Chapter Text
When Matthew arrives at the university library, he does what he usually does: he greets the librarian and swipes his university card, glances at his watch, and curses under his breath. He hated being late. During his junior year, he had signed up for a special program to tutor underclassmen. Although he wasn't paid, it looked good on his academic record, and Matthew was a sucker for extra credits. Many students enrolled in biology thinking they wouldn't have to deal with math or chemistry during their degree, only to be in for a big surprise in their freshman year.
Today, Matthew had a chemistry tutoring session with a freshman. For privacy reasons, Matthew didn't know his student's name, only that his last name was Kim and that he would be waiting for him in one of the private rooms on the second floor of the library.
“Hi,” Matthew greeted as he entered the room, barely paying attention to the man sitting there. “I’m sorry I’m late, I’m—”
He stopped before saying his name. It couldn’t be that the world hated him this much.
“I’m your chemistry tutor.” He tried to sound dry and disinterested, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up, and he almost fell when he tripped over the chair. The man in front of him stood up quickly and caught him by the arm.
Matthew felt his stomach turn.
"Careful," the other man said softly, Matthew practically pushed him away. He cleared his throat and sat back down. "I'm Kim Jiwoong."
Matthew nodded. “Right. Hi, Kim Jiwoong," he said quietly as he arranged his books and laptop on the table.
The other man chuckled. "I think I know you. From Hanlim High School. Don't you remember me?"
Matthew ignored him as he continued to flip through the pages of his book.
Kim Jiwoong left high school in his senior year. Matthew had heard a dozen versions of why Jiwoong left, and none of them were good. Back then, Matthew had thought they were close—close enough that when the rumors started spreading, he felt distressed and worried for Jiwoong. He tried to reach him, sending messages and calling more than once, but Jiwoong never answered.
What was he doing back in Seoul?
"According to my teacher, you're having trouble with organic chemistry," Matthew continued.
"Don't you remember me, Matthew?" Jiwoong insisted.
After a long sigh, Matthew finally looked up. "Sorry, I can’t seem to recall you," he said quietly, forcing a polite smile. “You can just call me Tutor".
Jiwoong remained serious for a few seconds and then chuckled softly.
"I must have gotten confused," he said as he also opened his books and arranged his notebook.
Matthew took his tutoring very seriously and tried to stay focused on the subject. Jiwoong also seemed focused and began asking questions about the topic, and Matthew calmly continued explaining. The hour seemed to last forever, but after a while, the alarm on his clock signaling the end of the tutoring session began to ring.
Matthew stacked his papers quickly, trying to hide the flutter in his chest. Jiwoong tilted his head, watching him with a small, teasing smile.
“You’re very serious about this, aren’t you, Tutor-nim?”
Matthew glanced up, his cheeks warming. “Of course. It’s my job.”
Jiwoong’s lips quirked as he said, “Someone should have taught you to be this good at tutoring.”
Matthew blinked, caught off guard. “Actually, no,” he said simply. “They kind of bailed on me mid-year without any explanation.” He exhaled. “I’ll see you next week then.”
Jiwoong paused, raised an eyebrow in mock surprise, then finally gave him a small, genuine smile. “Looking forward to it,” he said.
Shoving his bag over his shoulder, Matthew left the library, still replaying the encounter in his head. The subway ride to his apartment felt longer than usual, his thoughts tangled with memories he hadn’t expected to resurface.
When Matthew arrived at his apartment, his roommate was sprawled on the couch, eyes glued to the TV. Matthew didn’t feel like talking, but Hanbin had other plans.
"Matthew! Come sit with me." Hanbin waved a chip in the air, grinning. Matthew rolled his eyes but went anyway.
"What do you want?"
Hanbin leaned forward, holding up his phone. “Look at this. Do you remember Kim Jiwoong?”
Matthew stilled. “Not really”
Hanbin went on, unaware. “Really? You don’t remember him?” He raised an eyebrow, leaning a little closer. Matthew shrugged, a small movement of his shoulders. “He was our senior and your calculus tutor. He was also in the dance club with us, and… well, you used to like…”
“Stop,” Matthew cut him off quickly, turning his head toward the wall, pretending to watch the TV. He crossed his arms tightly. “I remember him.”
Hanbin laughed, nudging him with his elbow. “It’s weird, out of nowhere he followed me on Instagram. Did you check your account? Does he follow you?”
Matthew shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact.
“I thought he disappeared,” Hanbin continued, flipping through his phone. “He left school suddenly and then…”
Matthew didn’t hear the rest. His thumb hovered over his phone screen, all he could see were the notifications piling up:
kjiwoonie has followed you.
kjiwoonie liked your post.
kjiwoonie liked your post.
kjiwoonie liked your post.
kjiwoonie liked your post.
kjiwoonie liked your post.
kjiwoonie liked your post.
He gritted his teeth, locked the phone, and dropped it onto the couch with a thud. His stomach fluttered in a way that made no sense, Jiwoong had been just a stupid high school crush.
Hanbin poked him. “I can’t see anything on his profile.”
Matthew’s stomach fluttered, and he gritted his teeth. “I already knew he’s back,” he said quietly, more to himself than to Hanbin. “He’s… one of my tutoring students this semester.”
Hanbin froze, his expression shifting from mischief to surprise. “Wait… what? Did he say something to you?”
Matthew avoided eye contact, staring down at the sofa. “I… I pretended I didn’t know him.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I don’t know, Bin. I got nervous… I didn’t think I’d meet him again.”
Hanbin frowned, tilting his head. “Maybe we could… talk to him, you know?”
“Do whatever you want.” Matthew shifted uncomfortably on the couch, avoiding Hanbin’s gaze.
He knew he wasn’t hiding his annoyance, and he couldn’t lie to Hanbin even if he wanted to, he could read him like a book. They’d been friends since high school, same class, same group, always clicking. Being with Hanbin was easy; he was always cheerful, straightforward, and never rude. Matthew… well, feelings and opening up about them had never been his strong suit, even though he was bright and warm in other ways.
“Do you want to talk about this, Matt?” Hanbin asked.
“No, Bin. Really, I’m just tired.” Matthew gave him a look—half pleading, half please, just let this go.
Hanbin studied him for a moment, then let out a small sigh. “Okay… goodnight.”
When Matthew finally retreated to his room, he flopped onto his bed with a groan. He picked up his phone and started scrolling through old photos, back six years to freshman year. Pictures with Hanbin, a few with friends he barely remembered, and… a couple with Jiwoong.
His chest tightened. Matthew had thought he would never see Jiwoong again. After he dropped out and cut off contact, it had seemed like Jiwoong had vanished into thin air.
He pressed his phone against his chest, exhaling sharply. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t sit in the same room as Kim Jiwoong again, couldn’t face the tutoring sessions. He could ask to switch hours, swap students, even lose the credits, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ☆
But life is never easy for Matthew, of course. He can't just reject a student without a valid reason. And he isn’t sure “I just ran into my first love again and can’t even look him in the face” would count as one. He wouldn’t even know how to explain that to his professor—much less put it in an email.
The thought makes him sigh dramatically as he drops into a chair at one of the tables in the university garden.
"What's wrong with you now?"
Matthew looks up to see Hao leaning across the table, holding out a fork with a french fry toward Hanbin’s mouth.
"Why the sigh?" Hanbin pushes.
Matthew reaches over, grabs the spare fork, and steals a fry from the plate “Nothing. I’m just tired.”
Hanbin narrows his eyes at him but says nothing, accepting the next fry Hao offers him.
"Hm, by the way," Hao pulls out his phone and turns the screen toward them. “Do you guys know this handsome guy? He followed me on Instagram last night.”
Matthew barely glances at the screen.
Hanbin, however, leans closer. “You accepted his request? And you followed him back?”
Hao bumps Hanbin lightly with his shoulder. “Don’t be jealous, love.” He taps the screen. “Besides, I saw that you were already following him.”
Matthew raises an eyebrow. “You follow him, Hanbin?”
Hanbin shifts in his seat. “Well… I was curious. I wanted to see his photos.” He shrugs. “Do you want to see his profile?”
“No.” The answer comes too quickly. Matthew clears his throat. “I’m not interested. He’s just an old high school classmate.” He gestures vaguely toward Hao. “I don’t even talk to anyone from back then. Just Hanbin.”
Hanbin studies him for a moment.
“He was more than a classmate, wasn’t he, Matthew?”
Matthew answers with an annoyed look.
Hao’s eyes light up. “More than a friend?” He leans forward, intrigued. “Really? And was he always that handsome?”
Matthew picks up another fry just to have something to do with his hands. “He’s not even that handsome.”
“Who isn’t that handsome?”
Matthew freezes.
He knows that voice.
“Thanks for inviting me to have lunch with you, Hanbin.”
Jiwoong pulls out the empty chair beside Matthew and sits down like he’s always belonged there.
Matthew shoots Hanbin a murderous look.
“Yeah, well… we ran into each other this morning at the subway station and, you know…” He gestures vaguely, clearly trying to change the subject. “Anyway! Jiwoong, this is my boyfriend, Hao.”
Hao brightens immediately. "Ah, you're the handsome guy who followed me on Instagram."
Jiwoong laughs under his breath. “Nice to meet you.” His gaze flickers briefly to Matthew before returning to Hao. “When I followed Hanbin, I saw your photos together and figured you were a couple. I was happy to reconnect with him. We were friends in high school.”
Hao raises an eyebrow. “Oh really? Hanbin never tells me anything about his high school days. Apparently they’re too embarrassing.”
Jiwoong tilts his head, amused. “I could tell you a few stories.”
Matthew pushes his chair back abruptly.
“I have to go.”
Hao and Hanbin call goodbye after him, but Matthew barely hears them. He doesn’t expect the footsteps that follow him through the university garden and into the path between buildings.
"Do you also have classes in Building B?"
Matthew doesn’t slow down.
“No.” He rummages through his backpack, frowning. “I’m going to the library. I have tutoring.”
“Are you looking for this?”
Matthew stops. Jiwoong is standing a few steps behind him, holding Matthew’s university ID between two fingers.
“You dropped it the other day during our tutoring session.”
Matthew reaches for it, but Jiwoong steps back, just out of reach, the card swings lazily between his fingers.
“You know,” Jiwoong says, glancing down at the card, “for a moment I thought I was mistaken. You pretended so well you didn’t know me.” He taps the card lightly against his palm. “But when I read this, I was sure …” A small smile curls at the corner of his mouth. “Seok Matthew.”
Matthew reached for the ID from his hands, and Jiwoong let him take it, still smiling.
“I’m sorry,” he says flatly. “I didn’t remember you.”
Jiwoong presses a hand to his chest. "Ouch, I thought we had something special."
Matthew raises an eyebrow at him.
Something special? Then why did he disappear without saying a word?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jiwoong studies him for a moment, as if weighing that answer.
“You used to be so cute in high school.” he says quietly. “Always laughing at my jokes and going ‘hyung this, hyung that’ all the time. Why are you so cold now?”
Matthew exhales sharply.
“You’re talking nonsense.” He steps back, already turning away. “I have to go.”
He can hear Jiwoong laughing behind him.
“See you at the next tutoring session, Matthew!” Jiwoong calls, his voice teasing.
Things only got worse for Matthew. Between his part-time job at the convenience store, tutoring sessions, and classes, he barely had any free time. Normally he would spend that time with Hanbin and his (annoying) boyfriend in the campus gardens, but lately, every time he walked toward their usual table, he was there too, sitting with his friend.
It was already bad enough having to deal with Jiwoong during tutoring sessions, and now he was somehow slipping into his social circle as well. What the hell was going on? And why was Hanbin laughing like an idiot at whatever the older guy had just said? Was Hao laughing too?
Idiots. Both of them.
By the time his shift at the convenience store started that evening, Matthew was still annoyed.
He stood behind the counter, finishing stacking a few small boxes of instant ramen on the shelf. The store was quiet, the soft buzz of the refrigerators filling the space. Outside, the streetlights had already flickered on.
Matthew wiped his hands on his shirt and reached for his phone, mostly out of habit.
A new message notification blinked on the screen, a message from an unknown number.
Unknown Number:
Heyyy there! This is my number. You can text me whenever you want ;)
— J
Matthew frowned at the screen.
Matthew:
Who is this?
The typing bubble appeared almost immediately.
Unknown Number:
Really? :(
Matthew’s grip on the phone tightened.
Matthew:
I don’t have this number saved.
A few seconds passed.
Then:
Unknown Number:
Kim Jiwoong.
And before Matthew could even react, another message popped up.
Unknown Number:
Your favorite hyung :)
Matthew kept staring at the screen for a moment. He didn’t even bother changing the contact name before slipping his phone back into his pocket when the bell above the door chimed, announcing a new customer.
For the rest of his shift, his smartwatch kept vibrating against his wrist, signaling more incoming messages. Matthew did everything he could not to check his phone.
By the time his shift ended, the night air outside the store felt colder than usual. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself and finally took out his phone. Six unread messages waited on the screen, all from the same number. He sighed, unlocked it, and without bothering to read them, typed a reply.
Matthew:
How did you get my number?
The reply came by the time he reached the bus stop.
Unknown Number:
Your tutor information email.
A second message appeared.
Unknown Number:
They sent me your university email and phone number :P
Then:
Unknown Number:
Very convenient.
Matthew frowned at the screen but he didn’t have much time to think too much about the message when another one popped up.
Unknown Number:
Don’t tell me you’re already regretting becoming my tutor :(
Matthew stared at the message for a moment before locking his phone and slipping it back into his pocket. Maybe he was being too harsh. Back in high school, in fact they had been close. Jiwoong had really been his favorite hyung, even more than Hanbin. Matthew used to trail after him everywhere, laughing at his jokes, asking for help not just in tutoring but in the dance club too, always looking for an excuse to talk to him.
The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth. Just like Jiwoong was texting him now, he could have answered six years ago. Hyung, where are you? Hyung, are you okay? Hyung, what happened? You can talk to me. He had sent those messages more times than he wanted to admit, and none of them had ever gotten a reply.
Matthew let out a quiet scoff as he climbed onto the bus. If it hadn’t been for this ridiculous coincidence—him ending up as Jiwoong’s tutor—Matthew probably wouldn’t even know that the older man was back in Seoul.
The messages kept coming, little pings from the unknown number lighting up his screen, but Matthew didn’t even glance at them. He shoved his phone into his pocket, determined to ignore whatever Jiwoong was trying to start. It wasn’t worth it tonight.
The next day, after tutoring Haneul, another of his students, Matthew had exactly 35 minutes to grab a bite and rest before his Taxonomy class. For once, he found his friends alone at their usual table, without Jiwoong (yey!). Taerae, Hanbin, and, of course, Hao, were all there. When Matthew arrived, Hao was talking animatedly, so he just sat down with his tupperware and waved.
“Matthew, Hao is telling us about a new girl in the Chinese Cultural Association,” Hanbin said, giving him a quick summary.
Hao nodded, grinning. “She’s honestly a cutie, but she’s stirring up so much gossip in our chat group.”
“Why?” Taerae asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, she’s twenty-three but just starting her first year, and she came with a tiny kid and signed him up for every activity: painting, gymnastics, mathematics.”
“And that’s a problem?” Taerae asked skeptically. “You think the kid’s hers?”
Hao tilted his head, smirking. “Well… it is hers. And you know me, I don’t like gossip…” Matthew snorted quietly, and Hao shot him a mock glare before continuing. “But, when she filled out the forms, the last name matches, and she listed herself as the primary guardian. So…”
“I don’t think you should be telling us this. Sounds like a privacy violation,” Matthew muttered, half-chewing his food.
Hao rolled his eyes “Whatever. She’s also really pretty and nice. Maybe I’ll invite her someday to meet you guys, she said she doesn’t have too many friends in Seoul. Maybe you can introduce her to your sister, Matthew.” He scrolled through his phone until he found what he was looking for and held it up. “Her name’s Xiaoting. Her Insta is really cute, lots of photos with the kid and flowers.”
Matthew glanced at the screen and exchanged a quick look with Hanbin, who raised an eyebrow at him. Hanbin then took the phone from Hao and started scrolling through Xiaoting’s profile
“What?” Hao leaned over, curious. “You know her?”
Matthew shrugged lightly, forcing a casual tone. “Not really.”
Hanbin gave a small nod, scrolling through the profile before handing the phone back to Hao. “She went to the same high school as us… actually, she was Jiwoong’s girlfriend.”
“One of many,” Matthew muttered under his breath.
The table went quiet. Matthew kept his eyes on his food, suddenly aware of how that had sounded — and worse, that he'd meant it.
“Wow,” Taerae said. “What was that about?”
Matthew shrugged again. “It’s true. He had… a lot of girlfriends.”
Hao tilted his head, nodding slowly. “Then, she was also your senior, right? But why is she only enrolling in university now?”
Hanbin made a grimace “Something weird happened at the end of our first year. Almost everyone found out because she was popular but uhm… she just dropped out of high school, out of nowhere.”
“Where have I heard that story before?” Taerae asked. “Didn’t something similar happen with Jiwoong?”
Hanbin shrugged. “Yeah… weird coincidences, I guess. But that was years ago, so whatever.”
Matthew just kept chewing his food, pretending not to care, though he felt his stomach tighten. He remembered bits and pieces of the rumors but he didn’t want to think about Jiwoong or Xiaoting right now.
Hao leaned back, smirking. “Do you think they are still together?”
Taerae rolled her eyes. “You really turn everything into a drama, Hao.”
Hao just stuck his tongue out. He and Taerae laughed, but Matthew stayed quiet.
“We shouldn’t be talking about this,” Hanbin said. “The rumors weren’t good, and I think maybe she’d feel bad if we brought them up again.”
Hao exhaled dramatically. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Always such a good boy, Hanbin-ah,” he said, ruffling Hanbin’s hair.
They laughed and moved on to another topic, but Matthew stayed focused on his lunch. His mind kept drifting back to the familiar names and faces from high school. He remembered hearing stories that Jiwoong and Xiaoting had run away together… could that really be true? And the kid, could it be possible that he was..?
“Matthew, Matthew!” Hanbin waved a hand in front of his face. “Your phone.”
Matthew looked down, startled, and saw an incoming call from an Unknown Number.
“Oh, man,” Taerae groaned. “Those sellers keep calling me all the time.”
Matthew tried to laugh it off. “Yeah, right.” He rejected the call and glanced at the clock on his phone. “Fuck,” he muttered. It was too late for his class. He’d been so absorbed in the conversation that he had completely lost track of time.
A string of texts arrived immediately:
Unknown Number: My favorite tutor! I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ll be able to attend our session today. Can we reschedule?
Unknown Number: So sad to not see you today :(
With a sigh, Matthew shoved his phone into his pocket and said goodbye to his friends, already heading toward class.
He should block him.
But he didn’t, because he still needed Jiwoong’s contact information to let him know they can reschedule their tutoring session for two days later.
Matthew did his best to look uninterested in Jiwoong during their tutoring sessions, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t doing his job properly. When Jiwoong asked him to explain the Van’t Hoff equation again, Matthew did it. This time, he wrote the equation in a different way, used another example, and then asked Jiwoong to solve a problem on his own to check if he was applying the formula correctly.
While Jiwoong worked through the problem, Matthew couldn’t help staring at him. Back when they were teenagers, Jiwoong had already been popular because of his looks. But that had been high school—sure, he had been cute back then but now… Now his hair was longer, falling softly around his face, and his jawline looked sharper than Matthew remembered. He seemed broader too, his shoulders wider under the fabric of his shirt. And yet some things hadn’t changed at all. His eyes were still warm and kind, the soft aegyosal beneath them making his smile look just as gentle as it had years ago. In those days Matthew had gravitated toward Jiwoong constantly, always finding an excuse to be near him. It was only after Jiwoong disappeared that Matthew realized the truth about his feelings, it hadn’t been simple admiration for his sunbae… he’d had the biggest crush on him.
Matthew didn’t understand why, years later, sitting in front of Jiwoong made him feel like a teenager again. That same stupid need to impress his hyung crept back into his chest.
He had been a good hyung back then, Matthew remembered. Attentive, and even though he was popular, he had never acted arrogant or as if he were better than anyone else. Matthew had liked him so much that he hadn’t even questioned his sexuality. It had felt obvious, of course he would fall for his hyung.
Jiwoong looked up, a teasing glint in his eyes. “As much as I’m enjoying the way you’re staring at me… can you check this problem for me?” he asked, handing him his notebook.
“I… I wasn’t staring,” Matthew stammered, his cheeks flushing bright red as he took the notebook.
Jiwoong chuckled softly, leaning back slightly. “I doesn’t bother me that you’re staring,” he said, a small smirk tugging at his lips. “You used to do this back in high school too. But now it’s different. You’re not a kid anymore,” he added softly, letting his eyes linger on Matthew for just a second longer.
Matthew forced himself to focus on the notebook, faking concentration as his cheeks warmed.
A buzz sounded across the table, pulling both their attention. Jiwoong glanced at his phone and flipped it face down.
“Sorry,” he muttered.
Matthew just nodded, but the phone started buzzing again.
“Fuck,” Jiwoong cursed under his breath. “Sorry, Matthew. I have to take this. When she calls two times in a row it means it’s an emergency.”
Jiwoong stepped out of the room, leaving Matthew staring at the notebook. His foot started tapping against the floor before he even realized it.
When she calls?
She… as in Xiaoting?
Jiwoong returned a minute later. “I’m sorry, Matthew. I have to go.” He quickly gathered his things.
Matthew rolled his eyes. “Whatever,” he muttered, then bit his tongue. What was wrong with him? He had no right to be acting like this. “I mean… it’s fine,” he corrected himself in a softer tone. “You already had the correct formula, and you solved the problem correctly.”
Jiwoong smiled at him, that easy, warm smile Matthew remembered far too well. “See you around, Matthew.”
As he walked past the desk, Jiwoong gave him a quick, casual pat on the head before heading for the door.
Matthew felt warmth spread through his chest. It was just a stupid gesture, probably meaningless to Jiwoong, but… when the door clicked shut, he immediately buried his face in his hands and groaned into his palms.
That same night, after Matthew came back from the gym, he realized someone had reacted to the story he just uploaded, it was a simple photo of him in front of the mirror with a weight in his left hand.
kjiwoonie reacted to your story with 🔥
Matthew rolled his eyes. He tossed the phone onto the bed and headed straight for the shower, determined not to think about it.
When he came back a few minutes later, hair still damp and a towel draped around his neck, the notification was still there on his screen. He stared at it for a moment before letting out a quiet huff and finally dropping onto his bed.
Curious, he unlocked the screen and check the notification—his first time actually opening it. To his surprise, there was a string of Jiwoong’s reactions over the past week, all unnoticed until now:
kjiwoonie reacted to your story with 🔥
kjiwoonie reacted to your story with 😏
Looking strong, Tutor-nim 😉
kjiwoonie reacted to your story with 💪
Hmm… I didn’t know you had arms like that 😌
kjiwoonie reacted to your story with 😘
Looking good… I might need tips 😌
Matthew froze, cheeks heating, realizing Jiwoong had been leaving little flirty breadcrumbs the entire time—and he’d only just noticed.
What was Kim Jiwoong playing at?
He opened his photo gallery and scrolled until he found the video Hanbin had taken on his sixteenth birthday. In it, Hanbin was filming while loudly singing Happy Birthday, and Matthew could hear Jiwoong’s voice joining in somewhere behind him.
Matthew remembered that day clearly. Hanbin had brought him a small cake and had waited until Matthew’s tutoring session with Jiwoong was over before surprising him. But for some reason, when they were alone in the classroom and Hanbin was singing to him, Jiwoong had come back.
Matthew liked to think he had heard the song in the hallway and returned just to sing with them… but more realistically, he probably had forgotten something in the classroom and, being the annoyingly nice hyung he was, had decided to wish him a happy birthday too.
“I didn’t know it was your birthday,” eighteen-year-old Jiwoong had said. “Come on, you can ask me for one birthday wish.”
Matthew had shared a look with Hanbin, who only laughed.
“I want to go to the movies with hyung,” Matthew had said.
Jiwoong had smiled at him, the same fond smile he had given him earlier that day.
“Let’s do that, Matthew. Let’s go to the movies together.”
But it never happened.
Exam period started the next week, and two weeks later Jiwoong dropped out of school.
Matthew sighed, staring at the paused video on his phone. With a frustrated exhale, he opened Jiwoong’s Instagram profile—his account was private, and Matthew couldn’t see any of his posts.
He created a new account.
He told himself he was only going to check a couple of profiles, just out of curiosity. At some point, the room grew quiet and dark, the only light coming from his phone screen. Matthew barely noticed when he fell asleep.
The next morning, as soon as Matthew heard Hanbin making coffee, he bolted out of his room, nearly tripping over his own feet.
“Hanbin! Hanbin! Look, look, look!” he practically shouted, waving his phone frantically.
Hanbin, standing in front of the coffee machine with his mug in hand, barely glanced up. “Morning, Matt,” he muttered.
“Look at this!” Matthew said, shoving his phone in front of him, practically bouncing on his heels.
It’s a video of a birthday party. Loud music, people laughing, a girl around their age blowing candles in what looks like a bar.
“Okay?” Hanbin said slowly. “Who is she?”
“Wait.” Matthew paused the video and zoomed in aggressively. “There, look. That’s Jiwoong.”
Hanbin frowned, leaning a little closer to the phone. “What?”
Matthew played it again. “Look,” he insisted, tapping the screen again. “Right there.”
Hanbin squinted at the video, his coffee mug still in his hand. “…Matthew, how did you find this?”
“Last night I went through Hao’s profile,” Matthew explained rapidly. “Then I found Xiaoting’s account. I started scrolling through her profile, her tags, her highlights…” Hanbin gave him a what the hell look but Matthew ignored him and continued quickly. “She had a lot of photos with this girl so I followed her. When she accepted, I checked her birthday highlight and found this video.”
Hanbin stared at him “You did all that… last night?”
“But wait,” Matthew said, already tapping his screen again and opening another story highlight. “Guess who went on a trip together last year? Her, Xiaoting, and Jiwoong.”
Hanbin’s mouth opened, then closed. For a heartbeat, he looked genuinely lost. Slowly, he let out a breath, poured himself some coffee, and walked over to the sofa. Once seated, he jerked his head toward the empty spot beside him, silently inviting Matthew to sit.
“How did you even see their posts?” he asked, his tone curious but cautious. “Are their profiles public?”
Matthew rolled his eyes. “I made a fake account, Hanbin. Please. I’m not an idiot.”
“A fake account, Matthew?” Hanbin asked, rubbing his temple.
“cutelittlecake,” Matthew said. “It’s a cakes account.”
“Matthew, for God’s sake. Are you even listening to yourself? All of this… for what?” Hanbin tilted his head slightly. “If you’re this curious about Jiwoong, why don’t you just talk to him?”
Matthew slowly put his phone down.
“I can’t do that.”
Hanbin put a hand on his shoulder. “Okay. First of all, go take a shower. You look like you haven’t slept at all” Hanbin said, standing up. “Go shower. Get dressed. I’ll take you out.”
Matthew hesitated.
Hanbin pointed down the hallway. “Shower. Now.”
About twenty minutes later, they were walking down the street, Matthew still half-asleep with his hair slightly damp from the shower. Hanbin walked beside him, glancing over every now and then as if he were supervising a toddler.
“See?” Hanbin said. “Fresh air. Don’t you already feel better?”
Matthew grumbled something under his breath, barely noticing as they cut through the small park near the café Hanbin liked. The morning was quiet, with only a few parents keeping an eye on their children, the distant hum of traffic, and the occasional creak of the playground swings. At first, Matthew hardly paid attention to any of it, until laughter rang out from the playground and made him glance over automatically.
A boy, maybe five years old, was climbing up the slide, giggling as he reached the top. At the bottom, arms half-raised to catch him, stood Jiwoong. The boy threw himself down with a delighted shout, and Jiwoong laughed, catching him easily and steadying him before ruffling his hair.
Matthew froze in place. Hanbin took a couple more steps before noticing him.
“…Matthew?”
He didn’t answer. He was staring, completely frozen.
“Shit,” Hanbin muttered under his breath.
They shared a look, and Matthew’s mind raced. That meant… the rumors were true.
Before Matthew could process it, Hanbin yanked him by the arm. “Come on,” he said firmly, pulling him along the sidewalk. Matthew stumbled slightly, caught between shock and disbelief, but didn’t resist.
Heart still racing, Matthew followed him to the café. They ordered and sat down in a corner, the drinks just in front of them. Matthew couldn’t shake the image of the park from his mind. Finally, he muttered, almost to himself:
“That… that’s the same kid from Xiaoting’s profile photos.”
Hanbin raised an eyebrow and let out a mix of disbelief and exasperation. “For God’s sake, Matthew. I can’t believe you spent all night scrolling through their profiles. You could’ve just followed Jiwoong and looked at his account directly.”
Matthew turned to him, a little serious. “So… what do we do now?”
“What do we do now?” Hanbin asked, leaning toward him with a crooked smile. “You keep giving him tutoring, and let’s see if that makes you stop acting like a brat around him.”
“Acting like a brat around him?” Matthew frowned, clearly offended.
“Look,” Hanbin said, leaning back against the table, “Jiwoong just came back to Seoul. He stayed for a while in his grandma’s town. His high school friends don’t really talk to him anymore… it made him really happy to see us again. He cared a lot about us… and especially about you.”
Matthew felt a strange warmth in his stomach but forced himself to ignore it. Instead, he turned his head and asked casually, trying to sound indifferent:
“How do you even know that?”
Hanbin hesitated for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I followed him on instagram, and he… he said hi. We ended up talking a little over messages, and later we agreed to meet up for a drink.”
Matthew blinked, a frown forming. “Wait… and you didn’t tell me any of this?”
Hanbin shrugged, a small, tired smile on his face. “There are some things I just can’t tell you, Matthew. If you really want to know… you’ll have to ask Jiwoong yourself.”
Matthew didn’t ask Jiwoong anything. In fact, he did his best to forget about what he had seen in the park. But during their next tutoring sessions he tried, instead, to be a little nicer and less defensive whenever Jiwoong smiled at him or tried to make conversation.
That plan backfired almost immediately, because Jiwoong responded by being even nicer and worse, flirty.
Like that time, in the middle of reviewing an equation, when Matthew looked up to check if Jiwoong was following, he found him just... looking at him. Not at the notes. Not at the board. At him.
"Are you even listening?" Matthew said.
Jiwoong blinked slowly. "Sorry." A small pause. "You just have a very distracting face."
Matthew looked back down at his notes. "...The equation," he said flatly.
"Right." Jiwoong picked up his pen. "The equation."
Or that other time when Jiwoong had leaned across the table to point at something in Matthew's notes — close enough that Matthew instinctively leaned back — and hadn't moved away after.
"You're in my space," Matthew said.
"Am I?" Jiwoong glanced at him, unbothered. "Sorry."
He didn't move. Neither did Matthew.
It didn't stop there, either. Jiwoong was texting him all day, from a good morning message to a photo of his morning coffee, to a picture of his lunch. Matthew hated wasting time, hated getting distracted. And yet he found himself replying in the middle of his work schedule, sometimes just an emoji, or a simple ㅋㅋㅋ.
He was almost always at the same table with his friends. He had grown close to Taerae and Hao, and whenever Matthew joined them, they were usually already chatting or laughing about something. But the moment Matthew sat down, Jiwoong’s attention always shifted to him. He would ask about his day. About his job. Whether he had eaten yet. About university work, about the tutoring sessions. Matthew hated how all that attention made him feel.
Today, when Matthew joined his friends and Jiwoong, Hao was complaining about how boring his geology class was.
“That’s what you get for studying such a boring major,” Matthew joked as he sat down, sticking his tongue out at Hao.
“Ha, ha, ha,” Hao laughed dryly. “By the way, Matthew.”
“Hm,” Matthew replied without much interest as he opened a cereal bar.
“A guy from my class asked me for your Instagram, Yeonwoo.”
Matthew glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “Not interested.”
“Oh, come on, you don’t even know him.” Hanbin protested.
“Is he a good guy?” Jiwoong asked, eyes lingering on Matthew just a second too long, though he directed the question to Hao.
“He is,” Hao said quickly. “He’s also cute... just shy. He doesn’t really get the chance to talk to guys like Matthew.”
“Guys like me?” Matthew scoffed. “Like what?”
Hanbin laughed. “You don’t have to be so defensive. Hao means that you might seem… hard to approach.”
“Why?” Matthew asked, frowning. “I don’t get it.”
“It's because you're hot,” Jiwoong answered immediately, smirking “He’s probably just too shy to talk to someone hot, Matthew.”
Matthew stilled, the wrapper of his cereal bar crinkling faintly in his hands. He didn’t lift his eyes to look at either of his friends.
Jiwoong leaned a little, softer this time. “Honestly… I get why he’d feel that way..”
Across the table, Hanbin and Hao exchanged knowing glances, quietly chuckling at the silent sparring between them.
Matthew let out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes, but his chest fluttered just the same. “And why’s that?” he muttered, trying to sound annoyed.
Jiwoong leaned a little closer, a teasing glint in his eyes. “Because I also get nervous when you look at me,” he said, letting his gaze linger on Matthew.
For a split second, Matthew’s carefully maintained calm cracked —his chest fluttered and his ears heated—but he quickly forced himself to focus, pretending nothing had happened.
“Thanks, Hao, but I’m not interested.” he said composing himself. Hao opened his mouth, probably to protest, but Matthew shook his head slightly, cutting him off. “I have to go now,” he added, standing up and grabbing his bag.
Matthew moved so quickly that he didn’t notice Hanbin and Jiwoong exchanging a sly glance, Jiwoong’s smirk just a little wider than before.
୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ☆
By the time the weekend rolled around, Matthew found himself lounging on the sofa at home when Hanbin came out of his room, dressed casually but carrying a backpack.
“Hey,” Matthew greeted. “Are you going out?”
Hanbin took a moment before answering. Weird.
“Yeah.”
Matthew frowned slightly. “Where to?”
“Lunch. With Hao…” Hanbin adjusted the strap of his backpack on his shoulder. “And Xiaoting.”
Matthew sat up immediately. “Excuse me?”
Hanbin sighed. “I’m sorry, but Hao really likes her. And they’ve gotten kind of close.”
“You’re the worst friend,” Matthew said dramatically as he walked into the kitchen. “You never tell me anything anymore. There’s all this stuff happening and you don’t say a word to me.”
Hanbin followed him and leaned against the wall with a sigh. “Do you want to come with us?”
Matthew scoffed. “Of course not.”
“And that’s exactly why I didn’t tell you anything,” Hanbin replied, pushing himself off the wall and walking toward the door. Matthew followed him.
“I just don’t get it,” Matthew said. “So now you’re all friends?”
“And what’s the problem with that?” Hanbin asked while putting on his shoes by the door. “Xiaoting’s nice. And I think she’s bringing her kid, so… I don’t know. Sounds like a pretty nice Saturday plan, Matt.”
Matthew stood there in silence for a moment. Just before Hanbin stepped out, he spoke again.
“Isn’t it weird? I mean… Jiwoong’s son and his girlfriend?”
Hanbin sighed.
“It’s not weird, Matthew. I already told you, she’s nice. And Jiwoong hasn’t been anything but kind to us since he came back. Same as in high school, he was always nice to us… even when we were kind of losers.”
“Hey!”
“Come on, Matthew. You were obsessed with Pokémon and I had a bowl cut,” Hanbin said, and Matthew shifted awkwardly. “Look, I get that you’re hurt because he just disappeared and you felt abandoned, but you’re acting like he ignored you just to hurt you,” Hanbin said, rubbing his face. “Have you even tried putting yourself in his place?”
Matthew let out a breath that caught somewhere in his throat. “You know he texts me all the time? And he even reacts to my stories. He is flirting, Hanbin,” his voice was quiet, but the edge in it landed clean. “Why is he doing that if he has a happy family at home?”
Hanbin drew a slow breath. “If you want answers, talk to him. Not to me.”
Then he left, closing the door behind him and leaving Matthew alone with a strange, uncomfortable feeling in his chest. If Hanbin was his friend, why was he acting like this? Hanbin was supposed to be on his side. But the thought lingered in the back of his mind, unwelcome and irritating: maybe Hanbin wasn’t completly wrong.
Matthew pushed the idea away almost immediately. Jiwoong had disappeared without a word. He had ignored every message Matthew sent. Anyone would have been hurt by that. Anyone would have taken it personally.
A moment later, Matthew’s phone buzzed.
It was a photo of Jiwoong’s cat, curled up on what looked like a pile of freshly folded laundry.
Isn’t he adorable? Jiwoong wrote.
Something twisted in Matthew’s stomach.
He is, Matthew replied after a moment.
He stared at the screen for a few seconds, thinking about Hao, Xiaoting, and Hanbin having lunch together. About how easily Jiwoong seemed to fit into that whole situation. Before he could think better of it, he typed another message.
Are you busy today?
The typing bubble appeared almost immediately, disappearing and reappearing several times before Jiwoong finally replied.
Why?
Matthew hesitated for a second.
I want to go to the movies.
The typing bubble appeared again. It stayed there for a moment, disappeared, then came back before a reply finally arrived.
I’m really busy today :( but we can go another day!
Matthew let out a quiet breath through his nose.
It’s fine.
A moment later, another message from Jiwoong popped up.
We can find another date available!
Whenever you’re free!
Matthew stared at the screen, unsure how to reply. When no answer came, another message appeared.
I really want to go out with you, Matthew :((
Matthew kept staring at the screen, his chest tightened in a way he didn’t understand. Fuck it Hanbin and his so interesting plans, always friends with everyone. Fuck it Jiwoong and his fucking sad little faces.
He locked his phone and walked to his room, there was a report he still needed to finish for his ecology class, and if he focused hard enough on population dynamics and statistical models, maybe his brain would finally stop replaying that stupid message.
(It didn’t.)
୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ☆
Some days later, Matthew had just finished his shift at the convenience store when he stepped out, stretching his stiff shoulders. The street was quiet at that hour, the yellow light from the streetlamps pooling on the pavement.
He almost didn’t notice him at first.
Jiwoong was leaning against the wall of the store across the street, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket. When he saw Matthew, he straightened immediately, his face lighting up in that familiar, easy smile. He crossed the street and stepped in front of him.
“What are you doing here?” Matthew asked, frowning despite himself.
Jiwoong shrugged lightly. “Hanbin asked me to come pick you up. He said he couldn’t make it and told me to bring you this.”
He held out Matthew’s metro card. Matthew stared at it for a second before taking it, he had forgotten it that morning at home and Hanbin had said he’d stop by after Matthew’s shift to bring it.
Traitor.
“Thanks,” Matthew muttered, shoving the card into his pocket.
They started walking toward the bus stop together. For a moment, neither of them said anything. Matthew could feel Jiwoong glancing at him from the side, that same gentle curiosity he always had.
“So…” Matthew said eventually, trying to sound casual. “You’re not busy tonight?”
Jiwoong tilted his head. “Not really.”
“I mean… with everything going on. You must have a lot of responsibilities.”
Jiwoong blinked, clearly confused but still smiling. “Responsibilities?”
“Yeah, you know… life.” Matthew shrugged, looking ahead.
“You’re saying that? You’re the one studying, going to the gym, working part-time, and doing tutoring on top of that.” Jiwoong chuckled lightly.
Matthew let out a small, humorless laugh. “I didn’t realize you knew so much about my life.”
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re important to me,” Jiwoong said, soft and warm in a way that knocked Matthew a little off balance.
It shouldn’t make butterflies lift in Matthew’s chest.
But it does.
Matthew cleared his throat, quiet. “Well, the tutoring helps with my university credits,” he admitted, a little shyly. “And the job isn’t that big of a deal. I mostly use it to help cover the rent for the apartment with Hanbin. My parents still pay my tuition.”
Jiwoong nodded thoughtfully. “That’s still a lot.”
Matthew swallowed.
“Do you… do you have a job?” he asked, trying to sound casual. “I mean… I imagine there must be a lot of expenses with, um… your responsibilities and all that.”
Jiwoong raised an eyebrow, clearly puzzled, but answered anyway. “Well, I don’t think I have more expenses than most people,” he said with a small shrug. “For now I’m just focusing on university.”
He hesitated for a moment before adding, lowering his voice slightly.
“Actually… I’ll tell you a secret, okay?”
Matthew felt a knot form in his throat. Oh God. He’s going to say it.
“Sure,” Matthew said, his voice coming out tighter than he expected.
“A little less than a year ago, my grandmother passed away. She… left me her house in the countryside, and a few other things.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I sold the house, and that’s how I’ve been able to come back to university. So for now, I don’t really need to work.”
Matthew’s expression softened immediately.
“Oh. I’m really sorry, Jiwoong.”
Jiwoong gave a small shrug, though his smile was quieter this time. “It’s okay,” he said. Then he added, a little more softly, “And I promised it to her.”
Matthew glanced at him. “What thing?”
Jiwoong rubbed the back of his neck. “That I’d go back. To university, I mean. That I’d… start living my life again.” He let out a small, embarrassed laugh.
Matthew didn’t answer right away, still unsatisfied with something he couldn’t quite name.
“Doesn’t it feel weird, though?” he asked after a few steps. “Coming back to university at this point in your life?”
Jiwoong glanced at him. “Not really.”
“And the city?” Matthew continued quickly. “Doesn’t it feel strange being back here? I mean… do you still talk to your high school friends?”
Jiwoong was quiet for a moment. Then he shrugged, the motion easy.
“Not really. But I didn’t talk to that many people even back then,” he said. “That's why running into you and Hanbin again was nice.”
Matthew felt something twist in his stomach. Damn it.
They had reached the bus stop. Matthew kicked lightly at a loose pebble on the pavement before blurting out the question that had been bothering him for days.
“And… are you seeing someone?”
Jiwoong looked at him, surprised, then he nodded toward the street.
“Isn’t that your bus?”
Matthew turned just in time to see the bus pulling up to the curb. “Shit.”
He grabbed his backpack from Jiwoong, stepping toward the door as it opened.
Behind him, Jiwoong laughed softly. “Good night, Matthew.”
Matthew glanced back at him from the steps of the bus and muttered a quick good night in return. He dropped into the nearest seat as the bus pulled away from the curb. Through the window, he caught one last glimpse of Jiwoong standing under the streetlight, one hand raised in a small wave.
He looked away immediately.
୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ☆
At first, Jiwoong would ask Matthew in a text, “Working tonight?” and Matthew would reply yes or no. Over time, Matthew started sending his schedule directly: “Night shift tonight.” Jiwoong would respond with a teasing, “Noted, handsome ;)”.
After a few weeks, it became routine. Jiwoong wouldn’t just show up at closing, but sometimes an hour earlier. Some nights he would buy a cup of ramen and eat it quietly inside the store. Other times he would just grab a can of beer and wait on the benches outside, passing the time until Matthew finished his shift. Then he would walk with him to the bus stop, and they would chat about easy, inconsequential things—classes they liked and classes they hated, whatever show they were watching lately, the weather, small things like that.
Matthew liked it.
But he also found it torturous.
Being this close with Jiwoong was confusing. In a way, Matthew felt they were close, but he knew there was something he didn’t know. He was just too scared to ask directly.
All these feelings, he wouldn’t call it love. But he definitely liked Jiwoong. Matthew hated admitting that he had never gotten over his silly teenage crush. Puppy love, he’d told himself, yet it had never really gone away. If anything, it felt like those feelings had been locked away somewhere inside him, and seeing Jiwoong again had let them spill out all at once.
I just love how easy it is to talk to you, Matthew, Jiwoong said once while walking him to the bus stop. The words left an uncomfortable feeling in Matthew’s chest. Was it really that easy? Then why weren’t they talking about the real things? Jiwoong hadn’t opened up again since he mentioned his grandmother, and Matthew had noticed he never brought up Xiaoting either…
“I’m so tired, Matt. I’m so happy tomorrow’s Saturday so I can finally sleep in.”
Jiwoong stretched his arms and yawned, his voice pulling Matthew back to the moment.
Matthew glanced at him and laughed quietly. “Yeah, me too.”
Jiwoong seemed surprise “Uh? You’re free tomorrow?”
“Yeah…”
“And do you have any plans?”
Matthew thinks for a minute “Not really”
Jiwoong staps in front of him, smiling brightly “Let’s go out together, then, tomorrow."
“Tomorrow?”
“Yeah, we can go to the movies, finally.”
“Finally?”
Matthew felt a little stupid repeating Jiwoong’s words, but he couldn’t help wondering if Jiwoong remembered their promise.
“Yeah,” Jiwoong said. “I remembered a few weeks ago you said you wanted to go to the movies… and I’ve been wanting to make that happen ever since.”
Oh.
“And also…” Jiwoong continued, “your birthday is coming up, and I kind of remember I owe you a movie trip, right?”
Oh, so he did remember that promise.
Matthew stayed silent. They walked on in quiet, and when they reached the bus stop, Jiwoong spoke again.
“I want to watch Zootopia 2.”
Matthew laughed. “Really?” he asked while searching for his metro card in his backpack, which was why he didn’t notice the way Jiwoong’s eyes flickered with doubt, or how the tips of his ears were red.
“So… what do you say? Movies tomorrow?”
Matthew gulped and wet his lips. He wondered if saying yes would be weird, if it was really the right thing to do. But then he thought about Jiwoong’s smile, the easy way they talked, and his own heart racing at the mere possibility of a date with him.
When Matthew met Jiwoong’s gaze again, his eyes were bright, waiting for his answer.
Finally, he nodded slightly. “Sounds good.”
୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ☆
“I should have said no,” Matthew complains, putting on his coat by the door of his apartment.
Hao and Hanbin watch him from the sofa.
“I don’t get your problem,” Hao says, shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “Jiwoong is handsome, hot, and a genuinely good guy, what’s your issue with going on a date with him?”
“Please don’t talk with your mouth full, love,” Hanbin says, then sighs. “Remember, Matthew doesn’t know…”
Hao’s eyes widen in understanding. “Ah, he doesn’t know about…”
“Shhh,” Hanbin hushes him. “Let him figure it out on his own.”
Matthew rolled his eyes. “You know? I just love it when you talk like I’m not even in the room.”
“Just try to have fun, Matt,” Hanbin said. “Don’t overthink it, just enjoy yourself.”
Matthew sighed in response and left.
When he arrived outside the theater, Jiwoong was already there, leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone, looking effortlessly handsome. A moment later, Jiwoong glanced up, his gaze drifting over the crowd.
Something in Matthew’s chest stirred at the realization that Jiwoong was looking for him. Yeah, he definitely should have said no to this.
Matthew spun around on his heels.
“Hey!”
Jiwoong caught up to him in two quick steps and grabbed him by the elbow. “Where are you going, handsome?”
“Nowhere,” Matthew said, a little too fast. “I was just—looking for you.”
Jiwoong laughed softly, shaking his head. “Sure you were.” Before Matthew could think of something to say, Jiwoong lifted the tickets between his fingers. “Come on. We should go in before you decide to make another escape attempt.”
Matthew rolled his eyes, but followed him toward the entrance anyway.
They stopped at the snack bar. Jiwoong bought a soda and popcorn for both of them, asking for half butter, half caramel so they could share. He handed Matthew the tickets, and they walked toward their screen.
When they found their seats, Matthew’s phone buzzed.
A message from Hanbin: “How’s the date going?”
Matthew typed back quickly: “It’s not a date.”
Jiwoong glanced at his screen and raised an eyebrow. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah, it’s just Hanbin,” Matthew said, shrugging.
Jiwoong smiled. “I think it’s cool that you’re still friends… and roommates now.”
“Most of the time he’s annoying,” Matthew admitted, “but honestly, he’s my best friend. Don’t tell him, or it’ll go straight to his head.”
Jiwoong laughed. “I won’t say a word.”
Matthew kept talking without realizing how easily the words spilled out. “Same with Hao. He’s annoying, and I sometimes think about charging him rent for how much time he spends at Hanbin’s and my place… but he’s a good guy, and he loves Hanbin as much as Hanbin loves him.”
Jiwoong’s smile softened. “I’m glad you have friends like that.”
“What about you?” Matthew asked, suddenly curious. “I mean, what about your friends?”
Jiwoong’s smile softened. He popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth, like he needed a moment to think. “I don’t have many friends,” he admitted quietly.
“Really?” Matthew asked, genuinely surprised. “But… you were so popular.”
Jiwoong laughed, but it wasn’t mocking—it was gentle, almost tender. “Well, I was popular in high school, Matthew,” he said, shrugging, as if it didn’t mean much. “After I moved, I lost touch with most of the friends I had back then.”
Matthew felt a twinge in his chest. I know, he thought, remembering how Jiwoong had stopped talking to him for a while.
Jiwoong continued, still chewing slowly. “And then… things just got complicated, and it was hard to keep in touch with people.”
Matthew’s stomach twisted. He hadn’t realized how much he’d come across as distant—how cold he’d been. Seeing Jiwoong like this, alone and honest, made him feel a little guilty.
He tough in apologizing but when he opened his mouth to talk, the lights went of in the room and the screen turn on.
“I love movie teasers,” Jiwoong whispered, a grin in his voice.
Matthew reminded himself they could talk after the movie and let the thought drift for a moment.
As the film started, Jiwoong’s laughter rang softly beside him. Every few minutes, he leaned over to whisper comments about the movie, like a teasing remark about a cliché line. He nudged Matthew with his shoulder, prompting a quiet laugh. Matthew found himself genuinely laughing too, caught up in the easy rhythm of the moment. With each whisper, each grin, the tension from earlier melted away. By the time the credits rolled, he realized he hadn’t felt this light in a long time, sitting next to Jiwoong, laughing and sharing little reactions, the world outside seemed far away.
When they stepped out of the theater, they were still laughing as the crowd thinned.
“See? Zootopia is cinema,” Jiwoong said proudly.
Matthew chuckled. “Uh-huh.”
“No, don’t laugh! It’s a movie that deals with serious themes and doesn’t treat kids like idiots,” Jiwoong insisted, folding his arms slightly.
Matthew raised an eyebrow. “Do you watch a lot of… these kinds of movies? Kids’ movies?”
Jiwoong let out a dramatic scoff, laughing. “Pff, let me tell you, Zootopia is not a kids’ movie.” He paused, then grinned sheepishly. “But… actually, yeah. Lately it’s almost the only thing I watch.”
Matthew shifted uncomfortably, and Jiwoong glanced at him sideways.
“Do you want to grab dinner?” Jiwoong asked. “I know a place that…”
Matthew stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, grabbing Jiwoong’s arm and pulling him to the side.
Jiwoong blinked, caught off guard. “Uh… okay? What’s happening?”
Matthew exhaled sharply. “This is a date, right?”
Jiwoong’s lips curved into a small smile. “Well… yeah, I hope it is.”
Matthew ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “Then I don’t think this is okay.”
“What? Why?”
Matthew took a deep breath. “I don’t think it’s okay to go on a date if you have the kind of commitment that you already have.”
“Matthew, I’m not following,” Jiwoong said, raising an eyebrow, tilting his head.
“Okay, I want it to be subtle but… it seems like you want me to ask directly,” Matthew said, wetting his lips nervously. “Do you have an open relationship? Is it fine for you to see other people?”
Jiwoong blinked, then let out a short, surprised laugh. “What?… What are you talking about, Matthew?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” Matthew hesitated, then rushed on. “You have Xiaoting. And I don’t know if it’s really okay for us to be like this—going on a date, you flirting with me, sending me messages…”
Jiwoong’s brow furrowed, and he pressed a hand to his temple. “What does Xiaoting have to do with me flirting with you?”
“Don’t act like a fool,” Matthew said quickly. “I know you two are together. Everyone knows it since high school—”
Jiwoong interrupted, annoyed. “Matthew, are you really judging me based on… rumors?”
“Rumors?” Matthew asked, incredulous. “It’s not a rumor! I saw you!”
“You saw me?” Jiwoong asked, irritation rising.
“Yes!” Matthew said, words spilling out. “At the park… with your kid!”
“Stop,” Jiwoong groaned, rubbing his temples. “Matthew, please, just… stop.”
“But I just want to know! I don’t want to be doing something wrong, Jiwoong!”
Jiwoong’s frustration turned into exasperation. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing deeply. “Matthew, things are way more complicated than whatever you’re thinking.”
Matthew scoffed, trying to regain control of his voice. “Then… explain it to me! I really want to understand, Jiwoong”
Jiwoong hesitated for a moment, taking a deep breath. “Fine. Let’s find somewhere to sit… but I warn you, it’s a long story.”