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After posting on Instagram, Carlos just dedicated a few seconds to look at the growing number of comments and likes and closed the app; after all, he had a suitcase to prepare. Louis Vuitton had contracted him for their last two campaigns and since they also had a partnership with Wimbledon, there he went. His popularity had skyrocketed internationally this last year and, even though he had been quite known in Spain for a few years, he wasn’t still used to what his newfound fame brought with it. Not that he wasn’t enjoying it. When he started posting about tennis on his social media, barely a teenager wanting to find people he could share his passion with, he never thought he would become one the most known social media personalities of the sport; now he was invited to tournaments in partnership with brands he never thought he would be able to afford. He was excited, Wimbledon was the first Grand Slam he had been invited to, he would be able to watch all the best players; maybe he would even get to talk with some of them, he wishfully thought, especially with one of them.
***
Jannik had arrived in the UK just a couple of days before, he was warming up for today’s training session. There were a few fans scattered around his court but everything was pretty calm, or it had been, just until that moment. Suddenly, the Italian heard screams. He stopped to look, he thought that maybe Djokovic had appeared even though that type of reaction was strange. From his position he could only see quite a large group gathered around someone, phones out in order to take a selfie. Curiosity got him and he kept staring until he was able to see who had created such a commotion, so he kept looking until he finally saw it. A snort escaped out of him and he shook his head in disapprovement. Seriously? They were at a Grand Slam and they had gone crazy for an… influencer?
He tried to detach his eyes from the boy, but he wasn’t quick enough, so they locked eyes for a second. He tried to focus on finishing his warm up. Had the other boy smiled when he saw Jannik? Probably not, he’s always smiling. And it wouldn’t make sense that he smiled at him. At least not anymore. That training session was not his best. He said that he still needed to acclimatize, his coaches seemed to think it was perfectly normal, so they all went to the house they had rented for the tourney to rest for the following day. In fact, that was what Jannik should be doing, resting for tomorrow, his first match was not far and he should be well rested to prepare for it. Instead, he found himself scrolling down a certain Instagram profile. The most recent posts were quite professional, most of them at least; collaborations with brands, fashion photoshoots, curated content about the last tennis tourneys. He kept scrolling, further down, until he stopped at a certain post. Both of them, younger, smiling for the selfie the Spaniard had taken. Congratulations for the win, Jannik 🥇🤩🥳 it's always good to see you, thanks 🙏. He looked at it for a couple of minutes. Then he sighted, closed the app, turned off the screen of his phone and tried to sleep.
***
Carlos had to film a bit of content on his first day at Wimbledon, he was getting close to the courts where some players would already be training when he heard his name a few times. In no time he had quite a large group around him, asking for selfies or what he would be doing during the tournament for his socials. He smiled and said that they would know it in their due time. He tried to advance and he was nearly achieving it when he saw him. Jannik Sinner. The Italian was already looking at him. Carlos smiled and he was about to wave at him when the other stopped looking at him abruptly. The Spaniard froze for a moment but tried to continue his way, attending to the people who kept following him. He tried to forget that weird interaction, maybe Jannik had not recognised him, and he was probably busy training.
Carlos, dude, that man is the number 1 in the world, he has more important things to do than waving at an influencer that he met when he was starting his career.
He tried to convince himself that it was just natural that the higher Jannik went on the ranking, the more difficult it became for him to receive any kind of attention from him. Now the most important media fought to get interviews from him, so it was obvious that he wouldn't have time for Carlos and his stupid Instagram or Youtube Channel like he had in the past. In fact, Carlos knew that he should be thankful for the years he’d been able to have a somewhat close relationship with the tennis player.
Carlos still could remember the first time he saw the Italian play, he remembered being mesmerised by him, the way his long legs moved and his bright orange hair shined with the reflection of the sun. He couldn't help going to him after the match, trying to get to know him a little bit, wanting to congratulate him and to express how much he had liked the way he’d played. The Italian was shy, but very nice to Carlos. He seemed to like the younger boy's enthusiasm even though the communication was not easy, neither of them speaking the other’s language and just kind of managing broken English. However, the next time Carlos managed to attend an event where the Italian was playing, he was surprised to see that the redhead recognised him and waved to say hello from the court he was training at.
At that event Carlos was able to tell him that he had started some social media channels and that he would love to talk a little bit with a “future star” if he didn’t mind it. He remembered Jannik flushing at those words, but accepting, and that same day they recorded a short video where Jannik talked a little bit about himself, about where he came from and what he expected for the near future. It had become one of Carlos’ most reproduced videos after Jannik reached the top. It was one of Carlos' favourite videos.
***
The next few days came and went, Jannik managed to keep his focus on his tennis, at least until that night. He usually tried to stay away from social media, but knowing that a certain someone was there too made it impossible for him not to look. He had a small scare that first day, someone had been filming him when Carlos appeared and the video uploaded was captioned as “lol the disgusted face at Carlos”, which resulted in him being a bit dragged in the comments. It didn't escalate too much, Jannik wondered if Carlos had seen it and if he would even care if he did. Probably not, he thought. He kind of had his response the night before his game of round of 16. The video appeared on his feed, it wasn't from Carlos, it was another content creator who was asking the Spanish guy about his experience at his first Grand Slam; the first few questions were quite innocent but then:
“So, Carlos, have you seen that video of Sinner when he saw you with some fans?” Carlos looked slightly taken aback but answered “Not sure of what you mean” and smiled, “he probably doesn't even know that I’m here, he has way more important things to care about right now”.
It was a perfectly normal answer, Carlos said it with a polite smile and most people would’ve just kept going, but not that guy.
“Bro, I swear, he knows you're here, look”, he took out a phone and showed Carlos the video.
Carlos’ face kept his polite smile, very different from the one Jannik had come to know as his real smile. It confirmed to Jannik that Carlos had already seen the video, since it was nearly impossible for the boy not to keep a straight face. When the video finished, the other content creator was looking at Carlos for some reaction but he just said “Oh, we made quite a lot of noise while he was training, that's not good, yeah that was not ideal”. Seeing that he wouldn't get anything else from the Spaniard, the other boy just said “You're too nice, dude” but continued with another question, thankfully not related to Jannik.
Jannik was a bit confused after that. He knew that Carlos knew he'd seen him that first day and now he knew that Carlos had seen the video, too. Nevertheless, he had a perfectly good opportunity to dig at Jannik and he did not take it. He checked the Spaniard’s profile once again and he saw a video of him commenting on some of the matches he had been able to watch until now, he pressed on it not knowing if he wanted or not to see himself on Carlos’ video. He was. The other boy mentioned him, but not only that, he praised him. He complimented almost every aspect of his game mentioning the evolution from Paris in such a short amount of time.
The video ended, and Jannik realized that he was by far the tennis player that had received the longest analysis. He felt his cheeks redden and then he felt stupid. Well, I guess now it's not trendy hating on me. He turned off his phone and tried to sleep. Tried being a key word, because when his alarm rang the following morning, he felt like shit. He hadn't practically slept and when he had been able to, weird dreams had plagued his mind. When the time for his game arrived he felt exhausted, and he played like it. He was two sets down when his opponent had to retire. He didn't know how to feel, a mix of guilt and relief clouding his head. When he finally arrived at his house he went straight to bed wanting this day to end, his only thought after falling asleep being a promise to himself that he would not waste this second opportunity, he was going to win this tournament.
***
Some brands had contacted Carlos when he announced he would be at Wimbledon this year, that had become usual for him; what he did not expect was the tournament media contacting him too. They proposed him shooting a video with some players doing some type of short, fun game. He obviously accepted as soon as they asked him. Working with fashion or skincare brands was cool and he earned good money with it, but this had always been his dream, working for tennis, with the players themselves. He started working on it as soon as he received an email with all the information and was extremely excited until he saw something that made his stomach sink. Among the names of the players that he had seen, one stood out.
Jannik Sinner
A year ago, he would've been delighted, the Italian player had always been the nicest with him, even when he skyrocketed on the rankings, always remembering the overexcited Spanish boy that had always followed him from the early years of his career. Carlos is aware that most of his new fame actually came thanks to Jannik who, after that first video when they both were just teenagers, had kept recording some videos like short interviews or shared analysis with him. Until last year. Now Carlos had managed to collaborate with some other players, though none of them was as high-ranked as the Italian. In fact, so many people wondered who he was and how he had managed to collaborate with Jannik that he had to record a video telling the story. That was after Jannik won his first Grand Slam; they did a video for Carlos' YouTube channel that actually paved the way for Carlos to be internationally known in the tennis fandom.
When the following day arrived and the time to film the content came closer, Carlos was quite nervous; the crew who was with him tried to reassure him, not knowing what was actually troubling the young Spanish boy. Carlos smiled and thanked them and tried to relax. He told himself that he would be professional, that he would not think about the last message in a certain chat that had been sitting unread for some months now.
***
Jannik was hanging out with his team in the living room of the house they had rented when his agent arrived.
“Jannik, tomorrow, after training, you have to film a short video for the tournament socials”.
“Oh, okay, do you know what it will be about?” He asked, only half listening, the Mario kart race he was leading being his main focus.
“Something about creating the perfect tennis player, picking different players for different aspects of the game, so it will be fast, I think.”
“Good.”
“Oh, and it is with this Spanish guy you know, I can’t remember his name right now…”
Jannik froze at that, his character hit a wall, losing a couple of positions. The other players laughed, mocking him for what they thought was just a terrible maneuver. He tried to keep playing but his mind wasn't there anymore.
“Carlos?” It came more like a whine than a proper question, so he tried to mask it with a cough.
“Yes, that. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, yes, just a bit tired, in fact I think I’m going to bed.”
The race they had been playing ended, with Jannik dead last. He left the controller and got up.
“Are you sure you're okay?” Simone asked.
“Yes, you can keep playing, good night.”
His team looked a bit concerned, but he didn't have the energy to pretend so he just climbed the stairs and went to his room. Tomorrow he would see Carlos, but not only that, he would have to talk to him, in front of a camera.
“Fuck.”
***
The dynamic was quite simple, Carlos just had to ask the question to the players and discuss their decisions. He started with Taylor Fritz, who was pretty chill and nice, which helped Carlos relax a little bit. Next came Ben Shelton, who matched quite well Carlos’ energy and even commented that he’d seen some of his last videos. Then came Jack Draper, he was polite, but Carlos had the impression that he didn't want to interact much with him, except the two times he’d mentioned Jannik for two different categories. It was like he was evaluating Carlos' reaction. Carlos remembered that before they had stopped talking, Jannik had mentioned being close with the Englishman. Had Jannik told Jack something bad about him? Carlos had spent hours wondering why Jannik had never answered him. Had he done something that actually bothered the Italian?
Nervousness came back to him and as if on cue, he was informed that Jannik would be next. He started sweating and he felt slightly nauseous. He told himself that he'd try to be professional, but now he didn't know if he’d be able to do it.
“Hello, Jannik, thanks for coming”. Carlos lifted his head at that, suddenly, his eyes met lighter ones, eyes he’d always found beautiful. However, it was the first time he looked at those eyes and found coldness.
“Hello, of course”, Jannik answered, turning his head towards the person who had spoken to him.
“Here's Carlos, I think you know each other”, said the woman pointing at the Spanish guy, “whenever you're ready, we start”.
“Let's do it, then”, the Italian answered politely, but without any trace of emotion in his voice or face. Carlos' fears confirmed then, Jannik was mad at him, that was the reason he hadn't answered his message, hell, Carlos had spent the last few days hanging around trying to run into him, just to have an excuse to talk to him, but every time he had seen him from far, the Italian had ended up disappearing before Carlos could approach him. He felt even more nauseous. When the redhead came by his side, the shorter boy tried to meet the other’s eyes, but he was looking straight at the camera.
“Hola, Janni”, Carlos said, so low he even doubted the Italian had heard. Jannik didn't respond, but Carlos saw his posture become more tense and his face making an almost imperceptible grimace of… pain? Had he hurt Jannik? Carlos didn't know how that would be possible!
“Okay, guys” said one of the members of the crew, “Carlos, you start asking, Jannik, you answer and Carlos will give you his opinion and you can debate a little bit, everything is ready”. She smiled at them and made a gesture for them to start.
“Hi-hi, Jannik, uhm, let's cre-create yo-your fav-favourite, no, sorry”, Carlos stopped rubbing his eyes. He couldn't focus, he could not remember what he had to say, English had fled his mind.
“Hey, Carlos, it's okay don't worry, let's try again!” Said the same woman from before with a nice smile, trying to reassure him. He tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs did not collaborate, he felt suffocated, but tried to continue anyways.
“Hi, Ja-Jannik, let's, let's cre-create the-the p-perfect…”
“Carlos” interrupted the woman again, he lifted his head to look at her, he hadn't realised he had been looking down, “are you okay? You look a bit sick, do you need a pause?” he felt the eyes of every single person in the room over him. He froze, not knowing what to say. It was at that moment that someone, he didn't even know who, called for a five minute pause.
In a couple of seconds almost everybody had left the room. Carlos went for an empty chair and practically threw himself at it. He lowered his head and grabbed his hair. He felt ridiculous, he had interrupted everybody's job just because he couldn't handle his own feelings. It was then when he felt that someone was still looking at him.
“Janni… I…”
“I can put an excuse so you don't have to do the video.”
Carlos looked at him, his face was an emotionless mask, but his eyes held an emotion that, even though Carlos could not decipher, he still could perceive it.
“NO!” The Spaniard said quickly “I can do it! I… it's j-just that…”
“It is bad press to do it with me, I know, but it's not on your socials, so I don't think you'll get much backlash.”
“What?”
“Guys! Ready?” Asked an assistant appearing out of nowhere “Carlos are you feeling better?”
He was in fact not, but he nodded anyway, getting up and going to his place. Jannik was already there. Carlos was very confused about what Jannik had said about bad press. Did he really think that Carlos didn't want to do the video with him? They were called to start the video. This time they were able to film it, even if the result ended up being a bit awkward and way more serious than the others. Since it was the last video they had to record, Carlos tried to catch Jannik, he needed to talk to him. He was so lost. However, one of the members of the crew asked him something and by the time the Spaniard had finished talking to her, the Italian had already left.
***
Jannik felt sick. Watching Carlos react that way to film some content with him had not sat right with him. I guess he doesn't need me anymore. He thought. Probably the contrary. Maybe the Spaniard's agent had recommended him not to publicly interact with Jannik. He couldn't delete his videos and posts with the redhead since they were his most popular ones, but he didn't need the Italian’s engagement anymore. Jannik could understand that, even if it hurt, but that wasn't what pained him the most, it was that he had stopped talking to Jannik privately too. Maybe if the youngest had explained it to him… But he hadn't. He had cut Jannik out of his life when the Italian was at his lowest, when he would have appreciated his friendship the most.
***
Jannik felt in debt with Wimbledon for the second chance he had received after his latest match, so he locked in and focused on his game. His strategy basically consisted in exhausting himself physically so his mind wouldn't drift towards certain distractions. He won his match against Shelton, so he was now in the semifinals. He took a breather after going to the net and looked around. And he saw him. Carlos. His heart skipped a bit and he felt glad he had not seen him until the match was over; the Spaniard had already been looking at him, so it was inevitable that their gazes coincided. Carlos opened his mouth, like he wanted to say something to Jannik, but closed it the next instant, realizing they were too far away for the Italian to hear him, which made him look sad. At that moment, someone from the organization called Jannik for an interview, he went towards where he'd been told to move, but the corner of his eyes never leaving the other boy.
Carlos didn't move until Jannik’s duties were over, but when the redhead finished, he disappeared even before Jannik could think about going to him. The Italian was so confused, which wasn't new in his relationship with the Spanish boy.
***
Just before his sanction was made public, Carlos and him had become quite close and Jannik had found himself catching feelings for the other boy. Carlos had grown to become a very handsome guy and Jannik felt attracted to him, but it wasn't only that, no one had ever made Jannik feel as understood as the Spaniard had; they didn't talk every day, but Jannik found himself searching for excuses to talk to the boy more and more. And the thing was that he had started to think it could be mutual. Carlos also seemed to search random topics to write to Jannik, he had stayed up at terrible hours to speak with the Italian when he was away at a tournament; and there had been moments, moments when Jannik had found a matching smile to his in Carlos' face.
It had been quite long since they had seen each other in person, Carlos mentioned how he missed watching him play live, so the Italian planned to invite him to travel with him. It was then when everything went down. The news about the doping. Jannik closed himself to everyone, trying to isolate himself from everything. It wasn't until a couple of weeks later that he reached for his messages, expecting to read something from the Spaniard. There was nothing. Jannik felt weird he had hoped for support from his… friend? He thought he could consider Carlos his friend. He tried to think of different possible explanations for the lack of messages. Nothing sounded convincing. It was then when he looked at Carlos socials. There was a video. Nothing too cruel, if it had been from someone else, someone Jannik didn't care about; but from Carlos? It broke his heart.
The video had been uploaded a few days after the news broke, Carlos looked serious, which wasn't usual with him, he mentioned that many people had asked him about what he thought. Jannik didn't expect such a cold answer from him without even reaching out to him.
“In the end, he was positive but there are reasons for which they let him play that we are not aware of. So, there’s not much I can say about this topic. In the end, he declared himself innocent, he was judged innocent, so we are going to have him on tour. In truth, I believe I can not say much about it, since I don’t have much more to base my decision on”
The only thing Jannik wanted to do at that moment was to call the Spaniard and ask him why. Why didn't he call him? Why didn't he defend him? Did he truly believe that Jannik had done it on purpose? Or… Had he just never actually cared about him? Had he just been profitable enough for his socials that he had put up with Jannik’s friendship? He wanted answers, but at the same time, he didn't know if he would be able to stand them, so he picked up the pieces of his broken heart, put them under lock and did what he had to do, go out there and win.
***
Carlos bit his nails nervously as he paced around the door from which Jannik would end up appearing. He had tried to respect Jannik’s need for space and quiet when he had not answered his message but the last encounters with the tennis player were making him go crazy. Carlos was naive enough to think that the moment they saw each other everything would be back to normal. He missed Jannik; he missed looking at his phone and seeing a random text from the Italian, he missed looking for excuses to be the one sending him something, he especially missed face-timing him despite being in different time zones. That had been a recent development. Carlos felt extremely proud that Jannik trusted him like that. A couple of minutes later, the door finally opened and Jannik and his team appeared. The Italian couldn’t hide the surprise on his face at seeing the Spaniard there.
“Hey, you’re the kid that does the social media, right?, Carlos?” Asked Darren, recognising him, and who had been the first person coming outside and couldn’t see that Jannik was practically frozen behind him.
“Yes, hi, congratulations for the victory.”
“Thanks, kid, are you here to see Jannik?” It was at that moment that Darren ended up turning around to see the tennis player and saw him, a weird expression on his face, Simone right next to him looked confused too.
“I was hoping so.” Jannik hadn’t yet pronounced a word, so he found everybody’s eyes on him. When he was just about to say no, and add a bad excuse that everyone there would know it was a lie… “Please.” He looked up, Carlos’ expression was a bit pained, his big brown eyes bright like he would start crying at any moment.
“Yeah, okay, not here, tho.”
“Why don’t you go to the house, you’ll be alone there, since we were planning to run some errands”, Darren suggested.
“Yes, that will be fine, I’ll see you guys later.”
“Call us if you need anything, okay?” Said Simone after some awkward goodbyes, his face showing concern. Carlos couldn’t help wincing a little, realising they had never been this careful around him.
“Yes, thanks.”
***
They went to Jannik’s car in silence, Carlos following the Italian a couple of steps back. Once they were in the car, Jannik sighted loudly.
“What do you want?” Carlos tried to hide the pain he felt at those words, expressed with a mix of pain and distrust.
“I wanted to talk to you, I’ve wanted to do so for a while… I miss the time we used to speak almost daily…”
“I’m not a PR nightmare anymore?”
“What do you mean with that?” Carlos asked with what looked like genuine confusion.
“You say you miss talking to me like you weren’t the one who stopped doing it, in my worst moment, just when I had started considering you a friend and not some…” Carlos could not suppress a sob then. He had been trying to push down everything until that moment and he couldn’t do it anymore.
“I thought that you needed space! That I would be a bother and the last thing you needed at the moment! I thought that everybody would be trying to get to you to pry and I didn’t want you to think that I was like them! So I told myself that I would let you be the one to talk to me when you were ready!” He was fully crying then.
“But you’ve never been just anyone for me, Carlos! Do you think that I do everything I do with you with any other journalist or youtuber or whatever?” Jannik was shocked by what Carlos had said, and he realised that it actually would make sense from Carlos perspective, but had Jannik not been clear enough with Carlos for him to know he was special to him, that he would’ve never thought that he just wanted to get a scoop? “Am I such a terrible friend that you didn’t even realise that’s what you were to me?” This last question was barely a whisper.
“No! Oh, god, I’m so stupid! I’m so sorry, Janni, I just didn’t, couldn’t believe I would be important for someone like you, but you’ve always been amazing with me! Everything’s my fault! I didn’t support you when everybody was attacking you and I should’ve! I even recorded some videos for my socials but I didn’t know if they would help or just worsen everything… But I should’ve contacted you, just let you know I was there… I’m so, so sorry, Jannik!” The Spaniard just hid his face on his hands while he continued to sob uncontrollably. Just then the Italian realised that he was crying too and only then remembered that they still were at the players parking lot, thankfully, it was practically deserted.
“Carlos, I… Please, don’t cry. I assumed the worst, and I shouldn’t have… And then you wrote me a message and I didn’t answer it because once again I was thinking the worst and you didn’t deserve that…”
Carlos seemed to listen to what the Italian had just said, but it didn’t look like it consoled him at all, still sobbing into his hand while shaking his head as if saying “no”. Jannik didn’t know what to do. He dried the stray tears that were still running down his cheeks with the cuff of his hoodie and tried comforting the Spaniard, putting a hand on his shoulder, rubbing small circles. Finally, the youngest started to calm down, breathing more normally, he was still crying but the sobs recoiled until there were only some sparse and silent tears. He turned then to Jannik, who still had his hand on Carlos’ shoulder. The oldest searched in the glove compartment of his car for some tissues for the other boy, who muttered a “thanks”. Both of them remained silent for a couple of minutes more, both wanting to speak, but neither knowing what to say. It was the Italian who broke the silence first.
“Carlos, I believe you when you say that you were only trying to give me space, it still hurt me, but it’s not your fault that I didn’t make you feel like you could speak to me, I could’ve also contacted you, for that I can only blame myself and my stupid pride…”
“No! you don’t have to apologise! Jannik, you always treated me like a friend, it’s not your fault I was so insecure! And you were the one suffering a shitty situation, I should’ve written to you, I should’ve…”
“I think we can both agree on something”, said Jannik, interrupting the Spaniard once again “we both could’ve done things differently, but there’s nothing we can do about it now…” Carlos’ face fell again and Jannik felt a hint of pain at that “except from fixing things now.” Carlos lightened up at that, his big eyes bright and open in surprise.
“Really? You want to fix things with me?” The brunet looked like he was trying not to get his hopes too high, but failing completely in his purpose.
“Yes, Carlos, of course, I’ve missed you.” Jannik looked shocked at his own words, like they escaped his mouth without his permission, but he didn’t have much time to overthink it because suddenly the Spaniard launched himself at him, hugging the Italian over the gear shift. Jannik was so surprised that he wasn’t able to reciprocate for a couple of seconds, enough for Carlos to think he had made a mistake once again, that he had misunderstood everything, he froze for a second and then tried to sit back again already starting to apologise.
“Mierda, sorr…” It was then when he felt it, the redhead’s hands on his back, pushing Carlos back to him.
“Stop apologising.” The Italian said, rubbing soothing circles on the youngest back. Carlos melted, allowing himself to hug the other boy completely, grabbing the fabric of his hoodie with his fist. After months of no communication, he thought that he would never be able to do that, but there he was. He couldn’t suppress a sigh of relief. It was Jannik who broke the hug, but not the contact, keeping one of his hands on Carlos’ knee.
“So… we’re still in the parking lot…” Jannik said. Carlos opened his eyes widely in surprise, looking around like he had completely forgotten. Jannik couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “Do you have anywhere to go? If not… maybe we could go to the house I’ve rented and chill there? Maybe play some videogames?”
“I would love that.” Carlos smiled, and Jannik smiled back at him. They were both smiling when the Italian turned the engine on and, finally, they left the parking lot.
***
The evening at Jannik’s rented house was really nice for both of the boys; they didn’t do much, Jannik was tired from his match and both of them felt mentally drained after their conversation in the car. They played some rounds of Mario Kart and ate some snacks; at first, they didn’t really know how to start a conversation, not wanting to touch any sore spot, specially for the Italian, but after some time, the easiness of their conversation reappeared and they found themselves talking and laughing like they used to do. When it was getting late, the Spaniard knew he should leave, even if that was the last thing he wanted to do, but Jannik was in the semifinals of Wimbledon, and he had to rest.
“Well, I should go…”
“Yeah, it is getting late, but I had fun, I’m glad you came.”
“Yeah, I’m glad you invited me”. They both knew that they meant way more than just the time they had spent in the house. I’m glad we spoke, I’m glad we fixed things, I’m glad you’re back in my life”.
“Are you going to all the remaining matches?” Asked the tennis player when they were by the door.
“To the semifinal, yes, I was able to buy a ticket, the sponsor just covered until the quarter finals, I’ll be cheering for you!” He said excitedly.
“Oh, so you’ve finished the work you came to do?”
“Technically, yes, but I’ll still try to record and create as much content as possible”, he suddenly looked a bit nervous “in fact, I wanted to ask you if you would mind if I create content about you, until now I’ve tried to keep it at the minimum, but half of the footage and the draws of videos I have are about you” he blushed a little bit at that confession “but we were not speaking and I didn’t want to make things worse by doing something that could bother you.”
“Oh… Yes, of course. Mhm, it is a bit embarrassing to say it, but I kind of missed you talking about me on your socials, it kind of added to the spiral of me thinking you want to do anything to do with me…” Carlos looked shocked at that.
“Oh, Jannik! If you only knew how much content I did and never uploaded because I thought you would not want me to…”
“Yeah, let’s promise that from now on we’ll ask each other when we don’t actually know something, we’re pretty awful at guessing.” Said the Italian with a laugh.
“Yes, please” agreed the Spaniard, smiling.
“I’ll see you around then.”
“Yes, good night, Janni.”
“Good night, Carlos.”
***
The next day Jannik didn’t have a match, so his day was spent recovering and training for the semifinals that would take place the following day, the usual. What hadn’t been usual, at least for the last months, was finding a text from Carlos on his phone during a short break during his training session.
Buenos días! I just wanted to tell you that I’m very happy that we could finally talk. I really had a very nice time yesterday 😊😊 Have a good day and good luck for tomorrow!! 💪🎾🔥
Jannik couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his face and he responded immediately.
Ciao! I had a lot of fun too
Have a good day, you too, any plans for today?
Carlos' answer was almost immediate.
Today I’m staying at the hotel, editing and doing some remote work because tomorrow I want to be free 😁
Good! Then I’ll leave you to work, I have to get back to training too, Simone is starting to look at me impatiently
Good training!!! 💪💪
After reacting with a red heart to that last message (and trying not to overthink it too much) he went back to his coaches who were already waiting for him.
***
The day of the semifinal arrived, Jannik was a bit nervous, playing against Djokovic was always hard, but he felt ready. Maybe, a little contribution to the good mood he found himself in was the good luck message he had seen that morning from a certain Spaniard.
Good luck today!! Even if you don’t need it because you are playing amazing 🔥🔥 I will be cheering for you!! 💪
He had just answered with a quick grazie! before meeting his team to start the preparations for the day.
***
Carlos arrived early for the match. This match he was attending on his own, the collaboration he had done only lasting until the quarter finals, and he didn’t want to risk slow procedures impeding him watching anything so he found himself on his seat with still quite some time to spare. He entered Twitter and saw some clips the profiles of the ATP and Wimbledon had uploaded of Jannik preparing for the match. He realised that he was smiling stupidly at his phone and tried to put on a neutral face. Two days before they had finally solved things, but not only had they talked, the Italian had invited him to the privacy of his own home, trusting Carlos after everything. He still felt stupid for not having reached out to the tennis player when everything exploded. Jannik had apologised for not making it clear enough for Carlos that he considered him a friend, an equal, but the previous day, as he was reliving his evening with the tennis player, the Spaniard realised that Jannik had actually done it, and the only thing that impeded Carlos to see it where his own insecurities. It was his own mind who had told him that Jannik didn’t need him, that Jannik didn’t want him by his side.
However, when he thought about the last months of his relationship with the tennis player before everything blew up, he saw everything with a new perspective. Jannik was not as expressive as Carlos, but he showed that he cared in other ways. He always remembered when Carlos had exams or important jobs and asked about it, they spoke quite regularly even with how busy the tennis player was and the different time zones they were in. Not to mention the amount of content Jannik had provided for him even when it was something that the Italian did not particularly enjoy, but he had done it for him, to help him grow professionally. Carlos had been so caught up in his own feelings, feeling sorry for himself thinking that his crush on the redhead would never be reciprocated that he had completely failed in appreciating what he had, and what Jannik could have needed. He wanted to change that. And technically Jannik had given him permission to create content about him again. He waited until the players came out and when they were waving at the crowd he took out his phone. He couldn’t help but upload one last story, one to wish good luck to the Italian.
Many people had written to him during those past months asking about his relationship with the tennis player. His followers had been used to the Italian being one of the most, if not the most, featured players on his Youtube channel and Instagram. Some of them had not been nice, calling him a traitor for not publicly supporting Jannik, and he kind of agreed with them even though he didn’t do it because he didn’t want to provoke any more backlash against him. He also knew that some people would call him out for supporting him now. Nevertheless, he didn’t let it affect him, he wanted to support Jannik, so he was going to do it. The match was intense, but in the end, Jannik managed to win it in three sets. Carlos could see the expression on the Italian’s face, a mix of pride and pure happiness, he was in the final! Carlos was extremely happy for him. During the match he had recorded some more videos for his Instagram stories, but he couldn’t help himself and uploaded one more. When it was the moment for Jannik’s on court interview, he took his phone out and recorded a fragment of it, adding a short text before hitting the publishing button.
So, so happy for you! Congratulations on your first Wimbledon final!! So much deserved 💪
***
Jannik felt ecstatic, he had won the semifinal match, he was in the final. Everything after the match ended happened in a blur and before he could realise it he had finished his on court interview. He was about to leave for the locker room when he allowed himself to look at the stands searching for a certain face among the crowd. The court was still almost full, so it was impossible to locate Carlos. Even though he knew the Spaniard was there, he felt a flicker of discomfort not knowing where exactly. He entered the hallway towards the locker room where his team was waiting for him, all of them sporting proud smiles. After a round of congratulations, he went to shower and change; it was after that when he finally grabbed his phone again. He had many messages already, his family and friends congratulating him, there was also a message from Carlos.
CONGRATULATIONS!!! You are in the final!!!! You played SO well and you deserve it so much!! ♥️
Jannik couldn’t help but stare at the red heart. Carlos used emojis all the time, so he probably had just added it in a platonic way. Carlos probably used hearts with all his friends. Jannik felt stupid noticing how his heartbeat had picked up.
Gracias, Carlos! 😊
And after thinking a couple of minutes about it he added:
Are you still around? My team and I are going to do a little celebratory dinner. Nothing fancy since tomorrow I’ll be training, mostly a couple of videogames rounds, but maybe you’d like to join?
He didn’t have to wait too long for Carlos' answer.
Oh, I would love to, but I don’t want to be a bother 😅
I’m sure you’ll want to talk about your things and maybe the presence of an outsider will make them uncomfortable
Jannik frowned at that.
You’re not an outsider, you’re my friend
But then he realised that Carlos didn’t know much the people of his team, he had just crossed some words with them in the few tournaments the Spaniard had been able to travel to, so he quickly added:
But it’s okay if you don’t feel like it or if you’re busy
No!
Jannik was surprised by that fast negative from the brunet. He then saw the three dots appear, and disappear, and appear again.
I mean, I want to! It’s just that, what would your team think? What if they don't want me there? What if they don’t like me? I mean you are all professionals and I’m just a guy who posts on Instagram…
Jannik felt a wave of fondness towards the youngest. Was that really what Carlos was worried about? How could someone not like him?
I’m pretty sure they will like you
Pretty difficult not to
Jannik froze at his own message, he had written and sended it without thinking. He tried not to cringe and to think about something he could say to fix it when Carlos answered.
Where should I wait for you?
The Italian calmed down a bit after that, Carlos had accepted his invitation so maybe he had not thought that Jannik’s message was too weird. He sent a quick text to the Spaniard sending him a location and came out of the locker room to where his team was waiting for him.
“Ready to go?” Asked Darren, the tennis player nodded.
“Is it okay if I invite someone to come with us tonight?” He asked nervously, hoping for an affirmative answer, since he had already extended the invitation. His coach looked at him with a hint of suspicion in his eyes, but nodded anyway.
“Sure, if you trust them, no problem.”
“I do.”
“And who are you inviting?” Asked Simone, who had been less attentive than the Australian coach, reading something on his phone and looked just mildly interested.
“Carlos, he’s been a friend for a while, he is the one I sometimes do content with” he answered, feeling how a slight blush crept to his cheeks.
“Ah, yes!” Answered the Italian coach, still more interested on his phone than in the conversation. It wasn¡t the case of the Aussie, who, at the mention of the Spaniard, smirked and sent Jannik a look that the tennis player didn’t know how to interpret.
“Let’s go, then”.
***
Carlos had been waiting for just a couple of minutes by the time Jannik and his team appeared at the location the Italian had sent him. That was good, because he was spiraling. He was nervous, he had never crossed more than a few greetings in the past, since he wasn’t able to assist many tournaments in person, and he didn’t know if they knew about this months of no-contact. The thing was, those people were important to Jannik, so he wanted them to like him.
“Hey!” It was the redhead who greeted him first.
“Hola”, he said at the same time he waved “congratulations again! What a match!”
“Thanks!” And then as if he suddenly remembered “This is my team” he said as he introduced each of them by their name “and guys, you know it, but this is Carlos”, and then “let’s go, the cars are around here”.
When they arrived to the cars, Jannik was going to ask about the distribution when Simone spoke.
“Guys, you both go together, we’ll go in the other car. By the way, Carlos, I liked the pictures and videos you took!” And with that he entered the other car.
Carlos and Jannik stood frozen, the Italian confused, the Spaniard a bit embarrassed, next to the car Jannik would be driving for a couple of seconds, then Jannik opened his door and gestured to the brunet to enter the car too. He turned on the engine and started driving, it wasn’t until they were on the road that the redhead asked:
“What pictures and videos was Simone talking about?”
“Uhm, I have posted some stories.” Carlos answered a bit shyly.
“About the match?”
Carlos was about to say yes, but then even if he was a bit embarrassed, something on his gut made him say:
“Mostly about you, to be honest”
He then looked at Jannik and he saw his cheeks were rosy.
“Ah, mhm” the tennis player looked like he didn’t know what to say and Carlos started to panic a little bit, thinking that he had made him uncomfortable, but then “I really want to see them now.” He said, smiling sheepishly and giving a quick glance at the brunet, who couldn’t avoid smiling back at the other boy.
After that, they started chatting about Jannik’s match, a bit awkwardly at first, but quickly becoming an easygoing conversation as it usually goes for them. A few minutes later they were parking at the house followed by the other car just a minute later.
“Well, what if we eat first, I’m quite hungry” said Darren, the rest of them nodded in agreement. “Carlos, do you have any food allergies?” He asked, looking at the Spaniard. Carlos felt slightly intimidated by the man. It wasn’t that he had been unkind to him or anything like that, but he looked at Carlos like he was assessing him.
“No, it’s fine whatever you have” he responded, using almost all his willpower to hold the gaze of the man and not avert his eyes literally anywhere else.
“Okay, why don’t you get comfortable while the food gets ready?”
“Yeah” responded Jannik “I’ll go and change.”
At that moment, Carlos looked at his own outfit, he had wanted to look good, knowing that he would take some pictures and film some videos, but now he felt quite out of place with a button down and dressing pants and shoes. Jannik seemed to notice it because he walked towards the Spaniard and added before living to his bedroom:
“Carlos, would you like me to give you something comfortable to change into?” And the thing was, Carlos did want Jannik to lend him some of his clothes, not only to be more comfortable, but because he wanted to wear Jannik’s clothes.
“Yeah, if you don’t mind it, that’d be cool”.
“Of course, come” so he followed the Italian.
When they were in his room, the oldest opened the closet and took two pairs of sweatpants and hoodies, putting them on the bed. Carlos was expecting him to ask him to leave the room while he changed or something like that so he froze when he saw the Italian taking off his T-shirt right there. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed of changing in front of someone, in fact, he had never had a problem with it, it was just that part of him still viewed Jannik as some kind of idol, while the other part of him just had the biggest crush on the Italian. Unfreezing, he started changing too, trying to avoid looking too much at the tennis player. It wasn’t a successful mission.
“Ready?” Asked Jannik once both had changed.
“Yeah, let’s go”, responded Carlos.
***
Jannik did not regret offering Carlos some of his clothes so he would be more comfortable; however, he had not thought about the effect that it would have on him to see Carlos using his clothes. He had barely managed not to stare at the boy while he was changing, but the moment he saw that the boy had finished putting on the clothes and had looked at him and took a full look at the youngest… He was proud of himself for not having fainted at the sight, or jumped at the boy. Carlos looked incredibly soft in his oversized hoodie and Jannik just wanted to cuddle him…
GET. A. GRIP.
He had to put a stop at his thoughts or he would not survive to play his first Wimbledon final. When they came down to the kitchen, they were asked to set the table, and some minutes later they were all sitting at the table, eating. The conversation was light and easy, mostly about tennis and Carlos' job. When they finished the food, they moved to the living room where they played some rounds of Fifa and Mario Kart. Carlos seemed to forget his initial insecurity, laughing and interacting with ease. Jannik felt warmth in his chest at the sight of it. And then he scolded himself for it. He shouldn’t let his crush for the Spaniard grow, he didn’t even know if Carlos liked men! And they had just recovered their friendship, he couldn’t fuck up everything… But then Carlos turned around to him, smiling, putting his hand on Jannik’s knee because he had won the round, looking extremely cuddly in Jannik’s hoodie… And he knew, there was nothing he could do, he had fallen for the Spaniard, he had already fallen long ago, and not even months of no-contact had been able to undo it. He liked Carlos. He liked him so much. And he wanted Carlos there with him, in his first Wimbledon final, so in a moment in between games, taking advantage of Carlos being distracted by a video his brother, Mark, was showing him, he asked his team for a favour. Later, when Carlos’ uber arrived to take him to his hotel, Jannik walked him to the door and gave him an envelope.
“For you, if you want it, open it at the hotel.”
Carlos looked slightly confused, but nodded anyway.
“Okay”, and then, with a smile “good night, Jan”.
“Good night”.
***
Carlos woke up the day of the final still in disbelief, two days before, after arriving at his hotel room, he opened the envelope Jannik had handed him; it contained the credentials to assist to the Wimbledon final. He was overjoyed, but also extremely nervous. He knew how important this was to Jannik. Yesterday they had not talked too much, Jannik had given Carlos Mark’s number in case he needed something, the tennis player fully focusing on preparing today’s match. He opened the chat with the Italian and couldn’t avoid rereading their last messages.
JANNIK!!! You gave me a pass for the FINAL??? DIOS MÍO MUCHAS GRACIAS thank you so much 😭🙏
Haha, of course, no need to thank me
NO NEED TO THANK YOU???
Yes, no need to thank me
But Jannik!!! This is so big!! It is the Wimbledon final!! Your first Wimbledon final!!
And I want you there
Carlos can still feel the butterflies that seemed to invade his stomach reading that less than two days ago, and how his hands trembled while writing:
And I want to be there for you
Jannik had reacted with a heart to that message and the conversation had ended there until the following day, when the Italian sent his brother’s contact and they had just exchanged a few words later mostly about how their days had been. His fingers hovered a while over the keyboard he wanted to write a message to the Italian, but nothing seemed good, he was overthinking everything. In the end, he decided to keep it simple. Then, he got up and got ready, he had somewhere important to be.
Good luck today, I’ll be cheering for you ❤️
***
Game, set, match. Sinner.
Jannik raised his arms to the sky. He had done it. He was a Wimbledon champion. Everything was a blur after that very moment: going to the net to shake hands with his rival and the umpire, the speeches, the trophy ceremony… He found himself sitting alone in the locker room and took a breather. He had done it. His team would be here soon, to continue celebrating with him, but he appreciated the few minutes they gave him to be alone and process everything. He took his phone, he already had many messages congratulating him, he smiled at the sight of them, but postponed answering them and instead searched for a chat in particular.
DIOS MÍO JANNIK YOU DID IT!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 WIMBLEDON CHAMPION!!!
Jannik’s smile became even bigger, the Spaniard had written the message just a couple of minutes after the match had ended. The Italian didn’t allow himself time to second-guess the message he sent to Carlos. He had just won Wimbledon for the first time, he deserved to be a little reckless.
Come here
***
Carlos was patiently waiting in the queue to leave the court when his phone showed a notification, his whole body reacted to those simple two words. Come here. He had not expected the tennis player to even answer the text today. Carlos imagined that no matter the outcome of the final, Jannik would want to be with his team, so he was just planning to go to his hotel room. He definitely wasn’t expecting Jannik, just after winning a Grand Slam, texting him, much less to tell him to go with him. The people behind him told him to move, he hadn’t even realized that the queue had advanced. He took a moment to breathe and once he had finally exited the most crowded zones, he took out his phone.
How can I go there?
He was nervous, he was scared that he had waited too much to answer him (even if realistically it had just been less than five minutes), or that Jannik had maybe made a mistake and that message wasn’t actually to Carlos, that maybe he had clicked the wrong chat, thankfully, the Italian was quick to answer.
Go to the door where we met the other day, I’ve asked Simone to go there and come with you so there aren’t any problems
Carlos was still shocked. It was for him, the message was for him. Jannik wanted to see him just after winning his first Wimbledon. He rushed to the entry the Italian had told him; when he arrived, a security guard was about to stop him when he heard Jannik’s coach.
“I’m waiting for him, let him pass”.
The guard nodded and made a gesture for Carlos to go in. That was when he found himself face to face with Simone, who was looking at him with a smirk. Carlos, who was already flushed, got even redder. He thought that the Italian was probably wondering why Jannik had asked for Carlos. He couldn’t blame him. He was, too.
“Congratulations for the win.” Carlos said nervously, fidgeting with his hands and looking everywhere but the man.
“Thanks, man” Simone said smiling “let’s go to the locker room, we don’t want to miss the party”.
***
Jannik was waiting in the locker room, his team was ecstatic but their happiness was now showing in a calmer way. They had given the Italian a couple of minutes for himself. Suddenly, the door opened and Simone entered the room, followed by an excited but shy Carlos. Jannik stood up almost on instinct, but then stayed rooted to the floor, looking at the Spaniard who at the same time had frozen near the door. Thankfully, Simone had quickly gone to the area where the rest of the team was chilling, which was turning a corner, so there was no one to witness the awkwardness of the moment; both wanting to be close, both scared to be the first, of wanting more than the other. It was Carlos who moved first.
“Congratulations, Janni” he said, moving his hand to Jannik’s arm and smiling sweetly; “and thank you again for inviting me, I will never forget this day”.
Jannik looked at him, the Spaniard’s eyes shined with emotion, his hand was warm against Jannik’s arm. But it was his lips, curved on a smile that captured him. Carlos realized, which made him look at the redhead’s lips, too. Jannik’s arms moved on his own, his hands cradling Carlos’ face, who let a small gasp out of his mouth and looked again at the Italian’s eyes; this made Jannik turn his gaze to Carlos’ eyes again, in fear of having misinterpreted the situation, but even before that thought could begin to form in his mind, he felt hands grabbing his shirt; Carlos’ hands had moved to his lower back and they were holding onto him like that was the only thing keeping him tethered to Earth.
“Carlos…”, said Jannik, his voice barely a whisper. “I really want…” He was unable to finish the sentence. It wasn’t necessary anyways.
“Me too, Jannik, I’ve always wanted it.” He responded, his voice so low that it would’ve been impossible to hear it if they were not just centimeters apart. And it was the honesty in his voice, in his face, that made Jannik understand that it was true, he saw the want, the yearning and even a hint of pain, probably for the months of no contact they both had suffered for, just because they had not been able to communicate. Jannik decided that ended now; from now on, if he suffered it would not be because of the doubts, what use had hiding your feelings if your heart could break anyways? What he was about to do could end up with him being heartbroken, but not doing it felt irrevocably worse, so he finally closed the distance between both of them.
The kiss felt like nothing else, Jannik felt goosebumps and the heat of Carlos' hands, grabbing him. Carlos, who had imagined this exact moment more times than he was willing to admit, was almost overwhelmed by the real experience; all his senses could only focus on one thing: Jannik. They only separated when the need to breathe was imperative. Slowly, the Spaniard opened his eyes to find that the redhead was already looking at him. He didn’t know what to say, his mind was blank, the memory of the kiss still being the only thing he could conjure; but he was happy so he couldn’t hold back the smile that crept to his lips. Jannik kissed his nose, just a little peck, as he felt a wave of tenderness at that sight. Carlos stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the lips in return.
“Well, that’s definitely a way to congratulate me”, joked the tennis player.
Carlos felt the blush creeping to his cheeks.
“Jannik!” Both laughed. Suddenly they heard Simone calling for them from the other area of the room.
“Boys, Jannik has to continue with everything, are you coming?”
“Yes, coming!” Answered the Italian, raising his voice so the other man could hear him. “So, would you like to join me for the celebrations?” He asked, this time his voice lower, to the boy next to him.
“I would love that.”
Both boys smiled at each other. They knew they had lots of things to talk about, that it wouldn’t always be easy, but they felt the same, too, that it was worth the try.