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Shane is coming back from a lunch meeting with some other marine biologists who work with him when he’s stopped in his tracks in front of the largest tank the Ottawa Aquarium features. Inside of the tank swim a colorful array of fish, most of which Shane can name if he really wants to, as well as some smaller sharks and even some manta rays, which always wow the crowds.
But what’s brought Shane to a complete halt isn’t the rays or the schools of fish darting in and out of the carefully constructed, human-made coral reef – it’s the man suspended in the water, fin flicking lazily to keep him upright as he waves to a group of children gathered in front of the glass. A string of pearlescent bubbles dart from between his lips as he seems to laugh behind the glass, his golden locks creating a halo around his head. The man’s tail is magnificent, starting at a lighter green close to his hips, then slowly becoming more of a deep teal towards the bottom, closer to his fin. Golden brown spots dance like sunspots across the fake scales, and two smaller fins jut out from where his thighs must be. The main fin at the bottom of his feet is striped with that same golden brown, dancing out into spots, ending in finely detailed teal webbing.
If Shane didn’t know better and believed in the existence of mermaids, he’d swear this man was the real deal. Each scale on his silicone tail is carefully painted, and looks to be hand sculpted. The webbing of each of the five fins on the suit is fine and delicate, floating through the water and creating an ethereal effect. The man has even used make up to blend the scales into his hips, making a seamless line between his silicone tail and his skin. He’s even gone so far as to attach what Shane has to assume are silicone gills to his ribs which also flutter in the manmade current of the tank as he laughs and twirls for the children, then swims up to the surface and breaks for air.
Okay, maybe Shane has been standing here mesmerized. Whoops.
But, that is definitely the hottest man he’s ever seen. And he’s not sure if that’s because the man is objectively gorgeous or… is half fish. Can someone be sexually attracted to fish? Sure, Shane is a marine biologist, but that’s just wrong… right?
Shane can feel the flush creeping over his cheeks and he rushes off of the aquarium floor, ducking behind a staff only sign and running a hand anxiously through his already mussed hair as he heads down a long, beige hallway and into a small lab that contains multiple tanks, loads of little man-made tide pools, and plenty of microscopes to go around. His co-worker and best friend Hayden Pike has already slipped back into his lab coat, and gives Shane a look as he bursts through the door, face flushed, chest heaving.
“What the –” Hayden is cut off as Shane waves a hand and pushes his glasses further up his nose.
“What if I’m sexually attracted to fish?” Shane bites out hysterically.
Hayden raises one eyebrow. His hands are submerged up to the elbow in a tide pool and he clears his throat as he lets go of the little crab he’d been holding. “You wanna walk me through this one, bud?” Hayden asks as he removes his hands from the tank and wipes them off on a towel.
“There’s a mer…man? A man mermaid. In the big tank,” Shane says, breathless and wild with the adrenaline coursing through him from finally understanding what all of the other guys are talking about when they go on about the gorgeous girls they want to bang.
“Shane,” Hayden says slowly, “mermaids aren’t real. They can’t hurt you.”
“Oh my god I know. He’s just really hot, is the thing. The merman. The guy who is impersonating a merman!”
“Oh.” Hayden very obviously deflates in relief, and Shane scowls at him. “I was worried you were like, fantasizing about fish or something,” Hayden admits. Shane’s frown deepens as he steps next to the tank and peers in, then looks back at Hayden as he worries his lower lip between his teeth.
“I mean, the merman is really hot,” Shane whines. He lets his head fall into his hands and Hayden pats his back with a little chuckle.
“I don’t think a man who is not actually a fish but impersonates one counts as fantasizing about fish,” Hayden reassures him. “Unless like… fucking the fish half is the part that’s turning you on?” Hayden’s face is screwed up in obvious disgust, and Shane grimaces and very immediately shakes his head.
“No! No, it’s the human half I’m interested in,” Shane promises as he settles down from his prior panic and seats himself in a rolling chair. Liking a man he can deal with. He’s dated a few men in his lifetime, mainly because he’s only recently come to terms with his sexuality. He’s dated a few women also, and each one of those relationships were major flops.
As if she knew her ex was reminiscing on their failed relationship, Rose Landry pokes her head into the lab, features relaxing as she spots Shane and Hayden.
“You ran off quick,” She points at Shane as she stops by the tank Hayden is observing, hip cocking as her arms fold over her chest. “Did you see a ghost?”
“No,” Shane says, lip jutting out as he crosses his own arms and scoffs at Hayden, who already has his mouth open.
“More like a merman,” Hayden offers, ignoring Shane’s glare as he jots something down on a clipboard and turns back to his tide pool.
“Oh! You saw him?” Rose asks, enthusiasm lacing through her words. “I helped set up that program! I think it will be great for the kids. We’re going to do mermaid brunches and q&a’s, all kinds of things. I think it will really pull a crowd.”
“Well when your merman looks like that it will definitely pull a crowd,” Shane mumbles as he kicks at the floor with the toe of his gym shoe and slides his glasses back up his nose.
Head tilted, Rose looks at him, then her smile turns dangerous as she steps in closer to Shane. “He’s a really nice guy. His name is Ilya. I could give you his number if you –”
“No!” Shane swats at Rose’s hand where it’s nearly resting on his chair’s armrest. “That’s so weird, Rose. God. I’m trying to be normal about this.”
“Nothing about you is normal, Shane,” Rose points out as she rolls her eyes and turns back to Hayden. “Shane should take the hot merman on a date, shouldn’t he, Hayden?”
“Shane, take the hot merman on a date so Rose leaves us both alone,” Hayden says as he leans back over the tank and taps his pencil against his chin.
“Or! Even better. Meet me at the main tank tonight for evening feed and I’ll introduce you. He’ll be getting out of the tank around that time,” Rose interjects.
And Shane… honestly wants to agree to this. Because he really wants to meet Ilya, and the more he thinks about it, the harder he fixates on it, and –
Shane sighs. “Fine.”
Rose claps her hands, and Shane rolls his eyes.
“Five o’clock! Four hours from now! Don’t be late, Shane,” Rose calls as she leaves the lab, red hair swishing behind her.
“How does she manage to make that blue polo look so good?” Hayden grouses as the door swings shut behind Rose. Shane looks down at his own ugly, bright royal blue aquarium polo and shrugs.
“She doesn’t wear khakis, first of all,” Shane states, and Hayden looks down at his own khaki pants, then very obviously over at Shane’s khaki cargo shorts and gives a slight nod of concession.
“Fair point.”
The four hours between lunch and going to meet Rose for the dinner feeding drags. Maybe because there’s something Shane wants on the other end of these hours, and time is slowly turning each second like a delicate page, making Shane wriggle in anticipation. He can hardly focus on work he’s so worked up over this, and at one point he even shoots out of his chair and tells Hayden he needs fresh air, but instead of heading out back, he finds himself in front of the main tank, lurking at the back of a crowd of children, watching as the merman – Ilya – dances in the water.
There’s a natural beauty about Ilya as he moves, like he was born amongst the waves and knows how to navigate them without consciously trying. He twirls and flips, blows bubbles and forms hearts with his hands, and the children eat it up, enjoying the whimsy and mysticism of a merman amidst the natural fish. Shane finds himself staring, admiring Ilya’s lithe body, how the muscles of his torso bunch and stretch as he swims to the surface to breathe then dives back down and comes eye to eye with the children at the glass. He seems to have enchanted plenty of mothers, too, because they titter at the back of the room, watching the handsome man perform, eyes lustful and indulgent as they also admire.
Shane only stays out for a few minutes, then returns back to his work, which he does half-heartedly today. Not purposefully – he loves his job. He loves that the Ottawa Aquarium is a research hub despite being so far from the sea. He also loves the time he gets to spend on the floor of the aquarium, educating children and adults, teaching them about the beautiful life that thrives beneath the waters.
Not only does the aquarium have a massive salt water tank, but they also feature river and lake tanks as well, highlighting common fish that you might find in the Ottawa river, or the nearby Lake Huron. There’s plenty to learn at this aquarium, both about sea life and the native marine animals that dwell in and around Ottawa as well.
At 4:30, Hayden clears his throat. Shane hadn’t realized he’d been staring into space until then, and he shakes himself back to the present, smiling sheepishly at his friend as Hayden sheds his lab coat and grabs his wallet off of his desk.
“I’m getting outta here. You behave, ok?” It’s obvious Hayden is teasing, because they both know Shane is shit at flirting. Trying to misbehave? Shane can’t even imagine it.
“I’ll be on my best behaviour," Shane says with a little nervous chuckle. “Tell Jackie and the kids I say hey,” he adds as Hayden is heading to the door.
With a little wave, Hayden heads out, and Shane checks his phone, then his watch, then looks back at his computer screen, hoping maybe the minutes have ticked by in the time it took for him to shift his gaze.
But alas, it’s still only 4:32. So Shane reads some emails, replies to some things that need responses, then finally stands up from his chair, closes his laptop, and heads up to the top level of the aquarium, above the main tank. There’s still fifteen minutes to spare, but he can’t stare at his computer screen any longer.
As he works his way through staff hallways, Shane shoots Rose a teams message that he’s on his way. She gives him a little thumbs up, and as he arrives on the upper deck, he’s pleased to see Rose beat him, and is…
Crouching beside the tank, laughing, red hair shining, hazel eyes dancing, looking absolutely gorgeous as she talks to the even more gorgeous merman. Ilya. He has a name, Shane, he reminds himself.
Honestly, when Shane couldn’t love Rose, that was when he knew he was well and truly gay. She’s gorgeous and perfect, and he loves her, but he couldn’t fall in love with her, and that right there is the problem. Not that being gay is a problem. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t looked at men before. He had. All the time. In the checkout line at the grocery store, at the gym while he ran on the treadmill, even the occasional night Rose and Hayden managed to drag him out to a club on a Friday, he’d always stare at the men rather than his own girlfriend.
So, yeah. It was all uphill as soon as he just admitted it to himself, which he’d done, with Rose’s help of course.
There’s a soft splash, and Shane looks back to see Ilya sliding back into the tank. Shane’s heart sinks as he dives under the water, fin flipping up before it disappears. Maybe Rose told him Shane is interested and he isn’t gay so he doesn’t want to meet Shane. Seems plausible – just because he moonlights as a merman doesn’t put him on the queer spectrum. Shane approaches and Rose gives him a smug smile as she stands up and wipes her wet hands on her pants.
“Ilya says he’ll be right back,” She says offhandedly as she grabs a bucket of pellets and shakes it at Shane. He takes the bucket, setting it down beside his feet.
“What did you tell him?”
“About you?” She asks, quirking one eyebrow.
Shane’s eyes roll aggressively, because – “Yes! Of course about me, Jesus."
“Oh, nothing. Just that you’re interested in meeting him, and that you’ve got a big –”
“Okay! That’s enough of that!” Shane says, and as if on cue, Ilya’s head resurfaces above the water. He tosses his hair out of his face, then runs a hand through it as he swims over to the edge. Ilya lifts himself up, turning so he’s seated on the edge of the tank, fin still lazily trailing through the water.
“You must be Shane,” Ilya says, his words thick with an accent that Shane thinks is close to Russian. It rounds his words and sharpens them, makes them crisper somehow. His tail lazily flips through the water and the scales glisten and shimmer, and once again Shane is stunned by how good this costume is. Ilya must have paid a fortune.
“Uh, yes. Yeah, I’m Shane.” Wow, way to go, Shane thinks as he approaches and offers a hand. Ilya takes it, wrapping his wet digits around Shane’s and shaking once, and – oh. Oh. Despite having been underwater the past few hours Ilya’s skin is soft, and his grip is firm, and his hazel eyes meet Shane’s in a way that makes Shane wonder if Ilya can see into his soul.
“Ilya,” Ilya offers, and his grin is lazy and wide and gorgeous, something to rival the sun. Shane wants to bottle that up and take a swig from it every morning to revitalize himself. He wants to sustain himself on that smile alone, to wake up to it every morning and see it when he dreams at night.
Shit.
“Ilya, nice to meet you,” Shane stammers, and Rose snorts softly. Shane and Ilya both turn to look at her, Ilya inquisitively, Shane scoffing at her, and she huffs, rolls her eyes, and turns.
“I’m going to go grab the rays’ food. I’ll be back,” She calls over her shoulder before leaving the deck through a side door.
This might be even worse, though. Shane doesn’t know what to say, or what to do with his hands, or how to look at anything other than Ilya’s glorious pectorals that are glistening with tank water. All his brain can think about is how beautiful Ilya is, and it’s like a fog has descended, clouding his thoughts and hindering his mind.
“Rose said you wanted to meet me?” Ilya asks, guiding the conversation along, which Shane is appreciative of.
“Ah, yes. I heard about the program and –”
Ilya snorts and shakes his head. “I do not think you are interested in the program.”
Damn. He’s straightforward, if nothing else.
“I saw you in the tank earlier,” Shane admits, gulping down a breath and trying not to absolutely lose it. “And… you’re really hot?”
It’s more of a question than a statement, and Ilya’s grin is wide and genuine, his eyes meeting Shane’s as he leans on his hand on the deck, putting his face closer to Shane’s.
“You are not bad either, Shane,” Ilya teases as he bites his lower lip and unashamedly lets his own gaze trail down Shane’s body, then back up to meet his gaze again. “Do you want to take me to dinner tonight?” Ilya flips his tail lazily, splashing some water onto the deck and Shane’s shoes.
Shane, for what it’s worth, is shocked into silence. Ilya chuckles and looks up at him through long lashes, his gaze questioning, his head tilted to the side. “Well?”
“I – yeah. That would be great. Dinner would be great.”
“Good,” Ilya nods, as if that settles it, and points towards the door Rose went through. “Will you wait there so I can get out of this fin? I’m, ahh –” He waves and grins sheepishly. “No room for swim trunks in here.”
“Oh. Oh!” Shane nods and smacks a hand over his eyes, like Ilya had whipped his dick out right in front of him. Realizing this was useless, Shane took his hand off of his eyes, cheeks burning bright red as Ilya chuckles softly. “Yeah, I’ll give you some privacy,” Shane agrees as he turns and hurries back to the room Rose had entered.
Of course Rose is not preparing food for the rays, but is scrolling on her phone when Shane enters. Her head immediately shoots up and a wicked grin spreads across her lips.
“So?” She asks, poking Shane in the side as he comes to stand beside her. He heaves a sigh and lets his head drop into his hands.
“We’re going to dinner tonight,” he mumbles through his fingers.
“Shouldn’t you be happier about that?” Rose says, one brow arched.
And Shane is happy. But he’s also extremely nervous, because he hasn’t been on a date in… what? Months at this point? It’s been a damn long time. What if he’s absolutely terrible at it? What if he’s not enough for that gorgeous man? It would check out. Shane is boring and dull and everything in between.
“I’m happy, just… nervous, too, is all.”
Rose nudges at Shane’s wet shoe with the toe of her boot, and he looks up at her, lip caught between his teeth.
“Hey, you got this.” She offers him a little grin. “You’re hot, and you’re sweet and so smart, along with like twenty other amazing things I don’t have time to name. But I can text them all to you, if you want.”
“No, that’s ok,” Shane says with a little laugh. His fingers rake through his hair, and then there’s a little knock at the door.
“Is safe to come out, now, I think,” Ilya calls, and Rose wiggles her eyebrows at Shane before pulling the door open. There’s Ilya wearing basketball shorts and a t-shirt, flip flops and a backwards ballcap, grin on his face and hands in his pockets with a large bag slung over his shoulder, where Shane assumes his tail is now.
“You may feed the fish,” Ilya says to Rose, who salutes and heads back to the big silver buckets. She starts pouring pellets into the water, and Shane looks back to Ilya, who is staring at him again, head canted, eyes bright. “Where should I meet you for dinner tonight?” Ilya asks.
“Oh! I dunno, I’d have to look some places up, I mean I have favorites but we should go somewhere cool and fun, right?”
“Right,” Ilya agrees solemnly. “You have phone?” He asks, holding his hand out and wriggling his fingers. “Give.”
Shane unlocks his phone and hands it over, and Ilya taps away before handing it back to Shane.
“I have texted myself from your phone. We can meet tonight at 7, yes?”
If Shane wasn’t so into Ilya taking control, he might be a little offended at this boldness. But he likes that Ilya is doing the heavy lifting. Afterall, Shane’s brain can hardly keep up with Ilya let alone his own thoughts, and he thinks this is good. “Yeah, sure. Just text me where you want to meet.”
“Perfect.” Ilya flashes him a dazzling smile, and Shane is momentarily blinded. He blinks twice, then takes his phone back as Ilya presses it into his palm.
“I will see you tonight, Shane.” And the way his name rolls off of Ilya’s lips, the way Ilya’s sharp, poignant accent wraps around those syllables and makes Shane’s name his own is… wow.
Damn. Shane is so fucked.
It doesn’t take long for Ilya to text Shane a restaurant, and Shane spends the rest of his evening getting dressed in a moss green button down shirt and black slacks, then pacing his apartment, anxiety punching through him like a wrecking ball. He feels like every nerve is alight inside of him, hot and alive, burning his through his veins and tingling his skin. He’s excited, but he thinks maybe he’s bit off more than he can chew. What if Ilya is only being kind to him? What if, worse, Ilya gets to the date, realizes Shane is a fucking loser, and leaves halfway through? The ways Shane could be humiliated tonight are endless, and he hates that this is all his mind can focus on.
Because, there could be good, too. And he can see those happy scenarios like lights at the end of the anxiety tunnel, just out of reach but still a glimmer of hope.
Due to his anxiety, Shane arrives ten minutes early to the restaurant. He’s shown to a table, and he texts Ilya that he’s been seated already. It’s only a few minutes later that Ilya shows up, dressed in a black tank top tucked into brown slacks with a short sleeved, collared sweater open and loose. He looks amazing, of course, but Shane thinks Ilya could wear a potato sack and he’d still think it was the height of fashion on Ilya. Before he sits, Ilya greets Shane with a kiss to his cheek, then grins and settles across from Shane, his hands folded on the table, his foot tapping twice against Shane’s beneath the table.
“Good to see you again,” Ilya teases, and Shane knows he’s blushing, and hard.
“I’m really glad we could do this,” Shane blurts, being honest instead of trying to play it cool. That’s how he always gives himself away, so he’ll opt for honesty and his true self instead.
“Me too,” Ilya says, his tone quiet and sincere. “I hope it is not offensive to bring you to a seafood place,” Ilya teases. “I am not sure how much you like to eat fish since you, you know… care for them.”
For a moment Shane is quiet, his brain trying to catch up. Then he chuckles and shakes his head. “No, I like seafood. It doesn’t bother me to eat fish,” he says with a soft smile.
They both order drinks, a glass of wine for Shane and a dark beer for Ilya, and then they chat while they wait. The conversation flows easily between them, and Ilya seems to like Shane’s bouts of rambling and moments of oversharing. He tells Ilya about growing up in Ottawa because Ilya asked, and is happy to share about his parents who still live right down the street, his time in graduate school spent marine microbiology in California, and his excitement at getting the position with Ottawa Aquarium after graduation.
“But that’s so much about me,” Shane flushes as he sips his wine and gestures to Ilya. “What about you?”
“What about me?” Ilya asks, his eyebrow arching as he smirks over the rim of his beer glass.
“Well. For starters, where are you from?” Shane asks, arching a brow at Ilya and looking at him with open curiosity.
Ilya steeples his fingers and grins. “Sochi, Russia. Boring town, and that is why I moved to Canada. Which is almost as boring,” Ilya teases. His foot taps Shane’s under the table again, and shiver races down Shane’s spine at the thrill of the contact, even contact as minimal as this.
There’s something electric between him and Ilya, and it’s undeniable. It’s obvious in the way their gazes linger, how their fingers occasionally brush together as they reach for a glass or fiddle with the menu, the way their feet seem to keep tapping together like there’s magnets in the toes of their shoes. Shane isn’t usually a fucks on the first date kind of guy, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to get his hands on Ilya. Like, now.
They order their meals, lobster risotto for Shane and grilled salmon for Ilya, and go back to happily sharing details of their life together. Ilya admits to disliking his family greatly, and being happy to be far away from them. He misses being close to the sea, Shane notes, and he can’t help when the question slides out from his lips.
“If you love the ocean so much, why would you ever come to Ottawa?”
Ilya’s brows arch and he chuckles, then shrugs. “I have a friend here, Svetlana. We live together now. She came here for…” He trails off, wrist twisting his hand in a circle as he looks for the English words. “Furthering her education? She is in school. And she is the closest to family I have outside of my father and brother,” Ilya admits with a little shrug of his shoulders. His hand falls back onto the table, and boldly Shane reaches for it, lacing their fingers together, smoothing his thumb across Ilya’s palm.
“I’m glad you have a friend like her,” Shane offers, and Ilya nods in agreement.
“You will meet her, I am sure,” Ilya grins at Shane, and something warm and molten pools in the pit of his stomach. A deep, aching want melts through his stomach lining and yawns him open with a ferocious desire. And the idea of integrating into Ilya’s life, meeting his friends, being part of his routine… that makes Shane’s cheeks heat and his heart flutter with hope.
“I can’t wait,” Shane says, genuinely, as he squeezes Ilya’s fingers.
Their food arrives and they eat and answer more questions. Ilya has plenty of them – like what Shane’s favorite color is (blue) and why he went into marine biology (he’s always loved the sea, even if he didn’t grow up near it; it’s always fascinated him, and he’s always longed to know everything about its watery depths). There isn’t a dull moment, and they laugh and chat and smile at each other like they’ve never smiled in their lives before this moment. And maybe, Shane thinks, he hasn’t ever genuinely smiled, because the way Ilya makes his lips stretch into something larger than a grin is unlike anything he’s ever experienced.
When the waiter brings the bill, Shane reaches for it, beating Ilya by only a second. “Please. Let me,” Shane says as he puts his card down, and Ilya frowns but sighs.
“Fine. Only because you asked nicely,” Ilya teases, and there’s his foot again, tapping against Shane’s, despite the fact that their fingers are locked together again.
“Do you, uhm…” Shane clears his throat and takes a long sip of water, trying to find the courage to ask for what he wants. “Do you want to come back to mine? I live pretty close to here, and –”
“I would like that very much,” Ilya cuts him off, probably because he can sense Shane is close to rambling. Ilya’s smile is bright and wide and real, and Shane thinks he might be melting from its rays, so he just matches it with his own weak smile, relieved he’s not been rejected, but now worrying about a whole other set of problems like… does he even have condoms? Shit. He should have thought this through.
Once the bill is settled and they’ve finished their beverages, Shane directs Ilya to his car, and they both slide into the jeep, Ilya with a mild look of disgust.
“You drive a boring car,” Ilya states matter-of-factly, and Shane snorts.
“Not boring. Practical.” He loves his jeep – it gets him around, especially in the snow.
“Practical, boring, same difference,” Ilya says as he blows a little raspberry, tongue sticking out.
Startled, Shane lets out a small laugh. Then Ilya chuckles, and before Shane knows it, they’re both cackling, doubled over in their seats, clutching at their sides and each other’s hands across the middle console. It’s like they needed the weight lifted and Ilya broke the ice, and for that Shane is thankful.
“Well, do you want to come see my practical apartment, then?” Shane teases through the last of his chuckles, and Ilya leans back in the passenger seat and nods.
“Yes. Take me to your home, Shane,” Ilya says, very intentionally, like he picked each word with the most delicate care.
The drive is quick, and Ilya’s head bobs along to the music playing on the radio while Shane navigates them through the Ottawa streets and to his apartment. It’s not big, considering he’s not exactly rich, but he likes it enough, and it does the job it’s there to do. After parking, Shane leads Ilya, hand in hand, up a few flights of steps, and unlocks the door with a flourish.
“Tada!” Shane says as he pushes the door open, revealing a living room with a cream sectional, flat screen television, and plenty of bookshelves lining the walls, which are a soft, mossy green shade. A calico cat sleeps soundly on the couch, and lifts her head to see who has disturbed her, but when she sees Shane and a guest, she just yawns and curls back up into a ball, tail flicking lazily.
“That’s Bitsy,” Shane supplies as he points to the cat, and Ilya nods. “She’s not the most social, so forgive her manners.”
Ilya chuckles, and steps into the apartment, kicking his shoes off as he goes. “It is a nice place,” he offers, and Shane nods as nerves suddenly flood through him. It was fine when it was all abstract – Ilya might be in his space in theory, but he hadn’t actually been here, yet. Now that he’s here, taking up Shane’s space, fitting into Shane’s surroundings, he feels giddy and anxious all at once. His palms are starting to sweat, and Shane thinks he needs to busy himself or he’ll absolutely lose it.
“Do you want anything to drink?” Shane offers, voice cracking on the word ‘want,’ because there are many things Shane wants, none of which will come from his kitchen.
“I do not think so, no,” Ilya says as he inspects a piece of art hanging on Shane’s wall. It’s a watercolor painting of the shoreline, waves cresting, gulls circling overhead. It’s slightly abstract, but beautiful none-the-less. Shane hesitates, then Ilya turns around and grins at him, soft and easy, so genuine again.
“Come here,” Ilya instructs, and Shane doesn’t need to be told twice – he goes. He steps into Ilya’s waiting arms, and allows himself to be held. One of Ilya’s fingers tilts his chin up, and Shane’s breath hitches, caught like a butterfly in a net. Ilya’s lips are a breath away from his, and Shane can smell his cologne, and the soft scent of his laundry detergent, maybe? It’s something subtle and clean. Ilya hesitates, making Shane wait for it, and then their lips crash together, like the wave cresting onto the sand, like the tide being pulled in.
It’s magic, is what it is. It makes Shane’s stomach flip, makes his toes curl and his eyes flutter shut as he loses himself completely to the sensation of Ilya engulfing him. He wants to get lost in this current, to follow this feeling down, down, down into the depths until he can’t breathe and drowns in it. He wants Ilya to want him wildly and completely, because no one has ever wanted him like the ocean before, but Ilya does. The way Ilya’s fingertips brush against his cheeks, how his lips mold to Shane’s, how their hips align and their tongues dance together, it’s all so much, in the best way.
Shane pulls back and gulps in a breath, and in the depths of Ilya’s golden-green eyes dance excitement and desire. “Okay?” He asks, thumb pressing against Shane’s bottom lip, and Shane nods, taking in another deep breath.
“Very okay,” Shane mumbles, and Ilya laughs, a light, breathless laugh that makes Shane want to make him laugh again and again.
“Would you like to show me to your bedroom, then?” Ilya asks, one brow arching as his fingers hook through Shane’s belt loops and pull him in closer. Ilya presses another desperate, needy kiss to Shane’s lips, and Shane pulls away, nodding and nuzzle in against Ilya’s cheek before turning and grabbing for Ilya’s hand, leading them into his tidy bedroom with its queen sized bed covered in a blue duvet with plenty of throw pillows.
Ilya falls onto the bed spread eagle, and Shane laughs before climbing on top of him. He presses kisses along Ilya’s neck, up his jaw to his cheek, then he’s capturing Ilya’s lips again, humming happily against them.
Shane is all too happy to succumb to everything Ilya asks him for, after that. And despite it being their first night together they move as one, fluid and turbulent. Shane is more than eager to please Ilya, to make him feel happy, because Ilya is making him feel alive in a way he hasn’t felt in… well. Maybe ever, if he’s being honest with himself.
They stay awake well past midnight exploring each other’s bodies and sharing lustful kisses, whispering soft secrets into each other’s skin and finding ways to make one another moan in pleasure. It’s like a competition to see who can undo whom the fastest, and Ilya seems to be winning, because he has Shane panting and begging for more as Ilya fucks him slowly and sensually into the mattress.
After quite a few rounds, enough that Shane doesn’t know if he’ll ever get hard again, Shane falls back onto the pillows, spent and exhausted, sated and full of contentment. His fingers lazily trail up and down Ilya’s spine as Ilya’s fingers draw circles on Shane’s chest and torso, and they are quiet for a moment, finding the beauty in the aftershock of it all.
Shane doesn’t know when he falls asleep, but he knows that Ilya had been in his arms when it had happened. Now, it’s nearly 3:30 in the morning, and he shoots up in his bed, completely naked, all too aware of how empty his arms are and how cold the other side of his bed is.
“Ilya?” Shane croaks, his anxiety clawing its way up his throat. If Ilya left… he’s going to be devastated. He doesn’t think he can handle that rejection, of having some of the best sex of his life and then being ghosted in the middle of the night. But then he hears it – a splashing, the sound of the tap running in the bathroom, and the low rumble of Ilya’s voice caught up in a beautiful, mesmerizing song.
Relief floods through Shane, strong and visceral, and he stands, tugging on his boxers and padding down the hall to the bathroom doorway. He knocks softly, not wanting to startle Ilya, and the singing stops.
“Shane?” Ilya calls, and Shane rolls his eyes and chuckles.
“Who else would it be?” Shane asks, voice still thick with sleep.
There’s a beat of silence, then the low sound of Ilya chuckling. “Good point,” he says. “I just decided to take a bath. You have a nice tub,” Ilya says conversationally through the door.
“It is nice,” Shane agrees, and he leans against the door, fingers pressing against it. “Can I, uhh, come in?”
There’s another moment of silence, then a splashing sound, and some banging, and – it sounds like someone fell. Like Ilya fell.
“Are you ok?” Shane asks, and Ilya swears.
“Yes, I’m fine, just… maybe do not come in?” Ilya asks, his voice wavering and lacking its normal confidence. Shane hears the thunking sound again, and, worried Ilya has hurt himself, pushes the door open.
And what he sees is definitely not what Shane had been expecting. Because… why is Ilya wearing his fin? He hadn’t brought it on the date, so how had he gotten it into Shane’s bathroom?
Ilya’s green and golden scales dance in the dull household lights, and Shane absently finds himself thinking that even in this small space, Ilya looks gorgeous. That even when he’s confined to a small tub he’s glorious and golden, radiant and resplendent. But why does he have a fin?
Shane scratches at his head, looking Ilya up and down.
“Shane, I can explain,” Ilya says mildly, like they’re talking about the weather. And Shane’s mouth drops open like he’s going to speak, then flounders closed, then drops open again. Because… it can’t be real. Ilya can’t be a merman, because mermen don’t exist. Right? Right.
“Shane?” Ilya asks, ducking his head to look up at Shane. Shane, still shocked and surprised, drops the toilet lid and sits on it, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands.
“I think you might already have figured out what I am,” Ilya says, head tilting, golden curls dripping water onto his face. “But I can say it out loud, if you need me to.”
“I… can you just… I need a second, ok?” Shane asks, and his arms drop to his side, and his head drops into his lap so his forehead is now against his knees. The man he had just hooked up with not hours before is now in his bathtub. With a fin. A merman.
Ilya is a merman.
What the fuck?
Shane breathes deeply, trying to wrap his mind around it. Suddenly, he’s laughing. Hysterically. Because of course Ilya is a fucking merman. It’s just wild enough to be Shane’s life.
“Shane?” Ilya asks again, quietly. One of his hands reaches out from the tub, and he wraps his fingers around Shane’s wrist. Shane looks down and notes that between Ilya’s fingers is a fine webbing, thin as silk. Scales dot along his hands and down his arms, too, scales he’d missed earlier because he hadn’t been looking for them. Even Ilya’s hair is different – It’s still its gorgeous copper color, with rings of curls, but there’s a mildly seaweed green hue to it, almost as if it’s reflecting green light, but… there’s no green light in the bathroom. It’s all Ilya. His tail flips lazily as he rolls onto his stomach and rests his arms crossed on the edge of the bathtub, chin resting on his arms.
“It is real,” Ilya reassures Shane as his fluke flutters through the air.
“I… believe you. Shockingly. I mean… how is this real?” Shane asks, his voice edged up higher than it normally is. “How are merfolk real? And I had no idea. How…?” Shane lets his question trail as he sits up and rakes a hand through his hair. He slides off of the toilet and moves to sit beside the tub, taking Ilya’s hand in his, inspecting the webbing there, touching the soft scales as if to reassure himself it’s all real.
And Ilya, for what it’s worth, is a saint. His eyes just trail every movement of Shane’s hand as Shane touches each scale, runs up his arm, presses into his shoulders as if reassuring himself that Ilya is here and in his bathtub and this isn’t a figment of his imagination. Because Shane needs to feel him, needs to know that Ilya is real and solid and something Shane can still have. Because as startling as this is, it hasn’t deterred Shane. He still has feelings for this man, still wants to wake up next to him tomorrow, and maybe many more times in the weeks and months to come.
But his mind is still flopping like a fish out of water, trying to find reason here, trying to understand and wrap around what he sees. “Can I ask you some questions?” Shane asks, hesitantly, because he doesn’t want to startle Ilya away but he needs a few more answers before he can really believe this is happening.
“Of course,” Ilya rests his chin on the edge of the tub and waits patiently for Shane to go on.
Taking a deep breath, Shane thinks about which question is the most important to ask first. “How have we not… found you yet? I mean marine biologists have studied the ocean so deeply at this point, how are you all avoiding us?” Shane has read so many research papers and reports about findings hiding in the depths of the ocean, but not once have mermaids been mentioned. It’s hard to wrap his head around this reality, that merfolk exist and are seemingly hiding in plain sight.
“Our cities are not visible to the human eye,” Ilya says with a little shrug. “We’ve become very good at dodging you,” he admits with a little look of apology, like he knows it makes Shane’s heart ache that there are things out there he still doesn’t know about the ocean. Ilya’s hand comes up out of the water, dripping wet and glistening in the dim bathroom lights, and gently caresses Shane’s cheek. “Some things are better secrets. We are one of them,” Ilya offers him softly.
Biting his lip, Shane nods and leans into the gentle caress. He huffs out a soft breath and presses on with another question. “Did you… have to change tonight? Is that why you’re in my tub?” Shane asks carefully, trying to be casual but failing miserably. He wants to know everything, wants to learn every bit of lore about this new species that he can, but he also doesn’t want to invade Ilya’s privacy.
“No, we do not have to be in this form for any specific time period, as far as I am aware,” Ilya states. His hand falls from Shane’s cheek and he lazily flips his fin again. “It is just… a little uncomfortable, is all. Like an itch you cannot reach to scratch.” Ilya pauses and lets Shane’s brain catch up. “Your tub just looked so nice when I got up to use the bathroom… I could not resist,” he admits with a sheepish grin.
“Okay.” Shane breathes deeply, nods once, and leans his forehead against Ilya’s. “Okay,” he says again, nodding against Ilya’s forehead, and Ilya laughs, nervously.
“Good?” Ilya asks, and Shane breathes out and bites his lower lip.
“I mean. I’m shocked but… I’m okay. This is okay,” he reassures Ilya. “It’s just fucking insane, but it’s fine.”
Their eyes meet and they both laugh in relief, Ilya’s head falling to the side so his cheek rests on his arm, and Shane running his hand through his hair again.
“Do you want to know how?” Ilya asks, eyes twinkling with excitement.
“How what?” Shane asks as his head tilts to the side, and Ilya bites his lip.
“How I transform,” he offers, and Shane nods. “It just takes salt water.”
“Oh,” Shane says, obviously expecting a grander reveal. He notices, then, the bag of epsom salts sitting out and chuckles. “You found my epsom salts, then,” he teases, and it’s Ilya’s turn to nod.
“So, just touching salt water does it?” Shane asks.
“That is all it takes,” Ilya agrees.
“Can I… touch it?” Shane asks, biting on his lip. The scientist in him is taking over, and he has so many questions to ask Ilya, they could be up all night with it.
“Yes,” Ilya says, and he bends his tail so the shimmery fluke comes closer to Shane, who reaches out and touches the thin webbing of it. A shiver runs through both of them as he trails a hand down Ilya’s tail, going the same direction as the scales.
“This is… incredible, honestly. Do any other humans know?”
“I am sure they must,” Ilya says with a shrug. “But they are good at keeping secrets. We do not want to be found out and… abused,” Ilya says, a little frown curving his lips.
“Yeah, that makes sense,” Shane agrees, and Ilya rolls back over onto his back now, flapping his fin again. This time, he lets the water out of the tub and sighs.
“I should come to bed,” Ilya murmurs.
“Yes, you should. I was missing you,” Shane admits, and Ilya’s smile is soft and warm as he leans over to press a kiss to Shane’s cheek.
“Okay. Go back to bed, I will be in soon,” Ilya promises. Shane nods and stands, moving to the bathroom door. He stops in the doorway and turns back, curiosity written across his face.
“How do you… turn back?” Shane asks shyly, and Ilya laughs, head shaking.
“I have a feeling you will have plenty more questions for me?” Ilya asks with an arched brow.
“Well, naturally,” Shane says, like it’s a stupid question. He’s just been presented with the most intriguing scientific discovery, there’s no way he’s not going to ask questions about it.
“Okay. I will answer your questions, Shane, but right now I want to sleep. Go back to bed, I’ll be in soon.”
Shane huffs, but does as he’s told, heading back into his bedroom and curling up under the covers. He hears the shower running, then the sound of feet padding through the hallway. Ilya tucks himself under the covers then wraps around Shane, arms finding Shane’s waist, chin resting on Shane’s shoulder.
“I just needed to wash all of the salt water off and I changed back,” Ilya tells him, sleepily, the words huffed into Shane’s ear and making his hair ruffle.
Contented, Shane hums and wriggles back into Ilya’s embrace. He turns his head to press another kiss to Ilya’s cheek, then lets his head fall against the pillow.
“Also, you cannot tell anyone at work about this,” Ilya instructs as he stifles a yawn, and Shane lets out a little laugh.
“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”
The next day at work drags.
Not only is Shane exhausted, but he can’t stop thinking about Ilya, and the fact that they’re in the same building but can’t spend the whole day kissing because Shane has to be a fucking professional.
“Ugh.”
Across the room, Hayden swivels in his chair to face Shane. “That’s your third ‘ugh’ this hour, bud. Wanna tell me what’s going on?” His eyebrow arches and Shane scoffs at him, then chucks a pencil across the room.
“Nothing is going on. I just didn’t get much sleep is all.” It’s not a lie, it's just also not the whole truth.
“And would that be because of a very attractive merman you had dinner with last night?” Hayden asks, because they are thankfully the only ones currently in the lab. Shane’s scoff deepens, and he looks around just to check they really are the only people here.
“I… no! Maybe. Okay, yes, ugh!”
Hayden scoots his rolly chair across the room, arm raised for a high five. “Dude!” He cheers, and Shane’s cheeks flare with a blush as he unenthusiastically high fives his friend. “How was it?”
“Oh my god, Hayden,” Shane’s head falls into his hands in embarrassment, and Hayden pats his shoulder.
“Good, then. Good job, bud. Proud of you. You needed to get laid.”
Pushing his glasses up his nose, Shane looks over at Hayden pointedly.
“Too far?” Hayden asks, and Shane sighs.
“It’s fine. I just have to make it through the rest of this day and that’s fine,” Shane mumbles as he turns back to his computer.
“You know he’s out there right now, right?” Hayden gestures back towards the main tank and Shane rolls his eyes.
“I do know that, Hayd,” Shane says, and Hayden nods in an ‘of course you do’ way.
“Well, I can’t wait for you to bring him over to meet Jackie. She’s totally gonna flip.”
“Can you wait until we’ve gone on like, more than one date before telling your wife, maybe?” Shane asks with a little sigh. He loves Hayden and Jackie, dearly. They’re two of his closest friends, and he knows they want what is best for him. He also knows Jackie has been longing for Shane to partner up so they can go on double dates.
What would they say if they knew Ilya was actually a merman? Shane can’t even imagine the look that would be on Hayden’s face.
“Go back to work,” Shane pushes Hayden’s chair, rolling him away from Shane’s workspace. Hayden pouts as he rolls back to his own computer.
“Miss you already!” he calls, and Shane rolls his eyes but finds himself grinning at his friend’s stupidity.
“Miss you too, Hayd.”
Shane works until 4:30, then he moves out into the gallery space surrounding the main tank and just… observes Ilya as he entertains the children. He’s so natural in the water that Shane wonders how he missed the truth in the first place, but also – he’d been told all of his life that merfolk weren’t real, so why did he have reason to doubt that? Until the reason was a very attractive man in his bathtub, fin out, soaking in salt water.
That was a good reason to doubt, it would seem. Ilya continues swimming as the room clears out due to the aquarium closing. Shane stands and turns to leave, but hears a knocking and turns to see Ilya grinning and waving at him from behind the glass. Shane steps up to him and presses his hand against the glass, smiling widely as Ilya’s hand moves to cover his on the other side. A few bubbles burst from Ilya’s mouth as he laughs, a happy thing that can be read even between glass and water. Then Ilya does something even crazier – he gestures for Shane to come.
Head tilted in confusion, Shane meets Ilya’s eyes, which he rolls good naturedly, then points up towards the deck.
“Oh!” Shane laughs, ducking his head sheepishly, then nods. “Be there in a sec,” he calls, and Ilya nods in response.
It only takes Shane a few minutes to make his way behind the scenes and up to the deck that leads to the main tank. Ilya is sitting on the edge of the tank now, fin languidly moving through the water as he helps Rose disperse fish food. The fish approach and swim around Ilya’s tail, bobbing around it and looking for food.
When Rose sees Shane, she winks and grabs the empty buckets.
“Okay, boys, I’m heading out for the day. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Rose offers them both a smile, and Shane’s cheeks heat with a blush while Ilya waves to her, unaware of her undertone. Once she’s gone, Shane turns back to Ilya and smiles at him, sheepish and shy and completely unsure of where they stand today. Sure, he’d woken up in Ilya’s arms this morning. Of course they’d shared plenty of soft, tender kisses in the golden morning light, and had eaten breakfast together before Shane had to go to work and Ilya headed home to his apartment. In the quiet of the morning, the spark had still smoldered between them. In the mundane, they’d still found each other attractive, and had still wanted each other.
Crouching down, Shane brushes his hand in the water and watches as a ray swims by. Then he turns his attention back to Ilya, whose eyes he can feel on him. He smiles and leans in, and Ilya meets him halfway as they share a soft kiss.
“I’ve wanted to do that all day,” Shane admits with a low, throaty chuckle, and Ilya tugs at the collar of Shane’s blue polo teasingly.
“So you have been thinking about me?” Ilyea teases, and Shane only nods in earnest.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” Shane admits with a little laugh. “You are something else, Ilya,” he sighs, and Ilya smirks as he meets Shane's eyes.
“That is a good thing, I hope?”
“A very good thing,” Shane agrees. “Want to come back to my place tonight?”
There’s a beat of hesitation, and Shane’s heart sinks. But when Ilya turns to look at him again his smile is bright, and he threads his fingers through Shane’s as best he can with the webbing between them. “I want to come to your place as many nights as you will have me,” Ilya admits, and Shane’s heart flips in his chest, because he can’t imagine a world where he wouldn’t want Ilya.
“You might never go home, then,” Shane teases, and Ilya leans in to kiss his cheek.
“I’ll pack a bag, then,” Ilya laughs, and Shane nods.
Because somehow, even after one night, Shane knows this is something special. Not because of what Ilya is, but because of who he is. Ilya’s easy charm and his bold confidence have won Shane over, and he’s more than enamored with this merman who lives in Ottawa, the most unlikely place for him to be.
