Work Text:
"Amen."
The Church was always meant to be a sacred place. For worship and acceptance- well, mostly acceptance.
Homosexuality wasn't allowed. It was a sin. You'd go straight into hell if you even thought of somebody of your own sex in that manner.
Disgusting.
Unholy.
But why did Kaito always feel so weird around his best-friend?
Him and Makoto had met in elementary. He remembered it pretty well to the point it was almost built into his muscles. Walking up to the quiet kid and asking him about something stupid like his favorite show- and they just clicked.
Just friends.
Always friends.
Nothing-
"Kaito!" A voice cut off his thoughts- loud and threatening yet recognizable and soothing all at once. His father. "Yes, father?" Kaito jolted, head snapping up to gaze up at the man as he tugged on his shoulder. "We are leaving now- what was keeping you so distant just now? I called your name at least 3 times."
"..nothing. Just thinking about.. uh.." He trailed off as he allowed himself to be dragged past the rows of seats, mother short behind him and stupid stained glasses of Jesus staring down at him as if they already knew he wasn't thinking right. "About how much I love God. Yeah."
"Good. I expect nothing more. The lord does not approve of anything otherwise."
"Right."
-------
Everyday was pretty much the same. Everyday after school his parents tugged him down to the church just across the street, praying over and over and repenting for sins he wasn't even sure if he had ever committed. But they said he did. And they were always right.
Repenting for bad attitude on certain days where 'the devil got to him'.
Repenting for bad grades in classes he didn't understand because 'the devil was messing with his intelligence.'
Repenting for liking Mak-
No. What? No.
He doesn't like him. Never did like him. Pfft- why would he like him? He likes girls. He always liked girls. Pretty girls. With black hair and a bit more masculine, and just around his height so he didn't have to look too far up or down. Yeah. Girls.
-------
"Kaito, we've found a girl we think would be good for you." His mother told him just a day after that weird unholy thought process he had in his head. They found a girl for him? Was he not supposed to find one himself?
Maybe he wasn't. The lord chooses who belongs with you. Soulmates. And he is always right about everything, and even if you don't listen he'll find a way to fix you.
"Really? What's her name?"
"Mina."
"What's she look like?"
"Blonde. A little shorter then you. She is very pretty, Kaito."
"Oh."
...
They didn't really get along that well. They talked about God for a little bit and then when she started complimenting his freckles he backed up and told her a quick thanks and moved on. She didn't really seem as happy after that. Of course- just randomly talking to some boy from your church at some playground wasn't exactly the most comfortable situation to be in.
-------
Church again. Sunday church, actually. That meant more praying and repenting and thinking about Makoto and wait why would he be thinking about Makoto and holy shit he needs to fucking stop.
Stop.
"Ow-! Hey- why'd you hit me?"
"Take your Bible out. Seriously, why are you always zoning out?"
"Oh.. sorry, mother. Just busy thinking."
"Of what?"
"School."
"Well right now is time for God. You know this. Have you been reading your Bible every night?"
"Yes. I'm sorry. I'm listening now."
"Good."
He needed to get it together.
-------
8th grade was really damn annoying.
Wait, he can't say that bad word.
Darn.
Yeah. 8th grade was really darn annoying.
Kaito knew he should be able to understand it. He spent countless hours cooped up in his room digging through textbooks and wasting his Bible study time on trying to understand the Quadratic Formula. Math wasn't even a reasonable subject. Math had to do with Science. And Science was wrong. Because Science didn't make the world, God did. So Math just made no sense in anything.
Father would yell at him if he didn't raise his grade, though. Failing meant that the devil was taking a hold of your mind and twisting it so you were stupid. He couldn't let that happen.
So he just kept studying.
-------
"Why is men falling in love with men such a bad sin, mother?" Kaito asked one day, rather boldly for someone who stuck to following whatever his parents said without questioning. He probably should've just kept his mouth shut- he figured that much out when she turned her head to him like he was a stranger. "Have we not discussed this? God did not intend for life to form that way. Adam and Eve were not two men, no, they were a man and a woman. And life should stay with that in mind. Do you understand?"
"Of course, mother."
"Good. I expect you apologize to God tonight for even asking such a irresponsible question."
"Yes, mother."
-------
Kaito laid in his bed, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. Star shaped stickers littered the paint, the glow in the dark nature leaving the room illuminated in various spots of a greenish-yellow. He had set them up with Makoto back when they were in 5th grade. He stared up at them a lot.
Sometimes he wondered if God had made any other universes then their own. It was a funny thing to think about. Every star could exist paralleled in another plain of existence-
He and Makoto could exist in another plain of existence.
One where Makoto was a girl.
Would Makoto look pretty as a girl?
Yeah. Yeah he would.
He liked girl Makoto. He wished girl Makoto was in this universe.
Maybe then he'd be with her. God can't call him a sinner for that.