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Max and Oscar were set up by their parents.
They got married and led a comfortable life. Oscar worked at his own bakery since baking was his hobby, he was highly skilled at making all kinds of bread, from sweet to savory. Meanwhile, Max worked at his father’s company, where he served as executive director, and naturally, his life was very busy.
To be honest, Oscar had resigned himself to his fate, accepting a relationship with someone chosen by his parents, not by himself. He often tried to make their marriage work, but it seemed his desires clashed with Max’s.
Max is very cold; even though they live under the same roof, they sleep in separate rooms—Oscar in the guest room and Max in the master bedroom. Their clothes aren’t kept in the same closet, nor are any of their other belongings. Sometimes Oscar thinks about and gathers the courage to talk to Max about ending their marriage. However, he still has other desires that must certainly be fulfilled because he only lives once. He doesn’t want to get married twice; he doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship with anyone other than Max; and he doesn’t want a divorce.
Since Max is a busy man, he rarely spends time at home. Max sometimes comes home after two or three days, and even Oscar doesn’t know what Max does during that time. Oscar should have asked, but he didn’t have the courage.
This cycle has continued in their married life for the past four years.They attend family gatherings with fake smiles and feigned affection. At some point, Oscar hoped to enjoy all the family gatherings he attended with Max with genuine happiness, real affection, and Max’s unforced smile.
Oscar sometimes tried to strike up a conversation with Max when he was home. However, Max’s attitude always dampened Oscar’s good intentions. In the first year of their marriage, Oscar was always the one to take the initiative for small talk with Max; the same went for the second and third years. Oscar never grew tired of it.
Oscar once made small talk about Max’s work. However, the response he received made him think that perhaps Max really didn’t want him to get involved in his personal life. To Max, he was a stranger. Oscar greatly admired Max; that was why he was committed to this marriage. He cared for Max, looked out for Max, worried about Max, and loved Max. But Max didn’t feel the same way about Oscar.
Max was merely fulfilling his obligation (Marrying Oscar) and living his own personal life without Oscar there.
One time early in their fifth year of marriage, Oscar wasn’t home.
Max hadn’t realized anything was missing from the house they’d lived in for about four years. He only realized it after he decided to spend his day off sleeping, and when he finally woke up, walked into the living room, then went to the kitchen, and felt that the house was too cold.
Usually, when Max was home, Oscar would prepare breakfast with his homemade bread and the black coffee he always served Max. Although Max never ate that bread, and it always ended up in the trash.
Max was indifferent to Oscar’s absence, because he thought maybe Oscar was staying at his bakery again. He often did that (staying overnight). Max knew this because Oscar always let him know when he was going to stay over. However, Max didn’t realize that this time, Oscar hadn’t told him he was staying over.
Days passed, and Max went back to work and came home, only to realize once again that his house felt colder.
Max thought Oscar had been staying at the bakery for too long. He sent Oscar a message asking him to come home, but Oscar never replied.
Max contacted Oscar’s family, asking if Oscar was at his parents’ house or if they knew where he had gone, but the only answer he got was that they didn’t know where Oscar was.
Oscar wasn’t staying at his bakery, because Max went there and found that Oscar’s bakery had been closed for a week.
Max didn’t know where Oscar was.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Oscar never came home.
His bakery never reopened either.
Today marks the sixth month since Oscar disappeared, and Max had never once entered Oscar’s private room. He realized again that he had never entered Oscar’s private space during their entire marriage. Max could have, but he never tried.
Finally, Max decided to enter that room. The guest room—Oscar’s room. The door opened, and the room felt cold, perhaps because the owner wasn’t there. Max walked through Oscar’s room, which perfectly reflected Oscar’s personality. The room was tidy—clearly tidied up before Oscar left home. He glanced at the wardrobe, the window, the shelves holding the books Oscar often read, and the table next to the bed where Oscar used to rest alone.
Max glanced at the drawer and opened the top compartment. He found a book—a plain notebook with a dark blue cover. Max decided to take the book and read its contents. It was clear that the book was old, as the pages had yellowed.
September 27, 2021.
This is my first year of marriage to Max. I never imagined I'd end up marrying a stranger chosen by my parents. Max is pretty good to me, and I like him.
I'll keep doing my best to make sure this marriage isn't in vain. I don't want a second or third marriage because i only want to marry once in my lifetime, and I met Max. I married to Max. I want this marriage to be happy for me and for him. And I will try to be a good husband to Max. I hope Max starts to open his heart to me because I've been doing that for Max ever since we first exchanged wedding vows at the altar.
I love you, Max.
Max's one and only husband, Oscar.
September 29, 2022
The second year... I’m still trying to make this marriage a happy one for both Max and me.
Honestly, I’ll wait until Max starts opening his heart to me because I’ve already fallen in love with him. Max is always busy, and I don’t want to interrupt his work. I’ll be a good husband by not meddling in his personal affairs; I don’t want Max to feel uncomfortable with my presence, so I’ve scaled back my efforts to talk with him a bit.
Max, I’m truly afraid that my feelings for you will keep growing stronger; I’m truly afraid you don’t feel the same way about me—I truly love you.
Max's one and only husband, Oscar.
September 28, 2023
This is our third year, and there haven’t been any significant changes in our marriage.
I’m just afraid I’ll give up on loving you, Max. Going through each day without any sign of care from you feels a little painful. I want to try to care about everything happening in your life, but you won’t open the door to me. I’m afraid I’ll get tired.
At the very least, I’ll keep trying, even though the hope that was once whole in the first year has slowly dwindled in this third year. I’ll always love you, Max, always.
However, I also don’t want to keep hoping and forcing this feeling to be reciprocated. Even though you are my husband and we’re bound by the word “marriage,” I feel like I’m just a stranger hoping for your love.
I feel sorry for myself. But I’ll keep trying.
I love you, Max. Truly.
Max's one and only husband, Oscar.
September 27, 2024
Our fourth wedding anniversary. It feels much the same as the years before. Max has never opened up to me, and I’m exhausted.
I realize that our marriage is still relatively young; four years is a short time for some people, but to me it feels like an endless, thorny corridor with thorns piercing me at every turn. I love Max, truly and always. I love him so much it hurts.
It turns out there really was a reason behind your closed-off nature, Max. You had someone else, long before I came into your life and this marriage began. I’m sorry I only realized this now; I should have seen it sooner and acted quickly so our marriage could end and you could be with her.
Besides, it seems like you’d be happier without me.
Michelle? I’ve noticed she’s beautiful and more suited to be by your side, Max.
I feel like I don’t have much time left to keep trying to open your heart to me.
Max, I’m pretty sure you don’t really know me, because we’ve never talked about ourselves. I like hot chocolate; I hope you know that.
When the time comes, I just hope you’ll keep moving forward with your life, and I also pray that you’ll always be surrounded by people who love you.
I will always be present in every corner of our marital home, even though you’ll never realize it.
I always pray for the best for you and your life, even though fate may not include me in it.
Honestly, Max, I’ll never stop loving you; I’ve just chosen to stop because I don’t have much time left to spend with you. My heart doesn’t want to stop, but fate says I must.
I love you, Max. I truly love you.
Max's one and only husband, Oscar.
September 26, 2025
Hello, Max.
First of all, I want to sincerely apologize for not saying a proper goodbye to you.
I’m sorry for intruding on your personal life and trying to be a part of it.
I am so grateful that in this life of mine—which comes only once—you are the one who became my husband, Max. Even though we were bound by our parents’ agreement and not by the natural way others fall in love, I am grateful to have met you.
Even though I may not be an important part of your life now, I just want you to know that in my heart, your role is the opposite. You are the most important part of my life, and I love you.
That’s why I don’t want to burden you, Max.
Loving you is so painful, yet I’ll still carry this love with me as my body—which may soon depart as well—leaves this world.
I pray for all the best for you, Max.
And I’ll always be there for you, if you want me to. I’ll always be by your side if you want me to as well.
Not once have I regretted anything related to you, including this marriage. I’m happy in my own way, and I hope you always feel that way too.
Goodbye, Max.
With Love, Oscar.
Max froze. He read every paragraph Oscar had written about their marriage, about his hopes for their marriage, about how much Oscar loved Max.
He also didn’t realize that Oscar knew about Michelle.
To be honest, Oscar could have asked Max and asked him to end that relationship. However, Oscar also realized that if he left, who would Max go on to live his life with if not Michelle?
Max could only remain silent, his eyes burning; he wanted to cry but couldn’t. Oscar… Oscar truly felt love for someone like him. And he didn’t realize it.
Time couldn’t be turned back, and Oscar decided to leave.
he days that followed after Max read Oscar’s book felt overwhelming. He tried once again to find Oscar. He asked Oscar’s family (again), contacted Oscar’s friends—he tried everything to find Oscar, but to no avail.
Finally, Max decided to go to Oscar’s hometown in Australia.
Max took a leave of absence from his job; he was determined to find Oscar.
After arriving in Australia, he let Oscar’s family know he was coming to visit; Nicole replied that she would be happy to welcome Max.
Honestly, Max missed Oscar. He missed the warmth Oscar brought to the whole house. He missed Oscar’s coffee. He missed the sweet smell of freshly baked bread that he often caught a whiff of whenever Oscar and he were at home. Although he regretted a little that he had never tried it even once.
After a long journey from the Netherlands to Australia, Max finally arrived at Oscar’s parents’ house.
Nicole warmly welcomed. Max and asked him how his trip had gone; she also showed him to the guest room so he could rest for a while after his long journey.
Max woke up to find that it was already late afternoon. Nicole spoke with Max and invited him to chat later that evening in their backyard.
When Max arrived, Nicole was already waiting. Max immediately sat down next to Nicole, who was gazing at the sky.
“I knew you’d come; I just didn’t expect it to take this long. Oscar must have missed you so much,” said Nicole.
Max was stunned—Nicole knew where Oscar was. Before Max could respond, Nicole spoke again, her tone casual though a hint of sadness was visible on her face.
“Thank you, Max, for taking care of Oscar all this time. It’s nice to see him happy after your wedding. I thought this marriage would put pressure on Oscar, but he often tells me he’s enjoying his time in the Netherlands with you.”
“I’m sorry for lying to you a little, because that was Oscar’s last request, and I didn’t want to go back on my word,” Nicole said to Max.
Nicole continued her conversation with Max, and Max had to listen carefully because this might be the answer he’d been looking for all along.
“Oscar came back a few months ago; he was alone. I asked why he didn’t come with you, and he said you were busy with work, and he wanted to spend a little time here on vacation. I was glad he came; he spent his time walking around and baking bread for me and his younger sisters,” Nicole said.
“He’s been on vacation here for quite a while, but I’ve noticed that he looks more and more tired as the days go by. I asked if I should talk to Max so you could come pick him up and take him back to the Netherlands, but he said it wasn’t necessary and that Max would come later to pick him up.”
“However, one night Oscar asked me to talk in the backyard, right here. He sat exactly where you’re sitting now, Max. He said that if you asked about him, please tell him I didn’t know. That’s why, when you asked about Oscar’s whereabouts, I told you I didn’t know,” said Nicole.
“Oscar asked me to promise never to tell you that he was here, back in Australia. And I promised. I didn’t realize that was his last request.”. Nicole’s eyes welled up; she looked as if she were about to cry, but she continued the conversation.
“Two days later, I intended to wake him up because he usually woke up before his younger sisters, but that day was different. We were all awake, but he didn’t show up. Since it was already noon and I was worried, I went to the room where he was sleeping.” Nicole choked back tears but kept speaking. Max could only listen, afraid of what Nicole might say next.
“I called out to him and told him he had to get up right away because it was already late in the morning. I realized the door wasn’t locked, so I opened it right away, and I saw Oscar was still asleep, but his face was pale.”
“I went over to him right away, afraid he was sick. But it seemed like he had actually been sick before, and I hadn’t realized it,” Nicole continued.
“When I held his hand, it was already cold. His hand was cold, Max. He never woke up again.” Nicole burst into tears.
Max was froze.
“I panicked, calling all his sisters, his father. I intended to call you, Max. But I remembered Oscar’s request the night before when we were talking in the backyard, and I had already promised. I also remembered him saying you’d pick him up, so I decided not to tell you. I’m so sorry, Max.” Nicole said, looking at Max.
Nicole looked utterly devastated; Max was simply bewildered by the bitter reality that had struck him.
Sobbing, Nicole reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out an object. It was a Polaroid photo.
“He fell asleep holding this,” Nicole said, handing the Polaroid to Max.
Max could only remain silent when he realized it was the Polaroid photo from their wedding four years ago. Max had no idea Oscar had that item.
“That photo was taken by Hattie; she gave it to Oscar after his wedding to you. I didn’t expect he’d still have it either—in fact, it was the last thing he held,” Nicole said.
“I’m devastated; he seemed fine just a moment ago. I’m crying because he’s really gone and won’t wake up from his sleep.”
Max could only listen; he was speechless. What kind of husband was he? It was truly ironic to realize just how foolish he’d been.
Max looked at the Polaroid; it was him looking sullen and Oscar smiling with his prominent buckteeth. On the back of the Polaroid was written, “Oscar and his one and only husband, Max."
“Now I’m in the phase of letting go, because I know he left happily. He often told me how happy he was living in the Netherlands with you. Thank you, Max, for taking care of Oscar. I’m sorry for lying to you,” Nicole said sincerely.
Max’s heart sank because this reality wasn’t a dream. He was still dazed, stunned, unable to believe what he’d just heard from Nicole’s mouth. Oscar was gone, alone, in his room, without him.
Oscar lied to his mother about himself so he would continue to look good in the eyes of Oscar’s family; his heart ached, and he began to cry.
“Oh, Oscar, I’m sorry…” Max said, sobbing.
Nicole could only remain silent as she watched Max cry; she knew that Max was deeply devastated by Oscar’s departure. She stroked Max’s back and comforted him.
After his crying subsided, Max asked Nicole.
“Where is he now?” Max asked.
“Tomorrow I’ll take you to see him,” Nicole replied.
The drive Max took with Nicole wasn’t very far. And Max realized Nicole wasn’t taking him to a public cemetery.
Once they arrived, Nicole led Max up a small hill and said,
“I’m sorry if it’s too far—this was Oscar’s favorite spot. We used to vacation here often; I just wanted him to rest in his favorite place,” Nicole said with a smile.
Finally, they arrived, and after all this time, Max was reunited with Oscar—though not in the form he had last seen him seven months ago.