Chapter Text
The video is posted on Davey Tarp’s Twitter account, the second video ever posted after the start of his rookie season with the Boston Raiders. The camera is a little shaky. The video was clearly filmed during a night-out at a club, and you can hear music and chatter in the background.
“The point is that you ask the questions and your last or current hook-up is supposed to realize that they’re not the best you’ve had—”
“What? That’s fucking stupid—”
There are two or three other young men, one of them recognizable as Bobby Billcock, who was a rookie last year. Their voices are young, enthusiastic, the speech slightly slurred in a way that makes it clear they’re happily tipsy.
“Yeah, it’s stupid, if you’re not happy then say something—”
“Won’t it just make them feel like you’re being rude?”
“No, it’s smart, it’s like—a strategy, you know, to make them jealous, so they want you more—”
“Who did you do it with?”
“Lazo and Pally, and then I tried Marly, but he said—”
“It was so funny,” one of the others laughs, “he was all like if you need a strategy to make them want you, you might be doing it wrong, rook—”
“Whatever, Corey—oh, there’s Roz, I’ll ask him!” The camera turns, pointing to a booth where several people are sitting, including Boston Raiders’ captain, Ilya Rozanov.
Laughter, eager and enthusiastic, as the camera moves closer to Rozanov. He is wearing a dark shirt tight enough that it hugs his shoulders, collar open to the fourth button so that you can see his gold cross glint in the darkness, even on film.
“Roz, cap, you wanna do a challenge? It’s called the fuckboy challenge, you’re definitely perfect for it!”
“Ah, no,” comes the slow protest. “Not fuckboy. Marly told me, fuckboy means no respect. Leading people on. I don’t lead anyone. Am not liar. Tell them, Marly!”
The camera shifts to his right, where Cliff Marleau is sitting with a big grin on his face. “100%. Roz is not a fuckboy, fuckboys are losers. Roz is just a fucking stallion.”
“Yes, what he said. Stallion, I like that. Or maybe tiger, yes? Big and powerful,” Rozanov says with a lazy, seductive smile at the camera. “Not fuckboy.”
On the side of the screen, the tip of another rookie’s nose appears as he leans in eagerly. “Because they know what they’re getting into, is that right?”
“Yes,” Rozanov says, nodding. “Always say, this is one time thing. When it’s not, I say it’s casual. No one leading on.”
“Okay,” the one holding the camera says, “but that’s the name of the challenge, that’s what people are calling it, the fuckboy challenge.”
“Call it something else. Free will, yes? I have heard of it.”
“Fucking told him it was lame,” Marleau laughs next to him, and Rozanov grins.
“I didn’t choose it,” Davey protests, slightly whiney. “It’s the name of the challenge!”
“I don’t care, call it something else. Call it… I don’t want to think. Marly, you have brain sometimes. Figure it out.”
There’s laughter, and the camera shakes. “Can I still—”
“Yes, go.”
“Okay, Roz, the challenge is simple,” Davey says, slightly hurried like he knows he’s losing their focus. “Three questions.”
“Okay.”
“First, think of the best sex of your life.”
“Yes.”
Rozanov looks very relaxed, surrounded by his team, casually indulging rookies like he has all the time in the world.
“Now, uh, you grade it out of ten. Not the person, like—not how hot the person was, but how good the sex was, yeah?”
“Would be same answer anyway,” Rozanov says easily. “Twelve.”
“No, you don’t—” Davey says, voice dropping in dismay. “Shit, I didn’t explain right.”
Marleau chortles, and the camera pans to him. “Roz, you weren’t supposed to say the number.”
“What? I was not told!”
“And it has to be on a scale of one to ten,” adds another guy at the table. “Ten is the maximum.”
Rozanov shrugs, unbothered. “If it is best, it breaks scale, yes? Twelve.”
“No, you can’t say it,” Davey says, but another voice adds, low, “You can probably edit it out, right?”
“Really, twelve?” Marleau asks, now turned to Rozanov.
Rozanov nods, almost solemn. “Yes.”
“Okay, okay,” the rookie says, trying to get his attention back, “it doesn’t matter, let’s just imagine you didn’t say it. Now, um… think of the last time you had sex.”
“With other person, yes?” Rozanov says with a suggestive leer, and Marleau laughs like he’s never heard anything funnier.
“Yeah, Roz, we’re not trying to grade your fucking right hand.”
“Ah, not right hand. Only best for me, I use both,” Rozanov says with a—frankly—lecherous wink at the camera.
“Jesus Christ,” someone says off-screen.
“Now—I mean it’s less fun if we all already know what grade you gave your best, but… grade the last sex you had with another person, in your head, and now tell us the difference.”
Rozanov’s face twists in confusion. “Er… zero?”
“No, you have to subtract—you take the best sex, and you take out the number that is the last sex you had…”
“I know maths,” Rozanov says, looking offended. “I did it. Take twelve out of twelve, yes?”
“I mean, we’re not supposed to know the numbers, but you’re not—oh, you mean the last time you had sex was also the best?”
“Look at you, you figured it out,” Rozanov deadpans, tone flat The corner of his mouth is only slightly tilted up. “So smart.”
“Told you it wouldn’t work,” Marleau chuckles. “This guy’s the luckiest son of a bitch.”
“No, not luck, that is goal, Marly. I do not have bad sex because I always, how you say. I apply myself. Stronger, harder, better. Maybe you can do it when you’re Olympic athlete too, yes?” Rozanov adds with a toothy smile, and Marleau laughs, grabbing him by the neck.
“That’s not even the right words, you fucking dog—”
The video cuts off abruptly. The last image is of Rozanov’s face, caught in the hook of Marleau’s biceps, grinning smugly.
theeyeemoji @rozroster
Waking up for a new day on god’s green earth only to find Ilya fucking Rozanov doing the fuckboy challenge… nature is healing
Boston Cream @dunkinhockey
Are you… are you implying that fuckboys are a part of the natural order or something
theeyeemoji @rozroster
I like when people are assholes and funny about it, it’s not that deep
Tina @hockeyhoarder
Replying to @rozrosterGuys why are we giving that stupid challenge any attention, it’s so fucking misogynistic
theeyeemoji @rozroster
Replying to @hockeyhoarderlwk you’re right but I’m weak and Roz is right there
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
Replying to @hockeyhoarderthey literally said they didn’t like the name?? what do you want them to do, self-flagellate for existing in the same world as sexism?
ThomasEngineer @rootingforcups
Replying to @vinnieforvincentsI’d watch that
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
Replying to @rootingforcupsThomas you beautiful freak
Cloud @81rockme
Trying to conjure in my mind’s eye an image of the kind of girl that could rock Roz’s world and ngl I think I just fell in love
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
We thinking brunette yeah?
Cloud @81rockme
Yeah for sure brunette. Thunder thighs. Freaky as hell
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
fr fr, she has to be freaky as hell because twelve out of ten? That’s not missionary kind of sex. There are holes in that fucking wall for sure
Cloud @81rockme
The neighbors are suing for noise disturbance 😂
holyhole @phuckinthenet
[Image Description: Ilya Rozanov coming out of a club, dressed in a see-through red shirt with black roses and distressed jeans. Next to him is standing Nigerian model Taira Eze, wearing a white tube top and black leather pants. They have not noticed the cameras.]
Reminder that this was four days ago. Coincidence? I think not.
Kate @babeitsme
Fuck, they look so good togetherrrr
Jordan @giveitupbusteritstheraiders
I am looking respectfully
holyhole @phuckinthenet
I don’t think Ilya “Russia’s Greatest Sex Machine” Rozanov would care about you looking disrespectfully tbh
Jordan @giveitupbusteritstheraiders
Bold of you to assume I was talking about him
holyhole @phuckinthenet
😂
ThomasEngineer @rootingforcups
Replying to @phuckinthenetYeah those leather pants are working harder than god and satan together, goddamn
Adrienne @hockeyanalytics
lowkey love that he openly says he still jerks off. A lot of guys like to pretend it’s beneath them once they move to partnereed sex, and instead start to use women like fleshlights? Like yeah Roz fucks a lot but he still has a healthy realtionship with his sexualtiy and doesn’t need to prove anything
OverTheNetter @overthenetter
That’s what you took from this video? 😂
Maybe-Linette @putwingsonthatman
Replying to @hockeyanalyticswhat in the psychological analysis
theeyeemoji @rozroster
Replying to @putwingsonthatmanno no let em cook
Jordan @giveitupbusteritstheraiders
Replying to @hockeyanalyticsStill not done with the thesis huh
Adrienne @hockeyanalytics
Replying to @giveitupbusteritstheraidersDude only two days left I’m seeing colors right now
Jordan @giveitupbusteritstheraiders
Replying to @hockeyanalyticsdude go to bed
Adrienne @hockeyanalytics
Replying to @giveitupbusteritstheraidersFuck you
Adrienne @hockeyanalytics
Replying to @giveitupbusteritstheraidersasdkhjnkh just saw the typos. Logging off
Mariko @marikospins
So… nobody is gonna bring up the fact that Viktoriya Kanatova was just in town?
Jordan @giveitupbusteritstheraiders
Sis your brain is beautiful but you’re literally just writing fanfic at this point
Mariko @marikospins
There are pics of them together at the Olympics, asshole. We know they know each other.
Elsie @sparklesoncoldice
Ilya did say he had a lot of respect for figure skaters… 👀
Maybe-Linette @putwingsonthatman
It should be me but if it has to be anyone else… I’ll give it to her I guess. I mean, that fucking quad toe loop? She earned it.
Olive @classytoodloo
Saw the video. Hockey players being disgusting again, who is shocked
Gavin @kelcewinnn
Every day they reach new lows
Cloud @81rockme
Replying to @kelcewinnnI’m sorry, what? You’re literally a fucking NFL stan?
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
Replying to @kelcewinnnbrother you’re choking on that mediocre football dick, lean back
Laura @bunnybrain81
fml, the way he’s sitting 🥵
Thor @bostonslut
my mouth is open and I need something in it STAT
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
Idk if it’s the smirk, the necklace or that cheeky peek of juicy pecs, but I’m having hot flashes
Laura @bunnybrain81
Hot flashes fuck off je suis en CHALEUR mec je vais crever, I swear my eyes need it, j’arrive pas à m’arrêter de regarder cette foutue vidéo et à chaque fois j’ai l’impression que je vais pass out, il me regarde même pas mais I CAN FEEL HIS EYES I CAN ALMOST SMELL HIM I AM GOING INSANE algjéklhgfélhkgsf
Thor @bostonslut
Got so horny she started speaking in tongues
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
She discovered sexual attraction today and it was with Ilya Rozanov, RIP
Thor @bostonslut
Replying to @vinnieforvincentsTalk about whiplash 😂
Cloud @81rockme
Replying to @bunnybrain81welcome to our new sister, someone hand this toddling bitch a smoke
Laura @bunnybrain81
I went out to clear my head a bit, I’m okay now. But honestly guys, the things I would do to be sitting on this man’s lap… clothes optional… fuck I’m going to hell
Thor @bostonslut
Replying to @bunnybrain81girl look at him 😂 if we’re going to hell he’s driving the bus, just get in
Diana @bringbackstyle
Rozanov trying to pretend he’s not a fuckboy will never not be hilarious like sir, you invented the game, the game invented you, who are we kidding here
Maybe-Linette @putwingsonthatman
I mean no it does make sense if you listen to what he said? He’s all about consent clearly, he doesn’t play games
Valerie @dallaskentgirl
Replying to @bringbackstyleRozanov trying to pretend he has class smh… idk if it’s more funny or sad
Jordan @giveitupbusteritstheraiders
Replying to @bringbackstyleJust because he sleeps around doesn’t mean he’s a fuckboy, if you look at the definition fuckboys are a specific type of asshole, look it up
Maybe-Linette @putwingsonthatman
Not me going to urban dictionary to better understand hockey players, what is my life
Valerie @dallaskentgirl
“if you look at the definition” 🤓 girl stfu, you want to fuck him so bad it makes you look stupid
Jordan @giveitupbusteritstheraiders
Not the Dallas Kent stan telling me I look stupid, am I being pranked?
Carolina @marlypresident
Not for nothing but goddamn that C and A together… I would happily die squished between their pecs
Zoey K @rozarleaubeliever
Right? Ideal sandwich right there… and I could be the filling
holyhole @phuckinthenet
You know what? I see it. Put me in coach
Guru Taste @cliffonmyuntil
Replying to @marlypresident
Freddie @fuckthemupthenme
yeah I don’t know if I want them to fuck me or if I want to fuck them
Zoey K @rozarleaubeliever
Replying to @fuckthemupthenme
Do I need to say it? 😂
Jordan @giveitupbusteritstheraiders
Replying to @fuckthemupthenmenot you creating fake dilemmas to torture himself with… free yourself coz
Ash @onlythebestforboston
[Image Description: Ilya Rozanov, standing near a coffee machine. He’s dressed in a pale blue t-shirt and distressed jeans. In front of him, head thrown back in laughter, is actress Delphine Tamson, with her new buzzcut for her next movie And We Descended.]
not for nothing but those were from a few days ago, timeline could match
Ash @onlythebestforboston
like idk about you but they look cozy as fuck, and if anyone has seen The Rawest they’ll agree with me that she definitely could be freaky enough for Roz
MashaMash @babesandpucks
she’s an actress tho, that was acting
Ash @onlythebestforboston
sure, but she produced the movie and apparently had a lot of notes that made it into the script
MashaMash @babesandpucks
oh shit I didn’t know that
Chaarlie @volatilevirement
Replying to @onlythebestforbostonthat has to be an edit, wtf?
Ash @onlythebestforboston
not an edit, bts from ad campaign [link]
Chaarlie @volatilevirement
isn’t she married?
Ash @onlythebestforboston
Would you let that stop you from riding that Russian dick?
Chaarlie @volatilevirement
Rob @hockeyfan00001
Replying to @onlythebestforbostonShe looks gay to me, the “husband” is probably her beard anyway. Disgusting
Ash @onlythebestforboston
Replying to @hockeyfan00001Oh damn! Nobody told me that the sewers were overflowing, but I think some literal shit is becoming sentient enough to tweet at me
Rob @hockeyfan00001
Replying to @onlythebestforbostonFag
MashaMash @babesandpucks
Oh wow 😂 that was so weak bro
Ash @onlythebestforboston
Replying to @hockeyfan00001It’s Mr Fag to you, loserboy
MashaMash @babesandpucks
Replying to @hockeyfan00001
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
Okay but he said he likes to get better, like it wasn’t a one night stand. Maybe it’s one of his regulars?
Freddie @fuckthemupthenme
If she wasn’t, she is now, Roz isn’t the type to let a 12/10 ONS slip away
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
Is there any way to check? Wasn’t there talk about a group chat at some point? Like for all of Roz’s girls?
Freddie @fuckthemupthenme
I think that was a myth
Jordan @giveitupbusteritstheraiders
Replying to @vinnieforvincentsYeah no that was debunked
Romana @bringmethosepucks
Replying to @fuckthemupthenmeFor you maybe. I still believe
Kayleygh @hockeyromantik
Replying to @fuckthemupthenmeWhat’s ONS?
Freddie @fuckthemupthenme
Google is right there dude
Romana @bringmethosepucks
Replying to @hockeyromantikONS = One night stand
Kayleygh @hockeyromantik
Replying to @bringmethosepucksThank you!
Eleanor T @rozandmarly
I mean the way Marly smiles at him… I know who the 12 is
Russell@captainroz
The 12 is your IQ when you decided to type this
Pauline @candaswitch
Replying to @rozandmarlyIkr, he’s so smitten
Ekaterina @pucksforrussia
Replying to @rozandmarlyYou guys are literally so dumb
Russell @captainroz
Replying to @rozandmarlyYou’re seeing things, Rozanov is 100% straight
Eleanor T @rozandmarly
Roz is straight but you’re not saying anything about Marleau?
Russell @captainroz
I would but I can’t. That smile IS gay.
Eleanor T @rozandmarly
You’re basically one of us
Russell @captainroz
Never
Kayleygh @hockeyromantik
I want the 12 to be a redhead, they’d have beautiful babies together
Cloud @81rockme
If you think they’re talking about baby-making sex, you might be on the wrong side of twitter
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
Girl every side of twitter is the wrong side of twitter
Cloud @81rockme
worst timeline realness
Gavin @kelcewinnn
Replying to @hockeyromantikIt makes sense, everyone knows redheads are the freakiest
Cloud @81rockme
Replying to @kelcewinnnYeah, nobody above the age of 12 believes that
Jamila @24eternal
Replying to @kelcewinnn😂 says who, your browser history?
Bree @shanechosenone
Replying to @kelcewinnnYou sound like a medieval priest who got a little too into the idea that witches are real and who thinks moles are a mark of the devil or smth
Jamila @24eternal
Replying to @shanechosenone😂 So… dumb as fuck?
Bree @shanechosenone
Yeah dumb as fuck
Yuri @vamosonthepuck
sooooo the whole point of the fuckboy challenge is to make girls feel self-conscious and humiliated and disrespected by their sexual partners, right? But Roz played and now there’s a baddie out there who knows she’s a part of modern history? I call that a win for #feminism
Bree @shanechosenone
okay let’s not go crazy now
Romana @bringmethosepucks
I just know if I was on the roster I wouldn’t even give a shit about whether I’m the 12. I’ll lie there Mr Rozanov you can do whatever you want to me
Kate @babeitsme
Hate to break it to you but that’s why you’re not on the roster
Romana @bringmethosepucks
girl why so mean
Kate @babeitsme
girl trust me we’re on the same boat
Romana @bringmethosepucks
girl 🥹
Kate @babeitsme
girl ❤️
Natalie @bossyforboston
okay I’ve always loved Roz but the way he’s talking about it… idk. Feels objectifying
Gavin @kelcewinnn
No class, no respect
Cloud @81rockme
Replying to @kelcewinnnGavin 😂 literally gtfo
VinnieL @vinnieforvincents
Replying to @kelcewinnnShe’s not gonna fuck you bro…
Thor @bostonslut
Replying to @bossyforbostonobjectifying? He’s just created a legend
Kate @babeitsme
for real, 12 is literally my fucking hero, I need to know her secrets, who IS SHE?
Thor @bostonslut
yeah idk if personal agency gets better than having boston’s resident manslut say you sexed him good enough to break the scale
Kate @babeitsme
For real, where are the book deals when you actually need them
Eva-Lea @rozgirl4ever
You’re all reading way too much into this. He’s not really rating the girl, he’s rating himself. He literally said he doesn’t have bad sex? He’s just an overconfident egomaniac
Bree @shanechosenone
Finally, someone who gets it
Jamiii @onicewithilya
Replying to @rozgirl4everBut girl your username?
Eva-Lea @rozgirl4ever
I didn’t choose this