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“Welcome back, my little patient peonies!”
Caine’s voice was loud, and the sound felt grating against Pomni’s hypothetical eardrums. Her and the rest of the circus had just returned from a long, exhausting adventure in which they had to shoot paintballs at fishermen who were illegally fishing in the Great Lakes. The goal was to shoot enough paintballs at their boats to flip them, freeing the fish that were being loaded into the storage containers on the boats back into the lakes until all the boats were flipped, which took a lot of precision and effort.
As everyone made their way back through the portal, Pomni watched where everyone went. Zooble and Gangle made their way into the hallway, presumably heading to one of their rooms. Jax went the other way, plopping up onto a block in the corner of the checkered circus floors, watching everyone wordlessly. For someone who was always so eager to get into everyone’s business, he’s been oddly distant lately. Pomni pushed the thought away. She knew that trying to figure him out was pointless. He said it himself. Her mind circled back to the strange adventure she’d just returned from.
Caine’s adventures were always odd, but it seemed like they just kept getting weirder. She wasn’t nearly energized enough to think about that. All she knew now was that she was home, and that meant finding the nearest cushioned surface to plop onto and not move for the rest of the day. A familiar feminine voice broke Pomni’s train of thought right before she meant to start making her way to the sofa.
“Why are all these adventures always so wet??” Came Ragatha’s voice, laced with annoyance as she wrung out one of her hair pieces. Water pooled below it as she squeezed. “Can’t we have one where we’re just on land..?”
“I feel like the adventures have been strange lately,” said Pomni, attempting to start a conversation with Ragatha to hopefully make her forget about her discontent with her sopping state. “I know they always are, but… I’m not sure. They just keep getting stranger. It’s like he’s losing ideas and just piecing together whatever he can.”
Ragatha looked at the jester, sighing before she spoke. “Yeah… I don’t care how weird they are as long as there’s no water.” She smiled, and Pomni couldn’t hold in her giggle. “Fair. Do you wanna come sit on the sofa with me? I need to lie down.”
The ragdoll wordlessly agreed and followed her with a small smile towards the sofa. As they both sat, Pomni sighed in relief as she felt her body relax itself against the cushions. Almost mindlessly, she spoke to Ragatha, “You wanna know what I miss most about the real world?”
Ragatha blinked. “I’d imagine there’s a lot?” She scooted herself closer to the jester, lying back next to her. “Well, obviously. There are so many things I miss that I couldn’t possibly name them all. But I think one of the things I miss the most is weed. I miss being able to roll up after a hard day at work and let myself just unwind and enjoy the high. It was nice, just being able to slow down and not think as much.”
“You smoked in the real world?” There was genuine curiosity in her tone, but she looked a bit taken aback at Pomni’s confession. The jester just shrugged against the cushions. “Yeah, I had a medical card. I don’t think you technically need one; well at least where I was from, I think. But my doctor recommended it to me because of my anxiety. It helped to calm the racing thoughts, y’know?”
There was a comfortable silence between them, but Pomni decided to break it. “Have you ever smoked?”
“I tried one of my mom’s cigarettes when I was young, and it traumatized me,” Ragatha admitted. “I only tried cannabis once, in high school. Everyone made it out to be way scarier than it was, but when I tried it, it was really nice. The only reason I didn’t do it more was because… well.” She didn’t need to say it; Pomni already knew. Ragatha hadn’t talked much about her mother, but from what she could gather, they had a difficult relationship, if any relationship at all. Of course, she wanted Ragatha to open up, but she wouldn’t ever push her to. It would come out when she was ready.
“Y’know, I might have an idea,” Ragatha began. Her eye scanned her surroundings and locked onto Kinger’s pillow fort. “During the guns adventure… thing, Kinger conjured up this butterfly thing, and it was able to restore one of my hearts. Ever since then, I’ve been thinking… At first I thought he’s just crazy, and he’s been here the longest, so maybe he has some kind of knowledge that we don’t. But then I realized it was the same with you, and the exit door. It didn’t exist, but you wanted it to, so it did, even though it took you nowhere.”
Pomni nodded her head, gesturing for Ragatha to continue. “Sorry, I’m rambling. My point was, maybe we could figure out a way to conjure a little something to smoke?” Her head tilted to the side a bit with the question, and Pomni let herself get lost in thought. She’d never considered that, but it made so much sense - the exit wasn’t real, but she wanted it to be, so it sorta was? She wasn’t there for the butterfly, but if Kinger had the ability to conjure, so did the rest of them. She decided she’d give it a try.
She closed her eyes, letting herself channel her focus into picturing what she wanted - in this case, blunts. God, she hadn’t smoked a blunt since long before she even got to the Circus. She carefully clenched her hands together, hoping for the best, and slowly opened her eyes - well, she’ll be damned. Four perfectly rolled blunts sat in her palm expectantly. Oh, and they were fatties, too… this is perfect. She slipped three into her pocket and placed the other behind her ear, rising from the sofa with a soft grin and a grab of Ragatha’s hand. It was not lost on the jester how the other woman seemed to stutter at the contact, her pupil dilating a teeny bit. It wouldn’t have been noticeable had Pomni not been paying close attention to the woman in front of her. “C’mon.”
—
The two girls arrived at Pomni’s room after a few minutes of walking conversation. The jester pointedly did not mention that her conjuring had worked; she wanted to save that reaction for when they were safely in her room, away from any intrusion. She leaned her back against the door after Ragatha entered, letting the latch click into place before moving. She reached behind her ear and pulled out one of the blunts she had successfully conjured. Somehow, a lighter came out of there too - she didn’t remember making that, but hey, who was she to complain?
“Wait, when did you do that??” Ragatha asked, her eyes locked on the cylindrical roll and the lighter now resting in Pomni’s palms. An adorable mix of surprise and excitement was plastered across her face. Pomni ignored the question. “I’m sparking this, you want in?”
“Of course I do!” She replied with a grin. She gestured for Pomni to come sit on the bed as she plopped down onto it herself, and she did what she was told, making herself comfortable next to the ragdoll before lighting the blunt and bringing it to her lips once the cherry was sufficiently bright. She had missed this so much - the smell, the feeling of inhaling the calm. The feeling that followed. She couldn’t help but wonder if the effects would be the same, since it’s only digital.
Passing the blunt to the woman beside her, Pomni sighed as she began to let herself feel the familiar peace. So it did feel the same. She watched as Ragatha effortlessly pulled on the blunt, smoke spilling from her lips as she exhaled. Maybe it was the weed, but God, she was beautiful. No, she’d always thought that way. Maybe the weed just enhanced it.
Ragatha must have felt her staring, because she turned to her and passed the blunt back. “Was I taking too long? You were staring,” she said, a bit worriedly. “Not at all, I have three more and the newfound ability to make more whenever I please. Smoke as much as you want. I was staring because you’re pretty.”
That last bit wasn’t meant to be said out loud, and she wouldn’t have even realized she said it if it weren’t for the stark change in Ragatha’s expression. Her eye widened, and a blush creeped across her face. “Holy s&!% - I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that, I didn’t mean it in a weird way or anything-“
“Do you know how to do a blowback?” Ragatha uncharacteristically cut her off, pink still evident on her cheeks. She was smiling now, looking at Pomni with a gentle smile and a level of fondness she saved for when they were alone. She felt her heart flutter, but she pushed it down - Maybe this weed is just really good. But she couldn’t help but feel that there was a certain kindness reserved for Pomni, especially when they were alone together. And now that they were here, smoking together in the privacy of her bedroom, she couldn’t help but feel like this was intimate in its own way.
“Pomni?” Ragatha asked again. She realized she forgot to reply to her question. “Yeah, I do, why?” Ragatha’s eye lit up. “Wanna try doing one with me? It might be hard since we don’t have real bodies, but-“
“Yes.” Without another word, Pomni took a long, deep inhale of the blunt and leaned towards the ragdoll, who did the same. She blew the smoke into Ragatha’s mouth, who surprisingly took it all in without a trace of smoke wasted. They both inhaled the rest of the toke and exhaled, feeling the effects coursing through them both. “Where’d you learn to do that? I thought you’d only smoked once.”
“Well, I saw some friends doing it once and figured it didn’t look too hard. I was right,” Ragatha admitted with a soft giggle. “It really isn’t hard.” Pomni felt herself giggle as well, not knowing if it was from the weed or the other woman’s presence. It could really be both; equal chances, honestly. She looked up at Ragatha and smiled. “I’m glad we get to do this together,” she admitted. “I’m honored to be able to experience this with you. Thank you for giving me the idea to try to conjure these in the first place. I wouldn’t have ever even thought of that.”
Ragatha smiled kindly. “I’m glad it’s with you, too. You’re truly so amazing, Pomni. Ever since you showed up, I feel like you’ve showed me that through all this, we can still be real people, and feel real things - Not that I didn’t before, but it’s different with you. You’re different.”
“Different?”
“You have a certain vibe to you. I know I’m always nice to everyone and sometimes that pushes people away, but I feel like you’ve always seen through me. But not in a bad way. You see me.”
Pomni felt her heart flutter again, more profoundly this time. Harder to ignore. “I’m really glad you feel that way, Ragatha. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, you helped me through my first few weeks here, helped me adjust and get my bearings. You were always there for me, and through everything, I don’t think there’s a way for me to properly express how much I appreciate you for that.” She felt a smile tugging at her lips as she finished the sentence to take a puff of her blunt before passing it to Ragatha once more.
“I know a way,” she said, exhaling a puff of smoke as she talked. Pomni raised an eyebrow. “What do you-“
She was cut off by the other woman’s lips meeting her own, the blunt still burning in the other’s hand. She immediately let herself lean into it, allowing herself to drown in this wonderful feeling. Ragatha gratefully accepted this, and placed her free hand on Pomni’s back, pulling their bodies closer. She kissed her with such gentleness, fondness; but also a sense of hunger that felt strange but not unwelcome. They kissed for what felt like forever, both women losing themself within one another. Ragatha moved her hand up to the back of Pomni’s neck, deepening the kiss a bit and gaining a bit more control over her movement. After what felt like a blissful forever, Pomni reluctantly broke the kiss. Ragatha’s eye lingered on the other’s lips before moving back up to her eyes, then the blunt. They must have been kissing for a while, because about a quarter of the blunt was gone from just burning. A pile of ash sat on the sheet below where Ragatha held the blunt up. Her eye widened in panic once she realized what had just happened.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I should have asked your permission first!! I can’t believe I did that, just kissed you like that without even stopping to ask if you’d be okay with it first, I just always act so stupid around you, I’m sorry I’m like this, I don’t-“
“Ragatha. You realize I didn’t stop you when you kissed me. Right?” Pomni looked her in the eye, watching the anxiety leave the other woman’s expression, just a bit. “Yeah, but it was still foolish of me, I-“ Pomni cut her off again, this time with another kiss. She climbed into Ragatha’s lap, deepening it further. The jester ran her fingers gently over Ragatha’s cheek, then let them trail into her hair, scratching gently at her scalp while she kissed her. She felt the other woman relax almost immediately at the touch. She pulled away, but watched as Ragatha’s mouth hung open expectantly. She kept her position, maintaining the motions she was working on Ragatha’s hair. It seemed to help calm her nerves a bit.
Pomni spoke seriously, but her face was bright with a doting smile. “If I didn’t want this, I would have stopped you. You have nothing to worry about, I promise.”
She felt Ragatha lean against the hand in her hair, and lovingly pulled herself closer to the other. “Do you wanna finish this quick, and then we can just chill?” She asked, looking at Ragatha, who looked very stoned and very, very content. “Mmmhm,” was the reply she received, and she was handed back the blunt by the ragdoll. She took a few more tokes before passing it back, watching as the other woman did the same. Ragatha effortlessly put out the blunt against her finger, creating a slightly charred spot on her plush skin. Pomni wondered to herself if the woman had a high tolerance for pain; that looked like it would have hurt.
“Ragatha?” Pomni softly called, watching as the ragdoll immediately looked at her dotingly, giving her full attention. “I really, really love you.”
Her eye widened at the other’s confession - after the kiss, she’d come to expect some kind of question as to what they were now, but this wasn’t a question at all. She was clearly telling her she loved her. Ragatha smiled. “I love you too, Pomni.”
“I love you more.”
“Oh no, we are not doing this!!” Ragatha yelled playfully, tackling Pomni against the mattress in a fit of giggles. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and this circus. I mean it when I say that,” Ragatha admitted a bit bashfully, although there was an immeasurable level of love and fondness in her expression that was plain on display for Pomni. “Does that mean you’ll be my girlfriend?”
The question seemed to catch the ragdoll off guard, but she almost immediately smiled and nodded vigorously. “Yes, a million times yes.”
Pomni pulled her into an embrace, letting the other woman fall on top of her chest. The two stayed in comfortable silence for a while, until Ragatha spoke, “Hey, would you mind if I stay in here tonight?”
“Not at all.” Came Pomni’s reply, and she heard a grumble of appreciation from Ragatha. She felt herself dozing, and the other woman was already halfway asleep on top of her.
What a weird day, she thought. At least I got this out of it. She felt her eyes begin to close as the comforting embrace of sleep and her girlfriend began to overtake her.