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Dean brought a weight blanket a few years back. He brought it everywhere, on a hunt, a trip to the gas station, a store, hell he brought it to a grave sight once. And you may ask why. Well Dean doesn’t know why, doesn’t understand why every time he has his weighted blanket he becomes a toddler who doesn’t want to part with it. And maybe that’s where his crappy childhood comes in. Having nothing , no one and the blanket? It says will always stay so for Dean keeping the blanket on him is amazing, comfortable, safe.
But like everything good in Dean’s life it’s taken away. In rude, rude ways. This way? It was just dumb stupid.
It wasn’t a big deal he just left it in the bunker after they rushed off because Sam was being a bossy bitch and Dean… Dean was too focused on trying to get Castiel into the car that he forget the one thing that brought him comfort. Fuck.
When they pulled up to the motel Dean immediately went to grab his blanket ,”fuck…” he hissed quietly under his breath and he felt a weird knot in his chest appear, god he was a child, looking around the backseat and the back of the trunk Dean sighed, yeah he’d left it at the bunker , well at least it was safe, but was Dean? Dean needed that dumb fucking blanket he can’t sleep without the heavy weight, the pressure, the warmth. And Sam noticed his upset expression,”Dean?” He questioned tilting his head trying to read his face ,”you ok? You look annoyed? Upset?” Dean just frowned and looked at Sam as if he was a child.
Fuck he felt like a child. Not that he ever was one.
“I left my blanket at home…” Dean mumbled his voice hoarse from hours of driving in silence and a little because he wanted to cry. Sam looked at him confused ,”your weighted one?” He asked and Dena just nodded in response and Sam understood, Sam always carried Gabriel’s hoodie in his bag for comfort ,well not that he needed to as Gabriel would literally appear out of nowhere and hug him, but Dean? When it came to hugs he got scared, he’d back away, push away the warmth the safety, why? Cause it was safe.
Yeah John really ruined his boys.
“Dean I’m sure we can just buy a replacement? Or hey maybe I can lay on your back” sam teased trying to lighten deans mood but he didn’t he just stared with a frown , it was weird seeing him pouting ,”Dean c’mon , hey maybe you’ll have an excuse to cuddle Cas?” And that made Dean cheer up. A little. And speaking of castiel they both hadn’t noticed he was already in the motel room using his grace to clean and fix up the damages in the room.
The room smelled like ass, that’s all Dean could describe it, the paper was peeling and was that mold? The carpet was uncomfortable and thankfully to Cas the room was warmer ,softer , safer but… fuck dean felt like a kid with how much he missed that damn blanket. Lying on the now cleaner sheets of the bed closest to the door because he may as well keep watch if he knows he won’t be able to sleep that night.
Sam looked at Castiel.
Castiel looked at Sam.
Dean looked at the bed.
The angel sighed ,”Dean what’s the matter?” Castiel asked tilting his head in confusion,”nothing..” Dean mumbled pulling his knees close to his chest and Dean didn’t understand why he felt so…small? “Dean, honey” the pet name just rolled off Cas’ tongue so fucking smooth, warm, safe. And hey Cas would be a great stand by for his blanket ,”can we cuddle tonight?” Dean asked it sounded better than asking ‘hey Cas can you lay on my back and suffocate me so I’ll sleep better?’ So yeah and Dean kinda prayed that Cas would say yes ,”Dean, you don’t need to pray I’ll sleep with you.”
Both the brothers coughed and Dean went bright red ,”C-Cas that’s not! You can’t just say that… and for the record I prayed he’d say yes to cuddles not…”he glared at Sam who was snickering. And Dean just groaned he hated the word cuddles, holding each other in his head sounded better then cuddles and he wished he asked for Cas to hold him- wait no nope, not in front of Sam he should’ve just ask if Cas would like to sleep on the same bed. It wasn’t like it was unusual they were dating for crying out loud!
Dean frowned as he laid on his bed, he didn’t sleep with Cas often as when he tried to Cas would comment saying ‘I don’t sleep Dean.’ And that’d be the end of it cause Dean would feel embarrassed or upset to say anything. He’d pout and one time he even cried quietly into the sheets, like he’d let Sam hear him cry.
But to be fair Sam had heard him cry before, when they’re dad left for days on end, when he saw the big ass bruise on Dean’s cheek after an argument with their dad, when he got overheated in a case, when their dad did die, when Sam died, when Sam came back, when they killed yellow eyes, when… when Cas died, when he came back, when… to many , to many fucking times so many fucking times that Sam listened to Dean cry, in his sleep when he came back from hell and he was sobbing so hard he always threw up. In his fucking sleep.
And dam quite frankly never wanted to hear Dean cry again. Why? Cause when Dean cried it was the end of the world it was uncomfortable, upsetting and when he cried he sounded like a movie scene, y’know? Hiccuping, voice breaking with emotion, body shaking, everything. The whole works like an actor faking but he wasn’t, never did… it was crazy… uncomfortable, heart breaking.
So yeah Sam never wanted to hear his older brother cry.
“Dean” Sam’s voice echoed in the room ,”you need that weighted blanket don’t you?” Of course Sam noticed the blanket , of course he did and he wasn’t judging there was even a time, actually still in the same time where he wears a hoodie that Gabriel had worn before he left to heaven , not that he hasn’t been back yet. Dean looked at him ,his hands shaking ,”Sam I… yeah..” he frowned his face annoyed ,”fuck yeah I forgot my fucking blanket.” He hissed ,”and don’t treat me like a toddler I’ll be fine without-“ he was cut off but warm arms and suddenly two massive black wings that have wrapped around him.
“Holy shit Cas are those your…” Dean trailed off he hadn’t seen Cas’ wings since well he hadn’t seen them in a long, long time. Castiel’s wings are huge as big as the room and Dean was surprised they hadn’t broken anything ,well not that Dean could see or hear, the wings were wide big , fluffy, black, sexy. Wait huh? Ok yeah the way Cas looked with his wings was sexy and beautiful , memorable.
“Dean” Castiel’s voice was gruff, warm, soft, and it made Dean feel warm and fluffy maybe not as fluffy as his wings,”I don’t mind keeping you company..” he whispered into Dean’s ear and he physically shivering his breath catching “o-oh..”Dean whispered “ok…” his voice was shakey uncertain but… comforting.
After everyone got situated and comfortable in bed, Sam on one side of the room already asleep with his laptop on the end of his bed playing a movie Sam had been invested in later and was constantly watching in their free time, while Cas and Dean cuddled up on the other side of the room. Castiel’s wings were wrapped around Dean in a warm comforting way ,protective even. And Dean felt safe.
For once in his god damn life dean relaxed let Cas take control , not in a sexual way, Dean nuzzled his face into Cas’ neck and relaxed ,”thank you…” he whispered and Dean saying thank you? That may just have well been a marriage proposal ,”I love you too Dean…” Cas smiled into his hair, Dean shut his eyes and relaxed ,”don’t go… never go…” Dean hummed.
“Never…” Cas’ softer voice replied as Dean slowly dozed off into sleep.