Chapter Text
You can’t avoid this forever.
You knew what you were doing when you agreed to fill in for Lena while she takes a (much needed) break. You know he’s in there, or will be very soon, and you can handle this.
You take a deep breath as you stare up at the PTMC emergency sign glowing bright red in the ever-darkening night.
The only way out is through.
You go inside.
After getting your badge, you buzz yourself in through the all-too familiar doors. You nod to the posted security guard, and he nods back. You attach your new credentials to your Spider-man badge holder, and take a second to glance around the ED. It’s chaos, of course. Doctors and nurses and orderlies weave in and out of each other like bees in a hive. You spot their queen, Dana, at the main nurse’s station calling out orders and trying to contain the shift-change scatter.
You smile to yourself, and head for the breakroom first. You set your cargo, a pair of large brown paper bags, down on the teeny central table, and unload their contents. Bright pink confection boxes full of cupcakes. You crack the lid for one, and leave one note telling everyone to enjoy and one note telling everyone which box is gluten/dairy free. Then you roll up your sleeves, and meet Dana at the central nurse’s station.
The moment she sees you, a bright smile lights up her face.
“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” she says. “Come ‘ere.”
Dana wraps you in a hug, which you accept, squeezing her as tight as she squeezes you.
“How ya doin, Cupcake?” she asks after you both let go.
“Oh, you know me. Surviving,” you say.
The two of you share a look, and a knowing smile.
“It’s good to see you, D,” you say. And you mean it.
“Likewise,” she says.
“Speaking of cupcakes though, there are some in the breakroom.”
At least four nurses vacate the station and head for the breakroom. Dana gives them an exasperated look, and throws her hands up in surrender.
“Wait, there’s cupcakes?” you hear an unfamiliar, eager voice ask.
You pivot towards the voice, and see a young woman with dark hair, and dark eyes. She wears doctor’s scrubs and a purple jacket, and the tag on her name badge lists her as a med student. She looks up at Dana, eyes begging for permission.
“Get outta here,” Dana says.
The med student scampers off towards the breakroom, mentioning the cupcake news to a few others as she goes. You shake your head.
“Geeze, they start ‘em that young now?” you ask.
“Nah, that one’s just special,” Dana says. “Okay, let me catch you up to speed.”
“I’m all yours.”
Dana gives you the current rundown of patients and beds statues. She reminds you of all the different little changes that have occurred since you’ve been gone, and a few of the systems she has in place which you swear to her you’ll follow. She introduces you to the day shift staff as they flurry past, but waits till all of the night-shift nurse squad clocks-in to introduce you to them.
You give them all some variation of your story. You used to work here. You’ve been travelling. You’re back in town for family reasons, and are doing this as a favor to Lena. The group as a whole seems pretty chill, and you remain optimistic about their competence.
“Santos, hurry up and finish those charts,” Dana says to one of the nearby residents. “You need to hand-off your patients. Let’s keep this train moving.”
“Believe me, I want nothing more than to be free of this place,” Santos bites back. “But Ellis isn’t even here yet.”
“Shen is,” you reply. “Go find him.”
“Wittacker and Mel already called dibs on him,” she says, not looking up from the computer.
“That’s not how that works.”
Santos is about to reply when another doctor steps up to the station. Tall, black, and alert, she licks some stray blue icing off her fingers before speaking.
“Sorry I’m late,” she says. “There were cupcakes.”
“What? I want cupcakes,” Santos laments.
“Hand-offs first, cupcakes later,” Dana barks. “Ellis, this is your new charge nurse, Grace Ortiz. Grace, this is senior resident Doctor Parker Ellis.”
“Nice to meet you,” you say with a head nod.
“Welcome aboard,” Ellis replies with a smile.
“Yeah, good luck,” Santos snarks. “I can’t imagine wrangling Abbot is gonna be easy.”
“I can handle Jack,” you say. “Go worry about your patients.”
Ellis and Santos exchange glances as they grab iPads and start their walk-thru. You feel Dana’s eyes on you as you set up your work station. When you’re finished, you turn towards her and brace yourself for the inevitable.
“How’re you doing with that, by the way?” Dana asks.
You blow out a breath and post up next to her, crossing your arms as you both lean against the counter looking out at the ED.
“I’m good,” you respond. “Water under the bridge.”
“Didn’t know you could build bridges that big,” she says.
You snort. “I got creative.”
“Well…you didn’t hear me say this, but fuck ‘im.”
This time you laugh. Dana smiles.
“I’m glad you’re back, Cupcake,” she says.
You lean your head on her shoulder for a sec. “Me too.”
She kisses the top of your head. The moment is cut short because you have to do your job; directing a few of the different nurses and answering their questions. Dana stays put, smiling as she watches you. You have to leave the station to check with janitorial about restocking the blanket warmers for the night. After that’s squared away, you head back.
And that’s when you see him, strolling into the ED.
Doctor Jack Abbot.
The man who saved you. Loved you. Hurt you. The man you had to walk away from. The worst heartbreak of your life.
Your heart thumps in your chest as you look at him again for the first time in years. It’s just Jack. Older, now, but still Jack. Same eyes, same wry smile, same physique (which is entirely unfair). He’s got scruff now, and his short curly hair is shocked through with grey.
He looks good.
He looks…better.
Jack sees you and freezes mid-stride. He stares at you and doesn’t say anything. You read the shock on his face, the recognition, the grief, the shame. You let all of your own emotions wash over you in a rolling tide. You weren’t sure how this was going to go, but you didn’t expect yourself to feel half so calm.
“Hey, Jack,” you say.
He stares at you for another minute, oblivious to the rest of the world.
“So that was your name on the schedule,” Jack finally says.
“Yeah,” you say back.
His lips purse tight, and you brace for a fight out of reflex. But you aren’t met with one. He just continues speaking in a quiet, even tone.
“A heads up call woulda been nice…” he says.
“I don’t have your number,” you reply.
“It hasn’t changed.”
You shrug. You’re here now. He has to deal with it as much as you have to deal with it. Maybe you should feel bad for not warning him about filling-in for Lena, but there’s also a part of you that really doesn’t. You want him to be honest. You want you to be honest. Tipping him off felt like making too big of a deal out of what used to have been. And wasn’t this a chance to start over?
You decide to conclude the conversation. “I’m sure we’ll talk later,” you say, and head over to the station.
You see Dana out of the corner of your eye, but don’t engage. Instead, you grab one of the tablets from the waiting charging rack and start a loop of the ED, checking beds.
“Mateo, you’re with me,” you call out.
Mateo hops to his feet and follows after you.