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In the mornings now, Keith had routine.
Standing in front of his mirror, he would count the new spots of purple dotting against his skin, cover them with his gloves or his jacket or his pants with a shaky breath.
Then he would start his day.
Some days were easier, when Keith’s stress was low and the work was light. Those days he saw the violet turn to a lavender, sometimes disappearing altogether. He would always swear that he’d maintain it this time, until the purple was completely gone and he recognized himself in the mirror.
But when were the fighters for the universe, the paladins of Voltron, really that stress free?
An endless battle against invading forces, impossible odds. They had better days, but no one could honestly say that they were exactly relaxed. They stared death in the face daily, and gradually, he saw the signs spread from his arm to his legs, a rash of bright violet on his stomach, words said to him in the dark starlight ringing in his ears.
Of course Shiro knew what was happening.
Keith didn’t want to care, but he did. Shiro knew everything about him, secrets couldn’t be kept.
Not from the sun, and absolutely not from the moon.
“We’ll have to let them rest in the medical pods and wait.” Allura said with finality, exhaustion edging in her voice.
The remaining members of their castleship stood around, watching Hunk and Pidge in the pods uneasily with downcast eyes. They had to count themselves lucky, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, and by now -they insisted to themselves - they should be used to this.
Allura tried to smile, but it didn’t show in her eyes. “Give them a day or so, and they’ll be back and at it again.”
They tried to smile in turn, avoiding what they all knew and thought. There were only so many of them, and the Galran forces could be as good as expendable puppets. Losing one for them meant losing it all, but losing a single drop in a rainstorm was nothing to Zarkon.
“Can I say something?” Lance asked, breaking the silence.
Keith gritted his teeth, anticipating what the blue paladin was just about to say.
“Lance…” Shiro and Allura both responded, knowing it wasn’t the right time.
Lance shook his head, eyebrows furrowed. “No I’m done with keeping quiet. We all know that Keith’s recklessness is what got Hunk and Pidge hurt-”
“Lance.” This time Shiro barked, a command to silence him, but Lance pushed on.
“No seriously, I’m sick of this. This isn’t just a one time thing, Keith’s had a fucking deathwish for the past few weeks and it’s impacting the team.” His hands were balled into fists, one slamming into the wall to make a point. “You can’t just fucking deny that anymore!”
They stood in the echo of Lance’s outburst, one that they all knew was justified. Something about how Keith failed to respond, to defend himself to his accusations, made Lance snap.
Striding forward, he shoved Keith with his hands and watched as the red paladin fell back, black hair hiding his eyes. “Aren’t you even going to say anything?” His voice high, incredulous.
Keith wrapped his arms around themselves, a motion as if to protect himself, gripping his armor until his knuckles turned white. Without a word, he stalked out out of the medical bay and out of sight, his heavy footsteps a warning to not follow him.
Lance’s shoulders slumped at the sight of the retreating figure. Brows knitted together in an effort not to cry. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…”
“You went too far, Lance.” Allura stated with a sigh, turning her head to look at the two incapacitated paladins.
“I just- he’s not himself anymore. I thought he’d fight back like he used to.” He looked down into his own hands, “I pushed him because I thought he’d protect himself, say something, do something-”
Lance felt a comforting pat on his shoulder and saw it was Shiro, a weary smile on his features. “I know it’s been hard for you Lance. I won’t say that what you did was right, but I get it.”
The blue paladin continued to hang his head, unconvinced as Allura and Coran circled around him, murmuring reassuring words. Shiro took the moment to also make his way to leave the room, giving the rest of them a wave.
“Don’t worry, I’m going to go talk to him.”
He heard the familiar hiss of pneumatics as the door to his room opened and he further buried his head in his arms, tucking his legs close to his body.
“Keith? You in there?”
Of course, Shiro came to look for him. The desperate feeling in his lungs hardened into a boulder, only allowing him to seek out short gasps of air. “Go away Shiro. Now’s really not the time.”
“Look, I know that Lance said a lot of stuff back there.” He heard Shiro’s voice become louder as he searched in the dark, stars dimly passing by in the window. “It was out of hand, but he’s just worried about you and I-”
He stopped, finding the other young man huddled in the corner of his room, just below the window to hide in the shadows. “Keith?”
“Go away.” His voice was sharp like the blade of a dagger, all warning signs.
Shiro pushed ahead, reaching for the end table light, snapping it on.
In the warm glow, he could tell that Keith’s hair had taken on a dark violet hue, two Galran ears flat against his head, as if to hide their presence. Shiro took a step back, surprised but not completely unexpected.
“I told you to leave.” Keith stated, voice muffled as he clutched his knees tighter. He felt a metal hand take his arm gently pulling it away from his face and his head snapped upwards, golden glowing eyes staring back at black, uncomprehending.
“It’s okay. It’s fine, it’s still you.” Shiro said, though his tone was uncertain.
“You’re lying.” He hissed back, baring his teeth, canines sharpened into points. “Even I don’t know myself anymore.”
The larger young man bit his lip, unsure as to what to say. “Is this the first time it’s gotten to this… point?”
“No. Sometimes I wake up from nightmares like this. It takes a few hours for it to pass.” Keith relinquished his legs from his grip, arms hanging at his sides in defeat.
“Are you doing okay?”
“What does it fucking look like?” He snapped before giving out a hollow laugh, yellow eyes lowered into angry slits. “I don’t want to do this shit right now. I don’t want to talk to you.”
Shiro reached for a purple hand and found his arm swatted aside. “Keith. If this is because of stress, maybe you just need to talk about it-”
“I don’t want to talk to you.” He repeated, louder this time.
There was a tense silence, Keith’s vision focused on Shiro’s figure, kneeling in front of him, unmoving. Maybe he had been too harsh, he thought to himself, of course Shiro was just trying to help.
Suddenly, Keith felt a hand tilt his head upwards at his chin, a flash of dangerous gold and smirk on Shiro’s features. “Then, what about me?”
“Why the fuck did you decide to come out now?” Keith snarled, slapping the hand away as he pulled himself tighter into his corner. “You actually thought you of all fucking people would help this?”
Shiro slowly cocked his head to one side. “You’ve always managed to be more honest with me.”
“Sure. Fine, it fucking sucks and I’m having an identity crisis. Are you happy now? Will you go away?” He responded, voice bitter and laced with sarcasm.
“Mmm… That’s a good start.” Shiro hummed appraisingly. “Feel free to really let me have it.”
Keith made a face, canine poking into his bottom lip. “You’re disgusting. I hate talking to you.”
Another grin split on Shiro’s features. “You could never be as raw with anyone else as you could be with me. Not even with your good, little Shiro.”
“Why do you think that’s the case?” He asked, his tone much more subdued, pained at the realization that Shiro was right.
“Aren’t we all scared just scared of rejection?” Shiro shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. “You’re scared, and Shiro is as well. We hold each other too tightly and are scared of letting go.”
He leaned closer, GalraTech arm petting Keith’s ears with absent-minded curiosity, enjoying the way the other young man shivered under his touch. “Of course, you’ve never rejected me.”
“How I am,” Shiro’s free hand ran slowly down his torso, noticing the way that Keith’s eyes traced his arm’s path. “Is just a manifestation of Shiro’s stress too. The other him, one that he doesn’t want to admit exists.”
“What are you… trying to say?” Keith responded, getting more and more distracted, feeling himself once again pulled into Shiro’s trap.
His face was now close enough to feel his breath, voice low and tantalizing. “Maybe I’m not white, maybe I’m not black. Maybe I’m just grey.”
Shiro closed the distance between the two of them in a kiss softer than Keith expected, but still left him breathless. “What- why are you? When I’m like this?”
Shiro didn’t answer, deciding to kiss him again, harder this time, to prove his point. “I don’t give a fuck what you look like. Like I’ve said, you’re still you.”
“Shiro? Are you back?” Dazed, Keith wound his fingers into Shiro’s white hair, a searching look. “Who are you?”
He replied with a smile, teasing. “I can be whoever you want, kitten. Just ask.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?” Keith mumbled, a surprised gasp as a mouth was applied to his neck.
“Aww…” Shiro leaned back, watching as the other boy’s face went slack when he lightly scratched the base of his right ear. “You still don’t get it? Shiro or not, we both love you.”
Keith’s face flushed into a dark purple, not expecting the confession.
Shiro chuckled darkly, relishing in his speechlessness. “Now, what do you want today? Shiro or me?”
He licked his lips before parting them, wanting to speak but still caught in the golden gaze. “I want… you.”
“Are you sure? I can’t promise I can be nice anymore.” Shiro was panting lightly now from the effort of holding back, his body hovering closely over Keith’s. “In fact, I think I’m going to be mean. Very mean.”
“What if I want you to be mean?”
Without warning, Shiro surged forward, pupils blown wide as he dragged Keith upwards and pushed him against the window. “You shouldn’t have said that. Now I’m not going to stop until you break.”
Their mouths collided and all Keith could do was desperately cling to Shiro, arms tightly wrapped around the other man’s neck as he felt the full weight of his body press him into the glass. Shiro’s tongue prodded at Keith’s lips, willing them to open and Keith complied, feeling his legs shake as he moaned, the tongue tracing his newly sharpened fangs, toying with danger.
Shiro pulled back, watching as Keith’s eyelashes fluttered in confusion, lips newly swollen and wet from the onslaught. With a groan, Shiro pulled the red jacket off, and then the black shirt, until Keith’s violet torso was bare and slightly shivering from the cold.
“Fuck, It’s everywhere, isn’t it?” He breathed, one hand wrapped around Keith’s waist and the other hand tracing his chest. Shiro stopped to lightly rub a nipple, enjoying the way Keith twisted in his grip, crying out under his touch.
“No shit…” Keith managed cheekily. It took his entire being to even speak the words, an unfamiliar sensation was causing the room to spin, paired with a more familiar sensation of the tightening in his pants.
Shiro took the opportunity to unzip his shirt, revealing his muscled arms and sculpted abs to the white glow of starlight. Keith fought the incredible urge to lean forward and lick the expanse of his chest as he watched, noticing the cocky smirk playing on Shiro’s lips. “Like what you see?”
“As if I don’t on any other day?” He replied before bringing his hips into Shiro’s, ears pointed sharply to catch the groan that fell from the other man’s lips.
Keith’s comment was rewarded by an arm tightly gripping him around his waist, spinning him the other way until the two of them fell onto the bed, Shiro on top of him, hands on either side of his head. The dizzying sensation had only increased, and now Keith could almost feel himself drowning in the feeling.
“You’ve got a mouth on you today.” Shiro whispered, deep and rumbling with desire. “Maybe I should make good on my promise from last time, put that mouth to use.”
“Shiro… h-haah…” He could barely keep his eyes opened as he finally realized what he was exactly feeling. “Shiro… you smell really good right now…”
The other young man went still, head tilted in curiosity. “Do think that maybe… it’s your Galran nose?”
“I don’t know.” Keith inhaled, feeling Shiro’s scent fill his lungs. “I don’t care, I just want you to be closer, even closer to me…”
Keith felt a hand gently caress his cheek, slowly reaching upwards until he found that spot at the base of his left ear, fingernails rendering him completely useless as a cascade of moans came from his mouth.
“Didn’t expect to see another side of you Keith…” He heard Shiro’s voice close to his other ear, phrases breaking in between heavy breaths. “I fucking love it, watching you melt in my hands like this.”
Shiro wrapped his arm around Keith once again, bringing their bodies together until he could feel Keith’s clothed member straining against his own, grinding into him in measured strokes.
“Good…” Keith mumbled, delirious from the assault of sensations, words punctuated with gasps each time Shiro thrust his cock against his. “Smell so good… Shiro… so good...”
“You can smell it, can’t you? Just how much I want you.” Shiro grunted, hand now pressing so hard into Keith’s hip it would surely bruise. Suddenly he caught Keith’s ear in his mouth, giving it a long lick from the base to the tip, drawing out another guttural moan.
“God, you’re fucking perfect, kitten.” Shiro said as he pulled away, dark eyes lowered in a haze of lust. “I can’t take it, I have to see all of you.”
Keith felt Shiro’s hand hurriedly unzip his pants, pulling them down until his member sprang free. Shiro’s scent that had been enveloping him in a comfortable blur hit him with a force indescribable, and a pulse of precum slid down his cock. “Shiro… wha-what’s-?”
“You’re fucking amazing.” Keith heard the other man breathe. “Purple everywhere. Even here.”
Shiro’s fingers wound around Keith’s member, already slick with desire. The touch shocked him like electricity and he arched off the bed, almost weeping from the unexpected feeling. Shiro continued to stroke him slowly and evenly, stopping occasionally to press a thumb into the head for just a moment, just enough for Keith to cry out. The power of Shiro’s scent only increased, pounding in Keith’s head.
Already, he could feel that he was close, pleasure coiling low in his abdomen, spiking as Shiro increased the speed of his movements. “A-aaah! Shiro, if you’re- aaah, if you keep doing that now I’m gonna-”
Roughly, Shiro grabbed Keith’s chin, forcing him to look upwards until their eyes met, yellow against black. “Look at me.” He demanded. “Look at me while you cum.”
And so Keith came uncontrollably, cum spurting across the violet expanse of his stomach and into Shiro’s hands, still stroking him off as he shook. Keith whined, the feeling of Shiro’s fingers around his cock now too much, but Shiro continued until he pulled the last drops of semen out of his spent member, a self-satisfied grin on his face.
Keith took a moment to breathe, still painfully hard as he drowned in the waves of Shiro’s scent. He heard Shiro shift on the bed, sheets rustling as Keith propped himself up on a shaky elbow. The other young man had lowered himself close enough for their chests to touch, methodically licking Keith’s cum off each individual finger, eyes locked on each other until Shiro licked his lips.
“Could you do me a favor?” Shiro asked, seemingly nonchalantly as he reached downwards to rub a hand on his still clothed member, threatening to break free from its confines.
“What… what do you mean?” Keith mumbled, still watching as Shiro continued to stroke himself through his pants.
Shiro got on his knees, unzipping his pants, revealing his hardened cock, hanging heavily in his hand. “I want you to suck me off. Put that pretty mouth to good use.”
Keith flushed at the direct command, strangely embarrassed. In a way, it felt like everything they were doing was for the first time, his body still unfamiliar to even himself. Gingerly, he wrapped his hand around the thick length, hearing Shiro hum with approval. A wave of Shiro’s scent washed over him, heady dark, drawing him in once again. Keith brought the member to his mouth, tongue extending to lap at the head wetly.
“Fuck…” Shiro groaned, “That’s it, keep doing just that.”
He nodded numbly, fingers lightly tracing up and do Shiro’s cock as the already engorged length managed to harden further under his touch. When Keith was this close Shiro, his smell was powerful enough for Keith to lose himself, an overwhelming need to please Shiro the only thought present in his mind.
Keith felt Shiro tangle hands into his hair, thumb lightly scratching behind an ear in such a way that made his cock twitch. He moaned, Shiro now in his mouth, and the vibrations traveled down the length, Shiro’s hand pulling tightly at Keith’s hair in response. Slowly he began to bob his head up and down, slackening his jaw to take in as much as possible.
“God… I wish you could see yourself, the way you look while you choke yourself on my cock.” Shiro panted, “I can't decide if I just want to blow my load all over that pretty face of yours.”
Keith looked upwards, once again meeting Shiro’s gaze as he looked down, a sheen of sweat lightly covering his torso. In the low light of his room he could tell that Shiro was absolutely wrecked, eyebrows knitted together, the muscles of his arms bunched as they repeatedly thread through Keith’s hair.
It was at that moment that Keith decided to open his throat, feeling Shiro push past through the tight ring of muscles to rest deep in his throat.
Shiro went still before suddenly gripping his head, pulling Keith back completely off his cock before pushing himself back into his mouth with a snap of his hips.
“You really shouldn’t have tested me like that.” Shiro said, rough with pleasure as Keith cried out, unable to move as Shiro thrusted into his throat over and over. “Now I’m going to fuck that teasing mouth of yours until I’ve had my fill.”
It was all Keith could do to stay afloat, breathing hard through his nose as Shiro pounded into his mouth, his own cock now standing noticeably at attention.
“Kitten, you can’t believe how long I’ve wanted to do this.” He heard Shiro say, voice gravelly and low. “Just you wait, I’m going to fuck you until every inch of you is mine.”
With a jerk of his arms, Shiro pushed Keith back, releasing Shiro’s member with an obscenely wet noise. Before Keith could even ask, saliva running down his chin, he saw Shiro reach for the lube in his nightstand. “Hold your legs open for me.” He demanded, and still dazed, Keith complied, spreading his legs with both of his hands.
“Good kitten.” Shiro purred, slathering the lube thickly onto his fingers. “You always do what I want perfectly.”
A finger gently probed his entrance and Keith gasped, watching as the digit slipped wetly inside of him. Shiro bit his lip, equally as entranced as he felt the ring of muscles clench tightly around him. “Can you see the way you’re sucking in my finger? It’s like wants more.”
Keith’s fingers dug into his thighs, hips already shaking, face flushed with embarrassment as just how lewdly he was presenting himself before Shiro. Still, the single finger wasn’t nearly enough, his head swimming with lust. “More… nghh… Shiro- I need more…”
“Do you?” Shiro responded, taunting. “How much more? Tell me how much you want it.”
“Anything…!” He whined, widening his legs, cock weeping more precum onto his stomach as he attempted to thrust his hips to meet Shiro’s hand. “I don’t care, ha-aaah! Just fill me up…”
A second finger slid into his entrance, toothy grin on Shiro’s face as Keith moaned long and low. “Good answer. It deserves a reward.”
He felt satisfied for only a moment for the need grew once again, stronger than before. “Shiro… it’s not enough… it’s not-”
“Then what do you want?” Shiro answered as he thrusted his fingers in and out, “You did say anything…”
It was so incredibly unfair to Keith, the way that Shiro was being, a widening smirk as he knew that Keith would have to beg for what he wanted, what he needed. Even so, the resentment was just a dull ache at the back of his mind, the sensations and Shiro’s scent all too much.
“I… I want your cock, please…” Keith said, breaking, “Fuck me Shiro, I need it…”
With a satisfied purr Shiro pulled his fingers out, hands grabbing Keith at the waist to pull him upwards, reversing their positions with Keith on top, Shiro laying beneath him. His GalraTech hand gripped at his member while the other centered Keith over it, just barely touching his entrance. “If you want it so badly, then get it yourself, kitten.”
There was no room in his head for hesitation, and Keith sank down, fully sheathing Shiro inside of him as moaned, watching Shiro’s head lull back. Shakily, he began to move himself upwards before thrusting back down, setting the pace for himself as the other young man watched.
“So… full.. Haaah…” Keith panted, hands pressed against Shiro’s solid abdomen as he moved above him, noticing the way Shiro gasped with every movement.
“I didn’t realize you would be this eager…” Shiro hummed, enjoying the view. “You’ve practically impaled yourself on me.”
“Mmmhmm…” Was all he could manage to say as he slid upwards, holding the position. “But It’s not… nngh, it’s not enough… you too…”
Once again, Shiro feigned ignorance, head tilting to one side. “Me too? Me too what, kitten? You need to be clearer about what you want.”
Keith slammed back down onto Shiro, the two of them moaning simultaneously from the feeling as Keith’s fingers scrabbled against his chest, drawing long red marks on the white skin. “Fuck me Shiro… haaah- fuck me until I break.”
“That’s the plan.” Shiro answered before grabbing onto Keith’s waist once again before thrusting upwards into him. “I’m so glad you agree.”
In one swift movement Shiro flipped Keith onto his back before pulling out with a groan, the separation almost intolerable for the both of them. He took Keith by the hand before he could even protest, standing him up against the window.
“Turn around.” Shiro commanded, “and press your hands against the window.”
Keith did as he told, head twisted to look at Shiro in confusion, “Why-”
With a snap of his hips Shiro sank back into Keith before setting a new and relentless pace, dazing him. “Got this idea earlier, couldn’t pass it up.”
Shiro’s hands clenched around Keith’s hips as he pounded into him, Keith crying out as his hands gave away and his face pressed into the glass.
“Can you feel how hard I am for you?” Shiro bent over Keith, whispering into the ears that were pressed against his head in pleasure. “You fucking wreck me kitten, mewling like you do underneath me.”
“Ngh…! Shiro-!” He moaned, feeling the full force of every thrust, distantly worried that the window would threaten to break.
“Shit-!” Shiro exclaimed, pulling back out just long enough to twist Keith back over, grabbing his legs to push his back up against the window. “Had to look at you…” He gasped, “Had to look at you as you fell apart for me.”
Keith’s legs wound around Shiro’s hips as he slammed back down in time with Shiro, nails digging into his shoulders. He could feel it again, this time more powerful than before, and he knew he was close. “I’m-I’m gonna cum, haah! I’m-”
Without warning, he felt Shiro bite down at the juncture of his neck, hard enough to break skin. The pain was such an unexpected shock that Keith climaxed forcefully, crying out as he felt his semen coat both of their chests.
Shiro came only moments later with a low groan, jerky thrusts as his cum spilled down Keith’s thighs. He removed his teeth from Keith’s neck, lapping at it softly as if in apology.
Gently, he took Keith’s exhausted form into his arms and laid the young man back onto his bed, laying down with him, one arm around him protectively as the other hand played with Keith’s hair.
“Not gonna leave…?” Keith mumbled. He was surprised, after nights like this, usually Shiro would get up and exit his room, leaving Keith by himself.
Shiro shook his head, noticing that the hair he was running his hands through was already receding back into black, two human ears poking out from either side. “Never felt comfortable enough to stay before. Hope you don’t mind.”
“No, I don’t.” Keith slipped a hand around Shiro’s waist, a bid to draw him closer. Purple eyes peered into black uncertainly, a hesitancy that starkly contrasted their actions just minutes before. Shiro, in turn, looked worriedly at the mark on Keith’s neck. “Sorry Keith… I think that might scar.”
“‘Sokay.” He replied sleepily. “Felt kinda good…”
Shiro’s face flushed, but a mischievous look played across his features. “Well… maybe I’ll do it more often.”
Keith didn’t answer, instead lost in thought. “Shiro… are you sure you’re okay with me? With the way I am?”
A tired smile graced Shiro’s lips as his hand moved down to trace the line of Keith’s back. “Of course, as long as you’re okay with me.”
Keith nodded mutely, eyes now too tired to open. “We’ll take care of the mess later… just give me a second.”
Affectionately, Shiro brushed back the hair covering Keith’s brow, planting a kiss on his forehead in agreement.
Keith felt himself fall away, fall into a black hole, lost in space.
But this time he was with Shiro, and maybe that wasn’t too bad after all.