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He felt like jelly, like his whole body was just going to crumble and smear all over the ice beneath him. Mack was used to being overworked, it comes with the whole living up to the first overall title, most of it came from himself. Making sure he was out on the ice for at least half an hour after practice, hitting the gym more then one should, keeping his diet as clean as he could, following every meal plan his dad puts in place, which is ten times harder with a certain curly blonde trying to shove new carbs down his throat every day “Mack, this hotel might take the crown for the best cookies, I swear to God. Please try it” or “You know that new burger place downtown, the just came out with the ‘monster burger’ and I need that in me stat, lets go” and of course Mack can’t say no to Will, so he always goes, always eats and just works for an extra hour in the gym the next day. Sometimes he thinks Will does it on purpose, which he does appreciate in some sort of way, behind the guilt.
He scrapes his way off the ice and slams his body down onto the bench, Will was sat three away from him which is another thing he hated about the whole ‘being on every single fucking line’ thing. He gets it, he really does. They need him out there, need him to strengthen other lines that just aren’t connecting that night, but the burn in his chest after finishing what feels like his fiftieth shift clouds the understanding. Sometimes he looks at Warso and hopes he’ll see the exhaustion behind his eyes, hopes he’ll reach over and tap Mack on the shoulder saying “You’re doing great Mack, take a rest” but he doesn’t and even if in some different universe he did, Mack couldn’t rest, not on this team, not when they’re playing like this.
He’s honestly shocked and a little proud that they even made it to overtime, they’d been moving like sloths all night, turning the puck over, not connecting passes. Which was the norm lately. His legs were burning, his chest was tight and he could barely see. He’d been out for what felt like forever. And then he slipped up. He misread the play and Holloway slithered passed him like it was nothing, like he didn’t even try, and with 3 seconds to go he tapped it in and the horn buzzed. Mack could have fallen to the ground at that very minute, smacked his head continuously against the ice and just let it take him, he probably wouldn’t feel it anyway. He didn’t look up, he skated off the ice with his head to the ground, like if he looked up all the fans that had travelled so far to see them, to see him, would be chanting “Useless” or “Washed”, he could hear the distant boos, even though they weren’t actually there.
Media was an excruciating as ever. The locker room was silent, guys back and forth from the showers quietly, every cough or footstep was louder than it should have been. Everyone was so over this slump. Mack let the water run down his back, holding his body up with his palms pressed to the tile, the guys that were in there had left and he knew it was intentional. They knew to leave him when he felt like this. It made him feel a little bad, a little bit bratty, made him feel like he controlled everyone, he didn’t like that. With his eyes squeezed shut he heard the squeaky door open, and he knew only one guy that was dumb enough to be in here with him right now.
It was quiet for a while, shuffling behind him before he felt a hand run along his shoulders. It should be weird, Hockey players see each other ass naked all the time, in the locker rooms, in the showers, anywhere really, It was the culture, but it was sort of an unspoken rule to not actually touch each other whilst the water ran, no one had ever broken that rule before, until now.
“You doing okay” Will asked, hands now turning the knob to release water beside him, Mack didn’t say anything, he thinks even if he tried nothing would come out.
“Does it hurt?” Will asked casually, water running over his face, letting it conjure in his stupid luscious hair
Mack turns his head to Will finally, he eyes consumed with water, but he liked the burn. He deserved the burn. “What?”
Will nudges his head, eyes travelling downwards. Mack follows his gaze which lands on his cock. He’s hard. His body so fucked up he didn’t even realize. Mack snaps his body around, stepping out from under the water. “Dude, what the fuck?”
Will lets out a laugh “Sorry man, it was kinda just there” He pushes his wet hair back and turns the knob again, stepping out just like Mack did “its okay I know you get hard when you’re frustrated” his face curls a little as soon as he says it, like he knows how he sounds
Mack grabs his towel from the wall beside them and wraps it around himself tightly, it brushes his cock and he jumps a little, Wills eyes on him “That’s a really weird thing for you to know, man” Mack mutters, tucking a wet strand of hair behind his ear. Even lifting his arm hurts.
“Sorry” Will says, he drops his head to the floor and repeats the same process as Mack, his cheeks are a little red and he sort of looks like he’s about to throw up. Mack feels like shit, he made him feel like that. God he can’t do anything right today
“You get hard after the hot tub” Mack mutters, now this conversation feels a little odd and he wishes he’d just felt Will to feel embarrassed. Will’s head snaps up.
“No I don’t” His face is about to scrunch up in defense, which Mack also knows. He knows everything about Will. And it is does, Mack fights back a smile, the first time he’s felt the need to do so in days.
“Yes, you do” Mack laughs, hand gripping the towel likes its going to fall down “Why do you think I always let you get out first”
“That’s-“ Will furrows his brows, he looks so innocent right now Mack just wants to punch him “It’s the friction and shit” Mack smiles at him. He wants to protect him forever, keep him safe from the dangers of the world type of thing, shield him from sadness. Which is why he needs to work harder, because when they lose, the team is sad, and the team is Will. Which means Mack is making Will sad. He coughs away the lump in the throat and turns on his heals “Lets go, boner boy”
Will snickers “Ironic considering you’re literally the one with a hard on right now” He trails behind Mack as he pushes open the door, leading them back into an empty locker room. They must have taken longer than they thought. Shit. They change and gather their stuff quickly, heading out to the bus. No further mentions of said hard on, thank God.
The bus ride back to the hotel was quiet, too quiet. Reaves wasn’t here to lift the mood like he always tried to do. Will didn’t sit next to Mack which he thought was weird. He slotted in next to Eky in the second row leaving Mack a little startled. He stumbled to the back of the bus, confused. Had the comment about the tub made Will feel weird? I mean he brought it up first though, right? Macks head was ten times more rattled which was never good. Will had turned around briefly in his direction and must have caught on because two seconds later, Macks phone pings in his pocket.
Will: sorry, eky needed help with this girl. asked me to sit w him. you okay?
Mack smiled softly. He hated how Will could read him so well. It freaked him out because it felt so good to be known, like really understood. Will knew every little detail about Mack, including his boner schedule apparently. But he knew the indicators of every ‘Mack mood’ as he would call them. He knew that when Mack was angry and upset, he would squeeze his eyes shut really tight, like it would make everything go away. He would tell him his eyes were going to pop out if he kept doing it. He knew that when Mack was overly tired he would get dizzy; Will would call him an old man. Which was ironic considering he was older. He knew everything.
Mack: you staying with him tonight then?
Mack stares at Will at the front of the bus, waiting for him to pick his phone up. He saw it light up from where he sat at the back when the notification came through, which meant so did Will. Fuck he was probably sick of him, was probably angry about the game too, maybe he wanted to yell at Mack for whatever the fuck that OT was. Just as he gets lost in his thoughts, his phone pings
Will: fuck no, you know I sleep best after losses with you
Will: like in the same room as you
Will: obviously lol
Macks cheeks flush at the stupidity of that idiot. His idiot, he thought. His best friend. No one else’s
Mack: lmao okay
Mack: do you want food or no?
Will picks up his phone immediately this time
Will: we could yeah. what you thinking?
Mack: I asked you first
Will: upto you
Mack: Will
Will: pizza
Mack smiles and hearts the message. His idiot.
Once they’d gotten off the bus it was around nine and a few of the guys made their way to the bar without a second thought. Mack huffed and walked to the elevator only to fin that Will wasn’t following. Macks head snapped around to him walking with Eky.
“Will?” Mack almost whined, and now he just wants to die because he sounds like a pathetic baby who can’t live without his best friend, Wills eyes meet his and he takes a few steps forward “I thought-“ He pauses when the elevator opens. He doesn’t get in “Thought we were getting pizza?”
“Yeah bud, we are. Just gonna get a few drinks first. You know legal and shit now” he says with pride, like its not a milestone everyone in their life reaches. Will never goes out, or at least he never used to. Mack used to think it wasn’t the age thing but because he just wanted to be with him. Now he’s rethinking.
“Oh- okay” Mack feels so small right now. Like he’s a shrunken down version of himself that has Wills foot to his neck. Wills’ eyes go a little softer
“Hey, why don’t you come? I can definitely sneak you a few” His arm reached out and taps Mack on the arm. The slap feels like a stab. Mack tightens his grip on his jacket, his knuckles going white. He wants to be upstairs with Will, just Will. Like it usually is.
“I’m just gonna go to bed I think” Mack mumbles
“Oh..” Will says, he flicks his head back to the loud bar, the guys have settled at a table, shouting and laughing like they hadn’t just fucking lost for the fifth game in a row. He turns back to Mack “No pizza?”
“No” Mack barks, he doesn’t really feel like fucking pizza right now
Will knows, of course he does. He knows which ‘Mack mood’ indicator this is. He swallows loud enough for Mack to hear “Mack I’m only gonna be like an hour and half, max. Still wanna watch a movie and shit with you” His voice was soft, like he was being careful
“I’m tired, Will. Go have fun” He says. Will opens his mouth to reply but Macks already turned on his heels walking towards to stairs. Each step burns. But he deserves the pain.
Now he knows it’s a little petty. He knows he really has no right to demand Will only spend time with him; But they have a routine after losses. Food and a movie. Since rookie year, and they’ve never skipped it, ever. The thought of Will downstairs laughing with the guys while Mack is here, laying in bed in nothing but a really old pair of grey sweats, watching some dumb movie he and Will had promised to watch together, just to spite him, makes him want to claw his hair out. Mack looks at the clock every five seconds, until the hour and a half is up. No Will. He sighs and throws his iPad on the floor once the movie is over. He slips under his duvet and turns off the lamp. This room feels huge with Will not in it. He shivers at the cold and relaxes his head in to the pillow, wondering if this change was a one-time thing or if he was going to have a problem here.
At some point Mack must have drifted off, clutching the pillow from underneath, because he suddenly is woken by a keycard being swiped and the door shutting from behind. He goes still and ignores the yearning feeling for normality in his stomach. He hears Will shuffle around, taking off his shoes, walking to his case and pulling out some sort of clothing that he slips on, leaving his old on the floor in a pile. He hears the bathroom door click and finally lets out a breath. He shifts and rubs his eyes. He hates feeling like this towards Will, especially when he knows he has no right to.
The door re opens filling the room with temporary light before shutting again, The room feels so quiet Macks on edge, until he feels a dip in the bed next to him
“Mack?” Will whispers, his fingers attaching to Macks shoulder and he shivers. His brief touch feels like heaven, like all Macks ever wanted and he begins to realize this may not be a normal reaction to your ‘best friend’ being around you.
“Mack, I know you’re awake” Will whispers again, shuffling so he’s fully sat behind Mack. He runs his fingers up and down his arm softly. Mack thinks he might crumble
“Two hours and thirteen minutes” Mack finally mumbles.
“What?” Will says, that stupid soft voice again, it makes Mack feel like his insides are floating around.
“You were gone for two hours and thirteen minutes” He repeats, the digital clock in his eyeline from underneath the TV
“Mack..” Will mutters, he pulls his body down further so that he’s laying with his chest pressed to Macks back “You counted?”
Mack nods, the tip of his nose tingles and he feels stupid for not understanding sooner. Understanding why he feels like he’s lost a limb when Will finally goes home after staying at Mack’s for a week straight or why when Will’s not around it feels like it’s his first day on earth and he has no idea how to live, why the sight of Wills bare stomach makes his body tingle and why he feels like his body is going to shut down when he leaves him. He feels like a blind idiot. He feels guilty for loving a boy that could never love him back
“Macky..” Will says, his breath fans over Macks bare arm “Turn around, let me see you” Will whispers and Mack obeys, of course he does. He shifts his whole body around so that he’s face to face with those pretty blue eyes. Will smells a little like tequila but it’s drowned out by the cologne and natural scene of him. Their faces are so damn close it’s making Macks body itch
“I’m sorry” Will whispers “I was so bored after ten minutes, but the guys kept pulling me back down. Only wanted to be up here with you” His voice is so quiet that of they weren’t so close Mack wouldn’t catch a word of what he just said
“Really missed you” Mack admits, feeling a sort of vulnerable that makes him want to be swallowed up by the ground. Will smiles
“Won’t do it again, not without you, Okay?” Mack feels so guilty that his body tenses
“No, Will. That’s not fair. I want you to have fun, don’t want you to stay cooped up here just cause’ of me” Macks’ cut off almost immediately by Wills’ finger on his lips. Their legs have started to intertwine under the sheets
“Shhh.. Mack” He pauses and Mack can practically hear the thoughts forming in his head “I hate being without you, especially after a loss like that. I wanna be here, making you feel better. Making sure you know it’s not your fault”
Macks body tingles “but it was my fault” His nose tingles again and a tear slips down his cheek. Will swipes it away and leaves his hand to rest on Macks cheek. His presence is so warm.
“No, Macky” He shakes his head “I cannot believe how long you were out there tonight; all the guys were saying it. You looked so tired, baby, I just wanted to take you off the ice myself. Would have done a million shifts just so that you wouldn’t have to do one more”
Macks’ whole body shivers, and Will notices. Of course he does. His Will.
“You called me baby” Mack whispers, their faces even closer then before. Will runs his thumb up and down Macks cheek. His eyes flutter shut
“Oh..” Will’s voice cracks “Sorry.. I didn’t realize” He clears his throat
“No” Mack corrects, his hand now places of Wills hip “I like it”
Will smiles again, and Mack thinks it’s the best thing he has ever seen. He decided again that he’s going to work harder every single day to make sure that it never leaves Will’s face.
“Yeah?” Will asks, he moves his face closer and Macks whole body feels like its being lifted up the heaven “Fuck, Mack. Please let me kiss you. Can’t hold it in anymore”
Mack doesn’t answer with his words, but with his lips. He slams into Will with maybe a little too much force, but neither of them really care. Not when they’ve both waited too long for it. Wills mouth tastes like what Mack imagines the phrase ‘sunshine and rainbows’ tastes like. Will pulls back eventually and rests his forehead on Macks
“Been waiting so fucking long to do that you have no idea, Macky” Will whispers, pressing a small peck to Macks nose. He giggles
“You aren’t in a hot tub” Mack smiles, feeling all clever.
Will pulls back with a puzzled look before looking between them, eyes landing on the tent in his pants. He laughs with his head thrown back.
Holy shit, Mack loves this fool so much.