Archive of Our Own

Eu quero desafiar as leis da minha saudade, nunca falta tempo pra prioridade // I want to defy the laws of my longing, there’s never a lack of time for priorities 

Phuwin’s car was parked beside a flower shop as he downed one pill of his allergy meds. He had just driven all the way from Nakhon Nayok to Bangkok, a roughly one-hour and forty-minute drive, and had just bought a single sunflower that was now resting on his passenger seat.  

That was maybe a poor decision on his part, as he is allergic to flowers, but that flower was a celebratory gift for his boyfriend, who was now having an event for the animated movie he had dubbed for. 

Phuwin had sneaked out of the filming set of Scarlet Heart to be able to attend the movie’s premiere and was not about to show up empty-handed. It was Pond’s first job dubbing a movie, so the risk of an allergic reaction was worth it.  

He would do anything for Pond, including sneezing the rest of his day away and talking to multiple staff members throughout the day to be able to move his schedule around just so he could attend the event. 

That morning, he was sure he wouldn’t be able to be there for Pond. His filming schedule was packed, and the location was considerably far away. He had even told his boyfriend he was sad to miss it, but unfortunately, that was nothing he could do about it. 

But as the day went by, he started to feel more and more restless about it, and guilt started slowly eating him alive for missing it. He knew it wouldn’t be his fault, and he also knew Pond wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t make it.

Even though he knew all that, he still felt like he would blame himself if he wasn’t there. So he did everything in his power to get a few hours away from the set in order to congratulate his boyfriend. 

He told the staff he didn’t even need to watch the movie. Just showing up at the event and seeing Pond for a couple of minutes would be enough, and lucky for him, they agreed to it. 

Before he got out of the flower shop parking lot and made his way to the premiere, he grabbed his phone to text his and Pond’s manager. 

P’Ying

just checking again, you didnt tell him anything right?

For the thousandth time, Phuwin, no.

He has no idea you are coming.

nice! thanks, i should be there soon

just stopped by to get him a flower

A flower?! You still have work to go back to! You can’t have an allergic reaction. 

Do you have your meds?

yes ma’am 

just took one, relax

it will be fine

You two really do test me sometimes. 

Make sure to arrive from the west side. That way, you avoid the heavy flow of fans.

The event has already started, so try not to steal his attention when you get here.

Leave the flower in the waiting room so you are not holding it longer than necessary. 

A staff member will be on the lookout to guide you. 

noted. will he have time between the event and the movie?

Yes, a couple of minutes. I will take him to you once he is done, and you two can talk in private BRIEFLY before he is called in to the theatre. 

dont worry, i wont make him late i swear

You'd better. Now, excuse me, Pond is insisting on taking the plushie with him to the stage.

lol good luck with that

Phuwin smiled at his phone, imagining his boyfriend holding the beaver plushie close to him. He loved that thing. 

He put his phone away and began driving off towards the mall where the premiere was taking place, buzzing inside with excitement at the prospect of surprising Pond.

Knowing his boyfriend, he would be very happy about this and undoubtedly would lose his focus a little once he spotted Phuwin arriving.

P’Ying wasn’t teasing him once she texted him about it; she also knew well enough how it would go. She didn’t know about them being together now, but Phuwin is aware that she definitely suspects it. 

So, following her advice and his own knowledge of Pond, once he arrived at the mall, he tried to be away from his boyfriend’s line of sight.

He found the staff that was there to guide him, and she gave the sunflower to another person, who took it away to the waiting room as instructed by P’Ying. 

Phuwin then tried to tell her to let him stay behind a big panel, where Pond would not be able to see him, and he would not grab much attention from the crowd.

She wasn’t having it, though. She grabbed one of his hands and guided him towards the stage, telling him that P’X was there too and soon enough Pond would be done, so it was all good.

He didn’t catch the exact moment his boyfriend saw him in the crowd. Phuwin just heard the fans talking about it and was sure it reached the other’s ears by now.

Once he caught sight of Pond, he laughed as he noticed that P’Ying was most definitely reprimanding him because his boyfriend had lost his attention to search for Phuwin.

As he walked past the stage, their eyes quickly met. Pond’s eyes were shining brightly, his beautiful face graced with his big, happy smile. 

It was all worth it. All the trouble Phuwin went through to be there at this moment was absolutely worth it. 

Phuwin stayed by the side, catching up with P’X – the director for Me and Thee – as he waited for Pond to be done.

A few minutes later, just as promised, P’Ying brought his boyfriend over. Pond immediately went to him, reaching out to grab Phuwin’s hand.

They attempted to give each other a casual “bro handshake” that didn’t really reach the mark, as Pond held his hand the same way he does whenever he wants to kiss Phuwin’s.

“I can’t believe you came.” Pond sounded over the moon.

“I managed to move my schedule around a little.” Phuwin said, letting go of his boyfriend’s hand and immediately crossing his arms in an attempt to keep himself from touching the other. 

P’X congratulated Pond on his work, and Phuwin smiled when he noticed how his boyfriend talked to the director, but his eyes didn’t leave Phuwin’s face for even a second. 

Phuwin felt something buzzing between the two of them, but they weren’t able to act on it now. They simply kept talking and doing whatever P’Ying instructed them to do until she finally guided them to the waiting room. 

“You guys have fifteen minutes.” She said, holding the door open for them. After the two were inside, she gave them a look, repeating herself. “Fifteen minutes.”

“Yes, mom.” Phuwin joked, earning himself a third warning look as she closed the door.

Before he could even turn around the room in search of the sunflower, his arm was grabbed, and he was pulled into Pond’s arms in a tight embrace.

“I still can’t believe you’re here.” His boyfriend sniffed his neck, hugging him close. 

Phuwin hugged him back with the same enthusiasm. “Surprise.” He chuckled.

Pond laughed, not letting him go. “Did you tell me you wouldn’t be able to come just to surprise me, or did you change your schedule today?”

“I changed it today.” Pond apparently wasn’t expecting that reply. He quickly backed away to send Phuwin a surprise look.

“Wait, really?”

He nodded. “I really didn’t have enough time off to be able to make it, but I convinced the staff to give me at least four hours of break so I could pass by to congratulate you.”

“You’re going back to work then?” Before Phuwin could reply, his boyfriend continued. “Wait! How long are you staying?”

“I’m staying for just the next few minutes you have before the movie starts.” He explained, scanning the room in search of the flower. “I have to go back to finish my scheduled scenes.” 

Pond looked like he didn’t know how to react to that information. “Did you really drive for two hours just to drop by for twenty minutes and go back?” 

Phuwin took the opportunity of his boyfriend being taken aback by the situation to walk towards his gift and grab it. “It was an hour and forty-five minutes, but yes. I got you this as well.”

His boyfriend stared at the flower with a touched expression, he slowly picked it up and gave it a sniff. 

“But you’re allergic to flowers.” His voice sounded small, and Phuwin smiled softly at him. 

“I took my meds after I got it.” He explained as if this were a very casual thing to do. 

Pond just stared at him in silence for a few seconds, looking like he was unsure of what to do with himself 

Phuwin walked closer to him, softly placing his hand on top of Pond’s. The one that was holding onto the sunflower. “Did you like it?”

“Of course I did. I…” Pond reached out with his free hand, caressing Phuwin’s cheek. “I love you more than anything in this world.”

“I love you too, Nara.” 

His boyfriend leaned over and gave him a sweet kiss, followed by a peck on the tip of his nose. “You really didn’t have to go through all that trouble for me, but I am immensely grateful you did.”

“I just wanted to be here for you, and nothing would be able to stop me.” They were very close to each other. Pond ended the small space in between them and touched his forehead against Phuwin’s. 

They stayed like that for a little while, enjoying each other’s presence. After a few minutes, they inevitably kissed again, longer and more intensely than before, trying to convey their feelings through it. 

Once separated, Pond held one of his boyfriend’s hands on his, looking at the flower and smiling widely. “You better not start sneezing any time soon.”

Phuwin laughed. “I will be fine, don’t worry.”

“You’re adorable, teerak.” Pond beamed at him. “I can’t believe you got me flowers.”

“A flower. Single one.” He said, as if that made it any better that he was risking having an allergic reaction just to congratulate his boyfriend. 

Pond ignored him. “Why a sunflower? Are you the sunflower, and I’m your sun?” 

Phuwin gave him a judgmental look. “No, that’s so cheesy.” 

“Don’t tell me you choose it randomly. I know you. You can’t fool me by pretending to be nonchalant.” Pond warned him before Phuwin could tell him his prepared lie about how it was the only one left. 

“Fine,” He grumbled. “The lady at the shop gave me a few options, and I liked the meaning of this one.”

He went quiet, as if that was all. 

Pond kept looking at him expectantly for a few seconds until he realised what Phuwin was doing. “You can’t just say that and not tell me the meaning, PhuPhu.” 

“Yeah, I can.” He mumbled.

“We’re literally dating.” Pond chuckled. “You were screaming that you’re mine a few nights ago, and now you can’t tell me the flower’s meaning?” 

Phuwin felt his entire face burn, and he slapped his boyfriend’s arm with his free hand. “Don’t say that!”

“C’mon, babe. I wanna know.” Pond pouted, giving him his best puppy face. Phuwin hated how that worked on him.

He knew he should be more used to being openly affectionate by now, but some things were easier than others. Still, he knew he could never deny Pond of anything. 

“It’s about adoration and loyalty,” Phuwin explained. “Giving only one means that you’re the only love in my heart.” He blushed, trying to avoid eye contact. 

“You’re so cute.” Pond exclaimed, pulling him into another hug. “I love it so much. I will treasure this sunflower forever.”

“I’m glad you liked it, my love.” 

Pond kissed him on the cheek, sniffing it gently after. “You’re the only one in my heart, too.” 

They stared at each other, matching fond smiles gracing their features. 

“I better be.” Phuwin said, trying to move away from his embarrassment. Somehow telling Pond he loved him and belonged to him since the first time they met was easier than this. 

Phuwin could hear his inner voice telling him that it was okay to express his feelings. He wasn’t being cheesy or anything. If he loves someone, he should let them know in all the ways he can. Having emotions is normal. 

That inner voice sounded suspiciously like Fourth. Phuwin shook his head to get the voice out of his head. 

Before they could do anything else, there was a knock on the door. They immediately let go of each other’s hands.

“Time’s up.” P’Ying opened the door, getting inside and smiling softly at them. “I see you got a flower.”

“I did! Isn’t it pretty?” Pond sounded like this was the best gift he had ever received. 

“Very pretty.” She said, sending them a knowing look but not saying anything. “Would you two like a picture together?”

They agreed to it, it was always nice to look back at moments like this. The two of them posed with the sunflower, secretly holding hands behind their backs. 

And if Phuwin sneezed a couple of times driving back to work, no one needed to know, especially not his boyfriend.

Meu senso de urgência é você comigo, vem viver um pico de felicidade // My sense of urgency is you with me, come live a peak of happiness 

“Take your meds now so I can see it.” Pond exclaimed, holding a cup of water right in front of Phuwin’s face.

“You’re exaggerating,” Phuwin told him, grabbing the cup and swallowing his pill, despite thinking it wasn't really necessary. “I sneezed just a couple of times last night.”

After his schedule was done at Nakhon Nayok, Phuwin drove back to Pond’s place, as his boyfriend insisted on it. Unfortunately, that meant Pond became aware of the fact that his allergies flared up a bit after buying him the sunflower. 

He sneezed during the night and kept waking up to Pond looking at him with worried eyes. Now, the morning after, his boyfriend insisted that he should take more allergy pills and had placed the flower on his balcony, forbidding Phuwin to go there. 

Pond grabbed the cup back and walked to his kitchen, speaking loudly so Phuwin could hear him. “I told you time and time again I would rather never see a flower again than see you have an allergic reaction.” 

“Love, I am feeling fine now. I didn’t even get red eyes or rashes. It was just a few sneezes, probably just because the pollen spread a little inside my car.”

Pond came back from the kitchen with an uncharacteristically angry expression. “I am serious, Phuwin. I did love the flower, and I appreciate you getting it for me, but it could have been worse.”

Phuwin knew that; he also knew that his boyfriend had a good argument and was only mad because he worries too much about him. But none of that mattered now, because Phuwin was having a hard time focusing on the issue at hand. 

It’s just that Pond looks really attractive when he’s angry, and that does not happen very often. 

“I know, I will try not to be careless again, but I really can't focus right now. You’re really hot when you’re mad.” 

Pond gave him a stern look, which definitely didn't help. “Phuwin.”

He walked closer to the other, grabbing his face and caressing his cheeks. “I promise I will prepare myself better next time, or I won’t get you flowers at all. Is that better?”

“Fine. I just worry about you.” His boyfriend sighed. 

“I know, my love. I am sorry for worrying you. I promise I feel okay now.” 

“Okay, you haven’t sneezed since you woke up, so I believe you.” Pond placed one hand on top of Phuwin’s.

“I really wish I could make out with you right now.” Phuwin told him, feeling a bit insane in the head, as usual.

Pond laughed. “I can’t believe that me being slightly annoyed at you makes you horny, but it doesn't surprise me.” 

“I told you. You get very hot when you’re mad.” He explained. “And it doesn't happen very often.”

“I am a chill person, what can I do?” 

“Get angry more often so I can jump your bones?” Phuwin suggested. 

“You’re ridiculous.” The other chuckled. 

Phuwin laughed, taking a step back. As much as he wanted to kiss Pond silly now, he couldn’t. The other was just about to leave. “Save that annoyed face for later, it’s a shame you have work now.”

“You need to calm down, but yeah, it really is.” Pond walked closer to the door, leaning down to put his shoes on. “I can drive here to grab you so we can have lunch together after my meeting is done.” 

“Sounds good, we have the Bonchon event later, so it’s easier to drive together.” 

“Exactly.” Pond put on his jacket and was getting ready to open the door.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” Phuwin told him, noticing his boyfriend had forgotten to take his car keys from the side table.

“Ah, yes, sorry.” Pond swiftly pulled Phuwin closer, pecking his lips. 

He laughed, delighted by the misreading of the situation. “I meant your car keys, silly.” He pointed to it.

“Oh…” Pond’s ears burned in embarrassment.

“But I’m happy you misunderstood it.” He caressed his boyfriend’s face.

“Shut up. See you later, I love you.” Pond quickly grabbed his keys before opening the door.

“Love you, too.” Phuwin laughed.

Pond left the apartment with flaming red ears and a smile on his face.

The rest of the morning passed quickly. They had lunch together and decided to spend the rest of their afternoon killing time until they had to go to their event at Bonchon. 

Killing time meant making out intensely in the backseat of Pond’s car. 

The car was parked in a very secluded area where they would not be seen. Phuwin was currently straddling his boyfriend’s lap and kissing him furiously, while Pond held his waist tightly.

“I’m so happy we have a little while before the event.” He said in between kisses, grabbing a handful of his boyfriend’s hair. “I really needed to make out with you.”

Pond pulled him closer, licking his mouth. “Try not to mess me up too much, I don’t wanna receive questioning looks by the Bonchon make-up staff.”

He just hummed, with no actual intention to listen to the other. Their lips connected again, tongues intertwining, wet noises filling up the car. 

Was it a stupid idea to be doing this? Yes. Did Phuwin have no self-control after ruminating about angry Pond the entire morning? Also, yes. 

The minute they were alone and with no immediate responsibilities, he couldn’t help himself from jumping his boyfriend.

Phuwin grinded faintly against his boyfriend, whimpering softly. “Fuck, it’s so unfair how crazy you make me feel.”

“You just have too much desire inside of you.” Pond kissed his jaw. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“This is why I can’t make eye contact with you in public for too long, what if I lose it out of nowhere?” He felt Pond’s lips travelling down, kissing and licking his neck. 

“You should work on that.” Pond sucked his neck lightly, not leaving any marks. 

Phuwin moaned. “You should work me up.” 

Pond chuckled, lifting his head to stare at his boyfriend. “I don’t think you need help with that.”

Phuwin just pulled him back in, kissing him deeply and shutting him up.

They couldn’t do much more than that, even if they wanted to. So they slowed their pace and began kissing each other leisurely. 

This was enough to satisfy Phuwin after what happened in the morning. Pond is absolutely correct when he said he has too much desire inside of him. At least he isn’t as bad as he used to be a few years back, so that should count for something. 

A while later, they had their event for the Korean fried chicken restaurant. It was hosted by P’Leo, which meant they got teased relentlessly throughout it.

The man really got Phuwin as he questioned him about their shyness towards one another. Phuwin thought he was being reasonable as he explained that the closer you become, the more shy you feel.

That’s how he felt towards Pond, at least. It used to be much easier to tease the other and do skinship with him when they were not as close as they are now. He used to be way bolder a few years back. 

P’Leo called him out on it, saying none of that made any sense, as usually it’s the other way around for friends. 

Of course, Phuwin knew it was obvious that he was shyer now because his feelings for Pond had changed, but he couldn’t admit that. 

It was much easier to tease the other when all they had was a situationship based on how attracted they were to one another. It was undoubtedly based on real feelings, yes, but they just liked each other back then.

They liked each other very much, but it all revolved around exploration and mainly physical attraction. 

Now, that feeling has evolved into genuine love for each other. They were head over heels in love, and that feeling definitely caused all of this timidness between them. 

Phuwin couldn’t find other words to explain himself without saying too much, and that’s when Pond said something that would sit with him even after the event was over.

“We used to feel nothing towards each other. It was basically just blank.” 

“Ouch, that’s harsh.” He laughed, thinking back on how it was absolutely not blank for him in the beginning. 

He ignored it for the time being, and the conversation continued. 

After the event finished, both of them made their way back to Pond’s place. Chatting mindlessly about things until they were sitting on Pond’s bed.

Phuwin refused to cuddle his boyfriend and was now resting against the headboard, arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

Pond looked at him with a confused expression, arms still open in invitation. “What’s wrong, teerak?”

“So you were completely and totally blank back then, huh? Me and nothing was the very same thing?” 

His boyfriend dropped his arms, an amused expression on his face now. “Were you holding that inside the entire time?”

“I was sitting on the information I was given.” He side-eyed the other. “Thinking of how you didn’t care for me at all.” 

Pond scooted closer, one hand now caressing Phuwin’s crossed arms. “Babe, I just meant we didn’t really have feelings for each other back then. Not like we have now.”

“Back then.” He mumbled angrily. “How far back? ‘Cause we teased each other a lot back when you were literally sleeping with me after Never Let Me Go.”

“Of course, I meant before that.” Pond managed to uncross the other’s arms and was now holding both of Phuwin’s hands on his. “I told you time and time again I liked you during those days. We had very open conversations about our feelings, especially after our fight.”

Phuwin knew he was right. He knows their journey and never actually doubted any of that, even after hearing his boyfriend earlier that day. Still, he needed to be a bit dramatic over this because blank?! Really? That is just too much. 

“Still… blank?!” He said, as if it were a curse word. “Once we met, you really looked at me and… and… nothing? Nothing at all. I was just another irrelevant person to you.” 

“Babe,” Pond let go of his hands to hold his boyfriend’s face instead. “I don’t remember exactly what passed through my mind when I met you. We worked well together. You were the only one I could see being my partner. You were very cute and seemed nice, but you were also young, I wasn’t sure of my sexuality, and I didn’t think you’d turn out to be the love of my life.”

Phuwin pouted at him, feeling a bit less annoyed after hearing that.

“You were never irrelevant to me. It just took me a little while to see you in a different light and understand myself. Understand you, as well.” He explained honestly. “So when I told P’Leo that, it simply meant that in the beginning of our relationship as partners, I didn’t have romantic feelings for you.”

“I knew that.” Phuwin sighed. “You told me you started liking me while we filmed Never Let Me Go, which was quite confusing for you as we were not in the best of terms then.”

Pond caressed his face softly. “Yeah, my feelings were a bit of a mess back then, you are well aware of that. But they only grew more and more as time passed. Now I can’t see my life without you.” 

Phuwin couldn’t keep his angry face on any longer. He felt his expression softening, but still didn’t say a word.

“I’m sorry if my choice of words bothered you. I won’t say that again.” Pond leaned closer to him, nuzzling his cheek. “Can you stop being mad now?”

He held back a smile, but immediately hugged his boyfriend. “Fine.”

“I love you so, so, so, so much.” Pond kissed his cheeks a couple of times. “You know that.”

Phuwin pushed his boyfriend back a little. “I think it bothered me cause I obviously had a crush on you since early on, even if I didn’t realise it myself for a long while. So… yeah.”

“You fell first, I fell harder.” Pond chuckled. 

“Debatable,” Phuwin said with a stoic face. 

“Smile for me now, please?” Pond leaned closer, just to peck his nose. 

“Don’t want to.” Phuwin turned his head to the side, a pout still on his face.

His boyfriend laughed. “You’re such a brat sometimes.”

He turned to lock eyes with Pond, face reading ‘what are you gonna do about it’.

“You’re lucky I know exactly how to tame you.” Pond whispered, leaning in for a heated kiss. 

Phuwin thought it was ironic how he started the day wanting to make out with his boyfriend because Pond was annoyed, and now his day finished the other way around. Funny how life works. Still, in both ways, he got exactly what he desired in the end.

Ai, quem me dera só você na minha rotina. Ai, quem me dera só você na minha retina, o tempo todo // Oh, how I wish it was only you in my routine. Oh, how I wish it were only you that I could see, all the time 

Phuwin felt the bed moving under him. He groaned and held tighter to it, wanting to make it stop so he could go back to sleep. 

He heard a sigh close by, and the mattress moved again, making him whine in annoyance.

“Why are you making it so difficult?” A familiar voice whispered. 

“Shut up, let me sleep.” He complained, getting himself comfortable against the stupid moving mattress.

“Sorry, teerak.” He finally identified the voice as Pond’s. “I tried very hard not to wake you up, but you wouldn’t let go of me.”

Seeing he wasn’t going to be allowed to go back into slumber, he opened his eyes. It took him a little while to focus and realise he was actually lying on top of his boyfriend’s chest.

Ah, that makes more sense. He thought. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asked the other, hugging him closer as a way to prevent Pond from leaving. 

“I was planning to go for a run,” Pond explained, hands now caressing Phuwin’s hair. “Jet lag got to me, and I can’t manage to fall back asleep.” 

They were currently in New York for a fanmeeting scheduled for the next day. They had landed the day before, and Phuwin was not affected whatsoever by the time difference, but Pond couldn’t say the same. 

“Want me to join you?” Phuwin yawned loudly.

Pond chuckled, nuzzling his face. “I’d rather you sleep more. You deserve the rest.” 

“But you’re not gonna be here with me.” He whined, his sleepy state making him more clingy. 

“You cuddled me all night long. Is that not enough?” 

He shook his head against Pond’s chest. “No.”

It was actually rather rare for them to snuggle all night long. Usually, Pond moving around would make Phuwin curl by the side. 

His boyfriend sniffed his hair; it smelled citrusy. “Babe, I’ll be back before you’re up again, I promise.”

“Just give me five minutes to come to my senses, and I’ll join you.” Phuwin held him tight. 

Pond sighed again, knowing nothing would change Phuwin’s mind. “We can just go have breakfast then, I was gonna exercise just because you were still asleep.” 

“Okay.” That sounded better. Phuwin was still too sleepy for a run. 

Truthfully, he would rather go back to sleep than leave the hotel in search of food in what he was sure were ungodly hours. 

But he also wanted to spend time with Pond on their free day, and as he was awake now, he decided to join his boyfriend. He could use the following days to sleep in; maybe Pond’s jet lag would fade away soon.

He opened his eyes again, not even realising he had closed them. “Wanna invite the others to go with us if they’re up?”

William and Est were there as well. They also had a fanmeeting just a few hours after their own. 

“It’s 5:15 am, though. What if I wake them up?”

He knew it was ungodly hours, the things he does for this man. 

“Just shoot them a text, maybe they have jet lag too.” Phuwin said, gathering courage to get up. 

Pond grabbed his phone and sent the messages, not really sure if he would get a reply. “There, if they reply before we leave, then we go together.”

Phuwin nodded, head facing up to be able to see his boyfriend’s face. “Okay. Now give me a morning kiss, and I’ll get up.” 

“You’re so spoiled.” Pond said, leaning over to give him a peck on the lips despite his words.

“You’re the reason why.” Phuwin smiled, finally letting go of the other and getting off the bed. 

He got ready to leave in just a few minutes, washing his face with cold water in an attempt to force his sleepiness away. 

In the end, neither William nor Est replied to Pond’s texts, which meant they left the hotel by themselves in search of a place to eat. 

The cold morning air was helping Phuwin stay alert. The streets were still mostly empty; he guessed it would change in just a couple of minutes, as people started waking up for work. 

Most places were still closed, but luckily, they found a cosy-looking coffee shop a few streets down that, for whatever reason, was open so early in the morning. They decided to have something there. The place was warm and smelled of freshly-brewed coffee. 

After getting two sandwiches and a cup of coffee each, they found a table far in the back, hidden away by large plants. 

“I will admit I was skeptical of my own decision to join you this early,” Phuwin said, taking a sip of his drink. “But I’m glad I did. This is nice.”

Pond smiled softly at him. “I still think you should’ve slept in, but I’m happy you’re here with me. This is way better than running around in the cold by myself.” 

“Can’t guarantee it will happen again if your jet lag continues, though.” Phuwin wouldn’t be able to function properly if he kept waking up so damn early. 

“It’s okay, you can just stay in bed, and I’ll make sure to be back once you’re up.” 

“If you’re not there when I wake up, I’ll text you, and you better come back quickly.” He threatened his boyfriend, with no real bite in his words. 

“I’ll drop whatever I’m doing and come back to you.” Pond took a bite of his sandwich, leaving a couple of crumbs on his lips.

Phuwin reached over to clean it, without even thinking twice. It was so amusing to him how he saw Pond’s ears flame up instantly. 

He chuckled. “You really can’t deal with me being affectionate, huh?” 

“I think I just like it too much, and my body can't hide that.” Pond refused to make eye contact with him. Apparently, the mug was much more interesting to look at. 

“I enjoy how you get, so I hope it never changes.” Phuwin bumped the other’s leg with his knee. 

Pond smiled to himself, drinking his coffee and bumping Phuwin’s leg back. 

“What do you wanna do later? We don’t have anything scheduled today.” Phuwin asked his boyfriend. 

“Do you wanna have a date with me?” Pond gave him an excited look.

He looked too cute, so happy like that, Phuwin wanted to squish his face. “Is this not what we’re doing now?” 

Pond stopped to think for a second, making Phuwin laugh. “No. This is just us being domestic. An actual date is different.” 

“I see.” Phuwin’s heart warmed at that. This was just them going about their life as a couple. Pond was right. A planned date was a different manner. “Where do you wanna take me then?”

Pond sipped his coffee as he thought about it. “How about the zoo? I heard the staff saying it was a pretty cool place to go.” 

“Did you ask them about places to take me?” Phuwin teased him.

Pond’s ear got even redder. “No.” 

Phuwin just gave him a look. He knew the other too well; he was clearly lying.

“Fine… kind of.” Pond confessed. “I knew we had today off and wanted to do something with you, so I asked them yesterday if they knew nice places we could go to.”

Phuwin reached over, holding Pond’s forearm and caressing it. “That’s cute.”

“Stop it, if I get any redder, I might explode.” 

Phuwin laughed loudly, retracting his hand and holding his mug instead. “I would love to go on a date to the zoo with you.” 

Pond beamed widely. “Nice! It’ll only open in a couple of hours, so we can stroll around for a while before we go.” 

“I wish we could have more days like this,” Phuwin said with a sigh. “Just me, you, and nothing much in the schedule. Free to do whatever we feel like together.”

“I know,” Pond took a sip, lost in thought. “We will have two days off after we go back home… maybe we could plan a little escape from everything.” 

“Sounds like a good idea.” Phuwin agreed, already thinking of things they could do.

They finished their breakfast feeling incredibly at ease. It really was healing to spend time like this with Pond. Sometimes, just a couple of hours like this during the day were enough to recharge Phuwin for weeks. 

At some point, Pond’s phone buzzed with Est’s message. Their friend asked why the hell they were out and about so damn early in the morning, and why couldn’t they have waited a little so the other two could join. Quickly after adding a ‘nevermind, i know why… william said: have fun being gay or whatever’.

Phuwin just laughed and left it for Pond to reply. William and Est had heard the news of them dating just the day before; it was quite funny how both of them reacted. 

Est just looked like he had been waiting for this for years, and was now immensely relieved it had happened. While William, well, he screamed very loudly and panicked at the thought of accidentally saying something about it. 

Pond had to reassure him that even if he did, they could play it off as William teasing them. That’s the beauty of dating your on-screen BL partner. Things could easily be explained off as teasing or fan service.

Before they could leave the coffee shop, Phuwin received a video call from his best friend.

“Phuwin! I miss you.” Fourth yelled at him through the phone.

“Fot, it’s like 6 am here, can you chill a bit?” Phuwin frowned. 

“Oh shit, my bad.” Fourth apologised. “Why are you up then?”

Phuwin simply turned the screen to show Pond on the video call. He was sure that was answer enough. 

“Hey Pond! Did you wake Phuwin up?” Fourth asked.

Pond smiled. “Pretty much. I have jet lag and woke up too early. I tried leaving without Phuwin noticing, but failed.”

Phuwin moved his chair closer to his boyfriend so both of them could appear on screen. Once he looked at his phone, he saw Fourth with his teasing smile on.

“Were you guys cuddling?” Ever since they told Fourth about their relationship, the boy had been even more annoying about it. He would tease Phuwin at every chance he got.

Phuwin just gave him an annoyed look, but he saw Pond’s face getting red on the screen. 

“Yeah.” Pond replied, too honest sometimes for his own good. 

“You don’t have to answer him,” Phuwin said, turning to look at his boyfriend. “That’s why I always need to fact-check with you what you’re allowed to tell people on interviews.” 

Fourth laughed loudly. “He is going to out you guys by accident someday.” 

“Only if you don’t do it first by teasing the hell out of me.” Phuwin turned back to his phone.

“No one would believe me. I could publicly say you guys are dating, and people would laugh it off as a joke.” Fourth told him, and Phuwin knew he was right. 

“Yeah, unless we say it ourselves through an official statement, no one will take it seriously.” Pond agreed.

“Why are you calling me?” Phuwin asked, changing the subject.

“I missed you! I wanted to see you, but then remembered you’re away.” He pouted.

Phuwin felt Pond moving closer to him, one of his arms circling Phuwin’s back. It was still funny to him how sometimes Pond would get possessive of him over Fourth. 

It always seemed like something he didn’t even notice, as if any time anyone was even remotely affectionate to Phuwin, something snapped inside of him. 

He had already told his boyfriend time and time again that Fourth was just his friend and never in a million years would that change. 

Also, it would never work. They are both bottoms, what are they gonna do? Knock their asses together? 

Regardless, no matter who brought his boyfriend’s possessive side out, Phuwin always loved it when it happened. 

“It’ll be a couple of days before I’m back, and even then I think I’ll be busy.” Phuwin said sadly, wishing he could spend more time with his best friend.

Fourth pouted. “Weren’t you going to have two days off?”

“He’s gonna be busy then.” Pond intervened, hand resting on Phuwin’s waist. 

“But you guys are hanging out the entire time he’s away,” Fourth complained. “Lend me your boyfriend for a day, please?” 

“Can’t do.” 

Phuwin laughed at their conversation. “Anyone wanna hear my opinion on this, or you guys are gonna fill up my schedule by yourselves?” 

“Sorry, teerak.” Pond gave him an apologetic look.

Fourth squealed on the other side because of the pet name. “He called you teerak.”

Phuwin rolled his eyes. “I’m aware. He does that, he’s my boyfriend.” 

“If only you knew what Phuwin calls me, you would go mad.” Pond commented, earning himself a slap on the shoulder. 

“Don’t you dare tell him.”

“Oh my god, you can’t do this to me! My curiosity is going to kill me.” Fourth exclaimed.

“Anyways,” Phuwin said pointedly. “Going back to our previous conversation. Sorry, Fot. Pond is right, I will be busy on those days.” 

Pond beamed triumphantly at the screen. 

“That’s so unfair. Can’t believe you’re one of those people who ditch their friends when they start dating.”

“We met a few days ago. Stop being dramatic.” Phuwin had met Fourth and Satang just the other day. They even did a livestream together.

“Fine, but you'd better meet me soon, or I’ll miss you too much.” 

As soon as Fourth said that, Pond leaned closer and kissed Phuwin on the cheek. 

“What was that for?” Phuwin laughed, surprised by the situation. They’re never really affectionate in front of their friends. Usually, the most they do is hold hands.

“Just marking my territory.” Pond sent Fourth a look.

“Holy shit.” Fourth screeched. “I’m telling everyone about this.” 

“Bye, Fourth, we have to go now.” Pond said, picking Phuwin’s phone from his hands. 

“Bye, Phuwin. Text me when you’re free.” Fourth waved at them. “Bye, Phuwin’s boyfriend.” 

Phuwin waved back at his friend, watching in amusement as his boyfriend ended the call. 

“You’re so attractive when you’re possessive.” Phuwin told him, leaning closer toward his boyfriend.

Pond blushed, his arm still circling Phuwin’s waist. “Shut up. I can’t help myself sometimes.”

“I’m not telling you to stop.” Phuwin chuckled. 

His boyfriend just looked at him, seemingly unsure of what to say. 

Phuwin almost leaned forward to kiss him, but he remembered something about their conversation and quickly changed his expression to a scowl.

“Just so you know, I’m not calling you my love for a week.” He said, annoyed at how his boyfriend almost exposed him.

Pond gasped dramatically. “You can’t do this to me.”

Descer pra praia, pular a onda, um beijo lento numa tarde longa // Go to the beach, jump over the waves, a slow kiss in a long afternoon

In the end, they decided to escape to the beach on their days off. 

Phuwin had a trip to Japan with his friends in a couple of days, and unfortunately, Pond wouldn’t be able to join, even if he had been invited and was supposed to go before work got in the way.

As a way to compensate for it, Pond booked a house in a more remote area south of Hua Hin. That way, they would have more privacy than if they booked a hotel in the city. 

The house was small and cosy, its backyard had direct access to the beach, and the location was perfect. It was the last house on the street. On its right side, there was only a small mountain, and on its left, the neighbouring house was quite a few feet away and appeared to be vacant.

It was high season for beach holidays, the climate was hot and usually dry, but luck seemed to be on their side this time around. 

They had arrived right after lunchtime, as the check-in was at 2 pm. Phuwin had immediately gone to the bathroom to get changed into his swim shorts. 

He was happy to see his boyfriend was ready as well once he left the washroom. He was holding a straw beach mat and a tote bag with everything they needed to spend the afternoon in the sand. 

“Did you get my sunglasses?” Phuwin asked, looking around to see if he could find them.

“Yep. They’re already in the bag, teerak.” Pond smiled at him. “I also have your allergy meds. It’s quite warm today, even if it’s cloudy out.”

Phuwin walked closer, grabbing his boyfriend’s face and pecking his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” The other whispered, dazed. “So much.”

“Let’s go.” Phuwin told him with a smile. One hand grabbed the mat so he could free and then hold his boyfriend’s hand to guide him out of the house. 

They made their way towards the beach, aiming to get a nice spot to chill for a while. 

It was the middle of the week, and the day was cloudy, rain clouds slowly forming on the horizon. That meant the beach was pretty much empty now. 

As they were located right by one of its ends, Phuwin could see clearly how there were only a couple of people around, all of them quite spread apart. 

He could make out a group of friends a few miles away, playing with a frisbee, but couldn’t see them clearly. The rest of the people were barely even visible. Most of them were gathered by the opposite side of the beach, closer to the street market.

That should give them a bit of privacy. He walked closer to the edge of the mountain, placing the straw mat on the sand right by a few big rocks, concealing them even further from others. 

He kicked his flip flops off and sat down on the mat, patting the spot next to him and smiling at his boyfriend. “I think this spot is good, sit here with me.” 

Pond beamed at him, placing the tote bag close by and sitting down. 

Phuwin sighed heavily, staring at the ocean, watching the waves hit the shore. “You know… this brings back so many memories.” 

He felt Pond moving closer to him, their arms brushing against each other. “I think the beach will always have a deeper meaning for us, for our relationship. It’s where we decided to stay together.” 

“Yeah…” He thought back to the time they were filming Never Let Me Go, and back to the interview they just did while they were in the USA. “I think I still resented it a little. Not you or me, but the situation itself. Even after all this time. I feel free from that now that we did the interview and talked about everything.” 

“Me too.” Pond placed his hand on top of Phuwin’s, caressing it softly as they enjoyed the view in front of them. 

He was referring to their fight back in those days. A few days back, they had done an interview on the Zach Sang Show, where they finally opened up about their struggles back in that time. It was freeing to talk about it, as he knew they had a reputation for never having big arguments with one another. 

In the grand scheme of things, that was still partially true. They weren’t really explosive, and never had a really bad fight where they refused to speak to each other or anything like that.

They still argued, though. Everyone does at some point if they have a long-lasting relationship. 

But the worst it got was when they lacked respect for one another, for their time, their work, and their goals. That incident made them sulk for a while. It made them scared that it could mean everything was going to end. 

It was never said out loud, that fear. But they knew the other had thought about it. Thought that at the time, if the situation got any worse, they could’ve just called it quits. 

In the end, them being open about everything really helped. They always had great communication with each other, and that’s why they were able to come so far. Even when they’re sulking, they still make the effort to talk it through after they give each other time to process everything. 

Phuwin never thought it was anyone’s business if they argued or not. He always stood firm on the fact that this was their private matter, and no one else had to know.

But it started to weigh him down a little, seeing how everyone had this impression of their relationship being perfect and without misunderstandings. He felt like he was tricking them in some way and that his relationship was being put on a pedestal that wasn’t entirely truthful. 

He likes to be honest with others as much as he can while still protecting his privacy and personal matters, so he was glad they had shared this now. It felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. 

He moved closer to Pond, resting his head on the other’s shoulder. “I’m so glad we made it all work out. I can’t see my life without you.” 

Pond moved his arm to embrace him, bringing him closer. “Being with you and fighting for this relationship to last is the best decision I've ever made.”

“It’s the best decision we continue to make,” Phuwin agreed. “It may not be easy sometimes, but it’s so worth it.” 

His boyfriend sniffed his hair, resting his head on top of Phuwin’s. “It is. Loving you is incredibly worth it.” 

Phuwin moved away from his boyfriend, turning to stare at him deeply in the eyes. “I love you so damn much, Nara.”

Pond smiled at him, honest and full of love. “I love you too, Phuwin. With all my heart.”

Both leaned closer at the same time, kissing each other slowly and gently. The kiss felt like it lasted a lifetime. It felt like it conveyed all their journey together until they got to where they are now. 

They separated with a contented sigh, leaning their foreheads against one another and noses touching lightly and softly.

Phuwin felt like he could cry. Maintaining their position for a while, just enjoying being there and sharing this moment with Pond.

After what felt like years, they leaned back, opening their eyes and smiling like fools in love. 

“God, you make me feel so much I don’t know what to do with myself sometimes.” Pond told him. 

He could relate. “I know… It’s like my heart is about to explode inside of me.” 

The feeling was still too much, Phuwin wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and lay down, bringing the other along with him. 

Pond hovered on top of him, their eye contact so full of love that it was taking Phuwin’s breath away. 

“Can you just kiss me slowly again? Like you have all the time in the world to love me?” Phuwin asked, feeling like he was floating. 

“I do have all the time in the world to love you, I have the rest of my life to love you, and I will do exactly that.” Pond leaned down, taking his lips on his leisurely. 

They kissed their afternoon away, slowly and steadily. Relaxing in the other’s embrace, once their lips were swollen and red, but inevitably kissing again after a while.

Pond lay on top of Phuwin for hours. He always felt so safe and comfortable like this. The weight of Pond’s body always seemed to calm him down and ground him. The warmth of his body always enveloped him and made him relax in a way nothing else could. 

At some point, Phuwin napped, arms wrapped around his boyfriend the entire time. 

He woke up later feeling more rested than he had in a long while. His boyfriend was still on top of him, like a weighted blanket. 

Phuwin moved a little, needing to stretch now. Pond understood immediately and rolled away from him, lying down on his side and stretching his arms and legs. 

“I feel so incredibly rested now.” Phuwin said, sitting up and stretching his arms. 

“I feel recharged and happy.” Pond smiled at him, getting up and offering his hand so Phuwin would do the same.

He grabbed his boyfriend’s hand and allowed himself to be pulled up. He got up way too quickly and lost his balance, falling onto Pond and holding onto him to prevent himself from falling. 

“You wanna jump me already?” Pond joked.

Phuwin slapped his chest, moving away from him. “Shut up.”

His boyfriend laughed loudly. “What do you wanna do now, if not jump me, then? It’s still pretty early for dinner.”

It was late afternoon now, the sky was coloured with pretty shades of pink, orange and purple against dark blue rain clouds that refused to let go of the rain.

“The rain surprisingly still hasn’t fallen, wanna go to the ocean before it does?”

“We shouldn’t go too deep into it. If the rain starts and there is lightning, it won’t be safe. Promise me it’ll only be by our ankles.” Pond had a serious face on, always too preoccupied with Phuwin’s well-being. 

“I promise, my love.” Phuwin grabbed his hand and started dragging him towards the sea. 

The water was quite warm, making it more tempting for him to go against what he had just agreed with Pond. He wouldn’t, the rain was really about to fall any minute now, so he would have to be content with just a few minutes on the shoreline.

They played around like children, jumping the waves, throwing water at one another and intentionally making the other fall into the water. 

Both of them were now drenched from head to toe, laughing loudly and feeling immensely free. The drops of summer rain started to fall onto them, and before Pond could grab him and take him away, Phuwin pulled him close for a kiss.

He embraced his boyfriend tightly in his arms, licking into his mouth and feeling the rain get heavier and heavier around them.

Pond reciprocated enthusiastically until he heard the first lightning strike. He immediately untangled himself from Phuwin’s arms and unceremoniously pulled his boyfriend out of the water. 

“Fuck! You distracted me, and now there’s lightning, and our stuff is all wet by the rocks.” He exclaimed, running towards the mat on the sand, taking Phuwin with him the entire way. 

Phuwin laughed. “It’s okay. It was only one lightning, and our phones are inside the house. There’s nothing here that couldn’t get wet.” 

Pond grabbed everything quickly with one hand, putting his flip flops back on and waiting for Phuwin to do the same, before continuing to drag him along with him towards the house.

“You fucking seduced me and now this tote bag is completely drenched.” Pond complained, making Phuwin laugh even harder.

They reached the covered back of the house, and only then did Pond let go of his hand. 

“Nara, it’s okay.” He smiled, petting his boyfriend’s wet hair. 

Pond pouted, opening the bag and seeing their towels, sunglasses, and a bottle of sunscreen completely wet. He grabbed the box of Phuwin’s allergy meds; it was all wobbly now. “At least the pills survived inside the plastic container.”

Phuwin walked towards a sink on the wall next to the back door, opening it and cleaning the sand off his feet. “See, I told you there was nothing there that couldn’t get wet.”

Pond sighed in relief, joining Phuwin and washing his feet as well. “For a minute, I really thought I had put my phone inside the bag, and I panicked.”

Another lightning strike made Pond jump a little.

“You’re adorable, getting spooked by the noise.”

Pond kicked his ankle lightly. “It’s very loud.” He pouted again.

Phuwin leaned closer and pecked his cheek. “Let’s go in, it’ll be less loud inside.”

Pond refused to shower until the thunder and lightning went away, so they just sat down by the glass door and watched the rain pass by. 

To prevent him from getting sick, as they were still wet, Pond spent the entire time drying his boyfriend’s hair and body. Allowing Phuwin to do the same for him. 

Phuwin loved to spend time with his boyfriend like this. Nothing much going on, no schedule, no worry about time. Just them and the opportunity to do anything for as long as they desired. Like watching a summer storm for almost an hour while they hold each other close. 

Um ponto de paz e tesão longe das luzes neon // A place of peace and lust away from the neon lights

Pond’s head was lying on top of Phuwin’s lap. They had showered and eaten and were now on top of the bed just enjoying each other’s company.

The other was reading a book related to university, and Phuwin was scrolling through his phone with one hand and caressing his boyfriend’s hair with the other.

“I think if I read more, my brain will melt.” Pond sighed, placing the book down on the bed. 

Phuwin locked his phone and left it aside, looking down at his boyfriend’s face. “I think you read enough for today. It’s our free time after all, you should be paying attention to me instead.”

“You were on Twitter before I started reading.” Pond raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Whatever,” Phuwin mumbled, holding Pond’s face in his hands and leaning down to give him an upside-down kiss. 

He felt Pond smiling into it, hand coming up to grab Phuwin’s neck and pull him closer. 

Phuwin deepened their kiss, tongues meeting together in a different angle than usual. He enjoyed kissing like this. It was so distinct, yet so pleasant at the same time.

He disconnected their mouths, moving to nuzzle Pond’s nose with his. 

“I love it when you kiss me like this.” His boyfriend said. “It makes me–”

“Makes you feel like Spider-Man, I’m aware.” He interrupted, his boyfriend is so predictable. 

Pond laughed. “You know me too well.” 

“You’re such a nerd.” He exclaimed, moving to peck the other’s lips. 

“You like my nerdy side.” 

He gave him another peck. “I like every side of you.”

Pond beamed, moving from his position and sitting up in front of Phuwin. “What’s your favourite?”

Phuwin reclined against the bed headboard, pretending to think. “I don’t know.”

Pond leaned closer to him, his voice sounding lower now. “I think I know.” 

“Oh yeah?” He raised his eyebrows. “Tell me then.”

“The side that kisses you,” He pecked Phuwin’s lips. “The side that touches you,” He held his waist tight, bringing the other’s body close. “The side that undresses you,” He pulled Phuwin’s shirt up, taking it off and throwing it away. “The side that fucks you.” 

“That’s a lot of sides.” He whispered, grabbing Pond’s shoulder, feeling desire burn inside of him already. 

“Those are all the same, they’re all from my boyfriend side.” 

“I do love your boyfriend side the most.” Phuwin pulled him close, licking into the other’s mouth. 

He has experienced all sides of Pond. From his nerdy side to his popular side. His comedic and his emotional side. His friend and his friend with benefits side. From all of them, his lover side was indeed the best one. 

Especially when he is fulfilling his duties like this. 

They made out for a little while, but they had already kissed until their lips were swollen earlier that day, and Phuwin was eager to get to the next level. 

Clothes were thrown away to the ground, and Phuwin was now lying down on the bed with his boyfriend hovering above him, kissing him as if his life depended on it. 

Pond’s hands were already covered in lube, his fingers dancing around Phuwin’s entrance in a teasing manner. 

“Please,” Phuwin whimpered, arms crossed around Pond’s neck, one hand deep into his boyfriend’s hair. 

He felt one finger being inserted into him, a shuddering breath leaving his mouth. 

“I will make you feel so good tonight, babe.” Pond whispered against his lips. “But only if you’re vocal about what you want.”

Phuwin isn’t the most vocal in bed. That usually only happens when he drinks, even the smallest amount. That night, he hadn’t drunk anything other than soda. 

Still, Pond loved it when he expressed himself in bed. It always made him hornier. Sometimes, he would ask Phuwin if he could let go a little, in order to give him what he wanted. 

“Could you do that for me, baby?” Pond asked, another finger being added and making Phuwin whimper softly. 

“Yeah, I can.” He answered. He would gladly agree whenever this happened. Wasn’t often enough, and it never made him uncomfortable. 

He just needed to make an effort to remember to talk. The reason he is never that vocal is mainly that he usually loses himself in pleasure, and all he can do is moan. 

There are some things that he’s embarrassed to say as well, but the thrill of saying them sometimes is exhilarating. 

“What do you want?” Pond would always help him through it by asking questions or making demands. Phuwin thought that was very hot; he likes it when his boyfriend gets demanding. 

“Another finger, please.” He moaned out.

His boyfriend complied, moving his fingers around deliciously, opening him up. “Is this good?”

“So good.” His eyes were closed, and his mouth was parted slightly, a quivering breath escaping from it. “You finger me so damn good, love.” 

Moments later, Phuwin was already squirming on the bed. “I need you now. Fuck– Please, Nara.”

He felt the fingers leaving him, a sense of emptiness hitting him immediately. Before he could complain about it, he felt his boyfriend’s length filling him up.

“Oh fuuuck.” He moaned, mouth open wide and chest quickly going up and down as he tried to regulate his breathing. 

Once Pond bottomed him up, he stopped, allowing Phuwin to adjust to his size. 

“Arch up a little for me, teerak. I’ll add a pillow under you.” His boyfriend told him. 

Phuwin opened his eyes and watched as Pond did that, feeling completely cared for. He really loved him so badly. 

The overwhelming feeling of loving the other filled him up once again, he needed that man to be his for the rest of his life. 

He was feeling a bit insane in the head, desire flashing through his veins. 

“Can you–” Phuwin took a deep breath, completely adjusted now. “Can you move slowly for a while? I need to feel you completely.”

Pond’s eyes glistened with want. “Anything you want, teerak.”

He moved out of him gradually. Phuwin could feel every inch stretching him, and that was enough to make him moan loudly.

Instinctively, he closed his eyes, making his boyfriend touch his face lovingly. “Keep your eyes open. Look at me.”

Phuwin did as asked, maintaining eye contact with the other as he unhurriedly slipped back in. 

“Ah–” He whimpered, feeling his mind slipping away further from him. “Yeah, this is good.”

“I will fuck you incredibly slowly, until you beg me to move faster.” Pond’s voice sounded so deep, it made Phuwin’s erection twitch. 

“Fuck… yeah, that’s what I want.” He whined, feeling his boyfriend slip almost completely out, slowly moving back in.

The lazy movements continued, their eyes never leaving each other. Phuwin was going crazy just by watching his boyfriend’s expressions. 

His mouth, red and glistening from kissing him earlier, was parted slightly, and quiet groans would leave it from time to time. His eyebrows were furrowed, and his eyes burned with lust. He was such a delicious sight.

As he inserted himself back in painfully slowly, Pond leaned closer to touch his nose against Phuwin’s. “This is what you wanted?”

Phuwin nodded, whimpering. “Uh-huh.”

“Tell me how you want me to make you feel.” His boyfriend rolled his hips.

Phuwin’s eyes rolled up in pleasure. “I want you to make me lose my mind.”

Pond moved just a little bit faster now, in and out of him. “I’m gonna fuck you so good you will be unable to think straight.”

“Fuck–” Phuwin whined, circling his legs around his boyfriend. “Yeah, that’s what I want.”

The next thrust hit deeper, making him squirm around, a long, whiny whimper leaving his lips. 

His boyfriend’s hands were now holding his waist tightly, helping to angle his body just right. 

“Yeah, just like that.” He moaned, one hand grabbing a handful of Pond’s hair. “Faster, please.” 

Pond didn’t change his pace. “Not yet, baby. You have to beg me, remember?”

A thrill passed through Phuwin’s body. “I need you to move faster. Please? I need it so bad.” 

“Again.”

Phuwin licked his lips, biting his lower lip right after. “Nara, please fuck me faster. Please, please.”

With a sly smile, his boyfriend increased his pace a bit. “Like this?”

“Fuck–” Phuwin pulled the other’s hair. “A bit more, please. Just a little faster. Please, my love.”

His desires were listened to, the thrusts coming faster and deeper now, hitting right where he needed them to. “Ah–yes! Fuck, love, I’m so full right now.”

“You take me so well, baby. You’re so good.” Pond groaned, thrusting into him at a perfect pace. Phuwin’s entire body was moving along with it. The bed’s headboard bumping into the wall over and over again.

“Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop.” Phuwin repeated like a mantra, closing his eyes now and throwing his head to the side. 

“You feel so good.” Pond moaned, leaning down and kissing Phuwin’s neck. 

Pond was moving even faster now, and Phuwin felt himself leaking a little. He threw his head up, feeling his boyfriend licking his neck and jaw. 

“Yes, just like that. Oh fuck,” He grabbed the sheets tightly, feeling utterly lost in pleasure. 

His boyfriend moved his mouth down, kissing his chest. One of his hands moved towards Phuwin’s nipple, squeezing it lightly.

A deep moan came out of Phuwin. He was trying really hard to not come now. He wanted to last a bit longer. 

He started to roll his hips around, enhancing the pleasure he was feeling. “Yeah, keep going. Nara, oh god, Nara.” 

“Are you close, babe? Do you wanna come?” Pond’s mouth was by his ear now, nibbling it softly. 

“Yeah,” He nodded frantically. “I’m so close, I wanna come for you so bad.” 

He felt his boyfriend hold his erection in his hands, pumping it up and down. 

“Ah– ah– ah,” He couldn’t form a coherent sentence anymore, his whimpers got louder and louder, and he really needed to come. 

“You can come now, baby.” Pond said right in his ear, making Phuwin immediately lose himself with a scream of his name. 

His boyfriend kept fucking him through his release, Phuwin was feeling delighted by the overstimulation. He held Pond’s face in his hands, opening his eyes to stare at his boyfriend.

“Come inside of me, love, please.” 

He watched as Pond reached his climax, pulling him closer to kiss him senseless as Phuwin felt the release fill him up.

Vamos fugir da cidade, às vezes calmaria é bom // Let’s run away from the city, sometimes calmness is good

The bathtub water was warm once he was placed inside, his body relaxing even further. 

“Just wait a minute, and I’ll be back to be with you.” Pond told him as he exited the bathroom. 

After they had sex, Phuwin’s body went completely numb. He was out of it for a few seconds, feeling incredibly content and satisfied. Pond then decided they should take another shower, but Phuwin’s legs were still very much wobbly, and he was feeling very sleepy now.

So his boyfriend decided to fill up the tub so he could wash him. He held Phuwin in his arms and took him to the bathroom once the tub was ready. 

Phuwin was now lying against the curve of the tub, while Pond changed the sheets on the bed. Feeling empty without his boyfriend by his side.

He whined a little to himself, knowing that his clingy and whiny demeanour had taken over. That happens a lot after they make love. He gets incredibly needy for attention and affection. 

“What took you so long?” He complained as soon as he saw Pond pass through the door. 

He was still naked, and if only Phuwin wasn’t feeling like jelly right now, he would jump him again. 

Pond chuckled at him. “I was gone for just a few minutes, babe. I had to get the bed ready for you.” 

Phuwin made grabby hands towards him. “Get in with me.” 

“I was planning on just washing you so you can sleep. Are you not tired?” Pond leaned close to him, patting his head lovingly. 

“I am,” He shook his head, going against his own words. “But not enough to fall asleep immediately.”

“If you sleep in the bathtub, it’s gonna be harder to get you to bed, teerak.” Pond warned him, caressing his hair. 

“I promise I won’t sleep. We don’t have to be here for long.” He pouted. “Please?”

Pond smiled warmly at him. “Okay, but only if you let me wash you first, so we get that out of the way.”

Phuwin nodded. “Sure.”

His boyfriend washed him with care, making sure he was completely clean before getting inside the bathtub as well. He quickly washed himself before he allowed Phuwin to cuddle up with him. 

“Hold me close.” Phuwin demanded, his back against Pond’s chest and legs intertwined with his boyfriend’s. 

Pond immediately circled his arms around him, pulling him even closer. “Happy now?”

Phuwin nodded. “Very much.”

His boyfriend kissed his head, nuzzling him gently after. “I hope this was a good escape from the chaos, even if we have to drive back tomorrow morning.”

“It was exactly what I needed. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me.” Pond kissed his head again. “I just wanted us to have a little break from everything. To spend time with you without any restrictions or responsibilities.”

Phuwin leaned his head closer, resting it against Pond’s chest. “These moments we have like this are my favourite. I love working with you and meeting the fans with you, but nothing beats our quiet moments together.” 

“I agree. Being close to you like this feels like a dream sometimes.” Pond sighed softly. 

“I know I said this after the interview,” Phuwin thought back to the Zach Sang Show once more. “But I hope this meets your desires for us to be close. I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t want to be close with you.”

That day was the first time Phuwin heard Pond confess that he used to see the fans talking about their relationship as if they were really close when, in fact, they weren’t on that level yet, and Pond used to wish the fans’ words were true. 

Phuwin felt incredibly guilty about that, wondering if it was his fault that his partner felt like he couldn’t connect with him. He talked to Pond about this right after the interview, but he was still a bit shaken by it.

“Babe,” Pond’s voice sounded so incredibly sweet it made Phuwin’s heart warm. “I told you, you have nothing to apologise for. You never made me feel like that. It was on both of us that we struggled a little in the early days. We were just too different and too young to know how to handle the differences. Nowadays, I don’t see how much closer we could get. Only if you married me.” 

Phuwin blushed at the thought. “We just started officially dating, Naravit. Don’t get any ideas.” 

Pond laughed. “I know, PhuPhu. I will be content for now, marrying you as Khun Thee.” 

“You’re impossible.” Phuwin chuckled. 

Pond was correct. They had a long journey to get to where they were now, and right at this moment, they couldn’t be any closer to one another. They knew each other better than they knew themselves at this point.

“In terms of meeting my desires,” Pond continued. “I also don’t know how much more I could ask for. I mean, I quite literally am cuddling you after I fucked your brains out so…” 

Phuwin turned a little to be able to smack him. “Pond!”

His boyfriend giggled adorably. “What? I didn’t lie.” 

Phuwin gave him an angry look. “Doesn’t matter. You can’t just say things like that.”

“Okay, babe,” He pecked his lips. “I won’t say it anymore.”

“I don’t believe you for a second.” Phuwin replied, a frown still stamped on his face. 

Pond didn’t say anything, as he knew he would inevitably do it again; he just leaned closer and took Phuwin’s lips on his. 

It was really annoying how this would always make Phuwin melt away, any sign of annoyance long gone. 

They kissed leisurely for a few minutes, feeling so deeply relaxed that soon enough they could simply melt away. 

Phuwin moved to his previous position right after they separated, grabbing one of Pond’s hands and playing with it in front of his eyes. 

“I’m sorry if I didn’t really understand your struggles back then.” He got back to their conversation. “I bet I felt a lot like Nuengdiao to you.”

One of the issues they struggled with back then was the difference in their backgrounds. 

Phuwin was from a more wealthy family, with more opportunities in studying and more stability. He also worked as an actor ever since he was a kid and had very clear goals regarding his acting career. 

While Pond struggled a lot more to get by, either with his financial situation or with the fact that he lost his father at such a young age. His focus was more about making money to support his family and less about acting out of pure passion for the craft.

Young Phuwin took a while to understand that difference and what exactly it entailed in their day-to-day lives. 

“Sometimes,” Pond replied honestly. “It was hard for me to understand your point of view. I couldn’t relate to your lifestyle, and it was a bit hard to understand where you were coming from at times.”

“I’m sorry if I ever seemed like an entitled person to you.” Phuwin apologised, playing with his boyfriend’s fingers.

“You didn’t, teerak. You were very different from me, yes, but you were never an asshole about it.”

Phuwin felt like he was downplaying the situation out of love. “I know I was a bit of an asshole sometimes, my love. You can admit that, I won’t be offended.” 

Very early on, back in the Fish Upon the Sky era, he knew he was a little bit of an entitled teenager. He grew a lot since then and changed a lot, but it was important to recognise that. 

“Just a little.” Pond said, still too nice to say anything bad about his boyfriend. 

“You really helped me grow into the person I am today. For that, I can only say thank you.” 

Pond sniffed his hair. “You changed me for the better, too. I love you dearly for that.” 

Pond’s palm was wide open, allowing Phuwin to mess up his hand however he wanted. Phuwin took advantage of that to poke at it with his finger, emphasising each of his words. 

“I. Love. You. So. Damn. Much.” He said with a serious tone. Each word was one poke at his boyfriend’s palm. 

He felt his boyfriend laughing. “You’re so cute, Phuwin.” 

Phuwin held Pond’s hand tightly now, turning to face him. “I mean it. I love you in a way I never thought I could love anyone.” 

Pond smiled at him. “I love you just the same. I could die for you.” 

“I'd rather you live for me, instead.” 

“I can do that, too.” Pond pecked the tip of his nose. 

Phuwin rested his forehead against the other’s, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. “You’re my haven.”

Pond didn’t say anything; he simply pulled him close for a deep kiss full of meaning. 

Phuwin would be forever grateful for the man by his side. He would always look back at their journey with a smile on his face, knowing that they might’ve struggled on the way, but they made it work.

They would always fight for one another. Always give everything they could to keep each other close, to be able to continue loving each other for the rest of their lives. 

Love isn’t necessarily enough to keep a relationship going, but it’s the deciding factor for fighting for it. And they had enough love to make sure they would always choose to stay. 

Bonus: Não da pra ter tudo na vida // You can’t have everything in life 

On their drive back to Bangkok, Phuwin was in the passenger seat scrolling through his phone. Pond had insisted on driving this time, wanting his boyfriend to relax more.

Phuwin was still sleepy once they left the beach house, so he agreed to it. Napping for a bit at the beginning of the trip.

Now, he was wide awake and checking for any news on Twitter, relaying anything interesting he saw to his boyfriend.

“I still can’t believe you’re gonna let me go to Japan all by my lonely self.” Phuwin said, reading a tweet speculating whether Pond would join his trip or not. 

“Babe, we’ve been through this. Also, there’s like ten friends of yours who are going to be there with you.” Pond replied.

He was driving with sunglasses on, one hand on the steering wheel, another on Phuwin’s thighs. He looked so attractive that it made it hard for Phuwin to focus sometimes.

“Not the same.” He mumbled, continuing to read more tweets.

He came across a video labelled: ‘fourth exposing pondphuwin: a compilation’.

He clicked on it, getting more and more exasperated as he watched it. 

“I’m gonna kill Fourth.” He said with gritted teeth. 

Pond sent him a curious look. “What did he do now?”

“This bitch had the audacity to say multiple times in his last interviews that we’re dating. He said with those exact words! He even told everyone about you kissing my cheek on our call a few days ago.” Phuwin screamed, feeling crazy. 

His boyfriend just laughed.

“I know we joked about him being able to say we’re together because no one would believe him, but he wasn’t supposed to actually do it!” 

They hit a red light, and Pond turned to face him, an amused expression on his face. “I’m sure no one believes him. It’s fine.”

“It’s fine, my ass!” He exclaimed. “Guess you can’t have everything in life, indeed. I have a hot boyfriend, but he’s abandoning me. I have a great best friend, but he’s exposing me. Life is so messed up.”

“You’re so dramatic, teerak.” Pond chuckled, caressing his thigh.

Phuwin’s annoyance dropped just a little with the gesture, feeling his heart beating faster inside his chest. 

“Call me dramatic one more time, and I’ll revoke your ‘my love’ privileges again.” He threatened his boyfriend.

Last time, it only lasted for a few days, but he still did it. Much to Pond’s dismay.

“You can’t do that to me, again!” 

Phuwin just gave him his characteristically side-eye.

In return, Pond gave him a pleading look that undid all of Phuwin’s annoyance once more. 

“You’re so lucky I love you.”