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The alarm rings at 6:45am sharp only for me to get up five minutes later, like I always do. I wonder whether I’d have enough time to take a shower, but the answer doesn’t really matter: it is freezing and we just ran out of hot water, small tank capacity or something. I’d rather not go through that at all.
I do my best to put myself together despite staying up way too late last night. I am sore to no end but still manage to get dressed and wash my teeth, like I always do.
Before going downstairs, I made sure to have everything in my backpack—since I might forget, like I always do. The number of things I need to take to high school compared to what I used to in elementary largely increased. I feel much heavier now, but despite the fatigue I always manage to pull through, so why complain?
As I finally decide I’m all set to prepare myself something quick for breakfast, I hear mom is already in the kitchen. She must still be too scare to let me near the stove again… I say hi to her and offer to help with whatever she’s cooking, but she still can’t stop crying and nagging about
As I finally decide I’m all set to prepare myself something quick for breakfast, I realize I need to be as quiet as possible to not wake mom up. I’m not particularly graceful as I move around the house and she really needs the sleep, so I slow down almost to the point of no movement. After listening to the emptiness of the house I am now sure I didn’t mess up, and so I keep going, like I always do.
Bread, cream cheese, supermarket strawberry jam… Oh. I forgot I had disconnected the toaster’s plug yesterday. I never do that. Why did I do that? …Right, the Switch! I had nowhere to charge it last night so I put it there. It messes me up whenever I have a change in routine, but now I remember. The Switch. I feel so content inside whenever I have it with me, like I always do. After all, it was a gift for me from
Bread, cream cheese, supermarket strawberry jam… Ready! Well, that was quick. Now I can finally sit down and eat. Eat, eat, eat… Well, that was even quicker! I don’t know why, but I’ve just been so hungry lately. I can’t seem to stop chomping down on whatever’s on the plate, even if it includes supermarket strawberry jam…
Anyways. I need to leave all this stuff in the sink for later and get going, I won’t make it if I keep being like this. I do what I need to do and head towards the entrance to finally leave home. As I try to slip my shoes on with my backpack still on, the inevitable happens and I lose balance, like I always do. I fall on my side and even though it hurts like hell I can just hope I didn’t make any noise to wake mom up. I sit on the ground as I rub what will soon become a bruise and curse in my head, like I always do. Not out loud. Never out loud. Cursing is a new habit I picked up pretty quickly thanks to the new environment and stuff, but I’ve been told not to by
I do what I need to do and head towards the entrance to finally leave home. I take my keys from the little end table next to the couch, inserting it in the door to turn the lock. I can now see the sky. My steps are wonky with the tiredness I still couldn’t shake off of myself and a sharp chill runs along my exposed skin. Ah, I should have known. It would all be like this. It would end like this. It is all thanks to
I can now see the sky. It is made out of woven polypropylene. It is rough and dark. And it is so close to my nose, tied around my neck, I can hardly breathe. I walk towards the same direction, like I always do. I will never know where it leads. But I do know it hurts when I reach the end of it. It almost hurts as much as knowing I used to have a family. I used to have mom and she had her boyfriend. I used to hate the direction towards school the most of all, thinking it was the worst one there could ever be. I used to have some friends. And most importantly, I used to have
Damian.
Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian. Damian.
███████████████████████████████████████ like I always do. █████████████████████████████████████████████████ it is freezing █████████████████████████████████████ I’d rather not go through that at all.
I do my best to put myself together despite staying up way too late last night. I am sore to no end ████████████████████████████ like I always do.
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████ like I always do. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I feel much heavier now, but despite the fatigue I always manage to pull through, so why complain?
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ She must still be too scare ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████she still can’t stop crying ████████████
███████████████████████████████████████████ I need to be as quiet as possible ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ I slow down almost to the point of no movement. ████████████████████████ and so I keep going, like I always do.
████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ It messes me up whenever I have a change in routine ████████████████████████████ like I always do. ████████████████████
██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████I’ve just been so hungry lately █ can’t seem to stop chomping down on whatever’s on the plate, even if it includes ██████████
████████████████████████████████████████ I won’t make it if I keep being like this████████████████████████████████████████ home ██████████████████████████████ the inevitable happens ██ I lose balance, like I always do. ████████████ even though it hurts like hell I can just hope I didn’t make any noise ██████████ I sit on the ground as I rub what will soon become a bruise ████████████ like I always do. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████
████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████turn the lock ████████████ My steps are wonky with the tiredness I still couldn’t shake off of myself and a sharp chill runs along my exposed skin ████████████████████████████████████████████████████
Damian.
When are you coming to save me?