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Sleeping with Heeseung had been the best and worst decision Sunghoon had ever made.
But, really, who told him it was a good idea to have sex with his best friend’s brother? No matter how good looking Heeseung was, it had always been implied that he was off limits. Though, the first time hadn’t been his fault, if anyone, it had been Jay’s. He had told Sunghoon to go over to his flat, so that they could watch that new movie that had come out with Jake, their other friend, as well. However, when he got there, neither Jake nor Jay were present. In fact, Jay’s place seemed to be completely empty. Sunghoon had been reading to call and curse Jay out when Heeseung, Jay’s brother, suddenly appeared. He’d just finished his shift, apparently, and let Sunghoon in. They hadn’t had a proper conversation before then, and neither did they that day. There had been more moans than actual words.
All thoughts left Sunghoon’s mind as Heeseung pushed him against the mattress. They often ended like this, with Sunghoon’s face buried in a pillow and Heeseung pressed against his back. It was a position Sunghoon loved; it made him feel owned by Heeseung. He wasn’t, though, not yet. Not officially, anyway. There was definitely something, they knew they liked each other and had done more than just have sex in multiple positions and locations. But they hadn’t labelled it yet, too afraid of what that could do to their relationship with Jay.
It was hard to remember Jay existed when Heeseung was thrusting into him from behind and whispering how good he was.
“Such a good boy for me, baby,” Heeseung rasped out, hands firmly gripping Sunghoon’s waist. Sunghoon could only moan in response; he always became so stupid when being fucked by Heeseung.
He was Heeseung’s good boy, his princess, his baby. At least while they were inside Heeseung’s room, alone. In moments like these, and the few occasions they had managed to go out without anyone suspecting anything, Sunghoon belonged to Heeseung. He wished it could be all the time, and he knew Heeseung felt the same. They also both agreed that wasn’t possible.
While Jay had never outwardly stated Sunghoon couldn’t flirt with Heeseung, he’d never said so to Sunghoon, it had been subtly suggested to him that he better not even try. On the other hand, Heeseung had told Sunghoon that Jay had told him straight up not to try anything with him. There had been nothing implicit in that conversation. The fact that Heeseung had told this to Sunghoon after they had already fucked a couple of times and were cuddling naked on his bed was indication enough of how much Heeseung had heeded Jay’s threats. Honestly, Sunghoon was glad Heeseung hadn’t listened and that he was open about Jay’s warnings. While they weren’t being the best to Jay, at least they weren’t keeping secrets from each other.
It couldn’t be that wrong if he felt no guilt even as he came hard over Heeseung’s bed.
“Heeseung…” Sunghoon mewled into the pillow, not even trying to be quiet. He tightened around Heeseung as he shot over the bed, completely untouched and knowing they weren’t done. Heeseung fucked him through his orgasm, but didn’t slow down at all.
They knew their limits, and Sunghoon could take it. He would do it for Heeseung either way, but he loved how it felt after he came. The way his muscles would shake and tremble, the burning sensation from each thrust, how his body would fight to get away and stay close at the same time… he loved how completely consumed by Heeseung he felt. His mind would be hijacked and turned off for however long Heeseung continued to fuck him. Even if the air burnt his lungs and he felt like he was suffocating, with every nerve in his body being overstimulated and sensations turned up to a thousand, Sunghoon wanted to feel it more.
And the best part came as Heeseung kissed and bit over his shoulder, mouthing, “I’m gonna come, baby,” over his skin. That meant only one thing, and Sunghoon knew exactly what it was.
A few thrusts later, Heeseung came, deep and hard inside Sunghoon. The moment Heeseung’s cum filled his insides, Sunghoon softly moaned again and weakly came a second time. Maybe he had pissed himself, he couldn’t tell the difference all that well.
Once Heeseung was done, that’s when Sunghoon’s favourite part actually took place. Because Heeseung would take care of him so delicately and thoroughly, that it made up for all the times they had to pretend they weren’t more than acquaintances.
While Sunghoon half-dozed off, Heeseung would prepare a bath for them. They always took one together after having sex, because Sunghoon hated how sticky he’d feel in the morning if he didn’t, and Heeseung would do anything for him to feel more comfortable. So, their routine was something like this: Heeseung would take Sunghoon to the bathroom, he’d get the secret bag he hid from Jay with all the products Sunghoon loved and help him wash his hair. After that, as Sunghoon soaked in the warm water for a little longer, Heeseung would look for clothes. The softest t-shirt he could find in his closet for Sunghoon, plus a pair of boxers, and whatever he grabbed first for himself. He’d then change the sheets and air out the room before going to get Sunghoon. They’d cuddle to sleep, softly kissing and whispering everything they weren’t allowed to during the day.
Everything was calculated and precise so that Jay wouldn’t suspect a thing, following his schedule, setting alarms and never leaving marks that could link them together. Or so they thought.
Just as they were about to fall asleep, they were startled awake by a knock at Heeseung’s room door, followed by the door slowly creaking open. Heeseung reacted fast, pulling the covers over Sunghoon’s head and pressing him against his chest just as Jay’s head peeked out from behind the door. Sunghoon couldn’t see or breathe properly from there, but he could hear everything. His heart was beating like crazy, and he could feel it all the way up his throat.
“Hey, hyung? Have you seen Sunghoon? I saw his shoes—” Jay whispered, but stopped himself, probably once he noticed Heeseung wasn’t the only one there. Even if he had wanted to, Heeseung couldn’t lie and act asleep. He’d moved too much, too fast to pretend now.
“Uh… no,” Heeseung stammered, Sunghoon could feel the vibration of his voice from his chest.
“Oh,” Jay remained quiet for a beat too long, making Sunghoon feel even more nervous. “Oh, I thought— I didn’t know you had someone over,” Jay lowered the volume of his voice even more, Sunghoon guessed he thought he was asleep. “I thought those were Sunghoon’s shoes, but they must just have the same pair,” he added. Sunghoon relaxed just a little, at least he didn’t suspect it was him under the covers.
“Right,” Heeseung nodded subtly. Given that the room was dark, he wasn’t sure how much of that Jay could see either.
“Right, yeah,” Jay echoed awkwardly. Sunghoon could almost imagine him fidgeting with his sleeves. “Anyway,” he said, but then Sunghoon heard the door closing and Heeseung let go of him. Coming out from under the covers, Sunghoon’s hair was messy and his face was flushed from the heat.
For a moment, neither spoke and Heeseung seemed overwhelmed with the need to kiss Sunghoon. It was just a quick peck, but it still surprised Sunghoon. A few minutes later, once they were sure Jay was no longer going to come back, they finally relaxed.
“I’m sorry, love, I swear he told me he’d come back tomorrow,” Heeseung said apologetically.
“It’s okay,” Sunghoon replied just as quietly. “Maybe I should…” he began his sentence, but didn’t want to finish it. Realistically, he knew he couldn’t stay, not with Jay around, but spending the night apart was something they never did. At least, not since they moved from just fucking into whatever it was they had going on.
“He… may leave early?” Heeseung seemed to be thinking the same way as Sunghoon and trying to come up with a reason for him to stay anyway.
“I shouldn’t…” Sunghoon began his argument, but didn’t attempt to get out of Heeseung’s arms. He even sank further into his embrace.
“He won’t come back in if he thinks I’m with someone,” Heeseung reasoned. “We’ll figure it out in the morning.”
“Okay,” Sunghoon instantly gave up, even while well aware that it was a terrible idea. He convinced himself that sneaking out at that moment or in the morning would be basically the same; it was just as likely that he’d run into Jay then or later.
Waking up early was by far neither of their strongest suit, but they could still try. At least, Sunghoon believed he could wake up before Jay and leave their place without being noticed. He just needed a really early and loud alarm and it would all work out.
Except, of course, it did not all work out. Sunghoon still couldn’t fully regret staying.
The night had been wonderful, sleeping in Heeseung’s embrace always felt wonderful and safe. It was warm and soft, Sunghoon would rate it one of his top five moments in life. Unfortunately, when his alarm loudly began ringing at five in the morning, he didn’t just snooze it, he discarded it. All while half asleep. Then he promptly returned to his rightful place in Heeseung’s arms and didn’t open an eye until his phone rang again nearing midday. And of course, it was Jay calling him. He’d never panicked so much in his life like he had in the past twenty-four hours. Heeseung was next to him, sitting up on the bed with eyes wide, as he looked at the name of the caller. Sunghoon hung up on instinct, because he was sure Jay was still there, probably in his room or the kitchen.
Jay called again.
“What?” Sunghoon ended up picking up, because it’d be weird and suspicious if he didn’t.
“Hey,” Jay answered, which was strange. Usually, whenever Sunghoon was even slightly rude, Jay would call him an asshole or make a sarcastic comment. Now he sounded almost nervous, which made Sunghoon nervous in turn. “Are you free? I was thinking of going shopping…”
“Uh… right now?” Sunghoon was taken aback by Jay’s randomness and tone, especially because he called instead of texting like he normally would.
“Yeah,” Jay said. It was all so weird, Sunghoon kept repeating in his head that he knew about Heeseung. He had to know. “We can meet there in ten?”
“I— uh… I’m constipated?” Sunghoon said the first thing that came to his mind to delay the meeting.
“Are you talking to me from the toilet?” This sounded more like the usual Jay. “You know what, I don’t care, just… meet me there once you are… done.”
“Why can’t you go with someone else?” Sunghoon questioned, they had other friends, so Jay’s insistence was as weird as the call itself.
“I need to talk to you about something…” Jay said and Sunghoon almost dropped his phone. He knew. “Come when you are done, okay? I’ll get you a coffee,” he continued without realising how much stress he had caused on Sunghoon and ended the call.
From inside Heeseung’s room, they could hear Jay taking his keys and leaving, while Sunghoon freaked out on the bed. Jay had to know, but he didn’t want to confront both of them at the same time. There was no other reason for him to be so weird and say they had to talk. There was nothing else they could even talk about. They were fucked.
Sunghoon groaned and slumped onto the bed, completely covering himself, he hoped all his problems would disappear if he hid for long enough. Of course, that was silly, he couldn’t avoid Jay forever. What he could do was try to figure out what exactly Jay would tell him.
While the conversation obviously had to do with Heeseung, Sunghoon could torture himself coming up with what Jay would say first. Jay would undoubtedly mention feeling betrayed by them, maybe more so by Heeseung than by him. Though, that didn’t comfort Sunghoon in the slightest. There was no way Sunghoon would let Jay blame Heeseung for their unlabelled relationship. So, no matter what Jay had to say, Sunghoon’s friendship with him would, at the very least, be strained.
He wants to believe Jay is nice enough, and cares enough about them, to eventually come to accept them.
“Hoon…” Heeseung called from above him. “It’ll be fine,” he reassured him, and he somewhat sounded calm. “We knew he’d find out sooner or later, at least he didn’t walk in on anything indecent.”
“Yeah, but…” Sunghoon mumbled, uncovering his head. “I don’t want him to be mad at you,” Sunghoon pouted as he spoke, earning a short kiss from Heeseung.
“He won’t,” Heeseung lied, they both knew it was a lie. “Okay, he might, but… since he will probably get mad…” Sunghoon looked at him curiously and unsure of what he’d say. “Won’t you be my boyfriend?” Heeseung paused, waiting for Sunghoon’s answer.
“I— okay…” Sunghoon replied once he could breathe again, his heart beating fast. It was a little stupid, because they basically already were together, but hearing it said out loud made a bubbling feeling of happiness grow in his chest. He felt warm.
Heeseung laughed joyfully, and tackled Sunghoon back down against the bed. They made out one more time before remembering Sunghoon had to go meet Jay, and having to face the consequences of their hidden relationship. By then, Jay had been gone for about twenty minutes, and Sunghoon really needed to go unless he wanted Jay calling him again. He had to face the fact that he’d be meeting Jay after being fucked by Heeseung, wearing Heeseung’s clothes, to talk about his secret relationship with Heeseung. He felt like throwing up from nerves alone, he did not know how he’d be able to go through that conversation.
Before leaving, Sunghoon hugged and kissed Heeseung once more, who offered to go with him. After all, Jay was his brother, and they would be talking about their relationship. However, Sunghoon refused. He believed Jay had a reason to be asking to meet only him. As terrified as he was, he was also kind of curious. It might have been due to his little make out session with Heeseung or the fact that they were now officially boyfriends, but Sunghoon felt a little more ready to face the inevitable consequences.
As he changed into Heeseung’s clothes, he got a message from Jay saying he’d be waiting for him at a café. He had actually got the message several minutes before that, but he’d been distracted. He promised Heeseung to call him right after, no matter how things went. With that, Sunghoon mentally prepared himself to face Jay.
He had no issue finding Jay, even among all the people rushing through the café at midday, because his nervous aura radiated from him. Honestly, it seemed like Jay was twice as anxious as Sunghoon felt, and that made little sense. His nervousness seemed to intensify the moment he spotted Sunghoon, though he tried to act normal. Sunghoon didn’t mention anything and instead waited for Jay to begin the conversation however he wanted to.
After seven minutes of solid silence except for Jay bouncing his leg, Sunghoon’s patience ran out.
“Just say it,” he almost hit the table as he spoke. He didn’t only because he realised the coffee may spill.
“Okay,” Jay was still working on calming himself, but Sunghoon’s straightforwardness seemed to hurry that up. “You know we tease and annoy each other and… all that,” he started, which Sunghoon thought was just prolonging an unnecessary introduction. “But no matter what I say or how I treat you, I care about you,” Jay said and Sunghoon couldn’t help making a slightly disgusted face. He got kicked for it. “I’m being serious here,” Jay grumbled.
“Sorry, habit,” Sunghoon apologised. “I know you care, we are best friends,” Sunghoon reminded him, trying to remain strong for what was about to come.
“Right, right,” Jay nodded. “Which is why I’m telling you this for your own good… you have to give up on Heeseung-hyung,” he said, face serious and tone firm, but still somewhat careful. It was as if he didn’t want to hurt Sunghoon.
“What the fuck, Jay?” Sunghoon reacted instantly. He expected many things, but he never thought Jay would ask that of him. Had it been that the reason he wanted to talk to him alone? Was he interpreting the jealous, evil mother from dramas, asking him to leave his brother?
“I know, okay? I know you’ve liked hyung since forever, but it’s time to let that go,” Jay insisted, somewhat desperate but also sympathetic. It didn’t match the situation or his words.
“Why would I do that?” Sunghoon was offended and angry. Really, this had completely taken him by surprise. “What do you mean you’ve known I like hyung? I never told you!”
“You didn’t have to, I almost literally had to dry your drool off the floor the first time you met— it was disgusting to watch!” Jay told him, which only served to anger Sunghoon further. Sure, Sunghoon was sure he’d half-hate anyone how’d dated his sister as well, at least until he got to know them, but Jay was taking it too far.
“Then don’t look?” Sunghoon argued, kind of pettily. “What is it to you—”
“I’m just telling you so you don’t end up hurt!” Jay argued back. “I mean, I’ve been ignoring it since then, why—”
“Then keep ignoring it, I’m not going to break up with him just because—” They were definitely raising their voices more than it was publicly and socially acceptable, but this seemed to stop Jay on his track.
“What do you mean break up?” Jay questioned, like that had been surprising. Like they weren’t talking about that. Then he looked Sunghoon over from head to toe, twice. “You are wearing hyung’s clothes,” Jay stated, almost as if having a crisis.
“Well, yes,” Sunghoon said defensively. “I can’t leave my clothes over because you—”
“You are wearing his clothes, covering your neck, and those were your shoes, because you were in bed with Heeseung-hyung,” Jay sounded maniacal. “God, I don’t want to think about that ever again— you probably weren’t even constipated this morning!” Now, Sunghoon was scared of Jay’s mental state, or whatever was left of his sanity.
“Was that not why you called me to come here?” Sunghoon questioned, lost and slightly disordered.
“No,” Jay corrected him. “I called you because I thought hyung was with someone else and so I wanted to prevent your heartbreak,” Jay explained and it was weirdly sweet. “Why didn’t you tell me you were dating instead of secretly ogling at him? Though, I guess it wasn’t all that secret to him…”
“What? I don’t—” Sunghoon stopped himself from arguing because he knew it’d be pointless and probably a lie. “Whatever, you are taking this a lot better than we expected.”
“I was kind of waiting to see if you ever did get together,” Jay shrugged. Sunghoon was ready to hit himself, or Jay, with the table. “I knew you liked him and you are usually very forward with who you want— I thought it was a matter of time.”
“Then why did you tell hyung not to date me?” Sunghoon questioned. It had been the whole reason for the secrets to begin with.
“I never said that,” Jay frowned. “I said not to mess with you, because, you know, you actually liked him?”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sunghoon groaned. They could have been dating this whole time, officially instead of unlabelled and secretly. Sunghoon was going to hit someone, though he hadn’t decided who quite yet.
“What? I told you, I knew you liked him, so I couldn’t just—” Sunghoon didn’t let him finish because it was too much for him. There had been too many emotions in one day and he couldn’t keep dealing with it.
In the end, they didn’t even go shopping. Sunghoon ended up calling Heeseung and they had their first official date as a couple for lunch, because Sunghoon was starving and Jay had only wanted to have that conversation with him. He’d thought Sunghoon would have been sad afterwards and need a distraction, but since that wasn’t necessary, he left as soon as Heeseung arrived. Unfortunately, he could only think about what they had done the previous night even if he hadn’t been witness to any of it.
Explaining the whole situation to Heeseung was partly frustrating and partly hilarious. It gave a new perspective to many of Jay’s comments over the past months when they had already been together. Kind of, at least. Heeseung seemed relieved by the revelation, for the most part, and slightly offended Jay would ever think he’d intentionally play around with someone. He was very serious when it came to his relationships. Sunghoon could attest to that.
Maybe, that night he ended back in Heeseung’s bed. Without having to worry about Jay, they felt a lot freer to do whatever they wanted to. That might have ended with Jay actually being witness to them making out against Heeseung’s room’s door and promptly leaving the flat in its entirety. Neither cared, Jay would probably end up walking in on worse things eventually.