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Mike was in town for Jane and Dustin's wedding.
He didn't didn't think he would feel happy for them but surprisingly he did.
He was almost 2 months sober. It was hard but everyday it got a little easier.
He looked around the party, overwhelmed.
Since when did they know this many people, anyways?
He saw Steve, Johnathan, Nancy and Robin catching up in the corner. He saw Max and Lucas dancing together in their own little world. He saw Eddie smoking outside, talking to Dustin.
He searched the crowd harder.
He was searching for Will.
When Mike found Will he was on the roof smoking a cigarette. Mike wondered when he started doing that. He paused for a moment and took Will in. He looked good, healthy. He was wearaing a navy blue suit. It was made of velvet and tailored perfectly.
“Hey” Mike said as he crawled onto the roof to join Will “Thought I might find you here.”
“I'm trying to quit” Will replied, motioning with the cigarette between his fingers.
“Yeah, you look like you're trying really hard.” Mike sat down next to Will
“Don't be shitty.” Will shot Mike a look. A beat of silence followed.
“I haven't seen you in a while. You doing okay?” Mike asked, unsure of what else to say
“Yeah, I'm doing okay.” Will replied casually “I mean, you know, okay.”
“Sure”
“i’m working on this middle-grade comic book series. I mean, who am I, Steve Englehart?”
Mike didn't know who that was.
“Who's Steve Englehart?”
“Yeah, good point.” Will takes a drag off his cigarette “What have you been up to?”
“Well, let's see, um, I've been getting into podcasts, went through a Sudoku phase, and, uh, oh, I'm in rehab, so…” Mike was almost done with his eight week program. He was terrified of what came next.
“Right. That's still happening?” Will looks at Mike, taking him in. Mike was wearing an ill fitting grey suit he had borrowed from Lucas that morning.
“Oh, it's very much happening.” Mike feels uncomfortable under Will's gaze, he starts fidgeting with his cuff links “I've also got a new book coming out.”
“Oh, yeah, an erotic romance novel, right?” Will raised his eyebrows
“I know what you're thinking, but…” Mike felt a little embarrassed
“You don't need to explain yourself to me.” Will shook his head and looked back up at the stars.
“I know you think I'm some kind of a sell-out,” Mike starts
“Don't tell me what I think” Will interjects
“but it wasn't like other opportunities were banging down my door…”
“I'm not arguing with you because of "Horny Unicorn"... and I'm not going to help you work through whatever you're trying to work through!” Will makes a motion with his hands “I just came out here to smoke. You came to me.”
“Because I wanted to talk to you.” Mike replied sheepishly
“About what? "The Horny Unicorn"?” Will looked annoyed
“No, about... I don't know.” Mike wasn't even sure what he was doing here “I just wanted to talk to you… I miss talking to you.”
another beat of silence.
“I wish I had my phone right now.” Will runs his hands over his face and into his hair
“Yeah, I know what you mean. I never know what to do with my hands at parties.” Mike waves his hands around.
“No, I wish I had my phone so I could play you the last voicemail you left me.” Will looks back at Mike “Did you remember that, that you left me a voicemail?”
“Oh.” Mike didn't remember that night at all
“I thought you were sober. You told me you were sober. And things were good in my life and I was thinking about my future, and then I woke up one morning and I had this voicemail.”
“Look, I-I wasn't in the…” Mike so desperately wanted to have a good excuse.
“You were happy on the voicemail.” Will cut him off “You sounded happy. Or lightly sardonic, or glibly nihilistic, or however you'd describe that thing you get that's the closest to the emotion normal people call happy.”
“I'm sorry…” Mike looked down at his hands, moving on to picking at his nails. He would probably regret this later.
“And you were clearly intoxicated, and you were talking about swimming in the quarry.
"'I'm going swimming,' you said. 'Since nothing matters anyway, and nobody cares about me, I might as well go to the quarry and go swimming, right?'"
“I'm so sorry.” Mike really wished he remembered any of this, he closed his eyes to hold back the tears.
"'Call me back if you don't want me to go swimming. Otherwise, I'm just gonna assume you don't care.'”
The silence wrenched Mike's gut.
“I thought you were dead.” He looked back at Will.
“For seven hours, I couldn't get in touch with anyone and I was sure you were dead,” Will looked down at the cigarette between his fingers
“and it was my fault for leaving you, for feeling good, for not worrying.” Will draws in a breath “When I left for New York, you promised me you were gonna be okay, but I made you promise me that. Was I selfish for believing you?”
“No.” Mike looked back at Will. The regret Mike felt was so immense he thought his heart was actually breaking.
“Why did you call me? You knew I was in New York.” Will asked, making direct eye contact. Mike's eyes darted away.
“I don't know. I was drunk and... and I was high. And I just... I wanted to talk to you.”
Mike really wasn't sure what to say. I'm in love with you and I have been since we were children? It seemed so besides the point now.
“When I found out you weren't dead, I was angry. I was relieved, but I was also angry that I'd given you that power over me. I was angry at you for a really long time.” Will sounded defeated
“Are you still angry at me?” Mike wasn't sure he wanted the answer.
“No.” Will said before adding “I don't know. What good has being angry at you ever done for me?”
“I'm sorry.”
“I wish I could have been the person you thought I was, the person who would save you.” Will looked back at Mike, softer this time. Sadder.
“That was never your job.” Mike shook his head, he needed Will to know that.
“Then why did you always make me feel like it was?” Will took another drag “I don't know, maybe it's everybody's job to save each other. I don't know. Anyway, I'm glad you're alive.”
“I am, too.” Mike says, surprised to find he actually means it “So, you're still in New York, then, or...?”
“When I got that voicemail,” Will continued, “my boyfriend at the time wanted me to move to Houston with him. I wanted to move with him.” a deep breath “But after you called, I got scared.”
“Oh, no.” Mike had dreaded something like that.
“I didn't trust myself. I was happy and I didn't trust that. So I stayed in New York. We tried to make it work long distance, but it was hard.” Will rubbed the back of his neck “Eventually, I just thought, 'This is stupid.'”
“So, what, you broke up with him?” Mike felt a twinge of hope followed immediately by guilt.
“No. I moved to Houston.”
“To be with your boyfriend at the time?”
“Yeah. Plus, the winters in New York are cold as shit, I don't know why anyone would build a city there. No wonder that crazy guy started that fire. I get it! I'm on Team Guy!” Will looked, for a brief moment, just like he used to when they were kids.
“But your boyfriend at the time, he's not your boyfriend anymore?” Mike was unable to let that detail go.
“He is not.” Will flashed his left hand. On his ring finger was a beautiful, delicate gold band.
“Wow.” Mike felt his hope dissipate.
“Yeah.” Will beamed, looking at the ring himself.
“How'd you learn how to trust it? The happiness?” Mike was trying figure this out for himself.
“I didn't.” Will concidered “But I trust him.”
“It's hard to imagine you in Houston.” Mike was trying but he couldn't conjure up an image.
“Oh, I'm like a totally different person now.”
“Are you?” Mike knew it was true, this Will he hardly recognized.
“No? Yes? I wear fewer jackets. I smile more. Sometimes I look back at my Hawkins years, and I think, 'Who was that person?'”
“Does he ever come back, that Will?” Mike missed that Will eever day.
“Sometimes. I felt him when I got back to Hawkins. I feel him now that I'm talking to you.” Will gives Mike a soft smile.
“But it's not you?”
“I mean, it's all me. I'd love to say, 'No, he's gone forever.' But I was terrified of coming back here for the wedding. Seeing Chance. Seeing you.”
“What'd you think was gonna happen?” Mike already knew what Will feared. Mike had been hoping for it.
“I don't know, I would spin out, start questioning everything, blow everything up.”
“But that didn't happen, did it?”
“No. That didn't happen.” Will shook his head slightly.
“But was part of you kinda hoping that it would?”
“Mm.” Will holds up his thumb and pointer close together.
“You ever miss the mess?” Mike did
“No, 'miss' is the wrong word.”
“Sorry, Mrs.”
Will chuckled “I'm glad I lived in Hawkins, but I'm not nostalgic for it. I'm glad I knew Chance, even though he's not in my life anymore.”
“Yeah?” Mike thought about it for a moment.
“I think there are people that help you become the person that you end up being, and you can be grateful for them even if they were never meant to be in your life forever.” Will thought for a moment before saying “I'm glad I knew you, too.”
“'Knew,' huh?” a pang of sadness hit Mike. He had seen this coming, but it didn't hurt any less.
“Mm.” Will returns his attention to his cigarette.
Mike forced out a laugh.
“Hey, wouldn't it be funny if this night was the last time we ever talked to each other?” Will didn't laugh “Um, anyway, I…”
“I need to tell you…” Will cuts in,
“No. You don't have to… You don't owe me anything.” Mike really didn't want an apology.
“No, I need to tell you: Thank you. And it's going to be okay. And I'm sorry. And... thank you.” Will flicks his cigarette butt off the roof and starts to stand up
“Wait.” Mike says quickly, not wanting Will to leave just yet.
“Why?” Will pleaded.
“I know. I know. But can I just tell you a funny story?” it was all Mike could think of to try and get him to sit back down.
“Sure.” Will replied “But it better be very funny.”
“I don't wanna lie to you,” Mike rubbed the back of his neck. “it's only kind of funny.”
Will sits back down and waits for Mike to start.
“So we have this movie night at the rehab, right? And we get to vote on what movies we wanna see. But of course the whole thing's rigged, because Big Andy's favorite movie is The Family Stone, so Big Andy gets his friends to vote for it every week, and so every week we watch The Family Stone.”
Will stoped him “Hold on, whose favorite movie is The Family Stone?”
“I mean, yeah, it's a fine movie…” Mike looked over at him grinning
“But every week?” Will questioned
“That's what I'm saying!” Mike was talking with his hands now “So, one day I'm like, 'If I see Luke Wilson teach Sarah Jessica Parker how to let her freak flag fly one more time, I'm gonna snap.'”
“I don't understand, is movie night mandatory?” Will asked
“No.”
“So why don't you just not go? Will grined wide at Mike.
“What am I, a philistine? I support the arts, sue me.” Mike grinned back.
Will holds his hands up defensively "Okay, sorry”
“But I know a guy who volunteers in the library, which is where they keep the DVDs,” Mike continued “so I make a deal with him. 'I'll give you my Jell-O for a month if The Family Stone goes missing.'”
Will shakes his head “I feel like this doesn't end well.”
“So, movie might comes around, time for another Christmas in Connecticut, but then, uh-oh, the DVD's gone, what do we do?” Mike looks over to make sure Will's still listening. Wills eyes are fixed on Mike.
“So Big Andy's getting really upset, and his guys are all riled, and then I go, 'Fellas, fellas, fellas! Why don't we watch Pieces of April this week?Change of pace. Patricia Clarkson's in it and...'”
“And?”
“Everyone starts to riot.”
“Oh, shit, really?”
“No. Worse. Big Andy falls in love with Pieces of April, so now we watch Pieces of April every week.” Mike finished with a defeated sigh.
“You kind of made your own bed on that one.” Will was smiling at him.
Mike half smiled back “Story of my life.”
“I'm sorry, that sounds awful.” Will chuckled again.
“Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? Life's a bitch and then you die,
“Sometimes.” Will considered “Sometimes life's a bitch and then you keep living.”
“Yeah.” Mike sat there for a moment, not having anything else to say but not wanting the moment to end
“But it's a nice night, huh?” Will asked as he turned his attention back to the stars.
“Yeah.” Mike had missed Will more than he had realized “This is nice.”
They both sat in silence and stared at the stars, soaking up the warm night.