and sinks down into the dining chair beside him, holding her head in her hands as she recalls the most absurd, gay panic induced social interaction Remus could possibly imagine. “So you’re telling me… you lied to a girl you just met about our house being haunted—”
“A girl who could very well be the love of my life!” Lily interrupts.
“ —and now her friends are coming over to perform a paranormal investigation? In our house. Which, by the way, isn’t haunted,” he deadpans.
…
“She was really pretty.”
Remus takes a deep breath and rises from his seat, walking over to the kitchen cabinet and pulling out a bottle of Irish whiskey (the nice one he stole from Petunia and Vernon’s wedding last summer when he was coerced into being Lily’s moral support and plus one). He pops the cork and tops off his half finished coffee with the dark amber liquid. The long sip he takes burns in the back of his throat as he mentally prepares for what is sure to be a hectic evening. “Alright,” he sighs, “what time are they coming over?”
Lily squeals and jumps out of her seat before rushing over and placing a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” The red head ducks around the corner and bolts up the stairs to get ready. “I owe you one Remus!”
“The time?” He yells back.
“Six P.M. sharp!”
Remus tilts his head back with an exasperated sigh.
He’s already sure he’ll regret this.
⋆˚₊ 𖤓☽˚.⋆
The Spooky Skittles
Panda
Hello boys! Is anyone free to do a house visit later? It’s the old cottage on Hallow Dr. The new tenant visited the store today and they’ve been experiencing symptoms of a residual haunting
[ 12:00 pm]
Jr.
r u srs?! rosie and i have been dying to investigate the old murder house! can we film??
[12:00 pm]
Panda
Yes! I asked and she agreed to cameras :)
[12:01 pm]
Ev
currently researching the history of the building
it’s nuts
Bee n I will load up the car and come pick you up before getting Reg
[12:31 pm]
Panda
I’ll be at Sirius and Archie’s place. I need to grab a few things.
[12:31 pm]
Archie
I never agreed to this.
[12:32 pm]
Panda
:(
[12:32 pm]
Jr.
:(
[12:32 pm]
Ev
:(
[12:32 pm]
Jr.
c’mon reggie, baby!! Pls?
[12:33 pm]
Archie
Fuck off.
[12:34 pm]
Panda
Pls?
[12:35 pm]
Archie
…
Fine.
[12:35 pm]
Panda
:)
[12:35 pm]
Ev
How come dora always gets special treatment :/
[12:37 pm]
[12:38 pm] Archie has left the group chat
[12:39 pm] Panda has added Archie to the group chat
Panda
See you soon!! <3
[12:38 pm]
“She really agreed? Just like that?” Regulus questions with a raised brow. The boy is perched in his reading nook, idly paging through a textbook on demonology. Pandora hums in confirmation as she rummages around the room and packs an assortment of items into her tote bag. Her eyes scan over the dark mahogany desk, darting between the burning earl grey scented candles, vintage type writer, and potted houseplants.
“Archie, where’s your black tourmaline?” Regulus points to his bookshelf and Pandora immediately spots the crystal tower resting between ‘The Uncensored Picture of Dorian Gray’ and ‘The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe’. She plucks the tourmaline from its spot and places it in her bag alongside the other protectants she’s already gathered.
She’ll be the first to admit, her initial encounter with Lily Evans was rather odd. The girl had wandered into Pandora’s shop looking overwhelmed amongst the spell jars, heavy plumes of incense, and oracle cards. Apparently she was looking for a tea that would ease her roommates chronic migraines and while the store wasn’t exclusively an apothecary, Pandora carried enough herbs and tinctures to whip something together.
By the time Pandora handed Lily her purchase, the two had managed to bounce between several topics of conversation with an ease Pandora had only ever experienced with the Skittles. She’d learned that Lily and her roommate, Remus, moved in this last month and opened the bookstore down town called moonflower. In turn Pandora explained everything that she did for work (keeping up the shop, occasional tarot and palm readings at the town’s night market, offering her ‘sight’ to those who wished to contact the dead, etc.). Afterwards, Lily asked if Pandora would ever like to drop by for a visit. (‘I live in that stone cottage on the end of Hallow Drive. If you’re ever free to come by, I could make us tea and we could talk some more...’)
As a medium it was pretty par for the course. Customers often requested her for home visits when they suspected lingering spirits. Pandora would check out their residence, talk with whatever soul was attached to the property and figure out what was needed to help them pass.
Pandora could already hazard a guess as to what troubles Lily was likely dealing with in the old cottage. All the locals know the place is haunted. It’s why no one dared to move in for so long despite the low cost.
But Lily, who wasn’t a local, was none the wiser. Of course Pandora agreed to help. Lily seemed quite confused when she started asking follow up questions regarding how long the haunting had been going on and what kind of contact she’d made with the spirits. Nevertheless, the girl answered the questions and surprised Pandora even further when she agreed to let Pandora’s friends lead and film an investigation.
“I think she was trying to flirt with you Panda,” Regulus sighs. “Either way, Barty and Evan are going to have a field day with this,” he finishes with an eye roll.
“Right you are, Archie,” a new voice chimes in. Barty waltzes into Regulus’ room as if he owns it and throws himself onto the bed with a smug grin pulling at his pierced lip. “Trust, this one’s gonna be great guys. Rosie and I even brought some new equipment to try out.”
“Your so-called equipment is nonsense,” Regulus mutters as he shuts his book.
“It’s not nonsense,” Barty mimics in an exaggerated posh accent. “It’s legit. Besides, the channel just hit eight million subs. We’re running with the big leagues now.”
Before Regulus can argue back, there’s a loud honk from outside. Through the bedroom window they watch as Evan leans his head outside a black minivan and repeatedly slaps the side of the car door. “If you three don’t move your asses, I’m leaving without you!”
Pandora finishes packing and leaves the room with a skip in her step as the other two trail behind her. She’s excited for this visit and it's not just because of the ghost.
⋆˚₊ 𖤓☽˚.⋆
Sirius is bored. So bored that when his baby brother and his little band of miscreants walk past the living room and towards the door, he pauses the game he and James are playing to ask what they're up to.
“We’re investigating a haunting,” Pandora chirps. There’s that unsettling grin on her face and Sirius quickly averts his eyes to stare at his brother instead.
See, Sirius has always found Regulus’ friends kinda odd but the little blond one has always freaked him out a bit. He doesn’t trust people who are that happy and care free all the time. Pandora could intentionally start a house fire and she'd still wear that same cheery expression. Plus, one time while he was on his way back to his room after a midnight piss, he caught her talking to a seemingly empty corner with all the lights off.
Freaky.
He stays in his room throughout the night whenever she sleeps over now.
“A haunting?” James squeaks from his end of the couch.
“Yup,” Barty answers. “We're going to the old Hallow murder house. Apparently someone finally moved in after all these years.” James looks about ready to shit himself.
Now, Sirius grew up hearing all about spirits, angels, and even demons. He and Reggie both did. Wallburga and Orion raised their sons to be devout catholics after all.
Not that any of those teachings ever stuck.
“Get a grip James, all that ghost talk is bullshit.” Sirius reassures his friend.
“Is not.” Barty quips.
“Is to.”
Angry honking cuts their argument off. From outside there’s muffled yelling that can only be Evan.
“Why don’t you two come along and we’ll prove it,” Barty taunts. Regulus looks at his friend in disgust, clearly displeased by the invite which only spurs Sirius on.
It’s not like he and James have anything better to do.
He hops up, grabbing his house keys from the coat rack. “Alright,” he shrugs on his old leather jacket, “but when we get there and find out the place isn’t haunted, because ghosts aren’t real, you owe me a pack of Camels.”
“Deal.”
“Sirius, I really don’t think this is a good idea.” James’ voice wavers and he fidgets from where he’s still rigidly seated on the couch.
“See that, Reg,” Barty sings, “Potter’s a scaredy cat.” Sirius covers his mouth to stifle the abrupt laugh that escapes him. James’ eyes widen as they flit over to Regulus who stares back with disinterest. It’s no secret that James has a tragic crush on the youngest Black brother. Has for years now.
The group watches as James’ need to impress Regulus wars with his fear of the supernatural. Eventually, or inevitably, his inner romantic wins and he dejectedly rises from the couch to pull on his red converse.
⋆˚₊ 𖤓☽˚.⋆
Remus notices them before they even knock on the door. The black minivan screeches into the driveway with all the windows down and the base turned up blasting some alternative rock station. Before the car rolls to a full stop, the back door flies open and out hops a tall man who looks like a tatted Calvin Klein model fitted in tight, ripped black jeans and a faded Sleep Token band tee.
Suddenly, the idea of allowing a group of strangers to riffle through his house doesn’t seem too bad…
Before Remus can really get a chance to properly ogle the man, Lily comes barreling into the sitting room, pushing him to the side so she can throw open the front door.
“Pandora! I’m so glad you could make it,” Lily cheers as a petite blond makes her way over. She wears a knee length, lacey, white dress and gold jewelry that tinkles with each movement. Her arm is linked with a boy who looks like a more princely version of the Calvin Klein model (who is now bickering with two other guys hauling duffle bags and camera equipment from the back of the car), adorned in silver jewelry, a charcoal turtleneck and black high waisted trousers.
“Hello, Lily,” the girl smiles brightly, “I’m happy to help.”
“So happy to help,” a smooth voice chimes in. The rest of the group is now gathered round the entrance. The one who spoke sticks his hand out in greeting. “Name’s Barty and this is my partner Evan. We’re the ones exploiting the haunting of your home for Youtube content–”
Barty is shoved to the side by Evan. “You’re such a dick, Bee,” he sneers. “He’s not wrong but we’ll at least try to get rid of any unwelcome spirits while we’re at it.”
“Which will be super easy,” the model cuts in, “because there are no spirits to get rid of seeing as they’re not real.” Now that the man is closer, Remus can catalog the finer details, from the light stubble on his jaw to the array of tattoos marking his pale skin.
Holy shite, he’s beautiful
“Why on God’s green earth would you two choose to live in a haunted house," A man with crooked gold rimmed glasses and unruly black hair accuses from where he hides behind the group.
“We didn’t think it was haunted—”
Lily immediately cuts him off, “but it turns out it is! Very much so!” She shoots him a stern look before welcoming everyone into the house and leading them into the sitting room. Remus shuts the door behind them and follows the group, falling into step with the model.
“So…you don’t believe in all this haunted stuff?”
The raven glances his way, shooting him a cocky smirk that makes Remus’ heart stutter. “Not in the slightest,” he drawls. “I find it quite boring even hearing about it most of the time if I'm being honest. I only tagged along on the pretense of a bet.” The man’s grey eyes drag over Remus, giving him a slow once over. “You’re quite interesting though… What’s your name, Sweetheart?”
Remus’ voice cracks when he shares his name. He wants the floor to open up and swallow him whole. The man hums before stepping in front of Remus and coming to a stop. They’re chest to chest, so close to each other that Remus can smell his woodsy cologne.
“Well Remus,” The name rolls off his tongue, sounding divine on his lips, “you can call me Sirius.”
Sirius.
Sirius. Sirius. Sirius.
Oh, Remus is so fucked.
⋆˚₊ 𖤓☽˚.⋆
“What’s up guys! It's Evan and Barty and today we’re going to be investigating the old Hallow Estate or as many of you may know it, Godric’s infamous murder house.” Barty turns the camera, allowing Evan to take over with the introductions.
“As you can see, our favorite eerie duo, Pandora and Regulus are back again to help us out. Are ya’ll ready to see some ghosts?” Regulus stares impassively at the camera while Pandora claps her hands together in excitement.
“Alright,” Barty takes over, “then let the investigation begin!” He cuts the camera but the delighted grin remains on his face which James finds beyond absurd.
As Evan had explained in far too much detail an hour earlier, the Hallow Estate had a dark history. There’d been a total of seven deaths on the property, each one more gruesome than the last. From tragic accidents to alleged homicides, the walls of this cottage have seen it all. Hell, Evan even mentioned that at one point in the 70s, cultists would rally in the basement and hold seances.
James isn’t ashamed to admit he’s scared shitless. He’s always believed in the paranormal but unlike Barty and Evan who seem to find some macabre fascination with it, James would rather leave it alone and at a far distance.
Well… unless a pretty boy beckons him to do otherwise apparently.
Lily and Remus are led to the kitchen so they can be interviewed on their time living in the house. Regulus and Pandora disappear to investigate upstairs, leaving Sirius and James with a handful of equipment and a rundown of what to do during their own investigation in the basement.
The fucking basement.
“James, you’re gonna be fine, just breathe,” Sirius reassures while he finicks with the GoPro strapped to his chest. The wooden steps beneath them creak and groan under their weight as they make their way down the dark stairwell. Unfortunately turning on the lights would ‘ruin the spooky vibes of the video’ as Evan so eloquently put it. Not that the single bulb hanging in the center of the basement would emit much light anyway but James would prefer that over his flickering flashlight.
“Sirius, I really don’t think this is a good idea,” he hisses once they reach the cement floor at the bottom. The room is quite sparse, nothing but cobwebs, wooden support beams and dusty boxes scattered throughout the perimeter.
“Of course it’s not,” Sirius responds, “if it were a good idea the two of us wouldn’t be doing it now would we.” Sirius starts setting up the various pieces of equipment throughout the room.
A music box that acts as a motion sensor is stationed by the entrance.
A device Barty had called a REM pod sits near the far wall.
A maglite resting atop a stack of cardboard boxes.
And finally a spirit box firmly grasped in James’ hands.
Sirius plops himself down in the center of the room, and pats the freezing cement beside him as if that will make it any more inviting a seat for James. Regardless, he settles down beside his best friend and tries to compose himself. It’s just as he gets his breathing somewhat under control that a scraping sound makes him jump out of his skin.
“What was that?”
Sirius leans back on his hands and shrugs. “Old houses make weird noises all the time.”
“Right…,” James desperately wants to believe that’s the reason. “Let’s just get this over with.” He turns on the spirit box, disrupting the suffocating silence of the cellar. Radio static filters through the room as it sweeps through channel after channel. Sirius curses at the loud noise as he pulls out his phone and skims over the list of questions and prompts Evan had texted him.
“Alright, my name is Sirius and this is James. If there’s anyone here who would like to communicate with us, use any of the devices here to give us a sign,” he reads in a bored voice. The spirit box continues to spit out a cacophony of fragmented words. James holds his breath as he frantically darts his eyes throughout the room.
A minute passes.
Then two.
Nothing happens.
“C’mon James, try asking the empty room a question.” James resolutely shakes his head. Barty told them that the spirits residing in the basement have a history of being violent. The only cautionary advice they were given was to avoid antagonizing them and James was set on heeding that warning, thank you very much. “Listen up spirits, my friend and I aren’t scared of you. Frankly, I don’t even think you’re real but feel free to prove me wrong in any way you see fit.”
“Sirius…”
“Scratch me, throw me across the room, whatever you need to do. Unless you’re too chicken shit to do anything—”
“ —Shhh! You’re gonna piss them off!” Sirius’ face morphs from apathetic to mischievous. That trickster grin he’d adorned so often during their pranking days in uni creeps across his features and it’s then that James realizes he’s screwed.
Sirius opens his mouth, no doubt to further taunt the ghost, but he’s interrupted by the chilling notes of a forgotten nursery rhyme. They both peer over, watching as the music box continues to play its haunting tune. “Okayyy,” James stutters, “that’s enough, thank you.” The music immediately cuts off at his request and he swears the temperature drops several degrees as goosebumps raise on his skin. He immediately looks at Sirius because what could possibly explain that? Of course, it’s then that the spirit box spits out a scratchy ‘HELLO’.
James is gonna cry.
Sirius looks like he’s about to break down in a fit of laughter.
“Yes, hello. Okay try to answer in a more prompt manner this time—” James grabs at Sirius’ sleeve, trying to cut him off. “ —If you are a good entity, give us a sign.” Nothing. “Okay, if you are an evil entity give us a sign.” The maglite flickers on.
No. No no no. No.
Sirius is cackling.
“Oooo, okay. Big bad tough guy, are ya?”
“How are you not terrified right now!?”
“Because it’s all bullshit. Watch this,” Sirius takes a deep breath before shouting, “Spirits! Listen to me as I disrespect you and your claim to this home! If you’re real, prove it. I invite and urge you to cause me bodily harm.” The REM pod beeps and flashes red. If James wasn’t paralyzed with fear he’d probably run out of the room. “This ghost is weak, dude,” Sirius chides. “If you want to hurt me, turn off the maglite.”
The light flickers out.
“We should leave—”
“ —good, good. If you want to hurt James, turn the light on.”
“NO. Nope. Don’t loop me into your shit,” James panics. “I’m not with him,” he voices to the room.
“Yes he is,” Sirius states sagely. “If you want to kill me and my dear friend, James Fleamont Potter, turn the light on.”
Much to James’ horror, the light flickers on.
”Annddd we’re dead. Look James, the ghost is gonna kill us.” James has the urge to throttle his friend as his barking laughter fills the room.
⋆˚₊ 𖤓☽˚.⋆
Pandora sits beside Regulus on the guest room floor. Aside from the small glow emitting from the flickering flame of a wax candle, illuminating the ouija board placed between them, the room is dark. As much as she adores her friends, she’s never been one for all their spirit gadgets. She doesn’t feel she needs them to communicate with those across the veil. Granted, she and Regulus have always been more attuned to the spirit world.
The two have been waiting for quite some time. Long enough for Pandora to obsessively cycle through every interaction she’s had with Lily in her memory thus far. Twice over. The other girl had such a warm personality. She was kind and quick witted in a way that made Pandora gravitate towards her...and maybe, just maybe, she was hoping Regulus was right in thinking the redhead liked her.
The candle flickers out for a moment before relighting itself, letting Pandora know they’re no longer alone. Regulus shifts, steadying his hand on the planchette, also aware of the change in energy.
“Hello, may I ask who’s just joined us?” There’s a pull on the planchette as it drags across the board, settling on the number 1 at the bottom of the board before drifting along to spell out a word.
1-O-W-N-E-R.
“One owner…” Regulus mutters, “were you the first owner of the house?”
YES.
The planchette moves back to the board’s center, waiting. Pandora tries to rack through her brain thinking of who the original owner was. Thankfully, Regulus has an eidetic memory.
“Myrtle, right?” The planchette confirms his guess. Myrtle Warren was gifted the Hallow Estate back in the 30s by a late uncle who’d had it built for her and her sick mother. Mrs. Warren succumbed to tuberculosis pretty soon after they’d moved in but Myrtle passed in ‘43. The case was ruled an accident after a boy named Tom found the body, though many suspected foul play. Part of Pandora was curious to know what had happened but it’s in poor taste to ask a spirit how they died.
“Myrtle, are there any other spirits lingering in the house?”
6.
“Is there anything malevolent in the house?” There’s a pause before the planchette slowly moves to hover over the word YES. “Can you tell us what it is? Or where it’s anchored?”
Their hands are pulled once again, lingering over each letter with a definitive pause before moving on.
D-E-M-O-N.
B-A-S-E-M-E-N-T.
Pandora lets out a breath. Demons are always so difficult to deal with. She glances up to gauge Regulus’ reaction and she’s not surprised to see the blatant glee painted over his features. He's always wanted to exorcise a demon. What she is surprised by is the full bodied apparition draping itself over her friend. Myrtle leans her head atop Regulus’ shoulder, peering up at him through her round glasses while twirling a transparent finger through her shoulder length hair. The image is the embodiment of a school girl with a crush.
Pandora doesn’t have the heart to break it to the poor girl that the living boy she’s so smitten with prefers men. Particularly, tall extroverted jocks with sunshine personalities. Not that he’d ever admit that to anyone aside from Pandora out loud.
“Alright Myrtle, thank you for your time. We’ll do our best to clear up the basement for you.” Myrtle doesn’t so much as glance her way to acknowledge Pandora’s words. They drag the planchette over the bottom of the board, saying goodbye and closing the connection. Pandora snuffs out the candle but she wouldn’t be surprised if Myrtle continued to follow Regulus for the rest of the evening.
As they make their way back downstairs, the sound of raised voices immediately catches their attention. The scene before them as they round the corner into the kitchen is a mess.
Sirius is laughing so hard he has to white knuckle the kitchen table to keep himself upright.
James is tugging at his unruly hair, with a terrified glaze over his eyes as he talks a mile a minute, gasping for breath between every other word. Lily tries to talk him down, demonstrating breathing techniques that Pandora has only seen being used by people in active labor.
Meanwhile, Remus sits atop the kitchen counter with a tired expression on his face, eating from a bag of chocolate chips, watching alongside Barty and Evan, who stand off to the side, filming it all with blatant amusement.
Regulus immediately makes a move to walk out of the room to avoid the whole thing but Pandora tugs him back by the shirt collar.
“Oh, you guys are back! How’d your investigation go?” Barty yells over the chaos. “Sirius and Loverboy were just telling us about their time in the basement.”
James whips his head around to focus on them. “Sirius was deliberately trying to antagonize the ghosts, and now they want to kill us!”
Regulus takes a step forwards, stoic expression still in place but his grey eyes are set on James who’s gone pale and silent. When he reaches the taller boy he looks up and tilts his head to the side, studying James for a moment before speaking in a quiet voice. “It’s okay James, there are no ghosts in the basement. They’re not going to hurt you.” James lets out a breath clearly feeling somewhat reassured by Regulus’ words.
“See, I told you—” Sirius starts but Regulus interrupts him.
“It’s a demon that’s in the basement,” he says calmly, “that’s likely what threatened to kill you both.”
It’s Remus who breaks the silence, the tone of his voice incredulous. “I beg your fucking pardon.”
Evan and Barty turn towards each other, confusion on their faces. “I never read anything about a demon being on the property,” Evan mumbles.
“Maybe the cultists from the seventies conjured it?” Barty shrugs.
“So there was never a haunting, just a demon infestation.”
Pandora can’t help herself as she chimes in. “Oh, there’s definitely a haunting.” James lets out a distressed whine at the words and Regulus grabs his sleeve in comfort. Not that anyone else notices. “Don’t worry though, the spirit that lingers is friendly.” She makes eye contact with Regulus and smirks, “especially around our handsome Archie here. She was practically leaning on top of him.”
“That explains the chill I had earlier,” the boy murmurs, clearly not amused.
James blanches in her direction. “You could see it?”
“Of course I could. And she’s not an it. Her name is Myrtle.”
“That can’t be right,” Lily shakes her head in shock, “there’s nothing in this house. There never was.”
“What do you mean there’s nothing?” Barty prompts. “You literally called us here because you thought the place was haunted.”
“No, I called you here because I wanted a chance to get to know Pandora. But now you’re telling me there’s a demon in my basement!” Lily seems to realize what she just said because she immediately clamps her hands over her mouth and whips around to face Pandora with wide apologetic green eyes. “Pandora, I’m so sorry I lied. I just— I tried to invite you over for a date but somehow I messed it up so badly that you thought I was asking for spiritual help and instead of clarifying anything I panicked and made the whole haunting up.” She rushes out frantically.
Sirius lets out a low whistle at the end of the redhead’s monologue and Pandora glares at the boy. She walks over and wraps Lily in a tight hug, reveling in the way the other girl immediately leans into her and tucks her head into the crook of Pandora’s neck.
“I told you she was probably just trying to flirt.”
“Shut up Regulus,” Pandora snarks. She takes a step back and holds Lily’s face between her palms. “I’m not upset with you for lying,” She reassures. “I enjoyed spending time with you today and if you’re still interested I’d love to go on a proper date with you.”
Sirius quirks a brow. "You want to go on a date with a pathological liar? That's psychotic— OW!" He doubles over, holding his stomach where Regulus just elbowed him, "Fucking hell, I was joking you neurotic gremlin!"
Barty coos and sarcastically waxes poetry about how beautiful young love can be.
“Umm, this is all super sweet but, what are we supposed to do with the demon downstairs?”
Remus shrugs at Evan’s question from his place atop the counter. “We could just leave it there. It’s not like it was causing any issues before. It’d be nice if it could pitch in on rent though.”
“Rem, we can’t just live with a demon in the basement,” Lily sighs in exasperation.
Pandora winces at the brunette’s nonchalance. “I would recommend dealing with that. It’s not an imminent threat now, but that doesn’t mean it’ll stay docile forever.”
“Sorry, but I think the demon proved itself to be a pretty imminent threat after it promised to kill Sirius and I.”
“I could exorcise it,” Regulus suggests a little too eagerly.
Barty and Evan’s eyes light up before berating Regulus with a series of questions.
Could you really?
How can we help?
Can we film it?
“Since when do you know how to perform an exorcism,” Sirius asks his brother.
“Bella taught me how when she visited the house that one Easter.” Bellatrix Black learned a lot when she broke into the Vatican archives a few summers back.
He gets an eye roll in response. “Of course she did,” Sirius mutters, “crazy bitch.”
⋆˚₊ 𖤓☽˚.⋆
To Lily’s surprise, an exorcism is pretty straight forward.
Barty and Evan set up their cameras while Pandora walks around the basement with lit incense, occasionally plucking a crystal from her pocket and placing it down on the floor. Remus and Sirius are tasked with creating a massive salt circle in the center of the room but considering how distracted they are flirting with each other, the circle is looking more like a home grown potato.
At the center of it all is Regulus, who kneels inside the salt circle with a piece of chalk drawing a sigil of some sort…
“There you are!” Lily glances down to meet Pandora's blue eyes. She smells like lavender and incense. “Did you find everything okay?” Lily nods as she pulls out Pandora’s tote bag and hands it off. “Perfect, thank you,” the blonde chirps as she darts off towards Regulus (but not before leaving a chaste kiss on Lily’s cheek that makes her feel as if she’s about to melt).
From there, candles are lit and scattered throughout the room. Regulus orders everyone to stand outside of the salt circle and splashes them each with an open flask of holy water—where he got it from, Lily hasn't the slightest.
“Reg, babe, quick question,” Barty starts, “if we’re exorcising the demon out, what’s with the pentagram?”
Regulus idly flicks through his worn journal while answering. “I have to trap the demon in the circle first before banishing it.” He seems to find what he’s looking for because the turning of pages stops.
James shifts from one foot to the other before speaking up. “Are you sure this is safe?”
“No." The boy drawls. "Are you all ready?”
There’s a chorus of agreements and with that Regulus starts.
“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus…”
⋆˚₊ 𖤓☽˚.⋆
“So, how do we know if it worked,” Remus asks from his spot on the floor. The exorcism hadn’t taken more than ten minutes but about halfway through, he and Sirius decided to sit down and play a makeshift game of spoons with Pandora’s tarot cards and a divining rod they found in Evan’s equipment bag.
“It’s hard to say… I guess if James or Sirius wind up dead anytime soon we’ll know that it’s still out and about,” Barty answers.
“That’s not funny,” James grouches.
“It’s kind of funny.”
“Here,” Sirius jumps up from the floor, wiping off the dust from his black jeans, “I’ll test it out right now.”
Everyone turns to watch.
“DEMON!” Sirius throws his arms out as if beckoning the entity to him. “Come on out! Fly around the room, make my bones burn or whatever it is demons do.” He turns in a full circle waiting for a reaction either in an act of fearlessness, delusion, or stubborn skepticism.
“Okay,” James cuts in from where he’s subtly shielding himself behind Regulus, gripping at his shoulders as if the younger will somehow be able to protect him (not that Regulus looks like he minds in any way), “nothing happened. You tested it and you’re okay so it’s probably gone. We should leave.”
Barty is snickering from behind the camera. “No, let him be thorough. Keep going Sirius, this makes for good content!”
“Singe my flesh, demon. Scratch me up. Make me bleed.”
“You wanna try laying on the pentagram?” Regulus suggests.
Never one to back down from a challenge, Sirius grins and throws himself down atop the chalk pentagram, face up.
“You’re fucking crazy, Sirius. You know that?” Evan mutters, shaking his head like a disappointed mother.
“Let’s go,” Sirius yells. “Rock and roll buckaroo–”
“He’s insane,” Remus laughs.
“If you want to rip out my spleen now’s your chance.” Sirius urges. “Go ahead. I invite you to tear my spine from my body and possess my soul.”
Lily raises her brows in surprise. “Wow, that's creative.”
“Demon, you have ten seconds to do something or else I will snuff you from this mortal plane forever!” Ten seconds pass and much to James’ relief nothing happens. “That’s what I thought you fucking wimp.” Sirius hoists himself up and makes his way back to where Remus sits, giving James a reassuring pat on the back on the way. As he sits down he notices Barty staring him down intently with a smirk on his face. “What are you staring at, Junior?”
“You owe me a pack of cigarettes, Black,” Barty reminds.
“I don’t owe you shit. We never saw a ghost.”
”Pandora did.”
”Pandora doesn’t count, she sees stuff all the time! She's crazy— Don't hit me, Reg! I meant it in an endearing way."
Evan spins the camera back towards himself, panning the focus away from the ongoing argument. “That’s all for this investigation guys. Please drop a like, subscribe, and leave a comment with where you’d like us to investigate next. We’ll see you next time.”
And with that the camera cuts out.