Chapter Text
Whenever the cold drew nearer, Sakura barely noticed. It was as if a thick fog surrounded him, threatening to engulf him.
Tormented by the same thoughts over and over again, he went through life. Always with the same accusations and insults.
"Monster!"
"Scum!"
"No one will accept you!"
"Die!!!"
Yes, perhaps it would be easier to simply die. It would be so peaceful, so incredibly beautiful.
–
Sakura opened his eyes. He was lying on his futon. He was drenched in sweat and breathing heavily.
Slowly, he got up and looked out the window. The sun was shining, and the sounds of joyful children echoed from outside. They were happy, but why wasn't he?
Sakura picked up his phone from the floor and checked the time. It was 7:10 a.m.
Slowly, he got up and held his head. He felt dizzy; dreams about his past had been robbing him of sleep for the past few days.
"What will happen today?" Sakura wondered, staring absently at the ceiling. The sun shone in his face, blinding him, but he didn't react.
"No one will ever love you!"
The voices from his past simply wouldn't leave his head. It was all ancient history, he was now a student of the Furin and part of the Bofurin.
"Why?" thought Sakura, his gaze sweeping across his room. Apart from his futon and his clothes, there was nothing in it. Not even curtains to shield him from the sun.
Sakura pulled himself out of his thoughts and took a deep breath. He began to change, making sure his Furin jacket covered his left arm.
"No one can find out about this," Sakura thought, looking at the cuts on his arm. It was covered in small nicks.***
Yes, cuts that had often freed Sakura from his deep thoughts, but were they truly liberating, or just another part of his self-destructive self?
He put his phone away and left his apartment. He still couldn't lock it. The lock had been completely useless ever since he arrived.
The sun shone as if everything were wonderful, filling the inhabitants of Makotchi with joy. Everyone except Sakura, who walked towards Furin with his head down.
The sound of footsteps echoed in his mind again, and his thoughts drifted back to his draining past.
"Get out of here, you monster!"
Yes, it was always the same words. Over and over again. Was he okay? Was he already at the end of his strength? Was he even still alive?
The questions about his own existence robbed Sakura of his last bit of strength, and he shuffled toward the school.
"Hey Sakura!" a voice called, snapping Sakura out of his thoughts. He lifted his head and saw his vice president, Suo and Nirei waving to him.
Sakura forced a smile and walked over to his two friends.
"Good morning," he said half-heartedly, looking into their eyes. Nirei smiled as always, and Suo wore his calm, peaceful expression.
Suo's gaze shifted to a scrutinizing look. "Are you okay, Sakura?" Sakura paused, staring for a moment at the boy with the eyepatch, puzzled.
"Yeah, yeah, why wouldn't I be okay?" replied the boy with the heterochromic eyes.
"Oh, you just looked absentminded. Well, let's go then." Suo's answer was clear, but his expression held a deep concern that Sakura couldn't quite decipher.
Together, the trio headed towards Fruin High. More Bofurin were already streaming through the school gate, which was the entrance to Fruin.
Nirei and Suo chatted about the last patrol, which, for once, was ending peacefully.
"Get lost!"
Sakura was lost in his past again. He simply couldn't forget the insults and abuse. Every time he was punished for something he hadn't done. Every time he was beaten up, simply for how he looked. Every time he was blamed for everything, no matter what he had done or hadn't done.
It was cold. Sakura shivered constantly and felt the voices in his head growing louder and louder as he sank deeper and deeper into the darkness.
"Sakura!"
Deeper and deeper.
"Sakura!"
Until he would disappear into the darkness.
"Sakura!"
Sakura jerked his head up, breathing heavily, his vision blurred, and he stood in front of classroom 1-1. Nirei and Suo stood before him, staring at him fearfully.
"S, Sakura, are you really okay?"
Oh yes, he was at school. Had he really forgotten? He wanted to answer, but his throat was parched.
He swallowed and answered Suo's question, his voice trembling slightly. "Yes, I was just lost in thought."
"Oh, okay, well then." Nirei didn't sound convinced but didn't continue picking on Sakura. Suo looked at the young man with the black and white hair, his expression unconvinced.
"Fucking monster!"
Still dazed, he entered the classroom with his two friends, who looked at him with concern.
His classmates smiled at him, and he forced himself to make a somewhat normal face.
"Get lost!"
Anzai approached Sakura and began to speak. "Good morning, class chief. Would you like to join us on patrol today?"
His voice sounded joyful and hopeful as he extended the invitation to Sakura. But the heterochromic boy didn't notice his classmate's excited anticipation.
He slowly looked up at Anzai and simply nodded. It wasn't really important to him who from his class he'd be doing the daily patrol with.
Anzai smiled. "Great, I'm looking forward to it. See you later, Sakura."
Sakura simply replied, "See you later." And began to focus on his thoughts again.
With a cream puff in his hand, Sakura headed back home.
"This city is way too nice," Sakura thought as he took another bite of the sweet pastry an old woman had just given him.
He didn't deserve this at all. Yes, he had protected the city from troublemakers many times, but he was still just as worthless as he'd always been.
"I wish you'd never been born!"
Yes, another sentence from his past. Will these voices ever leave him in peace? Probably not, but he deserved it. He was simply nothing more than scum.
The patrol had gone well; nothing had happened that could have endangered Makotchi. He was more preoccupied with wallowing in self-doubt than paying attention to his surroundings.
The evening sun shone down on the small town in all its glory, filling the river with a breathtaking play of light.
"Murderer!"
Sakura stopped and stared down at the river. His eyes were expressionless as he gazed into the deep water. It was so calm and relaxing that Sakura caught his breath.
"Will I ever find this peace?" the boy wondered. "No, I don't deserve it. I should suffer. I'm worthless."
He turned away from the railing and continued on his way.
-Suo's POV-
Suo watched Sakura walk home with a blank expression.
The boy had been acting strangely for days. Sakura kept insisting he was fine, but Suo knew perfectly well that something was troubling the heterochromic boy. But what?
Nirei stood beside the boy with the eye patch, looking equally concerned. He turned to him and began to speak. "Suo, something's wrong with Sakura."
"I've noticed that too. Something seems to be really bothering him. He can be a bit sulky sometimes, our little Sakura, but he's never been like this before."
Suo watched the black-and-white-haired boy again and sighed.
Whatever it was, he had to find out.
Suo and Nirei walked together for a while longer and then parted ways.
"What's wrong with Sakura? Has something happened?" Suo wondered anxiously.
His head ached from all the worrying, and he was tired from the day.
Even on patrol, Sakura had those blank eyes, like a dead person's. It seemed as if Sakura was trapped in a deep, deep despair.
The wind whispered through the alley, making the wind chimes chime. It was as quiet as ever, but Suo simply couldn't stop thinking about his friend's blank stare.
As everyone knew, Sakura hadn't had an easy childhood. They all knew he was despised in his old hometown, but was that really what was troubling him so much?
Suo exhaled sharply. No matter how much he thought about it, he would have to ask Sakura himself. But his friend hated showing weakness, and this issue, whatever it truly was, seemed to be destroying him from within.
He stopped in front of his door and unlocked it. His parents weren't home, so he could relax and do whatever he wanted.
Suo took off his shoes and dragged himself, his legs heavy with worry, to his room. It was already 7 p.m., and Suo felt consumed by the day's events.
After eating and getting ready for bed, the boy lay down on his bed, one eye still in the room. He was warm, but every time he thought of Sakura, a shiver ran down his spine.
He closed his eyes and replayed the day's events in his mind.
No matter what happened, he simply had to find out what was wrong with his friend before something bad happened to him.
His eyes closed again, and sleep overcame him, pulling him into a dreamless slumber.