Chapter Text
Roy hadn't lied to him. Truly, not much had changed. Jason still made them breakfast, Roy still woke up after him, in the afternoons they went their separate ways to run errands, sometimes staying at the apartment, and in the evenings they went on patrol together. They also had joint missions, like busting gangs and hunting criminals, but also going shopping or going for walks, which Roy had started to drag him on. It was nice, it felt natural.
But that wasn't all, because, as they'd both promised each other - they tried.
So although Jason cooked for them as always, now, instead of Roy sitting a little further away, he had Roy hugging him from behind, resting his chin on Jason’s shoulder, kissing his neck and temple. When they both relaxed on the couch watching TV or Jason reading a book, they always leaned against each other in some way. Most often, they simply touched shoulders, but sometimes Roy rested his head on Jason's lap, or Jason feeling more courageous, sat between Roy's legs and leaned his back against Roy’s chest. They often hold hands when leaving the apartment, and after patrols, sometimes linger on a rooftop somewhere to catch breath and simply gaze out at the city at night.
They fell asleep differently, but that was Jason's fault, because Roy never suggested he had the right to enter Jason's nest unless Jason invited him in first. It was sweetly irritating, but in the long run, Jason was glad Roy was so understanding. Jason wanted Roy's presence, of course he did. But there were days, more often nights, when he felt so bad about himself that he didn't want Roy to have to see it. Roy probably thought Jason simply needed space, and he never complained in the slightest, and Jason was glad he thought so. Most often, they fell asleep together on the couch, sometimes in the nest when Jason was having a better day, but there were also times when Jason, mumbling apologies, locked himself in the bedroom. Roy's only response was to reassure himself every morning that Jason was okay. Neither of them pressed the matter further. Roy knew Jason was broken on some level, and Jason preferred to let him guess rather than actually reveal all his ugliness, all his horrors. And though Roy knew most of what Jason had endured, Jason didn't want to ruin something that was still developing, something that was so good, with brutal details.
They didn't go any further than kissing, cuddling, and holding hands. It wasn't that Jason didn't want to, he did, but he wasn't sure what yet, and his lack of experience didn't help. Roy was patient, never pushing Jason any further than Jason himself initiated contact. And though Jason was a little apprehensive at first (he didn't think Roy would hurt him, simply because of his extensive experience, Jason expected Roy to need it), but quickly discovered that Roy needed not so much sexual touch as touch in general.
There was no way Jason could sit quietly—Roy was by his side in an instant. He sat down beside him sometimes just so he could take Jason's hand or rest his forehead on his shoulder. Jason loved playing with Roy's long red hair, often running his fingers through it when he woke up, while Roy was still asleep, just as Roy did with his when they fell asleep next to each other. Roy was simply clingy—as he himself admitted.
Jason had no comparison. He wasn't sure what a relationship should be like. He didn't know if he was doing everything right, if he was enough. But Roy seemed happy, even if, beyond the added contact, nothing had really changed between them (for Roy, because for Jason, even such small touches were a huge change, but he guessed that, considering what Roy did with his partners, their relationship was ridiculous in that regard). And Jason… Jason had never been so happy in his entire life.
Three weeks passed.
Three weeks, and Roy was asked to go on a mission by Kori, which kept him away for about a week.
"It's nothing serious, but Kori said they needed an archer, and she trusts me the most. Your support would be welcome too," Roy said.
The problem was, for the past few days, Jason had been keeping an eye on a new organization he was tracking, and it wouldn't be wise to disappear for a week while two of their bases remained undiscovered by Jason.
"You know I can't. Those bastards are still moving around.”
Roy nodded. He knew it perfectly well, after all, they were practically in this together.
"You want me to stay and help?"
Of course Jason wanted Roy to stay. But he had to be serious. His operation didn't require combat skills, not yet anyway. It was just about surveillance, and while it was more fun with Roy, Jason could handle it alone. He didn't know exactly what Kori's mission entailed, but Roy was needed as a soldier, an archer. Kori needed Roy more. And Jason couldn't let his foolish feelings get in the way when it came to his job. The well-being of others, mostly innocent civilians.
Sure, all that time they'd spent together here, practically cut off from the world, aside from kicking a few bastards' asses at night, had been great. But that's not how life works. People, even those who are together, can't always be together. Even if Roy is his boyfriend, even if he loves him, Jason has to get used to not having him around. And in his mental state, the sooner he does, the better.
"No need. You know nothing's happening right now," he replied, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "Kori needs you more."
Roy continued to stare at him for a moment, as if analyzing him, and Jason immediately disliked it. He frowned, and at his frown, as if Roy understood what he was doing, he suddenly shook his head. "Okey," he said.
Jason quickly realized he'd overestimated his abilities. Damn, he hadn't thought things were already this bad. It was pathetic that less than three months of living together had made even a single night alone so difficult. For the first few days, Jason's Omega was calmer than he was himself. Roy's scent still lingered in the apartment, and it wasn't so bad. To drown out the silence (was it always this quiet without Roy constantly talking?), Jason simply threw himself into work. After all, with Arsenal gone, Red Hood now had to beat up the bad guys for two. After five days, he finally managed to locate both of the organization's hideouts, which prevented him from traveling with Roy. Jason would never admit to anyone that he'd taken his swipe at the criminals for that too.
When he returned home from this mission, the sun was almost rising. He was exhausted and sore. He wasn't seriously injured, but at some point he'd been thrown out a window from who knows what floor and gotten a bit bruised. He stripped off his armor and clothes and stepped into the shower, rinsing off all the dirt and sweat. Jason changed into Roy's T-shirt and sweatpants, unable to resist sniffing them first. The scent was fading, and though Jason knew it would, the Omega, or whatever was inside him, finally began to pick it up too.
"Where is the Alpha?" Omega asked.
"Did he leave us? Why did he leave us? Why isn't he here? When will he come?"
"Did he leave because he doesn't want us anymore? Did we do something wrong? We were bad, and that's why he left us."
It was unbearable. As if Jason truly didn't have enough voices in his head to fight every damn day. That night he swore he had ever allowed Omega to see the light of day. It was supposed to help him, to complete him, and letting it off the leash was supposed to soothe Jason.
Jason was familiar with the physical pain Omegas go through. He had heat, not many compared to the fact that he should have had several a year since he was fifteen. His heats had actually started happening maybe three years ago, and they weren't regular at all, though they were getting better. Jason had already experienced this pain, learned to cope with it. However, the mental pain the Omega brought him was like a weapon designed specifically to defeat him. And it was so easy to lose yourself in it, so easy to give in.
"Alpha definitely found a better Omega," the voices continued, and they wouldn't stop.
It was stupid, so stupid, because Jason knew Roy would never do that to him.
"Alpha probably with them already," they continued.
"Alpha probably in their nest, because you wouldn't let him into yours."
“Gives them his knot.”
Roy wouldn't cheat on him. Jason knew that. He believed in Roy's feelings, saw the sincerity in his eyes every time he'd confessed his love thousands of times over the weeks. But the Omega wouldn't shut up.
"Why aren't you on my side?!" Jason wanted to scream. After all, they were one. Why couldn't the Omega accept his way of thinking?
"Our other gender is nothing more than us. But you have to consider that we reason a bit differently," Roy told him with a smile, as Jason once again became irritated by his Omega's neediness.
"That doesn't make sense."
"It does. Look, we take information from our surroundings, we're convinced by facts, and we learn from experience." Jason nodded. "And your Omega and my Alpha work the same way. Their reasoning system simply narrows to what interests them. For example… let's think." Roy thought for a moment. "Oh! Look, we're together, aren't we?" Jason blinked, a little confused, his cheeks burning a little, but nodded. "Exactly. How do you know that?"
"How do I know that? We established that."
"Exactly," Roy pointed at him. "We had a conversation, we established everything clearly, and your brain accepted the information that we were dating. That's your assurance. Your Omega or my Alpha don't have that."
"Okay…"
"Titles don't matter to them; that's something we humans have. They register affiliation based on scent. You see, I mark you, and your Omega calms down, feels a sense of belonging, knows you’re protected."
Jason grew even more embarrassed at those words, but there was something in it.
"That's why when I mark you my Alpha automatically treats you as my own and focuses on protecting you. That's why I got so upset when that guy in the park approached you."
"He was asking for directions, Roy."
"I know that," Roy laughed. "That's why I refrained from reacting, but my Alpha didn't. He'll feel threatened, he'll get angry, because that's his nature. It's up to me how I direct him and whether I allow him to act.”
Everything Roy said was wise and true. Jason had incredible self-control when he wanted to. And his Omega, kept in the shadows and suppressed for so many years, was even more under his control. Jason knew how to control his words and actions.
It's just a shame his thoughts couldn't be turned off.
So, yes, maybe Jason knew how not to cower when an Alpha growled at him or used her alpha voice. He could survive heat alone. He could fall asleep without a nest. He could defeat members of all genders in a fight.
But he couldn't stop thinking.
Jason’s will was strong, so whenever Omega started again, he'd reply:
"Shut up. It's not true."
Because he knew it wasn't true.
But he didn't know how much longer he could hold out, though.
The night before the week was up, Jason took all of Roy's blankets, sheets, and pillows from the couch and stuffed them into his nest. He spent almost an hour arranging everything. The Omega had subsided somewhat from the work and the residual scent that still lingered. For a moment, left him alone.
Jason fell asleep, hoping that when he woke up, Roy would be back home.
__________
The sound of his phone woke him. He fumbled for the device under the sheets and blindly answered, thinking it was Roy.
"Roy?" he asked.
"Jason." Oh shit, it wasn't Roy. Jason came to his senses instantly. "I'm shocked you answered."
"I thought it was Roy."
"I guessed."
After those words, the silence was heavy, and Jason wondered why he hadn't hung up yet. However, it dawned on him that the apartment was still empty, Roy hadn't returned yet, and focusing his mind on something else, even anger, would be better than waiting alone with his own thoughts.
"What do you want, Bruce?" he growled.
For a moment, Bruce didn't say anything, as if only now wondering why he'd called.
"I'm organizing a gala on Saturday."
What a surprise.
"No shit."
"It's a charity gala raising money for the orphanage that's reopening in June."
"And I'm supposed to care because? Come on, Bruce, you trying to show off or something?”
“I need your help.”
Okay, this is something new.
"No."
"Jason, hear me out."
"Whatever it is. My answer is no. Have you run out of children to serve? What about the golden boy and all the rest?"
"Dick is out of reach, and–"
"So you ran out of options and you remembered me, right? I'm not signing up."
"It's not about a lack of options. You are the best for the job."
Something in Jason's heart tightened. He felt suffocated.
"I'm hanging up…"
"These children could die."
Jason froze.
"What children?"
"The ones who will be transferred to the new orphanage once it's finished. This gala is a fundraiser, but also a chance for these children to show off and spend some time together."
"So they'll be there with all those rats? That's stupid.”
"It's advertising. And I don't make the rules."
"That's new."
"Jason."
Jason exhaled and counted to three.
"What kind of threat are we talking about?"
"A bomb or a sniper. We're not sure, but we're betting on a sniper. We figured the killer would prefer to avoid the chance of hurting someone” Bruce hesitated for a moment “important."
Jason grimaced at the term, but he understood what Bruce meant. Except…
"Why would anyone shoot children? It's usually the other way around."
Bruce sighed. "There were some serious bidding wars for the land where the orphanage is going to be built. Of course, I won, but a few people didn't like it, especially that one company. If they kill the children…"
"There won't be anyone to open the center for, the fundraiser won't be successful, adding to the chaos caused by the shooting, and the orphanage, having no right to exist, will resell the land."
"Yes. At least that's what the bandits think. I wouldn't resell it. I'd create something else with my own money if necessary, but they don't know that."
"It's logical. Anyone who isn't you would have to bail themselves out financially."
"Yes."
"And you want me there because?"
"Because I need someone in the crowd they don't know."
"Red Hood?" Jason was incredulous.
"No. Jason Todd. But under some other made-up name."
"Wait, am I understanding correctly? I'm supposed to show up to the gala in a suit and track down a sniper under a fake name?"
"Yes."
"Can't you hide these kids somewhere or something? It's a gamble."
"We'll get them out of the main hall as soon as it looks possible, but kids have their own show. A play or something."
"Can't you cancel it?"
"It would look suspicious, and besides, it would hurt their chances of getting a fundraiser."
"Right now, you're gambling with their lives! This orphanage won't be worth anything to them if they get shot and die."
"They won't because you'll be there."
Did Bruce just...
"You manipulative son of a bitch."
"You don't have to agree. It's just a request."
"And if not me, then who?"
Bruce didn't say anything.
"If not me, then who?" Jason repeated, almost shouting.
"Me, Damian and Tim will still be there. It'll just be a bit difficult to watch everything, surrounded by a crowd the whole time. Green Arrow will be there too. Well, Oliver Queen, actually."
Jason was surprised only for a moment. After all, Queen was just as filthy rich as Bruce. Just because they lived in different cities didn't mean his appearance would be strange. Bruce had figured that out well.
"That's not what I'm talking about. Who can take over my role?"
Bruce remained silent.
"I hate you."
Still silence. Jason had to think hard, needed to think, but the problem was, there wasn't really anything to think about.
"If I agreed, hypothetically, how could I get in? Will you get me a reporter's cover or something? Do you think people wouldn't notice? They're all big shots, they know each other inside and out. I'd stand out like a black sheep.”
And it wouldn't be the first time, Jason wanted to add, but bit his tongue.
"No, we have a slightly different cover."
"Oh yeah?"
"You could go as Roy Harper's accompanying person."
Jason was speechless. What the actually fuck? He meant, yes, Roy was Oliver's adopted son, and although they hadn't spoken in a while, and Roy hadn't been attending any galas or parties for a while, unlike Jason, he still existed, not dead. And since Oliver himself would be there, it wouldn't be so strange if his adopted son showed up too. A little strange, yes, but tolerable.
There was just one big problem.
"Roy would never agree to that," he replied categorically.
Roy's relationship with his father might not have been as messed up as Jason's, but still. Roy didn't like the press and gossip; they'd hurt him too much already. They'd tried to ruin too much of his life. His sex life, his drug addiction, his long rehab—they weren't afraid to gossip about anything. His sudden appearance at the gala, would probably also stir up a lot of rumors. And the fact that he'd show up in the company of someone as unworthy as Jason didn't help.
"I was hoping you'd at least ask him."
"Oh, and I'm supposed to be the one who talked him into it? No fucking way. Listen, old man, play with me all you want, I didn’t care anymore. But stay the fuck away from Roy, have you heard me?"
Suddenly, Jason began to wonder if this was all just some stupid coincidence, or if Dick or one of the Bats had told Bruce about him and Roy and the whole thing was a setup. The mere thought of that possibility sent a wave of fury through him.
"Don't call me again."
Jason hung up, and only the fact that Roy might want to call him stopped him from throwing the phone against the wall and shattering it into tiny pieces.
__________
"To your apartment?" Kori asked. She was kind enough to offer Roy a ride.
"Actually, to Jason's."
"Did you stay with him permanently?"
"No. Just those three months..." And suddenly Roy understood what Kori meant. The new month started three days ago. Roy's apartment had been ready for his return for three days. He hastily dug out his phone, which had been practically on silent for the past week, and searched his messages. Yes, there was a message from the landlord saying Roy could now move back in, with a polite note: she was about to raise the rent almost twice. Roy winced involuntarily, picturing her squeaky voice in his head as he read the message.
He could go home. He could move out of Jason's place. Damn it. Roy hadn't thought about that, not really. I mean, he knew at first it would be difficult for him to move out, because living with Jason was like a fairy tale, but there was still that ounce of reason inside him that told him not to overreact and not to overstay his welcome. And then they became a couple. Did it change anything? For Jason? Did Jason want him to move out? Roy didn't, but it wasn't about him. They might have been friends for a long time, but they'd only been a couple for about a month, and Roy knew that a month was theoretically too soon for a move-in, but…
"I have to get my stuff," he muttered.
"Did something finally happen between you two?" Kori asked, because of course she had. They'd been so busy this week that conversations about their personal lives had been practically nonexistent, but now everything was over.
Roy had no idea how to answer that. Technically, Jason hadn't said anything about wanting to keep their relationship a secret. However, they hadn't even met one of the Bats until a month ago, so basically no one knew about it. Would Jason mind if Roy told Kori? Roy had no idea. But he knew one rule: when you're not sure if you should say something, it's best to keep your mouth shut.
Just as Roy was about to lie, he clearly waited too long to answer, because Kori beat him to it:
"Shall we go get something to eat? Will you call Jason? I'm hungry and I'd like to see him, it's been so long."
Roy smiled involuntarily. He mentally thanked Kori for her mood-reading abilities. He dialed the number.
Jason answered almost immediately.
"Roy," he said.
"Yeah, it's me." Roy laughed.
"Are you back already?"
"Actually, I'm back. I'm in Gotham. Kori dropped me off. We want to grab something to eat, and Kori wants to meet you. Will you join us? At that pizzeria near the park?"
"I'll be there in five."
And he hung up.
Well, that was quick. Roy considered that Jason might have some reservations, especially if he didn't want to reveal their relationship just yet, but apparently he needn't have worried.
"He'll come," he informed Kori.
"Wonderful. I have so much to tell him."
They sat down at a table outside and ordered, because Roy knew exactly what Jason would order. The screeching of tires reached their ears just as the waitress left. Jason parked across the street and took off his helmet, looking around for them. Roy stood up so Jason could locate them and waited for him.
Jason walked through the streets at such a speed that for a moment Roy thought he was going to be hit by a car.
And then he felt like he'd been hit by a car himself, as Jason plowed into him with full force.
During the short time he waited for Jason, Roy wondered what his stance would be. Would he pretend, or would he try to hide their relationship from Kori? Well, the mystery was solved. Because there was nothing platonic about the way Jason hugged him, the way he buried his face in Roy’s neck and inhaled his scent.
"Oh, you missed me," Roy teased. He was surprised, but also so undeniably happy. His Omega, Jason, was by his side again. Roy would be lying if he said the separation hadn't taken its toll on him. It had, he even panicked a little, but he knew he had to do it, otherwise he wouldn't be able to tear himself away from Jason at all. Jason didn't respond, but the way he snuggled closer to him said it all. "I missed you too, Jaybird." Roy patted his head.
"Oh, you're so adorable," Kori murmured, and at the sound of her voice, Jason pulled away from Roy as if stricken.
"Hey Kori."
"Hey Jason. I thought we'd be boring you with this mission, so glad I found a better topic to talk about. Has Roy finally gotten his act together?"
"Getting his act together?" Jason repeated, looking at Roy as he took his seat.
Roy sighed. "Maybe I had some concerns about moving in with you, and Kori was nearby."
"He panicked a lot, I tell you. He was terrified he'd do something you didn't like and you'd hate him forever."
"Oh yeah?" Jason muttered with a smirk.
Okay, Roy was the loser in this comparison. That didn't mean he wouldn't at least try to defend his honor.
"I didn't say that."
"Maybe not word for word," she admitted. "But it all revolved around how much you loved him and how much he didn't love you and how unhappy you were because of it." Roy buried his face in his hands. "What if he doesn't like Alphas? He asked me. I told him that wasn't an option, and you know what? I was right."
"What do you mean by that wasn't an option?" Jason said indignantly.
"I don't know." Kori shrugged. "It was kind of written all over your face. I told Roy that—"
"No," Roy interrupted suddenly. "Don't tell him that."
"Why not?" Kori asked.
"Exactly why?" Jason added.
"Trust me," he said to Jason. "Kori, I beg you, stop embarrassing me. It worked, okay? That's what matters."
Kori smacked her lips, but she didn't seem to want to tear Roy down, so he sighed with relief.
"Okay," Jason began. "Tell me what happened in Star City."
__________
As soon as they crossed the threshold, Jason pushed Roy against the door and kissed him. Roy hadn't expected such haste, but he returned the kiss enthusiastically, placing his hands on Jason's hips. God, how he loved those hips. They only broke apart when they were out of breath. Jason rested his forehead on Roy's shoulder and breathed heavily.
"I dealt with that organization," Jason panted.
Roy smiled because only Bats could think about work and violence, or work that involved violence in general, at times like these.
"I knew you could handle it baby." Roy felt Jason tremble at the praise. He knew Omegas like praises, Jason was especially sensitive, and Roy exploited that as much as he could.
"Fuck you," Jason snorted, because he knew too.
"Maybe later," Roy grinned, but when Jason lifted his head and looked at him that way, his throat went a little dry. "I need to shower and clean up my gear, we're both in pretty bad shape."
Jason reluctantly pulled away. "Sure," he muttered, and Roy immediately knew something was bothering him.
"Is something wrong?" He ran his hand over Jason's cheek, and Jason immediately succumbed to the touch.
"I missed you," Jason choked out. Roy knew how much it cost Jason to admit it out of spite. Jason didn't even look at him.
"I miss you too." Roy stepped forward and kissed his forehead.
They moved to the living room so Roy could grab some clean clothes, pausing to take in the utter emptiness of the couch.
"Did you do laundry?" he asked, since there wasn't even half a blanket on the couch. It was a bit strange for an Omega to get rid of residual scent when he was alone, but that was just an assumption. For Jason, it might have been nothing.
Roy rummaged through the dresser where he kept his clothes. There wasn't much to choose from (maybe Jason really was doing a huge load of laundry?), but he managed to find a T-shirt, pants, and underwear. When he turned around, he found Jason staring at the ground. He seemed unsure, and that immediately alerted Roy.
"Jaybird?" he asked, approaching him.
"They're in my room," Jason replied, almost in a whisper. For a moment, Roy didn't understand what he was talking about. "My Omega gave me a hard time. Sorry. I'll bring everything back right away." Then it clicked.
"Oh Jaybird," Roy said, hugging him instantly. "Sure baby. No rush." His heart melted, but a form of anger also stirred. His Omega had been here alone for so long, Roy hadn't been there, and Jason missed him. Two conflicting emotions warred within Roy. One part was happy that his Omega needed him, the other angry that he'd made him miss him.
"That stupid game show you're watching starts in teen minutes," Jason said, pulling away from Roy. "Hurry up, you'll make it. I'll make us some tea."
Roy gave him a quick kiss on the lips and nodded.
When he returned, toweling his damp hair, Jason was talking to someone on the phone. Well, maybe talking was an understatement, meaning he was talking to a family member, probably Dick. Jason collapsed onto the couch as soon as he saw Roy.
"I've made myself clear. I won't be taking calls from either of you for another week." He looked at Roy. "And I don't give a fuck if this will be your last phone call ever, so if you want to die, call Tim or someone else." With that, Jason hung up.
Roy put his arm around him, Jason threw the phone onto the armchair, and leaned his weight against Roy.
"What did Dick do to upset you so much?"
Jason remained silent, but Roy could see he was struggling to tell him. Roy gave him time, and Jason finally sighed in defeat.
"Bruce called me this morning."
That's news. Wait a minute.
"You answer?"
Jason shifted nervously in his arms. "I thought it was you," he muttered.
"Jaybird."
"Never mind. But yes, I answered."
"And what did he want?"
Jason told him the entire conversation, about the assignment Batman had for him. About the gala, the sniper, and the children. Roy admitted it was a particularly shitty move, blackmailing Jason with the puppies' safety, especially when Bruce knew Jason was an Omega. There was so much calculation behind it that Roy wanted to get up, go to Wayne Manor, and punch Batman in the teeth. He told Jason that too.
Jason smiled slightly at the insults Roy was hurling at his father, but Roy still saw the tension in him.
"I understand you don't agree with this; you shouldn't feel guilty."
"I don't feel guilty," Jason admitted. "Well, I would feel a little, but that's not all." He sighed. "If it were just about my pride and discomfort, I think... I'm afraid I would swallow that."
Roy hadn't expected anything less from him. Roy had never met anyone in his entire life who cared more about the weak and the underprivileged. Especially children. However, that meant that what ultimately tipped the scales and made Jason ignore even the safety of children had to be something serious.
Roy waited until Jason said:
"He wanted you to come too. I was supposed to be your accompanying person."
Okay. Roy hadn't expected that. He hadn't appeared in public as Roy Harper in… he didn't even know how long, probably since rehab.
"I told him to piss off and hung up. And since noon, his smaller army has been torturing me."
"I don't know what to tell you, Jaybird."
"Don't say anything. I didn't want to bring it up at all, thinking I'd get over it. But I'm still so angry, and I figured you'd notice, and I didn't want any misunderstandings. There was no point."
The game show was over for Roy. Now his thoughts were wandering. He wondered if Ollie knew about this, about Bruce's proposal. Or maybe they'd worked it out together? No, probably not. Ollie probably didn't want him by his side, not in civilian clothes, not at events that might damage his reputation.
When was the last time Roy'd seen him? Since he'd moved to Gotham, probably not at all. Dinah called him like once a month to check on him. Roy didn't know how much of it was concern and how much of it was making sure he wasn't high again, but at least she tried. Oliver didn't call at all.
Roy wondered what kind of face he'd make if Roy showed up. All dope in a nice suit with Jason by his side.
"I thought I told you to forget about it," Jason chided. "I hear you thinking."
"You know, Jaybird, maybe it's not…"
"If you say: ,bad idea’, I'll punch you." Roy closed his mouth. "I knew it would be better not to mention it."
"No, I'm glad you told me."
Jason rolled his eyes. "Of course you are."
"This is about the puppies. Innocent children."
"No, Roy. This is about us. About you. Bruce will find someone else for the job."
"Someone who definitely won't be as effective as us."
Jason didn't comment.
"I'm just saying," Roy began cautiously. "If you wanted me to, I'd go for it."
Jason turned his head so quickly that Roy was afraid he'd hurt himself. "You can't be serious."
"Actually, I think so."
"Do you know what this involves?"
"Cold food, pointless conversations, and a few articles in the gossip magazines at the end of the day?"
"Roy, you shouldn't push your boundaries because you think it's your duty. The kids will be fine. I'm not irreplaceable."
Roy didn't like that tone.
"You're the best," Roy said with complete conviction. "And from what I understand, we're the best chance of keeping these kids safe. Just don't think of it as a task Bruce assigned."
"But he'll still be there."
"Yeah," Roy sighed. "And Ollie too. I wonder if he remembers what I look like?"
"That wasn't funny."
"I know, it's sad. But so what? Listen, Jaybird, I've heard so many nasty things about myself in my life, lies and truths, that it really doesn't bother me anymore. Especially from strangers. I've grown up. I don't even read the newspapers. Let them write what they want," Roy thought for a moment. "And if my presence spoils Ollie's mood a bit, maybe it's worth going just for that?"
Jason was silent for a long time.
"Wouldn't that really bother you?" Jason said after so much time that Roy had already gotten back into the game show.
"What?"
"They'd write about us too, you know?"
Roy knew about it. Damn, he hadn't really thought it through. He should have known Jason wouldn't want to be described in the newspaper as "Roy Harper's next adventure," "Who's the Mystery Man?" and etc. even under a false name.
"I understand you're not happy with that," Roy said. "I just wanted to make it clear that you don't have to be upset on my behalf. If you decided to go, I would go with you. Your decision is yours."
Jason frowned. "What are you talking about?"
"Well, being with me is never good for that person's image. I'd tarnish your reputation, even if it was false from the start."
Jason looked at him as if he'd grown a second head.
"Roy, I mean, I'd be the one to harm you."
Roy blinked. "What?"
"You know, I'm nobody. A guy from nowhere, not very pretty by your side, I mean, you're capable of better."
"What?" Roy repeated, a little panicked. Had Jason really said what he'd heard? "You're not serious."
Now Jason blinked. "Of course I am. Listen, I know it's uncomfortable. Not only would you be appearing in public for the first time in a while, but with me? I'd only make it worse."
Roy couldn't believe his ears.
"Jason Peter Todd, stop right there." Jason's eyes widened comically. "Have you lost your mind? How can you say that?"
Jason's face hardened. "But it's true. I’m poor at image-building and bragging about the newspaper."
"You're the best bragging material anyone can have," Roy said indignantly. Jason looked away. "Oh no, no." Roy cupped his face in his hands and turned it back to himself. "No, look at me. Jaybird." He waited until Jason finally did. "You're the kindest, smartest, most beautiful person I know, and anyone, I mean EVERYONE, would be thrilled to have you as their partner, you hear me?"
"I hear you," Jason said, unconvinced.
"But you don't believe me," Roy said. "Why don't you believe me? Have I ever lied to you?"
"No," Jason replied after a moment.
"Exactly. And I never will."
God. Roy knew Jason had a bit of low self-esteem, but how could he say such nonsense? He had a father figure complex and a family complex in general, but if anything was certain in his life, Roy thought it was that Roy loved him. He thought Jason knew how important he was to him, how much he meant to him.
"I love you," Roy said.
"I know."
"Do you believe me?"
"Yes?"
"Then why are you saying such stupid things?" Roy felt like crying; seeing Jason like this, so uncertain, was heartbreaking.
"Omega feels neglected. He doesn't know he belongs to us. We have to convince him. Prove our devotion to him," Alpha shouted.
"I don't know," Jason muttered, finally looking at him. "I felt… I'm just screwed up, sorry, it's not your fault."
"It's totally my fault if my partner has any doubts about my feelings."
"I have no doubts, Roy." Jason bit his lip. Roy was ready to argue further, but then Jason added, "Not to you."
Roy's brain processed what he'd heard. If Jason knew how much Roy loved him, but he was still uncertain… Oh, he was insecure, right? Of himself as a partner.
Roy had a new mission.
He let go of Jason's face and grabbed both of his hands.
"Do you know how much I love your hands?" He placed a tender kiss on them. “I love how they cook for me, how they run through my hair, how they intertwine with mine when we walk.”
Jason looked like he was wavering between running and escaping, but Roy continued.
"I love your arms." He tenderly ran his fingers over them. "I love how strong they are, how they embrace me, how they protect those who can't protect themselves."
Roy cupped Jason's face again.
"I love your beautiful face. Your sharp mind." Roy kissed Jason’s forehead. "Those beautiful eyes." He ran his thumbs just below them. "Those cheeks that blush so charmingly." He kissed them too. "And those lips, god, those lips." He leaned in so close that they were millimeters apart. "Those beautiful lips that insult me so beautifully, tease me and tell me they miss me." He kissed them tenderly and quickly. "Which kisses me so amazingly."
"Roy."
Roy's hands slid down to Jason's neck. "I love your neck, your beautiful scent." He placed a kiss just above Jason’s mating gland and heard a shaky sigh escape Jason's lips.
"Roy, stop."
"I love your waist." He guided his hands there. "And that abs, oh god, that abs, because of course all your shirts have to look like that on you, right?" Roy smiled, looking at Jason, his eyes wide and glassy, his mouth slightly parted. Roy didn't think much of it; he slid down the couch and knelt on the floor so he was between Jason's legs. From this angle, it was easier to kiss his stomach. Roy's hands moved to Jason's hips. "I told you how much I love those hips. I definitely did." He placed a kiss where he expected his hipbone to be. It was a little difficult because of the clothes, but that didn't matter now. He slowly moved his hands down until they rested on Jason's thighs.
"Roy," his name fell from Jason's lips in a shaky sigh.
For a moment, Roy was afraid he'd overstepped his bounds, but as soon as he looked up, the sight that greeted him made him instantly hard. Jason was flushed all the way to his neck and ears, his eyes slightly closed, and his chest moving erratically. Roy's heart skipped a beat. Without breaking eye contact, he kissed first one thigh, then the other through pants.
"I dream about those thighs, you know that?" He slowly ran his hands over them. "I dream about how tightly they wrap around my waist, how they strangle me when I…"
"Roy." The name had long since stopped being a reprimand; now it sounded more like a plea.
"Yes, sweetie?" Roy grinned. Jesus, if Jason looked like this after a few kisses and kind words, Roy could only imagine what he looked like after…
"I want you closer."
Roy complied immediately, lifting himself onto his shoulders and kissing Jason with as much passion as he could muster. He wanted to convey all the desperation and feeling he felt. He wanted to back up his words with action. When they broke apart, panting heavily, Jason's hand, which had tangled in Roy’s hair during the kiss, suddenly exerted pressure and pulled him down. The movement wasn't forceful; Roy was simply surprised, which was why he found himself back on his knees so easily.
Roy's mind was racing, still replenishing its oxygen supply, but when he looked at Jason, into his eyes, and saw nothing but pure desire, he felt the haze of his newly regained clarity return.
Jason loosened his grip and ran his fingers through Roy’s hair. Jason explained everything before Roy could ask.
"Now I want to you closer here."
Everything in Roy short-circuited. His mind was processing whether he had heard correctly or was imagining things. But the evidence was clear. Jason's pupils were dilated and his breathing was ragged, his hand gently pushing Roy's head down, the scent heavenly, spicy-sweet, full of lust, and when Roy looked, yes. The bulge in his pants was already fucking visible. And in that moment, Roy saw that all his blood had also flowed south.
He wanted to do it right then and there, the moment he heard the request. Rip off Jason's insulting pants and swallow him whole at once. Jason's comfort had always been more important than any desire, though.
"Are you sure?" he asked, unable to keep the hope from his voice.
Jason nodded uncertainly.
"I need words, Jaybird."
Jason seemed a little embarrassed. He looked away for a moment. "If you want..."
"Jaybird, baby. I could spend the rest of my life kneeling here before you with your cock in my mouth." A new wave of spicy scent filled Roy's nostrils, and he almost moaned at that. "Don't worry about me. I'm asking if you want this."
"It's your fault." Only Jason could make compliments sound like slander. "Take responsibility."
Roy leaned in and kissed Jason's bulge through his pants. He felt it shiver beneath him, just from that, from such gentle contact.
"Answer me nicely, Jaybird," Roy murmured. "Do you want your cock in my mouth or not?"
Jason groaned, then said, "Yes."
Roy needed nothing more. He placed a few more kisses on Jason's clothed erection before his fingers moved to the waistband of his pants. "Can I?."
"Please."
Roy slowly began to pull the material down to his calves to have better access to Jason. Roy kissed and licked the insides of his thighs, and Jason literally squirmed under his touch. At one point, Roy gritted his teeth probing a little further, and Jason whimpered. Roy immediately backed away and kissed the spot in a gesture of apology. He intended to memorize Jason's every reaction, to examine him for the slightest touch. Roy would discover everything Jason loved and please him until he collapsed from exhaustion. But maybe not now.
The proximity of his face to the scent glands at Jason's crotch didn't help his concentration; the scent was incredibly intense, practically begging for Roy to lick them clean and sink his teeth into them. Only Jason didn't like being bitten. Roy knew he'd never do it. He limited himself to a slow, long lick. Jason's boxers were soaked; Roy could feel it, see it, and the Alpha inside him was swelled with pride that it was all Roy's doing.
"Can you feel how wet you are, Jaybird?" Roy murmured, pulling away slightly. He needed to catch his breath if he didn't want to get carried away, but talking to Jason was always a good substitute. "You're leaking. Can you feel it? Because I can feel it."
A long moan escaped Jason's lips, and Roy knew he couldn't wait. He hooked his fingers into Jason's boxers. "I'll get rid of them now, okay?"
Jason nodded, but seeing Roy waiting for a verbal answer, he said, "Yes, yes, please."
"Very good," Roy praised, and slid Jason's underwear down. The wet material was sticky and obscene. Roy really had to try to stay even halfway lucid, because total consciousness was out of the question.
Jason's cock shot out and slapped his belly. Head was leaking, just like his hole. Roy's patience had run out.
"How is it possible that every part of you is so damn perfect?" he asked, but didn't wait for an answer. He simply swallowed him whole.
If anything good had come from Roy's past relationships, it was that he now had enough experience to give Jason the best blowjob of his life. And the first, something in Roy’s brain reminded him. Oh god, indeed. Roy was his first; the Alpha inside him grunted in approval, making him even more determined.
Roy swallowed Jason deeply and furiously. When he needed to catch his breath, he focused on the head, sucking fiercely, as if planning to suck Jason's soul out. His hands caressed his balls, his fingers itching to touch Jason's soaking hole. He must have felt so empty. Except they hadn't agreed on anything, and now Jason couldn't fully answer Roy soberly. Well, they'd have to save penetration for next time. It wasn't long after Roy'd dived in again when Jason's thighs tightened around him, and Roy groaned at the contact. Roy wanted nothing more now than for Jason to crush his head. Jason whimpered above him, his hand tightening in Roy's hair.
"Roy," Jason gasped, and god, that was the only way Roy wanted to hear his name from now on. "Roy."
Roy understood that Jason was trying to let him know he was close, he could feel it too, so he dove deeper. This was how Jason would come deep in his throat now; it would be a sin to let him do anything else. Roy looked up, and as their eyes met, Jason let out one last long moan that sounded like a sob and came straight down Roy's throat.
Roy waited politely until Jason stopped twitching before releasing his cock with an obsessive smack. Jason was no longer looking at him, his body completely relaxed, his head tilted back. Roy rose from his knees and sat down beside him. He guessed it was okay, but he needed to see Jason's face, needed to know he was okay.
Jason's eyes were closed, mouth open. He was gasping for breath, and didn't move an inch. Roy longed to hug him, to rest his hands on his cheeks, but not everyone liked being touched after sex, and Roy hadn't yet seen what Jason liked, so the fact that Roy, without affection after sex, felt like he was about to fall apart didn't matter. He waited patiently.
He had no idea how much time had passed, but finally, Jason's eyelids fluttered open. He was still that charming red on his cheeks and neck, and when his head turned to Roy, Jason finally looked at him with those beautiful blue eyes… eyes that, as it turned out, were full of tears, and Roy mentally scolded himself for only now noticing that Jason's cheeks were wet. Roy panicked a little. There was nothing alarming about the smell, but what if he had hurt Jason and Jason hadn't told him?
Jason interrupted his worries.
"That was… intense."
Some of the tension instantly left Roy.
"Can I touch you?"
Jason looked at him as if offended by the question, but eventually gave in and agreed. Roy immediately cupped his face and began wiping the tears from his cheeks with his thumbs. Jason seemed embarrassed by the activity, or his own reaction, because he began babbling. "I don't know what happened." His own hand came up to wipe his eyes, as if he didn't want Roy to have to. "It was so much, and I just didn't understand, and my body suddenly… felt so warm, and I couldn't breathe, and something finally gave way, and like…" Roy noticed that, along with Jason's explanation, new tears were beginning to form in his eyes. "Oh my." And judging by Jason's reaction, he noticed it too. "I don't know what's going on. Like, I've never… never had this happen. I mean, I've never had anything like this at all, but when I've done it myself, I've never reacted like this. God…"
"Easy, Jaybird, it's normal, nothing's happening."
"I don't understand. Why can't I calm down?" Roy must have looked worried, which Jason misinterpreted because he started explaining again. "It's not your fault, it was good, I mean, I liked it, really. I don't know what's happening to me."
"Shh, calm down." Roy began releasing calming pheromones, hoping it would help. "Everything's okay. You're here and I'm never going away. Are we going to take this off completely, okay? This can't be comfortable." It took Jason a moment to realize Roy was referring to his soaked underwear. Roy helped him slide them down his legs and put the soft sweatpants back on. Jason was still wet, so sooner or later everything would get dirty anyway, and it would be best for Jason to take a shower now, but Roy didn't want Jason to think he was shooing him away, especially now that he was so emotionally exposed. Under other circumstances, Roy would have gladly licked him dry, but he didn't want to push Jason further than he could handle at once.
"You did so well. You were so good to me," Roy repeated like a mantra, hugging Jason tightly to his chest. Luckily, it turned out Jason liked to cuddle too, which strangely pleased Roy immensely. He slowly stroked his head, waiting for Jason to calm down a bit.
They sat there for a while, but Roy wouldn't trade the activity for anything. It just felt so good to hold Jason in his arms, knowing he was also gripping Roy’s shirt so tightly.
"Okay, that was humiliating," Jason said as he pulled away from Roy.
"Don't you dare say that. It's all your emotions, and they're good."
"Roy, I literally cried."
"A partner crying during sex is a compliment as long as it's from pleasure. If you cried because I gave you such a bad blowjob, well, we could worry about that."
Jason's lips twitched slightly, and Roy felt like he'd won the fucking Olympics.
"Because it was good, right? Because that's the impression I got, but if you have any complaints…"
"Oh god, shut up," Jason grumbled, looking away.
"Does that mean yes?" Roy teased, cupping Jason's jaw, forcing him to look at him.
"It wasn't bad."
"Oh, that's all? Wasn't bad?" Roy grinned like a fool, knowing it.
"You know, I have nothing to compare it to, so if I were you, I wouldn't get too carried away."
"It'll be hard. Just the fact that it's you makes me happy. That I can do this with you." He kissed his nose, but when he pulled away, a hint of worry flickered in Jason's eyes. "Something happened?"
"I should too, you, oh my god, I'm terrible," Jason sputtered.
"Jaybird, what's going on?"
"I should reciprocate," he finally managed, looking pointedly at Roy's crotch. His erection had subsided a bit, but he still had a semi-erection.
"Hey, relax. You don't have to. There's no obligation in something like this. You should never do anything just because you think you should. Do you hear me?"
"But you..." God, Jason looked so sad. Why did he care so much? Roy wasn't angry, he wouldn't have mentioned it.
"I sucked you off because I wanted to, not because I expected you to reciprocate," Roy said with all the certainty he possessed.
"Yes, because you're my partner, a good partner..."
"Jaybird." But Jason didn't seem to hear him at all.
"And I'm not. But I can be, I really can." Jason stood up before Roy could react and a moment later was kneeling before Roy. Everything inside Roy was sounding alarm bells. Jason grabbed the waistband of his pants. "I can really be good to you, I promise." That was the last straw, though Roy knew he'd reacted too late. His hands instantly tightened on Jason's, stopping him from moving.
"I promise," Jason whimpered. He whimpered—that was his reaction to Roy stopping him. Jason thought Roy was holding him back because he didn't think he could handle it. Holy fuck. Roy wanted to scream.
"I know Jaybird, I know," Roy assured him. He slid off the couch, kneeling beside Jason, still holding his hands, afraid of what he might try.
"Then let me. I can handle it. I mean, I've never done this before, but I'll try, I promise."
"I'm sure it'll be wonderful, Jaybird. I'm sure it'll be wonderful because it's you." Jason seemed to calm down instantly, and Roy already hated himself for the next words, but he had to say them. "But not today." Jason looked devastated. "Another time, okay?"
"But you didn't come."
"That's nothing."
A moment of terrifying silence, and then suddenly:
"You don't want me anymore, do you?"
Roy felt those words physically. Like someone had shot his heart out with a fucking machine gun.
"No, no, no, baby. I always want you, you know that, right?" Roy pressed their joined hands to his chest, to his heart. "I'll always want you. I'll never want anyone the way I want you, do you hear?"
But Jason didn't seem to hear.
"Of course you don't want me. I'm useless. I can't even suck a cock."
After that sentence, Roy knew Jason's Omega had taken full control. Roy knew Jason knew sex wasn't essential to Roy; Jason would never measure his worth in Roy's eyes with something like that.
But what caused it? Because Jason was clearly upset. Had something happened while Roy was gone? Well, he won't find out now anyway. Right now, he had to calm Jason down.
There were many options. The easiest was to give an order; in that state, Jason would surely obey. The problem was, Roy didn't want Jason to obey. He wanted Jason to tell him what was happening. Mere words didn't reach Jason, because it wasn't Jason he was talking to right now.
"My beautiful, wonderful Omega," he whispered. "My poor, hurt love, what's going on? What are you so afraid of? Please tell me."
An alarming silence and suddenly:
"I'll try harder, I promise. Just please don't give up on me. Don't abandon me."
"I'll never, oh, never abandon you. Never."
Abandonment.
It had to be a combination of Roy's departure, Jason's nightmares, and something else, something powerful. Something that makes Omegas feel especially vulnerable and emotionally open.
Wait.
And then it dawned on Roy that they hadn't discussed yet, another very important thing in their relationship.
When was Jason's next heat?