Chapter Text
It’s far too noisy in here, almost like a physically oppressive thing. It makes Eddie’s skin feel funny, like it’s too tight and wants to vibrate right off his body.
It’s way better at the bar, away from the dance floor. Too close to the speakers and the music rattles Eddie’s chest, makes it feel like his heart is pulsing to the music. The air in his lungs is thudding along with the beat. It’s bearable, for a little while, but Eddie’s been here for a couple of hours now and he can feel himself hitting his limit. He keeps one hand in his pocket so he can pull on the loose strands there; letting them slide against the pads of his fingers, again and again. He wriggles his toes in his boots; it gives him another sensation to focus on.
There’s too many people. Well, there’s probably the right amount of people for an average Friday night in a pretty average bar, but, there’s too many for Eddie. And, although the bar is fairly busy, it’s easier to stand here. Less people bump into him and brush up against him here, with one side of his body pressed to the edge of the sticky counter. That side, at least, is safe from being jostled.
More than anything, Eddie wants a shower. Wants to wash the ghost of all these touches off him. They linger. Eddie starts to feel like that almost the second he leaves in the mornings though; having to touch things so many other people have touched is bad enough in itself.
He needs to find Gareth, wish him a final Happy Birthday, and go the fuck home.
“Why do you think they have two mops?” Eddie turns. The guy next to him is perched on a stool, nursing something brown. There’s ice and a twist of orange skin in the glass. Eddie feels like he should know what the drink is because of that, but he doesn’t.
He looks over to where the guy is looking, sipping his tap water before he answers. Eddie has no idea why people pay so much to get drunk, just so they can feel shit the next day. He doesn’t like the headaches, or the nausea, or the damage to his bank account. And he most certainly doesn’t like the taste of like, ninety five percent of alcoholic drinks.
He likes peach schnapps and lemonade though, because it tastes like fruit candy.
“Multiple spillage emergency?” Eddie hazards. The guy is right, there are two mops in one bucket, “they’re house mates, so it’s not like they can have different uses.”
“Bucket mates?” The guy suggests, “you think they split the rent?”
Eddie shrugs, “maybe. But I think one of them owns the bucket outright, and he lets the other guy live there for free.” That makes more sense. You buy one mop and one bucket together; one of the mops must have faced a homelessness situation, and the first mop is being really cool about it.
The man nods, agreeing, his dark hair flopping nicely over his forehead. He’s attractive, definitely. Kind of tan, but only a little, just a touch of golden. No where near Eddie pale, but then not a lot of people are. A nice face, good jaw. Cute moles on his neck. He’s wearing a jacket and a polo, and nice looking jeans. Not that Eddie would know much about what’s fashionable, but the guy looks very neat and tidy.
“How do you know they’re guys?”
Eddie frowns back at the bucket, “vibes? Pretty sure they are though. Swiffers are probably girls.”
The guy laughs, a chuckle that Eddie can’t hear over the music, and then licks his top lip. Getting some drink off, Eddie figures. “Steve.”
“Eddie.”
Steve offers his hand for a shake, and Eddie has to pull his hand awkwardly from where it’s tucked up in his jacket pockets. He reaches for his water again, after, pressing his palm against the damp glass to balance out the brief touch of Steve’s hand. It wasn’t bad. Warm, firm and dry. Pretty good, as far as getting touched by strangers goes.
“So,” Steve raises an eyebrow, “gay mops?”
Eddie looks back over, then back at Steve. “No, I think it’s more likely that given the forced proximity, one of them will turn into a girl. The dominant one, like in clown fish.”
Steve is staring at him now, and Eddie dares eye contact for a second before looking at his drink. Steve has nice eyes, “wait. What?”
“Protandry, the biggest male turns into the girl. In clown fish.”
“You’re shitting me?”
“No? There’s a few animals that can do it, there’s this really cool kind of eel that, they like, go from male to female. A ribbon eel maybe? And they change color too, the females are bright yellow. It’s really cool.”
While Eddie is talking, another man appears behind Steve. He’s wearing a white shirt, cuffs rolled up to his forearms, blonde curly hair long enough to brush his open collar. He leans right into Steve’s space, throwing an arm over his shoulder. Steve looks away for a moment to acknowledge him, “babe this is Eddie, he’s telling me cool shit about fish.”
“He is huh?” and Steve gets a kiss on the cheek that makes Eddie feel a little intrusive, so he has another drink of water. The new guy gives Eddie a lazy finger wave with the arm that’s flung over Steve, “Billy.”
“Hi,” Eddie says weakly, examining the little logo on Steve’s polo, “hi Billy.”
“Well,” Steve continues, “actually I think we were discussing the reproductive habits of mops.”
Billy raises his eyebrows, a faint smile on his face, “oh yeah, sounds fascinating. How about like...pool cues. How do they have sex?”
Eddie frowns, thinking for a minute, “uhm, docking?” he hazards.
Steve suddenly turns away, hand covering his mouth, clearly laughing and nearly choking on his drink. Billy slaps him on the back, “swallow it you coward.”
Steve looks pained, and he waves Billy off. “Sorry,” Eddie feels bad.
“Nah man, that was funny as fuck,” Billy seems vaguely delighted by Steve’s suffering.
“That was funny,” Steve finally agrees, wiping his drink from his mouth, “can we get you a drink Eddie?”
“Uhm,” Eddie turns, scanning the bar, before checking the time on his phone. He usually likes to be in bed by ten if he can, otherwise his routine gets all screwed up. He feels really sick if he doesn’t get enough sleep. It’s only seven thirty though, so, although he was going to bail, he could have a drink, “okay, can I have a coke please? No ice.”
Billy smiles a strange little half smile at him, “sure thing sweetheart.”
Billy flags down the waiter, and once they all have drinks he picks up the conversation, “so what about fish?”
“Apparently clown fish can turn from male to female. The most dominant one will.”
“That is actually interesting,” Billy nods, “but I’ve seen Finding Nemo, like, five times, and I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen.”
Eddie snorts a laugh, and then so does Steve, “I think Eddie’s a smart guy. Just full of facts.”
Eddie shakes his head, hiding behind his hair a little, “nah. I just like documentaries. Mostly about animals. And space.”
“Space huh? And what’s your favorite space fact?”
Eddie shrugs, frowning, feeling a little like Billy’s mocking him, “I don’t know,” he sees Steve elbow Billy in the side, but he doesn’t know why.
Billy doubles down, “no, seriously, I’d really like to know?”
It’s hard to have a favorite fact, and Eddie’s absolutely sure he doesn’t have a favorite since there’s so very many cool ones, so he just picks one at random, “it probably rains diamonds on Neptune.”
“You’re shitting me?” Steve at least, looks vaguely impressed.
“Yeah, because of the like, high pressure.”
“Babe maybe we should watch a documentary?” Steve asks.
“Yeah I’m game,” Billy has that little half smile again, “Eddie, what would you recommend?”
“Oh. I...I like Cosmos. I watched The Wonders of the Universe recently, that was pretty good. Planets, liked that too. There’s lots of good stuff,” Eddie bounces on his toes, which is a sure sign he’s getting a little excited, so he tries to tone it down.
“There’s probably something on Netflix, we only live a block away, you want to come watch something?”
That does sound fun, but, Eddie checks the time on his phone again. He definitely has time, and since it’s not far, he could just leave his van here and walk back and get it later, “yeah, okay, I just got to tell my friend…”
Eddie scans the crowd, spotting Gareth he finishes his drink and puts the empty glass down. He has to weave his way through the people, and then forcibly pull Gareth by his sleeve to get him close enough to the bar that they can actually hear each other without yelling too much. Gareth is flush and sweaty from alcohol and dancing, so he’s probably having a great time.
“I’m gonna’ head out.”
“Yeah man, I figured you’d be close to being done by now. Thanks for coming though, really appreciate it, I know this kind of place isn’t your thing.” Gareth’s point is highlighted by the way the flow of people around them shuffles them about, “message me when you get home?”
“Oh. I’m going home with Billy and Steve, they want to watch a documentary.”
“What?”
Eddie turns them a little, pointing out Billy and Steve at the bar. As it happens, they’re watching Eddie right back.
“A documentary?”
“Yeah! About space!” Eddie’s quite looking forward to it now, he hopes their TV is bigger than the little one Eddie has at the trailer.
Gareth looks back and forth between Eddie and Billy and Steve, “Eddie, they do not want to watch space documentaries with you.”
“They...don’t? That’s what they said though-”
Gareth laughs, “Eddie, they want to fuck you. They’re like, whatever the dude version of cougars is. They want to make you the filling in their sandwich.”
“OH!” Eddie looks back again, at where Steve and Billy are still watching him. “Oh. I should. I should not do that-”
“Oh my God Eddie. You absolutely should do that. You have the opportunity to like, lose your virginity in the most awesome way possible-”
“You know I think that’s a social construct designed to devalue-”
Gareth actually flaps his hand right in Eddie’s face, “yes, I know, I agree, totally, but please, for the love of god, I know you want to get laid. So go. Go do that. Eddie I am absolutely straight and I can see that those dudes are smoking. They’re like, old married man cougars-”
“I think it’s manther-”
“Eddie-” and Eddie knows Gareth well enough to know he’s getting exasperated.
“You don’t think I’m going to get...axe murdered?”
“No, I don’t but, still, you want me to like, get one of their numbers or something? In case you die?”
“I’d rather not die-”
“Yes! Great plan!” Gareth shouts with tipsy enthusiasm, “lets go,” and Eddie follows vaguely in Gareth’s wake, he’s already taking Steve’s phone when Eddie gets there. Gareth calls himself from Steve’s phone, flashing the screen up to Eddie, “I got his number, if I don’t hear from you by tomorrow morning, I’m calling the police. Have fun!”
And Gareth just...leaves. Eddie’s not sure how mortified he should be by the interaction, so he just settles on very.
Plus, Gareth is right, Eddie really does want to know what actual sex with an actual other person is like, and so far, this has pretty much been his one chance. This might be the only chance he has for a while, and the thought of regretting not trying it now is...pretty scary. More scary than actually going.
So Eddie goes.