Chapter Text
“So,” Ze starts, averting his gaze from the two individuals in front of him. “I have something important to announce.”
Ze was currently seated on Wakafante’s living room couch, with both Moe and Regect standing in front of him. The actual owner of the house was out- probably to go frolicking with Captain Dice slash Dantes Von Dirt slash stupid BITCH or whatever his name was-
Regardless, Ze had done the impossible- gather both Moe and Regect and make them stand still long enough for him to make a speech. And, disregarding that doing so was a feat in itself, he had also somehow gotten them to understand that he was being dead serious this time.
Not like he wasn't serious most of the time- but he was serious serious right now.
“So? Spit it out, buddyboy-”
“GIVE ME A MINUTE.” Ze interrupted Regect, looking up specifically to give him a mean glare before sucking in a large breath. The entity only gave him a judgmental side eye in return, his golden eye narrowing suspiciously, and Moe just honked questioningly, nudging Regect's side with her elbow to no avail.
Okay Ze, calm down. Just gather yourself together. Communication is key and is also not that hard- seriously Ze just lock in.
He's just gotta put his mind to it.
“So.” Ze restarted, huffing. “In a week, I'm gonna be offline for a bit. Like a good long bit- I actually have no idea when I'll be back- but I will be back.” He confessed.
Silence.
“...Okay?” Regect shrugged, his tail flicking and jingling his golden chains. “You're here, you're not here- toe-mae-toe, toe-mah-toe.” Moe elbowed him again- harder this time, and he hissed as she took his place.
“You'll be fine, right?” She honked, tilting her head and swaying side to side. “You're telling us ‘cuz it's something weird- some weird reason you're leaving, isn't it?”
Ze flushed. “What- no??” He sputtered defensively. “It's a totally normal reason- I'll just be gone for a while and I don't want you both to destroy the whole world while I'm gone!” Regect snickered at that, wiggling his claws menacingly.
“Ooo- world domination. Sure Ze, me and Moe will absolutely CONQUER your world and turn it into a single block of obsidian while you're away- thank you for the idea!” Regect teased, his tail wagging more prominently now. Ze’s glare deepened, and he stood up with clenched fists, but Moe put herself in between the two, waving her arms and honking loudly.
“Both of you STOP IT!! Nobody's destroying anything!” Moe insisted, a frown growing on her face. “Ze- have faith in us! And Regect- stop being annoying before Me, Myself, and I beat you up again.”
That shut Regect up pretty quick. It also calmed Ze's nerves slightly- because of course Moe would understand. Maybe he should place more trust in her- more than he already did, of course. Moe was very trustworthy.
Not Regect, though. He was about as predictable as the contents of his world- or, in other words, he was completely unpredictable and entirely stupid instead.
“Whatever, dude. Was that it?” Regect asked, tapping his foot on the floor and basically begging to leave. Moe also fell silent, tilting her head again, and Ze sighed, bringing a hand up to drag it exasperatedly down his face.
That was supposedly all. At least, it was all he'd decided to tell them- mostly because he didn't want to know how they'd react to the truth and the whole truth, and slightly because he knew that his true reasons could be used as an excuse in the totally impossible chance that he slipped away for good. Keeping this a secret was the sensible, logical choice.
That didn't make it feel any better. But they would find out sooner or later. It was fine.
“Yeah, dude. What- you expected some- some grandiose speech about love and friendship or something-?”
“Oh my god- so you just wasted our time- dude, c'mon, are you SERIOUS-”
“Uh- yes? That's why I sat you down for this, dumbass, why did you even-”
“YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE SITTING DOWN-!”
The front door slammed open, and Ze, Moe, and Regect all whipped around to watch as Wakafante strolled into the house with that stupid Captain Dice Von Dantes-Dirt fuck close on his heels. Or close on his arm- the pirate was practically hanging onto Wakafante like a purse.
Stupid gay pirate.
Wakafante flinched at the sight of the three of them gathered together, smiling and waving. “Oh, hey guys! I wasn't expecting to see you three here!”
“...We live here,” Regect replied dryly, and Ze resisted the urge to agree with him, offering only a soft nod at Regect's words.
Captain Dice blinked up from Wakafante's shoulders, staring openly and nervously into Ze's returned glare. Good, he should be nervous. Ze did not like him, and he deserved to know that.
“...Should we leave? You two look…occupied.” Moe honked questioningly. Wakafante looked between them and Captain Dice, before looking straight up at his ceiling for a straight 5 minutes in pure silence.
Captain Dice blinked at Ze. Then he blinked again. And again.
“...Alright. Yeah. I'm not doing this.” Ze muttered, standing up and snapping Wakafante out of his silent vigil. “Do you guys want to go fishing?”
Regect perked up. “Hell yeah, dude. I need to catch me some more pufferfish.” He said. Moe honked, edging closer to Ze, and Captain Dice tried to raise his hand in agreement, but Ze shot him a hellborn glare so fiery that it made him whimper in fear and shoot his hand back down to intertwine with Wakafante’s, gripping the wizard’s pale fingers tight. Ze would've laughed- but he refused to admit that any aspect of Dantes Von Dirt was funny at all, so he sighed instead.
“Fine. Just don't catch an Ender Dragon egg this time, Regect.”
“Noooo promises!”