Chapter Text
The cab carrying Bigby Wolf soon stopped in front of a rather dark alley. Bigby thanked the driver and got out of the cab and onto the sidewalk. Under the moonlight, Bigby Wolf had his usual white-collared shirt, tie, and slick black pants. He pulled out the card he was mailed earlier to double check that the address was correct. He also chose to briefly re-read the message on the card, which read:
Dear Hopeful Enthusiast,
You are here by invited to a night of rousing fun and festivities with your fellow patrons. Please follow the attached address and make sure to not share this invitation or information of invitation with anybody else.
Sincerely, The Host.
Bigby thought it was a little shady but chose to go to the address regardless. He walked down the alley and was surprised by what he found on the other end. He saw a small robot dressed in a black hoodie, purple beanie and hair, and with purple and yellow eyes. There was a slender-looking figure with a huge white mask and a red cloak. There was also a very large looking bird with a robe and a large hammer. All three of them turned around to see Bigby and were alarmed by the sudden new arrival.
“Who the crap are you?” The robot demand as it formed some weird symbol on its hands.
“Uhhh, did you all get one of these invitations too?” Bigby whipped back out his card.
The robot seemingly relaxed as he pulled out his card, “We did.”
Bigby then recognized who he was talking too, “Aren’t you all a little far away from home?” He pointed to the bird, “You’re King Dedede, right? Shouldn’t you be in Dreamland eating... whatever it is you can get your hands on?” Bigby smirked a little.
“A fan?” Dedede asked, oblivious to Bigby’s jab, “Colored me flattered. And you’re right, I should be in Dreamland right now. But some weird orange circle showed up in my personal quarters when I was having a kingly rest. It dumped one of these fancy cards here at my feet and I couldn’t say no a free invitation to something. I ended up right here next to these two ladies.”
“King Dedede is more arrogant than I would have thought,” The slender figure commented.
“I’ll have you know, Hornet. When you go on as many adventures as I have throughout the years, the dangers of jumping into some orange circle are pint sized,” Dedede came back with.
“The Hornet from Silksong?” Bigby added on.
“Indeed, I was enjoying some downtime when the same thing that happened to Dedede and Uzi happened to me. But of course, I took more pre-cautions.”
“Hey! I took plenty of pre-cautions, Hornet.” Uzi bit back with an agitated mark on her visor.
“Sure,” Is all Hornet replied with.
Uzi then squinted at Bigby, “You’re that one guy... what’s his face... Bigby Wolf, I think. You also step through an orange circle straight out of Portal?”
“No, I took a cab, actually,” Bigby replied.
“Strange,” Hornet mentioned.
“Well, have you figured out if this is the right place?” Bigby looked at the door that was in front of them. The sign on the door was labeled ‘Inventory’. And above the door was a light that had another sign attached above it labeled ‘The Inventory’.
“I dunno, this whole thing might be some elaborate scam or something,” Uzi put forth.
“Yeah, I’ve been banging on the door for the past five minutes, but no one is answering!" King Dedede yelled as he banged again.
“And I have informed him that banging on the door is not going to help anyone,” Hornet spoke.
Wordlessly, the four of them walked closer to the door. As they did that though, a large glass tube sprouted from underneath them and trapped them all.
“What the robo-crap!” Uzi exclaimed.
“Oof, alright, little bit of a tight squeeze,” Dedede joked. Bigby and Hornet made small grunts of their own as the tube descended into the ground. The four of them then squirmed uncomfortably for a second or two before stopping as they could see what was an underground two-story lounge before them. There were swanky lights, decor, and they could faintly hear music coming from the room.
“Classy,” Bigby commented as the tube arrived at the top floor. The tube then opened up, and the four of them exited the cramped tube of an elevator.
“That’s certainly one way to make an elevator,” Uzi said with confusion.
“Hey, this place isn’t half bad,” Dedede said as he leaned over the railing. He began to take in all the sights and smells of the place.
Hornet slightly hummed to herself, “Reminds me of Halfway Home.”
While the four of them were distracted by the lights and sounds of the room they found themselves in, a rather tiny man in a red jacket, white sailor hat, and mustache yelled as he walked over and surprised the group. “Greetings hopeful enthusiast!”
“And who might you be?” Hornet demanded with her needle out.
The small man was taken back a bit, “Apologize for the scare, I am Commadore Reginal Van Winslow (retired) and I will be your host for this evening.”
“Host? So, are you the one who gave us these fancy looking cards?” King Dedede questioned as he held his invitation out.
“Correct, on behalf of everyone at The Inventory, I welcome you to The Inventory's grand re-opening!”
“Right... look, this better be good. The ride here was a little rough to say the least. My back feels like it’s in my head.” Uzi said a little miffed.
Reginal hummed to himself, “I do also apologize for the rather crude means of getting some of you here, Aperture Science portals are still in the beta phase for very long-distance travel. But I assure you tonight will be well worth it, and will in-fact be ‘good’,” Reginal said his statement with pride.
“And what if we wish to leave?” Hornet brought up.
“Then I will personally send you back in the blink of an eye. But I do insist you stay, at least for the game we have planned downstairs,” Reginal responded with gusto.
“A game? What kind of game are we talking?" King Dedede questioned with a little vigor.
“Only the most high stakes kind of game, your highness,” Reginal teased.
“Sign me up!” Dedede responded.
“...Sure, whatever, this can’t be the worst thing ever,” Uzi agreed.
Bigby shrugged his shoulders, and Hornet didn’t protest when Reginal motioned them downstairs.
“I’ve gotta ask, what’s with all the secrecy? Why send us these invitations? And then say how we couldn’t share with anyone that we got these invitation?” Bigby interrogated.
“Well Mr. Wolf, The Inventory prides itself on being discrete and in the shadows. Founded back in 1919 in response to the 18th Amendment, The Inventory has served as a safe haven to protect the people's right to games and other such amusements that would have been outlawed otherwise. We had to know that we could trust you not to spill the secrecy of the club.”
“Ok... but why us exactly?” Uzi continued.
“About seven years ago, the club had to close its doors due to some... financial miscommunication. But, thanks to the generous donations from the fine people over at Skunkape,” Reginal pointed to a newly installed banner above the stairwell that had a logo of what the others could only assume to be Skunkape’s logo. “The Inventory has opened its doors once more to the masses. And to celebrate, The Inventory has decided to hold a ‘reach out effort’ so to speak. This is to get more people who haven’t seen what The Inventory has to offer whether here or far.”
The group then reached the bottom of the stairwell. Everyone saw a collection of vaguely familiar faces talking and chatting. They also passed by a bar, “You will also find that we have stalked our bar with a plethora of otherworldly drinks,” Reginal commented.
The group was then ushered by Reginal to the back of the room to an isolated poker table on a mini stage. At that table sat a rather large rabbit who turned around and waved at the plucky group of new comers.
The rabbit awed and said, “Heya new bloods!” While showing his rather big, sharp teeth. “Welcome to the home of every fifty something year olds dream!”
“What fever dream did I agree to?” Uzi asked herself.
“Hang on, you’re Max, right?” Bigby questioned assertively.
“And I assume you’re Mr. Wolf, I thought I smelled a hint of dog that I wasn’t familiar with,” The rabbit replied.
“You two know each other?” Hornet spoke up.
“Not necessarily know, more like business acquaintances who worked under the same places banner but never actually saw each other,” Max responded. “But I am familiar with Mr. Wolfs' work of needlessly outlandish violence. Huge fan of that by the way.”
“Uh, thanks,” Bigby responded.
“Max, do you know where our other enthusiasts have wondered off to?” Reginal asked.
“Oh, Tycho made the mistake of beating Strong Bad’s high score on Bluster Blaster. So Strong Bad may or may not be trying to skin Tycho alive in the back. And you know Heavy, he loves a good bloodbath,” Max chuckled with a smile.
“Very well then, ladies, gentlemen, please have a seat.” Reginal instructed.
King Dedede decided to sit on the left of Max, the latter of whom was in his usual spot at the far end of the table. “Seat’s almost too small for me, heh heh,” He joked as he sat down while sitting his trusty hammer next to him. Uzi took to the left of him, followed by Hornet, and finally Bigby.
“I trust you are all comfortable?” Reginal asked, in which he received five nods. “Very well, tonight's game will be No Limits Texas Hold 'em,” Reginal clapped his hands with his announcement.
“One of those goofy games my Dad plays?” Uzi questioned amused.
“I don’t believe I have heard of this game before, Reginal,” Hornet brought up.
“Yeah, same here Regi,” King Dedede agreed.
“I was afraid this might be an issue,” Reginal admitted, “Which is why I took the liberty of preparing pamphlets that would explain the rules of the game in preparation for our reach out initiative.” Just then, five sheets of paper fell on top of everyone.
Everyone then took a minute to read and brush up on the rules of Texas Hold ‘em, everyone except Max.
“You should know I don’t read anything unless you threaten to reveal what I did to Sam’s hat this morning, Reginal,” Max chimed in.
“That is quite alright, Max,” Reginal lightheartedly said. After everyone was familiar with the rules, Reginal spoke up again. “Now, in concordance with the house rules of The Inventory, set forth by Mr. Kent upon the clubs founding, any congregation of five players around a no-limit hold ‘em table will play for the house stakes of, what is now, ten thousand dollars.”
Bigby turned around to him in shock and a bit of anger, “I don’t know what kind of money you think I have Jack Sparrow,” Bigby said sarcastically. “But you’re out of your mind if you think I just walk around with that one me.”
“You mean you don’t walk around with a comically sized brick of money in your back pocket?” Max seriously asked as he threw ten thousand dollars on the table.
“Where’d you even keep that?” Uzi bewilderly demanded.
“I have my ways,” Is all Max responded with.
“What’s so special about a little block of green paper?” Dedede mentioned as he started to poke at Max’s money.
“Hands of the merchandise!” Max exclaimed.
“Now, now, Mr. Wolf, no need to shout,” Reginal soothed. “Tonight will simply be about fun and spreading selective interest here in The Inventory. As such, no actual money will be put on the line tonight, and you all will start with ten thousand on us.”
“But where’s the thrill in waging money that isn’t your own?” Max cried a bit disappointed.
Out of thin air, poker chips equivalent to ten thousand dollars appeared next to everyone.
“With that settled I will leave you all to it. Blinds will begin at one hundred and two hundred, which I will be occasionally raising, but apart from that, may the best player win!” So, Reginal walked to the back, and the five players were left to play the game.
Two cards were passed out to everyone which they then all took a glance at. The first hand was then underway. Max started out with the small blind, King Dedede got the big blind, so Uzi was the first one up.
“Okay, ummm, call,” she said as she threw her chips forward.
Hornet then looked back at her paper with the instructions and winning card hands on it before making her decision. “Fold,” she then politely slid her cards forward.
Bigby then did the same as Hornet and folded.
Max then called for one hundred, followed by Dedede who was much more frantic about looking at his manual and his cards. He then realized he could check for free, “Check... why doesn’t everyone just do that all the time?” He spontaneously asked.
“Cause that’s not how the game works,” Bigby answered.
The flop cards were then revealed, and they showed a 5 of hearts, 7 of spades, and a Jack of spades.
Max didn’t even think before betting $500.
King Dedede chuckled to himself without even looking at his manual or cards, “Call.”
Uzi was not deterred by his chuckle however and called too.
The turn card was next and was shown to be a 2 of diamonds.
Max then thought it would be wise to check, so he tapped the table twice.
King Dedede then laughed to himself again and bet $1000.
Uzi then looked at Dedede and the four cards on the table, “Yeah, no dice,” She folded.
Max then took Uzi’s lead and folded too, leaving King Dedede to win the hand.
"King Dedede wins the hand," Everyone could hear Reginal's voice from the back.
King Dedede then scooped up all the poker chips and set them besides him.
“Hah, hah, I like this game already,” he said with a large smile on his face.
“Laugh it up now, Big Bird,” Uzi somewhat threatened.
Before the next hand could begin, Max had something to say. “Mr. Wolf, might I ask how season two is coming along?”
Bigby eyerolled at his comment, “It’s certainly going.” Bigby took out a smoke and lit it.
“A comment that murky can only mean great things I’m sure,” Max wittily replied.
Bigby sighed, “I don’t know what’s going on with it. The writing is supposedly done, but I get told one thing then the next day I’m doing and hearing the opposite. It’s been one big mess really; I almost feel jealous of those guys at Adhoc. What I would do to have the game done by them instead of the remains of whatever Telltale is now,” Bigby admitted.
“‘Adhoc’... Why is that name familiar?” Dedede asked everyone.
“They made Dispatch,” Uzi clarified.
“Dispatch! Oh, I loved that one!” Dedede proclaimed.
“It had the success Sam and I could only dream of back in the 90s,” Max agreed. “I quite enjoyed strangling the life out of Shroud’s bloody pulp.”
“Hey, at least you’ve had an announcement of a second season, Bigby,” Uzi begrudgingly admitted.
“Haven't you taken that issue up with, who was it again? Liam Vickers?” Hornet questioned.
“Multiple times,” Uzi replied with her arms crossed, “All he does is brush it off though, because that’s fine, just ignore the millions of people wanting a second season.”
“But you haven't been waiting over a decade for another shot. Just wait until 2034, then you can talk munchkin,” Bigby joked.
“Bite me!”
“Ah, the intricacies of being in modern entertainment,” Max spoke whimsically, “Glad I’m not a part of that!” He added. The hole cards for the next hand were then passed out, and the second hand soon began.