Chapter Text
Alistar stared at where the King was currently talking with Apokuna, the young girl had been training in Soluna for far longer than Alistar's mission had been even put into works; and yet unlike her, Alistar was almost at the top. And well the girl certainly had the spirit and ambition necessary to be a Moon Knight, but somehow she was not up to the King's standards just yet.
Meanwhile Alistar... Well, by the Gods! By now she was sitting on the same table as Moon Knight Lizzie, BigB and Etho, he sitted on the same table as the King too, because he shared a table with his most trusted Knights. All while young Apokuna still was on one of the lower ranks, though on her time here Alistar had started to realize that said fact may perhaps just be a deliberate choice the King did, for all as he was the asshole King of Soluna, he was sometimes kind, like Solunean tale always described him as… It was a side of him that Alistar was yet to see as totally true, but that with every day spent in here became harder to ignore.
He had been talking with Apokuna for a couple of minutes, and Alistar had even had one of his episodes already, so she wasn't really sure what the two were even talking about, having lost the thread of conversation a minute or so before. Eventually though the King seemed to finally finish his conversation and he came to be at his side once again, and as soon as he did he asked, sounding that worried tone of his that must be as fake as him.
“Alistar, are you alright? I saw you slump against the wall a bit ago, did you get dizzy again?” Because that was the lie Alistar had used for her condition before because if the King knew he was not as capable in battle then surely her climb to the top will we shortly stopped, her master had warned her as so when he had left the guild of how it could become a problem and it had been getting worse, but it was not like she could just tell the truth to her enemy! Gods knows what he will do with that!
“I'm alright, your majesty, I'm just still getting re-accustomed to the warmest of Soluna.” Because she was required to be Solunean to join the Moon Knights and as part of her backstory he had to say she was born and mostly raised in Soluna before she went to train to the far lands to be the Knight she is supposed to be now.
King Ren looked at her with pinched eyebrows, and his hand twitched on his sides, still he just breathed out and said. “Very well, are you sure you are alright to keep accompanying me for the rounds? I could ask Moon Knight Etho if she is available.”
Alistar couldn't allow that, she needed to become Hand of the King, she was not letting this stupid quirk of his get in the way of that opportunity, of letting her rise and complete her biggest job ever. And he knew that if she kept on pushing through it things would only get worse, her master had been hesitant to send him on this mission for that reason too, but Alistar was not one to step down from a challenge. Even less after how this will mean she will finally get to be the top of the chain, his dream ever since joining the guild.
So she lied through teeth and nail like he had since memory served right.
“I just needed a small rest, your majesty… How did things with Apokuna go?” The girl had walked off seemingly annoyed if her body language was anything to go by, but, well, Alistar still didn't know her all that well even if Alistar had trained enough with her to do.
King Ren huffed, before he turned to look back at where Apokuna had departed. He said, sounding rather somber. “As well as they could when I have been telling her to stop trying so hard because she cannot push their training to go faster than it should.”
Well Alistar could not make any comments on said matter, could she? Would call too much attention to her cover.
“Hmm.” Is what he settled in, and well, King Ren talked enough for both of them, talked enough to make it hard to fall into one of her episodes. And he hated the fact a lot, about how the asshole of a King that he was could help her be more in control.
When Alistar got back into a more conscious state the first thing it saw was Apokuna standing guard in front of her, the second thing it realized was the fact they were sitting… Somewhere, which a look around showed as one of the sofas in King Ren's study…
Why in the Gods' names…
“Apokuna, why am I here?” They asked standing up, her helmet was on the King's table, it had not left it there… “Where is the King?”
The teen looked rather annoyed as she brittle and said as they crossed their arms. “He had to leave for a meeting with the Vaelmyra Reef people, he didn't want to wake you up so he call me in to babysit you”
“I'm a grown ass woman,” Alistar answered back, and she did not miss the second of surprise that passed over Apokuna's face (And just why was she surprise? As far as it knew trans people were far more accepted in Soluna terrain than they were in Thornhelm). “Why would he even- I need to go find him.”
But the moment Alistar tried to get to the door, taking their helmet as they moved towards it, Apo walked to stand in her way. They looked nervous but even then she said, sounding as sure as any knight should. “King Ren asked for you to rest, he said you hadn't, uhm, do that thing for a hot second and you must need the rest, he took Moon Knight Lizzie with him”
“Why!?” This was bad, this meeting was important enough that Alistar was gonna use it to take back information about future strategies of Soluna and of how their attack plans were for the foreseeable future. They needed this, it was literally the whole reason for them being here!
Apokuna blinked at her before she said, sounding slightly confused. “I… Because King Ren cares for your well being?”
And what a stupid response that was, the King was a tyrant, an asshole who was responsible for all the bad in Thornhelm, and Alistar hated him with their whole heart, despised him for everything he did and had done. It was settled on that and not even the care he showed for her or some of his other subjects… Or his daughter would make her think differently.
She didn't tell any of that to Apokuna though, as far as Alistar knew she had been training to be a Moon Knight almost since they were thirteen, which was far too young! No child should be training at such an age! But that did mean Alistar knew she was more subjective to not seeing all the bad their King did.
“Will you stop me if I try to go to my room then?” They asked, hoping to fool her as soon as it was outside, but Apokuna was far more clever than Alistar gave her any credit to be.
“I will escort you, to see if King's Ren orders are followed as asked.”
And Alistar knew then that her afternoon was gonna be long. So fucking long.
“Your… Er- King Ren,” Alistar said as zer stared at the map in front of them both. “Are this… Records from Thornhelm?”
King Ren turned to them and he walked to be at zer side, after a second he said, sounding slightly thrown off. “They are not… Why do you ask?”
Alistar looked over the numbers, over the movement traced over their lands… It just- it didn't make any sense, why would so much money be moved to orphanages, to the merchants, to the poor? Why would King Ren of the Flame care about that? Why would he even keep any record of it? Why?
“I… I thought… Wouldn't the money be best used on more support for our tropes? For our mages?” Zer had no place to be suggesting this, even as liked as they were by the king by now, zer couldn't just be suggesting stuff to the King.
Yet they did.
“Hmm.” King Ren adjusted his glasses, his face not giving any tell of how he felt. “But that's where Thornhelm is wrong, is it not? Political power is necessary in war, to protect a kingdom you need power in numbers, armor…” His hand came to cover the east coast of Soluna where the bigger merchant metropolis was.
“But, what is a fire without fuel?” His hand moved to where Alistar remembered the Royal Orphanage was. “What need is there to roast a pork if there are no mouths to feed, not children to enjoy the filling?” Finally he moved over where the palace stands. “What is the sun without the Earth to give light to?”
They took a breath in out, the King’s words were metaphorical as he so much loved to talk like, and yet they hitted Alistar's heart deeper than any thorn that had ever breached their skin, than any other comment zer had ever heard while growing up.
Because Soluna was not a nation of fairness. Soluna burned everything under their reign, they oppressed the different, killed whoever talked against them. Witholded resources. Killed children who were not enough.
Soluna was the enemy, they were the dragon to be killed to allow the princess to leave the tower. But King Ren talked about it as if Soluna was not the dragon, as if the dragon had never even existed and as if they were rather the charming prince in golden armor.
As if… Soluna was the savior and not the oppressor.
And it didn't make any type of sense. Apo had tried to tell Alistar about the greatness of King Ren's reign, how amazing his deeds were and how every Moon Knight should be proud to be able to stand as close as they did to him. Both Moon Knight BigB and Moon Knight Lizzie had tried to talk to Alistar about how zer talked about certain aspects of Soluna, but they were wrong. Alistar knew better.
Because they had been born in Thornhelm, they had lived in the streets, they had to beg and fight for food every day and night.
Because zer had seen the worst of the worst before they were even eight.
Because Alistar had to choose between becoming a rogue or to die.
Zer couldn't be wrong. They couldn't. It… Couldn't be like this. It couldn't, it really couldn't. They refuse to believe that their Master could have fed zer lies through most of their life. Zer was better than that, they wouldn't fall for manipulative tactics when they used them almost every time for the last twenty years of zer life.
“Alistar? My good man, are you sleepy again?” Ren's voice breaks through, the voice of a tyrant who made sure to make time for his daughter every morning and night. “It's alright, I can wait.”
He… Alistar was not totally back, they could hear him but the thought of moving was harder than to pull out a broken arrow out of their left arm… It was… Zer closed their eyes…
And if when they later opened zer eyes to find the King sitting next to them as he scribbled some of the stuff that Alistar should be doing, they didn't dare to comment on it. To say anything about how much such a small comment had made them spiral.
And Alistar definitely didn't feel her heart pound in her chest when the King turned to her and said it was alright, that he understanded the sleeping episodes were out of their control but that such thing did not make her any less. He still asked for his aid planning for battles, still asked Alistar to be at his side during meetings.
Still looked at her as if she was the full moon in the sky.
As if they deserved to be looked at.
As if she was not the hidden thorn in a toy.
As if they didn't want to kill the King (did she still want that?).
And he still told them how he hoped to, by the next Eclipse festival, to officially Knight her, even though he had joined their ranks only a year or so ago. As if she was loyal to Soluna.
As if they weren't a silverfish in disguise.
Sleeping strangely enough did not come to them that night or the night after. And Alistar didn't dare to think much of it. It was no use… He had a mission to complete, a goal to hit and not even the small niceties that Ren showed it would change the fact…
It wouldn't. There was no reason to, she was loyal to the guild and the guild alone…
Right?
(But well, Alistar had always been a liar, had she not?)