Chapter Text
“Sit.”
A small figure sat, timid. Afraid. Silent.
The room was dimly lit by a night light, in the corner by the family terminal. The dull shadow of the family vid terminal was ever present, the one thing that helped me keep my mind off of faltering school performance, family fights, and slowly but surely losing my sense of safety. A cheap but comfortable dark blue futon took up the space by the rightmost wall, the impromptu bed for the night while the sheets were changed.
“This is happening way too often. If you pee on this futon, I'm gonna beat you. We're going to discuss putting you back in pull ups or diapers until this passes. You're too old to be wetting the bed.”
I cowered. Not visibly. All Mom could see was a stone face. Unsure what to make of it. It's ok. I wasn't sure either. All I felt was trust shattering. Safety yanked away. Why? I didn't even have much to drink before bed yet I woke up soaked. It's not my fault. I can't control my body. I even went to the bathroom before bed.
Mom brought a blanket and a spare pillow from an adjoining room. “Go back to sleep, we'll get you up in a few hours for school”.
I lay there. Unable to sleep. Not sure if I would lose my bladder again and get even more condemnation. I eventually drifted off, dry, but afraid from them on.
I hated school. Friends were nice, but having to sit still and listen to things I wasn't interested in was like trying to do chores at home. There were brief flashes of interest that came by. Bits of Terran History, nuclear sciences, electricity, those things were fascinating in my mind. I also loved stories. Some of the old Terran stories weren't always interesting, and the old Terran tongue can be hard to follow, but every now and then, there were tales of grandeur and fantasy that captivated my attention.
The following day of the accident went about as expected. Mom got me up, I dressed, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, took the medication I hated taking. It upset my stomach. But it kinda helped with me not focusing in class. I hopped on the bus for school, arrived at the facility, and just mentally checked out for most of the lessons, occasionally checking back in when the above mentioned interests came up.
Then the day closed. Barely any food eaten due to medication side effects. Tired, grumpy, disinterested. I boarded the bus back to the house. Nothing new. Nothing changed. Except maybe the Terran propaganda topics every now and then. I wasn't interested in that. I just wanted to experience…more. More of the world. Beyond the life my parents lived.
Beyond the stars. In my dreams I suppose.