Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Zoro never cared much about his mark – everyone has it, human at least. A pattern on your skin that matches someone else alive that’s supposed to be your match. One of few things he remembers talking to his parents about are the three shapes lined down his side, trying to make out what they are and grandmother singing about peaches of immortality, symbol of protection. Zoro was gonna protect his soulmate no matter what, obviously, but that just cemented it.

Then the village was attacked and his father died. An honourable death, that’s all he remembers of grandfather’s voice. The words of honourable death that would echo in his head anytime he glimpsed an arrow-mark soul mark of anyone in the village, matching the arrow that his father had turned to take into his arm instead his back. Arrow that went right through his flesh and between and reached his heart – scars were the swordsman’s shame, after all.

Die in honour over living in shame.

His family died, dishonourably, filthy and sick in their home. Kuina died, miserable and alone, in a nothing accident.

Zoro had no interest in honourable death – honourable life held much worth to him and caring properly for his match should he find one simply feel under that.

Then he landed in Shells Town and met Luffy and, well, many things stopped making sense after that. Some clicked right into place right though.

Zoro’s never been the most trusting and it served him well in life. It’s why Nami taking off doesn’t hurt him like it does Usopp and Luffy. The cook might’ve proved himself well enough by fighting Don Krieg’s crew when Zoro was out, sure, but he also proved himself a soft-hearted fool that fell for a hungry mouth and fluttering eyelashes long before that. It’s not something Zoro begrudges him, exactly, but something he knows will bring trouble, so he’s keeping an eye on the cook the same way he does on the other three members of his crew.

He’s watching Sanji, his eyes wide and face baffled at hearing Zoro talk about forsaking his life in pursuit of Mihawk, and that’s where he sees it. The cook shakes his head, muttering something about him being an idiot after all as he turns to leave, hand going to mess up his hair. For a moment, his fingers move the hair at his nape just right to uncover a mark. A line of three fruit, ones Zoro could redraw blind and asleep if ordered to, matching the three fruit on his right side.

Zoro’s fingers tighten where they hang loosely around the hilts of his swords, forearm slipping off the table to press against his side. His lungs unknot themselves feeling the familiar knit of his haramaki, as if he needed to check it hadn’t been blown away, uncovering their match for all to see. Right here on his pale skin, black lines he knows all too well, tying them together.

He wishes he was enough of a coward to blame it something. He never runs from things, and he never planned to run from his match either. He had more than enough reasons to think over the years whether whoever out there would even want him. After he watched mother wither away to death after father was gone, well, it made sense he should earn them somehow, doesn’t it?

Zoro is a street rat with a sharp language no one else speaks, so he learns the common one and works any job around to keep himself fed. He takes up a job to hunt down scum like those who killed his father and made his village forever carry the soul mark of the wound that killed him, branding them in grief and gratitude. It’s part of why he hesitates before joining Luffy – pirate hunter is one thing, it’s still work despite skirting the law, but pirates are truly criminals. Could he drag his match into such a life?

Someone on the same crew being his match seemed too good a coincidence, so he didn’t even consider it. Now he’s not sure if he should, if only to avoid disappointments. While most have preference for men or women, few have aversions given the soulmarks don’t really give you any choice in the matter, but he saw how the cook acted around Nami.

He doesn’t really have an answer when he duels Mihawk. He only has the weight of the world on his shoulders, Kuina’s promise and Luffy’s trust pressing down on him, bending him to try and see if he breaks. A blade smaller than his palm passes his own swords, and it stabs right into his chest with so little effort Mihawk might as well be fighting him asleep.

He stays upright. He can’t break.

Luffy’s voice fuels him as much as it takes his breath away. An unshakable faith he was given once already, and what has he done with it other than squander it, letting Kuina die on his watch? He squanders it again still, two swords breaking in his hands, the last remnant he has of his family gone. There is only Wado Ichimonji left, sun glaring off the metal just like she would’ve, and he would not survive seeing it shatter as well, so he sheathes it.

Zoro won’t squander his soul match on top of everything though, turning back to face Mihawk and his black blade that sucks in all the light like it’s trying to consume the world itself.

“What?”

“Scars on the back are a swordsman’s shame” he repeats words he said many times, words he learned from his father and grandmother. He always understood them before, even if he was bitter his father would choose death over scarring his back. He never truly understood them, not until now.

With his mark safely out of harm’s way, he moves his arms to the sides and smiles at his death.

Things are blurry, after that. It’s pain and saltwater, his head pounding and lungs burning as he drifts – trying to force his scattered thoughts into focus – licking at the edges of his pain to find out the clean seams – where it ends, how close it is to his mark – safe, untouched and unbroken. He couldn’t bear it if he ruined it.

His back hits the deck and air escapes his lungs in a gasp, leaving none for the screams burning at his throat to be let out.

“It’s obvious! Drop that ambition before it kills you!” Sanji’s scream runs through him like lightning, the burning mark on his side helping him hold his arm upright like steel as new colours bloom over the palm of his hand.

“I swear! To never lose again!” He makes a vow, another weight to carry to his death and beyond, but it settles much more comfortably this time right next to his promise to Kuina. There is less vicious anger at the world this time, only spiteful certainty burning in his gut. There is no grief wrenching his heart into a knot so twisted no blade would cut it. Only a burning need to make sure his soulmate never sounded that desperate, that tears don’t drip off his words again.

Not over him.

The pain, he could always deal with, but the damn fever and the way it made everything foggy was what he truly hated. Made his own body move like someone poured melted sugar into his joints. Was it molasses?

Cook would know…

“Think logically!” The octopus keeps blabbing and Zoro squints to force his vision into focus on the glare of his swords. “How’re you gotta beat my six swords with only three?!”

Zoro blinks and shifts into a proper stance, Mihawk’s words echoing in his head, muddled like he’s speaking underwater. Damn fever.

“Screw your logic – it’s wrong.” He grinds his teeth against the sword in his mouth. “It’s not the swords. It’s what weight you put on them.”

The octopus does get it and it can’t aim worth a damn either, so of course it resorts to cheap tricks. Even if Zoro cared for plotting like he’s blinded by the pain and then the glare of spinning blades, his arms won’t move and the blades are too close and he might die, except-

He cannot.

He cannot die, so he forces his useless limbs to move and the borrowed swords to follow Wado’s lead until they parry the whirlwind awaiting him. As promised to Kuina, he’s not dying before he’s the strongest in the world. For his vow to Luffy, he’s not dying until he sees him become Pirate King. For fate’s fickle choice of pairing him to Sanji, he’s not ever dying when he’s between him and the enemy.

Arlong, of course, has other plans.

Dying at Sanji’s side sounds nice.

Nami comes back. He doesn’t get all what they’re talking about through the ringing in his ears and the blurring of his vision. He can make an easy guess: Arlong’s the type of lazy scum to try and blackmail her right back to spare himself the effort. He watches her still, waiting to see what decision she will make.

Luffy picked his navigator after all. He can’t hear what she says either, but sees her smile.

It says all he needs to know.

He tightens his hold on his swords, and then there is water splashing and a rainbow. He blinks a few times and rubs his forehead over the cold stone to try and fight back against the fever, but after that hears Luffy screaming.

“Finally!” Sanji’s sounding relieved too and Zoro feels something uncoil in him at the sound of his voice alone. “Now we just gotta free his legs!”

It takes Zoro a moment to force his thought into figuring out what it means, but then he grins.

“So that’s it…” he bits down on his sword and forces his legs to hold him up again. “Half a minute.” He lies and swallows back bile rising at the back of his throat. He can’t promise five seconds, let alone thirty.

“More than enough!” Sanji’s grin as he responds is worth it.

He can’t die, so he must stay alive. Luffy’s becoming Pirate King, Sanji’s finding the All Blue, and Zoro’s becoming the world’s strongest swordsman or he won’t be worth standing beside them.

He’s not dying no matter what nonsense Arlong is spewing. Ah, why can’t he breathe? No, it’s Luffy who can’t breathe. Sanji’s down to get him out. Stupid octopus.

“Should’ve stayed down…” he smirks.

“Laughing at your own pathetic state?” Arlong shakes him with a snarl.

Zoro’s wound has reopened and the blood is dripping everywhere. His haramaki sticks to him and the movement shifts it up, pulling at the staples. He doesn’t scream and bites off a piece of his lip instead.

He’s not giving the fish freak that joy.

“Is that a mark?” Arlong laughs and Zoro looks down to focus his eyes on him. There is blood dripping into one, but he ignores it. “No such thing among fishmen, obviously – we’re not weak enough to need tying up with strangers just to stay alive!”

“Weakness? Clueless mutant.” Zoro chokes out a laugh and grins as Arlong tightens his fingers around his throat. He forces down a swallow and warbles out through gritted teeth out: “Never a weakness. Needs my help – my strength. How useless if you don’t deserve them?”

He knows some people view soulmates as a weakness, as someone tying them down or holding them back. He always thought them cowards and idiots. How could someone you love and care for ever be a weakness?

Not Sanji. Not him. Never him.

He hopes he’s not out of the water yet and didn’t hear it.

Luffy’s screaming rings in his ears, and he cranes his head back to try and see him.

“Always late.” He hisses out. The edges of his vision blur and he debates if it’s worth wedging a sword under Arlong’s hand to make him let go while he’s distracted.

As he’s starting to learn with Luffy, he doesn’t get time to think it through before the moron is stretching his arms and grabbing Zoro for a swap. He tries his best to brace for impact and sheaths Wado so it doesn’t get damaged.

Still in the air, he squints and tries to look for the bright yellow of Sanji’s hair, and he thinks sees it behind the wall of the Arlong park. He closes his eyes and lets himself fall after that.

If this doesn’t kill him, he’s gonna murder his captain.

Zoro still doesn’t know what to do with Sanji when he wakes up after the battle or when he gets patched up by an actual doctor or even as they celebrate. He plans to watch how the cook behaves on the ship and then decide what to tell him and even if. How people behave in public is different than in private.

That’s how he excuses Sanji having no reaction to seeing his mark, at least. It was unavoidable as they were both dragged to the village’s doctor for some actual medical care, the only difference being Sanji was bribed with Nami’s sweet words and Zoro with unlimited booze at the party.

He doesn’t mind, he keeps telling himself. He’s not sure himself, he can give the cook the same grace of time to think through what he just discovered, can’t he? Not like it changes much – he always saw his soulmate as someone he will care for and protect, not some fated marriage or anything stupid like that.

So Zoro decided to wait and be patient and see what the cook does first. Of course, he should’ve known he can trust Luffy to solve his problem for him – in the worst possible way.

Nami barely set foot on their ship before Luffy’s launching himself at her and both of them at Sanji.

“Finally!” he hollers and he’s pushing hand to Sanji’s face in a gesture Zoro can’t help but smile at fondly already. “Look, look!” he waves a hand around and it stretches out, passing by Zoro and Usopp before snapping it back to shove it right back in Sanji and Nami’s faces. “Nami’s just showed up and yours has been around for days! So you’re finally mine now!”

“Who are you calling yours!” Nami snaps, but her voice is suspiciously shaky and when she slaps Luffy it sounds like a love tap more than anything else. Even Usopp isn’t buying it as he cheers for them, raising a hand with a mark of a Strawhat on top of his palm.

Zoro smirks and puts up his own in company, enjoying the moment for what it is before it inevitably blows into chaos.

He doesn’t have to wait long. Luffy yelps as he’s suddenly kicked into the railing and falls right through it. Zoro grinds his teeth, getting up and grabs an empty scabbard to reach and twist it around Luffy’s leg and against the railing. Moron threw himself into the air. He’s not diving for him anytime soon, but he can give him an anchor to pull himself back up.

Sanji is bright red up to his ears and stuttering sounds more than words, pointing between Luffy and his own hand.

“What’s with you?!” Usopp yells, before hiding behind Nami and points an accusatory finger at the cook. “Can’t even enjoy a warm welcome without a fight? This isn’t your kitchen ship, you know! We can give you a fight, of course, but what gives, Sanji!”

“Don’t think we’re gonna match the crazy antics of your old crew!” Nami rolls her eyes and shoves Usopp aside to sit down by one of her trees, leaning against it. Usopp glances over, measuring the widths of the branches, before he reconsiders and slinks away to vault himself behind a railing by the ship’s wheel.

“Y-yeah, we can keep up with those crazy cooks, obviously! If we wanted to!”

“Great thinking, Sanji!” Luffy jumped back on board and he’s got a good dozen of some oversized shellfish biting into him. “We need fresh food for the party! Gotta celebrate my new cook and navigator!” He dives for Nami and Sanji again, but one of his legs is still wrapped around Zoro’s scabbard so he just falls down.

The shellfish let go of him and scuttle over the deck and Usopp yelps as he tries to chase after them.

Zoro sighs and walks to grab Luffy’s stretched leg.

“Let’s slow down, captain.” He pulls the scabbard and lets Luffy’s leg snap back. “Cook’s got no idea how your marks work and might be frying his brain extra crispy thinking you just hit on him.” He can’t help his smirk turning a little bitter.

“I didn’t hit anybody – he kicked me!” Luffy whines before reaching into his shirt and pulling out a stray fish. “D’you think fried brains would be tasty?”

“No idea, but Sanji’s brain will do no cooking in this state.” Nami sighs and waves her hand up a swell, showing off a new mark on her hand. “He’s not hitting on you. Not sure he actually knows how to so don’t fucking dare.”

“It’s not a mate thing, he’s just – Luffy?” Usopp mimics her, waving hand from behind the railing.

“Thanks for being so helpful!” Zoro snorts.

Sanji progressed to just opening and closing his mouth, rubbing at the new mark on his hand.

Zoro grabs his hand and drags him to the kitchen.

“Welcome to your part of the ship, I guess.” He tries and shrugs, grunting when he feels a wave of pain in response. He sits down at the end of the bench and takes advantage of the cook’s meltdown to steal a bottle of sake from a cupboard.

Nothing cures the pain like alcohol.

“Put that away.”

“He speaks after all.” Zoro grins and takes another swig from the bottle before putting it away. Then he uses his teeth to rip bandages over his own palm away and show off his own Strawhat on his skin. “There are some things you just gotta accept about Luffy, ‘cause struggling gets you nowhere and only wastes time. One thing is that all his crewmates bare his mark and they get it when they join him. Same place, same thing.”

Sanji blinks and points a finger at him while opening and closing his mouth. He brings the mark on his own hand right up to his face and he seems incapable of not staring at it.

“It’s familial for him, y’know.” Zoro raises an eyebrow as Sanji’s face goes through half a dozen hilarious changes, fear weirdly stark and repeated among them. “Not that way, you pervert. Pretty sure he treats the world like a store he can just steal himself people from – and I can’t believe I’m saying it, but I agree with the witch. Don’t you dare.”

Something finally seems to snap Sanji out of his daze, because whatever blush he lost he recovers right back, his face burning before he buries it in his hands as he slides to the floor.

“OH! Not – I wasn’t – not about the – well, not just – bloody hell, I made a mess of it.”

“No worse than Luffy at an open buffet?” Zoro smirks and tries to make a sneaky grab for another bottle of sake before Sanji recovers enough to take it, but the bastard is faster and a leg is blocking the cupboard before he can fully lean down.

“No chance.”

“Cheapskate.”

“You should be dead from blood-loss alone, I’m not finding out if you can actually run on pure booze instead.”

“Wanna bet?” Zoro grins and Sanji scoffs at him, before pulling his leg back and curling right back into a ball Zoro is pretty sure he could fit right under the sink. Damn cook better not have hiding habits to match Usopp, he does not wanna double the time he spends looking through every corner of Merry.

“Never uh, had one. Just – surprised me, s’all.” Cook’s mutter is more into his own knees than anything more and Zoro considers leaving it at that, but his side is burning with phantom itch worse than the actual cut on his chest.

Well, isn’t that more blunt than a kick in the face?

Well, screw cook for thinking he can get every with something that lazy.

He’s owed at least something more.

“So we don’t have to worry about you getting pissy over what matches anyone might find?” he asks, as level and normal as he can. Good thing Sanji’s still trying to twist himself into a knot, otherwise he’d definitely notice he’s doing a piss poor job of it.

Sanji somehow still laughs, and the way he shakes with it makes him look weirdly like a sea urchin Zoro remembers fishing up for the old guy back home. Damn the bastard for making him feel so fond of him already. He’s gonna love him within weeks and get nothing beside friendship in return, won’t he?

“Ah, I blew it, didn’t I?” Cook someone weasels out a hand to mess up his hair and Zoro lets himself stare at the mark on Sanji’s neck for what’s likely the last time as he drains his bottle of sake. “Not trouble for me, no worries – there’s only ever the most perfect angel awaiting in my future, let’s make this clear-”

“Crystal.” Zoro scoffs and leans more comfortably against the bench before closing his eyes.

“-so don’t get any – well, then we’re… good? Great.” Sanji quiets down for a moment and the silence isn’t bad, actually. Zoro missed having that since he met Luffy. “Not gonna hold it against anyone else. We can’t all have good taste, can we?” he tries to joke and Zoro forces a smile.

It doesn’t last long, said captain can only be considerate for so long before barging in to whine about his party to celebrate new crewmates and demand fried lobster brains. Zoro watches Sanji from the corner of his eye, the way he grabs Luffy to talk quietly before he starts cooking, then does the same with Usopp and Nami later.

Zoro sits at his edge of the bench as they laugh and celebrate. Everything is good, because he doesn’t say a word about his match and doesn’t make things weird. It’s not guaranteed, after all, what kind of soulmate you will get and Luffy certainly seems to be picking up strays lacking a family. If that’s all he gets from Sanji – a friend, a family, someone to protect and care for, well.

What’s to complain about there?

He takes a swig from a bottle he snuck out of the cupboard while Sanji blatantly pretended not to notice and sighs. The bandage at his palm kept unravelling over the hours and by now it’s hanging off somewhere around his armpit, itching and annoying. He mutters an apology before pulling Wado just enough to cut it and kicks the balled up cloth away.

It’s not like he was that injured, just cuts and nicks that don’t even reopen as he walks, that Cocoyashi doctor was really dramatizing. He takes advantage of the moon coming out and lets his eyes roam over the room, making sure everyone is fine. Luffy’s snoring and wrapped around Nami and Sanji, not letting them go unless distracted and pretty much using them as mildly unwilling pillows and hugging toys right now. Usopp escaped that and instead got drunk enough to try and fight the mop in the nook and somehow both lost and crammed himself inside. Zoro checks to make sure he doesn’t look like he might drown himself in his own sick overnight and then takes another drink.

The mark on his arm is uncovered now, a star-scar from a nasty arrow that shot and went through his father’s arm and into his chest, because he twisted out of the way. Honourable death and honourable scar to carry, because scars on your back are swordsman’s shame.

“At least I got practice carrying a mark of grief.” Zoro chuckles and finishes his bottle before sighing and settling down for a nap, closing his eyes.

It is funny though.

Trust his soulmate to be the first and hopefully last person to make a coward out of him.

Sanji sighs, turning off the water and hands the last plate to Zoro for drying.

“Break any and I’m breaking your fingers.” He warns before leaving the sink and walking away. He grabs lemonade he prepared beforehand that should’ve just gotten perfectly chilled and skips up the steps to look for Nami.

She is resting under her trees and Sanji takes a moment to just look at her, admiring the soft lines of her hair on the deckchair and the pleasant curves of her body as she sunbathes.

Nothing sharp about here at all, as it should be. Well, beside the ugly marks on her shoulder, but he’s making sure they pick up a doctor next, whatever Luffy’s thinking, to make sure her poor shoulder gets proper care and doesn’t get infected or scars too badly. No woman deserves such disfigurement!

He hasn’t had a chance to just watch since his mother, not that freely.

“Sanji?” She cracks an eye open and Sanji realizes he’s been blocking her sun. He jumps to the side right away and bends down to put the drink within her reach, turning it to show off mint leaves artfully cut to resemble butterflies.

“Nami dearest, would you like to cool off by any chance?” he keeps a napkin under the glass, careful not to drip condensation onto Nami’s skin. It wouldn’t do to give her a shock.

“Sure, but it might put me right to sleep.” She laughs and Sanji indulges himself in the angelic sound as he slows straightening up as much as he can afford to and fixes his hair. “Mhh, delicious as always – don’t think I can go back to normal food now, you know?” she sighs after few sips.

“Never fear, nothing would force me to abandon you, Nami dearest!”

“You better…” she murmurs and Sanji grins and bows to her, delighted to see her yawn and stretch. Her hair moves to frame her lovely face and gorgeous eyes before she rubs them with her slender fingers.  He uses that moment to make sure to account for every scar he can see, to make sure no new ones can escape his eye in the future.

“Gonna put me right to sleep… Well, I always nap when Zoro does his thing anyway.” Nami shrugs and turns on her side slightly, arm drapes gracefully over her side.

Sanji’s throat goes dry.

“His thing?” he repeats slowly and tries hard to keep control of his voice.

“Mhmm, idiot’d be lifting cannonballs already if I let. Pent-up muscle brain.” Nami rolls her eyes far too fondly for Sanji’s liking before closing them. “Gotta do with what I allow when in my debt though.” She smiles and stretches again.

Sanji watched her, quietly fuming.

He’s been trying his best to hear about his crewmates and to not let himself form any bias against them, no matter how trying they might be with him. He tries to trust Usopp is not useless and won’t put Nami in danger, or that Zoro is not as selfish as he might seem from the way he’d rather die for his silly duel than back out to stay alive and help save Nami. He also had no delusions about such a tiny crew keeping chaste over a long journey alone on a relatively small ship – warnings he got about being respectful of Luffy made things clear enough.

Hearing this however! How dare this beast make Nami worry by demanding his needs met before he’s fit for it, and then take advantage of her kind heart to pester her even while she’s asleep?! Trust her to be an angel and put herself in harm’s way! Of course she’s so protective of their captain, if she knows how bad things get. Usopp must be truly as useless as he seems if he allows it all to happen without protest!

Unwanted, the talk with Usopp yesterday comes to his mind and the mention of damned Disco island. Everyone knows what it is and who goes there, as well as for what. Zoro claimed he visited it chasing a pirate, but clearly that was just a cheap excuse!

Sanji watches Nami sleep, so soft and calm and undisturbed by anything. How could she deserve that brute doing anything to her?! How could she even agree, really, she is just clearly too caring and worries far too much for all of them.

Nami snores and shifts a little, some hair falling over her face. It must irritate her because she starts scrunching her nose and Sanji lets himself adore how cute she looks for just a moment before he slowly picks a smoke and brushes her hair away with just the edge so she won’t feel a thing.

He lights the cigarette and lets the smoke obscure Nami’s image just a little. It lightens her hair and blurs her features. He wonders if his mother would’ve looked as peaceful, had she ever been lucky enough to live a happier life.

“You ‘round, witch?” Zoro comes up from the kitchens and Sanji grinds teeth on his smoke hard enough to bite it in half. He spits it out and marches to the stair.

He looks down at Zoro and can’t hold back a sneer.

“She is sleeping in!”

Zoro blinks, looking at him as he has no clue what he is talking about and that honestly pisses Sanji off more. This was supposed to be a safe ship! Sure Nami seems to have agreed, the kind soul that she is, but would Zoro just take if refused? He grew out of reflexively attacking anyone, but with Zeff’s training he might kill someone if they try to.

Would Luffy kick him out? Zoro was here first, after all. He was the one to face Arlong while barely alive when all Sanji could do was swim a bit to break a piece of stone. Should be just ignore it

“Well, I’ll go wake her up?” Zoro shrugs. “Damn witch was supposed to wait and will probably hit me for waking her up…” He climbs the first few stairs and Sanji immediately raises a leg to hold against his shoulder.

“As she should!” He hisses. “You will let her rest if you know what is good for you – now and in the future!”

Zoro stares at him, before rolling his eyes.

“Well, what good I need now is a workout, which means I need her, Cook, so move.”

Sanji grinds his teeth and digs the heel of his shoe where he knows the cut on Zoro’s chest just begins. Workout? Is he trying to anger him more or just being a moron? Or did he get it all wrong and he’s as brainless as he seems and cares only for his swords? Is he just forcing her to - to serve him as he trains, or to attend to him like some servant?! Keeping her at his side, making her sleep whenever he-?!

“Fine.” Zoro pushes his leg away and Sanji had gotten lost in his thoughts enough that he needs a moment to shift his weight to avoid falling down. That’s the only reason why the moss-brained swordsman is able to just grab him and carry him like a sack of flour to the shadowed part of the deck behind the trees. “Take her place then.”

“What do you mean-?!” Sanji hisses, not willing to scream and risk waking Nami up. He twists and tries to ignore how effortlessly Zoro simply switching his hold, biceps bulging slightly under the strain and he holds him up.

Before he can blink, Zoro has him settled on his back somehow as he lays himself flat and starts moving. Just, moving slowly up and down, shifting as he adjusts to somehow have Sanji settled perfectly comfortable on his naked back. Then he just moves in a steady rhythm, which takes Sanji embarrassingly long to recognize as push-ups.

So he had gotten it wrong and he was not making Nami sleep with him, just – literally working out, while using her as a weight while he’s not allowed proper ones? It’s too bizarre to be something he made up to avoid being caught doing something worse, so it must be real, in which case…

Sanji just was admittedly quite rude to him, wasn’t he? Zeff would kick him through the wall if he could see it. Damn moss-brained idiots and their bizarre habits.

Sanji sighs in annoyance and does not get up, nor complain. This should be more than enough of an apology. After all, what is Zoro thinking, making Nami do things like that for him? Laying on his naked back as it gets slick with sweat? His own clothes will be ruined, she should not have to deal with this nonsense! She’s still wounded as well, she needs rest and a clean environment, not this nastiness!

Honestly, how could she talk about sleeping through it? Feeling every muscle shift as Zoro moves up and down cannot be that comfortable… well, the repitition might be soothing, if one was easily swayed by such things… His body heat is certainly less of a hindrance than he expected, the tangerine trees giving just enough shade to keep him cool… and the moment added to the sway of Merry can get…

“Sanji!”

Sanji jerks awake and can feel his face burn in humiliation right away. How could he fall asleep like that?! At least moss-brain is nowhere to be found.

“Nami dearest, however can I help you?”

Nami smirks, in a way that tells him she absolutely knows what he did. As he stands up, he realizes it’s not hard to figure out. His still damp clothes reek of sweat and he can feel his hair sticking to his face. No shower will make him clean, maybe he should just dive overboard? Saltwater has a chance.

“Ah, just thought I’d tell you Luffy’s been in the kitchen for a while now.”

Sanji curses and forges the stairs in favour of jumping down over the railing. His bath can wait.

What couldn't wait, as it turned out, was trouble. they find it all over the place, from execution towers to giant whales to murderous organizations to mysterious princessed, ending on an island picked right out of history books.

Sanji kicks the last piece of aloe and adds it to the bundle before turning to go back. He might not be a doctor, but he can manage treating burns before they leave Little Garden. Thankfully it’s full of tropical plant-life and he easily found some aloe vera and even picked up a few other useful ones to store on Merry for later. They won’t help anything major, but some jewelweed juice should soothe the bug bites poor Nami and Vivi got as well.

The faster they leave this island the better, honestly!

“I have returned!” he grins and skips right to Nami and sits by her. “Give me but a moment, Nami dearest, and I’ll make you feel all better.”

“Appreciate it.” Nami smiles like an angel from where she lays down on her stomach. Seems Usopp did well on using the oversized leaves to create a shaded canopy for her, and Luffy hasn’t had a chance to destroy it yet.

He gets to cutting up the aloe leaves and mixing up a soothing paste and hesitates when he’s finished.

“How much does it hurt? Can you stand for me to spread it over you?” He makes sure to ask, because he’s a gentleman, unlike some people around.

Nami slowly moves her shoulders and hisses as it pulls at the reddened skin and a blister breaks, letting fluid drip down her skin.

“Don’t move!” Vivi comes closer and kneels by them, pressing her sleeve to wipe Nami’s skin clean. “I’ll help.” She reaches for the bowl and Sanji passes it silently, not hiding a fond smile as he watches Vivi’s fingers dip into the paste.

Her own jacket protected her from most of the fire and she refused any help before others were seen to, a perfect princess even now, but her hand could use some care – two birds with one stone! He can see the miniscule scars all over those precious fingers as well, probably from learning her fancy blades, so it wouldn’t hurt to let her moisturise a little either way.

“Call me if you need anything else. I’ll be making some cream for bug bites later as well.”

Vivi mutters some thanks, too focused on Nami, and Sanji can’t blame her.

The fire burned away her clothes, uncovering a mark she didn’t share until now and it’s a gorgeous thing – a tasteful stream of water sliding down her spine and shining in the loveliest colours of the rainbow where it splashes against her tailbone. He’d selfishly admired it for long seconds as he looked over her burns and tried to cool her down at first.

He looks at his own mark and can’t help but smile. He still doesn’t know just how Luffy makes it work, but he doesn’t care – he’s proud to wear his mark, to be part of their crew – part of a- well, not a family, he knows how those go for him.

They’re a crew and they want him in it. He couldn’t ask for more.

For Nami’s sake, he hopes her match will become part of the crew as well, the heartbreak of separation would be torture…

Sanji sighs and throws the jewelweed leaves into mortar he brought from the ship and focuses on making the remedy for the bug bites.

“…finally done?” Zoro sounds like he’s chewing glass when he calls him and Sanji smirks.

“You’re a complete idiot who tried to cut his feet off for no reason at all, so you can wait patiently for your turn, moss-brain!” He scoffs before reaching into his pocket for a sewing kit. He throws it to him without looking.

“How am I supposed to do it alone?”

“Looks like someone should’ve thought about it before they asked to be cut in half.” Sanji can’t help sound snide and bitter, because he still can’t comprehend Zoro just standing peacefully to die by Mihawk’s hand, let alone with a smile on his stupid face. If the Warlord didn’t pity him or wasn’t in the mood, they would be short an idiot in their crew!

And for what, some meaningless title nobody cares about except for him? For worthless power he didn’t even have a use for beyond having it?

Moronic, and that’s the whole of Zoro!

 “Maybe next time you won’t make Nami dearest and Vivi highness worry about your antics!” he throws over his shoulder, even if he has little hope it would stick. Skilled as their swordsman is with the blade, clearly he sacrificed any other brain function for it.

Zoro went oddly silent as Sanji finished with jewelweed first before putting it away to drain properly.

After that he does wipe his hands clean and goes to sit by Zoro’s side.

“You’re on kitchen duty forever.” He orders smugly and opens the sewing kit. “And you owe me silk thread at the  nearest port, too. It’s not cheap!”

“I’ll sew it with fishing line if you’re gonna bitch this much.” Zoro grumbles and Sanji rolls his eyes, showing great restraint in poking him with a needle.

He cleans moss-brain’s calves, because of course he just sat there as he was and couldn’t be bothered to wash himself, what else did he expect? Seeing just how deeply he cut in makes bile rise to his throat, but he forces it back down. He considers the muscles for a moment before stitching them with single stitches to hold them together where they look the worst and then does a seam stitch on the cut skin.

“You’re lucky I know anything… we need an actual doctor.” He mutters as he wipes his hands on the grass, grimacing. “I’m making cream for the ladies, guess I’ll keep some jewelweed juice to make a paste for you to avoid infection since you treat bathing like a suggestion.”

“Booze works well enough.” Zoro shrugs and to Sanji horror, takes out a small metal flask from who knows where and just pours alcohol over his stitched ankles.

Sanji gapes, watching Zoro clearly hold back a scream as his whole body stiffens, muscle tensing under his skin and twitching from the strain.

“…moron.” He shakes his head and leaves, wiping sweat from his face and neck with a sleeve before. Zoro chokes on something behind him and Sanji rolls his eyes. “If you die because you couldn’t wait for a drink I’m not wasting time digging you a grave, the animals get to have a snack!” he scoffs and stops off back to where he left the jewelweed.

Morons using booze as disinfectant aside, having something to clean wounds on hand won’t hurt.

They clearly need a doctor and if he didn’t expect Luffy to ends up finding dead one last the moment he voices that, Sanji would be demanding they go fetch one already.

He still blames himself, for thinking the illness into life when fever down Nami as soon as they leave Little Garden.

What else could it be but fate reminding him how easily he taints everything he touches? Baratie ruined as he left it and now his new family dying off right as he joined it…

Sanji spits out his cigarette overboard and finishes folding bleaches towels. He walks silently into the room, before

“I’ll do it.” Vivi reaches out for the stack in his hands and Sanji easily moves them out of her reach.

“Vivi highness, no need to wring out your precious hands – you’ve kept watch long enough! Maybe lay down a little, would you like some iced water to cool you off? I have Zoro making some more, it’s one thing he’s good for.”

Vivi bites her lip and glances over at Nami, fingers twitching.

“Shouldn’t we keep it for Nami?” she asks softly. “Just in case the we run out.”

“Ah, you worry so much – truly a royal at heart!” Sanji can’t help but sing her praises, swaying at the balls of his feet with delighted grin. Trust a lady to have the purest heart as always. “No need to worry! Seeing the way those reckless lot stock the pantry alone, I made sure to keep supply of charcoal and other filtrates so in emergency we can reuse any rainwater.”

Vivi blinks at him, clearly surprised, before her shoulders sag in relief.

“That’s – good. Great!” She smiles and Sanji would do anything for her to smiles at him like that some more. “I’m so glad I mentioned the trouble of dismantling all the weaponry left from the coup, taking the saltpetre really saved us here. You know, I never expected you to know so much chemistry. Ah!” she fumbles with her hands, face flushing slightly. “I mean no offence – cooking clearly takes a lot of skills – and you bake as well! The one time I attempted a cake most I manages was turning flour to charcoal… I-I just meant-!”

“I wouldn’t dream of taking an offence.” Sanji grins and leans against the door frame. They’ve been hyper-focused on Nami for hours, Vivi especially, they deserve a moment of peace. The fever finally managed to stop the fever from going higher with ice packs, so it seems like as good a time as any other.

No wonder, any moment they delay for her sake is time not spend helping save Alabasta and yet Vivi, the perfect princess that she is, took almost not time before deciding to seek Nami’s treatment before anything else. How could anyone not love her?

“Baking takes quite a bit of chemistry, actually.” He says, stretching out his legs and shifting hold of the towels in his arms, holding them against his chest. “You need to account for so much with some more finnicky pastries!”

“Really?

“You wouldn’t believe! Remember those lovely croissants you had, with mince and fresh nuts? I fear until Nami is better I won’t be able to remake them again – need to know how likely it is to be raining to make sure the pastry will flake as it should be.”

Vivi cover her mouth, making an exaggerated gasp. It make loose her framing her face move a little. One strand brushes over he nose and she wrinkles it a little. Sanji fumbles with the towels a little, until he can lift a hand to brush them behind her ears so they don’t bother her more.

“They’re that temperamental?” She sighs and wraps an arm around herself. “Had I known – there’s no need to trouble yourself on my account, Sanji. I’m fine eating whatever you cook!” She smiles that forced grin of her and Sanji feels his blood boil who Baroque Works.

He wishes he had a neck to stomp into and break.

“Nonsense, Vivi princess! I’m at your beck and call – whatever craving takes you, anything you fancy – don’t ever hesitate do come ask for it!”

Vivi shook her head, looking aside to Nami.

“There is really not need!” She sighed, wringing out her hands. “We’re all busy enough as is it – I couldn’t possibly add to your workload. I’m more than fine.”

“A soul of gold, it’s nearly blinding. Is it an angel same down, or simple lady of purest heart? ” Sanji sings out and takes pride in making Vivi giggle a little before she pushes at his arm. “How could one lowly as I ever dare to-“

“Move.” Zoro stomps down the stairs and Sanji barely moves out the way to not get shoved as he walks inside with a bucket of fresh crushed ice. At least he knows what’s good for him and kept clear of Vivi. “Gimmie those.” He grabs the towels under his arm as he passes him.

Sanji makes a disgusted noise.

“You better have-“

“Showered just now, you prissy fuck, you can sniff me if you wanna.” Zoro throws over his arm with challenging smirk and Sanji makes a retching sound and mimes vomiting right.

Zoro sits by Nami’s bed and starts making cold compresses to replace ones covering Nami.

“Can you be any more revolting?” Sanji sighs. “Vivi princess, please pay the moron no mind – we’re not sure he ever stepped indoors before he boarded Marry.”

Vivi, bless her heart, just laughs and waves her hand dismissively. She has more grace than Zoro could ever deserve.

“Sit.” Zoro drops a towel and shakes off his hand. “Oi, Vivi – help up tying them up, my finger got too numb from crushing the ice and I don’t wanna wait.”

“Oh – of course!” Vivi jumps into action and runs up to the bed. She sits down carefully at the edge and starts tying up the corners of the towel Zoro dropped, fingers moving elegantly.

“Just how useless are you?” Sanji scoffs and settles by the wall, shoving Usopp a little to the side. He turns in his sleep and mumbles about army charge and taking down the jungle bugs, waving his arm around to strike at some invisible something. It smacks Sanji over the head and he rolls his eyes, hold it in place before it falls down on Chopper, but when he looks down to move their doctor he’s gone from his little blanket nest in the nook between the seat and the wall.

Sanji glances over and catches Zoro setting him down on the corner of the bed. He watches him for a moment, chewing on his own tongue. He won’t lie Luffy and Zoro’s fight in Whiskey Peak didn’t unsettle him, even if they seemed to get over it easily. He’d seen what example set by leader can do and how quickly mimicker behaviour spread, and Chopper with his childish antics – so apt as he’s still a child – would be an easy target. He was surprised to see him gravitate to Zoro so much and even more to see Zoro as receptive to it, but it’s one worry less, so he can’t really find himself in mood to complain.

Now if mosshead could channel even a speck of that protective energy into behaving as one should with the women in their crew, that would be just perfect, but Sanji has long given up on miracles.

“Wanna swap and go brew ice then chop it fine, curly brow?” Zoro rises an eyebrow at him and Sanji swallows a retort.

“I’m not leaving Nami’s side, you brute – so go complain somewhere else or find a way to be useful. Best lose yourself if you’re done – it’s time to change the ice and you’re last person I’m trusting around Nami undressed!”

Zoro suddenly gives him a look, a weird one Sanji never saw from him and it makes something unpleasant curl in his gut.

“Wanna get a look while you can? Never thought you’d stoop so low.” He says and adds some weird, clipped sound that makes hair stand up on Sanji’s neck even though he can’t understand the language.

It takes him a moment to get the implication and he jumps up to shove Zoro against the wall right away, blood simmering in his veins in outrage.

“You fucking dare-!”

“Sure do.” Zoro glares at him, an arm leaning on his sword and Sanji sees red. He aims a kick at his side that gets blocked by a sheath before he has to grab an elbow aiming at his ribs. “Why else are you glued to her side since she passed out?”

Sanji snarls and headbutts Zoro, grinning when he can hear the crunch of breaking bones and smell the tang of blood. Zoro’s muffled curse is just a topping on a perfect just desserts.

“I-I can watch her!” Vivi interrupt them suddenly.

Sanji’s attention snaps to her and he cringes. Her head is hung low enough to hide her eyes and her hands are clenching the towel tightly enough for ice to spill from between the folds of the fabric. He sighs and opens his mouth, only to choke out a breath as he’s suddenly yanked by his collar.

Zoro drags him up the stairs with an iron grip on his clothes and another hand clutching his arm.

“Mosshead – the hell you doing – let go before I - !”

 “Why, wanna make Vivi cry some more?” Zoro murmurs and Sanji goes limp in his hold, twisting his head to glance into the room before they leave it completely.

Sure enough, Vivi is sat back at the bed, shoulder shaking minutely and jaw twitching from muffled sobs, but if he strains his ears Sanji can still hear it. His face burns in shame, how could he forget himself like that?

He jerks out of Zoro’s hold the moment they’re out on the deck, fixing his hair to check if there’s no blood on them.

“How dare you make Vivi worry!” he snaps, because shame never sat comfortable with him and Zoro was equally fault for fighting back in Vivi’s presence.

“I made ‘er worry?” Zoro huffs a laugh. It makes blood bubble out of his broken nose and it’s good think he’s already kneeling over a bucket of deck water, so it drips down into it and doesn’t make a mess. “Y’had it covered ‘lone.”

Sanji rolls his eyes and throws him a handkerchief. He seethes briefly in annoyance as Zoro pointedly ignores it and lets it drop to the deck. He allows himself brief satisfaction of watching in as idiot swordsman tries to set his nose with his hands still dark with blood. Inevitably his fingers slip and he lets out a grunt of pain.

Sanji watches him make a second attempt, smiling expectantly and waiting to be asked for help. He raises his eyebrows at the third and the fourth, shakes his head at the fifth and finally grabs Zoro’s wrist before he can attempt another.

“Moron.” Sanji hisses out and slaps his other arm when he tries to reach with his other hand. “We have enough on out plate with Nami, don’t you dare cause trouble!”

Zoro goes cross-eyed trying to glare at him and sticks a tongue at him.

“Heh. Plate.” He slurs out and Sanji rolls his eyes at him. He reaches out to try and grab his hair, but it’s to short to get a hold of. He takes half a step to the side and puts Zoro’s head to his shoulder, then wraps an arm around it.

“Hold still before I decide I love how mouth-breathing might keep you blissfully quiet and change my mind.” He jokes, pressing his forearm to Zoro’s forehead and leaning his head backwards.

He looks down and turns them slightly to catch better light. Of course he’s just joking, he would never risk leaving a broken nose alone, any face injury is too close and they can’t risk Zoro suffocating when he holds sword in his mouth, can they? Having stitched bastard’s ankles, he doesn’t put it past him to just cut of his nose if he has to either and no one needs to be subjected that visual regularly.

“Changed mind ‘ready?” Zoro slurs out and Sanji tilts his head back. He looks down and blinks, watching the muscles in Zoro’s neck strain as they’re stretched. Sanji follows the bobbing of his Addam’s apple as if hypnotized, completely forgetting what he was supposed to do.

He’s close enough to notice Zoro’s eyes are half-lidded and since when does the bastard have such long eyelashes? So undeserving. This close, he can see he didn’t imagine his eyes burning red during fights either – paler brown at the edges, they turn much brighter red around the pupil.

What was it called, it was named after an alcohol, wasn’t it? Brandy brown, or something? Whatever it was, he’s never telling Zoro that, he’d never stop being smut sod about it.

Then Zoro groans and Sanji can his stomach churning.

“Moss-brain. Stop swallowing the blood!” he scolds and bites his sleeve to hike it higher up. He wipes the bloods from the bridge of Zoro’s nose with his wrist and then holds it firmly to set his nose into place.

He rubs his fingers over it slightly to make sure he got it right before backing right away. He leans down to wet his hand and clean his wrist, rubbing his other one against his pocket to check if he has a spare handkerchief to dry his hands.

“Here.” Zoro drops one he threw him before onto his hand and Sanji had to scramble to grab it so it doesn’t fall into the now bloodied deck water. “Hope this teaches you not to disturb Vivi princess with unnecessary violence!” he points a finger at him jabs it at his shoulder for emphasis.

Zoro rolls his eyes.

“Sure, whatever. My bad, you flirting and ogling is totally innocent, love-cook.” He mocks and Sanji kicks his ankle, satisfied with a hiss of pain. Moron must’ve been training more than Chopper allowed him and pulled at the stitches again, cause they’re covered in dried blood again.

“I only give the ladies adoration and love they obviously deserve.” He states plainly. “I would never insult them with demanding anything in return – unlike some.”

Zoro watches him for a moment, eyebrows raising until they almost reach his hair.

“…you actually believe this shit.” He mutters, tilting his head one way and watching Sanji like a bug pinned under glass before he tilts it the other way as if he thought that would fix something he was seeing.

Sanji shifts weight on his feet, knees bending to prepare for another fight if head to.

“Zeff has taught me to be a gentleman – pity no one had, you.”

Zoro watches him a moment longer, before finally looking away and Sanji doesn’t sag in relief, because he’s not reckless enough to show a weakness like that, but he does let himself breathe a little easier. He has no clue what exactly they were arguing about, just like had no clue what Zoro and Luffy threw blows about in Whiskey Peak, but it seems they got over it peacefully as well.

Hopefully that’s it for sudden arguments. He expected some, new crew grinding they’re sharp edges flat against each other and all that, but getting Vivi involved was simply too much!

He doesn’t wait for Zoro to thank him and goes back down, looking into the room. Vivi changed Nami’s ice packs already, which means the little spat took far longer than Sanji planned. He walks in, apology ready on his mouth, but he snaps it shut just in time.

Vivi is sat by Nami’s head, one hand resting against her burning forehead, finger twitching where they’re pressed to her temple with a lock of hair wrapped around them. Sanji smiles softly and walks soundlessly to the closet to grab a spare blanket and puts it around Vivi’s arms before settling down by the wall.

Sanji keeps watch, just in case – there is never a warning when sickness decides to change its course or when a fever decides to rise again, a life hanging by a silk thread over a flame just waiting to burn it. Others can sleep, they need it more than him, it’s not the first time he went days without and likely won’t be the last, with the crew of troublemakers.

He raises an eyebrow when Zoro doesn’t show up long past his time to swap the watch duty. He didn’t think him the type to sulk over an argument and it seemed they ended it on neutral grounds, or did Sanji misread it completely and-?

The door sways open and Sanji’s halfway to standing up so he can run and catch it before the handle bangs against the wall when he notices Zoro shove his hand between them. He huffs out a breath and shivers when the broken nose must still sting with pain before closing the door and coming closer to the bed.

Sanji settles back down and watches him changed Nami’s ice, suddenly tying up the towels without issue so what was he really just slacking off before? What a disgrace, honestly. At least he has enough honour to leave the light off as he uncovers Nami so he shouldn’t be seeing anything he doesn’t deserve to glimpse.

Zoro checks on the ice, puts it by the window to keep it cold for longer and then slumps against Karoo. He’s out withing seconds and Sanji can’t help but rolls his eyes fondly when he gets up to get another blanket and cover him as well. Last thing they need is double the patients. Idiots might not get colds, but better safe than sorry.

Sanji decides Zoro proves well enough he can be trusted with the ladies so he will be fair. He will trust him as he does the rest of the crew until proven overwise.

He should’ve known Zoro will make it everything in his power to make it most difficult for him.

It takes them as little as reaching Nanohana after Chopper joined the crew and going for disguises to blend in. Sanji is all but floating on the clouds after helping them all pick the clothes, gladly picking up the tab and refusing to let Vivi do it for him.

He was quite perturbed Nami asked Zoro of all people to come and help them change, but he forced on a smile and told himself it must mean she trusts him. He joined them before Sanji, before they even got Marry and still shared a dingy that’s still stores in with the cannonballs. It must be just crew amity, right?

He stomps down another smoke with heel buries it in the sand.

“YOU-!”

Sanji jerks his head up at Nami’s scream and runs to grab the curtain of the changing room. Was it Zoro being an untrustworthy moron, or did the enemy find them-?

“On Little Garden, you saw-!” Nami chokes on the last word and Sanji will not wait any longer.

“Coming in!” he warns as he steps in, zeroing on Zoro immediately. “Just what do you think you’re doing?!” He hisses, glancing over to check on Nami and Vivi and almost faints at the sight. They’ve both started putting on their disguises already. Vivi stands still, holding the still untied top to her chest. Nami has pressed herself to her back, completely naked from waist up and looking on the verge of tears.

Sanji grinds his teeth and knees Zoro in the side hoping the bruises from Drum Island would still sting.

“Knew you couldn’t be trusted! What did you do?!”

Zoro curses through clenched teeth before he rolls his eyes.

“Turned around when Nami took off her top and saw her - chest.” Zoro winces and jerks away from Nami who pulls back her pinched fingers and Sanji is glad to see it. Good on her to punish him! “Breasts, whatever. Totally my bad.” Zoro drawls in aggravating monotone and Sanji wants to kick him again, but he might send him through the street and they can’t afford to bring attention to themselves. “I’m gonna go be sorry about it and buy her some Panko Koala shit or whatever to make up for it.”

“It’s Doskoi Panda!” Nami scoffs, thankfully looking less teary eyed and that’s the only reason Sanji lets Zoro leave with only a slight kick to send him out the shop for a head start.

Bastard.

Sanji turned around and fixed his clothes before smiling.

“If you need any help dressing up, my dears-!” he peeks into the dressing room and gets one lovely glimpse of bright colours on tan skin.

“Do NOT!” Nami’s punch sends him out the dressing room and into the wall as Sanji bites down a curse. “Stay out and keep an eye out for anyone – suspicious!” she hissed, only her face visible as she clutched the curtain around it before she disappeared.

Sanji got up and wiped the blood from his face with a grin, glad to see her back to herself.

In all the chaos of facing Baroque Works and Crocodile, he all but forgot about that vague glimpse and didn’t give it any thought – it wasn’t his business if Nami had any more tattoos. Their diet had enough fish already, so he just made sure there was enough walnuts sprinkled into her meals and kept track of lowering sugar in desserts and upping her water intake a bit to account for the harsher sun they were staying under. They might have a doctor on board now, but it’s far better to solve what can be solved with good food before it festers long enough to require medicine.

Maybe if his mother had a chance to eat decent food, she might’ve lived a little longer?

He hopes Vivi enjoys the snacks he left for her in the kitchen. The palace cooks seemed friendly enough by the time they were leaving, so they shouldn’t just throw them out on risk of being poisoned… after dealing with Crocodile he wouldn’t blame them, but he was loathe to risk wasting food…

He stomped out his cigarette and rolled his other wrist, arm still held up with the others.

“Sanji~!” Usopp whined and Sanji sighed, but reached up to hold his arm up.

“Where’s your mighty sea warrior muscles gone, huh?” Zoro smirks.

“Excuse you!” Usopp defends himself from where he limply hangs from Sanji’s hold like a ragdoll. “I’m still recovering here – I hadn’t taken hundreds of metal bats to the face for nothing!”

“Up to hundreds now?” Zoro smirks and Sanji would’ve ignored him, except for the fact that he notices a shadow on Zoro’s opposite side shaking and on Zoro’s other side has  been Nami.

“Are you all right, Nami dea-?” he doesn’t finish his sentence.

Nami’s suddenly bawling her eyes out and her legs give out from under her. Sanji drops Usopp in an instant, falling into  a kneel to catch her-

“Idiots!” Zoro grinds out through his teeth.

-and Sanji would very much like to kick him, except the bastard shoved a thigh between his legs to keep him upright and it’s making him feel far too much of Zoro’s sweaty body. There is a sword going through the hole of his shirt sleeve and slides into Usopp’s armband, and Zoro’s other hand already grabbed Nami’s which is holding her up as well.

“My arm!” Usopp struggles like fish on a hook, making the blade slide unnervingly over Sanji’s own wrist. “Did you cut my arm?! I’m gonna bleed out!”

“Don’t die!” Chopper shrieks and doesn’t start running around only because Zoro’s glare freezes him to the spot. “Usopp! Doctor – find a doctor!”

“Vivi!” Zoro hisses out and they both shut up.

“R-right, thanks Zoro – it wouldn’t do to disappoint her! Chopper, come on, back to your place!”

“Oh -yeah, Zoro, thanks for holding him up!”

All fight goes out of Sanji as well, because of course they can’t let Vivi highness see them fighting as a goodbye. Damn moss-brain for acting as a hero!

“Bastard!” He bites out when he can say anything without it coming out as a wheeze. He continues cussing him out as Usopp continues whining about his shooting hand. “What about Nami?!”

“Nothing will help her.” Zoro shrugs and the way he shakes Nami makes Sanji’s blood boil.

“The hell you mean!” He snarls and raises leg to kick some sense into Zoro, because clearly he lost it bleeding out on the streets of Alubarna. Then he sees the shake was only to shift Nami and let her lean on Zoro’s side, keeping her upright easier.

Sanji grits his teeth as she turned her head into the crook of Zoro’s neck and sobbed something completely incomprehensible, only to have Zoro whisper something that had her crying harder.

“I just MISS her!” Nami shook from the sobs and Sanji chewed on a new cigarette to stop himself from grabbing her from Zoro’s arms.

“ME TOO!” Luffy joined her crying soon.

Sanji wasn’t surprised when soon, it was only Zoro with dry eyes around, because he was a heartless monster.

What an absolute mess they all were, honestly. No surprise with Vivi having Luffy’s mark. Sanji couldn’t understand how she stayed behind with it burning on her palm, not with the way Luffy got it when she punched him and wouldn’t stand still for hours despite exhaustion he must’ve felt already, not with the way he risked his life for her and not with the way they were clearly connected.

How could one turn their back on their match in the first place? Romantic or not, it was fate giving you what you needed most, what would bring you happiness, what would guide you home. It’s what all the stories said and Sanji might’ve doubted it for most of his life, but then he met Luffy. How could anyone not believe the stories after meeting him?

After getting his mark?

Sanji shook his head and took a deeper inhale, letting the smoke sit in his lungs until it burned. At least that gave him an excuse for the tears, not that it looked like Mosshead seemed interested in anything besides Nami. Bastard, always has to be better in everything, doesn’t he?

Not like Sanji doesn’t know well enough he’s-

“Told you we should’ve just taken her instead of asking.” Zoro sighs as soon as they finally take a turn. He’s still not changing his position, as unwilling to be the first one as anyone else.

“Monster!” Usopp hisses, swaying to point at Zoro while still hanging limply where Sanji took hold of him again. Sanji just drops him.

“No forcing crew-members!” Luffy joins, collapsing into the deck and holding onto his finger with Vivi’s mark like it’s his lifeline, making his pointing look comically vague.

Nami mumbles something too into Zoro’s arm and burns bright red.

“That’s enough pity for you.” Zoro lets go of Nami too and Sanji gleefully kicks him aside to catch her before she can hit the deck. Zoro just rolling eyes at him is somehow more annoying than anything else would’ve been. “I’m not letting her get dehydrated into a headache. If you wanna baby that monster, be my guest.”

It’s a good few minutes later, when he’s serving a cool drink to Nami who is curled up in the shade. He makes sure everyone catches water he threw their way, when Sanji realizes how easily he got played.

“Oi, Zoro!” he turns to him.

The very same moment, the door behind opens and Miss All Sunday comes.

“Ah, we finally left the island – it’s good to come out.” She walks out like she belong there and Sanji can’t even take satisfaction from Zoro’s stupid gaping face when he gets disarmed without a blink of an eye, because beautiful and enchanting as she is, she is Miss All Sunday, who haunted Vivi’s life and might be here to take their lives, so he has to be prepared to protect his family- “These might be yours, I’m borrowing them.”

“Mine-?” Nami already picked up her weapon and was glaring at Miss All Sunday, only to suddenly turn to Zoro. “What size do you think I’m wearing?!”

Zoro rolls his eyes.

“That’s your concern here?!”

“They’re the ones you bought in Nanohana!”

Sanji grimaces, remembering the damn changing room disaster and that he still owes Zoro a good kicking for daring to drop Nami today as well. Damn interruptions!

“Monkey D. Luffy.” Miss All Sunday speaks again. Her voice is far too charming for a villain like her, truly. “You’ve not forgotten what you did to me, have you?”

“What you did?!” Sanji pushes Luffy against the mast.

“I did nothing!” Luffy pouts like a child and bends his head aside to glare at Robin. “Why’re you lying?!”

Sanji hesitates. Luffy seems to have no clue about romance, let alone taking advantage of someone. Miss All Sunday is still an enemy, she might just be trying to trick them-

“You’ve committed an unforgivable act upon me… one that I cannot ever forget.”

“You bastard!” Sanji feels his blood boil and can’t help himself from shaking Luffy. It’s better than what he actually wants to do, because there is still a chance Luffy was just a moron and had no idea what he was doing, but honestly. Can’t he trust anyone on this damn crew around women?!

“What d’ya even want?!” Luffy pulls his head away again from the shaking to speak.

Sanji curses and starts winding his neck right back, but he’s looking to the side and still catches Miss All Sunday’s smile with the perfectly pleasant indifference of someone asking for favour they don’t personally care one way about.

“Let me join your crew.”

Sanji drops Luffy and just stares at Miss All Sunday.

“Your crime… of saving my life, when I wished for death. I have no place to go now, so let me stay on your ship.”

Luffy stares too, the unnerving way that can make you feel like he’s looking right through you and Miss All Sunday takes it all without blinking. All of a sudden, Sanji hates her perfectly pleasant smile and that he has no better name to call her, even in his thoughts.

“That sucks. No choice then – you can stay!”

Well, that’s good enough for Sanji! He hadn’t sworn loyalty to Luffy only to question his every decision, has he?

He lets others argue with Luffy and goes to make their new crewmate and cool drink, it couldn’t have been pleasant hiding away under the deck while they sailed and sun from the Navy. He leaves an ear out for a name and grins when he finally hears it – Nico Robin, as lovely as the woman herself! Finally, something proper to call her that isn’t connected to that sordid Alabasta affair.

He adds some fresh mint to finish and picks up the cup, then skips up the stairs back to the deck.

“Here you go, lovely lady!” He spins in place for the effects and bows to present it for her.

He makes a mistake of reaching with his marked hand, the Strawhat bright and visible on his skin, and Robin reached with her own, skin still blank. Well, that’s gonna complicate things a tad, obviously, but it doesn’t matter for Sanji. Who says she’s here to match with Luffy and not someone else on the crew, after all? Or maybe she will join them just briefly and doesn’t need a mark at all!

The sudden silence is thick enough to give Zoro’s swords a challenge and the time seems to stand still. Nico Robin, mercifully, finally grabs the cup and pulls it back.

“How do I go about getting your little tattoo to match?” she asks before taking a sip.

Sanji’s taking steps before he’s fully conscious of moving. 

 “Those are not-!” Luffy starts screaming and stop only because Sanji covers his mouth.

“Those are earned, lovely Robin. Just wait a little and I’m sure you’ll have yours!” Sanji grins even as his insides twist and bile rises in his throat at deceiving such a lovely lady. He has no choice.

They’re no longer in the East Blue where information barely leaves the ocean, they’re on the Grand Line. If someone learns about Luffy’s curious way of gaining crewmates, they’ll just be opening themselves for trouble like spies, infiltrators and deceivers. That the swan freak ended up helping them was a saving grace. A fruit like that and a tattoo could doom them.

He has family to protect, and as much as it pains him, Robin just showed herself to not be part of it. Not yet, at least, which means he has to keep them all protected for now, even if it feels like chewing on glass.

Besides, he’s gonna make it up to her! He’ll make it all up to the poor beauty right in front of him who is actually named Nico Robin and could definitely use some snacks, compliments and spoiling. Just look at her impeccably practiced smiles, flawlessly distant speech and general ambivalence towards anything, even her own fate.

She reminds him of his mother so much it almost hurts to look at her. So what’s a tiny lie that makes it hurt a little bit more?

Nico Robin looks at him and smiles a perfectly pleasant smile.

“Of course.” She says and sips her drink. “Delicious. Mint and those luscious tangerines, am I right?”

Sanji grins and sits down to talk about the drink, glad to have someone beside Nami who truly appreciates it.

He completely forgets about Zoro fort the rest of the day, right until he makes evening snacks for the ladies and after giving one to Nami and can’t find Robin to do the same. Merry isn’t so big as to hide someone, so he easily starts going trough the rooms to look for her – wouldn’t do to have her join and then hide herself away, not feeling accepted from the starts.

There is a small, tiny corner of his mind that he’s doing his best to suffocate, one desperately romantic prat that’s been obsessing over the events of Drum and now Alabasta – especially Nami’s sickness and Vivi’s separation. It’s a part that quietly wonders if Robin might be slightly more open to relationships among the crew.

It’s not something he considered before, not that seriously. He was more than happy to adore any and all ladies he encountered in Baratie, since it wasn’t like he was getting old yet or risking his life fighting poser Marines or wannabe pirates at Baratie. With Nami almost dying and Vivi leaving though - with Luffy throwing hands with a Warlord of the sea as if Zoro’s stunt with Mihawk didn’t fill the idiocy quote for the crew more than well enough, with Luffy’s mark on his hand that he just knew would not be gone even if his silly captain were to die, to hell with rules and reality…

Well. Damn him for hoping he might not spend his life along.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t imagine it before – when all he could do was make up things in his head and pretend he wasn’t rotting from inside out, slowly dying while still alive. So what if he imagined someone breaking down the bars, bending the metal to save him - discovering a mystery soulmark he somehow missed or seeing one bloom to life on his skin as she appears?

Leaving Vivi was-

He shook his head. It was enough heartbreak for a lifetime for him and as vile as the words echo in his own head, she was only his friend. Not a lover, not a soul match, only a dearest crewmate and companion – his heart was still shattered and picking the pieces only hurt more with every memory of her popping out, ever memory of her voice, smile, eyes, hair, skin, hands, screams, blood. Anything of her was too precious to ever let fade, so Sanji found himself ruminating even as it digs into the fresh heartache and kept picking at it like sharp fingers at a wound, seeking a bone to snape in to for more fun.

Trying to avoid pain while in this crew quickly turned out be a gruelling exercise in flutily, but Sanji didn’t mind. If there was one thing he excelled at it was baring the pain, wasn’t it?

He was all but made for it. He would do it splendidly and without a single complaint, so other can mourn and weep over warm food and fresh drinks, keeping an eye on their idiot swordsman so they’re protected in the meanwhile as well.

It’s not like Sanji especially wanted to get married, one day. He sure imagined his future with prettiest wife in all the seas as his side, but never any children, spoiling her rotten and making it his life’s mission to keep her safe, happy and without a single care in her life. Making the best food for her, buying best gifts, showing best sights and proving best entertainment.

He just never thought about it in much detail and now, he very suddenly realized with start clarity that being in this crew for life meant any chance for romance would have to happen among the crew as well – and he doubted Luffy would be much inclined to seek out women. He already knew it’s a tossup whether their next crewmate is human and now, apparently, they’ll be lucky if they’re not a past enemy.

Sanji was gonna shoot his shot, or at the very least see if the shooting range was open at the very least. If nothing else, best to do it when they barely know each other and the humiliation will be lessened.

Yet with each passing minute, he finds nothing, not a hair or smile or wink of Robin. He finds Usopp making a mess by the rudder and threatens him into keeping the spoiled eggs away from the main fridge if he knows what’s good for him this time and helps Chopper with preparing some of the Alabasta’s herbs for drying and storage and only has to kick Luffy away from kitchen seven times. Good thing his drink was a cool fruit tea, so it didn’t carry risk of diluting or going cold.

He takes a break to think trough which place he has left and reconsider if he should risk interrupting Nami’s work so she can their shared room. That’s when he hears talking, almost too soft to be understood, but that was never a problem for him. He perks up his ears, closing his eyes to focus better and grimaces when at first only recognizes familiar scraping of the hull being cleaned of barnacles.

Guess it was never a bad thing someone picked up the most loathed chore, but who-

“Keeping busy, mister Bushido?” Robin’s voice is soft and melodic and definitely coming from overboard. Sanji almost falls over himself, leaning over the broadside to make sure she is safe.

He finds Zoro perched up on the hanging plank with a scraped and Robin sat up on a chain of hands growing out of the ship’s side nearby with a book on her lap. She was truly a genius with her fruit, to turn one as peculiar into something so useful!

“So are you.” Zoro scoffs and Sanji eyes his drink, considering pouring it over his head. Maybe it would could the moron down and teach him to be proper with the ladies!

He’s not even wearing a shirt right now, honestly! Has he no sense of decorum at all? What a stupid question, it’s Zoro, so of course he hasn’t, but Sanji would’ve hoped be kicked enough propriety into him to remember to at least not walk around half naked! Honestly, this crew, worse than Baratie’s miscreants sometimes.

Well, not even Zoro’s stupidity is worth wasting food, so after putting the drink down Sanji shakes his head and crouches behind the railing, tunings back into the conversation below. It’s hard not to, hearing Zoro’s familiar snarl he usually reserves for enemies catch his ear.

“…not a word!”

Thankfully Robin chuckles, so Sanji decides not to jump over and kick some manners into the idiot swordsman.

“Meant no offence.”

“Sure you didn’t.” Zoro scoffs and the sounds of scraping come back.

Sanji has to strain his ears a little to hear properly, some words still escaping him.

"Coincidentally … plan to ever…?” Robin pauses, and then her words turn strange, more melodic, but at the same time completely incomprehensible.

Zoro barks a laugh and says something strange, too – words coming off clipped, but still more elegant than he ever sounded.

Sanji sighs and wishes he could speak his own native tongue without it outing him as a liar. His attacks and humming in the kitchen are as far as he ever dares to use it.

"I'll show … want …"

Robin laughs and Sanji gets lost admiring the sound that he looses track of the words for a moment again.

" …let us hope … no one else decided to step on the-"

"…hook up so … attention to you … trying."

Sanji jumps to his feet, leaning over the railing again and not caring about being detected. Since when does Zoro care and how could Robin ever consider?!

"I have no idea … mister bushido."

"… pretty bare … and wait for … your ass."

"When - not if?"

"You don't … I do. When."

"I shall take my leave.”

Sanji doesn’t wait to get caught and turns on his heel to flee to kitchens like he’s a child again, caught binging from the scraps bucket by Zeff. He downs a few glasses of water until his stomach protests and then busies himself with taking a stock of everything new he got from the Alabasta. He did it twice already before they left so he can be sure nothing would spoil or go bad, especially with so many new things being kept for medicinal reasons thanks to Chopper and Vivi’s insight.

Sanji sighed and shoved a drawer closed, wondering if Robin might have some more insight to offer – she lived in Alabasta for quite a while after all. He almost turned to find her before remembering she would likely be – busy, still.

At least he was humiliated with no audience to witness it. Small mercies.

Damn mosshead, since when had the bastard held any interest in women?! And how dare he treat lovely Robin so crudely – if she was to be romanced it should done with delicious food and finest clothes and most expensive gifts! Not whatever this brute was doing.

Honestly, he understood even less how she could agree – or at least, he naively hoped she would feel welcomed in their crew and not in need of weaving webs of connections from the very starts. Clearly, he must double his efforts to make her feel welcomed the part of their crew!

Sanji grins and turns on his heel to march right back into the pantry. As unfortunate as her choice of partner might be, it would be amiss to not provide Robin with snacks and refreshments when that sordid affair is done with.

It’s not something that will ever be on Zoro’s mind, that’s for sure!

Sanji can’t say for sure if his efforts have helped – if the snacks and drinks and compliments and books and compliments were worth anything in the end. As the party goes on and he watches Robin, grinning ugly wide with all her teeth showing down the crooked molar on the left, and her eyes closed and not looking out for any dangers around her, Sanji feels better than he had in weeks.

He keeps watching Robin as Merry slowly floats down from the Sky Island, just to enjoy her smirks and crooked grins, to admire the way her eyelashes cast shadows on her cheeks whenever he can catch her with her eyes closed, to count each vertebra if he sees her ben over books at random places of the ship. He grins anytime he catches a stray eye or ear just out of view, starting a new habit of looking over the walls in the kitchen before doing any cooking as not to unnecessarily irritate them with stray spice or swipe of a knife.

He would never forgive himself.

“Sanji?” Robin calls from the deck and Sanji spins in place with delight at the very way his name sounds in her voice, not just a pleasantly vague moniker. “Chopper would like us all to talk.”

“Coming right up, lovely Robin!” he calls back and takes a moment to turn off the gas to a simmer and ties up the pots before leaving. The ropes don’t stop Luffy, but he’s usually too lazy to actually remove them and just cracks the lid open to reach in until it inevitably snaps back closed with bang loud enough to alert Sanji. It saves enough food for the rest of them, so he counts it as successful strategy.

He washes his hands and then grabs two drinks and a bag before skipping up the stairs two at a time.

“Nami dear, with all this sunbathing you must be parched!” he finds her first, laid comfortably among the tangerine trees and hands her a cool glass. “Some cucumber and lemon juice with spinach for health and a dash of your lovely crop to cut the sour notes and crushed ice to cool you off.” He lets his eyes trail off her naked back, covered with a towel clearly thrown on moments before and straightens his shoulders, willing his body to behave as he always does. Bloody sleeve and sniffles are a small sacrifice to make in exchange of keeping some dignity.

Not like he would ever disrespect a lady by allowing himself to give into his baser urges.

Not like some in this crew, clearly!

“Perfect.” Nami grins around her first sip and sighs, sliding lower on her lawn-chair. Sanji leans down to fix the towel where is started to slide off and pressed forearm to his nose to avoid accidentally dripping blood on her.

“Of course!” he bows and turs right away to walk from between the tangerine trees, leaving behind their sweet scent. He joins Robin where she sits against Marry’s figurehead, Luffy laid over it like he often does. She’s curled over one of the books she exchanged for with Shandorians and Sanji can’t help his grin at seeing her awkwardly bent over, neck craned, ends of hair pooling on the pages.

“Break for refreshment, lovely Robin?” he bows down to offer the glass at her level and tilts his head to look at her upside down, smiling when it makes her chuckle. “I got some lovely mixed citrus syrup reduced and served over crushed ice and cucumber dice.”

“No spinach for me?” She rises a brow and Sanji twist to stand upright before bowing again, much more properly.

“I wouldn’t dare!” He swears, just in case Robin might still need reassurance. He shudders remembering the fateful quiche he served that made him discover Robin was allergic to spinach, though quite mildly, thank small mercies. “No dastardly spinach shall come to cause you harm, lovely Robin, I swear on that with my life!”

“If you finished proposing, where’s mine?” Zoro plops himself nearby like a sack of potatoes dropped from a roof and Sanji glares at him, straightening up.

He takes petty satisfaction in throwing bag with bottled water at him and rolls his eyes at the way bastard catches it effortlessly and down one right away. He throws one to Luffy who eats it whole and Sanji should honestly stop being surprised at anything when it comes to him, yet chewing glass still gets him sometimes.

Then Usopp pop out from under the deck and shrieks seeing his bottle incoming before hitting it with his Kabuto. Or at least he attempts to, but it slides off the wooden prong and falls into the leather pocket. Sanji watches it stretch the rubber until it’s launched right back at Zoro, who by now turned to grab Luffy who was spitting the glass chunks out and it seems he wanted to try and see if he could pop the octopus that was keeping their ship floating and not plummeting thousands of miles down. Sanji watches the bottle break on Zoro’s head and drench him in water and dregs of spinach with a chuckle and walks to the small nook they keep the broom in for such occasions.

“We-we-well, Zoro!” Usopp jumps right behind the mast as Zoro turns around, dripping water and looking living. “Countr as your weekly shower, doesn’t it?”

“You’re asking for it!” Zoro jumps to the deck and Usopp yelp, taking off.

Sanji feels charitable, so he lets Zoro chase their sniper until he swiped up all the broken glass and mopped up the water before grabbing Zoro by his drenched shirt to stop him in place.

“Behave, moss-head – or is it spinach-head now?” he snorts and let’s of the fabric, shaking off the dampness from his hand.

“Piss off.” Zoro grunts and jerks away.

Sanji opens his mouth to say something, except then Zoro pulls his shirt out of the haramaki and uses the lower, dry half to wipe his face dry.

“Disgusting. Were you raised in the street, honestly!”

“Only since 8.” Zoro smirks and Sanji gives a kick to start him on the way back to the rest of the crew.

“Of course you’re tasteless enough to make jokes like that.” He scoffs and stomps past him, chewing on a cigarette until he stands by Robin. “Chopper called us, right?”

“Yes.” She grins and lifts her hands in familiar gesture, one she no longer hides away from them, as she uses her fruit to call Chopper over from wherever he is on the ship.

Sanji watched her with satisfied grin that lasts right until Choops explains what he wants from them.

“So, I thought, we should made sure we know all out marks – and it’s such perfect opportunity now, no one can spy on us now! So if you can say if you’re marked and matched I’ll get it all down and keep a record for the future, so no one can try and sneak in!” Chopper grins and he looks so proud of himself Sanji can’t help but smile a little too.

“Great idea.” Zoro pats Chopper’s hat and the reindeer wiggles his feet happily.

“Right, great…” Usopp nods his head slowly, crossing his arm. “Until you remember the flying spies from horrific Germa Kingdom!”

“The what?!” Chopper yelps and jumps up. His antler jabs Zoro right in the face. If Sanji wasn’t biting his tongue hard enough to be swallowing blood he’d chuckle.

“Yes, they breed them with hollow bones, you know – just like birds! So they fly all around and that’s how they get all their intel!” Usopp spins the tale, hands moving and Chopper shrieks in growing panic.

“No worry, Chopper.” Zoro grins and drops a hand on Usopp’s arm and Sanji grimaces just seeing the way his fingers grip him hard. “After all, we have the best sniper around – I’m sure he’s just gonna snipe them right from the sky, won’t he?” he glares down at Usopp who starts nodding fervently.

“Right so, right so!” He puts shaking arm on his hip and point the other one at the window. “Why, I’ve took down dozens of their little spies already! I can take a hundred more no problem!”

“Have you?!” By now Luffy joined Chopper and they both squeal with delight.

“Of course, can’t let those Germa monsters spy on us, can I?”

“Funny spies that no one ever sees them.” Nami calls from between the trees. “Do the corpses float away?”

“Silly woman!” Usopp scoffs and yelps when Sanji kicks at his shin, almost stumbling down as he climbs a water barrel nearby. “I-I mean, great navigator that nevertheless lacks occasional insight in smaller of areas, on rare occasion – why of course they make then turn invisible as well!”

Nami laughs out laugh at that and Sanji delights in the sound.

“Where’d do you get that nonsense, a coming cook?”

“How’d you- I-I mean, preposterous!” Usopp doesn’t recover at all and points at Chopper. “So have no fear, we can discuss our marks without any fear of unwanted ears listening in!”

“Great!” Chopper cheers on. “I know we all got Luffy’s mark.” He starts, showing off a hoof with a discoloration that makes up precise shape of Luffy’s hat.

Sanji grins, remembering how much Chopper had panicked at first, when even his witch doctor couldn’t explain why he got a human soulmark when he’s an animal. She theorized it might be result of his Human fruit and they accepted that as good enough answer.

Sanji raises his arm in answer like they all do and Luffy waves his own with a happy scream, little symbols on his fingers matching them all like rings. Sanji would be embarrassed about it if he didn’t feel like crying anytime he saw how genuinely happy Luffy seems to be to have them all be his.

The screaming makes the octopus holding their ship jostle and Merry sways, sending them sliding all over the deck.

“Quiet!” Nami knocks Luffy on his head and sits down, towel wrapped around her torse and tied around her neck. “If you’re so eager you can start.”

“I’m all marked up!” Luffy stated proudly and there is dead silence for a moment, before Zoro knocks him on the head.

“Couple marks, you walking disaster.” He sighs and Luffy pouts.

“But you’re all mine and got your marks to prove it, what’s the difference?”

“There is one, but you don’t need to get it.” Nami waves him off immediately and grabs Luffy’s arm. “Out marks these two, right?” she asks, gentler, pointing at the mark wrapping around his wrist.

Sanji forces himself not to stare. Beside their little rings, Luffy has two more marks, bracelets around his wrists – and one of them is covered in little scars and cuts. From what he heard, he had them before he met even Zoro. None on the crew ever asked about them or even mentioned them before.

After a moment of Luffy just staring down at his hands he nods and Nami takes back over immediately.

“Great!” she jumps to her feet and grabs the knot of her towel, fiddling with it. “Marked and matched.” She almost spits out and turns on her heel.

She pulls on he knot, letting the fabric fall loose and uncovering her naked back. There is a mark covering her skin, a stream of water bursting over her shoulder blade and a brilliant rainbow bowing out from that down her spine to something on her tailbone, still covered with her shorts.

“Wait, you - matched with-?” Usopp stutters, poking at Nami’s back like the mark might wipe like cheap paint and Sanji restrains himself from giving him a kick for sheer gal to have such suspicions aimed at Nami.

“Vivi.” Nami raises he head and glares at them all, challenging.

“Took you long enough.” Zoro raises a small bottle in a toast and that breaks the mood, Usopp cheering and grabbing Chopper to spin with him in place, Robin raising her arms to have hands sprout from Nami’s sides to offer her a hug while Luffy grabs the railing to launch himself at Nami.

“Let me dress you idiots!” Nami keeps Luffy away with her foot long enough to tie the towel back securely, but then she lets him have at it and everyone else follows suit. Even Zoro picks himself up to wrap an arm around her and par her shoulder with a grin.

Sanji sits stock still on the deck, realizing with painful clarity just what did he glimpse in the changing room in Nanohana – and why Nami an would’ve asked Zoro to come in to help them and no one else. Why there might’ve been screaming, but he saw no change in their behaviour after such traitorous behaviour. Why Nami was inconsolable after Vivi stayed behind – when Zoro was the one to care for her, keep an eye on all of them, really.

Damn it!

How useless was he all this time? Wasn’t he supposed to be caring for his crew, for the ladies especially, making them feel loved and welcomed? What was he doing instead? All the while taking it out on Zoro, who was putting in the actual work?

“Sanji, we gotta celebrate for Nami and Vivi! Feast!”

Sanji sighs and gets up. Well, that’s free evening for him, he should at least be able to get cooking done in peace-

“Let’s wait till we’re on the water at least.” Nami shakes her head. “I don’t trust any of you drunk to not fall overboard.”

“Guilty. “Zoro laughs and sits back down. “Marked and unmatched.” He says and there is suddenly complete silence again.

“Since when are YOU marked?!” Usopp points at accusing finger at him.

“Yeah, I’ve dragged you to bath enough times to know there’s nothing on you.” Sanji adds, eyeing him suspiciously. It’s not like he has been particularly looking for it, but he would’ve noticed, wouldn’t he?

He wasn’t that blind and worthless of a crewmate, was he?

“Why, love-cook, have you been admiring?” Zoro smirks and Sanji charitably makes a retching sound instead of kicking him to not spoil the happy mood.

“Unmarked – Usopp?” He says instead to change the focus.

“Marked and matched to my lovely Kaya – did I mention, in her last letter she said in her last exam, she scored full-”

“Full mark, only fifteen times.” Nami cuts him off and turn to Robin. “How about you?” She asks and tilts her heads, some hesitation flavouring her curiosity still.

“Market, but unmatched as well.”

Sanji’s heart sinks. At the same time, his mouth starts moving.

“Well, show them then!” he claps his hands and ignores the looks he gets. “Two unmatched people on the crew? We gotta see if you’re a pair!”

Nami taps her cheek, looking between Zoro and Robin.

“It is worth a-”

“NO.” Zoro’s voice cuts Nami off sharper than his swords would’ve and she flinches like she’s been hit.

“Oi, moss-head!” Sanji jumps to his feet. “Be gentler with the ladies.”

“I know I’m not a match to anyone on board.” Zoro levels them all with the strangest look and something twists in Sanji gust again, watching it, like he ate something rotten and it’s not festering.

“You can say what they look like, at least?” Usopp waves his hands placidly and sends Robin a pleading look.

“Mine is quite mechanical.”

“See?” Zoro sneers and takes a gulp form his flask. “Nothing mechanical about mine, we don’t match - so drop it.”

Nami bends over him, poking at his flask.

“What is it though? Maybe we can help keep an eye out for your-”

“Drop it!” Zoro snarls and Nami stumbles back.

“Cool off!” Sanji kicks Zoro this time, sending him at the other end of the deck. “Luffy, get him under control!”

“He told you he’s not a match.” Luffy shrugs, already back on Merry’s head and laying in the sun. Why did Sanji even try?

Right, because he’s useless moron.

He rubs Nami’s shoulder soothingly and glares at Zoro.

“Y-yeah, not our business what’s his mark!” Chopper pipes up. “Maybe it’s ugly or, or really stupid.”

“Or his match is a pirate he caught!” Usopp grimaces. “Or a Marine.”

“Or someone rejected him and he cannot stand to think of them anymore.” Robin leans her chin on her hand.

“Ouch, Robin, spare him some dignity.” Usop chuckles, glancing nervously at Zoro’s stormy face. “ A-anyway! That’s all of use checked – two happy couples in the crew! Two more to come maybe possibly who knows we’re not asking so no pressure! Aren’t we lucky?”

Nami smiler bitterly, wrapping an arm around herself so she can reach a hand behind and rub finger over her shoulder.

“Yeah, so lucky.” She sigh before putting on a smile. “Right, anything else Chopper?”

“Just the platonic marks since we got the couple ones done!”

“I share a tattoo with Nojiko.” Nami’s smile become a little more real as her hand moves, finger trailing over a swirling line around tattoo covering what once was Arlong’s mark.

“Nothing here.” Usop waves a hand.

“None here either.” Robin shrugs.

“Nothing more!” Luffy waves a foot from the figurehead.

“Only this one.” Zoro turns his arm and moves his bandana down. There is a mark on his skin, resembling a scar.

Usopp leans in to look closer and lets out an impressed whistle.

“Who marked you with this one?”

“Old man died for our village, everyone got it after that.” Zoro shrugs one shoulder as he pulls the bandana back up to cover the mark and takes another swig from his flask.

“Great!” Sanji turns and starts waling to the stairs. He needs some alone time. “I’ll be making dinner so stay out of the kitchen – no party doesn’t mean we can’t celebrate for you, Nami dear – what cake would you like? I can whip up something quick. On such high altitude we might try to keep things little simpler, no idea how it might interfere with-”

“…but Sanji got two marks?

Sanji blinks, hearing Chopper’s words, but not processing them as they echo in his head as if in foreign language. He watches the steps of the staircase coming closer and realizes he froze up, currently falling down and about to faceplant into a nice, sharp edge of the wooden step with his head.

Good, he thinks delirious as someone creams his name. Maybe a good hit or some blood-loss is what he needs, because he could not have heard correctly. He never had a mark, his brothers alone would’ve beaten the unnatural of it into him until he could never forget it, Luffy’s hat on his hand was the only one on his skin, so how could Chopper think he carried another-?

The world spins into sharp focus.

“Cook?” Zoro’s voice comes in muffled and Sanji need to blink a few more times to get back his awareness and notice the position he’s in.

And it’s one awkward as hell, because the stairwell is tiny and moss head turned them around when he caught him. He has Sanji’s arm pulled up high and held up to the wall and shit, Sanji can definitely feel arm popped out of a socked that’s gonna be bitch to put back in later. It puts them uncomfortably close and he can

Zoro keeps staring at him, over his arm, like he can’t look at him and Sanji feels his face burn in shame. Liar even when he doesn’t mean to, how fitting.

He jolts out of Zoro’s hold trying to save at least a shred of his dignity by not crying in front of anyone, but he barely takes one clumsy step back before there are arms fumbling for him and pulling him right, pressing him against a soft chest. Too soft – that’s weird, shouldn’t Zoro feel harder? To his never-ending humiliation, Sanji remembers the misunderstanding about his exercise routine and kept his role as Nami’s replacement if only because it gives him a chance to occasionally succeed in forcing their nasty swordsman to join him in the shower afterwards as compensation of ruining Sanji’s clothes. So he knows his muscles back can feel hard as a polished wood, so why does his chest feel so comfortably soft where it has Sanji’s face pressed against it and gods, did he hit his head after all, because why is he thinking about all this at all if not for a concussion?!

Sanji snaps back into awareness as is slapped into it. One of the things he feels first and muscle pain in his leg, one he started reaching back with it and it’s bend awkwardly as it leans against the damn floor. He can feel the smooth tiles of the kitchenet put in for the ease of cleaning.

Idiot mosshead saving him from whole bump in the head, how useless does he take him for?!

“We’re at the bottom, you seaweed brain, let go now!” he hisses out, face still pressed again Zoro’s chest. They’re so close he can smell his sweat and the cheap soap he uses for himself and his clothing both – he knows, because he was the baffling process idiot uses of bathing clothed to laundry them before getting naked more than once and probably lost some braincells over trying to understand it before he gave up.

Sanji’s close enough to feel his own hair move as Zoro’s jaw flexes as he’s trying to say something, but doesn’t. He feels his burning as the way he can feel his own cheekbone pressing to the nipple trough the chin fabric.

Humiliating.

Zoro blinks, eyes moving around slowly before he lets go and takes a frantic step back. He trips on the steps and lands ungracefully on his ass. Can’t even touch him, great. Just what Sanji needed when they’re stuck for who know how long floating and isolated.

Zoro coughs over some words stuck in his throat and Sanji straightens himself up, taking the chance to pop his arm into place without worrying anyone.

“Don’t- watch your step, cook.” Zoro forces out finally, arms moving around weirdly until Sanji notices his bare side, no sword to lean it over with. He’s fully clothes, but it makes him look weirdly naked and-

No, he’s not using vulnerable in the same sentence as Zoro, not without an actual concussion.

He pushes him away and walks right past him back onto the deck, right to Chopper.

“What do you mean – two marks?” he asks, breathless, because he lungs suddenly can’t remember how to expands and his heart is trashing everywhere in his chest.

Chopper fidgets, his nose twitching.

“I-I just mean - was it secret? I didn’t mean it!” he waves his hooves. “Saw it when I was patching up your burns, after the trials – I can pretend I never did! We heard nothing, right guys?”

“I can’t.” Usopp mutters then yelps as Nami elbows his side.

Sanji collapses onto the deck.

“I got – I have another mark?” he raises his, shoving Luffy’s hat on top of his palm to Chopper’s face. “Not just this one?”

He has to make sure, because if- if what Chopper is saying is true, he might – he has a soulmate. He has a match somewhere out there, waiting for him!

“Y-yeah - yes, you have. Here.” Chopper rubes at his neck and Sanji’s hand immediately goes to his own nape, even when he knows you cannot feel the mark.

If you could he would’ve been far less miserable for so many years-!

“Right.” Zoro walks past him and waves his flask vaguely in his direction. “Congrats. Let’s all leave you to discuss it then.” He says, in tone not leaving much room to talk and Sanji hears shuffling of everyone else leaving, even Luffy whining as he’s pulled along.

He looks at Chopper, desperately.

“How does it look like?” he asks finally, barely audibly.

“Real pretty!” Chopper smiler and sits down to get a piece of paper and starts sketching. Sanji was surprised at first, how good he is at drawing, but then he learned how many of his own books he illustrated himself and it all made sense.

Chopper draws three circular chapes in a line. They’re a fruit, but he’s not quire sure which one without a better drawing of looking at them himself. He wonders if Nami might spare him a hand mirror. Would Robin? He could swap chores or food for it.

“Why didn’t you- I-I never knew.” He chokes out and bites his tongue before he says too much, or something he might regret.

Chopper gapes at him for a moment before his face shifts trough horror and pity, then finally landing on only half-faked cheer. Sanji will take that.

“A-anyhow, you know now! Looks familiar?”

Sanji stares at the drawing and wracks his brain for a good moment before shaking his head.

“No, but – I know what to look for now.” Sanji holds the paper to his chest and grins.

Soulmate. He has a soulmate! He wasn’t broken, he wasn’t as defective as they always told him – fate still found him worth of matching someone to him!

Nothing dampens his mood for long, long weeks after that discovery. He doesn’t fully break out of the delighted fog until Robin leaves them and they have to scramble for Enies Lobby to save her by the skin of their teeth.

When he does, it’s being kicked to the carved stones after failed training. Cruel, cold reminder of just how worthless he is – what exactly does he have to offer his soulmate? How could he ever be worth them – how could he ask them for anything if he met them?

Still, as they wander over Thriller Bark and their shadows get stolen – as he learns that the shadow takes your mark with you, he turns frantic. Doesn’t rest until he has his own back and runs for anything reflective around to make sure it’s back on his neck, right where it should be.

He has a soulmark. At the very least, he managed to protect it from Moria if nothing else. He could still do that much. He couldn’t get the fruit he dreamed of, he couldn’t help out much and Nami almost ended married to some creep an all of them dead because he was too weak, but in the end, he managed to get his mark back.

So when a Warlord appears it’s an obvious choice to give his own life. Over Luffy – and over Zoro. How could he not? They both want to become something, become something outstanding, while Sanji… he wants to see All Blue, because it’s something his family said can’t exists. If he could just see it, it would make them liars and it they lied about that, then maybe- then other things they said could also-

What a pathetic dream of a lifetime, running from Vinsmokes only to twist his life right back around them. With Kuma’s technology, whatever was done to his body should at least be worth enough to save their crew no matter what, shouldn’t it?

Zoro has a math waiting for him somewhere, too. He can become someone far better than Sanji ever could and deserve them. How could he let him die here like that?

That’s when Zoro, the bastard, knocks him out.

He comes to shakes and unable to breathe without pain, his side bright red where Zoro’s sword hit its mark. He stumbles to his feet, blood running cold as he watched Luffy jump around perfectly fine.

“Bastard… where d’you go?” he slides off a collapsed wall and hits a wall to stop himself from falling over. He rubs dust out of his eyes and keeps swiping sweat from his face as he turns corners and finds dead ends or collapses stone. Gust sends a chill up his spine and he chases after it, finally stumbling outside.

“Zoro!” he starts searching more frantically. “There hell did you go?! Answer me!” he grabs branches to keep upright when he legs threaten to give out and clutches his chest to force his lungs to keep breathing. “Zoro!” he spun around and cursed as his foot caught on a broken stone and almost send him flying.

He struggled to keep on his feet, grabbing for branches. They kept snapping until one finally kept his weight and he could catch a few breaths.

“Damn moron – if you died, I’m gonna drag you back from Vegapunk or wherever he took you and kill you myself!” he hissed trough fritted teeth and eyed a chunk of stonework in front of him. It was too tall to climb so he just leaned against it and slowly pushed himself with shaking legs.

The moment his head passed the highest point, he was hit with the stench of blood, bile and waste. He swallowed down nausea and forced himself to hum to stave it off, frantically kicking off with his heels to launch over the last bit of the collapsed wall. He slid down it ungracefully and barely stayed on his feet at the bottom.

He runs the moment his feet hit the ground, with all energy he had left.

“Zoro!”

There was blood and every other fluid everywhere, gathering in poodles and dripping of the stones. Zoro stood stock still, arms crossed and face unreadable as Sanji came closer.

“What happened?” he reached out, but couldn’t find a single place he felt safe enough touching without worry it might cause any more harm. “Where’s the Warlord?!”

What the happened here?!

Zoro took long, painful seconds to respond at all, face twitching until he finally blinked once, twice, eye moving just a little into Sanji’s direction, his breathe hitching as even that seemed to bring more blood dripping down his face.

“Nothing. Happened.” Zoro spat out the words like he was breaking centuries long vow of silence and Sanji felt cold shiver run up his spine again.

“The hell you mean nothing – look at you! What’d he do to you?!” He wanted to aske more, scream questions at Zoro until he forced out answer out of him, but he made mistake of touching his arm.

The moment Sanji made contact, Zoro collapsed. Like puppet with all strings cut, his bloodshot eyes roll over and his body goes limp. Sanji stagger under his weight and hold him closer, even as his legs shake under the strain.

“No, you – just die – you can’t – doctor. Need a Chopper – a doctor! Chopper! HELP! CHOPPER – ANYONE! HELP”

Thing become a blur after that.

He keeps hold of Zoro. He won’t – he can’t let go. He does anything Chopper asks him to do, hold him down and passes tolls and bowls and hold metal tool in place as they keep flesh and bones spread apart in a morbid display like he hasn’t seen since childhood. He keeps the tools still as his muscles burn and his arms spasm in protest, uncaring for the damage.

He comes to a deafening, unending wail of one of the machines and turns his head to Chopper.

“W-what’s wrong?” he asks and coughs for a good moment, felling like he should spit up pieces of lungs or shards of ribs. He does his best to move as little as he can still, not to jostle Zoro who’s still laid over his lap for ease of holding down when needed.

“Go-one.” Chopper trips over the word and something metal dings at it falls from his hoof to the floor. “His heart has- it stopped.”

Sanji shakes his head, trying to force the words out, because sure he must’ve misheard.

Zoro can’t have-

No, he won’t even think it. He can’t. He wouldn’t dare.

“He can’t. S-something go loose or – just continue!”

Chopper shifts to his smaller form and still curls up on himself. The machine keep wailing in unbroken note.

“I-I can’t just – if it stopped, he must’ve lost so much blood – too much. I can’t just – I was too late!”

Sanji shakes his head again, clutching edge of the battered wardrobe they found to serve as operating table, then he lets go. He moves slowly to kneel and slides his hands over Zoro’s chest, trying to remember how he looks normally and not cut open and vivisected, until he can grab a hold of his heart and start pressing in slow, measured rhythm.

“No.” he takes a shake breath. “No!” he jerks away when Chopper tries to reach for the machines. “Use mine.”

“I can’t cross it! “Chopper shakes his head. “If doesn’t match it’s just kill him faster!”

“As opposed to now?” He says, lips going numb, as if the words itself poisoned him by voicing them. “It’ll match.” He adds bitterly.

If he’s to be discovered, this is as good a reason as any.

He reached arm out for Chopper as he changed position slightly, to press his mouth to Zoro’s. He holds his nose pinched to breathe the air in and shivers, feeling where it healed from a break.

In, out.

He ignores the pinch of IV being inserted and the wailing of the machine.

In, out.

Until the noise finally, mercifully vanishes and turns back into unsteady rhythm of Zoro’s heart.

Sanji slowly pulls away when Chopper tells him too and keeps helping him with anything he’s asked for. He keeps glancing over to his hand, watching blood drip down his skin. It dries and starts chipping off to uncover little pieces of the Strawhat on his skin long before Chopper is finished.

Zoro alive, by a thread, but alive and whole again.

Sanji leaves the moment he hears it and finds first empty to spit out bile and then keep dry-heaving until he starts getting light-headed.

He’s gets cleaned at some point, and goes to check over food from Moria’s castle to make sure it’s safe for consumption, but beside that he doesn’t leave Zoro’s side.

Not until he hears two pirates smugly how they know just what happened to Zoro and drags them away to get every single detail.

To learn Zoro sacrificed himself, almost dying – almost dying for good, for their crew. For all of them, but partially for Sanji. After all their fights and how useless Sanji is, how easily he could’ve let him give up his worthless life for them instead, Zoro still did it himself.

Put his own life, his own ambition on the line.

Sanji sits by Zoro’s side, makes sure he’s nor waking up anytime soon and lets himself curse him out into a dusty pillow until he’s hoarse.

How dare he. How dare he be so much better Sanji ever expects from how, how dare he match him up bite for bite and worst of all, how dare he almost give him his life while Sanji was right there to do it instead?

Was there truly nothing he could be of use for in the crew?

Was he that useless? Not even good enough to be told the truth?

He hides his face between his legs and scratches at the nape of his neck, digging nails into his soulmark. Winders where his match is, blissfully unaware what a disaster fate chained to them.  He should’ve never learned about it, maybe it would’ve hurt less.

Who is he kidding though, all his life has been pain and managing it was only thing he was good at.

All he can do is just more of the same.

Sanji forces himself to get up and get cleaned before he looks into what food they have and what should be possible to cook before they leave. He makes note to make count of what Zoro should manage depending on when he wakes up and how well his internal injuries heal.

If he’s too weak to protect them, he’s gonna make damn well sure they’re all alive and healthy to risk their lives.

It’s the least he can offer.

There is nothing special about this moment – and it’s what might be the worst.

Sanji goes up the crow’s nest, bringing Zoro some snacks, because the idiot has no memory and constantly asks for them only to never pick them up and trip up the ladder is better than wasting food. he finds it empty though, so he leaves it there and goes under the deck.

He pushes the cracked door open and sees Zoro standing with his back to him. He stares, taking a moment to realize he looks so wrong because he’s missing the haramaki on his waist.

It’s gone, which means when he lifts his shirt over his head – just like Chopper told him not to for weeks still, stubborn bastard – Sanji sees his naked skin.

He sees the mark on his side as well. Three circular shapes, lined in black, fruit lined up one above the other.

Soulmark.

One he knows intimately, for all the hours he spends watching it in mirror and recreating it on paper, even swapping chores with Usopp to borrow his Dial to make an image of it.

Zoro’s mark, that’s supposed to not match him to to anyone on board, yet here it is, perfect copy of Sanji’s own.

He keeps standing there, watching as Soro changes his shirt. He favours one arm as he puts his bandages back on and keeps hissing when he aggravates his injuries and Sanji should be screaming at him to stop it and making a fuss.

He keeps watching Zoro finish dressing and get his haramaki on, hands sliding over it and his shirt, finger mapping out exactly where his mark is and making sure it’s hidden by two layers at least before he reaches for his sword.

Sanji’s fingers clutch at the doorknob until it breaks with a snap, splinters digging into his skin.

Zoro turns in place, turning pale when he sees it’s Sanji.

“How long-” He cuts himself off, but the damage is done. If nothing else proved what his secret was, this did it.

Sanji laughs.

“How long what. How long I watched you hide our soulmark, you mean?” He spits out and every word feels like s shard of glass.

Zoro grimaces, looking away.

“Wasn’t-” he cuts of again and sighs. “I was. Fuck.” He raised his arm only to hiss as he aggravated is injury again.

Sanji should be saying something. He always does, so much so that the crew started joking about tying him up to bed so they hear literally anything else and Sanji threatened to make Franky actually build cuffs to keep bastard in place so he lets himself heal.

Why isn’t he saying anything?

“Cook?” Zoro takes a step foreword and Sanji stumbles a few steps into the room, letting the door close.

They’re alone. Good. He’s not sure why, but – he knows he doesn’t want anyone else to see. Whatever ends up happening, it’s between him and this heartless bastard and absolutely no one else.

“We can talk about-”

“Now we can talk?” Sanji scoffs, taking few more steps. He keeps staring at Zoro’s side, where he now knows his mark is hidden. Does he keep his sword there to have them close when he finally decided to cut it out? “No match here, was it?” he hisses out and flinches when clenching his fists hurts. Right, the doorknob. “Fucking LIAR!” he can’t hold it in suddenly, choking on the world as his face turns red with humiliation.

Zoro sighs.

“Really dumb of me. I admit.” He frowns, hesitates over something and then puts his swords away. “I’m – apologize, you know. I’m sorry. You can take it out however you wanna, fine - but then we have to talk about it.”

Sanji’s moving before he can fully think it trough. He knees Zoro into his stomach and takes sick, bitter pleasure in hearing him loose his breathe. Is his heart stops it’s for no other reason than from disbelief still tripping it over – over a year!

Fucking bastard!

He kicking him into a wall and stomps right after him, listening to the coughing breathes and trying to ignore the way the wheezing between them sounds just like when he found Zoro dripping blood just days ago and wasn’t sure he wasn’t already a corpse. If it makes his breathe catch in his own throat it’s only because Zoro never crack a window in the crow’s nest and the air is stale and putrid.

Zoro hasn’t even stood up and it makes Sanji’s blood boil even more, remembering weight of his body on his arm and how slippery it was with blood, how he had to dig fingernails into his flesh to keep a hold of him and how lifeless he felt, limp and heavy in his hands. He knees him in the chest and hopes some ribs breaks and stab right into his stupid, unfeeling heart.

Match just a how he made him feel, the disloyal, silent, cruel bastard!

He takes a stumbling step back, gasping for breath and trying to ignore the way his own injuries sting. He can barely feel them anyway, over everything else. He hissed, feeling his side sting – he rubs at it absentmindedly and

How dare he look at him at look at all! But to have the gall to look to pained as if he didn’t put the bruise there himself – as if he didn’t make him black out from sheer pain to offer his own worthless life up without anyone to interfere.

As if he didn’t almost die with Sanji completely unaware – as if he didn’t keep quiet and never let him know they shared the mark!

As if he didn’t actually die, heart stopping until Chopper put it back into work! Almost leaving them all – almost leaving him.

At he did didn’t die without letting him know he might have had someone who actually felt-

As if he didn’t die without letting Sanji know he might actually be-

Zoro grabs his hand and Sanji headbutts him from pure frustration.

“Takes so little to make you a coward?” He hisses out and backs away just enough to look in Zoro’s eyes. He opened one of the cuts and there is blood quickly seeping trough the bandage, dripping down his bruised cheek.

Zoro jerks his head to the side, fingers loosening around Sanji’s wrist, but never letting go.

“Have at it.” He mumbles again. They’re close again Sanji can feel his breath on his face and it smells sickly-sweet of blood and bile. It did the same when he found him, in the moments between vomiting curdled blood and passing out in his arms.

Sanji somehow managed his entire childhood without learning blood looks like wet coffee grounds coming back up, but he does now, and he will never forgive him for that.

He snarls, raising another arm to shove those words right back into his throat-

“Not your hands.” Zoro grabs his other hand. He can’t life his own high enough, a bandage blooming red on his shoulder he tries and a wet cough wetting his lips with blood. He ends up clutching Sanji’s bicep instead.

It’s not like there is much need for it. Sanji froze at his words completely, all fight leaving him, because-

“How dare you.” He forces out, gasping for breathes that get more shallow with each attempt. “How dare you- not a single word- no fucking right- all this time- died in my arms- no fucking right!!”

He hates tears that stars pouring down his face, because Zoro doesn’t deserve them – doesn’t deserve his words either, or his violence, the vicious monster deserves nothing – just like he gave Sanji nothing all this time and would’ve died and left him with nothing between them!

Sanji could never pretend not to be greedy. He wants an ocean that hold everything and only a crew tying him up with a soulmark was good enough and finding out he had a match right among them, he’s gonna hold into him with everything he has. No matter how much it hurts.

Isn’t he used to pain by now? Isn’t that the only thing he was always best at?

He pulls his arm down and selfishly relishes the way Zoro’s fingers stay on his skin, moving against it as he reaches to his side. He scratches at the bruise on his side.

Right, he wasn’t good enough for that. Always too weak and too pathetic, not even good enough for one thing he was literally bred to do.

What is he doing?

He scratches harder, curling around himself.

What surprise was it, that Zoro wanted nothing to do with him? He must barely tolerate him in the crew, why would he want to take on even more deadweight for no benefits at all?

His dingers slip on blood and Sanji curses, jolting forward. He tries to balance himself and not disturb Zoro’s injuries any more than they already were bye their fight – fuck, who is he lying to?

By his beating.

Because he’s worthless enough to take offense to Zoro not being as much of a sacrificial moron as himself and making the right choice? Of ignoring a mark that will sure bring him nothing good? Of not deluding himself he can somehow fix it into working right?

Because he’s petty and vindictive and a liar who never tells them anything, too ashamed to reveal what a useless failure he is from ear of being abandoned as he very well should be – and Zoro’s the only one unlucky enough to be born with hair that makes him brace for pain and look for escape route before any conscious thought takes place, because for so many years that was the only thing that spared him more suffering?

Because Zoro’s not hopeless, so seeing Sanji so clearly cater to women made him read correctly he never imagined dating a man – isn’t delusional enough to force it just because Sanji cannot bare to reach out first?

Sanji breaks out sobbing and curls around Zoro, hiding his shame in his arm and crying only harder when he can smell the blood on the bandages pressing at his face. Zoro almost died – had died in his arm and only Chopper’s skill brought him back and what was Sanji doing?

He ground his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut.

Some soulmate he was. He only learned about their bond and already beat Zoro up. Now wonder he never said a word until now and who knows if he ever would’ve if Sanji hadn’t found out by accident?

“How long.” He spits back at Zoro, letting himself be petty for one more moment before he wraps it all up and shoves it under a lock and key, where it was supposed to stay and never come out. Never how ugly and broken he actually is.

“I knew?” Zoro clarifies and Sanji nods his head, shivering as he feels it rub against Zoro’s jaw. “Saw it still on Baratie – then you saw Luffy’s mark and, well.”

“Made a fucking mess of thing.” Sanji groans, remembering his childish panic at getting a mark.

In his defence, he knew far too much about the worst way pirates keep their crew together from his brief time as a street rat. He made a lot of assumptions that has nothing to do with reality and fuck, isn’t that what all his problems are in the end? Thinking he knows everything and making a mess of thing.

“Why.” He asks, finally. “Why never tell me?!”

Zoro had the audacity to shrug and poke his side with a finger.

“So you can kick me tough the wall?” he huffs out a humourless laugh. “I know when I’m unwanted.” He adds, voice co bitter it makes Sanji’s blood run colder.

He barely noticed though. he cannot believe what he’s hearing.

Unwanted? Between the two of them, Zoro though himself the one not wanted in this match?!

“You SAW me!” he curls up on himself, ready for the worst blow. “You saw me when I got Luffy’s mark and when Chopper told me I have another – how much I wanted this! How could you think I didn’t want it?!”

“Mark, sure. Me?” Zoro jostles them, just enough to suddenly put Sanji sat over his tight and pressed right to his chest. “No you didn’t.”

Sanji’s mouth, open to protest, snaps shut.

Zoro has him her, doesn’t he? It’s not a lie he never imagines himself with a man. He can’t say if he wouldn’t have had reservation if Zoro did tell him the truth too soon after them met.

Still!

Sanji straightens up, even as it makes him look Zoro right in the face and press a knee right to his crotch, his own trapping between their tights. Arousal is last thing on his mind right now, mercifully, so he can deal with that crisis later.

“I wanted- someone.” He settles on, deciding it’s best he can give. “Fine, mosshead, I would’ve freaked out – but I would’ve known! I would’ve had to time think about it and get used to the idea, not just – learn you’ve been lying to my face all the time that I’ve known you!”

Zoro’s eyes widened, as if he didn’t consider that part and Sanji laughs a little at him.

He has a sudden thought to kiss him and his stomach churns with nausea at the same time. Right. Not trying that right away, absolutely no chance.

“What else did you lie about?” he mumbles, even as he feels like complete scum doing so, because isn’t he the biggest liar, the only to still hide half of life from them?

Some soulmate he is.

“You got me.” Zoro says it in such grave tone Sanji’s heart sinks for a moment, but then he continues: “I absolutely did steal that Gin from under the sink in Jaya.”

“You bastard!” Sanji collapses against him and kicks his shin. He turns his head slightly, just enough to see scars from his own handiwork on his skin, holding it together.

They were w disaster, clearly, but they kept each other together as well. They can work with it, right? He’ll figure out all the, romantic-sexual part later. He’ll fix it somehow. He’ll fix himself, like he always does. He has to. He’ll make it work, because if he doesn’t-

If he doesn’t and he loosed Zoro he-

Sanji shakes his head and sneaks an arm under Zoro’s to. At least he tries to, but the moment he moves it he remember the doorhandle and the splinters and start cursing out the storm.

He pulls the hand up to his face, looking at them all and sighs.

“That’s gonna be a bitch to fix and you’re the one telling Usopp and Franky.” He announces and Zoro rolls his eyes at him, but doesn’t protest.

The moment Sanji tries to pull hand to his mouth it’s grabbed and held away.

“What are you doing?” Zoro looks to baffled, Sanji can’t help but chuckled a little.

“Pulling them out?”

Zoro clicks a tongue at him like he’s a child and, to Sanji’s horror, stand up while still holding him, leaving Sanji no choice but to hook an arm over his neck and wrap legs around his hips.

“What are you doing?!”

“You bitch so much about my injuries, but gonna chew out splinters?” Zoro smirks. “No chance”

Sanji grumbles, but doesn’t actually protest, even though they’re definitely squeezing or ducking on the way.

“…you good, bros?” Franky waves at them as they reach the workshop and Sanji tries to ignore the way his face is burning, thinking of Zoro having to grovel to cheer himself up.

“We’re fine. Zoro has something to tell to Usopp, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, get out here!” Zoro yells and Sanji leans his head away, ear ringing. Zoro blinks, looking down on him and smiles sheepishly. “Sorry, my bad.” He moves his head before turning it away and it takes Sanji an embarrassingly long time to realize where he recognizes it from.

He was gonna kiss- well. Kiss him, maybe. Or anywhere on his face? He was leaning towards him either way and Sanji’s stomach twists into knots again, but it’s not nausea. Or maybe not just that. or maybe it’s just something else too. How is he supposed to know, honestly?!

What he des know is he never even considers man in terms of looks or attractiveness. He knew how to make himself look good, but that was for women’s eyes. Not his own. Men weren’t there to be admired – they were to watch out for so you don’t get hurt more.

It’s completely alien to try and apply the way he thinks about women to Zoro, there is nothing smooth or round or delightful about him, so Sanji – doesn’t. As they wait to Usopp to finish whatever he’s doing, he does make an effort to just look at Zoro and try not to think about much at all.

Zoro’s not unpleasant to look at. His sharp jawline matches well with his hairline and with his hair short, it leaves his face nicely open. Despite the constant frown, the double eyelid and bright eyes make for someone Sanji can see himself calling – well, not pretty. Zoro would stab him if he tried that, wouldn’t he?

Handsome, that fits better. Beautiful like heroes in the stories and warriors in the paintings.

Sanji bites his lip, realizing nausea didn’t hit when Zoro’s face came close, but only as he started thinking about actual kiss. That seems promising at least?

He can fix it. the mess they got into, because he made Zoro think he didn’t want him and he had to lie. Sanji can fix everything. He just needs a little time.

“Couldn’t pick the worst time.” Usopp complain, coming out with hands stained with something brightly purple and shiny. “What did you want?”

“Gotta fix the door for the bunk room – handle broke.” Zoro shrugs.

“Fix the- what did I tell you about hurting Sunny!” Usopp puts hands on his hips and Franky shakes his head behind him, putting on air of a disappointed uncle. Sanji turns his head into Zoro’s arm to hide his grin, but he can probably still feel it pressed to his skin. “Stop fighting inside or I’m making Nami make you pay for all the repairs! Enough is enough” he continues even as he walks around the room, picking up tools and few odds and ends.

“See, Usopp – knew keeping the scrap would all pay off, yeah!” Franky laugh, throwing his arm up to pose and Usopp pats the star the form as he walks past.

“Yeah, how just a handle?” He eyes them suspiciously as Franky starts sorting trough box of random pieces of wood.  picking one  started to shape with the a

“Didn’t break it while fighting.” Zoro smirks.

Sanji feels blush on his cheeks and is very glad he hid his face already. Damn his mind for being sensitive to anything, it’s like Zoro would joke about-

“What were doing this time!” Usopp eyes them suspicious, especially Zoro’s bruises and messy bandages. Thankfully Sanji’s hand is hidden in his lap and out of view.

“I didn’t break it either!” Zoro huffs. “Sanji did.”

Sanji will strangle him with his hand hands, as soon as he’s done taking out splinter. Usopp looks between them, crossing his arms, but before he can say anything Franky throws him a new handle and he has to scramble to catch it.

“Please mind the ship, bros.” Franky wags a finger at them. “How’d you even break Adam wood? Isn’t Zoro still supposed to be on bed-rest?” he tilts his head.

Sanji has a very bad feeling the moment Zoro opens his mouth, but he wouldn’t dare-

“He walked on me changing and got so horny watching he smashed the handle in his ha-agh!” Zoro yelp when Sanji pinches at his side.

To hell with splinters, one hand’s more than enough to strangle the bastard!

Zoro doesn’t quite drop him, but he very hastily puts him on his own feet and Sanji glares at him the whole way trough. Usopp flees without a word and Franky closes the door to the workshop.

“What is wrong with you?!” Sanji hisses out and tries to stomp on Zoro’s foot, but bastard has the audacity to snatch it away. “Now they - they’ll think we-!”

“Now they’ll think we did something weird, but never buy you got horny ogling me. So they won’t keep prying.” Zoro shrugs, but he keeps watching Sanji from under half lidded eyes and in the narrower corridor, they’re almost chest to chest. Sanji could count his lashes and damn, they’re as unfairly long and gorgeous as he remembers and the bright lamps compensating for lack of windows make Zoro’s eyes shine bright

“Cognac.”

“What?” Zoro tilts his head and Sanji hates how the shadows moves over his cheekbones, making his jawline stand out more and those damn cognac brown eyes look even more beautiful.

“Nothing!” Sanji curses his loose tongue and tries desperately to change the topic. “Just remembered something, doesn’t matter.” He backs a step and leans as much against the wall as he can, trying to put distance between them. Speaking of remembering though, he knows when he notices his stupidly gorgeous eyes. “You did this - with me!” he points an accusatory finger. “When Nami was sick, to get – get Vivi alone - with her.” He trails off at the end, feeling like complete moron.

How much more did he miss? How could he be this useless and blind to what was under his nose?

Better. He will fix himself and to better from now on.

“Well, doesn’t matter – what did you want in a kitchen?” he talks right over Zoro opening his mouth and speedwalks to the stairs. “Any snacks better need one hand only, I’m not bothering Chopper with something like this, it just needs some time.”

“Some time to what, get infected?” Zoro drawls behind him, following a step behind.

Sanji ignores him, because that’s how it works. You get splinter, you let it get all hot and infected, you drain the nasty stuff and suddenly there is space to dig for the splinter. How else is he supposed to do it, cut it open?

He still walks into the kitchen and lets Zoro sit him down and take out – salt and honey? Strange mix for food, but with his lack of sweet tooth it doesn’t surprise him.

“So what am I cooking, hmm? A hint would be nice so I know what to bring from the pantry.” he asks, leaning his head on his free hand as the other was starting to throb unpleasantly.

Zoro ignores him in favour of bringing a bowl of water and sits next to him. Sanji decided it’s as good time as any to test something and grabs Zoro’s hand as he reached for something.

“Come on, what do you fancy?” he asks and look right at Zoro’s face, trying to look and delight the same he would with a women and-

No, it definitely doesn’t work the same way and the nausea hits him immediately, but when he stops thinking and just – keeps looking, it passes almost immediately. Sanji counts it as some sort of definite progress and decides to experiment more later.

Zoro measures him with a very unimpressed look.

“Why don’t I say you naked so we can see if you make it to the sink to puke?” he says, voice cold. “Or are you done doing whatever this was, so I can deal with your hand?”

Sanji nods, quite proud of not letting it show how quickly bile rose to his throat, because he just needs time, damn it. Zoro had all his life to get used to having a soulmate and months and months to accept that match being Sanji! He hasn’t even had an hour!

“I’m kinda waiting for you to freak out, still.” Zoro admits, glancing at him as he starts mixing salt into water. “It’s your hand, shouldn’t you be more – more?”

Sanji shrugs and chews on his lip before wrapping his free arm around himself.

“You lied to me – for so long. So long!” He learns more comfortable against the warm bend of the seat and sighs. “I’m maybe, just a little, seeing if you actually care enough to be bothered.”

He risks looking at Zoro and bastard has the gall to be grinning.

“You’re failing horribly, I’ll have you know.” He scoffs and turns away.

“Sure I am.” Zoro’s grin just got wider, Sanji just knew it from the smug tone of his voice. Damn the unfairly nice to look at bastard.

Sanji stays silent, letting Zoro do some weird salt soak for his hand, which admittedly make the splinters come out much easier than he expected. Few still need a little digging, but nothing Sanji can’t easily grit his teeth trough. Nothing like he normally has to endure.

“How taught you that trick?”

Zoro freezes for a moment, before he carries on with washing the bowl in the sink.

“Kuina.” He starts softly, in a tone Sanji never heard before. It makes him get up and stand next to Zoro, leaning against the cabinet. If he does it in a way their thighs stay pressed together, well, sue him. “Didn’t learn you’re supposed to wrap your hands with the wooden sword till I was almost done with them, so I just never bothered. I was too impatient to get them out and she couldn’t stand me bleeding on their swords – so she showed me how to get them out. Salt bath, then honey to keep it clean.”

“You will not spoil my honey, you brute!” Sanji rolls his eyes and hesitates. He shifts in place a few times, before leaning in closer and then he leans his head on Zoro’s arm. “I’m fine already, look.” He puts the hand up to show off the closing marks from the splinters.

If he’s gonna call Zoro out for his lie, he might as well try to make somewhat less of a frantic effort to hide any and all things that might reveal his own lies. It’s only fair, at least for his soulmate, isn’t it?

“I wouldn’t puke.” He says suddenly, because he looses the balls to do it. “I would not!”

“I don’t mind it.” Zoro says, tone careful, like Marine talking down a drunk pirate rampaging. Sanji wishes he could take offence, but he can’t really, which only annoys him more. “I haven’t said anything, because I’m fine with you. Those marks don’t have to be romantic.”

“No!” Sanji stomps his foot, flushing at how childishly he behaves, but he can’t stop it. “I just need – time, damn it. You had so long! I just learn about – about everything! Just, give me time, I’m making progress already – I’m gonna be fine soon so-”

“Progress?” Zoro sneers and and leans closer, one hand holding Sanji’s hips while the other grabs the cabinet by his head. He’s suddenly close and all around him and Sanji takes a shuddering breathe, shifting on his feet. He can count his eyelashes again and see softer baby hair curling on the edges of his temples. “I’m not gonna be your – gay measuring stick, or whatever you imagine, love-cook.”

Sanji gapes at him for a moment, because how dares he?!

“Fuck you.” Sanji stomps on his foot and digs his heel in, clutching at Zoro’s biceps so he can’t just move away. “How dare you – you knew this whole time!” he reminds him and presses closer, sliding knee between Zoro’s tights and letting their body get even closer, to hell with knots tying themselves into rope bridges in his stomach. “You always knew – had all the time to yourself to think everything though. You’re gonna give me just as much!”

Zoro nods, looking slightly stunned with eyes open wide and Sanji can’t look away and his head is blissfully empty of any thought beside how pretty he looks right under the lamps, even if he would hate to hear it. He doesn’t think, only watches Zoro licks his lips, feel his biceps tense under his fingers and his thighs squeeze his own.

Sanji doesn’t think, which is the only reason why he leans down even further to press their lips together, eyes squeezed shut. It’s a pathetic kiss and Sanji blames his brain turning to mush for the way he shoves hard enough to make them knock their teeth together and split his own lip, or the way he just clings to Zoro and stays still like a doll.

Zoro, mercifully, doesn’t burst out laughing at him. He moves his head to better angle to their not risking a broken nose and then he opens his mouth to lick off Sanji’s blood from his own lips.

“No swallowing.” Samji grabs his jaw and reminds him. Zoro stares at his, pupil wide and Sanji would’ve sworn he whined.

That gets altogether too much and Sanji stumbled a few steps back, trying to calm his breath.

“S-so – here. Here you have it!” He waves his hand vaguely. “No vomiting or anything, just – gotta get use to actually being with someone. To you being someone I’m – am with. Is with me.” He shuts up before he says something even more embarrassing.

Zoro keeps just looking at him and Sanji wonders if he made some mistake, too much or not enough or was just that bad at it. Not like he would know!

He bites his lips and raises an eyebrow, noticing Zoro’s eyes shift immediately.

“Right – spit the blood out.” He tries to change to topic and rolls his ees at Zoro’s petulant look. At least that’s like always. “Yes, you can so defeat that few drops of blood, but I’m not explaining to Chopper why you’re vomiting again.”

He doesn’t add that especially today, after how he treated him, he feels more frantic about Zoro’s health than normal.

His soulmate. Fuck, Zoro is his soulmate and almost died and he just beat him up because he could not be normal about finding out about his match. This will be his nightmare for the next decade…

Zoro rolls his eyes, but turns his head and exaggeratedly spits out to the sink.

“Happy?” he scoffs.

“Happiest.” Sanji smirks and leans in. “Good boy.” He leans in and pats Zoro’s head, letting his fingers slide over his hair.

Spar should bring them back to normal, right? They always do, that’s why they keep having them. They’ll fight and make up and everything will be fine and nothing will be so painfully weird anymore.

This time Zoro does whine, tilting his head back to press against Sanji’s hand. Moment later his eyes widen, face flushing the loveliest share of red.

“Oh, this I’m noting for later.” He laughs, only slightly hysterical, because what in the worlds are they doing?

“Not a word.” Zoro pulls him closer, suddenly, wrapping arms around him and Sanji lets him. He hugs him back, experimentally stroking a hand down the back of Zoro’s head and the line of his neck, feeling him shiver against him.

Definitely noting that for later, when Sanji is done with all his crises.

“You can have time.” Zoro talks, right into Sanji’s shoulder and probably very ruined shirt. “All time you need – don’t just– stay. Don’t leave.”

Sanji sighs and hugs him tighter.

“You have two years of lying to pay me back for, mosshead. I’m not going anywhere until we’re even.” He puts on a much braver tone than he truly feels, but that’s how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it?

You put on the face to make your soulmate feel better, feel loved, feel safe. That’s how it works, it’s what Zoro has been doing as part of the crew since they met. It’s Sanji who has to catch up now.

“I-If we - we’re doing, this – we’re trying the match…”

“We are.” Zoro’s words sound so final they might as well be a sentence and Sanji has to bite his tongue not to give into hysterical laughter, cause isn’t it, just a little?

He needs a bottle of wine and his bunk to have a crisis so much.

“They – it’s us. I don’t – share, or try out or whatever else.”

Zoro jolts in his arms and takes a step back, so fast Sanji stumbles after him before he manages to loosed his hold on him.

“Me neither.” He says, face bright red again. He won’t look at Sanji and his hands are clenched at his sides. “You can just say when what I suck at, I’ll get better – don’t need-”

“Right – backtracking right now.” Sanji grabs Zoro’s jaw to try an make him look at him, but he might as well be trying to move a statue. “Suck at what?” he asks, letting his thumb rub over Zoro’s cheek.

For how little he cares for his hygiene, it’s almost funny how clean shaven he always is. He might have to ask him about it someday.

Zoro shrugs stiffly.

“If my kissing sucks just say so – don’t make up some a speech.”

Sanji blinks, surprised.

“How would I now? Never did before.” He shrugs, even as his face burns as he admits it, but who deserves to know if not his soulmate?

Zoro head tilts back again and he’s looking right at Sanji, looking – angry, for some reason?

“Don’t lie about that!”

“Not lying,” Sanji rolls his eyes and, with hands busy holding Zoro jaw and petting his hair, he leans down to bite at his nose. It has desired effect of being so stupid it distracts him from whatever he was thinking. “You might’ve noticed I’m helpless romantic. Kept for marriage all that pathetic nonsense.” He can’t help but sneer, remembering all to well all the insults and how many Zoro repeated one time or another.

At least Zoro has audacity to look ashamed.

“I – neither. Didn’t trust before this crew and didn’t care after – well, you.” Zoro says, words coming out forced and Sanji appreciated them all the more, even if they sound completely nonsensical, because haven’t he heard-?

“But – you and Robin?”

“We what?”

“I heard you!” Sanji leans in, snaping his teeth in a threat only to rub their noses together when he’s close enough. Touching is definitely no different than with anyone else and being able to do more of that with Zoro is looking like amazing. “After – after she joined, didn’t you start – I assumed she just looked for protection, still thinking we’re just new Baroque Works…”

Zoro looks at him with ridiculous expression before he bursts out laughing.

“She was trying, sure – to hook us up!” he barks out and it’s Sanji’s turn to turn bright red.

“Why would she?!”

“She’s a nasty little piece of work.” Zoro starts and Sanji stomps on his foot with a glare. “Great she’s on our side, but she put eyes and ears on us for hours before we even knew she was on board.” Zoro shrugs, unrepentant as always. He even has the gal to jerk his foot up to trip Sanji over and have an excuse to hug him again. “She saw my mark and tried to make me to busy with you to keep eye on her.”

Sanji opens his mouth to say something, but after a moment wisely decides to just keep quiet. This is not something to discuss before he’s had wine, a cry, a crisis, or preferably all three more than once.

He sighs and finally backs away from Zoro.

“So, we’re – a match, and trying it. Seriously.” He says, last time, just to make sure – to hear Zoro say it.

“Want a love confession, love-cook?” Zoro smirks and Sanji hates how much he starts to love the sight of it.

He chases him out of the kitchen before he does something embarassing, like beg for that confesssion, and then finds himself some good wine to cry over. If he also takes out a fancier bottle of whisky and later leaves it in Zoro’s bunk, well, that’s not nobody’s business, but his own.

Exactly one day later, among complete chaos of Marines invading Sabaody, Sanji watched Kuma attack Zoro who vanished into thin air and his heart disappeared right with him. After desperate fight that feels like fish struggling aganst a net closing right above it, Kuma strikes him as well just a little later.

For the first time in his life, being pathetic enough to lose despite giving it his all felt like a blessing.

Maybe, fi he is gone, the pain will be gone as well.