Chapter Text
That’s it? He just got up and left?
Luna scrunched her nose and mumbled to herself, this was not what she expected from her Introduction to Documentary Filmmaking class. The course instructor, a gaunt looking man in a gray twill sweater and black hipster square-eyed spectacles hopped off from the raised platform and exited the small auditorium leaving a group of confused students. They were a couple of weeks into class discussing the syllabus and the class project and the instructor simply left them to fend for themselves. He simply murmured that “you will find many things online but if you need me during the process, see me at my office” and then walked out like everything was self-explanatory.
Identity, Personal, Introspective, these were the words that he wrote on the board.
Luna tapped the tip of her ballpoint pen on the surface of her notebook. The end of her pen was chewed on, a nasty habit that she developed whenever she was nervous. She stared at the words that she wrote down, something autobiographical. However, in her eighteen years of life, she doesn’t think there’s anything interesting enough to tell so far. In a nutshell, she grew up in a happy household with a single parent who simply allowed her to be whoever she wanted to be. Her mother is currently a painter but she used to be famous, well, that’s one interesting thing about Luna, her mother. There was a decade when everyone knew Bambi Yanin, daughter of a prolific designer, a socialite, talented, and charismatic. Her mother’s face used to be flashed in LED boards downtown, plastered on beauty products, and lit up on every screen on whatever day her dramas aired. Though the Yanin name doesn’t resonate much to many of the younger people nowadays, Luna still gets asked whether she is related to the once famous actor and model. Some of her professors recall her last name and remembered her mother fondly but that’s about it. Also, there is a stark contrast between Luna and her mother’s image. As a celebrity, her mother always dressed feminine, donned in designer outfits, she always beamed at her audience, and was known for her natural skin tone, her warm honey skin. Luna indeed inherited that honey glow but she appeared to be less feminine, sporting an undercut pixie with sky blue highlights. She wore baggy clothes, a loose black hoodie and oversized boyfriend jeans.
Still confused about how she will tackle her project, Luna packed her things in her backpack and exited the auditorium. She was deep in thought, looking down at the carpeted floor until someone intentionally bumped into her.
“Why do you look so down?” Annie, her girlfriend, wrapped her arm over Luna’s shoulder. She was dressed in an A-line summer dress with paisley patterns. Her dark cropped cut short hair framed her defined jawline that made her look stern yet soft at the same time.
If there’s one thing that made university more interesting is that Annie is also in the Faculty of Performing Arts and Film. However, Annie is majoring in acting and directing while Luna is in the film department. They had somehow figured out a way to sync their schedules despite being in different classes in the semester. Luna, true to her name, was more moonlight, contemplative and headstrong and Annie was definitely sunshine, positive and brilliant. They were living their best lives at the moment, being high school sweethearts and now, roommates in a shared apartment off campus.
“Mr. Thor gave this class project and he just expects us to work independently throughout the semester.” Luna huffed.
“Well, look on the bright side, you can focus on production and there would be no boring lectures for you!” Annie remarked.
“If only I already knew what to do. I was looking forward to learning more about storytelling and camera techniques,” Luna released an exasperated sigh.
“Well, I can help. What is it about, anyway?” Annie offered as they strolled towards the mess hall.
“An autobiography of sorts, identity, self, heritage, a documentary.” Luna explained curtly.
“That sounds interesting, why aren’t you excited? We can do a genealogy or investigate how you came to be!” Annie pointed out. “I used to watch a documentary where a celebrity found out that they were related to some serial killer! An autobiography would be interesting but you can include other people’s points of view!”
Luna pondered about it for a while - Annie was right, this could be a perfect opportunity to learn more about the past, a topic that her mom often evaded or simply gave cryptic answers to. “Do you think mom would help me this time?” Luna thought out loud.
“She’s been retired for quite a while, maybe she’ll talk more now. It’s a school project, she should support your academic progress.” Annie was very much aware of Luna’s mom’s isolation.
“She might not appreciate being presented in the public eye once again.” Luna was cautious, her past career had always been a sore topic for mother, she would rather be known as Bambi the painter and not Bambi the actor.
“What public eye? Chances are there would be less than twenty people during the screening and that includes your panel.” Annie countered.
“Yeah, you’re right, I should ask her later.” Luna felt that they had arrived at a resolution. At least, she tries to be hopeful for her own sake. “How about you? How was your class?” She held on to Annie’s arm.
“Oh, right! I almost forgot to tell you! This is what I was excited about before I saw your glum face.” Annie beamed. “Professor Praew had a medical emergency and needed to take a leave, guess who took over my Voice and Movement for Screen class?”
“Who?” Luna honestly had no clue.
“Professor Pariyakorn Roongruengsook!” Annie proclaimed with a slight bow. “I’ll be learning from the best!”
“Oh, she’s the best because you have a low-key crush on her.” Luna jested.
“I do not have a crush on Professor Prim, I only have eyes for you!” Annie lifted Luna’s jaw with her forefinger. “I just heard from the seniors that she’s very keen into details and is a very good mentor. They speak fondly of her. Plus, she’s an elegant woman, she seems not to age. Also, why don’t you know her personally, didn’t she used to date your mom?” Annie realized.
“Well, I never met her.” Luna explained. “Plus, mom says that those were only dating rumors, they were really colleagues, maybe good friends?” Luna hesitated. Growing up, she did see some memorabilia from her mother’s past life around their house but these were now all stored in boxes in the attic. Her mother did have a good digital archive of films and this developed Luna’s interest in the craft. She would often fall asleep watching movies in the den adjacent to her mother’s home studio, while the latter poured out her soul on her paintings nearby. This was a typical scene in their home. Now that she’s in college, she must admit that she often gets homesick and thinks about their home in the Nan Province where her mother currently lives alone.
“You do realize their body of work? Have you ever watched their movies? Have you ever seen videos of them together?” Annie implied.
“If mom says they’re colleagues, then that’s what they are.” Luna insisted.
Luna had faint memories about her childhood, growing up with a single parent, Bambi being the only constant in her life until she met Annie in third grade. Luna knew much about her mother’s family; her great grandmother and her grandmother who were both fashion designers, and their vast land in the Nan Province. But her mother never shared much about the past. It wasn’t unusual to have a single parent at this point in time, and Luna never felt inadequate. All she knew is that she grew up in a place of love, belonging, and her mother made sure that she was cared for and supported. So, she never asked questions, not until now. She believed that whatever she is now, is because of the omega who raised her and she realized how little she knew about this omega aside from being her mother.
“Well, how about we ask Professor Prim? It would be interesting to know her point of view and you might learn more about your mom, some things that she’s not telling. It would be impossible that they were not at least friendly to each other, they were partners for more than a decade; five drama series, three movies, numerous brand endorsements, fanmeets, press tours, reality shows! They have gone through a lot and you’re telling me that you haven’t met this person at least once in your life?” Annie probed.
Annie was right. How come Luna never encountered Professor Prim? Why did her mother choose to live so far away from the world that she used to thrive in? And now Luna was back into this world and why did she allow it? Was she simply so loving and magnanimous as a mother? How come Luna never met any of the people in her past life? These questions started to tumble in and thanks to Annie, Luna was getting somewhere - a topic, an inquiry, a statement. Perhaps getting to know Professor Prim would open Luna more to her mother’s world; a duality, divided into the past and the present. Since she had just been living with her mother her entire life; her mother is where her story starts, an inquiry of building an image of who she really is.
“You’re suddenly quiet, the cogs are turning, aren’t they?” Annie teased, she knew her so well.
“You’re right, I should at least look into this. She does shut off whenever the past is revisited. She’ll hate it but I think there’s so much to tell.” Luna admitted.
Luna Yanin, 10:00 AM - Prim stared at the piece of neon pink Post-it on her hand. When her secretary told her that a film student wanted to meet with her, she immediately agreed to the schedule. Afterall, she was known to be helpful and understanding among the student body. Plus, it was her goal to offer some mentorship to as many students as she could, as long as she had the energy to do so. After about a decade of life in academia, Prim realized that it may not be financially as rewarding as her job before but it was significantly emotionally and mentally rewarding. She traded the life of red carpets and jetsetting with a life of workshops, manuscripts, and gradesheets but she could not have done it any other way. She was still hired to play the occasional aunt and mom roles on TV and a few indie films here and there but it did not feel demeaning at all. Indeed she needed some form of practice in order to be updated with her teaching methods. Prim has decided to take up the role of a journeyman - the mentor who stands at the wings of the stage or behind the camera simply to lead stars into their own limelight. Prim was content with the lull of her life, a quiet retreat to middle age, not until this morning.
Luna Yanin, 10:00 AM - Why now, Luna? After all these years? Prim asked herself. She knew that Luna was about university age, she kept tabs as she remained at a distance. Now, Luna was at her door, Bambi Yanin’s daughter. Their paths had crossed again, despite drifting about for so many years, they were pulled back by the tide once more.
Prim looked at her wrist watch - 9:59 AM, she could see Luna’s shadow behind the frosted glass of her office door. Prim took a slow breath before getting up from her seat - this was inevitable, she told herself.
Pariyakorn Roongruengsook - Faculty, the nameplate was plastered on the door of the office. Luna waited for a couple of days to make the appointment, she wanted to be ready when she finally talked to Professor Prim. She had gone through some questions with Annie. Annie offered to accompany her, to establish some rapport but Luna insisted that this part of the project, she must do alone. There’s something about meeting someone for the first time and having a clean slate, no expectations, just a plain encounter with a stranger who used to be a constant in her mother’s life - Luna thought.
“Luna Yanin?” The office door suddenly opened and a middle-aged alpha emerged from the threshold.
Annie was right, Professor Prim was indeed an elegant woman. Her voice sounded poised, not too feminine but not overbearing either. She looked athletic underneath her ironed navy shirt with rolled up sleeves showing her firm arms. Her long hair flowed elegantly to her shoulders. Her tin rimmed spectacles framed her face perfectly. She embodied confidence and modesty without excessive display.
Luna was dumbfounded for a moment, something about this alpha seemed strange but familiar. “Professor Roongruengsook,” Luna made the wai gesture as she stood up from the waiting area.
“My students call me Professor Prim,” Prim bowed back and smiled, her eyes disappearing into crescent lines. Luna noticed this detail but attributed it to her nervousness. “Come in,” she gestured towards her office.
As Luna walked in, she noted that ample daylight illuminated the room, showing a view of the university grounds from a line of windows opposite the door. The professor’s desk was filled with a stack of manuscripts leaving just enough space for her laptop and an intricate stained glass lamp. Opposite her desk, an oak bookshelf towered, filled with an assortment of books, more manuscripts, a collection of vinyl records and a vintage record player. The eggshell colored walls were also littered with framed movie posters and abstract artworks.
“Have a seat,” Prim motioned to the leather guest chair next to her desk. “How can I help you?” She finally settled on her swivel chair.
“Uhm, thank you for accommodating me,” Luna fidgeted in her seat. “I’m Luna Yanin, I’m a film student working on a project, a documentary of sorts.” Luna explained with a hoarse voice. She couldn’t explain her sudden nervousness.
“Yanin, right? You’re Bambi Yanin’s daughter?” Prim asked casually.
“Yes, you used to be colleagues with my mom.” Luna replied hesitantly. If it was a sore topic for her mother, she didn't know how it was with the professor.
Prim took a deep breath, then smiled again, she smiled like the Cheshire Cat. “Your mom and I go way back.” Prim finally stated. “But what does it have to do with your project?” Prim raised an eyebrow.
“Well, my project is sort of an autobiography and a big factor about my identity is my mom.” Luna defined.
“Are you telling me that there’s nothing else you can say about yourself but about your mom?” Prim chuckled, she was teasing but Luna suddenly felt awkward. There was something so disarming about being ridiculed by a seemingly wise woman.
“I’m sorry…” Luna suddenly stood up, this was not going as she was hoping for, perhaps Prim took it as some form of nepotism or living under her mother’s shadow. She should have not made a fool of herself in front of a professor.
Prim realized the sudden surge of anxiety in Luna. “It’s okay, Luna, please sit down.” Prim motioned. “I didn’t mean to imply anything bad, I was merely teasing, testing.” When Luna sat back down, Prim continued, “Now, tell me, how can I help you?”
“May I interview you, professor? About my mom? About who she was when you knew her?” Luna blurted out. “I just think…I just know her as a mom and she has raised me alone. She’s a big part of me, my manners, my values, my dreams, she shaped it all. But I feel like she’s used to be someone else to other people. I would like to get to know that part of her, before she became my mom. And you, professor, you were in those significant years, yet, I have never met you until now. How many people knew her before? I practically have no clue but I would like to find out about it now, if you can help me.” Luna looked at Prim with sincerity.
Prim contemplated her reply. There was a pregnant pause between them, Luna looked hopeful, Prim looked hesitant.
“Will she find out about this?” Prim inquired.
“Well, she will, at some point, she will.” Luna was honest.
“What would you like to know?” Prim finally asked.