Chapter Text
Sean realized too late that he wasn't a good brother to Daniel. At least before their father's death. He would become easily annoyed and blow up at his little brother for no reason except that Sean was an angsty teenager and Daniel – a spoiled little kid. He thought nothing of it; it was normal between siblings, and it's not like he ever truly hated his brother or was exceptionally cruel towards him. And if their life continued as it should have, Sean was sure that eventually they would come together once Daniel was older, and their bond would strengthen organically as time went on. However, that wasn't written in the stars. Not for them.
When Esteban died, it was as if Sean's whole existence was erased, as if everything their father did, everything he sacrificed, was for nothing. He did everything for them to have a bright future, and he was shot by a cop, all his efforts wiped by a tiny piece of steel, and with it, everything Sean knew vanished in an instant. He wasn't sure what followed; his instincts took over then, and he knew that no matter what, he needed to protect Daniel, to protect them both. So, he ran, with Daniel's unconscious, fragile body in his hands, leaving the bloodied, desecrated image of their dad behind.
After initial shock and panic subsided, Sean became almost indifferent. He knew they had to survive, and that was the only thing that mattered. He didn't dare think about anything beyond that. They walked and walked and walked until the road became nothing more than a gray, blurry line that hopefully led to their salvation. Daniel seemed to have a twisted recollection of what happened, and Sean couldn't bring himself to correct him, to let Dad die a second time.
Once they reached the wilderness, Sean could allow himself to relax if only a little, just enough to finally fill his lungs with fresh air and not choke on it. That night, they camped near a river, having found a fortunate shelter under a rock. They sat by the fire they managed to start together, and Sean drank two cans of beer since it was the only drink they had (because Sean had to try and be the cool one at a teenage party). Not too long after, Daniel curled up on the tarp and went to sleep, warmed up by the flames nearby. Sean sat for a bit more, staring at the fire and letting its mesmerizing dance consume his attention. Once his eyes couldn't stay open any longer, he lay down by Daniel's side and shut his eyes, praying that tonight, nightmares would not haunt him. He was almost asleep when he felt Daniel stir beside him.
"Dad? N–No–No, please, don’t–!"
Sean turned around at the sound of his brother's scared whimpers and lightly shook Daniel.
"Daniel? Shh, it's just a nightmare."
Daniel was startled awake, and it took a few moments for him to familiarize himself with his surroundings. He looked at Sean for direction, for reassurance, and Sean inched closer to settle next to him, so that his hand hung around Daniel's side, and his body was close enough for them to share body heat.
"Sean? It's going to be okay, right?"
Sean sighed and hugged Daniel tighter, feeling him relax in his arms.
"Yes, enano. You're safe, I'm right here."
That seemed to be enough for Daniel to go back to sleep, his body going limp in Sean's hands. Sean tried to do the same but was distracted by the heat. Not from the campfire, but his little brother snuggled against him. It felt nice, especially on a cold night like this, especially when Sean had been touch-starved and grief-stricken for the last couple of days. To know that he still had Daniel, had family, had someone made Sean's chest tighten pleasantly. He pressed closer, searching for the heat but even more so for a reason to keep going. And as Sean's chin rested on Daniel's head, he thought that it had to be him. Even if Sean had no reason to fight, he had to. For Daniel.
The moment was wholesome, bonding between two brothers who drifted apart because of the growing pains of growing up. And then... it wasn't. Daniel stirred again, but this time not anxiously, but contentedly, pushing his body back and into Sean's embrace, undoubtedly unconsciously reaching for the warmth. And Sean smiled at how cute it was, but a moment later, he was horrified to realize that he was growing hard. Daniel's backside was pressed against Sean's crotch, and his teenage hormones and days spent without any chance of relief made themselves known. And Sean panicked. He didn't want to wake Daniel up, to worry him when he leaned away, the warmth that they both craved taken away in an instant. His brother deserved to feel protected, to be hugged and warmed up. On the other hand, however, surely it would be wrong not to move away, right? Even if it felt nice and it's not like Sean was going to do anything. He would never ever hurt Daniel. So, he decided, selfishly selflessly, and for the sake of not disturbing Daniel's sleep, to stay put. He willed his mind to sleep and hoped that when he woke up, his problem would resolve itself. And any thoughts that might have floated around in his sleep-deprived brain could easily be blamed on hormones. Or maybe on the fact that he was going insane from isolation and trauma. But would he be awake and conscious, Sean would never think of his little brother that way. He would never, he told himself.