Chapter Text
"HEY! Fuck, don't just stand there, call the ambulance!"
'That's right.'
"Physician? Is there any physician here?!"
'Today, 2nd of March...'
"Does anyone know first aid? Shit, would that even work..."
'...I might have died?'
"Yes, uhm, I...s–someone got hit by a car, here on...what street is this?"
'It's such a cliche way to die, I kinda feel embarrassed?'
"He's...not breathing."
'I wonder if I'll reincarnate in some other world. Or turn into a ghost...no, I'd probably believe in reincarnation more.
“Someone, hel…”
‘In such a massive universe with more beyond it, how can't there be an alternate world?'
"..."
'Unlike ghosts. I’m not exactly sure, but I just can't bring myself to believe in superstitions like the paranormal. It's either edited, faked, or some gas leak.'
"Hello?”
'But I died a while ago. I think. Right now, I'm just in some void. Maybe I'm about to get transferred to another dimension.'
"Is...is anyone there?"
'Or maybe this is purgatory.'
"...whew. In my previous video, you guys commented that I should dress up as a clown to defend myself from ghosts or something?"
'Right, this must be purgatory.'
"Weird idea...but it might work. I got claw marks on my back last time, so this better damn help."
I saw a trembling scatter of light somewhere in the void I was in. Dim, but it was there, blocked by silhouettes of what I assume to be broken pillars.
Then, I saw a round, red shape peeking around the corner where the light came from.
"Alright, let's go in."
It resembled a clown's nose.
'No. This might be hell, actually.'
And so came in the vibrant colors of fabric that contrasted with the dark, muddy-hued environment, and a bald head with ragged red hair on either side. The face…no doubt about it—it’s an eerie-looking clown mask.
'Jesus.'
Oddly enough, my body flinched, even when I felt no flesh there. But I could move.
A phantom body. Or, well, maybe the opposite of it.
"Oh, the EMF, there's a sharp spike! Wait, let me pull this out..."
'...Is that a spirit box? What the hell is he doing?'
"So–ah, fuck, where was it? It was beeping like crazy over here...wait, no, here?"
'He's just swinging it around.'
Aside from the weird clown suit, the guy had an entire backpack that looked like it weighed a boulder, along with a camera on an absurdly long selfie stick. Objectively speaking, for a—I would guess—paranormal investigator, he had a rather cheap setup.
'He does look scary. That equipment makes him look more harmless, at least.'
Then I realized that he was clumsily inching towards my spot.
'Ah.'
I tried to move away, but my back hit a dead end. A wall, probably. How? I was dead, for heaven's sake.
The clown still continued moving towards me, the light casting towards my direction as his eerie mask remained in the shadows, making his face look even scarier above the light, emphasizing the exaggerated bulge of the mask’s white cheeks and that teethy grin that nearly reached his ears.
'Hahaha, aah fuck.'
I was dead. And still a coward.
‘Can you blame me? Clowns are terrifying.’
"The EMF's about to blow my fuckin' ears off, holy shit. You guys see this?"
'No way those things actually work…no, wait, what am I even thinking? I'm not a ghost. Where even am I?'
Before I could dwell any deeper into a well of confusion, a red nose suddenly appeared right in front of my face, and I could practically see the future with the light piercing through my eyes.
"..."
'...'
When...am I getting reincarnated?
"AAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
"AH!"
The two of us screamed at the same time, though I froze up immediately after a second of my shriek, while the clown was still screaming bloody murder. I could see him shivering with that stiff body of his as he nearly fell backward.
‘S–scary!!’
I backed myself into a corner. It was too risky to run off when it was pitch black in the rest of this...building, whatever it was. The flashlight the stranger had could barely even light up this one area.
"FUCK! Oh my god, fuck, no way...hah, jesus...!"
I could hear the clown panting, gasping for air as if he had just emerged from being baptized for too long. I'm not doing so well myself, freezing up like a deer and trembling. I wanted to cry from the sheer terror.
"N–No way. Shit, what is that? A homeless guy?"
'...?'
"No, wait..."
The clown pointed the EMF meter towards me, cautiously trying to close the distance, but still staying away for his own safety.
"...this is it. This is the ghost! Holy shit, guys—I caught a fucking ghost! Do you see this? Tell me you see it, this is crazy."
'Oh my god.'
I...uh, huh??
"I'm not a ghost." I finally spoke, my voice monotonous despite the slight tremor in it.
"Oh. A hobo?"
"...Do I look like one?"
I couldn't see it—thanks to that creepy mask—but I could only assume he was squinting his eyes at my appearance, which was making me rather uncomfortable.
"I guess not? He looks neat."
'Why does he keep talking to the camera...?'
Still, he remained vigilant, standing from a safe distance, using the camera as some kind of shield.
"Uhm...where are we?"
The clown paused.
"Seriously? You walked in here, idiot. How wouldn't you know? Aren't you a missing person or something—some kind of runaway employee?"
'...what suggested that? A–anyway, I need to go over this entire situation, first of all. Or I might really go insane.'
I'm dead. I got hit by a car, and I...can't even feel my own heartbeat. So, why...
"Well? Don't just stand there."
The clown then began to approach me, now a little more comfortable than he should be. He lowered the camera for now.
"Look, I'll pay you if you pretend to be a ghost. C’mon, my job's on the line here."
'Job? I guess a con artist is still an artist…?'
'But, I really have to make sure. It's impossible that I'm alive, unless it was all somehow fake. Then, frankly, it's impossible that I'm dead if I'm right here, right? Not that it would explain anything either. Agh, why is this so stressful?’
…
"Hey."
"What?"
"Touch me."
"...What?"
'His body looks like it's convulsing in disgust. Did I say something wrong?'
"Touch me, please." I took a step forward.
"What the hell..."
I took further steps forward.
The clown just seemed to freeze, stiffening as he tried to back away.
'Tsk.' I didn't have the patience for this. I needed closure, a hint, anything...!
So, I strode and placed my hand on the clown's chest. I still felt fearful at the sight of such a creepy clown so close to me, but I had to endure. Figuring out my situation was my utmost priority—if I stay cooped up here in the abyss, I really would go insane.
"..."
'I...could feel him? No, not really feel. My hand seems to be solid as it doesn't go through him, but...I don't really feel anything against my palm.'
"...yo–you fucking creep! Get away from me!"
The clown shoved me away with shocking force, but I didn't sense that force, either. Still, I stumbled backward and kept my eyes on the clown to make sure he didn't leave my sight. I needed him for this investigation. That physical touch just now...proved that I at least had a form. It was a relief, to say the least, but it wasn’t enough. I needed more information.
"Agh, what the hell..."
"Hey. Answer me."
I held his wrist firmly, but not hard enough to hurt, just tight enough to keep him from running away and leaving me in the pitch black darkness, where I definitely wouldn't be able to navigate my way through.
"Where are we?"
"Ugh, fuck, why should I tell you?"
"Because I can help you."
The clown paused. So, I added.
"Help you with your...job."
...
...
...
"You think I'm believing that?"
'At least he's skeptical.'
"Is it just you working?"
The clown nodded hesitantly. Honestly, thinking more about it, it’s a little absurd to be having a conversation with some random guy dressed up as a clown in a place like this. I would be laughing if I wasn’t in an absolute maze right now.
"Then an extra hand could help. I'm decent at editing and...management, among uhm, other things."
"Proof?"
'...How am I supposed to show you proof? I only ever edited for my company’s ads, and now they’re all down in the drain because they flopped too hard.'
"Just trust me. You've been having a difficult time, right?"
'Not that I actually know, but with a career like that and the low budget, he probably is struggling.'
...
...
...
"We're at an abandoned hospital."
'Fuck.'
For some reason, I suddenly felt shivers down my spine. I didn't believe in ghosts, but...they're still a scary concept. Sometimes, I catch myself actually believing in them. I–It's definitely a conditioned thing. I grew up consuming nothing but ghost stories, so I guess it gets to my head when I'm just not in my right mind.
Though, finally getting tossed a clue made me relax a little more, and soon I let go of the clown before I seemed any more of a threat.
"Look, I'll–I'll really help you. With...whatever you're doing. Just fill me in."
"Fill you in on...?"
I hummed in thought.
"Uh, let's see—the full date, the location, the recent news, anything will help."
"All of that? Fine."
He cleared his throat.
"It's the 15th of August–what, do I need to include the year, too? You're not some time traveler, are you? That kind of thing’s been a popular trope in manhwas these days, overrated fuckin’ slop. Anyway, it's 20XX—"
‘...ouch. That feels a little targeted. Isn’t he talking too much, anyway?’
His rather small flashlight flickered. He banged it suddenly, and I couldn't help but flinch. I could only hope it wasn't very obvious—I didn't want to seem too much of a coward, even if I was. I didn’t need to be taken advantage of, not right now.
"—we're in Gonjiam Psychiatric Hospital in Gwangju, Gyeonggi Province. I don't really listen to the news, so that's about as much as I can fill you in on." He shrugged.
‘Really? I thought he'd be the type to listen to the news, given his…distaste for fiction. As a reader myself, I'm not exactly updated, and I do feel a little embarrassed about it…’
I gave an acknowledging nod, and as I actually started to go over the provided information, I narrowed my eyes.
'Six months...I've been in that void for six whole months? It barely felt like 30 minutes. What the hell...?'
I couldn't help but sigh internally. So many questions, and they only multiply instead of getting answered. Though it was the same back in my corporate life where I would have an existential crisis every week, along with mountains of papers.
I quickly discarded my less-than-pleasant nostalgia aside as I got distracted by the odd silence that further highlighted the dark building’s horrific vibe. The clown was still, and I could feel his gaze boring into me. But before I could feel a sense of unease creep up on me, he lunged forward and...
"...?"
"Wh–what..."
Both of our eyes widened. I couldn't see his, but his frozen body clearly enunciated his shock.
His arm...was going through my chest. As if he was impaling water. As if he had somehow surpassed laws of physics in the most disturbing way possible.
I should've felt a sharp pain even as an illusion, but I didn't, as if I didn't even have nerves to enforce that phantom pain.
I wanted to scream right there and then, but I miraculously stayed silent in disbelief, just looking down at the hand that was now trembling through my chest.
'This...what is this? What's going on? Wasn't I able to touch him? So, why...?'
It was really strange. So strange that I just hoped it was all a fever dream in the end. After all, being here in the first place was impossible, right? Seriously. Dying, a clown, a camera, an abandoned hospital, ghosts…my dreams would sometimes be just as creative, so this isn’t any different. It shouldn’t be.
Yet my shaken mind reacted otherwise.
I suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. I can’t even breathe in the first place, and that’s exactly what’s driving me crazy. Everything just felt too overwhelming, too confusing, too...draining. I thought dying would rid me of this stress, but why am I still here? Why do I still feel? No, I can't feel anything, what am I talking about? Or, wait, I should still feel something—I'm human, right? Then why? Why?Why WhyamIstillhereIdon’twannabehereIthoughtbeingdeadwastheendoofitwhyamIstillfeelinglikethispleasethisistoomuchgetmeoutgetmeoutwhatevenamIifI’mnothuman
Wait
Not human?
...
...
...
Am I...not human?