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Nagito was Hajime's friend.
That was it. They were close, sure, closer than most, but nothing was ever out of the ordinary between the two. Nagito could be a little strange, but he understood boundaries perfectly fine, and was getting more keen on when Hajime was sick of his shit.
They were friends. That's all.
So why was today different?
The two had finished a quiet walk on the beach, like they had done every morning. It was peaceful to start the day with a sunrise, accompanied by the crashing waves and sand beneath your toes. Hajime felt like a person in a postcard here, living a storybook fantasy few could ever dream of.
"It's beautiful today, isn't it?" Nagito mused, his figure silhouetted against the orange sun. He gazed out at the ocean, pinks and peaches from the sky reflected in its glimmering water.
"You say that every day," Hajime sighs.
"It's beautiful every day, then." There's a smile in Nagito's voice as he speaks. Hajime traces the outline of his body with his eyes, making sure to memorize every curve. Why can't he look away?
He decides to join Nagito at the water's edge, their shoulders grazing as they meet. He greets Hajime with a smile, and their eyes lock. For some reason, Hajime's face feels hot.
"It's amazing that you take time out of your morning to spend with a piece of trash like me. You truly are a beacon of hope."
Hajime pulls his eyes away. "Stop calling yourself trash."
Nagito gets closer. Hajime ignores the flush forming on his cheeks.
"You care about me, Hajime?"
"Nah. It's just annoying."
They both crack a smile. Nagito is smart enough to know Hajime cares, even if he won't say it. The countless hours they've spent together speaks more than enough on their friendship.
"God, it's hot already." Hajime groans, stretching his arms above his head. "I wish summer would just end. It feels like it's been going on for months."
"That is usually how seasons work."
"Yeah, yeah," He scoffs. "I could go for a swim, though. Wanna jump in real quick?"
"Sure. Getting a little wet in the morning is good for your health, I've heard."
"You are so weird," Hajime mumbles to himself. But he's already pulling his tacky Hawaiian shirt off, fumbling with the buttons before he's standing only in his shorts. He tosses the top playfully at Nagito, who lets it smack him in the face.
"Huh? Did I say something strange again?" He smiles innocently, pulling the shirt off of his head "Sorry. You know I can't control myself when it comes to you."
"Just get your shirt off already," Hajime says. He's already knee deep in water, letting the cool waves brush over his legs. It feels relaxing, as it always does, cooling down the heat pooling in his body.
"So eager to see me naked," Nagito smirks, but obliges anyway. His back is turned to Hajime as he pulls his usual T-shirt over his head, insanely slow.
They've done this dozens of times before, but today is different. Somehow, it feels lewd. His best friend undressing right in front of his eyes, illuminated by the golden rays of the sunrise. Hajime is hyper focused on every inch of Nagito's bare torso, taking in as much as he can. His pale skin, his barely visible body hair, the little scars lining his arms. Their quiet intimacy reminded Hajime of those scandalous Victorian art pieces.
Today, Hajime wanted to take Nagito in whole. He wanted to wrap his hands around his waist and press their lips together, to kiss him until they were no longer breathing, to lay him down in the sand and rid him of his black jeans and checkered underwear, to...to...
God, what the hell was wrong with him? Hajime squeezed his eyes shut tight. No. No way. He couldn't think about this stuff. Not about his friend, not about another guy. That wasn't him. He wasn't gay, or anything like that, and he definitely wasn't into Nagito.
Yet he could feel the heat rising in his stomach, inching down to between his legs.
No.
"What's wrong, Hajime?" The now shirtless Nagito asks. "You're staring at me. Have you finally decided to get rid of me?"
"Wha... N..no, I..." Hajime chokes. Into Nagito or not, the last thing he wanted him to know was that he had a hard-on at the beach. "I, uh, f...forgot something at my cabin. I gotta go."
"What? Hajime? Hajime?!" Nagito called. Hajime didn't respond. He didn't think about anything as he ran back to his room, fully flustered and fully confused.
***
Hajime immediately collapsed into his bed, head aching from his thoughts. What the hell was that? In all their time together, nothing like that had happened before. Although Nagito occasionally flirted with him, he wrote it off as stupid jokes. They were just friends. There wasn't anything there.
Could Hajime be gay? No, there wasn't any confusion about his sexuality before today. He had always known his interest was girls, and with the way he thought about Chiaki at night sometimes, there was no doubt about it.
But why did that happen? He was all hot and bothered just at the thought of Nagito. Seeing him shirtless, like he did nearly every day, was enough to send him running.
God, what was even attractive about him? Nagito was probably the most obnoxious person he had ever known. He was weird, socially inept, and sometimes scary, with the way he talked about hope. Not to mention his freaky smile, pale green eyes, perfectly glowing skin, soft hands, the way his face crinkled when he laughed...
Hajime's dick throbbed.
Fuck.
This must be some mistake. Maybe he was spending too much time around him, and his brain was mixing up all of his feelings. Yeah, he just needed something to clear his head. Maybe a shower, with nice cold water. That would shock him back into normalcy.
But that thought of Nagito sprawled out under him, hands held above his head, looking up at Hajime with begging eyes was too much. He slid his hand into his pants, starting to stroke his already precum-soaked dick. God, he would regret this later.
It isn't long before he's going hard, running his hands over himself like some lunatic. Images of Nagito rush in, from his thin, nimble fingers to his quick tounge.
God, what he wouldn't give to have him here now, kissing his thighs, licking his shaft. He would do it with gratitude, too, so happy to serve Hajime in any way that he can. All he could think of was Nagito and the way those teasing eyes would look at him.
Every doubt he had about his feelings were gone. Now his mind was filled with him. How Nagito would praise him, telling him how good Hajime was doing and how perfect he was.
How Nagito would tease him, touching everywhere but his weeping dick, edging him to the point of insanity.
Then, how Nagito would beg for him, needily sucking on his cock as he whined for attention.
He came. Hard. Harder than he ever had before, actually. He was left a sprawled out mess on his bed, muscles still twitching from his release.
With a sinking feeling, he realized what he'd done.
Oh God.
He'd jerked off to Nagito. And he loved every minute of it.
Hajime let out a sharp sigh. First, he needed to get cleaned up, then he could process these incomprehensible feelings. He stripped off his soiled shorts and underwear, tossing them into the laundry bin haphazardly.
It was just now he realized that he had forgotten his shirt and shoes at the beach. Shit. He could always text Nagito to bring them back to his cabin, but he didn't know if he could face him again. He knew it would end in disaster, either from extreme embarrassment or unsatiated horniness. He definitely needed some alone time to figure out what was going on.
Which is why when the knock on the door came, Hajime let out a frustrated groan.
"One sec," He called, quickly dressing himself in clean enough clothes. It was probably Chiaki, asking for another game, or Akane, inviting him to a morning workout. In the worst case, it would be-
"Nagito."
"Sorry to bother you!" He said through a smile. "You probably don't want to see my ugly face ever again."
"What's up?" Hajime said cooly, choosing to ignore Nagito's infinite self-deprication. He had to be normal. At least, he had to pretend.
"Oh, well, you left your things at the beach," Nagito said, dropping the sandals and shirt into Hajime's arms. "I couldn't bear the thought of them getting dirty, so I thought I'd return them to you."
"Yeah, thanks. I was just about to text you about that, actually." He tossed the things to the side, trying not to think about how Nagito's fingers brushed against his skin.
Nagito smiles, as usual. "Of course. It's the least I can do for someone like you, Hajime." His eyes scan over his friends face, looking for anything unusual. He would be concerned, of course. It wasn't like Hajime at all to suddenly bolt like that, especially not from him.
Hajime inspected his face as well. His long eyelashes, high cheekbones, slim nose, slightly flushed cheeks, it all looked like a work of art to him today. Had he never noticed how pretty Nagito's face was? How was he so ignorant before?
"This is awkward," Nagito laughs, and Hajime realizes they've just been staring at each other. "I'll go."
"You can come in, if you want," Hajime says, and immediately regrets it. There was no way he could hide his attraction with just the two of them in private.
But maybe he could get some clarity. Nagito was definitely gay, so he could ask a few questions to understand himself better. He liked talking to him, too. They were friends, after all. Their conversation would surely put him at ease.
"Hajime's room? That's pretty scandalous," he smirked, kicking off his shoes at the front door.
"You've been in here, like, 50 times. You've slept in here before."
"No need to get defensive. I'm just joking."
"Yeah. Sure."
Just joking, huh.
Nagito finds a spot on the bed, sitting cheerfully as he watches Hajime settle next to him. Did he always look at him like that, with such intensity? What drew Nagito's gaze to him?
"Look, Nagito, I have kind of a dumb question."
"I don't mind at all. Most of your questions are dumb, and I answer them anyway!"
Hajime goes quiet. He doesn't really feel like getting belittled right now.
Nagito notices. "...What's wrong?"
"Uh, um." The words get stuck in Hajime's throat. He feels like a child again, like he's telling someone his deepest secret.
"How do you know, if you're, um... If you're gay?"
His voice is small. He can feel his face burning.
Nagito goes quiet. Hajime can't bring himself to look at him. What if this is all a stupid mistake? He was an idiot for bringing him into this. What was wrong with him?
"I always knew," Nagito says after a moment, and Hajime feels relief crash into him. "To be honest, I've never thought about dating before high school. But once I did, it didn't matter about the gender. I didn't particularly care about looks or anything, either. It only depended on how much hope they brought to this world."
A pause. Hajime thinks.
"That wasn't very helpful, huh? Sorry. I'm a pretty useless person, after all."
"No, I just... Sorry. I don't know." Hajime sighs. "I don't know what's going on with me."
"Well, why don't we try it?"
"Huh?"
"There must be someone here who's willing to experiment. Maybe Kazuichi, or Nekomaru? You could ask them to try things with you." Nagito smiles, as if what he said was perfectly normal. Hajime was so flustered he felt like he couldn't breathe.
"N-no way! I could never ask them to do something like that. If anyone, I'd want it to be you-"
Hajime put his hand over his mouth. How did he not realize what he was saying?!
Nagito gives him a blank stare. "I think I misheard you. What did you say?"
He sighed. There wasn't any turning back now, was there? If he was gonna fuck a dude, he was gonna fuck Nagito.
"I'd rather try it with you."
This time, he really looked concerned, and Hajime wondered if he messed it all up again. Nagito took him by the shoulders, holding him a lot tighter than he had ever before.
"Why? Why would you put yourself on the same level as a roach like me?" He stared into Hajime, deadly serious. "I can't let you. I can't let you soil yourself with my body."
"Woah, Nagito, calm down." Hajime gently took his hand off of his shoulders. "You're not going to ruin me. You're my friend. If we're gonna try it, I want to try it with you."
That seemed to break Nagito. He sat there dumbfounded, searching Hajime's expression for any traces of deceit. When he couldn't find any, he buried his face in his hands and let out a sound that was between a laugh and a choke.
"Keh... Hahahahaha! Is this a dream? No way... Hajime really wants to be with someone like me... I'm so lucky, so truly lucky..."
"Um, hey," Hajime started, once again stumbling over his words. He never knew what to do when Nagito got like this. It kind of scared him, really. In the heat of the moment, all he could think of was to pull the shaking Nagito into his arms, awkwardly patting his hair.
Hajime couldn't help but flush again at the sudden contact. Their skin pressed together so lovingly was enough to bring that heat back into his stomach. Some sick part of him wished they could stay like that forever.
Nagito pressed his head into Hajime's chest, listening to his heart pound. "Hajime," he mumbled, "I want you to use me."
"What?"
"Use me. Please." His voice was whiny as he begged. Hajime felt himself growing in his underwear. "Tie me in chains. Make me your slave. Anything... anything to make you happy."
It was then Nagito looked up at Hajime. He was covered in sweat, a thin line of drool dripping down his chin. His eyes had that terrifying look in them as he stared at him, a mixture of unyielding love and intense devotion.
He had completely lost it.
And Hajime was so turned on.
"...Okay," He whispered, and pulled Nagito up to kiss him.
Nagito was probably the neediest kisser Hajime had ever seen. He devoured him immediately, grabbing the sides of his face and forcing their mouths together. At first it was uncomfortable, teeth clacking together and faces too squished. But soon they eased into it, making out like they were made for each other.
Nothing had ever felt this good to Hajime before. He wanted Nagito so deeply, and watching him melt into such a mess in front of him felt like a dream. Each little whimper and groan from him sent him closer and closer to paradise.
Hajime didn't know if he could control himself anymore. His hand began to aggressively palm his erection, feeling the wetness of precum through his pants. His mind clouded again with the thoughts of fucking Nagito dry, pounding into him until neither of them could think straight.
Nagito broke the kiss, and Hajime whined at the lack of contact. He started to wonder who was really in control here, from the way he followed his friend's every movement.
"Do you want me?" Nagito whispered, breath caressing Hajime's lips.
"I need you," he pled back.
Hajime's pants and boxers were off faster than he thought was possible, leaving his bottom half completely bare. Nagito wasted no time as he squeezed his length, tongue lapping lazy circles around his head.
"Oh my god," He moaned, bringing his hand up to his mouth. That warm, beautiful feeling of having a mouth around his cock was making him crazy. He thrusts helplessly against Nagito, who takes it as a sign to take more of him inside.
"M...more, please, I...I need... Mmh..." Hajime groans. Nagito obeys perfectly, matching his speed to Hajime's erratic thrusts. He whines softly as he takes in more, making Hajime's head spin with arousal. He was nothing but a sweaty, panting mess playing into Nagito's hand.
In this moment, Hajime was the happiest man alive. Nothing could compare to the bliss he felt now, being fucked by his best friend. He was so obedient, so observant, each twitch or whimper immediately taken into account. Nagito was completely and utterly focused on Hajime's pleasure.
He never wanted it to stop.
He had taken him entirely now, sloppily sucking and licking all over his length. He seems to be taking as much pleasure from this, if not more, than Hajime is. He wonders if he feels the same way, so eager to receive pleasure from his friend. Both of their moans tell them the answer.
He easily gets close to his climax, feeling his muscles tense with anticipation. "I'm gonna...I'm gonna...fuck, I'm- "
His orgasm flows out of him, filling his mind with ecstacy. Nagito fucks him through his release, making it grow and grow until Hajime feels like he's going to pass out from pleasure. Nagito gratefully swallows every last drop, gently laying his head onto Hajime's stomach once he's had enough.
"How was it?" He asks innocently.
Hajime could only groan back. He didn't know sex could feel that good. He'd pleasured himself often enough, but having someone else do it, and so skillfully too, was a completely different world. He ran his hands through Nagito's hair. Surely there was something he could do in return...
"You seem so happy, Hajime. I wish I could make you feel like that, every second of every day." He murmured. "Making Hajime happy... That's all I want..."
"What about you?" Hajime asked.
"What about me?"
"Can I make you feel good, too?"
Nagito laughs like he's joking. He isn't.
"Seeing you like this is all I need." He smiles.
Hajime sits up, propping the half-dazed Nagito up along with him. "There's gotta be something I can do for you." His eyes settle on the very noticable bulge in Nagito's pants.
"Ah, I can deal with that later. You really don't need to-"
"I can do it now." Hajime states plainly. "C'mon. It looks like it hurts."
"Hajime... You really are too kind..." Nagito looks at him like he just found world peace. He can't help but blush.
"Yeah, whatever. Let's just do it." He unzips his friend's jeans, making him shiver from the vibration. It takes him much longer to slide off his bottoms than it did before, but Nagito doesn't seem to mind. He looks at Hajime with that same needy, loving, deranged look in his eyes. The one he would remember forever.
It kind of came as a shock to see how big Nagito was. He'd seen the outline in his swimsuit before and expected something on the larger side, but this was huge. And he was probably the only one to see it, other than Nagito himself.
"Damn," Hajime said, impressed. He couldn't help but be a little jealous. “I'm probably not as good at the mouth stuff, so..."
"Do anything you want to me."
Hajime blushed. "Um... Okay."
To be honest, his mind was completely blanking on what to do. He'd seen porn before, so he understood the general idea, but somehow everything he'd learned slipped away. Plus, he'd never thought about doing it with another guy... Hajime wasn't entirely sure how it worked.
But he had to start somewhere, right? He was sure Nagito would be happy with whatever he did. He pulled the thinner boy onto his lap, who was still smiling from ear to ear. Seeing him so happy relaxed Hajime, if only a little.
Hajime pressed his hand into Nagito's crotch. The first thing he could do was try and get a feel for him, both literally and figuratively. Finding his most sensitive areas would do him some good.
To his amusement, Nagito seemed to be sensitive everywhere. Even the slightest brush of his fingers made him whine. It was kind of fun, to watch him writhe at his touch. He wondered what would happen if he added some pressure...
"Nnh, aah..." Nagito shivered. A significant wet spot had already formed in his underwear.
"I haven't even started yet. Don't get so worked up." Hajime teased as he gave Nagito's dick another squeeze.
"S..sorry... Mmn... I'll do whatever you say, Hajime... Please..."
"Please what?" Hajime leaned in closer. His mouth was against Nagito's neck, each word grazing his skin. He felt a sick satisfaction, seeing his friend so submissive like this. This time, he was going to use him. To toy with him. To break his mind as Nagito did to him so many times before.
“Please,” his voice was nothing but a harsh whisper now, “Use me.”
Although that somehow turned Hajime on even more, he decided to take it slow. To push the needy, pent up Nagito past his breaking point. He kissed his neck ever so gently, barely making contact with the skin. His hand still gingerly squeezed him. Pathetic little whimpers rolled out of his mouth like drool.
“How should I use you?” Hajime whispers back.
“Fuck me,” he groans. “Until my body breaks. Until I die. Completely destroy me, Hajime… please… please, please, please…”
Nagito jaggedly rolls his hips into Hajime, looking for any friction he can get. He looks so adorably useless like this. Hajime decides to torment him more by slipping a hand up his shirt, tracing nimble fingers up and down his sides. He's so hard it hurts. He doesn't know how much more he can take of this, either. They're both so tense, impossibly so. He had to release this energy.
“You're pathetic,” Hajime grunts, sliding Nagito's underwear off. Soon, he's rubbing the two of them together, precum spilling out of both of their tips as they slide against each other.
“Ah.. ah…ah… Hajime…” Nagito exclaims in pleasure. He's struggling to keep himself upright as he shakes, needily grinding himself into Hajime's dick. Drool is running down his chin now and Hajime can tell his mind is going blank. “So lucky… I'm so lucky to… aah…”
“Keep going,” Hajime grunts. His words are sounding more and more lewd now, each sound he makes becoming closer to a moan. He wants to hear what Nagito thinks of him. Every single sinful thought.
He keeps rubbing against Hajime, still looking at him with those delusional eyes. “Every night I…nnh… I think of you… how much I need you… hahahaha, how lucky I am… I never thought I would see you like this…”
Hajime is a bit taken back by that. To have someone think of him every night, touching himself to him. Yesterday he would've found it weird, but now, he can't get enough of it. Nagito, jacking off to the mere idea of him… the thought of it made him high with pleasure.
Nagito keeps going. “I… I always thought of you taking control… mnh… just like this… holding me close and…and having your way with me… aah, I can't believe this isn't a dream… being used by you is… nn.. the greatest wish I could ask for…”
“You never shut up, do you?” Hajime teases. He moves his mouth back to his neck, sucking and lapping at his friend’s pale skin. If Nagito wouldn't shut up on his own, he would have to make him.
Hajime starts going faster. The sound of Nagito's whimpers quicken too, and he feels the heat rise in his body. This feels so damn good. Even if he probably wasn't doing it right, the intense satisfaction was enough to overcome any insecurities he had. Turning the usually smug Nagito into a submissive mess was pretty gratifying, too.
“Mnh, aah… H..Hajime, I…” Nagito pants. He looks high, completely lost in the feeling of being fucked out of his mind by his best friend. He could barely form a sentence now. It was only a little more until his brain stopped working completely.
“Spit it out.” Hajime demands, making another wave of pleasure shoot through Nagito. He can tell that they're both getting close.
Nagito can't do anything but moan. Any word he tries to say is eclipsed by that breathy whine, begging him for more. “I'm… gonna…” he barely manages through rhythmic huffs. “Hajime….I… ahh… I lo…”
He comes in waves, his release dripping out all over both of them. Hajime follows soon after, finishing with a groan.
Nagito collapses into Hajime's chest, soft hair tickling his still sensitive skin. Both of them are completely exhausted. Hajime is surprised Nagito stayed upright for that long, honestly. By the way he was shaking he expected him to pass out a while ago.
The two stayed there for a while, clinging to each other. Hajime drifted in and out of consciousness as he tried to support Nagito. The only thing that kept him awake was the thought of what they just did.
Hajime just had the best 3 orgasms of his life in a row and all of them were from Nagito. Whatever sort of strange lust had possessed him today he couldn't help but be grateful for. He felt like a new world had been opened for him, one that would surely play on his mind when nighttime came around.
Damn, he really just fucked Nagito and felt good about it. What happened to him?
He could think about it later. Right now, he should think about the boy in his arms and how they were both completely soiled. He needed to do something about that before they started to reek.
“Are you okay?” He murmured, gently nudging Nagito with his hand. He felt bad waking him up.
Nagito's eyes blinked open slowly. “Mm..? Hajime…?” He groaned, his voice sleepy and still insanely attractive. “What are you doing..?”
“Waking you up. We just, well.. uhh.” Hajime couldn't find the words. “You know.”
“So that was real, huh? Hahaha… how embarrassing for me. Telling my deepest secrets to you…” Nagito snuggled close to him again. “I can only ask that you don't tell everyone else.”
“Of course I won't. As long as you don't tell anyone about me.”
“Don't worry. Even if I did, nobody would believe me.”
Yeah, that was probably true. No matter how close they were, nobody expected Hajime to be gay, let alone be with Nagito.
“Oh, uh, don't go back to bed. Let's clean up first, okay?” Hajime attempted to prop up the half asleep Nagito, who lazily leaned back into him. “I'll help you in the shower.”
“You're so wonderful, Hajime,” Nagito muttered into his shoulder. Hajime was grateful for all of the workouts he's done. He nearly had to drag his friend into the shower with him.
The water was hot as he flicked it on, coming out at the perfect pressure. Clarity about their situation came as the water hit Hajime's skin, who turned a bright shade of pink. He just had sex for the first time. And now he was naked in the shower with another person.
Nagito was starting to wake up, too. Instead of becoming contemplative like Hajime had, though, he seemed completely blissed out. He wondered how long he was waiting for something like that. Too long for Hajime to imagine, that's for sure.
“...is the, uh, water too hot?” Hajime said awkwardly. He had no idea what to do in a situation like this. Plus, only one of them could fit under the shower head at a time, so he was stuck shivering on the sidelines…
“No, it's the perfect temperature!” He said with a smile. “I wouldn't mind if it wasn't, anyway. But I do have to ask… is this all you have?”
Nagito holds up a men's bottle of 3-in-1 shampoo/body wash/conditioner. Hajime cringes.
“Shit. Uhh, I might have something else in my cabinets, let me look.” Hajime embarrassingly stumbles out of the shower and into the bathroom, dripping water everywhere. With a little digging, he discovered two travel sized bottles of orange scented shampoo and body wash. This would have to work, he supposed.
“Sorry,” He grumbled, walking back into the shower. “This isn't going as well as I hoped.”
“I've been in much worse situations,” Nagito laughed. He was completely soaked now, his skin shiny, hair sticking to his forehead and shoulders. He looked beautiful.
“Here. At least let me wash you, or something.” Before waiting for an answer, Hajime took some of the body wash in his hands and began lathering Nagito's back. He flinched. Hajime pulled back.
“Its okay,” Nagito murmurs.
Hajime does, easing into it this time. He rubs light circles across his skin, gently caring for his scarred body. After a bit, Nagito loosens up. His shoulders fall, and his head drops to his chest. The only sound he makes is deep, quiet breathing.
It's peaceful. Hajime wants to do this for the rest of his life.
“Are you a virgin?” He asks. “Well, were you a virgin, I guess…”
“Before today, yes.” Nagito responds. His voice is so gentle. “I'm so happy my first time was with you, Hajime. I wouldn't want anything else.”
“Yeah,” he mumbles. Hajime was happy too, although it would take a while before he could admit it.
Instead, he lathers up shampoo between his fingers and massages it into Nagito's unkempt hair. He hears a quiet little sigh as his friend's eyes close, content from the feeling of being so cared for.
Hajime doesn't think he's ever heard Nagito this quiet. Usually he's taking his ass off, either mocking Hajime or praising that stupid hope he loves so much. Has he really tired Nagito out to the point of shutting up? That would be quite an achievement. Too bad he can't tell anyone about it.
“There you go,” Hajime says as he rinses the remaining suds out of Nagito’s hair. “If you want to get out, that's fine. There should be towels hanging up across from the sink, I think the green one is clean.”
Nagito doesn't budge. “Turn around.”
Hajime obliges. He could hear the click of his body wash opening and the rubbing of Nagito's hands, patiently awaiting the feeling of soap on his back.
Nagito was gentle as he washed Hajime, uncharacteristically so. Each movement he made was so calculated to his needs, giving attention to every single delicate part of him. He lost track of time as his friend tended everything, from his legs to his face to his hair. He doesn't remember feeling so loved before.
“Hajime.” Nagito spoke, finishing the last of his cleaning.
“Mm?”
“I want you to never talk to me again.”
“What?!” Hajime was now fully awake. He spun towards Nagito, accidentally flicking stray water droplets at him. “What the hell?”
“Never talk to me again. Are you so dumb that five words confuse you?”
“What? No! Just… what??” Hajime growls in frustration. “Why? What's wrong with you?”
“It won't be hard,” Nagito states. His voice still carries that chipper lilt to it. “I'm a disgusting, pitiful excuse for a human being. There's no reason for me to be around you. Since we're both useless scum that leech off of others, it's best that we don't get too close to each other.”
“There's no way I'm doing that. Why are you being a dick?” Hajime grabs one of Nagito's wrists, hard. It's shaking underneath his fingers.
“Plane crashes. Car accidents. Robberies. I've told you the stories, right? The gruesome, despair-filled ends of all my friends and family. And you're not special, Hajime. You're just a stepping stone, a means to an end. You're like me.”
They meet eyes.
For the first time, Hajime sees fear reflected back at him.
“...The misery of your death… I don't think I'll be able to take it.”
There's another quiet moment between them. Hajime lets go of Nagito's wrist, letting their fingers fall together. The quiet stretches on for eons. They stare at each other, unmoving.
He doesn't know what to say. Nagito had never said anything like that to him before. Honestly, there were times Hajime didn't think Nagito cared about him at all beyond some surface level respect. To have him say something like that straight to his face was close to impossible. Nagito really worried about him that much…?
And maybe he was right. Maybe Hajime would become another corpse at Nagito's feet. How miserable would it be to become a victim of chance? To have his legacy be another source of pain for an already miserable boy?
But today he was alive. And if this day was the only one he had left, he would risk his future to live it.
Hajime takes a deep breath.
“...I didn't think you were that stupid.”
“Huh?”
“You aren't an idiot, Nagito. So why do you think I'm gonna leave you?” Hajime wraps their hands together, staring Nagito dead in the eye. His voice was intense now. “I'm not going to die. And I'm not going to abandon you, either. I’m not gonna lose to some dumb bad luck.”
“Heh…Hahahaha!” Nagito laughs, seeming relieved. “Wow, Hajime! We're more alike than I thought, if you'd throw your life away that easily.” He runs a hand through his friend's prickly hair with an unreadable smile. “And it's not so bad, having to look at you every day.”
Hajime smiles back. He's still worried, of course, both about him and his friend(lover?). But they could talk about this later. He thinks he's had enough emotional whiplash for one day.
“Yeah, yeah. But, uh, we should get out. Someone's gonna yell at me for using all the hot water.”
“Right.”
The two boys stumbled out of the shower, using each other as shaky support. They were both completely wiped out from their experiences that morning, but there wasn't any use in them sleeping the day away. Maybe they could find something in the restaurant to snack on, if the others hadn't eaten everything already.
“You can wear my clothes, if you want. I'll wash yours with my laundry today. We're about the same size, right?”
“I'm surprised, Hajime,” Nagito smirked, pulling his underwear and a pair of his friend’s jeans onto him. “You aren't concerned with others seeing you in my clothes?”
“You had my dick in your mouth like 30 minutes ago. I don't think it really matters.” Hajime had changed into another one of his stupid Hawaiian shirts. It felt kinda good seeing Nagito in his clothes, for some reason. Like he was his, and his only, or something dumb like that.
“Yeah, true. What do you say we get something to eat? I'm starving, actually.”
“Me too. Brunch okay?”
“Anything, as long as it's with you.”
“Cut the cheesy stuff,” Hajime blushed, shoving Nagito playfully.
Yeah, there might be something strange about him. Putting his life in danger for an insane, terminally ill man probably wasn't the smartest idea hes had.
But looking at the way his best friend smiled, his eyes glistening in the summer sun, he knew everything would be alright.
Fin.