Chapter Text
October.
Six weeks after they met.
Trinity Santos said it like it was nothing. Dropped a brutal read on Dennis Whitaker, barely glancing at him over the tajin rim of her spicy margarita. She was watching women's soccer on a TV mounted behind him, when she said it.
Drinking his own lime margarita on the rocks, no salt, Dennis had been staring into space, mentally rerunning his day, scanning for things he might have missed, making note of what he needed to remember, reminding himself what to follow up on next shift, thinking about Dr. Robby's hairy forearms, picturing his cute butt in those Carhartt's. Dennis's usual afterwork mental checklist.
"Saw you with Dr. Robby today. You've got a lil' competence kink there, Fuckleberry," Trinity told him.
"A what?" Dennis felt the tectonic plates of the earth move underneath him. Competence? Kink? He probably hadn't heard that right. He was loopy. Chips and salsa couldn't keep up with post shift adrenaline drop and an extra large marg.
The roommates were out at their favorite neighborhood Mexican restaurant. Cheap tacos as a reward for a 15 hour day. By some miracle, both Dennis and Trinity had the same day off the next day, so they'd ordered jumbo margaritas the second they sat down. Because neither had eaten anything in the last seven hours or so, the roommates were already a little drunk before the tacos arrived at their table.
"A com-pet-ence kink," she said again, over annunciating so he could hear her over the three TVs above the bar. "Somebody does something amazing around you and you're fine in the moment. In the flow, you're taking care of everyone. But then, when it's over? You just kinda stare and buffer for a minute, all horny like."
"Do not!" Dennis protested, exactly 15 seconds too late for it to sound plausible. Oh, shit, he did. "Wait. It's a kink?!"
She giggled at him, slightly meanly. Tipsy Trin was dangerous.
"Yeah, that's a kink. There are kinks for everything, my sweet summer Huckleberry," She leveled a frank look at him, one corner of her mouth quirked up, then pointed at him with her drink stirrer. "You, Dr. Dennis Whitaker, are into people who are good at stuff. You find knowledge, grace, and skill sexually arousing. You are into competent people, men mostly. Duh. Older men who are very good at their jobs, if fuckall else in their lives. It's a competence kink."
"Oh, shut up, Santos," Dennis said, turning his hot face away and gulping his drink, utterly embarrassed by how accurate her read on him was. Trinity Santos had easily seen and called out something private, something that until right this moment had been completely invisible to Dennis himself, but was now glaringly obvious. A competence kink. Fuck. How right she was. That was slightly infuriating. But he was used to it, Trin was often right and often infuriating. Never one to mind her own business.
"Aww, don't be shy. Admit it! It's fine," she cackled, went for some chips and salsa. Crunching, she said, "Adorable, really, Huck. Your ears are so red right now."
He felt feverish and conspicuous. Terribly seen. He tried to talk but couldn't. His face did something that was not a meep. He was not a person who meeped, no matter what his roommate said. To cover his speechlessness, he went for a chip.
Taking mercy on him, Santos patted his arm and dimmed her smug grin to something dreamy and conspiratorial. "Why do you think I noticed, Den? Me, too! Other than being beautiful as hell, Garcia is so fucking competent. So decisive, you know? It's smokin' hot."
"Yeah. Everyone in the ED is just so..." Dennis almost admitted. He kinda melted into a puddle instead of finishing the sentence.
"...so obscenely fuckin' competent? I knoooow, right?" Santos moaned, agreeing vehemently with the thought he didn't quite finish. Her dark eyes wide. "It's so hot."
"They're all just so good at everything," Dennis sighed.
"How about Joy and those fuckin' boundaries?" Trinity gestured with a tortilla chip for emphasis. "Like, teach me how to be a grown up, please! Mama! She's so sexy."
Helpless to deny it, Dennis could only agree. They were surrounded by incredibly brilliant, extremely attractive people. All day, every day. The worst and best part of the job.
"Night shift, especially though, right?" she waggled her eyebrows at him. "Dr. Ellis? Oh my God, Dennis, I would marry her tomorrow."
"Fucking hell, night shift," Dennis agreed, practically drooling. "Dr. Abbot's whole everything."
The margaritas were very strong. So was Dr. Shen's Dunkin iced coffee addiction. Dennis had never wanted to be a straw so much in his life, as the day he saw Shen completely at ease, working with a complex fracture on a complex patient. Sipping his Dunkin while calmly handling a 68 year old man who was having a bad trip on LSD and had jumped into an empty swimming pool. An unbothered Shen treating him with both kindness and technical skill, while the man swatted away hallucinations.
"Night shift. All of 'em," she nodded. "At the same time."
They laughed together.
Dennis's embarrassment died down for exactly two seconds, and then she said, "Are you ready to talk about what happened with Dr. Robby today? Because you were so-"
Dennis was, in fact, NOT ready to talk about the way he'd gotten a little starstruck when Dr. Robby pulled off an incredible, life saving procedure that afternoon. How Dennis had visibly swooned, when it was over and the patient was stable. Robby had congratulated him, thanked him for assisting well, given him a pat on the back. Breathless, Dennis had needed to sit down for a minute afterward. He could still feel where Robby's hand had landed on his shoulder blade, if he concentrated.
"-I don't know, Santos, are you ready to talk about Dana and your mommy issues? Is that a kink you would like to publicly discuss, right here?" Dennis interrupted her. To be fair, he had a slight crush on the amazingly competent Dana, too, but he was not about to admit it when he could embarrass Trinity about it.
Her mouth snapped shut. "Too far?"
"Too far," Dennis nodded.
Thank God, the tacos came to the table just then. The evening was starting to lean towards the brutal part of brutally honest. Product of spending all their time together.
They changed the subject.
.
.
.
.
It was a short, chilly walk back home to their apartment.
The roommates stood barefoot in their kitchen, scrounging for something sweet before heading to their separate rooms. Margaritas wearing off, they were hydrating.
Santos handed Dennis a glass of water. She huffed a semi-annoyed sigh, and said, "Sorry I teased you. You don't have to talk about your big, fat, embarrassing crush on Dr. Robby."
"Gee, thanks," Dennis said matching her tone, accepting the water and the half-assed apology.
"Don't have to talk about any of it," she continued, "Not your kinks. Or your crush on Dr. Abbot. Or the time he came in the ED in his S.W.A.T. uniform and you almost swallowed your tongue."
"Good. Because we are not talking about it." Dennis glared at her.
"Fine."
"Fine."
"I just want to say," she pushed, not leaving it alone as promised, naturally, "it's okay with me, if you're into Robby. He's old. So fuckin' old. And he's a man, so, that's gross. But you like him and I'm just saying, I get it. He's super competent. Even I think, Dr. Robby's hot. At work, anyway. You can admit it. And Abbot? Everyone is into those big ol' tit-"
"Oh my god, Trin." Dennis needed to lay his head down and rest his hot face on the kitchen counter for a full count of three. He moaned and held up a finger, asking her to pause. "Please."
She waited him out. Rustling through the cabinet for something that didn't require cooking to soak up her second spicy margarita.
And then, Dennis finally admitted the truth they were both fully aware of, out loud. "Fine. Robby is so incredibly hot, I think I'm going to die every time he looks at me. Abbot, too. Is that what you want to hear? Yes, I want my married attendings to crush me to death between them."
"While calling you a good boy, I'm guessing?" The ruthless queen of observation added. "Which is called a praise kink, by the way."
Dennis groaned in actual pain. That was embarrassingly accurate.
"Too far?" she asked, actually sounding slightly contrite this time, patted his shoulder awkwardly. She wasn't good at direct compassionate contact but she tried, for Dennis, occasionally. Pat pat pat.
"Way too far," he responded, in a tight voice. Then, without lifting his scorching forehead from the cool countertop, "If you tell anyone, I am going to murder you and use my medical knowledge to make it look like an accident."
"Your secret is safe with me, you adorable little late blooming pervert," Santos solemnly promised.
Then, she shook a box of cookies at him. Dennis lifted up his head, and took a handful. Chocolate chip. They ate the cookies in silence for a moment. Dry and slightly stale. Neither could be bothered to find something else.
She ruined the brief truce by saying, "Dennis has two Daddies."
"Please stop," Dennis used his only remaining weapon, sad eyes. He bit into a cookie and blinked at her pitifully.
"Not the big cow eyes, Nebraska!" she threw her arms up. "Fine, I'll stop."
And then, she actually did stop. Trin didn't even mention it the next day. They spent their whole shared day off in a companionable mood. Dennis studying. Trinity reading and working out. A giant pot of soup simmering on the stove to reheat for lunches all week.
.
.
.
.
Dr. Trinity Santos acted like she forgot all about the reveal of Dennis's competence kink, right up until it showed itself again three days later.
At work. Of course.
Jesse was the focus of it. He'd caught something Dennis had missed. The tall nurse's hands sure and steady. He'd reached over Dennis's shoulder and pointed. Redirected without causing embarrassment. Dennis's error acknowledged seamlessly. Jesse course corrected so smoothly, the patient hadn't sensed the almost-mistake.
"Thanks," Dennis said.
The silver haired nurse gave him a small smile. Jesse showed no judgement towards Dennis, all part of the job, catching and helping each other. They proceeded.
After. Dennis felt it. The Thing. The Competence Whatever. He refused to call it what it was, but none the less, he found himself stupidly crushing on Jesse.
He'd moved on to the next room, on to the next patient. There wasn't even a stutter in Dennis's productivity. But for the rest of the shift, he found himself scanning, noting where nurse Jesse was. Tracking the tall man with silver curls, goatee, and pale blue eyes. His long legs and nimble, long fingered hands.
Naturally, his roommate, best friend, and tormenter noticed it, too. They were both at the hub for a moment.
Jesse walked by.
Dennis tracked him.
Santos leaned over, voice low. "What'd he do?"
"What?" Dennis said, trying to go back to his charting.
"What did Jesse do that has you looking at him like that?" Trinity popped a piece of gum in her mouth and offered him one. "Was it the juggling?"
Jesse was known to juggle occasionally to distract scared kids.
"Shut. Up," Dennis whispered, taking the gum and popping it in his cheek. He added, to be nice, "Please."
"Jesse's really good at his job, huh?" she teased. "But, do you have time for another workplace crush on a silver fox? Isn't two Daddies enough?"
"I will do your laundry for a month if you never bring this up at work again," Dennis hissed back.
Santos whispered, "I heard Jesse and his wife are poly, so-"
"What are we whispering about today, kids?" Dr. Jack Abbot said, thirty minutes early for his shift and looming unexpectedly over the desk, into Dennis's business. He looked like he might've heard a word or two of that. Eyebrows raised, he calmly crossed his arms and waited for them to quit socializing on the clock.
Dennis absolutely did not think about Trinity's remark yesterday regarding Abbot's chest, though he was casually eye level with it at the moment. Chin up, he looked Abbot in the eye instead. Which was definitely worse. His cool expression all seeing but giving away little in response.
"Just getting back to it," Dennis said, jumping up.
"Atta boy," Abbot said with bone dry inflection. He did not smirk but somehow Dennis still felt the smirk on a spiritual level. He wasn't proud of it, but Dennis skedaddled.
The traitor, Trinity Santos had the nerve to laugh, then turned it into a cough when Abbot turned the look on her. Plotting revenge for this moment, Dennis hatched a plan to steal all the towels from the bathroom the next time Trin was in the shower. Leave her with a single washcloth to dry off with. The kind of prank his brothers used to play on him.
Dennis ran away from Abbot's praise and Trinity's excruciating observational skills. There should probably be a law to protect people from being looked at by Santos and Abbot at the same time. They made Dennis's skin feel sunburnt. Thank God, Joy wasn't scheduled for today. If all three of them gazed at him, all at the same time, Dennis's head would probably explode.
Of course, in his hurry to escape, he nearly ran straight into Dr. Robby, coming out of a huddle with Dana.
"Oh!" Dennis almost got a face full of navy blue fleece and a stethoscope to the eye.
They did a ridiculous little dance to avoid crashing into each other. Dennis teetered. Dr. Robby steadied Dennis with two large hands on his biceps.
Dr. Robby said, "Woah. Take it easy."
Dennis did not think about the strength in his attending's grip or how close they were to being pressed belly to belly.
"What'd I tell ya about running in the ED, Whitaker?" Dana looked over her reading glasses at him. "You tryin' to become a patient today? Everything is an emergency around here, so no running unless something or somebody is on fire."
"You good, Whitaker?" Dr. Robby cocked his head at him.
Dennis looked up into his concerned, dark brown eyes, way too close. He managed a nod. "Uh. Fine. Sorry, sir."
Robby released him and stepped away, striding off to help the next person.
Holding out a clipboard to Dennis, Dana was saying, "Images just came in on Mr. Miller in Trauma 3. That arm is nasty. Already called them to get an OR ready upstairs. Take a look, then go give the family your opinion."
And then, Dr. Whitaker was back on task. He made it through the last half hour of his shift without further embarrassment.
.
.
.
.
But.
Now that he was aware of them, Dennis could not escape his kink triggers.
As Autumn turned to Winter, he realized competent people were everywhere.
He noticed the blue haired barista at his favorite study spot, who made perfect cappuccino foam and could always handle tricky customers and coworkers alike, while keeping their sense of humor intact.
He noticed how incredibly mindful Dr. McKay was with the unhoused people she cared for during Street Team. The way she could get them to trust her.
He noticed the big brawny bear of a guy at the farmer's market who knew everything there was to know about vegetables and remembered every customer. Dennis knew from his past unhoused life that the farmer donated to the South Pittsburgh Food Bank. The man's combination of craft and compassion was very attractive.
Though he tried very hard not to, he noticed the skill involved in Abbot and Robby's relationship. How present they were with each other when their paths crossed at work. The constant appreciation and admiration they had for the other. Their open communication. The little things they did for the other one, bringing in a favorite food, a fresh coffee, or a clean change of scrubs. Most of all, Dennis noticed their nonstop flirting with each other. It took emotional competence to keep the spark so bright. Each little gruff quip he overheard between them stabbed Dennis in the heart. They weren't just good at their jobs, they were good with each other.
He was miserable.
Thanks to Santos naming it, everywhere he went, Dennis now noticed his attraction towards people who were excellent at what they did. An especially kind mother, watching after her young children playing in the park. A jogger on a trail with a well trained dog. A chef who made delicious food. Matteo, coming in with a joke, while pulling off a painless and quick blood draw. A talented dancer on TikTok. A married attending physician, deep in a flow state, busy saving a life.
On his days off from the hospital, he went out to Amy's farm, tried to work himself to exhaustion so he wouldn't think about it. Can't be horny if you're too sore to move. She needed a hand and he needed the extra money. He was putting in a fence before the ground froze, so Amy could get a small herd of goats. Without her husband to do the mowing, their acreage was waist high in weeds and saplings. The animals would keep the property clipped and provide goat's milk for soap and cheese come Spring. Goats were escape artists, so Dennis was engineering a decent fence for her. It was a good project. Made him feel useful and grounded. Amy's mother in law fed them supper and made Dennis take some cobbler or cake home to Trinity.
Finally, Dr. Whitaker decided on a treatment plan for himself. He needed to get laid, STAT. Before he popped an obvious erection at the wrong time. Or whimpered when someone told him he did a good job at work. Or flung himself at the feet of his attendings. Everyone around him was too fucking hot and too fucking amazing at everything. Dennis couldn't live like this.
He downloaded an app he hadn't used in two years and reopened his profile.