Chapter Text
A male omega was not rare. It was quite common.
At twelve Shane Hollander’s school had given the typical omega, alpha, beta talk.
When he was fourteen it was discovered that he was an omega. During his first heat he had developed a vagina. This happened to male omegas sometimes who wanted one. It was normal. They would keep their penis but also develop a vagina.
Omegas had already faced intense misogyny. Omegas were taught that they must keep their mating bite covered, to choose their mate specifically, and get a mating bite before birthing pups. It was all the omegas' responsibility. If one had gotten pregnant without a mating bite people looked at them differently.
When Shane had been a junior in college he met the one. The alpha he knew was going to mate him. He had been in his college accounting course. Shane knew accounting was a boring job but the organization gave him such a thrill and a level of peace he craved.
The alpha had swoopy blonde hair, beautiful big blue eyes, and was a charmer.
Dylan.
He lit up the class with his funny jokes and intelligence.
Shane had known he had liked men since he was sixteen and he was unafraid. But the alpha made him blush, even when he wasn’t talking to him.
Dylan noticed Shane halfway into the year when he had been late to class and had to take the seat next to Shane, which almost made Shane explode.Then he leaned over and in a very quiet voice asked.
“Hi, I am so sorry. Can I borrow a pencil?"
Shane quietly handed an extra pencil over.
Dylan must’ve noticed how Shane blushed because after class he asked if Shane was interested in getting dinner.
Their relationship moved fast; they spent their heats and ruts together. Shane had never felt like this before.
Their relationship was unconventional. Dylan didn’t want to claim Shane, never wanted him to make a nest. It was fine.
Dylan was just like that. He always told Shane he wasn’t ready to mark him. That past relationships had made him insecure and scared. Shane had preened at his soft alpha.
He never thought anything of Dylan avoiding the ceremony of the bite. He simply said he just wasn’t ready for that. That they weren’t at that point in their relationship.
Sure Dylan had licked and lightly grazed his mating mark but any time Shane preened for just a little more he had jumped back and it had ruined the mood. Shane knew better.
Knew Dylan wasn’t ready.
The pregnancy hadn’t really been a mistake or an accident. If anything it was on purpose. They had been together for two years and hadn't used protection for half of the second year. Dylan had said multiple times during sex that he would love to see Shane full with pups. That it would be his greatest achievement. That he would mark Shane then.
He didn’t.
When Shane had announced he was pregnant he could smell the anger on everyone who cared about him. So could Dylan. Dylan told Shane that he didn’t need his mom and dad in his pack anymore. They were going to have a pack and be mated. Shane was only allowed to see his parents very rarely. Shane didn’t need them if they were going to be critical about his pups. All he wanted was his pup. Very soon after they found out they were pregnant with twins.
Emi Colette and Elosie Yuna Anderson were born on October 23, 2020. Dylan had demanded they have his last name. He had told Shane if he didn’t give the girls his last name Elosie couldn’t have Yuna as her middle name. Shane had given in.
Dylan had not marked Shane.
He was there for the birth. There to watch Shane deliver not one but two baby girls had come home to the cottage where everything had smelt like Shane’s pack, the one he had always dreamed of.
Shane was ready for the mark and was going to bring it up any day now.
Two days after Emi and Elosie were born Shane had woken up and knew something was wrong. His house did not smell like his alpha, it smelt almost chemical. The loss of the scent disturbed him. Panic rose in his chest. Their pups were fast asleep in the bassinets that Shane had insisted be in their room. The worry for his pups was what made him not notice it right away. His nest that he had crafted perfectly and beautifully after the twins had been born was different. Dylan had contributed to the nest with clothes and other items but had never been in it. Never marked it with his scent. Now his things that had been placed so carefully were gone. Shane’s panic rose higher. Someone had destroyed his nest and Dylan was gone. His mating mark ached with the absence of his alpha’s mark.
Shane neglected to acknowledge the absence of his alpha and didn't want to feel the pain that was deep within him. He had two young pups who needed him.
Shane had been shirtless cradling one of his pups as she wailed and the other was crying in her high chair when his mom had stopped by. He had known it was his mom before she walked into the door of the cottage. Her familiar smell calmed his overwhelmed senses.
“Shane, where is Dylan?” she asked, her scent rising into anger.
Shane blinked at her. What was he supposed to say? Over and over his mom told him she had a bad feeling about Dylan. So had Hyaden, his best friend since grade school.
Hayden was an omega too and he had told Shane a million times that alphas were supposed to want their omegas to make a nest.
He had ignored everyone because he had been in love. He had trusted he was going to get marked by his alpha. Now he was gone. What was Shane supposed to say or do? His mother was going to tell him she told him so.
Shane wasn’t sure if it was the look on his face or his scent that gave Yuna her answer but he could smell her anger rise to ultimate levels. He was sure he was about to get yelled at. Instead, Yuna had grabbed Emi who was still wailing in his arms.
“I will call your father. Go shower” she had said.
That was it. Yuna Hollander simply went right into grandma mode.
Emi and Elosie were Shane’s everything. They were his pups. Shane would do anything to protect them. He knew that he would be the only parent in their life. No alpha would want someone else’s pups. No alpha would want Shane as their omega; he was tainted by Dylan’s abandonment. That was fine. Shane didn’t trust alphas anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Three Years Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shane Hollander was a no bullshit parent or at least he tried to be. Having two three year olds as a single parent was no joke. He was glad to have a rotation of babysitters who were part of his pack. He had learned in the last three years that a pack was not just blood or a romantic connection. Shane loved the pack he had created. Even if it really only consisted of three people.
Hayden and his wife Jackie had twin pups almost the same age as Emi and Elosie. It had taken Shane awhile to leave his pups with them. Jackie had made him anxious with her alpha scent. He hated when his children smelled of any alpha. Jackie was always understanding and wore her scent patches when she watched the girls.
When the twins were six months, his mother made him go to a parents group where he met one of his best friends, Rose Landry. She was no mother, she was a nanny and a struggling actor. She still babysitted from time to time but she started getting big roles when the twins turned one and now loved to spoil them with lavish gifts.
Shane’s parents however, were the main babysitters. It was only when they were busy that anyone else watched them.
He loved his daughters endlessly and he felt more settled when he was with his pups.
Currently he was trying to get the two tornadoes he birthed out the door for their dance lessons. Emi had her shoes but Elosie had lost one of her light up sneakers. Shane was in the process of digging under the shoe bench for it.
“Eloise, are you sure you need the light up sneakers?” Shane breathed.
“Papa, j'ai dit à Mlle Claire que je les lui montrerai aujourd'hui!” she cried in her adorable little french accent. (Daddy I told Miss Claire I would show her them today!)
God, he could not say no to her. He continued digging under the shoe bench. He told his girls several times to put their shoes on. To his shock and horror toddlers did not care about organization. After digging blindly for about twenty minutes, he grabbed his hand blindly on a tiny shoe. He sighed with relief.
“Okay Eloise c’mere my love,” he said.
Eloise had plopped down and wiggled her foot just as Emi burst into tears. Shane turned his head like a whip to his crying pup.
“Emi! Pourquoi tu pleures?” (Why are you crying?)
“Daddy, we are going to be late and Miss Clarie hates when we are late” she wailed.
Shane sighed. She was right and he hated to be late just as much. He turned his focus on Eloise who had somehow taken off her sock.
“Emi… Eloise no! How did you do that? you little rascal!” he asked and his daughter giggled.
Thankfully Eloise giggling made Emi stop crying and begin to giggle at her achievement. They always soothed each other.
Good, he thought. He wiggled Eloise’s sock and shoe back on and grabbed both of their little hands and led them to the car,Whose clock told him they were going to be extremely late.
Yuna had been the one to suggest an activity for the twins. She thought it could be good for them to have a place to put their energy and it gave Shane a little break for thirty minutes a week. He had originally said no. Shane did not like the idea of his daughters being in the care of someone else unless he thoroughly vetted them and they followed his rules. Yuna had called in a favor.
Miss Claire was one of her old friends and said that she would be more than happy to take the girls and listen to Shane’s rules. Shane really only had one rule. No alphas that weren’t approved by him near his daughters.
This rule was for him and them. He did not need some guy seeing two little girls with no real pack and taking them. This was maybe a little bit of an irrational thought but Shane trusted no one.
Shane pulled up to the dance studio supremely late and still had to take the twins out of their car seats. Once that was done he had to make sure both of them knew to hold onto his hand.
“Listen to me, mes chéries, we will hold daddy’s hand until we are in the building, oui?” he asked.
“Oui,” they answered in unison.
Of course they did hold onto his hands but pulled him the entire way. They entered the dance studio pulling him like a sleigh. Of course, Miss Claire was standing at the entrance to the studio with her arms crossed. God, he knew Miss Claire was doing him a solid here but he really didn’t like her.
“Emi, Eloise, hurry in, we are waiting,” she said sternly.
Eloise didn’t even have time to show her the damn shoes that had made them late. He was about to turn and head out the door when Miss Claire spoke again.
“Monsieur Hollander, this is the fifth time you have been late.”
God he could never get away. He cringed and turned back around
“I know I am sorry Eloise wanted to show you her light up shoes but she couldn’t find them then…”
But Miss Claire had cut him off with a harsh whisper.
“Monsieur Hollander, I know you do not have an alpha… but you need to learn how to control your pups.” with that she had shut the door to the studio behind her.
Shane’s blood boiled. He kept his pups safe, healthy, and happy. He did not need an alpha to control him or them. They were three they weren’t going to be better well behaved with a domineering personality in their lives. Plus he did not have children so he could control them. You did not control children, you managed them, you nurtured them, and you helped them grow.
Shane had every want to pull his pups out of class. As he looked through the window at his daughters with their black and blonde curls, and big smiles he didn’t have the heart to do that today. He also thanked whatever gods were available that his daughters looked like him, except for the curls.
He hated leaving the dance studio, especially today but it was the only time he could grocery shop in peace. As he pulled his car into the parking lot he saw it. A new parent was waved away from the side of their car by their partner as the partner pulled out two new car seats. Two brand new pups. With two loving parents who each sported a mark.
The grief of what happened to him didn’t hit him often. He was always so busy with the twins and work.
But here he was sobbing in the parking lot of a grocery store. For his younger self who didn’t have a loving alpha to swat his hand away and carry the car seats. For his pups who will never experience having another parent. His sobs turned into hiccups as he reflected on how so many people looked differently at his two perfect pups any time they found out their father wasn’t in their lives. Like they were dirty. Like something was wrong with his beautiful girls.
Every time he looked at his daughters with their freckles that matched his, their curly hair, and their beautiful eyes he remembered how they had looked when they were so small. When he had been so afraid.
Afraid he would resent his pups for having the traits of the alpha that left them.
Emi had dirty blonde hair that was basically a direct copy of her sperm donor and the way it curled was all him too. She had Shane’s eyes though, big and brown. Eloise had the curls too but her hair was jet black like Shane. Her eyes were blue just like his had been. Both the girls were covered in his freckles and had his smile and even if they had the traits of the alpha that left them they were all him.
And he loved them more than anyone else in this world.
When Emi and Eloise were six months old. Shane had been scared to leave them in a room alone. Any time he even went to the bathroom he felt scared they would disappear. His mother once had gently suggested maybe he was experiencing postpartum anxiety. Shane did not have time to have postpartum anxiety. This thought made him release a gut wrenching cry.
He knew he was failing his pups and knew he wasn’t as emotionally stable as he could be for them.
He tried so hard to show them what good emotional regulation looked like. Emi and Eloise often got overstimulated and any time that happened he wanted to keep them hidden from society. Shane was failing them; he had to try harder for them. He was all they had. All they would ever have.
Shane didn’t get groceries that day. The gnawing feeling in his chest was too much. He needed to smell his pups and scent them.
When he arrived the children had just been let out. Emi and Eloise had run into his arms. Oh his pups made him feel a thousand times better. His heart felt a little repaired. But of course Miss Claire was there.
“Emi, Eloise go wait in the playroom please,” she asked them.
The pups looked at their dad for permission and when he nodded they raced each other to the playroom. Just as they were out of earshot Claire started in on him.
“Monsieur, we have had this conversation many times about the lateness.”
“I know Madame. The twins are three, at that age where they are little tornadoes.” Shane tried.
“Monsieur, it would be a lot better if you had someone to help you manage the twins. For them,” she said.
“Thanks for the advice” Shane said dryly and before she could say anymore he walked away from the conversation.
The playroom wasn’t actually a playroom, it was the office where most billing was handled. If an adult needed to have a private conversation with a parent without children. The ballerina dolls that were in there made for a pretty decent distraction. Ann usually worked in the office, Claire’s younger sister and the one who handled all the billing.
Ann must’ve been just about to leave when Claire shoved the twins into the office because she had her coat on and she had looked pissed.
“Shane hurry my boyfriend is here” she demanded
“Sorry… oh fu… Eloise, where is your shoe?” he asked his daughter who was stranded one shoe on and the other magically missing from her foot.
“I gave it to Ann!” She said pointing to Ann.
Shane looked at Ann expectedly.
“She gave it to me for like a minute! I thought I gave it back!” Ann said.
“You lost a child’s light up shoe!” Shane said frustrated.
“No! It was just…” Ann huffed and threw her coat off.
Eloise and Emi were happily invested in whatever story they had made up for their dolls as Ann and Shane tore the office apart looking for the shoe.
“Are you sure you can’t just leave without it?” Ann asked, turning over her garbage can.
“Oh yeah you try making a toddler leave without their favorite shoe!” Shane said.
Whilst deep in looking a scent filled the room. It made the hairs on the back of Shane’s neck stand straight up. He knew that scent had to belong to an alpha. He looked frantically around for his girls. Still sat in the waiting chairs playing with dolls. When he turned to see who had entered, a man was standing in the employee exit.
“Ann I’ve been waiting for half an hour,” the voice said with no mirth.
This must be Ann’s boyfriend. Who was no doubt an alpha just by the way he smelled even through his scent patch. Ann stood alarmed, she knew about Shane’s rules and tried to push her boyfriend out.
“Ilya you have to leave! Mr. Hollander is weird about alphas,” she said.
“Thanks Ann,” Shane muttered.
Ilya, Shane assumed, huffed out a laugh and said something that made Shane freeze
“Babe, why do you have a children’s shoe in your back pocket?”
Eloise had pipped up then and said “That’s mine!”
That unfroze Shane immediately. He did not want his daughter near this alpha.
But Eloise, forever his stubborn child paid him no mind as he tried to scoop her in fact it was almost like she was avoiding his grasp. She walked right around to the entrance of the desk and looked at the huge alpha right in the eyes. One foot just in the princess sock she picked out this morning.
Ilya gazed back at her. She had her bright pink tutu on. She had told Shane Miss Claire was letting them take home before the big recital.
She flashed a bright smile at him. He dropped to her level and said “This is yours? It lights up!”
Eloise giggled. Shane was willing his body to move to go scoop up Eloise and maybe rip this alpha’s throat out.
“My daddy bought it for me,” Eloise said, pointing at Shane.
Then the alpha turned his eyes on Shane and all the color left his face. Shane willed his body to move then and he scooped up Eloise and the shoe.
“Stay away from her” he growled.
Omegas only growled when their pack was threatened; the girls had never heard their father growl before. They had heard him make chirping noises to call them back to him which is what he did now and Emi ran right over and clung to his legs.
“I am…” Ilya began
“No,” Shane said, holding a hand up.
Shane scooped Emi up and marched out of the office.