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Alan wakes up slowly, head feeling heavy and body tense. For a moment, he thinks he’s been captured or worse, but he’s welcomed by a familiar sight when he opens his eyes: the Garricks’ guest room. Did he drink too much last night and Jay had to carry him here? No, Jay left before he did. And he hasn’t been able to get drunk since he was rejuvenated by the Starheart. He found that out the hard way during his and Johnny’s anniversary, when he went to their bar and, despite spending the entire night drinking heavily while staring at their initials, left with his mind just as clear as when he had entered.
He makes an effort to remember last night. The night was still young when Jay left, just like he was. He decided to have another drink and then go out as Sentinel to take advantage of it. His memory stops after that. Why can't he remember? A sudden gust of wind interrupts his thoughts.
“You're awake,” Jay says, uncharacteristically serious.
“What happened?” Alan asks.
“I forgot my jacket at the bar last night, when I went back to get it you weren't there,” he hesitates for a moment. “The bartender said you left with a woman. I… I'm sorry.”
“For what?”
He gets flashes of memory. Yes, there was a woman. Not just any woman, the new Harlequin.
“I got suspicious so I tried to find you. I did but it was too late. You were on her bed, naked and unconscious.”
He remembers a bit more. Harlequin on top of him, the sickeningly sweet smell of her perfume, her long black hair falling down his chest as he tried to fight off her unwanted touches, the sweat running down his body as he struggled to move. He should have been able to fight her off. He is a veteran hero, a master of willpower, not a victim who needs to be rescued.
“It wasn't…” he closes his eyes, a futile attempt to get rid of the memories. “It wasn't your fault.”
Jay sighs. “Is there anything I can do?”
He needs to go home. Molly must be getting worried. What is he going to tell her? He wants to keep it from her but his wife knows him better than anyone. He slowly gets up from the bed, noticing that he's wearing a set of pajamas that is too big for him, probably belonging to Jay.
He stares at his ring. He should manifest his costume and fly back to Gotham. But his willpower failed him once already. Instead, he walks towards Jay, who is still standing at the door.
“Take me home.”
Jay gathers him into his arms and he feels safe for the first time since he woke up. Another gust of wind and they are gone. He thanks him when they get there and rejects his attempts to stay, telling him to go back to Joan. He phases through the door and into the bedroom, hoping to change clothes before Molly sees him.
“Where were you?” She asks as he steps into the kitchen. “Did something happen?”
“I just lost track time.”
It's not like it’s the first time he spends the night outside of home. Molly never asks him questions when he returns in the morning, just like he doesn’t ask about her trips to Opal City that leave her smelling of roses. It’s not the way a marriage should be but it’s how they make theirs work.
“Alan, you look terrible. I’m just worried about you.”
She puts a hand on his shoulder and he shoves her away. He can’t do this right now. He’ll go back to playing the role of husband and father and hero later but right now all that he wants is to stew in his misery. He was weak and stupid and all the willpower in the world couldn’t stop the Harlequin from taking advantage of that. Molly already knows all of his flaws. He loves her, although not in the way he should, and he doesn't want her to know about yet another way he failed as a husband.
He stays too long in the bathroom, trying to blink back tears. He wants to hunt Harlequin down and kill her this time or at least drag her to jail but for what? He won’t reveal that she… won't reveal what happened to anyone else. It's bad enough that Jay knows already. No one else ever will.
He washes his face and leaves, hoping that Molly will believe that he's fine or at least stop pressing. He's a veteran member of the JSA, an example to the superhero community, a shining light in the darkness they all face. His costume materializes and if he is trembling slightly beneath his cape, no one will notice. He flies away, looking for criminals to stop. He's fine.