Chapter Text
He was 4 when Agnes Digital beat TM Opera O, ending her absolute reign over the turn of the century. He already loved umamusume, his big sister was one after all. It was the words of Agnes Digital in her post-race interview, the way she spoke of how wonderful each umamusume was individually that cemented his awe of racers.
Having an uma for an older sister was definitely cool, but even at 8, he couldn't help but wish his parents paid a little more attention to him too. Everything Cactus Cat did elicited praise and support. Meanwhile, it seemed he wasn't quite able to make them happy. It didn't even make any sense, because the more he tried acting like Cactus, the more they seemed to ignore him. Obviously he couldn't run as well as she did, though he desperately wanted to. He tried wearing some of her old clothes and speaking like her. He worked hard to be like her. He thought he did a good job of it. Was it being an uma that was the key? It felt so unfair… He already wanted to be an uma so badly. Was that the one thing keeping him from Mother and Father's approval?
He was 13, and he was furious. Rage permeated his being, at all hours. His parents still heaped all their time and energy onto his sister… And for what? She hadn't even gotten into Tracen academy. He felt sick whenever he found himself thinking that way. How dare he? His sister loved him and was the only person in his life to tell him he was worth a damn. She was a fundamentally good person, who cared if she wasn't going to run in the Twinkle Series. He'd punched another boy at school for trying to make a big deal of it. Still though… Even though he was a teenager, practically a grownup, he wanted that thing making Cactus the favorite… His heart would not let go of that foolish desire.
He was 16. The anger that once roiled inside of him, like lava trapped deep in a volcano, now laid cold. His heart was obsidian glass, cold, brittle and black. He was empty now, hollowed out. He had no friends and had made no connections. Cactus Cat, his dear sister, was now off at college. The only thing left in him was the desire to run, to be free, to escape the pain in his life. He wanted to be her himself, her his true self. God, could he really keep going if this was how life always felt to live?
She was 17 and it was time. She'd tried to keep going. She'd tried to transition. It felt futile, the emptiness was ever present. She was empty, nothing inside, and even living as a girl wasn't enough to fill her up. She needed to run… Needed to get away… She wanted to understand what it was like to be filled with purpose. She wanted to know how it might feel to defy the expectations others had for her, like her sister had when she'd opted to not to race, even when she could have. She was unable to have any of those things. So it had to end. She would make one final plea, tonight, as she lay in bed. In a last ditch effort, she sent a desperate prayer to the only ones who could help her.
"Please, Please! Goddesses, I don't want to die, not really, but I don't think I can go another day! You're my last chance, I don't want to leave Cactus behind!"
She laid down in her bed, resigned. This was it. If the Goddesses didn't give her a sign, some indication her life could change, tomorrow would be her last day. Her eyes closed. Tomorrow. One way or another, tomorrow, things would be different.
The girl blinked awake, bright sunlight blinding her eyes, something pricking at her back… grass? The girl sat up, looking around, bewildered. She was in an endless field, the sky and the land both clear for as far as her eyes could see.
"My child, I welcome you."
The girl twisted around, startled to find a woman, an umamusume, standing by her side. The girl scrambled up, and took a step back. The woman was draped in grey robes, and a hood covered the upper part of her face, though brown ears poked through it. Her lips, stained a bright red, were perfectly visible. The woman continued,
"I must apologize to you, dear one. Your suffering is great, and you have been alone, struggling in the dark for too long."
The girl ducked her head, embarrassed, as she gained an inkling as to who the woman might be.
"It's not your fault, and really, I could've done so much more… I was so weak…"
The woman stepped forward and gripped her hands, causing her to look back up at the woman's cloaked face.
"My child, you were not weak, especially when it counted. It is my job to look after the lost and the lonely and set them on the right track. When things were most dire, you reached out, and I heard your cries."
The girl nodded, her breath hitching. The woman continued,
"I heard your cries, and I see your heart's desires: You wish to run, wish to show the world that you can beat the odds, wish to form a connection through the spirit of competition, just like all those other umamusume?"
The girl nodded once more, her throat closing up.
"Then run you shall. Go forth, and find yourself anew! Run! And be reborn!" The woman raised a sleeved arm and gestured behind the girl. She turned around, finding a forest and dirt path. She ran.
The girl gasped awake this time, body tingling all over, pins and needles like every part of her skin had blood return to it all at once after being pressed down too hard. Her tail brushed against the sheets, and her ears pricked.
…Her tail…and ears?
Holy fuck what was happening. She stumbled out of bed and towards the bathroom, barely noticing how the door slammed open so hard it nearly came off it's hinges. She tumbled into the bathroom, and once in front the mirror, she paused, dumbstruck by the sight in front of her. Her dream(?) flashed through her mind. Dream was probably the wrong word, if she thought about, which she absolutely had no ability to do right now. Right now, the emptiness in her chest was swiftly being replaced by overwhelming joy the longer she looked at her reflection.
Because holy shit, she was an umamusume now (and maybe kind of sort of a really cute one at that… more on that later). The joy blooming in her chest was soon accompanied by another new emotion: PANIC. Panic, because Holy Shit She Was An Umamusume What The Fuck? She felt her mind go blank, overwhelmed and when she felt aware again, she was back in her room, phone in hand, Cactus' contact info pulled up. She swallowed, still nervous, but hit dial. If anyone could help her right now, dependable older sister Cactus Cat was literally the best (read: only) bet.
"Hello lil' bro, what's good?" A twinge at the nickname, and relief because it was midterm season.
"Please don't hang up!" What the fuck her voice was so high pitched, she was practically squeaking oh god. "I know this will sound unbelievable, and also that I sound different, but it's me and something crazy happened and I need your help and-" Thank god Cactus was currently cutting her off.
"Woah, woah, woah! Slow down there Nelly, ok? Are you safe right now? You do sound different, that's true." The girl took a deep breath.
"I-I'm safe, but something crazy happened, and its good, but I literally can't think of who else I could get help from. This will sound like a joke, but when I woke up this morning, I'd turned into an umamusume."
A pause. The girl was now sweating profusely.
"Let's video call. That'll help me process this."
Cactus usually did have the best ideas between the two of them. The girl turned on the video and Cactus' green eyes, the same color as her own right eye, now, appeared on screen.
"Wow ok, yeah, you sure an uma huh? And that's definitely your same general face shape, just a whole lot cuter now." The girl blushed.
"CACTUS! This is so not the time!"
"Aw but look at you! You're adorable! And very orange. With those green ears you practically look like a carrot!" The girl's cheeks were positively burning now. Her following admonishment was the shrillest she'd ever sounded.
"CACTUS CAT! FOCUS! Please, I am about to freak the fuck out!"
Cactus, her asshole sister, laughed heartily at this.
"Ok, ok, yeah. Right, right. So you're an uma now, but that's good right? That's something you've been wanting for pretty much always right?"
"H-how do you-"
"Girl please, it was literally the most obvious thing about you, at least to me." The girl swallowed thickly, emotions surging. Cactus continued, "So listen, here's what we're gonna do: I can't come down to you right now, because I'm in the middle of midterms. But what I am going to do is call a friend I met in freshman year out here. She was on break from Tracen for a little bit, and we hit it off. She's now back at Tracen. She will come to the house and bring you to the school."
"Wait! Bring me to Tracen? Why?"
"Well duh, keep up slowpoke! You want to run, clearly, so we need to see if whatever the hell turned you into an umamusume also made you racing ready. Speaking of racing, you'll need a name to do that, got anything?"
The girl never dared consider what her umamusume name would be, too afraid it would hurt even more. Unbidden, a voice echoed in her mind. The woman from her vision whispered on the wind.
"Powerful Rabbit."