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Sakura and Suo have been officially together for a few months now, ever since the end of high school. Their dynamic hasn’t changed much: Sakura still blushes at Suo’s displays of affection just like he did when they were only friends, and Suo is still that teasing boy who loves nothing more than setting his partner’s cheeks on fire.
But something has changed recently, something only Suo knows.
Whenever they sleep together, whether it’s at Sakura’s apartment or Suo’s, a certain phenomenon occurs. One that Suo has begun to wait for with a patience that borders on devotion.
He’s discovered that Sakura sleepwalks.
Not every night, but most of them. And his sleeping version has absolutely nothing to do with his daytime one. He’s clingy. He’s affectionate. He seeks physical contact as if his life depends on it. And once he finds Suo, he refuses to let go under any circumstances.
Suo, of course, finds it completely adorable.
But also, because he’s Suo, he uses it strategically to make Sakura melt with embarrassment.
✧˖°. ⋆｡˚｡･:*˚:✧｡
It’s two in the morning.
The room is dark, barely lit by a faint beam of moonlight slipping through the curtains. Suo is completely awake, propped up on one elbow, watching Sakura with an expression full of adoration and… patience.
Sakura is curled up beside him, taking up barely half the bed, but his breathing has already changed. It grew slower at first, and now it’s starting to pick up again. His frown, that frown he always wears even when he’s awake, relaxed a while ago. His shoulders, always tense as if expecting a blow, have finally sunk into the mattress.
Suo waits.
He knows what’s coming.
Minutes pass, and then Sakura begins to move. First, it’s just a turn of his head, his cheek pressing into the pillow. Then a hand stretches forward, searching.
Searching for him.
“Mmm…” he murmurs softly, almost like a little growl when he can’t find what he’s looking for in his dreams. “Suo…”
Suo smiles. He can’t help it.
“I’m here,” he whispers, even though he knows Sakura isn’t really listening.
But something in his voice must reach him, because Sakura shifts completely into his space. In a clumsy but determined movement, he presses himself against Suo with such force that Suo feels the air leave his lungs a little.
It doesn’t matter, though. Not when he feels Sakura’s forehead bump against his shoulder. His nose buries into Suo’s neck.
And then the magic begins.
“Suo…” His voice is a hoarse whisper, broken by sleep, but filled with a tenderness Suo never hears out loud. “Hayato… you smell nice…”
Suo holds his breath.
Sakura lifts his face. His eyes are slightly open, clouded with sleep, and his lips… those lips Suo loves to kiss and bite at every possible moment… form a pout.
A pout. Sakura Haruka, the boy who threatens to punch anyone who gives him a compliment or embarrasses him, is pouting in the dim light because Suo hasn’t hugged him yet.
“What is it?” Suo asks in a whisper, even though he already knows the answer.
“A kiss,” Sakura says, his face completely flushed even in his sleep. “Give me a kiss.”
Suo’s heart flips. It always does when he gets this version of his adorable, soft Sakura-kun. No matter how many nights pass, he never gets used to it.
He tilts his head and presses a gentle kiss to the corner of Sakura’s lips. It’s sweet, nothing suggestive. Still, Sakura frowns, even asleep he’s a little demanding, and Suo’s quiet laughter fills the dark room for just a moment before he kisses him properly.
Sakura relaxes immediately when he feels his boyfriend’s lips move against his. Once he’s satisfied with the kisses, he buries his face back into Suo’s neck.
And his hands begin to move.
“What are you doing now?” Suo murmurs, even though he can already feel it.
Sakura’s hands are cold. They always have been. And now they’re searching for the edge of Suo’s pajama top, slipping beneath the fabric with a naturalness that would make Sakura burn so hot during the day you could fry an egg on his cheeks.
“Warmer…” Sakura murmurs, his voice muffled against Suo’s skin. “Hayato, you’re always warmer…”
His icy fingers spread over Suo’s stomach, making him flinch slightly at the contact. But he doesn’t move. He doesn’t want to wake him. He wouldn’t dare.
Besides… he likes it.
He likes this Sakura who doesn’t know how to hold back his feelings. Who doesn’t know how to run away. Who asks for what he wants with flushed cheeks, cold hands, and the trust of someone who knows he’ll always be received.
The Sakura who knows that Suo Hayato, his boyfriend, would never deny him anything.
“It’s okay,” Suo whispers, wrapping his arms around Sakura’s waist. “Put them wherever you want.”
Sakura doesn’t need to be told twice. He slides both hands under the pajama shirt, presses them against warm skin, and lets out a sigh of satisfaction so genuine that Suo feels something tighten in his chest.
But he’s not done.
Because Sakura also has legs. And now one of them slides between Suo’s, hooking around his hip. The other traps him by the thighs. Within seconds, Suo is completely immobilized, wrapped in a koala-like embrace that has no intention of letting him go.
“Don’t let go,” Sakura whispers against his neck. His warm breath tickles Suo’s skin. “Please… don’t let go, Hayato.”
Suo closes his eyes.
“I won’t,” he answers, and it’s a promise. “I’ll never let you go, Haruka.”
Hearing that certainty calms Sakura. His breathing grows deeper again, but his arms don’t loosen even a little. He’s asleep, but his body has already decided that this is where he belongs. That Suo is where he belongs.
And Suo, trapped beneath the weight of his sleepwalking boyfriend, smiles into the darkness, pulling him even closer… if that’s somehow possible.
✧˖°. ⋆｡˚｡･:*˚:✧｡
Suo could go to sleep early… next to Sakura.
In fact, at the beginning of their relationship, he did. But over time he realized that if he stayed awake just a little longer, he would get to see this. He would get to watch Sakura slowly transform, watch the walls he had spent years building crumble under the weight of sleep, revealing something Suo had always suspected was there, but had never been able to fully see.
That’s why he waits.
He waits for Sakura to fall asleep first, even when he’s tired and sometimes has to get up for a glass of water just to stay awake. He waits lying on his side, propped up on one hand, watching him and listening as his breathing shifts in rhythm.
He waits for the exact moment when his face relaxes, his limbs go slack, and his hands begin to search until Sakura finally finds him.
As if his body had memorized the shape of his boyfriend’s warmth. And Suo, knowing all these details, not only from watching him, but from hearing them spill from his sleeping Sakura’s own lips, lets everything happen exactly the way the boy wants.
Because it’s in those moments that Sakura lets his walls fall.
When there’s nothing to defend and nothing to prove.
When he allows himself to express everything without being restrained by the ghosts of his past…
Suo thinks:
How lucky I am.
While Sakura kidnaps him with his limbs and whispers his name over and over again as if his life depends on it.
Sometimes Suo curls in on himself. He stays still, arms wrapped around Sakura, simply… feeling something beyond the weight of the body pressed against his own.
Beyond the warmth of cold hands slipping beneath his silk pajamas.
He feels the absolute trust it takes for someone like Sakura, someone who has spent so long alone, too afraid to trust anyone, to become so vulnerable while sleeping beside him.
Sakura never says “I love you” when he’s awake. Well, he did once… and then couldn’t look Suo in the eye for two whole days. But asleep… asleep he says it all the time.
“I love you…” he whispers right now, directly against Suo’s bare chest. Yes… he had removed his pajama bottoms, because according to him, sleepwalking Sakura found them bothersome. He sighs, rubbing his cheek against warm skin. He sighs again. “I like you so much… so much… I love everything about you… Hayato… My Hayato is so handsome…”
Suo thought he had truly fallen asleep after letting out those affection-heavy words, but he couldn’t have been more wrong. Because what came next made his heart stop completely — and then start pounding so wildly he could feel it echoing in his ears.
Sakura said it in a small voice, and if the air conditioner had been on, Suo probably wouldn’t have heard it.
He murmured:
“I fell in love with you when I thought I didn’t deserve anyone’s love…” he says, pausing for a second. “Thank you for changing that… I love you.”
Suo squeezes his eyes shut for a moment.
Sometimes it’s too much. This boy sleeping in his arms is the bravest person he knows, but also the most fragile. And the fact that he chose to surrender like this with him…
Yes.
It doesn’t matter if it ruins his sleep schedule for this.
Because it wouldn’t be ruined if every sleepy word falling from Sakura’s lips makes his heart flutter like this and fills his stomach with butterflies.
He thinks it every night as he feels Sakura cling to him, as his legs trap him, as his hands try to sink into his skin, as his lips shape words he would never say during the day.
When he finally falls asleep, wrapped in the embrace of his nocturnal koala, there’s a smile painted on his face that no one ever sees.
✧˖°. ⋆｡˚｡･:*˚:✧｡
Warm sunlight filters through the window, falling softly over the bed covered in white blankets that cocoon a lump in the center. A moment later, the lump moves and Sakura emerges, opening his eyes.
He blinks a couple of times, confused. Until he realizes he’s in Suo’s bed. The pillow smells like the soap Suo uses.
And Suo…
Suo isn’t beside him.
Sakura slowly sits up, rubbing his eyes. Then he hears noise coming from the kitchen. The sound of a kettle. Within seconds, the aroma of tea reaches him.
He gets up with a yawn, stretching as he walks toward the bedroom door. Outside, every window in the living room is open, letting natural light spill in. His eyes narrow for a moment, but he knows the place well enough to make his way to the kitchen with little trouble, his steps still clumsy from just waking up.
The first time Suo saw him walk like that, he laughed and said he looked like Bambi. Sakura didn’t even know what that was until his boyfriend showed him the movie — and when he saw the little deer wobbling around like a newborn chick, Sakura glared at Suo so intensely that Suo had to kiss him for hours before his frown softened… a little.
At the memory, Sakura blushes faintly.
When he enters the kitchen, he sees Suo there, leaning against the counter, his leather eyepatch perfectly in place over his right eye and his familiar tassel earrings swaying slightly. He’s already dressed in one of his usual Chinese-style shirts and a pair of loose, comfortable pants.
A cup of tea rests in his hands, and another steaming mug sits on the counter, this one carrying the scent of coffee with milk.
“Good morning, Haruka-kun,” he greets, stepping closer to plant a kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek. He picks up the coffee mug and walks toward the dining table. Sakura follows him silently, still processing the fact that he’s awake. “Did you sleep well?”
Sakura drops into a chair, rubbing his face with both hands.
“Ah… yeah. Normal,” he answers, taking the mug Suo set in front of him. He lets out another yawn. “I don’t remember waking up at all last night.”
Suo sits in the chair across from him and smiles, though he hides it behind a sip of tea.
“Are you sure?” he asks, not missing a single expression on his boyfriend’s face. Sakura is now taking a slice of buttered toast that Suo had prepared earlier. He nods under Suo’s gaze, clearly confused. “Because I remember something very different.”
Sakura frowns but keeps nibbling on the toast. He scoops up some blackberry jam and spreads it carefully before looking back at Suo.
“Did I… hit you or something?” he asks, genuinely puzzled. He takes another bite, never breaking eye contact. With his cheeks full, he adds, “Sowwy if I did.”
Suo does everything in his power not to get distracted by how adorable Sakura looks with puffed cheeks, speaking in that soft, muffled way and with a smudge of jam at the corner of his mouth.
He mentally shakes himself to keep from leaning in and wiping it away with his lips.
He clears his throat.
“You could say that, yes. You did hit me… but…” He pauses deliberately, lowering his cup until it touches the wooden table. He props his elbows on either side, watching him with amusement. “A loving kind of hit, I’d say.” He waits just long enough for Sakura to swallow before tilting his head with feigned innocence. “You said my neck smelled like cinnamon and that you wanted to bite it.”
Silence.
Sakura slowly lowers the half-eaten toast. His face doesn’t take long to flush furiously as he processes Suo’s words, and he nearly jumps out of his seat as if someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over him.
“W-What?!” His voice comes out in a high-pitched squeak. Red spreads up his neck and across his face. “You’re insane, I never said that!”
“Oh, you did,” Suo assures him, leaning back in his chair, perfectly relaxed with his feet crossed under the table. “You also stripped me out of my pajamas because, quote, ‘you’re warmer than that stupid heater,’ and left me in nothing but my thin underwear.”
He shakes his head and wraps his arms around himself, pretending to shiver. With dramatic flair, he declares,
“I could have caught a cold, Haruka-kun!”
He watches him for a moment, trying to continue, but Sakura is just moving his mouth soundlessly. Suo sighs fondly and lets his arms drop, shrugging.
“But it’s fine! I love this side of my sleepwalking Haruka-kun… you’re like a little dumpling.”
Sakura gives up trying to say anything coherent and instead does the only sensible thing in such a humiliating situation: he buries his face in his hands with a muffled groan.
He can hear Suo’s laughter filling the dining room. He can’t believe he’s one of those people who talks in their sleep… especially if he says things like that… things like that!
Still… he needs to know.
“H-How many times?” he asks, still hidden behind his hands. He can feel how hot his face is. “W-Was it j-just today…? Please tell me it was only today…”
Suo glances at the calendar on the wall, which shows the beginning of December, then looks back at the bundle of nerves that is his boyfriend. He blinks, mentally counting those wonderful early mornings Sakura has given him.
“Three… this month,” he answers.
He smiles when he hears Sakura’s horrified squeak and takes another sip of tea with exasperating calm, the kind that would have gotten the coffee mug thrown at his head if Sakura had been looking. He waves his free hand dismissively.
“You only asked for small things. Like kisses, complete with pouting, or sometimes you whisper in my ear about how much you love my beauty. And most nights… well, every night you end up clinging to me like a koala.”
“STOP, DON’T TELL ME ANYMORE!”
Suo was about to obey, but then he suddenly remembers one particular night that had even him blushing.
“Ah!” he exclaims, setting his cup down and raising a finger to point at him. “You also said you wanted to marry me-”
“SUO HAYATO, SHUT THE HELL UP!”
Sakura shoots to his feet, his face so red it looks ready to explode. His hands are clenched into fists at his sides, eyes wide, breathing uneven. He’s so embarrassed that even the tips of his ears are glowing.
And the toast?
Face down on the table.
Suo watches him for a few seconds, calmly scanning him from head to toe.
“I was joking,” he finally says, offering a soft smile, one that might almost be affectionate if it weren’t paired with that teasing tone. “You didn’t say that last part.”
Sakura freezes.
“…What?”
“The marriage thing. You didn’t say it,” Suo repeats. He sets his cup aside and stands, quickly closing the distance between them. He slips an arm around Sakura’s shoulders with easy familiarity, pulling him into a hug. “But the rest? Yes. All of it. Every word.”
Sakura opens his mouth to protest, but Suo presses their foreheads together before he can make a sound.
“And it was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen,” he whispers, close enough for his breath to brush Sakura’s lips. “So don’t be embarrassed. Or do. You look cute when you turn red.”
Sakura makes a strange noise, something between a groan and a growl, and hides his face in his hands again.
But he doesn’t pull away.
And Suo smiles against his hair, right along the line where the two colors meet. He plants a loud kiss there, holding him in the kitchen of his home while breakfast grows cold on the table.
✧˖°. ⋆｡˚｡･:*˚:✧｡
Extra
It’s three in the morning.
Suo wakes up with the need to use the bathroom. Carefully, very carefully, he tries to untangle himself from Sakura’s arms. It’s a delicate process. Sakura is stuck to him like gum on a shoe, his legs crossed over Suo’s and one hand tucked under his shirt.
Suo manages to free one arm. Then the other. He holds his breath as he slides Sakura’s legs off his hip. Sakura murmurs something unintelligible, frowns… but doesn’t wake up.
Suo exhales in relief. He slips out of bed quietly, grabs his robe, and leaves the room.
When he comes back, barely five minutes later, he finds the bed empty.
Suo freezes under the doorframe, blinking.
The sheets are rumpled. Sakura’s pillow still bears the dent of his head. But he’s not there.
“Haruka-kun?” he whispers, looking around.
Silence.
He had left Sakura right there before going to the bathroom… So where is he?!
Wait… where did Sakura go?
And on one of his sleepwalking nights.
A little shaken, he steps out of the bedroom again, his mind racing through a thousand scenarios at once.
Did he hide the entrance keys? Yes, they’re in the vegetable drawer. A place Sakura wouldn’t touch even while awake.
Did he lock the sliding balcony doors? Yes. He clearly remembers checking after dragging Sakura into the bath earlier.
Are the guest room windows secured? Yes. The last time they went in there was two days ago, when they did… things on that bed and ended up soaking the mattress. They had moved to sleep in the other room afterward, and Sakura himself had shut the windows because the air was too cold.
Suo walks quickly toward the living room, checking every corner. Nothing. The bathroom is empty. The small lounge area is neat, with no trace of his boyfriend.
Just as he’s about to enter the dining area, he hears it.
A murmur coming from the kitchen.
Suo heads there with steps that are far too fast, and that’s when he finds him. The relief of seeing Sakura lasts only a second before he goes completely still at the entrance.
Sakura is standing in the middle of the kitchen. His eyes are closed. He’s barefoot, his pajama shirt open at the chest, his hair more disheveled than usual.
But what makes Suo stare at him for almost a full minute is the fact that he’s whispering.
“Hayato…” His voice is a hoarse whisper, heavy with anguish. “Hayato… where are you…? Suo… did you leave me again…? You promised back in high school you never would… Hayato?”
Something breaks inside Suo’s chest.
The bitter memories of their high school years seep into his mind.
“I’m here,” he says, approaching with gentle steps. “Haruka, I’m here.”
Sakura doesn’t react. He keeps standing there with his eyes closed, turning his head from side to side as if searching for something he can’t find.
“Hayato…” he murmurs again, his voice beginning to crack. “Hayato…”
Suo reaches him. He places a hand softly against his cheek, and Sakura leans into the touch.
“I’m here,” Suo repeats in a whisper. “I came back. I just went to the bathroom.”
Sakura lets out a small sound of protest, something between a whine and a sob, and his arms stretch toward him with the urgency of a lost child. Suo catches him before he can sway, wrapping him in his arms and feeling Sakura exhale all the air from his lungs in a trembling sigh.
“Don’t leave again,” Sakura murmurs against his neck, his voice broken. “Don’t go… don’t go…”
“I won’t…” Suo replies, and his own voice comes out rougher than he expects. “I won’t go anywhere, Sakura-kun. I promised you years ago, when you came for me… remember?”
Sakura nods faintly and clings to him tightly. His arms circle Suo’s waist, his fingers hook into the fabric of the robe, and his face buries itself in Suo’s shoulder. He trembles. Only a little, but he does.
Suo holds him, rocking him gently. He presses kisses into his hair, his forehead, his closed eyelids, anywhere he can reach.
Maybe a nightmare? Suo thinks, swaying him from side to side. He sighs, closing his eyes. But why about that past? Could it be that Haruka-kun…?
He shakes his head. They talked about it. They cleared everything up back then, that autumn at FURIN.
And yet…
I’m an idiot, Suo thinks, guilt tightening in his chest.
Yes, Sakura is having a nightmare now, but it was Suo who first caused another wound of abandonment.
“Let’s go back to bed,” he whispers minutes later, when he feels Sakura’s body grow calmer. “Come on, Haruka-kun. I’m right here.”
Sakura doesn’t move. He doesn’t loosen his grip.
“Promise me on your pinky?” he asks, in that vulnerable, sleepy voice that hits Suo straight in the heart. “Promise me on your pinky.”
Suo squeezes his eyes shut.
“I promise,” he says, awkwardly hooking his pinky around Sakura’s and giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m not going anywhere. You can sleep as long as you want, as long as you need. I won’t move. I promise.”
He kisses his forehead again and again. Then his cheeks. Then the corner of his lips, the place that always turns the reddest when Sakura wakes up.
Sakura exhales, content under the affection. His body relaxes slowly, and his grip becomes less desperate.
“Okay…” he murmurs, his voice already heavy with sleep. “I trust you, Hayato…”
Suo guides him back to the bedroom with slow steps, supporting him the whole way. When they reach the bed, Sakura drops onto the mattress like dead weight, but his arms don’t let go. They drag Suo down with him. And Suo lets himself be dragged, because he no longer has any intention of moving.
Sakura settles against him within seconds. His legs trap him again. His hands slip back under his shirt. His nose buries itself in Suo’s neck.
His breathing deepens.
He’s asleep. Truly asleep.
Suo holds him in the darkness, arms wrapped around his back, and allows himself a moment to catch his breath.
Then he glances toward the nightstand.
Sakura’s phone is there. He must have brought it from the kitchen. How did it end up there? Sakura must have been holding it while searching for him.
Suo picks it up almost on instinct. The screen is still on, the call app open.
And there’s a voicemail.
Without thinking, Suo presses play. The volume is low, but in the silence of the room it sounds perfectly clear.
Sakura’s voice. Sleepy. Confused. But unmistakable.
“I love you more than omurice.”
Silence.
Suo goes completely still, phone in hand, staring at the screen as if he’s just discovered buried treasure.
I love you more than omurice.
Suo knows what that means. He knows that for Sakura, omurice is his favorite food. The one he always orders when they go out. The one Suo cooks for him when he’s had a bad day. The one Sakura fiercely defends if anyone dares to say it isn’t that good.
I love you more than omurice.
Suo covers his mouth with his hand. But his visible eye crinkles and his shoulders shake, and the laughter that escapes him is silent but completely uncontrollable.
He lowers the phone. Looks at Sakura, fast asleep, clinging to him.
Suo saves the message.
He doesn’t delete it. He will never delete it.
In fact, as he absentmindedly runs his fingers through Sakura’s hair, a smile spreads across his face. A smile Sakura would recognize as dangerous if he were awake.
Because Suo has just found kryptonite.
He won’t use it anytime soon. He’ll save it for a special moment.
Maybe when Sakura claims he isn’t affectionate.
Maybe when he tries to deny he’s ever said “I love you.”
Maybe when he’s being particularly tsundere.
Then Suo will take out his phone. Play the message. And watch Sakura turn red, red, red all the way to his fingertips.
But for now…
For now, Suo pulls Sakura closer against his chest, kisses the top of his head, and closes his eyes with a smile that won’t fade for the rest of the night.
And in his sleep, Sakura murmurs his name again.
Suo smiles.
“I’m here,” he whispers, even though Sakura can’t hear him. “I’m not going anywhere ever again.”