Archive of Our Own

Discomfort was a natural part of the public transit experience. Whenever he needed to get on the main line for work, Ren had to practically squeeze himself on, along with the rest of the wageslaves. When he really thought about it, practically smashed against the doors of the subway, it already made his mental fortitude for the workday that much worse. How could anyone really start a day off right as people tried their best to mind their elbows, all the while, they were still impossibly in the way?

And Ren wasn’t nice, either. He was the type of person you met in public that would scoff or roll their eyes if you made a misstep. The type to complain aloud if you stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk rather than moving to the side, out of the way of traffic. Sure, he mumbled, but everyone still heard it.

He was an asshole and he didn’t really care. Shouldn’t other people take it upon themselves to be more cognizant of those around them? Part of the social contract is behaving in a way that makes you less of a bother, but no, he still had to deal with clueless tourists even in his commute to his shitty job. 

Okay, it wasn’t that bad, but complaining made things easier.

Usually the train ride was something simple– abysmal, but simple. Jam your way in, turn up the music in your headphones, and zone out until your stop comes. 

But today, it was anything but simple.

Maybe he should’ve seen it coming… First, he woke up late to his alarm, and then he forgot to wash the soap out of his hair before he got out of the shower. Third, he burnt his toast for breakfast and lastly… he wore his most uncomfortable pair of loafers.

Luck was not on his side in the slightest.

Still, since he was a person you could claim was over-prepared for scenarios like this, he still made his train on time.

He was in that blissful state of an uncaring, unfeeling void. He wasn’t even sure what song was playing when he felt a hand graze his hip.

He shrugged it off. It’s not like people meant to do these things when everyone was jostled together like this.

However, it kept happening. Ren could feel his stomach churning in a fit of rage as, for the third time, a hand smoothed up his hip. It was almost featherlight, barely noticeable until the sharp pinch at his waist. Ren could feel the way his skin prickled at the sensation, already somewhat overstimulated by the bodies rubbing against him as the subway shifted through the underground network of tunnels. Part of him wanted to lash out, but then again, he was unsure of whether it’d really been something malicious. It was weird, he knew that, but the hand withdrew as quickly as it’d come.

Ren swallowed around the lump that’d formed in his throat. Maybe he should be embarrassed for not saying anything? But how could he know? When he chanced a glance behind him, all he caught was a glimpse of silvery-blond hair and a suit like the rest of the people on this train.

He was willing to put the incident behind him until, a few minutes later, that touch returned. Maybe this person had felt emboldened by his lack of confrontation earlier… Whatever the reason, he couldn’t help but feel his blood practically billowing past his skin in anger. A big hand traveled from where his hip met his leg and slowly, almost cautiously, rubbed at the belt loop just beneath his blazer. 

At this point, Ren couldn’t pretend anymore. He looked around the car to see if anyone even noticed, but of course they didn’t. People were too engrossed in their phones or just trying to ignore life altogether. 

Despite the risk of drawing too much attention, Ren reached down and grabbed the wrist of the man touching him and practically threw it to the side. Even then, he noticed how the man’s skin was soft and supple. “Fucking ridiculous,” he muttered under his breath, trying to shake off the sensation that he’d been violated somehow. 

He knew the man at his back had been the one to do it, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn around and really give him a piece of his mind. Maybe it was too early in the morning, or perhaps he just didn’t want all the hubbub and attention. Whatever the case, Ren’s tense shoulders remained that way until the doors slid open at his stop. At that point, he was stretched so thin that he felt no qualms about shoving people away as he stepped through those heavy doors.

But when he looked back, his eyes found the face of a handsome young man. 

Their gazes seemed to lock onto one another then.

He had golden brown eyes and a head of silvery hair.

Just as Ren was about to turn away and let out an expletive of frustration, he watched as a smile curved on a pair of plump lips, as if goading Ren to stare some more.

But before he could react, those doors slid closed with a sing-song chime.

– 

The next morning he felt more put together. This time he was able to function like a normal person and even had time to butter his toast before eating it. Really, it was about the small wins once you got to a certain age. 

His skin still felt weird, though.

You know the sensation where you’ve touched a lot of things and it’s just this overwhelming feeling that your hands must be cleaned?

It was like that, except he couldn’t seem to scrub it off.

His hip felt strange, even as he tugged on his suit jacket and bent down to pull his shoes on. Ren wondered to himself as he stepped over the threshold whether that man would be there again today. He was sure he would’ve remembered someone with such a striking appearance if he’d seen them before, but nothing came to mind. 

As he descended the steps leading to the subway, the loud noises of the outside city air seemed to dull. Music echoed from a ways off; probably a busker trying to catch the early morning crowds. 

His mind kept returning to that maddening little grin. 

So it was on purpose. He was practically being challenged, too. Part of him was infuriated while another was fed up entirely. Was this really what a good-looking man spent his time doing? Touching unsuspecting men on the subway?

Ren’s heels clicked against the grimy floors as he made his way over to his line. Pins and needles raced up and down his body in… what? Anxiety? Anticipation? Maybe it was a mix of both. That churning sort of feeling that started in your stomach and ended up in your throat– That’s what he felt right then.

It didn’t take long for the train to come, wind rushing as it passed by in a flurry and slowed to a stop. Everyone seemed to crowd the doors as they opened, a chime accompanying them. Ren sighed inwardly and fought against the masses as he squeezed into place towards the middle of the car. Reaching out, he held onto the center pole as people flooded in around him, occupying any and all gaps that may have been open. 

Despite being on the lookout, he didn’t notice the mischievous man towards the back of the car who seemed to maneuver towards him. Ren heard people groan as someone pushed past them until his eyes fell upon the tall man approaching him. 

Was this guy serious? Ren felt his face redden in anger when he spied that easy smile. Their eyes met as the man sidled up next to him. “Good morning,” a voice with a rich, deep timbre said beside him. 

Ren scoffed and ignored him, looking away. Instead, he focused on some invisible point in the middle distance which happened to be an ad about bubble tea. 

Things would’ve been fine if their interaction had ended there, but of course it didn’t. Ren’s body was tense, just waiting for something to happen. The muscles in his back felt sore as his heart beat rapidly. 

For a few minutes nothing happened. But then, just as he suspected, fingers trailed up Ren’s ass before the guy’s hand curled around his side to rub at his hip. Ren couldn’t help but gasp at his audacity, but remained rod-straight. Just like before, Ren was quick to shove his hand away quietly, trying to maintain order but be firm. 

This asshole was a piece of work. 

Instead of listening, that hand hovered for a moment— maybe one inch above where it’d been kneading into the divot where Ren’s hip met his thigh. Before long, it settled on Ren’s waist. It was a consistent pressure that neither pushed nor pulled, but instead made Ren feel embarrassed. His ears were beet red, lips tugged downwards into a frown. 

Beside him, that man remained nonchalant, his other hand holding onto the middle pole right below Ren’s fist. 

Ren’s heart was threatening to jump out of his chest. What was he supposed to do? Physical violence? Make a scene? 

In the back of his mind he felt… Disgusted with himself. He almost liked the attention, almost liked the physical touch. He hadn’t been touched by another person in months, either because of his own boundaries or because of others' disinterest. 

In that sense it was like he betrayed himself. Shouldn’t he be revolted?

Resignedly, he acknowledged that this man was attractive. 

That thought came at the same time as the hand on his waist seemed to knead and slowly, so slowly, traveled down his back. Ren sucked in a breath as he felt his ass cupped before being gently squeezed. The body beside him was so warm and so close… The hand below his own on that pole extended a finger and teased Ren’s wrist. Shivers went up and down Ren’s spine and he tried so desperately to ignore the pulse of arousal in his gut.  

It was here he decided a line had been firmly crossed. Letting go of the pole, Ren very silently and very quickly elbowed the guy in the ribs. The action was firm and swift, and he made sure to dig into his flesh with the bone of his elbow as much as possible. 

Beside him was a muffled grunt as the man bent a little at the waist. Good. It had hurt. 

Around them, no one cared. No one paid attention. 

“Not a fan?” Came the whispered question with a hint of pain behind it. 

Ren turned his head and glared down at the slightly doubled-over idiot beside him. Here he finally took in the fact that this man was decked out in a finely tailored suit. He looked expensive. 

Probably some kid going for an interview…

Instead of answering the question, Ren sneered, “You’re disgusting.” 

He shuffled a step or so away from the man so dangerously close to him. 

But what caught Ren’s attention wasn’t because this guy had expressed some semblance of remorse, but rather the little laugh he let out as he straightened up once more. His smirk was self-assured and his eyes so hungry that it was almost unnerving. 

The little space Ren had reclaimed for himself was quickly taken up by that warm presence once again. Ren tried to look away, to ignore how the man leaned in a little closer to whisper smugly, “You didn’t seem to mind.” His breath was hot and tickled the shell of Ren’s ear. 

Before he could process the interaction, whether that be his next move or word, the overhead speaker announced Ren’s stop and the train came to a quick stop. Involuntarily did he stumble towards this freak, who gladly held onto Ren’s waist to steady him. 

Ren’s ears were red and, shoving the man away, he pushed his way through the crowd to step onto the train platform. 

Today he knew: He couldn’t look back. 

—

It was at work that the horrendous thought entered his mind. 

Was that man good in bed?

His fingers froze above his keyboard, his brain seemingly buffering through the ridiculous question. 

What the fuck was wrong with him?

It’d been a week and he still couldn’t get the feeling of that hand squeezing his ass out of his mind. Ren relaxed in his seat and recalled how his palm seemed to cup it, how long fingers hugged him through his slacks. He could feel his breath catch, thinking about how big his hands felt against his waist and back— Would he hold Ren’s body like that when he was fucking him?

Ren clutched his head, wanting to beat himself. What the fuck was he thinking about? Was he really that touch-starved? Fantasizing about the guy assaulting him on the train!? 

He groaned and hung his head between his hands. Some coworkers swiveled their heads to look at him but remained quiet all the same. He was acting weird but it wasn’t their problem as long as he got his work done. 

But how could he not fantasize? All he could think about was that hungry gaze, that deep voice. Maybe he really was too far-gone. It was over for him. Plus, he hadn’t seen the guy for a while now. Maybe it was a short-lived thing. 

As if satisfied with his reasoning, Ren nodded. 

He decided then that he absolutely needed to fuck somebody or else he might just accept anything thrown at him…

—

That weird man had seemed to disappear.

At least… for another week.

Ren was exhausted– another shitty workday and 22 rescheduled meetings later, he was free. He was very much the type to clock out at exactly 5 pm like his life depended on it. If he didn’t, he figured he would eventually combust and blow the train up. 

Still, that didn’t change the fact that exhaustion settled over his body as he half-jogged to the train platform, determined not to miss it. Today was particularly grueling… Colleagues not doing what they were supposed to do, being sent the wrong data sheets so everything had to be fixed (by him of course), and the whole rigmarole that came with middle management. Ren loosened his tie as he waited, debating whether he should listen to music in the meantime. Even that could be overstimulating at a critical juncture like this, though. He decided not to risk it.

The train rumbled along the tracks, the sound distant in the dark tunnel until it rushed past. With a slow halt did it stop in front of him and the rest of the going-home crowd. Ren’s eyes fell shut in sweet bliss– finally, he could go home. Maybe he would have some ice cream and lounge around with his cat. Something to ease the tension in his shoulders.

But when he passed through that threshold, he saw him.

A surprised, yet handsome face that seemed to bloom into a grin when he saw Ren.

For Fuck’s Sake.

Nothing was ever easy, was it? This was just his fate. “Unluckiest Man Ever” blinded passersby on a shining marquee, announcing his misfortune.

Ren’s shoulders fell as he let out a heavy sigh, not even trying to hide his dismay at seeing the finely tailored man. He, of course, tried to avoid him to no avail. Slowly did that motherfucker inch towards him, standing right behind him as he held the overhead loop above Ren’s head.

Again, that familiar warmth from before seemed to run up Ren’s back. His hands felt a little shaky as he held the little loop, trying to ignore how the man’s face seemed to lean just a bit closer before a hand settled on his waist. “You look tired,” he whispered, a smile obvious from his tone. “Long day?”

Long fingers stroked his side in a way that made Ren’s body shiver. He hated himself for it, hated how the touches seemed to pry away the weariness. Maybe it was the adrenaline, Ren reasoned. Maybe it was the rush from… from being violated so publicly. “Don’t touch me,” Ren bit out, but with none of the venom. 

His answer was nothing more than that hand slowly inching down his body until fingers snaked into Ren’s front pocket. He felt as teasing digits ran against the thin lining that sheltered Ren’s thigh and pulled back ever so slightly so that Ren could feel–

Ren’s eyes fell shut as he pursed his lips together. 

He could feel how hard this man was, pressed against his ass. 

God was this really happening to him?

He wanted to be angry. He wanted to cuss and fight, wanted to kill this man more than anything, but–

The other man’s hips slowly rolled against Ren’s ass, practically dryhumping him in the most discreet way someone could do on a train.

His heart was beating so fast he felt like he was going to throw up. It was the adrenaline, it had to be. The reason Ren closed his eyes and weakly submitted to the feeling was… 

Hah. 

He let out a heavy breath and reached behind to push the other man away feebly. The people surrounding them served as a means to obfuscate what was happening, everyone shoulder-to-shoulder as Ren let himself be touched and groped. The train's movements caused everyone to shift and sway so no one was even remotely suspicious– 

Was he disgusting? Was he a whore for feeling… good?

Ren looked to the side where that man’s face hovered right above his shoulder, as if he were keen on whispering any litany of lewd words. Despite his weak push, those hips still moved against him. Slow, measured, rubbing and grinding against Ren until the latter was breathing through his mouth. The other man’s plush lips were slightly parted as stuttered breaths left him. Maybe Ren should’ve been disgusted, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how that handsome face must look right now. Did he like how Ren felt against him? Despite his clouded mind, he managed to speak. “Stop,” Ren said this time, but it came out even breathier and weaker than before.

He should be gnashing his teeth and breaking shins! What was this fair maiden act he was pulling? Ren wanted to strangle himself, but he couldn’t deny the way arousal burned in his gut with every press of this man’s cock against his ass. He was big, Ren could tell that much. Fuck… Each bump against his ass and hip made Ren feel even more messed up inside than before. Forget the hand in his pocket, snaking around to grab at his inner thigh and pull him back for each thrust. So, so maddening. It felt so damn good and Ren was a mess who didn’t want to admit such a thing.

But to his surprise, his plea was heard. The man rubbing himself against Ren unabashedly swallowed roughly. “Alright,” he whispered, hand retracting itself from Ren’s pocket. The warmth along his thigh and the teasing grip against his sensitive skin was gone in an instant. “Your stop’s coming up anyhow.”

Ren was slowly regaining clarity with each passing second. For a few moments he was silent before his body seemed to remember it could move. The synapses in his brain fired one by one until eventually he lifted his foot and-

Slam.

The man behind him winced in pain and even let out a little grunt, bending his knees as he tried not to double over in pain. He sure as hell was holding onto that little overhead loop for life now.

“You’re fucking deranged,” Ren said now, moving a couple steps forward in the slowly dwindling crowd. “You genuinely need psychological help– I…” He tried not to think about the way he’d been panting, or how he was half-hard himself.

Golden brown eyes peered up at him then, an entertained smile on his face. His eyes were hungry and his face, too, was a little flushed. He looked good. Just the sight alone made anger billow in Ren’s chest. That fury was dampened by overwhelming embarrassment when Ren watched the way the man’s gaze darted to the front of his pants before making its way back up to meet Ren’s eyes. “I think we both do?” he said with a laugh.

If people were confused, no one said anything. Everyone tried to ignore this strange occurrence with a blank stare and plausible deniability.

But Ren could feel his face burning as those doors dinged open. Hurriedly he got off that train. This time, he looked back and saw that man– no, boy– straightened up and, with a smile, made the ‘call me’ motion with his hand.

Before he could process it, the train sped away and Ren was left dumbfounded.

He was dirty and wretched and he knew it. 

Ren’s hands came up to scrub along his face, covering his mouth as he stared up at the curved ceiling of the metro station. He should be shot on sight for the shit he tolerated today— He… He should…

A stuttered sigh left his lips as his hands fell limp at his sides. He was so turned on that walking became a bit of a chore. With burning shame did he button his blazer and tug it down in a vain attempt to cover his erection. There needed to be some soul-searching either tonight or another day, he knew that for sure. This just wasn’t right, nor was it really forgivable. 

Ren shoved his hands in his pockets, only to quickly pull away from his left one. His fingers had grazed the straight edge of grainy cardstock. 

Was that really what he thought it was?

With his index finger and thumb he pulled out a business card. 

Oh, fuck off. This was actually ridiculous. 

Ren stood there, staring at the text which was made up of all the typical business card stuff, but with big bold numbers written in elegant script plastered on top. He spied the name first. “Jing Yuan,” he murmured to himself, flipping the card over to see the business logo. Jing & Fu Associates. Huh, that was actually a pretty big law firm.

No shot, this brat was actually a big whig.

With a frown, he flipped it back over to glare at the ten digit number written in black ink. Did he actually think Ren was interested? He was insane. How did someone who groped others on a train really think that the one being molested wanted anything to do with him?

Holding it up, he was determined to rip up the card and be done with this Jing Yuan guy. He had pride, dammit, and part of his pride included not calling freaks who rubbed their cock against his ass.

He was so set on this, holding the card in both hands and bending it so that it just began to rip, until he felt a pang of anxiety in his stomach. What was he thinking? He should just… hold onto this and report the guy to the police instead. Yeah. He didn’t need to rip it up yet.

So, Ren shoved the card back into his pocket and trudged home.

At some point he’d finally resolved himself to forget about the whole ordeal (again). “It’s not like the police would help anyway,” he reasoned to his cat, sitting on top of his desk. Those big eyes stared at him measuredly before slowly blinking, as if confirming Ren’s thought process.

He nodded, tearing up the card and disposing of it in the little wastebasket by his feet. Ren tried to ignore the way his stomach flipped, practically doing cartwheels until it landed in his throat. The scattered fragments of the heavy cardstock stuck to his fingers, forcing him to flick them and wipe them from his hands. 

Leaning back into his chair, he let out a sigh and stared at the ceiling.

He was definitely doing the intelligent thing here.

Why on earth would he message the man groping him? When you thought about it, the guy had a serious confidence problem to think that Ren would even entertain such a thing. Did he seem like that type of person?

His mind flickered back to the feeling of big hands rubbing at his waist, pinching his hips. The flash of heat that went up and down his body was something he ignored as best he could. One thing was for sure: that man knew what he was doing. This… ‘Jing Yuan’ character was something else. 

Ren let out a shaky breath and stared at his cat, who sat before him in a handsome little loaf. In the reflection of his eyes, Ren could see himself practically emanating exasperation and shame. “Sesame,” he murmured, leaning forward to rest on his fist. The cat let out a soft mew as if to ask him, yes?

“What am I doing…” he said.

Another little meow left the cat before it got up and stretched, stray bits of fur littering the top of his desk. Sesame jumped down, his little belly swaying as he walked. Maybe he fed him too much, after all. Kafka always told him filling up the food dish continuously did nothing but spur his gluttony.

Either way, Sesame did nothing to ease his mind.

Maybe he should just get some sleep…

Of course that didn’t come easily either.

Even when he was wrapped in layers of blankets and a heating pad (he ran cold, get over it), nothing seemed to take his worries away. Tossing and turning, his body felt exhausted but his mind was running through every single thing that’d happened to him. The business card had really thrown him off, and even now he wondered if he’d done the right thing with it. 

It didn’t help that, whenever he closed his eyes, all he could think about was how big Jing Yuan was, how he could feel him even through the thin layers of their slacks. The man was always dressed sharply, head to toe. Silvery hair and bright, mischievous eyes that seemed to haunt him. Was he really this pathetic? Ren couldn’t help but think so when he felt himself get harder just from memories of those bewitching hands on his waist. Even when he’d thrown the man off of his body, it was half-hearted at best… Could Jing Yuan sense that?

Ren let out a shaky exhale, hand coming up to cover his forehead. The dewy feeling of sweat formed on his fingertips, making him feel even more insane than before. He wanted so desperately to make sense of his feelings and what was going on, but how could he? His mind drifted, over and over, to how hot that body behind him was, how Ren could feel Jing Yuan’s chest brush against his back. He was only a little bit taller than Ren, his voice so alluring. When he really sat and reflected, he even remembered the cologne he wore– a rich mix of bergamot and jasmine. It was something musky, something self-assured and masculine. 

Sitting up, Ren let the blankets cocooning him fall and pool around his waist. He was going to need sleeping medicine or something, or else he’d be dead-tired for work tomorrow. His eyes drifted to the bedside clock, the electronic face flashing a red ‘1:32 AM’ at him.

His head was a mess and all he could think about was that idiot. 

Ren’s body moved automatically, detangling himself from his blankets and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. 

He needed to give that man a piece of his fucking mind.

Of course, he wanted to kill himself when he was on his hands and knees, picking the pieces of that business card out of the trash. Ren painstakingly taped the pieces back together, like it was some sort of evil jigsaw puzzle. Sesame looked on in quiet judgement as his usually aloof owner sighed loudly and rubbed at his tired eyes, fitting one piece against another. 

After a good chunk of time and enough curses later, the card was complete and looked worse for the wear. It was all messy tape and oil stains from his sweaty fingertips trying to hold parts in place… Ren hated himself so much, the thought of calling this man made his chest tight. 

But he was a persistent man! People probably never stood up to this guy, so it was about time someone did.

Ren clambered to sit in his chair, throwing the card at his desk angrily where that elegant script seemed to mock him. The ink from the pen was all smeared now but still legible. Ren wondered, idly, how a bastard like that was going to respond?

Pulling out his cellphone which now showed him a ‘2:01 AM’ seemed to mock him. Whatever. Ren unlocked the screen and punched in the stupid phone number, his fingers shaky but anger swirling in his stomach. 

It rang twice before a very tired sounding voice responded, “Mm, Jing Yuan speaking.”

It sounded so gritty and even deeper than he remembered, addled by rest. Ren swallowed around the lump in his throat before he murmured in a tone he thought sounded mean, “You’re a bastard.” 

There was no reply for a few seconds before he heard a light chuckle, one that seemed to travel through Ren’s bones when he heard it. “Some think so,” the man said diplomatically. “What’s your name?”

“None of your business. You need to leave me the fuck alone,” Ren spat.
He tried to ignore the way his mind conjured up an image of that strong body, undressed and laying in bed with his hair all tousled. “It’s a little funny,” Jing Yuan said softly, grunting as he seemed to move on the other end, “Considering you’re the one calling me at two in the morning.”

“You don’t deserve a decent–”

“-Thinking about my cock that much?” Jing Yuan interrupted him, his voice playful. 

Ren’s jaw froze mid-sentence before he seemed to choke on his spit. 

“You’re so cute,” he continued, “Did you know your ears get all red when I touch you?”

Ren’s blood was close to boiling, the way he wanted to punch this man. “You have no fucking right to touch me,” he said, jabbing at the air with his finger despite the motion being pointless. He was already pissed off enough at being called cute. He was a grown man, goddamnit. 

At the same time, he ignored the pulse of arousal in his gut.

“Maybe not,” Jing Yuan said, “But you like it, don’t you? You get all breathless– especially today.”

Ren wanted to defend himself, say anything, but he was too stunned to speak. Did he really act like that? He raked his fingers through his bangs as he caught sight of himself in the window. A red face. He looked so pathetic and wanting.

“You even called me,” He said, “I didn’t think you would… You’re full of surprises.”

Ren started and stopped what he was going to say a few times before spitting out the most reliable rebuttal in the book. “Kill yourself,” he said, before hanging up quickly. To add insult to injury, he practically threw his phone at his desk afterwards.

Despite his suspicions, Jing Yuan didn’t call back. 

Instead, he was left there, panting as his heartbeat thundered in his ears.

He… He needed to sleep. He couldn’t keep delaying it to, to what? Tell that fucker off? Stitch together that stupid business card again?

Ren’s head was a mess. A drink would help, maybe. Or melatonin?

He paced back to his room, trying to ignore how hard he was from a little banter. Throwing himself on his bed, Ren kicked at his blankets until they straightened out. He lay there, completely defeated and staring at the ceiling. What was his life coming to..? Should he just call off now? It wasn’t like he was going to get any work done like this, his body hardly even felt tired. In fact, he was flustered and pent up– All he could think about was that smug, tired voice telling him how cute he was. 

Ren threw an arm over his face, groaning as he twisted onto his side. His mission to get laid had resulted in a big fat Zero so far. It wasn’t like anyone he worked with was attractive. He was such a picky person and everyone knew workplace romances were disasters waiting to happen. It’s not like he got out much, either, nor did he find any merit in leaving his house beyond the usual chores.

So now he was stuck here, thinking about the handsome young man who fondled him on the subway. The handsome young man who made his desire for Ren so well-known that it seemed to infect Ren’s mind. Should he call back? Would Jing Yuan touch himself over the phone?

God! He threw his arms against the bed as he laid on his back once more. He was depraved and mentally ill. He needed to check himself into a ward or something, because what on earth was he entertaining???

Still, he couldn’t help but wonder how Jing Yuan would do it. How would he touch Ren? Fuck him? Would he shove Ren onto his hands and knees and force him to take it, force his legs apart and fuck him deep? Or would he watch Ren struggle to take it into his mouth, watch him choke on it and use him like a toy? 

Ren covered his mouth and ignored how his body responded. He couldn’t acknowledge it or he’d lose some self-respect.

That voice right beside his ear as he took it all… Would he talk dirty, would he goad Ren as he fucked him? Ren groaned as he squeezed his eyes shut, thinking about that fit body between his legs. He just knew Jing Yuan would grab his thighs and push his knees back until they were practically touching his chest. 

The nice thing about fantasies was the fact that no one but yourself knew about them… So Ren indulged even if every fiber of his being was against it. He couldn’t resist pretending he wasn’t hard, not when his hand trailed down his stomach and slipped below his waistband. He let out a shuddering breath as he took himself in hand, roughly jerking himself off as he thought about how the young man that seemed to take as he wanted would do it.

He’d use Ren until he had his fill, fuck him open with his fingers before he grabbed Ren’s narrow waist and– God, the thought of his cock pushing into Ren made his mind even more of a mess. Would it hurt? Would he relish in Ren’s little cries even as the pain simmered into pleasure? 

His hand moved quicker beneath his pajamas, squeezing and fingering the head to tease himself like he figured Jing Yuan would. Ren bent his knees and bit his lip, moving faster and faster as he thought about that man cumming inside of him, fucking him so deep until he was utterly spent. How would his voice sound then? Would he tease Ren even more?

With a gasp and an arch of his back, Ren came into his fist. He desperately tried to pretend the shame filling his chest wasn’t there until it seemed to crash over him.

He really was… He was really stupid.

Even as he cleaned up, he wondered how he’d face the man if he saw him the next day.

–

Ren grimaced when he saw the face that seemed to occupy his mind smiling back at him from the train platform. Maybe that was the thing that irked him most; the way Jing Yuan would smile softly, almost in a warm way, despite knowing he made Ren’s life a living hell. 

Well, he assumed Jing Yuan knew that, but how could he know for sure. 

Ren collected himself, even as the shame from last night settled in his lungs like pneumonia. Breathing felt difficult, that cologne cloying at his nose and destroying his senses even more than the hand on his waist. Part of him was used to it, maybe even wanted this attention. Ren still pushed Jing Yuan’s hand away all the same. 

“Are you mad I didn’t do it?” Jing Yuan asked beside his ear suddenly. 

Ren glanced backward before fixing his eyes forward. “Do what?” He asked. Did he know Ren had touched himself? Did he know Ren wanted him to be the one to do it instead?

But there was a little chuckle then. “Kill myself,” Jing Yuan murmured. 

Oh. Right. 

He’d said that hadn’t he. 

Ren could feel his face heat up. “Well,” he said, checking the watch on his wrist, just as a way to occupy himself. “I would’ve wanted to watch.”

“Is that so?” Came the pleased response. 

Ugh. Why was he so happy to hear that? 

The hand on his waist squeezed then, making Ren’s body shiver as it lowered itself down to his hip. “You have such a nice body,” Jing Yuan whispered. Ren tried to ignore him, but the man’s palm flattened against his thigh and slowly inched down. “Handsome too,” he added, a smile evident in his voice. 

Jing Yuan let go of the loop above his head then, opting to hold Ren at his waist once more. Ren scoffed, smacking at his arm to no avail. Well, it wasn’t like he really wanted him to stop, either. “You’re just some pervert on the train,” Ren bit out, “Stop acting like I’m an exception.”

His waist was yanked back then, only slightly, but forcefully all the same. Ren tried to keep his breathing normal as he felt something hard against his ass as long fingers massaged his waist. God— he was trying so hard not to make a scene, but, fuck, Jing Yuan’s hands could wrap around his waist almost to the point that his fingertips touched. He couldn’t help but entertain that thought from last night—

“I guess I’m no better than that,” Jing Yuan said, his voice low and undoing. At least he was self aware… “You’re just my type.” 

His lips were so close that Ren could feel them brush against his ear. He needed to remain calm. He had to act normal, even as some smarmy motherfucker ground against his ass with every pitch of the train. 

Ren bit his lip as he muttered out a reply. “You probably do this to others, don’t kid yourself.“ 

After all, this guy was just some pervert. on. The. Train. He had to have multiple people. Ren refused to believe this was an anomaly. 

But arousal was clouding his mind now and he almost didn’t care if that was true. 

“I’m sorry to say this but,” one hand snaked up his chest and fondled him beneath his blazer then, “I’ve only done this to you.”

Ren tried not to lose his mind. Deft fingers squeezed and rolled one of his nipples until it was hard, spikes of pain and pleasure going right to Ren’s gut. With a vice grip did Ren hold onto the center pole, face a deep red and body’s senses absolutely shot. Was he really letting this happen? Fuck he felt so good, so fucking alive. He knew he should feel shame or at least a semblance of it, but he didn’t. 

“Do you… hah,” Ren panted, hand grabbing at the arm beneath his suit jacket and pulling, “Do you think I’m honored by your— your chivalry?” He said sarcastically, turning his head to glare back at the man groping him. 

Jing Yuan acquiesced and let go of him, hand drifting forward to hold onto the center pole as well. Like this, Ren felt almost caged in, but he didn’t hate it. 

What he did hate was the smile he was met with, one that was impish and impossibly satisfied. “No, but I know you’re turned on by it,” he whispered. Ren swallowed roughly as he felt another roll of the man’s hips, that bulge pressing against his ass in such a tantalizing way. “You know…” Jing Yuan said, eyeing Ren as if he were a meal, “I don’t mind being a little late to work.”

Ren wanted so desperately to chase his carnal desires. Anything. He wanted to be pressed against the wall and fucked until he cried. He wanted Jing Yuan’s cock in his mouth, so deep in his throat that he gagged and choked on it, cum coming out of his nose. He was disgusting, but so needy. When was the last time he was this hedonistic? The last time he was so needy in public? 

Ren stared, seeing his own hungry gaze reflected back at him in Jing Yuan’s eyes. Maybe that’s what snapped him out of his stupor, if only for a moment. That, and the overhead speaker announcing the next stop was his. Ren’s mouth was dry when he whispered back hoarsely, “I can’t.”

He really couldn’t. He had too much to do today, too many projects and expectations and not enough PTO. His boss never accepted tardies, was someone who didn’t experience or understand human empathy even in the worst times. 

But maybe Jing Yuan could sense that. Instead of pushing the issue, he released Ren then. All that remained were those featherlight, grazing fingertips from the first time he touched Ren. “Alright,” he said easily, softly. “I’ll be here later if you change your mind.”

Ren couldn’t cave. 

He knew that. 

He had to be better than his most base desires. Even if they were with a man just his type. Especially because said man was just a pervert on the train. 

When the doors dinged open, Ren untangled himself from Jing Yuan’s snare. Despite Ren’s thoughts, Jing Yuan hadn’t really set it up to catch him, anyway. 

Ren glanced back once he was past the threshold, staring at the man smiling at him with an almost sleepy expression from the other side of the glass. Part of him expected Jing Yuan to follow him, to cage him against the wall and fuck him right there. Maybe it was wishful thinking…

Wait. 

Why would he wish for such a thing in the first place!?

He ran a hand through his hair and let out a shuttering sigh. His mind was even more of a mess than it was last night, and worst of all, he was hard again. 

Maybe he should jump off the roof during his smoke break today. 

It was when he was clocking in that his phone dinged. Ren looked down quizzically, pulling out his cellphone and seeing a message from “FUCKING CREEP.”

His brows drew together in confusion as he headed to the breakroom, intent on getting his morning dose of caffeine. It was basically his breakfast while a good smoke was his lunch. Perfectly balanced if you asked him. 

The dark liquid poured from the pot into a nondescript mug with no personality, not even a trace. He liked to keep things simple so people didn’t think they knew him. He couldn’t afford a chummy vibe— the only people he was particularly close to were his own team members or colleagues of similar ranking. 

But he couldn’t imagine what kind of message the guy would even send. Would it be something gross, or god forbid, a hookup text? Ren wasn’t particularly experienced with stuff like that so it was easy to catastrophize the situation if he sat there long enough. 

Bringing the mug to his lips, he clicked open the message. 

Huh. It was weird. 

It seemed to be a video?

Ren frowned and paused for a moment to put an earbud in. He may be inexperienced but he wasn’t naive enough to think that whatever this idiot was saying was for polite company. After all, he just got done violating Ren on the train again. 

Maybe he was goading? Maybe he knew Ren was somewhat interested? Or maybe he saw Ren’s weakness on display. Part of him always froze up when Jing Yuan was behind him, worried that the man would seize him then and bite. Take his fill like some sort of… sexual assault vampire. 

Whatever the case, Ren’s curiosity was intense and definitely got the better of him. It didn’t help that the thumbnail was of Jing Yuan’s face, chin leaning against his fist with a sleepy sort of smile on his face. Was it bad to say he shivered? That he felt something other than disgust at seeing that man smile at him?

Ren pursed his lips and finally clicked play, the video going full screen. 

Jing Yuan seemed to be in an office of some sort. His voice was low and seemed almost entertained. “Let me preface by saying,” he began, the phone shifting somewhat as Jing Yuan moved, “You shouldn’t watch this with other people around.”

Ren could feel his heartbeat pick up. Was he really..?

Looking up from his phone, he watched as coworkers laughed together or chatted before going to their desks. Deep down he knew what was going to happen, but all he could feel was anticipation. Pausing quickly, Ren took his coffee mug to his desk and set it down, signing into his computer before he hurriedly made his way to the restroom. 

He felt insane. Almost like he was a kid again— getting up to things he knew he absolutely shouldn’t be doing. Ren bit his lip as he sat down, the door practically slamming behind him. Even his fingertips seemed to pulse as he excitedly stabbed at the screen with his thumb. 

The video resumed where he’d paused. 

“… If I had the sense to be ashamed, I’m sure I wouldn’t be doing this,” Jing Yuan smiled easily, eyes falling closed. Ren stared at that beautiful face, skin slightly tan and a mole right under his left eye. He really was Ren’s type, it was absurd. “But I fear I’ve been left with no other choice.”

Ren watched as the hand propping up the young man’s head fell to the surface of his desk, fingers tracing along the wood slowly as he pulled his arm back. Golden eyes opened and looked at him then, a knowing twinkle there as Jing Yuan murmured, “Stop now if you don’t want to see.”

But God, he wanted to see. 

He wanted to watch what he knew was coming. 

That voice was practically beckoning him, and the way Jing Yuan’s hands disappeared beneath the desk… Ren could hear the distinct clicking of a belt buckle, the sound of leather moving as it was pulled apart. “I think it’s obvious,” Jing Yuan whispered, his voice sultry and alluring now, “What you do to me…”

Ren’s face reddened as he watched Jing Yuan move, each shift so deliberate. He felt crazy, watching this at work, in the bathroom no less. It certainly didn’t help that his attention was so captured that Ren even put in the other earbud just so he could hear everything clearly. 

The Jing Yuan on this video parted his lips and licked them before his left hand seemed to move. His cheeks were tinged pink, his eyes falling into a half-lidded gaze. Ren couldn’t help but mirror the action, wetting his lips as he watched Jing Yuan’s arm move. Was he really..? They were both at work, and he knew Jing Yuan was important. 

“You have no idea how much I want you,” Jing Yuan said softly, his breaths coming out more as sighs now as his eyes fell shut. “You probably have such a pretty voice.” Ren’s body seemed to overheat as he watched Jing Yuan move quicker, how he seemed to settle back into his seat and groan more openly. 

Fuck. 

Fuck this was too much wasn’t it?

Right then his thoughts became hungrier, more like they were consuming him. He wanted to know what it looked like, how big he was— Ren wanted nothing more than to be bent over that desk and fucked just like Jing Yuan had wanted this morning. Part of him was so annoyed, being deprived of the sight. 

Maybe it wasn’t as impressive as he thought?

But there was no way that was true. Ren felt it himself, knew Jing Yuan was well-endowed. He’d fantasized about it enough recently, after all. It was hard not to be certain when he felt the evidence every other day…

What he didn’t expect was the way Jing Yuan suddenly looked at the camera as he pleasured himself. He looked almost drunk, his chest rising and falling quickly as his face became redder. “Do you want to see what you do to me?” Jing Yuan panted. 

Ren found himself nodding before he could stop himself. 

Jing Yuan reached for the phone then, the camera coming closer before it stuttered for a second, the perspective flipping. Ren’s eyes fluttered for a moment as his hand came up to his mouth. 

Fuck, he looked good. 

A thick cock, uncut and a happy trail. Ren’s mouth was practically salivating as he watched Jing Yuan pull the hood back. The only thoughts that seemed to swarm his mind was what Jing Yuan would feel like in his mouth… Hot and heavy, his cum was probably a little sweet, too. Jing Yuan pumped his cock in long, quick strokes from base to tip, squeezing along his shaft as he went. Precum was already beading at the tip, those long legs spread wide beneath a wooden desk. He could hear Jing Yuan panting now that the phone was closer, could hear him whimper under his breath as he jerked himself off. Ren had a particular fondness for tops willing to groan, willing to make noise as they fucked him. Did Jing Yuan imagine fucking Ren while he did this? He was such a pervert that he’d probably try and screw him on the train if he could…

Ren’s face was splotched in red and pink, his own breaths becoming a bit labored. He was so hard. So ready to touch himself too, but he knew he couldn’t. It wasn’t like he could stay here forever. Ren swallowed around the lump in his throat, listening to Jing Yuan’s little whines as he tried to reel in his pleasure. It was hopeless for him, though. “Fuck, baby,” Jing Yuan whispered, his voice becoming a bit strained. Part of Ren hated the pet name but delighted in being the one to do this to him. 

That big hand continued to move quickly, getting faster and faster as the breaths on the other side of the phone became more labored, shorter. He could hear Jing Yuan whispering nonsense, could see the way his body was tensing up. With a low moan, he watched Jing Yuan cum into his fist, so much of it splashing past his closed fingers. Jing Yuan’s cock seemed to pulse from his orgasm, the man letting out a muffled groan before spreading his fingers wide to let Ren see what he’d done. Milky white cum coated his palm and even Jing Yuan let out a low laugh, whispering, “Fuck…”

Ren closed his eyes and covered his mouth, trying to soak in the noises that man made. His deep breaths, the way he tried to steady himself… He was going to lose his mind if the video had gone on any longer. 

But what Jing Yuan said next really made him feel so, so embarrassed. “You…” he began, words a bit labored as the camera went black (presumably so he could clean up). “You should do me a favor and tell me your name… It’s a little unfair you do this to me and I don’t even know that much.”

Suddenly the camera sprang to life again as the scenery filled in that empty black space. Jing Yuan reappeared in the frame, his hair just a bit more disheveled and his forehead a little dewy from sweat. “I’ll see you on the train,” he said simply, reaching forward with a smile before the video cut to black. 

His phone minimized the video and Ren couldn’t help but notice how his mouth seemed to water. Imagining that cock inside of him was doing wonders for his sexual frustrations. Jing Yuan would definitely be a little rougher, just like he suspected. Would he cum inside of Ren? Would he whisper in his ear as he pounded his ass? 

God, he didn’t know but he wanted to find out. 

So, with shaky hands did he type out in reply, “Ren.” He was willing to be a little obedient, just this once.

Hitting send, the answer was a teasing text of, “Hm?”

Ren took a breath. He had to add a little snark or else it was too obedient. He had an image to keep up here. “You would’ve sounded better calling me Ren instead of ‘baby.’”

He watched the little bubble with ellipses pop up before his reply came. It made him feel antsy, impatient. It would be easier to call each other. “Well,” Jing Yuan wrote, “Nice to meet you, Ren. Did you like what you saw?”

With a frown, Ren tapped the button for his home screen. He wasn’t giving this bastard even an ounce of self satisfaction. 

Putting his phone away, Ren looked down and sighed. 

He had to rely on the saddest memories he had and pure willpower to overcome this one. 

–

He didn’t see Jing Yuan for a few days after that. They didn’t message each other again and there were no teasing phone calls, either.

In the meantime, Ren was certain he was actually going crazy (for the millionth time). Because how on Earth could he explain to people that he was in a bad mood because… because the man groping him on the train wasn’t there? God it even sounded crazy thinking about it– forget it, it wasn’t even worth contemplating.

After all, today would break his dry spell.

Jing Yuan often rode the train in the morning; those afternoon and evening trips were really limited. Ren had pondered to himself that maybe it was because they got out at different times? When he thought about it, didn’t lawyers usually get held up for whatever reason? They had clients and deals and whatever else lawyers did. He wasn’t actually certain other than what he’d seen on TV. Most of those shows didn’t bother covering the actual legal process– either they were attorneys fighting crime or going crazy about the injustice of the legal system, or, you know, both.

So he (though it definitely wasn’t something he planned or wanted to accomplish) decided to work overtime today to test his theory. Ren had been sexually frustrated ever since he received that video. When he’d gotten home that day, he had rewatched it too many times to count and he didn’t feel it was necessary to explain how much he had touched himself to it. No, no. He wasn’t working overtime for Jing Yuan. He had a ton of work to do! They were in a crunch period for a deadline and his crew, as nice as they were, had a couple of blockheads. He needed to check the numbers over a million times, simply to be safe, not because he wanted to get humped on the train after work.

It was 8 pm, three hours after Ren was supposed to have left work. His team was astounded– their strictly ‘no overtime’ boss actually allowing himself to work past scheduled hours? It was incredible, practically unheard of. Ren stood on the metro platform and felt a bit antsy, to tell the truth. His stomach was practically doing loops inside his body as the train wooshed to a stop in front of him, wind whistling past his face. He hated that he anticipated something. That he expected anything at all. It’s not like Jing Yuan was definitely going to be here, and even if he was… Why did he care?

He tried to maintain his cool, but that quickly faltered when their eyes met almost instantly, a pane of thick glass separating them. The doors slid open as people flooded in— much less than usual. It made sense, this was more outside working hours anyway. Ren couldn’t help but feel a little depressed when he realized that they didn’t have as much cover as usual. 

Still, that didn’t stop him from striding right beside the man who originally angered him beyond belief. Today, Jing Yuan looked a bit disheveled. His hair was loose, the red ribbon he normally wore in his hair was draped around his neck and his tie was pulled loose too. The top button of his shirt was undone and the waistcoat that Ren normally didn’t see that often was on full display while Jing Yuan’s suit jacket lay draped over his arm. 

Ren was in much better shape comparatively. They shared a glance, Jing Yuan smiling softly as they did. Even from here he could smell the way liquor seemed to twist together with the man’s cologne. Ren was the first to speak. “Rough day?”

Jing Yuan reached to the side to hold onto the pole attached to the seats as his other hand came over to smooth along Ren’s back almost instantly. His gaze was sleepy, his blinks slow in quiet contentment. “Mm. A client wanted to celebrate after winning a case and I just wanted to go home,” he murmured in response. “But I’m feeling better now.” Alcohol was coursing through his body and was undoing him slowly.

Goosebumps went up and down Ren’s back as he leaned into the touch, though he’d never admit to it. “I’m surprised you won anything,” the man quipped, not looking in Jing Yuan’s direction. His voice dropped an octave to whisper, “Considering you touch yourself in your office.”

Jing Yuan huffed a laugh. Slowly that hand traveled downwards before slipping into Ren’s back pocket. The action was slow and thought-out. “You did it to me,” Jing Yuan half-shrugged. He glanced at Ren with a grin and continued, “And you seemed to like it, too.”

Ren shifted his weight, but didn’t push the man away. He shivered as Jing Yuan squeezed his ass, as he moved his fingers back and forth to tease Ren. “I didn’t like it,” Ren lied. 

“Somehow,” Jing Yuan murmured, his words slurring together slightly as he turned to look at Ren slyly, “I don’t believe you.” The hand on his ass squeezed again before Jing Yuan pulled Ren directly in front of him. 

Ren let out a surprised gasp as hands came to settle on his waist, kneading slightly. Usually, his touches were light and featherlike, but today Jing Yuan seemed to be determined to get his fill. The grabiness made Ren tense up at first before his body could truly appreciate how good it felt, how long fingers seemed to slide up his sides and a tall man leaned against his back. At the same time, it was embarrassing. They weren’t sheltered like they were in the morning– no huddles of people to keep their indecent acts hidden.

Something about the alcohol made Jing Yuan softer, but his actions were more forward. Ren could feel his body starting to sweat as his eyes darted around the car, looking for people who might be staring. No one was… It was sort of an unwritten rule to keep to yourself on the subway even if something truly outlandish was happening in front of you. Silently, Ren was grateful for that, but he knew people were judging in their minds. Thankfully, Jing Yuan hadn’t done anything unforgivable yet. No, he merely wrapped his arms around Ren’s waist and leaned his forehead on Ren’s shoulder.

The little groan Jing Yuan let out sent a shiver down Ren’s spine. All he could think about was the panting man behind that video, the man jerking himself off to the thought of Ren.

“You’re such a drunkard,” Ren chastised quietly. 

“Mm,” Jing Yuan hummed, turning his head so that his lips pressed against Ren’s neck. The action alone made Ren freeze up slightly as Jing Yuan spoke against him, breath hot, “And you smell like menthols…” He pressed a kiss to Ren’s skin as hands ran down Ren’s body, rubbing at his thighs, “I like it.”

Ren grabbed onto the pole beside him and slapped a hand over Jing Yuan’s to keep him steady as the train slowed down for its next stop. His body felt hot, almost unbearably so. Why did this tipsy man work him up so much?? He couldn’t stop imagining Jing Yuan pushing him against the wall and kissing him like he wanted. 

Despite his worries, Jing Yuan stayed upright perfectly well. Maybe he wasn’t as foregone as he thought.

The train car stopped in front of a mass of people, all dressed pretty similarly. Was there a big event in the city or something? That had to be the reason, because people flooded into the car with very same-y outfits, so much so that Ren pressed up against Jing Yuan’s front until they were practically squished against the wall.

The attention he was getting from Jing Yuan only worsened with the pressure. A hand came up to loosen Ren’s tie, to undo the topmost buttons on his shirt. The lips pressed against his neck soon became nips and bites. He whimpered slightly as Jing Yuan let his tongue run against that smooth skin, as his mouth sucked bruises into it. Ren didn’t even notice the way he tilted his head, how he beared his neck for the man to greedily mottle him however he liked. The hands on his hips kneaded and pulled Ren back, letting Jing Yuan grind against his ass in that confined little space they had together. 

“Hold my blazer,” Jing Yuan said. It came out more as a command than anything else which made Ren’s skin prickle.

He nodded and took it, bending his elbow so that the jacket covered the front of his body. Ren didn’t really expect more than what they’d been doing, but he was startled when Jing Yuan began undoing Ren’s belt. He felt the button on his waistband pop open as a hand slipped down the front of his pants, cupping his cock through his boxers. Ren couldn’t resist the little moan that left his mouth.

“Fuck,” Jing Yuan groaned in his ear, Ren breathing harder now. “I knew you’d sound pretty.”

Teeth nipped at Ren’s ear lobe before his tongue swiped against the shell of his ear. The sensation of hot breath against his skin combined with the stimulation made Ren’s face red and his breaths uneven. He practically went weak in the knees when Jing Yuan pressed a tongue into his ear, as if he were trying to consume his body and soul.

Ren’s whimpers became more pronounced, his quiet little moans more desperate as he tried to stifle them more and more. Fuck, they were still on the train for Gods’ sake. He almost didn’t care now, not when Jing Yuan was cupping him and inching back up to eliminate that layer of clothing between them. Not when Jing Yuan was kissing him and marking him. 

At some point he had to actively focus on holding onto that damned coat. His body was giving out right in front of him, a hard cock pressing into the cleft of his ass and grinding against him desperately. “I want you so bad, Ren,” came the breathy declaration, Jing Yuan’s voice low and sultry, but unguarded. “I’ll fuck you right here if I have to,” he whispered.

The people around them were laughing and joking, jostling them closer together until Ren finally turned around. He saw Jing Yuan’s gaze then; so full of lust and want that it could choke him if it were tangible. The air they shared in that tight space was hot, heavy. Ren could hardly function as Jing Yuan turned them around so that Ren was pressed against the back wall of the train, wide windows in front of him. Here he could see Jing Yuan’s reflection as the man mouthed at his neck once more, only breaking to say, “I wish I could record us.” Their gazes locked in the window as he enunciated beside the man’s ear, “So I could listen to you whenever I wanted.”

Ren knew that, at this point, he didn’t care if people saw. He already knew his neck was bruised up and down, knew that if someone wanted, they could see their erections. Maybe that’s what spurred him to move when that sing-song chime announced another stop. The train slowed gradually, their bodies leaning somewhat before Ren grabbed Jing Yuan’s hand and pulled the man roughly, heading towards the opening doors. Like usual, he shoved his way through, but for once it was because he wanted something desperately. 

Jing Yuan, even when he was slightly inebriated, was quick on the uptake. He let himself be tugged along into a half-jog as Ren went God knows where.

It wasn’t far before Ren pulled him into some dark alcove in the wall where only a vending machine stood. They weren’t alone but they weren’t not alone and that’s all either man cared about.

Before Ren could catch his breath or come down from the adrenaline even a little bit, he was tugged into a bruising kiss. It was a needy thing, completely unrefined but so, so hungry that Ren couldn’t help but moan into it. So much tongue, even a little bit of teeth as Ren lost his fingers in Jing Yuan’s hair, pulling the man close and tugging roughly as he listened to Jing Yuan groan. That blazer was forgotten on the ground as big hands grabbed Ren’s thighs and hiked him up, shoving the man’s back against the dirty wall. The kiss broke and became bites, Jing Yuan dragging Ren’s lip between his teeth before dipping to lavish his neck in more marks. The cock that’d pressed against his ass was now pushed against his own hard-on, Jing Yuan rolling their hips together as Ren let his head fall back against the tiled wall. His long legs wrapped around a narrow waist, his back arching into the body that seemed to be savaging him.

“Fuck me,” Ren managed to get out, groaning loudly as a bite seemed to break skin. “Just fuck me,” he pleaded, tightening the hold around Jing Yuan’s waist so their bodies pressed together. 

He could feel himself sinking to the ground, his back pressed against the metro station wall as Jing Yuan lowered to his knees. “God,” Jing Yuan whispered, hands busying themself to tug at Ren’s slacks, “Tell me you want it, Ren.”

The latter let out gasping breaths as a hand slipped past his boxers and closed around his cock, fisting him roughly as he managed to pant out, “I want your cock.” He felt dizzy and too hot, he wanted more so desperately. He wanted that big cock inside of him so badly– How many times had he jerked off to it now? He didn’t even know. He was too needy to count, too foregone to think straight or even pretend to put up a fight anymore. “Fuck me,” Ren demanded, eyes watering with need, “Cum inside of me–”

Before he could finish his sentence, his body was shoved to the side so that he landed on his hands and knees, his nails scratching against the grimy floor of the subway station. Deep down he knew he should be disgusted, but when he heard the sound of a belt being pulled loose, he couldn’t help but submit. 

His entire body seemed to shiver as his boxers were tugged down to hang around his knees. He was overheating and it only worsened as a fat cock was slipped between his thighs, already wet from precum. Jing Yuan’s grip on his waist was like iron as he slammed his cock between Ren’s legs, the man whimpering as he fell onto his forearms. “Fuck, Ren,” Jing Yuan groaned, leaning over Ren’s lithe body as one of his hands came up to fondle his chest. The stimulation from that combined with the quick, hard thrusts between his thighs made Ren feel even better, made his mind more muddled than anything else. 

He felt like an animal, something not even human as his thighs were brutally fucked in some dark corner. They weren’t even in private but he didn’t care. Ren’s mind was too far gone to care about a public indecency charge. He was willing to take any punishment if it meant being touched and fucked by the man that’d been treating him like a toy for weeks now. 

His thighs were aching as Jing Yuan thrusted more desperately, as the hand on his chest came back to rub against his ass. Ren’s jaw fell slack as a thumb pressed into him, shallowly thrusting in time with the cock between his legs. “Yuan,” he groaned, tightening up his thighs as he pressed back against the digit inside of him, “Fuck, please.”

“You’re such a slut,” Jing Yuan groaned, sitting up now so he could admire the state the other man was in. “You want it that bad?”

The degradation did nothing but make Ren shiver, made him needier than before. He really was a slut. He wanted this so bad it made him feel insane. He wanted that cock in his ass and pounding him into the bed. He didn’t care if it hurt now, not when he was so close. Not when he was taking it so well. 

Ren nodded pathetically before looking over his shoulder coquettishly. The arousing image was shattered by the frustration he felt and not being filled properly. “Stop fucking with me,” Ren bit out, “I want you inside of me.”

“God don’t say that,” Jing Yuan panted, cum leaking from the tip of his cock as he sped up his movements. “I’ll cum if you talk like that.”

But Ren was so needy, so desperate for it. What he felt wasn’t arousal but a pang of miserable wanting. He felt so, so good, but it wasn’t good enough. He knew the only thing that would sate him was that cock in his ass, fucking him and opening him up until Jing Yuan finally came inside of him. 

Before he could declare such a thing, his hands were gathered above his head and pinned down by one of Jing Yuan’s. His thrusts became more erratic, his mouth occupied with sullying Ren’s nape while the hand near his ass came round and jerked the man off roughly. “You’re such a whore,” Jing Yuan said, his tone gruff. “Taking it like this…” He heard a deep chuckle as Jing Yuan slammed their hips together, the noise filthy and wet as precum spread against Ren’s thighs messily.

Ren’s eyes fluttered shut as he writhed beneath Jing Yuan, body practically going taut as he came onto the tiled floors. He sobbed out a moan as he pressed his forehead against the ground, as he shoved his hips back against the cock moving between his thighs. 

Jing Yuan groaned and bit into Ren’s neck, cum streaking across the man’s thighs. Ren felt like an animal in heat, being marked and fucked however Jing Yuan wanted him, even when he desperately needed more than what he was getting. 

Both men were panting and groaning as they came down from their highs, Jing Yuan letting go of his iron grip on Ren’s wrists as he preoccupied himself with tucking his cock away. Ren laid on his hands and knees, trying to recuperate even as Jing Yuan pulled his boxers up for him, followed by his slacks. His legs spread apart, his knees aching from the force Jing Yuan was exerting onto him. He was sure his wrists would be bruised, but he didn’t seem to mind.

The floor beneath them was a mess of cum, completely dirtying the tiles even more than they already were. 

Ren felt nothing but the satisfaction combined with the heightened awareness that came after he finished. Part of him wanted to be outraged with himself, to see the absurdity of the situation. Was it bad that, instead, he wanted more? Deep down he knew that he should be revolted by his actions, about his public displays of indecency and lust. He knew he should feel embarrassed. Yet, even as he saw the shadows of people passing by their little hideaway, he didn’t seem to care. Not really. Not enough.

Jing Yuan was breathing deeply, trying to steady himself until he gripped Ren’s shoulders and brought the man back to practically sit on his lap. “Are you okay?” he half-laughed. 

Ren was exhausted, but not sated. The fire in his gut was stoked and, despite his best efforts, he couldn’t put it out. Looking over his shoulder at the man who’d wanted him for weeks now, he said, “Take me home.”

But perhaps he wasn’t clear enough. Jing Yuan’s face fell and he even looked embarrassed. “Right– Listen, Ren,” he maneuvered to stand up, letting Ren sit on the ground instead. “I’m… Sorry, I– the booze got to me, I shouldn’t have–”

By God… was this man actually showing humility? The man that touched him so brazenly without so much as a sorry?

Ren’s eyebrows drew together. “-Shut up,” he said, standing up. He tried to ignore the pins and needles in his limbs. Jing Yuan looked at him wide-eyed as Ren grabbed at his tie and yanked him close. His voice was low and demanding as he murmured, “Take me to your house and fuck me.”

Jing Yuan didn’t get to feel ashamed after everything they’d done. He refused to even entertain the thought. What he wanted right now was to feel that cock inside of him. Christ, the amount of times he’d fantasized about it was already embarrassing enough. Feeling it against his skin, against his ass– the teasing sensation of being prodded open only to never be filled? It was a fucking joke. 

Maybe Ren really was in heat. 

Either way, he felt some semblance of victory when the other man’s mouth fell agape, opening and closing like a fish out of water. Was he really that surprised by Ren’s forwardness? “Fuck,” Jing Yuan whispered, their eyes locked on each other. He blinked and nodded, “Yeah, of course.”

Jing Yuan grabbed his wrist and half-pulled, half-dragged Ren back towards the train platform.

It seemed lavish, from the bits and pieces Ren gathered walking through the lobby. Jing Yuan’s apartment was in one of those movie-like buildings, complete with a doorman and chandeliers that led to stainless steel elevators. 

They’d both calmed down to a level where they kept their hands to themselves. Ren was surprised Jing Yuan was even capable of doing that considering his track record. Beyond his questionable method of getting Ren in bed, he seemed to be just a very handsy man. The way he spoke to others was confident yet reserved, speaking when necessary but giving nods and greetings when due. 

Ren was shepherded into the elevator where, maybe because it was so late, they were the only ones there. It felt… a little weird. They’d done something so extremely public and indecent that Ren couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed with himself. Besides that, he really felt like a whore. Here he was, having been groped and felt up for what felt like weeks now, and not only did he let the guy fuck him in a dark corner of a subway station, he’d actually agreed to come back to his house. 

Well whatever. Ren was depressed enough to say he had a nice life while it lasted (not that he really thought Jing Yuan would kill him). 

But still, the air was a little tense between them for the first couple of floors they ascended before Jing Yuan, who had sobered up a decent amount since their… ahem… excursion, spoke up. His suit jacket lay crumpled on his arm while his tie was haphazardly tied into a disheveled knot. Ren didn’t look much better and the disgusting feeling of drying cum on his thighs made him feel awful. His stacks were sticking to his skin whenever he walked, and even a wide gait did little to ameliorate the problem. 

Jing Yuan cleared his throat before he said, “Ah. Feel free to take a shower. You probably had a long day.” He waited for a moment before adding, “I can get you some clothes, too. I’ll clean your suit for you.”

Huh. Well that was surprisingly conscientious of him. “Alright,” Ren said with a slow nod. 

Was he really doing this? Even if Jing Yuan was the pervert who haunted his dreams, he got the sensation that he was someone who wouldn’t mind if Ren changed his mind about this whole thing. Stupid, he knew. After all, he’d physically attacked and verbally berated the man and he still ended up doing what he wanted. 

That made Ren feel little angry, actually. When he thought back on it, hadn’t he made it known how much he didn’t want to be touched? Without moving his head, he looked at Jing Yuan from the side of his eye. 

It seemed like the other man could sense the change in the air. “Is everything alright?” Jing Yuan said suddenly. Ren was a little taken aback by his worry. “You know, you don’t have to go through with this… I know we were both a little…” He struggled to find the words before he said, “In a different headspace back there.”

Even weirder. 

They kept ascending the floors, each one dinging by. Ren saw they were only a few more away before he crossed his arms and said, “I’m fine.”

He’d ask later, maybe. Whatever the case, it seemed like Jing Yuan wasn’t the worst and he didn’t intend on forcing Ren to do anything. That was a relief, he supposed. 

His friends would kill him if they knew what he was doing. 

Ren swallowed and tried to ignore the little angel on his shoulder telling him to be wary and to think of his friends. They’d be so worried about his safety! This was the man who molested him on the subway! Why is he being so dismissive of it? And even worse: it was more than once! Ren couldn’t even write it off as a one time thing…

Ren shooed the little cherub away and felt as a hand came to rest against the small of his back. “Here we are,” Jing Yuan said with a polite smile, guiding Ren forward as the metal doors slid open. 

His cheeks were hot. Perhaps he liked his men forward like this. A little domineering but with none of the ego. Actually, Jing Yuan probably did have a bit of an ego, but he wasn’t rude nor did he talk down to others, from what he saw. 

His biggest flaw was that he was an irredeemable pervert. That much was certain. 

They walked a distance along a long hallway before Jing Yuan stopped in front of a door and punched in a code, turning the handle after. 

It wasn’t a penthouse suite or something bougie like that. It was a relatively modest apartment that opened into the living room, tall windows giving a good view of the city. It definitely beat Ren’s little studio— rent in this damned area was downright evil and made him want to puke just thinking about it. 

So the fact that Jing Yuan could afford even this was an indicator of his wealth. 

“The bathroom is this way, you can go first if you want to freshen up,” Jing Yuan said easily, guiding him through the rooms before landing at a closed door. “Are you hungry?”

Ren blinked in surprise. He wasn’t expecting someone who wanted to fuck him to be this concerned about his wellbeing. Yet, it was almost 10 pm and he hadn’t had lunch since 1. Of course he was starving…

“Yes, but I can eat… after,” Ren murmured with a hint of embarrassment. 

He watched as Jing Yuan’s polite smile broadened into something more mischievous. “Alright, but if you get peckish, the kitchen is that way. Have anything you want.” Jing Yuan began taking off his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. “The towels are in the linen closet beside the shower, I’ll get you some clothes and a robe.”

But Ren’s eyes were fixed to the way Jing Yuan’s adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. How his slowly opening shirt revealed his collarbones. His stare was red hot and open enough that Jing Yuan let out a chuckle. Reaching forward, he placed his index finger below Ren’s chin and lifted it up until their eyes met. 

Ren’s eyes darted away as soon as he realized what he’d been doing. He swatted Jing Yuan’s hand away with a huff and turned to open the door. “Alright,” he murmured. 

The door clicked closed as Jing Yuan stepped away with a cocky smile. 

Ren finally let out a deep breath and began undressing himself. 

This was weird. 

He could admit that now. 

Sure, he might have been thinking that nonstop but it was really starting to sink in as he turned on the showerhead and made it scalding hot. 

This was easily the weirdest thing he’d done in a long time. He slept around sometimes, who didn’t? But this was a first. Was he that touch-starved? Like, yes, he definitely focused on his career and worked tirelessly to the point that he would just pass out as soon as he got home. He would feed Sesame and then repeat the process the next day. Day in, day out. Romance and sex wasn’t really in his purview, let’s say that. 

Not to this extent. 

What was worse was that he couldn’t get a solid read on Jing Yuan either. By all accounts he was being gentlemanly which was its own can of worms. Wasn’t he supposed to be treating Ren like an object and not caring about how he felt?

A molestor with morals?

He huffed a laugh to himself as water cascaded down his body and seemed to burn away the sin he felt seeping through his skin. Ren scrubbed his hair, afraid that it’d picked up some grime and gum from the subway floors when he’d been pressed against them. God. They really were like animals… he hated that even now he felt turned on at the memory. Shouldn’t he be completely and utterly disgusted with himself? But he wasn’t. 

Ren’s hand blindly reached out to find a bottle of body wash. When he made contact with something cool and smooth, he opened his eyes and squinted as he poured the liquid in his palm. Glancing around, he took in his surroundings and noted that nothing seemed amiss. Didn’t guys like this usually sleep around or cheat? It didn’t seem like there were sets of two or products for more than one person. 

Granted, what made him grin was seeing a pretty thorough array of products for skincare and hair. Well, that would explain why Jing Yuan came across so clean and well-groomed— he was. 

He made quick work of washing himself down before he grabbed the towel he’d laid to the side and scrubbed at his hair. The long locks seemed to twist together and tangle somewhat as he scrunched it dry, moving to do the same to his body. 

Sure this might be crazy, but he was still feeling pretty good. That man was… well-built. Ren cleared his throat a little before he opened the door a crack to grab the robe Jing Yuan had promised. There wasn’t really a point to wearing anything more than that, right? They were here to release some inhibitions…

The cool air billowed in from the outside and chilled Ren to bone before he closed the door once more, slinging the robe on and tying it around his waist. 

He looked around and, when he didn’t see Jing Yuan, walked out towards the kitchen. What met his eyes was Jing Yuan looking up from the food he’d been making and smiling leisurely. “I hope you don’t mind simple,” Jing Yuan said, his button-up almost completely undone by now. “I figured pasta would be fast, and if you want some wine I have some of that too.”

Ren came closer and scanned over the meal the man had managed to cook in the short time he was away. It was definitely simple. Pesto pasta. “What if I don’t like basil?” Ren asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“I have other food,” Jing Yuan said, throwing a tea towel over his shoulder. “But how do you not like basil…” Admittedly he looked at a loss, enough to make Ren laugh inwardly. 

“Lots of people dislike it.”

Shaking his head, Jing Yuan said, “It’s the backbone of Italian cooking.”

Ren rolled his eyes. “I’m fine with it.”

Jing Yuan grabbed a wine glass from the cupboard before pouring Ren an average helping. Well, it didn’t seem like he planned on getting Ren drunk at least. “So you just wanted to give me a hard time?” He asked. 

“I feel like you deserve it,” Ren said, leaning on his fist as he took the glass from Jing Yuan. 

When their fingers touched, it carried with it that same spark of arousal and fire from before. 

“You sound… just like my colleagues.” Jing Yuan had a mirthful expression. It seemed to suit him. “Alright,” he said, working to unbutton the rest of his shirt, “I’ll go wash up. Feel free to look around, my bedroom is the last door at the end of the hallway.”

And explore he did. Jing Yuan disappeared quickly and the food was gone sooner than Ren would like to admit. Alright, maybe he’d been starving. He would never tell that man directly. And for something so simple, it’d been delicious. So far, there were no symptoms of poisoning so perhaps the wine was fine too. 

God the earful he was going to get later from his friends would be legendary…

He hadn’t really intended to go to Jing Yuan’s bedroom right away, but he ended up there partly out of curiosity and partly out of anticipation. He hadn’t even seen Jing Yuan naked yet and he could already imagine how good his body would look, how that cock would feel inside of him. Maybe he had been pent up far too long, because even now he was looking forward to having something like that in his mouth, making his jaw ache from how big he was. 

Ren’s fingers traced his lips as he fantasized, taking in the somewhat cluttered vision in front of him. Jing Yuan’s bed was massive and absolutely filled with blankets and pillows. It seemed like he had fixed the duvet and sheets in such a way that it was ‘done’ but not really good looking by any means… a kind of, well, ‘it’s done’ mentality. Top that off with how he had a desk off to the side absolutely littered in papers and opened envelopes. Was this guy a workaholic like people accused Ren of being? 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Ren sank down and really began to think about his life. He could still leave if he wanted. There were fresh clothes waiting for him and he could just nab his suit on the way out before Jing Yuan was done. He was sure that it would be fine— whatever they had together was purely physical up to now, and they had each other’s numbers. 

But he really didn’t want to take this out he’d been given. All he could imagine were the ways Jing Yuan would manhandle him, how those mischievous hands would knead and pull him any which way until he was malleable at that bastard’s fingertips. Ren hadn’t been kissed so deeply in forever and he really didn’t know when it would happen next. From their little stunt earlier he knew Jing Yuan knew his way around a person, so was he really that insane to be so preoccupied imagining the way he was about to get fucked?

Alas, he was stirred from his revelry when a gentle knock sounded at the door and Jing Yuan peeked inside. “Ah, there you are,” he said, coming in fully. Ren’s eyes widened when he saw the man’s chest on full display, drops of water trailing down his neck and sternum before disappearing into the fluffy tie of the bathrobe. It seemed like tying the damn thing was the last thing he cared about, because it barely covered anything at all. 

But Ren didn’t seem to mind. Instead he merely stared as that man walked closer. He noted that Jing Yuan did have a chiseled body, a strong and toned waist and stomach that melded into fit legs. God he wanted to see him on full display more than anything… 

“Do you need me to dry your hair?” Jing Yuan asked, coming over to the bedside to reach out and trace a thick strand of Ren’s hair. 

His stupid, idiotic self stuttered as he said, “N-no. That’s fine.”

Jing Yuan cocked his head to the side before letting his hand rest on Ren’s shoulder. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that you’ll get sick going to bed with wet hair?”

Ren huffed. “That’s just a superstition.”

Jing Yuan leaned in then and tilted Ren’s chin up again. Was it bad that Ren could already hear his heartbeat in his ears? 

Their lips met slowly, softly even. It was like Jing Yuan was tasting him, getting to know Ren like he was a fine wine. His lips were soft, too. Ren couldn’t help but groan and feel a little self-conscious at his own chapped lips. 

When Jing Yuan pulled back he let out a little laugh, eyes closing so that they creased at the edges with his grin. 

Ren’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “What the hell is so funny?” He said angrily. 

“Nothing, nothing,” Jing Yuan said, peeking at Ren impishly. “I was just thinking that you look a lot like… a wet cat.”

Ren took a stabilizing breath. “Say that again.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Jing Yuan said with a smile. 

It was like pestering Ren was his lifeblood. Was it really so fun to tease him like this? 

Kisses were pressed against Ren’s cheek and jaw before Jing Yuan mouthed at Ren’s neck. He wanted to stay angry, but instead he let it happen, let that skilled mouth undo him however he wanted. The mattress sank as Jing Yuan set a knee down, lowering his hands to Ren’s waist to pick him up and shift him back, slowly pressing against him until Ren laid down against the soft bedding. 

“I like how you smell like me,” Jing Yuan murmured, his nose trailing a line against Ren’s neck as his lips brushed against his skin. Goosebumps and shivers went down Ren’s body as his hands came up to grab at Jing Yuan’s hair. 

So possessive and they hadn’t even had sex yet. 

Something about it made Ren want this guy even more. 

He pulled Jing Yuan closer, even as that man spread Ren’s legs and nestled between them. His robe split and became undone so easily, betraying him as Jing Yuan’s lips came to meet his own once more. First it was chaste kisses, Jing Yuan dragging Ren’s lip between his teeth before licking at his top lip. The heat between them was steadily growing, getting hotter as hands ran down Ren’s sides and came to caress his outer thighs instead. Ren was shivering despite himself, parting his lips and allowing entry to the man that had been tormenting him in sleep and consciousness for so long now. 

Would it be embarrassing to say he loved it? Loved being kissed, being touched like this. He loved the feeling of Jing Yuan’s tongue moving against his own, greedily devouring Ren slowly and measuredly. It was so undoing, like he was a watch being taken apart gear by gear until he was completely useless. His breaths grew more staggered as he felt Jing Yuan press against him, as he felt that big cock against his hip. 

He wanted it so bad that he could even call himself pathetic. Jing Yuan was already good with his hands so surely he could open Ren up easily? Thick fingers pressing into him and fucking him open so he could take that cock he yearned for so bad… Ren gasped into Jing Yuan’s mouth as they kissed, his arms coming to loop around the man’s shoulders helplessly. 

Jing Yuan groaned then, wrapping his arms around Ren’s waist and kissing him greedily. He could still taste the wine on Ren’s lips and all he wanted was more. More of the kiss, more contact, more Ren. Both men were slowly losing themselves as the slow, deep kisses became something even more heated, giving way to their desire. 

Ren’s nails scratched against Jing Yuan’s scalp, making the man groan into his mouth in pleasure. They broke apart then, Jing Yuan staring down at Ren with a gaze that did nothing to hide his want, his need for Ren. “You look so good like this,” he whispered, hands traveling down Ren’s back and coming up against his sides. “Do you want my cock that bad?” 

That devious mouth started nipping at Ren’s neck, traveling down until Jing Yuan was sucking at the divot between his collarbones. God, of course Ren wanted him that bad. He wanted to be fucked so good he’d forget about life’s daily troubles. He wanted his legs to go numb, to be jelly when Jing Yuan was done. He wanted to be fucked so deeply that it’d ruin sex for him with anyone else. 

The attention he was getting already put him in a bind… he felt like he was grazing the surface of madness with each press of Jing Yuan’s lips. His mind practically went blank when big hands cupped his chest and that mouth began to kiss and suck at one of his nipples, teasing Ren with his teeth. “Fuck,” Ren panted, body twisting beneath the other man’s attention. 

But Jing Yuan just looked up at him with a half-lidded gaze, sucking and licking along the sensitive nub while his other hand pinched and rolled the other. It was like electric shocks straight to Ren’s groin, hints of pain mixing into pleasure as he gasped and groaned against the stimulation. He was already so hard he could barely stand it, humiliation coloring his face and shoulders in a crimson hue. 

He hardly expected what Jing Yuan did next.

Before he could react he was flipped onto his stomach, his hips yanked upwards until he was on his hands and knees. The bathrobe loosely clinging to his body seemed to bunch up around his shoulders, riding up his back as Jing Yuan spread Ren’s ass. What was he doing?! Surely this was a little much, even for… whatever this was. A one night stand? 

Ren’s brain was short-circuiting as he felt a tongue lick at his hole, lavving over it with a throaty groan. It was so unexpected, but felt so good that Ren could hardly move, instead pushing back with his hips so he could get more of Jing Yuan’s mouth against him. He heard Jing Yuan hum appreciatively before pushing a tongue into Ren’s ass, licking at him and pressing his lips against that sensitive spot as Ren broke down. 

It was so good– he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d been eaten out, and here he was in such a humiliating position letting a man he barely knew unwind him slowly. “God,” he whispered, fingers curling into the blankets under him as he pressed back again, big hands cupping his ass as that tongue worked its way in and out of him. It was maddening, how it was so much yet not enough all at once. It was warm and sent shivers down Ren’s spine, made him whimper as Jing Yuan pressed into him as deep as he could. His eyes rolled back when he felt Jing Yuan groan into him, pushing Ren forward until Ren’s face was smooshed against the sheets. 

“You sound so good, Ren,” Jing Yuan murmured against him, breath hot against his skin. The featherlight touches of his lips against such a sensitive part of his body made goosebumps pop up on Ren’s arms, made him writhe just a little. He felt as that tongue pushed into him again, as it moved in and out of him at a measured pace. His mind felt like mush as he reached back and set a hand on top of Jing Yuan’s head, pushing him closer. He wanted to be utterly consumed, wanted pleasure to take over his body until there was nothing left but panting satisfaction.

But Jing Yuan was intent on not giving him what he wanted.

Ren was shoved forward until he lay flat against the bed, looking over his shoulders with heavy breaths. He watched Jing Yuan take off his robe now, muscles flexing under his skin– He was. God. He was well-taken care of. His body was fit and strong. It made Ren even more excited for what was to come. If that glimpse from the subway was anything, he was sure he’d be blissed out in no time.

Jing Yuan’s cock was already hard, practically touching his stomach as he loomed over Ren and yanked open the bedside drawer. Some things clattered before Jing Yuan pulled out a bottle of lube, dousing his fingers generously as he rubbed them together. “Promise me something,” Jing Yuan murmured, rubbing his fingers against Ren’s hole.

“What?” Ren asked exasperatedly. Was now really the time to be making promises? 

But Jing Yuan merely grinned at him. “Try not to come from this, okay?”

Ugh. This kid was seriously so up his own ass it was disgusting. “I’m not going to fucking c– ah,” he gripped the sheets and whimpered as a finger pressed into him. Jing Yuan had such nice hands, fingers big enough that even that was a little bit of a stretch as he pushed them in. Sure, he hadn’t been fucked in forever, but he didn’t think he would already be making noises like that.

He didn’t dare look at the kid pushing into him, he was sure all that would be there was a self-satisfied smirk. 

Jing Yuan started the pace off a little fast, thrusting his finger in and out until Ren was practically trying to ride it himself. So quickly did the sensation become too little and all he wanted was more. Just the thought of that fat cock inside of him was making his head delirious, made his mouth water. 

Before he could tell the boy to hurry up, another finger was pressing into him, fucking him open with wet smacks of skin on skin. The noise went straight to his lust-filled brain, made him feel a little bit twisted up inside. Those long fingers worked him so well, hitting every little spot inside of him until they curled just a little bit and made Ren see stars. 

Maybe Jing Yuan’s confidence was justified, if only a little.

Jing Yuan leaned forward and placed a hand beside Ren’s head as he mercilessly fucked Ren with his fingers. At this point, Ren was spreading his legs as far apart as he could, his jaw slack as drool pooled to the side of his mouth. He hadn’t even realized he’d been mumbling a series of quiet pleas. “Yes,” he whimpered, pushing against the fingers that were deep inside of him and nudging that sensitive spot, “Right there, Yuan—“

Even the stimulation from the stretch alone was enough to make his stomach flip. Pulse after pulse of pleasure, Jing Yuan leaning over his body to bite at his neck some more— it was all too much. Ren was trying his damndest to hold on as pleasure radiated from where he was being fingered and where that mouth seemed to toy with him. He just knew he wanted more, needed it. It was like he was on the train again, simply desperate for Jing Yuan to fuck him silly. 

His eyes squeezed shut as a third finger pushed into him then. It was so good, too much. The roughness of Jing Yuan’s finger tips rubbed against his prostate once he was deep enough and made Ren’s soft moans turn into something more garbled and incoherent. 

Ren wasn’t even cognizant of how he was shoving his hips back to meet each thrust of Jing Yuan’s hand, riding him as best he could. The pleasure was only building, dangerously fast at that. 

But Jing Yuan pulled out and instead fiddled with the bedside drawer, pulling out some condoms as Ren lay there on all fours. His face was pressed into the mattress and by now he could feel where tears had formed on his waterline. What was going on with him?? He’d had good sex in the past but… this was a different level. 

When he realized that Jing Yuan was ripping open one of the little packages, he suddenly gained consciousness again. Kicked from his stupor, Ren rolled onto his back beneath him, glaring up at Jing Yuan who looked surprised. “Everything okay?” Jing Yuan asked, one of his hands coming up to smooth against Ren’s thigh. 

The simple touch made the fire in his stomach burn brighter. “No,” Ren said, though it came out more like a petulant huff. 

“Hm? What’s wrong?” Jing Yuan lowered himself down, his fingers dragging along Ren’s skin gently. His expression was one of concern. “Did you want to stop?”

But Ren merely yanked him down until their bodies were flush, grabbing at the condom and tossing it to the side. “I want it raw,” Ren said, his tone commanding. “After what you’ve put me through… you better deliver.”

He watched as unabashed hunger lit up in Jing Yuan’s eyes. “Far be it from me to deny you,” he murmured, reaching down between their bodies to run a slick hand against his cock. 

Their lips came together in a flurry of impatient kisses, quickly deepening with licks and bites as Jing Yuan shoved Ren’s knee farther to the side. Ren sucked on his tongue as he felt the tip of Jing Yuan’s cock nudge against his ass, slotting in easily before that gradual push. 

He couldn’t take it anymore, breaking away as Jing Yuan kissed at the already deep red marks on his neck. He was going to be a mess after this, wasn’t he? Everyone in the office was going to know— these marks probably wouldn’t fade for weeks. 

But all comprehensive thought flew out the window as Jing Yuan pressed into him, that big cock spreading him wide. Ren’s eyes fluttered for a moment before closing completely, too focused on that pressure to do much else. Jing Yuan’s hand cupped Ren’s chest, his thumb pressing and brushing against the sensitive bud on his chest in a way that made arousal broil in his body. 

It ached. He hadn’t touched himself like this in so long, let alone with another person. So busy was he that the concept became foreign. His breaths came in short huffs as Jing Yuan sank deeper into him, being kind enough to let Ren adjust. “Feel good?” Jing Yuan half-laughed, his tongue pressed against Ren’s nipple. 

Ren’s head was spinning but he had enough sense to feel annoyed. Where did this kid get off? Where did his confidence come from? They hadn’t even gotten started yet, but it wasn’t like Ren was moaning. “Has anyone ever told you…” Ren panted, grabbing a fistful of the man’s hair to expose his neck. A dangerous glint flashed in Jing Yuan’s eyes as he looked down at the man he was defiling. “… That you’re an overconfident prick?”

Jing Yuan paused for a moment before his face broke into an impish grin. He took that statement as an opening to snap his hips forward to bottom out inside of Ren. 

Throwing his head back, Ren bit his lip and whimpered, “Ah—“

But unlike his earlier temperament, Jing Yuan set a brutal pace right from the start. The patient, concerned man he had come across as was completely gone, like chalk in the rain. Instead, he grabbed Ren’s knees and spread them apart as he pulled back and snapped forward again. How could he not delight in the noises Ren was making? He’d become feral. That proud man reduced to loud groans, his hand laying against Jing Yuan’s chest as he panted. He could feel that heartbeat hammering against his palm, could see the way Jing Yuan was smiling at him with hunger and fondness. 

His body was being pushed to the limit already, that cock shoved deep inside of him and rubbing against his prostate over and over as each thrust found its way to that place consistently. The stretch burned, but it made him feel so alive. It was everything he could do to suck air into his lungs as he tried to take it, tried not to give Jing Yuan the satisfaction that Ren felt. 

A big hand covered Ren’s where it sat against Jing Yuan’s chest, as if affirming Jing Yuan was there and that he was the one doing this in the first place. Ren would never admit it, but from his lips came a series of moans and whimpers so sweet that Jing Yuan couldn’t help but give in to the pleasure— give into the instinct inside of him to fuck Ren into a stupor. 

That man’s head was thrown back as his limbs grew limper in pleasure. “Please,” Ren gasped trying to pull his hand away. Jing Yuan grabbed his wrist instead, reaching out for the other to pull close to his body as he thrusted wildly into the older man. Ren groaned, his legs coming to wind around Jing Yuan’s waist as he was fucked into with abandon. 

“Please what?” Jing yuan asked, pulling Ren back against him with each thrust. It was a lewd smack of skin on skin, of Ren’s pathetic noises. 

Ren’s breaths came out harsh. He felt lightheaded as he said, “I…” 

His thoughts weren’t connecting to his mouth. He couldn’t manage to say anything as his eyes fluttered shut, tears lining the rims as his face reddened even further. He was such a mess already, his back arching as Jing Yuan let go of him and instead hauled Ren into his lap. 

Ren collapsed forward and pressed his forehead against Jing Yuan’s as he was bounced up and down on that thick cock, trying his damndest to keep his head on straight. Strong hands gripped his waist in a tight hold, threatening to leave bruises. “C’mon,” Jing Yuan smirked, tilting his head to steal a kiss from Ren’s parted lips. His mouth hung open in pleasure, his nails dragging along Jing Yuan’s back and shoulders. “You can do it, Ren.”

He was so annoyed by his own inability to speak, rattled to the core by how good it felt to be used like this. Already he could feel his climax approaching-- he couldn’t, not yet. He didn’t want this feeling to stop, didn’t want to… didn’t want to…

Ren moaned as lips mouthed at his jaw, Jing Yuan’s hands and trailing up Ren’s back supportively as his hips moved. He had to say something. He needed to knock this kid down a peg or two. “Is this- is this all you’ve got?” He managed to get out, his nails digging into the man’s flesh as a particularly good thrust hit him. 

“Oh, Ren,” Jing Yuan whispered, as if he were in awe. 

There was a split second that Ren recognized he may have chosen the wrong path. 

Without a moment’s notice, Jing Yuan pulled out and flipped Ren onto his stomach, forcefully hiking his hips up until they were level with his cock. Even now, Ren felt dizzy, his stomach flipping and his blood rushing past his ears. What struck him most was the sensation of being empty, of missing that cock fucking him, of Jing Yuan on top of him. 

He didn’t have to wait long, the head of Jing Yuan’s cock lining up against his sensitive hole before plunging back inside of him. 

Ren’s toes curled as he grabbed at the sheets, a loud moan tearing from his throat. His entire body was jolted forward with the force of Jing Yuan’s thrusts– he was completely at his mercy and he could barely function as it was. He’d never been fucked this hard, had never been filled so relentlessly that he could cry at the feeling of it; pleasure and impending soreness all at once. His body was shaking helplessly under Jing Yuan, wave after wave of electricity shooting down his spine as he took each and every thrust. He wasn’t sure at what point he’d started to babble incoherently.

“Ah,” Ren gasped as his arms were grabbed suddenly, yanked back so that his torso was suspended in air as Jing Yuan pounded into him. 

Tears were in his eyes and practically streaming down his face from how good he felt, his head hanging limp between his shoulders as Jing Yuan yanked him back, holding him in place. “Yes, yes, yes,” Ren chanted, his voice becoming more broken, more undone with each and every movement. “Please,” he moaned as he was released just as suddenly, Jing Yuan grabbing the back of his head and shoving him into the sheets face-first. His other hand pushed on Ren’s back, forcing him into an arch that made his thighs ache.

He was so close, he could feel it coming any second. Could feel that twisting and winding heat in his stomach building and building. Every brush of Jing Yuan’s cock against his prostate made him less in control, made him more susceptible to his instincts.

Fingers dug into his hair and scratched along his scalp as Jing Yuan pulled Ren’s head so their eyes locked. “Please, what?” he asked again, taunting Ren. Ren’s mouth hung open, drool peeking from the corner of his lips with a dazed look in his eye. So hot and tight, so hungry for cock that it was practically written across his face. “You’re such a whore,” Jing Yuan murmured, leaning forward to take Ren’s lips into a messy kiss. 

It was all heat, tongue and teeth as the two desperately sought after each other. Ren was breathing so hard, clawing at the bed beneath him as he panted against Jing Yuan’s lips, “Please. Inside–”

“Would you like that?” Jing Yuan groaned, releasing Ren’s hair to instead wrap a hand around the man’s throat. 

He watched as Ren’s eyes fell shut, his cheeks wet with tears as he nodded despite himself. To see someone so proud reduced to this… It made Jing Yuan wet his lips hungrily.

Jing Yuan wanted to see more.

So instead of doing what Ren wanted, he took Ren in hand and began to pump his cock with abandon. He watched as the man gasped and squeezed his thighs together before cumming into his hand almost immediately. “Fuck, fuck, please–” Ren clawed at his forearm and practically choked on pleasured sobs. “Fucking bastard,” he said, pretending as if he wasn’t shaking from how good he felt, as if he weren’t crying because he was so overwhelmed by the sensation. 

“You feel so good, Ren,” Jing Yuan whispered in his ear, canting his hips forward so that Ren choked with the force. “So fucking tight.” 

It was even better when Ren came, those tight walls clinging to his cock, pulsing around him over and over. Jing Yuan was careful not to cum right then and there. He wanted to see what this man looked like when he was overstimulated, pushed past the boundary of mere pleasure. Was that mean of him? He wasn’t sure… So far he’d been rewarded pretty nicely with Ren’s reactions.

Ren, at the same time, wanted to take control back. He wanted to beat this kid upside the head, wanted to ride him until he was begging Ren to stop. But he was so damned weak, so sated that he couldn’t help but be bent and molded however Jing Yuan wanted. His body was tired beyond belief as that man pulled out of him again, shoving him onto his back before fucking into Ren once more. 

The pace, the urgency of it all was so overwhelming and Ren already felt so overstimulated that he was barely certain of how to breathe. Where had the man asking him if he was okay, the one fingering him slowly, go? He’d been replaced by some sort of insatiable beast– but Ren couldn’t lie to himself. He felt so good, felt so right being used in such a way he hadn’t in a long time. 

He surprised even himself when Jing Yuan took his knees and pressed them to his chest, putting all his weight on Ren as he fucked him senseless. Even if he’d came, he was still so desperate– that spot inside of him practically begging for cum. He wanted to be filled so bad, wanted as much as Jing Yuan could offer him. Maybe they could do this all night, each and every time that boy could fill him up and fuck it back into him when it leaked out.

Even as he fucked Ren, Jing Yuan couldn’t help but let out little whimpers and groans himself, getting lost in that tight heat. When he looked down at the mess of the man he’d created, a tear-streaked face and a mouth half open and drooling, he only felt even closer to coming than before. “You’re so fucking hot,” he whispered, spreading Ren’s legs apart so he could get closer, kissing at the man’s face. “I’m so close… Do you want it, baby?”

Fingers tangled into his hair and dragged Jing Yuan into a messy kiss. “Cum inside of me,” Ren whimpered. Another kiss. “Yuan, fill me up,” he begged. 

It was here he saw the way Jing Yuan looked so helpless, like he was at his wits end. He dropped Ren’s knees then, wrapping his arms around Ren’s lithe waist instead, pulling him close. The kiss he gave was sloppy, desperate. Ren was moaning into his mouth, begging for him to cum whenever they took a moment to breathe.

Jing Yuan pressed his face into the divot between Ren’s shoulder and neck, hips stuttering to a stop as he pressed as deep as he could before cumming. “Ah, fuck,” he groaned, thrusting a few more times as if to make sure he was as far as he could go. One of his hands slipped free and grabbed at the pillow while the other held Ren as close as possible. “Fuck,” he panted. Pure white-hot pleasure seared along his body as he completely unraveled, cumming against Ren’s aching prostate. It was so good. So fucking good. Jing Yuan wasn’t sure when the last time he’d felt like this was, or if he ever had at all. To have a man like Ren beneath him, so pliant and begging for it– Fuck, it took everything in him not to cum immediately. 

The air was thick between them as they came down from their highs. Heavy breaths, and fleeting touches as they both tried to reposition while remaining as close as possible. Both of them laid there for a short while, trying to catch their breath. Jing Yuan breathed heavily, pushing himself up and off of Ren while Ren laid there dazed. It was a few more moments before Ren lifted a shaky hand to rake through his hair, eyes falling shut as his knees finally gave out and he laid flat on the bed. 

Ren knew one thing:

He could never tell this egotistical asshole that it was the best he’d ever had.

He was sure Jing Yuan would fall asleep (as he was thinking of doing, too), but instead, that man got up and disappeared only to come back with a somewhat damp cloth and a glass of water. He wiped both of them down wordlessly before falling back onto the bed and pulling the covers up and over them both. 

Ren wasn’t sure what to say.

Part of him just wanted to go again. Part of him was appreciative of how this weirdo seemed to be so attentive and considerate of him despite the fact that he was known in Ren’s mind as the Pervert On The Train.

Jing Yuan was the first to speak. “Are you thirsty?” 

God. He really was. 

But instead of answering, Ren thought for a few moments. His line of thinking in the elevator seemed to return to him, and instead of drinking, he aimed to sate his burning curiosity. “Why did you touch me on the train like that?”

Jing Yuan coughed, choking on the water in his hand. “Pardon?”

Ren turned to lay on his side, eyeing the man more closely. “The first time. I just don’t get it,” Ren said, eyebrows drawing together. “I threw you off, you persisted. I tell you to leave me alone–”

“-- You whimpered the first time I did it by accident,” Jing Yuan cut him off. He looked confused. No, like, genuinely perplexed. “So I kept doing it.”

Ren scoffed. “No I didn’t.”

“You did,” Jing Yuan nodded. “I know you’re older than me so you’re a little forgetful–”

“-Shut up, you prick–”

“-But you definitely moaned or whimpered every time I touched you.”

Ren sat up. “I told you to leave me the fuck alone?!”

Jing Yuan paused for a few moments, staring at Ren like he was dumb. “... Weren’t you just playing hard to get?”

Ren’s face reddened with rage now. “Excuse me?”

It was here Jing Yuan came to realize that maybe he’d been misinterpreting a few vital social cues. He coughed into his fist. “I… figured you were interested…”

He had the decency to lower his head. 

The ecstasy Ren felt was dissipating pretty quickly at the absurdity of what he was hearing. 

But before he could say something to admonish the man further, Jing Yuan pointed out the most humiliating fact of all. “And ah,” he tried to hide the little smile forming on his lips as he said, “I hate to say this, but we did just have sex.”

Gloating that he was right!

Oh. He wanted to strangle him. Admittedly, he seemed honest when he said Ren whimpered– Was he that touch-starved? It was more embarrassing to think something like that was true. Oh god… That phone call made even more sense looking back. Jing Yuan had told him he panted and got all breathless.

Ren scrubbed his face with his hands and fell back into the bed. “This is so fucking stupid,” he grimaced. 

Jing Yuan was equal parts remorseful and entertained. “Ah, well…” he started, nestling into the blankets and pillows beside Ren’s body. He looked so cute like this, his ears red and his voice all hoarse from the way he’d moaned earlier. “You can stay the night,” he said, “I have tomorrow off, so if you stick around I can make you breakfast.”

Ren peeked through his fingers to glare at him.

“...And I’m sorry for misinterpreting everything,” he said diplomatically.

 Who was worse: 

The pervert on the train, or the man who willingly slept with the pervert on the train?

Ren didn’t even want to know anymore. 

“I’ll deal with you tomorrow,” Ren scowled, turning so his back was facing the man.

But Jing Yuan was just pleased to know he planned to sleep over. 

With a grin, he said, “I’m looking forward to it.”