Chapter Text
The sunset, with its golden rays bathing the room, was already giving way to the crimson hues of evening when Jungkook finally came home from work and collapsed onto the still-unmade bed. He'd left in a hurry that morning, too hurried to think about tidying the blankets or tossing his dirty clothes into the laundry basket.
Too hurried even to find two matching socks
he thought now, watching his feet stick out from the edge of the bed.
It would have been pointless to try to shift the blame or make up excuses; the alarm had done its job, ringing punctually on his phone at 7:15. At 7:20. At 7:25. And he had ignored it, tossing and turning in bed, his eyes still swollen after a night spent in front of the computer screen, game after game, lost in a space and time made of pixels, far from that room that reeked of mustiness and sweaty clothes, far from the exhausting workdays, and far from those dreams he kept foolishly clinging to. So much so that it hurt.
He'd received yet another rejection that afternoon. For a moment, he'd held his breath in hope, seeing the icon of a new email appear on his phone. He'd contacted dozens of galleries and exhibition spaces over the past few months, determined to take a step forward and step out of the shadows by staging his first photography exhibition.
He had gone to great lengths to select what he thought were his best works, photos accumulated in folder after folder on his computer over years of camera's, and yet it didn't seem to be enough. Jungkook had shrugged off the first rejection, just as he had the four that followed. Yet, email after email, phone call after text message, a thought had crept into his mind, slowly consuming him. The doubt that he wasn't good enough.
He glanced at the time on his phone screen, closed his eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, and finally got out of bed. He tossed the clothes he was wearing into yet another messy pile at the foot of the bed, slipping into a pair of gray gym pants and a simple black T-shirt.
He forced himself to cook; he didn't feel like ordering in. Or rather, he didn't feel like choosing. Scrolling through dozens of restaurants and dozens of menus, adding and removing items from the cart until he thought, "Okay, that's it."
Too much. It would have been too much for him. His mind was that exhausted.
Jungkook set the plate of creamy carbonara down on his desk and sat down in front of his computer screen. The first sound to greet him: a notification on Discord.
Rm - 21:34
- hey hey Jk
- let me know when you're free, let's play a couple of games
- I'm home alone, Jin had that famous company dinner
Jkook - 22:14
- hey Joon
- sorry, not tonight, I'm beat
- I have to finish some shit for tomorrow's deadline
Rm - 22:18
- No problem, guess that means I'll have to be productive tonight
- I was just finishing up a song
- Try not to go to sleep at dawn, JK
- You looked like a zombie last week
- Work doesn't suit you
Jkook - 22:29
- But having money in my pocket to buy Chrome Hearts clothes suits me, though 😎
- Oh, by the way, Joon
- The Boreumdal Gallery said no, they won't be exhibiting my photographs
Rm - 22:34
- I'm sorry Kook...
- Don't give up
- You'll see, that lucky email will come
Jkook - 22:39
- Or maybe I'll just stop waiting for one.
- Never mind, I'm going to get to work
- Good night Joon
He quickly closed the message window, the click of the mouse sounded almost aggressive in the silence of the room. He could still feel the disappointment and anger churning in his stomach, and for a second, the mere sight of the plate of pasta, which he'd taken a few bites of while exchanging messages, threatened to send him running to the bathroom to throw up.
I'd better get to work, I'll have even more reasons to cry if I don't send Hoseok the necessary files by tomorrow morning.
He opened the design project, checking every detail of the illustration for the umpteenth time. He picked up his graphics tablet, touching up the backgrounds with a few final brushstrokes before closing the layers and saving the final file.
[email protected] - 00:25
Good evening, Hoseok.
Attached you'll find the final illustration for the client and a link to download the high-resolution files.
See you soon,
J. Jungkook
He was about to open YouTube and spend the rest of the night in a loop of videos with no logical connection, but the reply to his email arrived unexpectedly within a few moments.
[email protected] - 00:27
Good evening, Jungkook.
Great work, as always!
I have a favor to ask: could you send everything directly to the client?
I'm leaving his email address here. Please, as with every other high-profile client, do not share his contact information or sensitive data with anyone.
His name is Kim Taehyung. If you've never heard of him, you've probably seen him on a billboard somewhere.
This job could give you massive exposure, now's not the time to be shy, Jungkook.
See you Monday at the office. Have a great weekend!
J.Hoseok
Jungkook had never heard that name before. Or maybe...
A hazy memory crept into his thoughts. A late-winter evening, a month ago, spent drinking with Jimin and his boyfriend, Yoongi. The soju bottles had quickly piled up on the greasy little table at the roadside bar, giving free rein to slurred and inappropriate remarks.
"I would neeever cheat on Yoongi," Jimin had said, dragging out the words, "...but V, the new model on the cover of GQ, might be the exception."
Yoongi had simply spread his arms in a disconsolate gesture. "If that makes you feel any less guilty, honey, I doubt I could say no to Kim Taehyung either."
He imagined the look of disbelief on his friends' faces if only they knew that THAT Taehyung was now waiting to receive an illustration from Jungkook. Jimin would probably go crazy, trying to squeeze as much information out of him as possible. Preferably in the form of a home address.
The shadow of a smile flitted across his face, an almost imperceptible twitch at the corners of his mouth. For weeks now, his emotions had grown flat, weak, an endless gray area where nothing was funny enough to make him laugh, frustrating enough to make him furious, or sad enough to make him cry. He simply let everything wash over him, watching life through the muffled walls of a bubble. The world moved fast, rushing and changing and spinning and roaring. And Jungkook lagged behind, unmoved, at the mercy of the waves.
That was what chasing his dream had done to him.
[email protected] - 00:58
Good evening, Mr. Kim. This is Jeon Jungkook from Hope Agency.
Please find the final files and a download link attached.
I look forward to hearing from you. Please let me know if the illustration needs any changes.
Best regards,
J. Jungkook
Ten minutes and a couple of clicks later, Jungkook shut down his computer, took a shower, and slipped under the covers.
He didn't close the curtains; the city's night lights were a comfort to him on the nights he woke up screaming, believing he was suffocating. The episodes had started two weeks ago, as if to remind him that even in his sleep he couldn't escape his life.
He stared at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity, thinking about his latest illustration.
I wonder what Taehyung will use it for. Maybe for his website? I don't think he has one, don't talk nonsense, Jungkook. Bah, whatever. The rent's paid for this month, too.
And then sleep overtook him.
---------- 🌙 -----------
The soft sound of rain on the windows accompanied his awakening that Saturday morning. The sky was a somber gray, a whirlwind of clouds marching over the city as if in a parade. Jungkook sat on the couch with a bowl of cereal in one hand and his phone in the other.
2 messages from Jimin, a missed call from his brother, 1 message from Joon. He started with those. He replied quickly, promising his brother he'd call him back later.
Then he opened his email. Four spam emails, two work projects forwarded by Hoseok, one gaming newsletter. And a reply from Taehyung.
Without even realizing it, he straightened his back.
RE: [email protected] - 09:40
Good morning, Jungkook,
I appreciate the professional tone, but please, artist to artist, let's drop the formalities if you're okay with that. I'm surrounded by way too much formality already.
That said, WOW.
I'd heard good things about your art, but they didn't do it justice. The illustration is fantastic.
May I suggest a few minor details to tweak? I've attached a PDF with my notes.
Talk soon,
K. Taehyung
Jungkook reread the email a couple of times, amazed at how down-to-earth his new client was. His new, incredibly famous client.
He had expected someone haughty, arrogant, and aloof, that was the image he had formed of the glossy world of models and celebrities. A prejudice that was now crumbling.
A second, massive prejudice crumbled the moment Jungkook opened the PDF containing the notes on the illustration. Clients often requested silly changes, driven by terrible taste and vague, nonsensical ideas, ending up with garish, tacky color schemes that Jungkook was ashamed to send to print.
But Taehyung was, once again, a surprise. The instructions were precise, clear, and full of small details born of a keen eye and an extraordinary creative vision. Jungkook found himself intrigued by those ideas, so unconventional, so far removed from all the tedious patterns he had come to know and, despite himself, tolerate. He opened the software and picked up the stylus for the graphics tablet, determined to test the first item on Taehyung's list of requested changes. Half an hour later, a sound somewhere between astonishment and euphoria broke the silence as Jungkook looked at the result of his work.
Fuck. He was right, this is much better. How did I not think of that?
In some strange way, Taehyung had transformed Jungkook's idea from a bud into a flower, pushing it beyond its limits and bringing it to its full potential. With small, gentle touches, without changing its meaning or essence.
RE: [email protected] - 14:35
Good morning Taehyung,
if we're going to leave the formalities out of these emails, feel free to call me JK. I don't mind at all!
I'm glad you liked my illustration, but let me say that I was blown away by your suggestions. I know it's Saturday, but I've already started making some changes (you'll find the file attached) and...you really understood my style; the improvement is already noticeable.
Please, don't hesitate to give me further feedback.
Have a great weekend,
JK
RE: [email protected] - 15:07
I really admire your work ethic, JK, but please don't waste your weekend working for me. I can wait until Monday!
Enjoy your time off, you've earned it. I already love the new version you sent me, I'm sure the rest will be just as good.
Have a great weekend,
V