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The physics in the digital circus were... unreal. Almost like an irony compared to how real everything felt. The kind of things you would only see in a poor rendering attempt, in a fever dream, or in the sort of elements Gangle might have imagined making on her old laptop when she was studying.
Back when she studied, of course.
She stopped trying to model in 3D when the need to work, and her complete lack of interest in art theory, started outweighing her aspirations.
It had taken her a while to accept it, but she thought she understood it now. This place was... a kind of prison.
A place where her mind remained trapped no matter where she walked to escape, where her body and everyone else’s were nothing more than ridiculous caricatures. Sometimes she even envied the others when she compared the bodies they had been given to her own.
A bundle of ribbons with a theatrical mask. Really?
Her mask sometimes felt heavy, but most of the time it was so light it felt like wearing a sheet of paper glued to her face. It wasn’t surprising that Jax, one of the others trapped in the circus with her, always managed to snatch her comedy mask so easily.
It barely weighed anything.
What frustrated her most wasn’t even her annoying companion, it was the poor logic behind it all. Especially when she thought about it for too long.
Still, strangely enough, the place had its comforts:
Her own room, apparently no real responsibilities, circus members who usually kept to their own business without interfering too much in hers, time and materials to draw in peace, no more hunger and no more death.
Although she was still willing to give that last part the benefit of the doubt.
Ragatha, another of the people trapped there, had tried to explain a phenomenon that supposedly happened every so often: abstraction.
At first it sounded completely insane.
She didn’t believe something like that could exist, and judging from Ragatha’s vague explanation, she suspected Ragatha didn’t fully believe it either. It sounded more like she was repeating someone else’s definition word for word.
Then it became terrifying and real when Caine announced a new abstraction. Gangle's first one.
One of their companions, Ribbit, had abstracted.
Gangle didn’t usually talk to them. She could only remember how friendly they seemed from afar, their playful and extroverted personality. Always energetic. Always cheerful.
Ribbit had been part of a trio that included Kaufmo and Jax. In fact, they used to tell Jax to leave Gangle’s masks alone. And surprisingly, he listened, even if it came with a few complaints and irritated sighs.
Now that gentle smile was nothing but a mess of black noise and hypnotic eyes.
Not long after Ribbit abstracted, Jax and Kaufmo seemed to have had an argument. Nothing new there. The two of them had an impressive ability to start arguments over their different viewpoints. But usually Ribbit was the one who brought the trio back together, softening the hostility before it could escalate... Jax didn’t want to talk about any of it.
Instead, Gangle seemed to have become the rabbit’s second-best source of entertainment, unfortunately for her.
Now there was no one left to set real limits for him, no one he respected enough to listen to. He was far more irritating now.
But it was fine.
On rare occasions, he wasn’t that bad.
Sometimes when they ended up sitting in silence together, he would become her biggest critic when it came to her drawings. Of course, those critiques were usually destructive and meant to mock her, but at least it was a chance to socialize with another being.
Someone who didn’t approve of and glorify every little thing she did as if she were six years old just because she looked small and fragile.
Jax was strange, stranger than this entire place.
He was always saying she shouldn’t take any of this seriously. That nothing in the circus was real.
Sometimes Gangle wondered if he might be right, but every time she thought about Ribbit, she was afraid to dig too deeply into those philosophical questions. She didn’t think Jax gave those nihilistic speeches with any particular intention, but if there was one thing she was certain of, it was that they didn’t exactly help the situation either.
So, in the grand scheme of things, she was alone.
Well... at least she had her drawings. And her imagination, that was important too.
So whenever Caine’s adventures ended, she could lie somewhere quiet and draw peacefully. Of course... that was only if Jax didn’t feel like entertaining himself for a while.
That day she wasn’t doing anything particularly important. The rabbit had already broken her comedy mask, so out of boredom he had gone to bother someone else.
Caine appeared in the center of the circus and called everyone over.
“Hello, my beautiful digital creatures! I hope you’re ready for my brand new adventure: Bombs and Carnations! One team will throw bombs at their enemies from the carnation faction, and the other team will plant as many carnations as possible in hopes of reforesting the destruction! Whichever team wins will receive this beautiful digital sword!”
Caine made a perfectly ordinary sword appear, everyone looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
“Why is that the prize?” Ragatha asked, crossing her arms.
“I think it’s the perfect prize, actually” Jax said with a malicious grin, glancing at Gangle. She shrank slightly in place, silently wishing Jax wouldn’t win.
“Swords are a great prize! They represent strength and willpower according to gladiators. Or something like that. I don’t really remember, but humans love swords!” Caine said dismissively.
Before he could say anything else, a noise caught everyone’s attention.
A new human had appeared.
They were… surprisingly different from the models Gangle had seen before.
Their head was triangular, their body shaped like a bean. Their limbs were irregular, with different shapes and sizes.
The new human looked around.
Gangle recognized that feeling. She had felt just as disoriented and frightened when she arrived.
“Where am I? Why... w-why can’t I take this thing off?” they said, tugging at their eyes.
Gangle noticed Jax rolling his.
“A new human! Wowie!” Caine spun excitedly in midair. He quickly approached the newcomer and began giving them an explanation of how the circus worked.
When they returned from the tour, the new human looked even more confused.
“I can’t stay here. I have to get back to work” they said. Caine and Jax laughed, definitely for very different reasons.
“There’s no way back. So... welcome to your new home” Jax said coldly, the newcomer’s eyes widened in shock.
“A little harsh with your words, Jax... but it’s true! There are no exits here! Only guaranteed fun and an incredible place to satisfy all your needs! You’re welcome!” Caine said, spreading his arms cheerfully.
The new human still looked stunned. Soon, their surprise turned into despair.
“I-it’s not that bad!” Ragatha intervened with her usual positivity. “I’m sure you’ll adapt quickly. Besides, you won’t have to work hard or hardly work ever again... right? You understand what I mean?”
She gave a small laugh, trying to encourage them, but the newcomer still looked bitter. Ragatha lowered her enthusiasm slightly when she noticed their reaction.
“Alright! This is incredibly convenient. So, my battle-ready sweeteners, you have three minutes to decide the teams!” Caine snapped his fingers, making a countdown appear above their heads.
Jax clicked his tongue with his arms crossed.
“Caine, genius, you forgot to tell us the new freak’s name.” The new person glared at him.
“Hey-!”
“You’re absolutely right, Jaxxy Flufflooza!” Caine grabbed the oddly shaped newcomer by the shoulder and dragged them in front of a random Name Generator Machine™. (Where he had even gotten that from was unclear. It wasn’t really relevant.)
He pulled the lever.
The machine generated the name: Zoble.
Caine placed a finger against what seemed to be his chin, thinking.
“Zoble... are you ready for this name to represent you for the rest of your life?”
“No, wait, I already have a name...” they said.
They paused. “My name... I... I can’t remember it...”
“Happens to the best of us” Kaufmo said with a shrug. Ragatha let out a small laugh.
“Don’t worry, toybox. That’s what the Name Generator Machine™ is for! Zoble is the most suitable option according to the machine. You don’t need your old name anymore. It was probably boring anyway!”
“I hope the machine names someone Patrick someday” Bubble said beside Caine, making him jump.
“Bubble! I didn’t even see you there! Be more careful next time, the sword is still here and I wouldn’t want any ACCIDENTS on Zoble’s first day...”
“So... ZOOble...” Jax began with a grin.
“Not my name.”
“Of course it is. Zoo for your obvious animal side,” the rabbit said, pointing at their giraffe-like antenna, their crab claw, and their goat-like leg. “And ble for... uh... abominable.”
“Welcome to the group, Zooble!” Ragatha said with her usual smile. Soon Kinger approached and looked them up and down.
“The new character appears to be the physical embodiment of a zoo” the chess piece commented, tilting his head curiously.
“So I’m really condemned to spend the rest of my life as a zoo allegory?” Zooble said, tugging at their eyelids in frustration.
“Oops! Looks like time ran out while we were deciding Zooble’s name. What a shame! The teams will be random!” Caine said before snapping his fingers and sending them all into the adventure.
Bubble floated closer to the host.
“I hope someone dies!”
“You can’t say that.”
“... From fun!”
“Okay, that’s better. Thank you.”
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
Gangle felt her vision spinning. She didn’t like teleportation as a way of getting around, it always made her nauseous despite her complete lack of organs.
When she managed to steady herself, she quickly realized she was standing in a dry, gray landscape. Warm. Similar to the edges of a volcano. Jax was there with her, which didn’t surprise her in the slightest. It didn’t matter whether the teams were random or not, she always ended up dragged onto Jax’s team by him anyway.
It didn’t really make much sense, considering he only looked for chances to mock her and show off his superiority. Still, she supposed it must mean some kind of entertainment for him.
At least someone was having fun.
“Well, crybaby, looks like we’ve got company this time.”
Both of them looked over at Ragatha, who had thrown up as a result of the trip. She soon stood back up, holding her head, her face showing clear disappointment when she noticed who her teammates were.
Gangle tried not to take it too personally, so she assumed it was because of Jax.
“So, which team did we get?” the doll asked.
Gangle mimicked her companions’ actions and approached the edge of the platform they were standing on. She quickly noticed two cannons loaded with bombs resting beside them, and farther ahead, at a considerable distance, a garden with only a few visible flowers.
The contrast between the volcanic gray and the vivid green struck her as incredibly beautiful.
“Looks like we’re the ones doing the shooting” she said simply, running her “hand” along the cannon.
Jax laughed maliciously.
“Perfect! Let’s give that poor excuse for a zoo a proper welcome.” The rabbit hurried to shove a bomb into the cannon.
“Jax! Be more considerate, it’s their first adventure...” As always, Ragatha tried to talk some sense into him, stepping between the fuse and Jax.
He looked at her with one eyebrow raised, clicking his tongue.
“Uhm, Caine literally said this is what we’re supposed to do. Are you implying you don’t want to follow Caine’s adventure?” he said, feigning surprise and innocence.
The redhead huffed.
“T-that’s not what... I... Ugh! You know that’s not what I mean. I just KNOW that if you have the chance to use bombs, you’re going to abuse them.” She crossed her arms, rolling her eye.
“If you don’t want us to win, then as far as I’m concerned you can go join the other team. Besides, we’ve got ribbons here to help me crush them.”
Gangle jolted when he mentioned her.
Ragatha turned to look at her, sympathy and mild condescension mixed in her expression. Jax followed the same direction, pressure and impatience written across his face.
Gangle couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so small.
“You don’t have to stay, Gangle. If you want, we can go join the others together.” The doll looked at her with a tired smile.
“I...”
She considered her options.
Lose with a team she didn’t feel comfortable with... or win with Jax.
When she looked at him, he sighed and smiled.
It was as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. As if he understood the fear she felt toward him, the power he held over her opinions with nothing more than a specific expression.
She didn’t know why Ragatha kept insisting on being kind to her, because as far as Gangle was concerned, she had lost all right to the benefit of the doubt the moment she kept siding with Jax again and again.
“I’m sorry, Ragatha... I’ll help Jax.”
The doll sighed.
“Of course...” she murmured quietly before walking away.
Gangle lowered her gaze, suddenly feeling self-conscious and exposed. She never fully got used to playing the role of a lackey.
“Hey, crybaby. Come help me with the bombs.”
As Gangle approached with a bomb in her hands, she couldn’t help noticing Zooble in the distance. They looked somewhat confused, watching the others plant flowers and trying to imitate their actions.
“Don’t be fooled by their appearance. If you were in their position, I doubt they’d hesitate for even a second to shoot” Jax said while loading the cannon with the bomb she could barely carry.
“In any situation, you’d be the only one who wouldn’t hesitate to shoot” she murmured, lowering her gaze.
“Well, sorry not sorry!” he laughed, firing the first bomb.
Everyone on the other side managed to dodge it, but the entire right side of their garden was completely destroyed by the blast.
Gangle tried to fire the second one, but her lack of strength caused the bomb to shoot straight off the map and into the void. The rabbit beside her facepalmed.
The first cannon shot made it clear the war had begun, the garden team planting flowers while the duo destroyed as much as they could.
In fact, Jax had already taken care of Ragatha and Kinger, leaving Zooble and Kaufmo scrambling, alternating between dodging bombs and planting carnations.
When the clown stumbled, Jax burst into hysterical laughter and fired a rifle straight at his face, sending him to the loser zone almost instantly.
Now, finally, only Zooble remained.
They lifted their gaze toward them, narrowing their mismatched eyes in irritation.
“Hey! Stop spamming bombs!” their shout carried across the distance.
Jax’s eyes widened in delight, his grin stretching wider.
“Look, ribbons. The zoo talks.”
Gangle fidgeted with her “hands”, nervous.
He rolled his eyes when he noticed.
“Aim at them.”
She hesitated.
They were new. It was their first day. Gangle’s first day went terrible, she didn’t want to make it even harder for someone else.
"... Gangle.”
Her legs trembled as she found herself caught between Zooble’s distant, angry stare and Jax’s close, irritated one.
“Ugh. You’re too slow.”
That was all he said before shoving her aside and firing the cannon himself, finally landing the shot on their rival.
In cartoonish fashion, Zooble held the bomb in their hands for a brief moment.
“You sons of-!”
BOOM.
And just like that, a sign appeared above their heads proclaiming them the winners.
“Next time” Jax said, his tone suddenly darker. Gangle avoided looking at his face, already knowing the look he was probably giving her. “... Don’t make me regret choosing you.”
Gangle wished she could tell him he hadn’t chosen her, that it had been Caine who paired them up, that it was pure coincidence, or maybe extortion.
But it was better to stay silent if she didn’t want the new prize sword permanently embedded in all her comedy masks.
⎯⎯⎯⎯
When they returned from the adventure, the losing team looked far more defeated and frustrated. Most of them walked with their heads lowered, heading anywhere they could just to rest. Gangle felt a nervous knot of guilt, secretly hoping they wouldn’t resent her too much for doing her part while also keeping up with Jax.
“Congratulations, my cold-blooded deforesting bombardiers! As promised, here is your sword!” the host said, snapping his fingers and making the weapon appear.
The sword fell firmly onto the ground, startling Gangle in the process.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” Bubble suddenly floated up close to Jax, making him frown.
Soon the rabbit burst into laughter one last time before grabbing the sword and slinging it over his shoulder. Before leaving, he spared one last glance toward the ribbon girl.
His departure was disturbingly quiet.
Gangle let out a heavy sigh and headed somewhere quiet so she could draw, unaware that someone had been watching her.
From a distance, Zooble narrowed their eyes, clearly remembering the person who had blown them up.
⎯⎯⎯⎯
Night fell over the circus. Or at least, what could now be considered night. Everyone was in their rooms, either sleeping or doing whatever they could to clear their minds. Gangle, however, simply couldn’t find any inspiration.
Tearing page after page from her sketchbook, she felt frustrated, stuck somewhere between accumulated stress and the fear that she was never improving as an artist.
She kept thinking about today.
About Jax. About how Ragatha was already used to her always siding with him.
She thought about Ribbit, and how they used to make living with the rabbit seem almost pleasant.
She thought about the prize, and how Jax would eventually find a way to ruin something with that sword, maybe her sketchbooks or her comedy mask.
She thought about the newcomer.
Zooble.
Their appearance was unique. Cool, even. It reminded her of the times when she didn’t know what to draw and would simply make colorful shapes with her pencils.
She wondered if, maybe someday, even after today, Zooble might let her draw them. If she ever got the chance to redeem her first impression.
Gangle let out a quiet sob when the graphite of her pencil snapped, feeling overwhelmed.
Sometimes she wished she could fall asleep as easily as the others. But whenever she sat down to think, all she wanted was to escape.
From the circus, from her room, from the stares, even from her own stupid avatar.
Ironically, she found a kind of comfort in the night.
She had left her room and was wandering around the circus. The background music, usually meant to be loud and lively, now sounded calm.
For a moment, the absence of the others made her feel nostalgic, like a strange déjà vu of nights in her human life when it was just her wandering the streets until she made a decision.
During those nights she had also wanted to escape,
from work, from the people around her, from herself.
How was it possible that even in a place as colorful as the circus, she still felt like she was constantly surrounded by static?
“Hey.”
Gangle jumped in place, unable to remember exactly when she had wandered over to a giant cube to sit down with her sketchbook.
Zooble was standing in front of her, but in the dark blue glow of the circus night, she could barely make out their expression.
For a moment, her nerves made her feet tremble, imagining the worst possible scenario.
“H-hi” she managed to say, looking down at her page. There wasn’t anything particularly meaningful there, just scribbles.
“You’re the one from the cannon.” Their tone sounded irritated, which only made the anxiety in Gangle’s chest worse. “Why are you drawing in the dark?”
“I just wanted to... think outside my room for a bit. Sometimes there are these little hologram fireflies that show up. They’re nice to draw...” she admitted with a small smile, still unable to look away from the page. “And I’m sorry about the cannon, too... Jax can get competitive when he likes the prize.”
“It’s fine. At least next time I’ll know who to avoid first.” Zooble’s tone softened slightly. From the movement Gangle could see, she assumed they had crossed their arms. “Do you mind if I sit here too? I’d like to see those fireflies.”
“S-sure.” Gangle was grateful she couldn’t blush, feeling painfully self-conscious at the thought of being alone and so close to the cool new member. “My name’s Gangle, by the way.”
“Huh. Okay”
The silence was strangely comfortable.
Gangle couldn’t help feeling curious about the person beside her. Zooble seemed to be staring into nothing, sitting in a relaxed and almost careless way.
“Is there really no way... to escape this place?” The murmur was quiet. It almost didn’t sound intentional. The ribbon girl shrank slightly in her spot.
“It doesn’t seem like it... I’m sorry.”
A sigh. The silence began to feel tense.
“So... What’s with these adventure things anyway?”
“Uhm... you didn’t like your first adventure?”
“It [BONG!]ing sucked.”
Gangle let out a short laugh at the blunt honesty.
Zooble seemed straightforward at first glance. But their kind of bluntness was different from Jax’s. There was more... Tact to it. Less cynicism.
God, thank goodness Jax couldn’t read her thoughts.
“Maybe the next ones will seem better to you. Not all of them are competitive. Sometimes we just do tasks or interact with NPCs,” the ribbon girl explained. "Oh, and there are circus adventures too. The ones where we don’t actually go anywhere.”
“Ugh. Those sound [QUACK!]ing annoying.”
Gangle laughed again.
“Yeah... They kind of are...”
The silence returned, pleasant once more as they both enjoyed the quiet music and the shared company.
A small glow to her left made Gangle turn her head in surprise.
A firefly landed right in front of Zooble, they looked at it with bright eyes. The sight was too adorable, Gangle thought that if she had a heart, it would be beating wildly at the beauty of the moment.
“Well look at that. For a moment I didn’t think one would actually show up” Zooble said, sounding amused.
They glanced away from the firefly for a moment to look at Gangle. Under those mismatched eyes, Gangle couldn’t handle the embarrassment.
She quickly stood up.
“Y-yeah, very pretty! I just remembered I’m really sleepy. Good night, Zooble! Bye! Rest well!”
She hurried off, hugging her sketchbook to her chest as she ran toward the bedrooms. The multi-part figure simply raised an eyebrow.
When they noticed the firefly had already disappeared, they let out a quiet sigh, deciding to go to sleep too.
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
Morning in the circus came with its usual noise.
Somewhere in the main hall, Gangle was jumping desperately in place.
“Jax! Give it back!”
The rabbit held her sketchbook high above his head, flipping through the pages with exaggerated curiosity.
“Relax, ribbons. I’m just appreciating the art,” he said with a crooked grin. “Wow. Anime, cats... Anime cats... you’ve really got range.”
“Please give it back!” Gangle tried to grab it again, her ribbons stretching upward without much success.
From across the room, Zooble noticed the commotion. They frowned slightly and began walking toward them.
“Hey, jack[DING!], maybe don’t-”
Zooble stopped mid-step. Jax had turned another page and for just a second, Zooble saw it clearly.
A drawing.
Them.
Sitting on the cube.
The tiny glow of a firefly hovering beside them.
Zooble immediately looked away, heat rushing to their face. They crossed their arms, pretending to inspect something else in the circus.
“... Huh.”
After a moment, they quietly turned around and walked the other way.
Behind them, Gangle finally managed to snatch the sketchbook back.
Zooble didn’t say anything.
But later that night, they found themselves passing by the giant cube again, just to see if any fireflies showed up.