Chapter Text
“You understand, don’t you?”
Megumi’s biting tone was the first thing that managed to bring Yuji back to his senses. The second: the sharpness of his eyes when Yuji threatened to meet them. He would drop his head as quickly as he’d lifted it to look at Megumi.
They had been walking perfectly in sync until that glare caused Yuji’s pace to slighter halter. Megumi stopped, so Yuji stopped, following him as if in his shadow despite always treading in the light.
Raising an expectant eyebrow, the shikigami user’s resting indifference of a frown turned into more of an actual frown of annoyance.
“I gotcha,” Yuji affirmed, his smile failing to spread to Megumi, who only kept walking forward. “We’re here to find the first grade curse and exorcise ‘em. Already got run down ‘a hundred times, but I don’t mind you making it ‘a-hundered-and-one.”
As he trailed ahead, and Megumi began catching up, Yuji thought not much of it, entailing himself busy with drumming his fingers alongside the steel railing burning from the sun.
Their relationship had been smooth at first. Both boys comforted each other- confided. For the first month, Yuji made sure Megumi was always cared for and felt seen without smothering him. With how gentle they were with each other, it was more than frustrating when the rocky patch began. It would start small with Yuji poking and prodding Megumi before it would snowball into something big. Admittedly on Megumi’s part, a majority of their fights were due to his cryptic nature and his unwillingness to express himself.
That did not come from a lack of love or trust in Yuji, but rather in himself, a deeply seeded hate Megumi opted to ignore when Yuji was around. Because Itadori made him genuinely happy and it seemed like his own issues tried to ruin that. So he didn’t point out when Yuji chewed loudly or how sometimes Yuji calling him out in a group setting didn’t make him feel seen but instead annoyed. But all the truths he hoped would have dissolved in his stomach acid had he pushed it far enough, would come up in an unwanted explosion, and he’d be left feeling like a sack of shit.
It was never intentional, because if Yuji felt bad, naturally, Megumi felt bad. So, Megumi would step out of his comfort zone and tell Yuji whatever was wrong whenever it was happening, and Yuji, of course, would listen. They were able to escape the rocks unscathed enough to have a restart of sorts after learning from past mistakes. Yuji made sure Megumi was always happy and satisfied- hating when he was upset because that meant not knowing if he should leave him alone or try and stress the issue.
Megumi felt inferior. Silly, he knew it, but he would only be angry at himself (which makes there being more things he keeps in but doesn't tell Yuji). Old habits die hard. He had learned from his actions, he just didn’t know how to change.
But there were moments like now when there was a heavy discomfort that Yuji couldn’t grasp because of the density of his brain, Megumi thought. An excuse, or rather a self diagnosis on his boyfriend. The sky was a disorienting blue and the sun even more so a sickening hue. It made him feel sweat beginning to collect underneath his uniform that he tried to hide.
To seem as effortlessly unbothered as always, walking in the shadows seemed like the best bet. He could collect his thoughts and cool off from the sun, and worse, his ever radiant partner.
Yuji walked in the light without issue. That wasn’t surprising- nothing seemed to phase him. The sun’s rays only red elected his annoyingly buoyant personality and the carefreeness reflected in that smile. Megumi’s eyes fell adrift to roam over him. From out of the corner of his eye, naturally. Subtly. But not in the “smitten” way, like when they’d first met. More so, the, “annoyed but unsure of why.”
Looking forward, Megumi let out a heavy sigh underneath his breath.
Shit.
Great.
He’d lost his train of thought.
As he tried to retell himself the contents of his plan, Yuji bumped into his shoulder out of nowhere, singing off-key. The ends of Megumi's fingers twitched.
He didn’t have to lash at Yuji for the moment their eyes met, this time, Yuji paused completely and his upturned lips curled into a taut line. Megumi paused as well, stopping himself from displaying any more anger on his face. Inhaling deeply, he took a moment, closed his eyes, and exhaled to meet Yuji upon opening them.
Itadori didn’t say anything, surprisingly, anticipating whatever it was Megumi was thinking, or going to do next. He finally was able to not only read but see the air between them was anything but airy at the moment.
In a low grumble, Megumi murmured, “Can you…take this seriously?”
A hand raked through pink, strawberry hair- a method to destress.
“Of course I do..? Er, why wouldn’t I?” Yuji responded, his brows knitting together in confusion as he swallowed a scoff.
Green eyes fixed on every micro-expression that Yuji held. Flickering up and down, Yuji met his eyes incredulously.
“Why are you staring at me like that-“
“Clearly you don’t.”
“What?” Itadori scoffed, faintly shaking his head subconsciously, “I don’t what?”
“Take this job seriously! You’re drumming on the railing and humming- and this whole argument is just a waste of time from the mission.”
Megumi caught his breath after his fit, feeling himself go red in the cheeks. He turned away in frustration, running his hand through his hair as a feign to hide his ever redding skin from the embarrassment. It wasn’t like him to lose his cool- why had Yuji just…set him off like that.
Once again, Yuji was left to stand in stunned silence.
Promptly, a cautious footstep on gravel approached him. Megumi gingerly winced before pushing himself to keep moving forward.
A jumbled mess was Megumi’s mind as he tried to put one foot in front of the other, but it seemed like the winding road stretched on and on and each step got him no where but deeper in his own shit.
“I understand you’re upset. Just tell me why, please. Was it something I did-?”
Yuji’s words caused the muscles in Megumi’s body to tighten as his teeth clenched tightly against one another. His voice carried the heavy weight of maturity during youth Megumi didn’t hear often, but also a reminder of his stupid selflessness.
Mumbling, “Just shut up,” Megumi hoped Yuji would drop it and they could just finish the mission in terse silence. But of course that wouldn’t happen in a reality where Yuji was his thoughtful lover.
Yuji had taken steps Megumi’s way, coming into the shadows for him, though this time more urgently, still he refrained from grabbing onto him. With a scoff, Megumi tried to push forward before Yuji would come to stand in his way, blocking his path by standing directly in front of him. Megumi would have preferred to avoid his gaze, but Yuji’s insistence on honey brown eyes kept him locked in place.
“Don’t…tell me to ‘just shut up.’” Yuji stated, his tone clear as he tried to keep Megumi’s gaze. Not that he had to try hard- Megumi couldn’t look away if he had wanted to- and he wanted to. “Megumi, I hate it when we fight, and I know you do too. Whatever happened that’s made you annoyed just let me know. You know I don’t care hearing if it was somethin’ I did, either.”
He looked up to Yuji with thick lashes, his eyes brimming with frustration as he tried to blink away any feelings.
“I don’t understand you,” Megumi would murmur quietly, clenching and unclenching his hands by his side, feeling that nervous sting triggering them to start sweating. “All I am is a mess to deal with and you put up with me treating you badly because of it like a punching bag.”
Yuji sighed, beginning to explain, “Well, Megumi, I don’t mind-“
“I know!” Megumi interrupted, stepping closer to Yuji, “And that’s the issue! Get angry at me. I’d prefer it over you staying complacently happy with taking my shit.” He came closer and Yuji didn’t make space, instead he stood, and he listened, and chewed his bottom lip attentively. Megumi, scanning over his face, couldn’t detect whatever was going on in his brain and shook his head instead, continuing, “Being mature isn’t taking responsibility for everything, especially when you’re not even the cause.”
In a sentence or two, Megumi’s anxious words had distracted himself enough to let Yuji’s thick hands hook into the crests of slender fingers. Gently, he smiled, “I think you carry guilt over yourself when you don’t have to, like me, we just handle it differently. Since you struggle with expressin’ stuff, if letting it out like that when you can’t help it, helps, I don’t mind. I don’t wanna make you feel stressed to clear the air, just talk to me when you’re ready. You’re someone I love, not just something to fix.”
Don’t look at me like that. I don’t deserve you.
Fushiguro thought, internally sighing as he squeezed Yuji’s hand, his eyes softening as he faced him.
“I’m sorry, Yuji,” Megumi brought Yuji’s hand up to his lips and ironed a gentle press onto the back, “I was just upset with myself. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, but thanks for always being understanding.”
An unrepressible smile caused Yuji to softly beam. reciprocating the favor, he kissed Megumi on the lower side of his right jaw with a slight peck, but it was enough to make Megumi shiver.
Against his ear, Yuji hummed, “You can tell me more about these feelings later, if you’re ready,”
Without fully pulling away, Itadori let his breath to ghost over Megumi’s neck as he grazed against his ear. A firm hand coiled around Megumi’s waist, drawing him closer. Losing his footing, Fushiguro tumbled back slightly against the railing, causing a quiet clatter. Both of his hands fell behind him to grasp the shaded beams as a means for support- all while Yuji pressed against him closer- just to be a tease.
Realizing what he was doing, Megumi grumbled, closing his eyes to ignore the sensations, but unknowingly invited them deeper into his brain.
“Mission, remember?” Megumi managed to grunt out, the slight irritation creeping back up his throat.
Yuji nodded, “Yup, I remember,” smiling with all thirty-two’s. He backed himself up off Megumi, who gave him a warning glare with evident fondness. Ruefully, Yuji laughed shortly, “I can get carried away, right? That’s my bad.”
Extending his hand, Megumi took it, Yuji helping haul him up off the railing as they continued walking. Side-by-side, dancing the fine line of split shadow and light.