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Nick can't help but squint as the blinds that shroud the meeting room in darkness are triumphantly pulled open, blinding him momentarily as sunlight floods the room. Once his eyes adjust, he's unable to stop himself from admiring the view outside the window, the sun cascading over the concrete courtyard belonging to their new agency building. It's still surreal to him that they've signed with this new big-time agency, who seem genuinely excited to work with them on what Nick still considers to be silly videos he makes with his brothers.
He's still not used to the way his chest swells with pride, they've made it.
It’s still early days, their new team are still getting to know the three of them, just like he, Matt and Chris are still familiarising themselves with them; still adjusting to each other's work styles, goals and wants for personal projects but Nick feels hopeful about them. Unable to stop the waves of excitement that wash over him whenever he thinks about everything that could now be possible for them now, the opportunities waiting for them are far beyond anything any of them could have predicted back when they’d first chosen to set up their mom’s old camera in the passenger seats of their minivan back in Boston.
Nick swivels on his chair absently as he listens to the concluding statements from their manager. The meeting had gone well, amazingly well considering it was only their third time meeting in person, progress had been made and achievable goals had been set before their next scheduled meeting in a few weeks time. They were even ready to wrap up the meeting half an hour early, which was a blessing in itself, as the meetings at their old agency almost always ran infuriatingly late, leaving them feeling exhausted and unmotivated.
“Unless you guys have anything else you’d like to add, I think we’re good for today. Myself and my two interns, Jules and Max, will handle everything that we’ve agreed on today and we’ll get back to you next week with any updates we have,” Their new manager, Maria, tells them with a warm smile on her face as she gestures towards her two interns, who smile brightly and offer them an encouraging thumbs up.
“I think that’s all, thank you guys,” Matt concludes with a warm smile on his tired face as he wraps up the meeting, reaching over to close his laptop that’s sitting on the glass table in front of them, the screen still filled with notes and ideas for upcoming plans.
Nick watches as their team follows suit and gathers up their things before stepping out of the conference room, leaving the three of them alone to pack up their things and head home. He takes a moment to glance over in Chris’ direction, checking him over quickly and making sure that those exhausted eyes of his haven't given way to sleep just yet. He bites anxiously at his lip as his eyes trail up and down the younger's sunken face, watching as he blinks heavily, not really focusing on anything in front of him.
The past few weeks had been relentless. The stress of finally committing to leaving their old agency and negotiating the terms of their new one, fixing the car which had broken down in the middle of the highway, much to Matt's complete humiliation, combined with the fact that they’d been bouncing back and forth between LA and Boston more frequently for their families’ birthday season, all on top of their usual video schedule and planning of personal projects, it was clear that it was all finally catching up to them.
He’s relieved to find that Chris’ eyes are still open though his heavy blinks are beginning to slow as he’s actively losing his fight against the all consuming exhaustion, desperately trying to stop himself from falling asleep before he makes it back to the safety of the car. Nick can't help but sigh sympathetically as he watches him struggle. Sleeping had been a real problem for their youngest lately, whether it was nightmares, sleep paralysis or his racing, overloaded mind refusing him the rest he so desperately wanted and needed; the three of them had spent more nights than not on the sofa recently, curled protectively around him as he tried and failed to convince his eyes to stay closed and let sleep take hold.
Nick feels his simmering worry swell as he studies Chris for a moment longer, his focus drifting between the scattered papers on the table and Matt, who’s quietly trying to convince him to stand up so that they can go home.
Home.
Nick wants to do nothing more than for them to go home, change into their favourite pairs of soft sweatpants, doordash whatever food they can think of before closing all of the blinds in the living room, collapsing onto their large plush sofa and sinking into the warm comforts of sleep. All together in their collective exhaustion as they allow themselves time to just rest and reset after their unrelenting couple of weeks.
Nick's brought back into the room again as Matt stands and makes his way over to Chris, who’s quickly beginning to deteriorate before their eyes, coming up behind him and resting his hands on both of the younger's shoulders and squeezing them gently to catch his attention. He watches as Matt leans down to check on the younger and offers a small smile when tired eyes meet his own, “ready to go, Chris? 1, 2, 3…” as he helps him to haul him up, wrapping a strong arm firmly around his side to support him.
Nick follows as Matt carefully guides them out of the conference room, his arm never drifting from where it's keeping Chris upright as they make it about halfway down the corridor that's filled with identical looking rooms to the one that they'd just emerged from. It's almost disorientating, Nick notes, swearing that he's seen this exact corridor in a horror movie or something.
He startles as he notices that Matt has stopped walking and is now looking at him with those kind eyes of his, he offers the younger a warm yet questioning smile when their eyes meet, “Oh, um, our bags. Would you mind um-”
“Oh yeah, of course. I'll grab them and meet you back at the car. You take him and make sure he’s alright,” Nick assures him, nodding over towards Chris, who's now practically dead on his feet, as he reaches over to run a soft hand through his flat hair before moving to pull his hood up and over his head so that his face is successfully hidden, trying to save Chris from the embarrassment he knows he's already feeling even though they all understand that it’s not his fault that he's so desperately tired and unable to function anymore.
Matt smiles and nods before turning back around and walking slowly as he guides Chris, who’s still glued to his side down the corridor in the direction of the elevators, making sure to keep is voice low and soft as he narrates, always wanting Chris to feel safe in his care even if he’s too exhausted to fully process his words, it never fails to send a surge of warmth through Nick. He can't help but smile as he watches them go, knowing that he’s got nothing to worry about now that Chris is being looked after by Matt, who he knows would stop at nothing to ensure their youngest’s safety and comfort when he's in such a fragile state.
He turns quickly on his heel and hurries to make his way back towards the conference room, mentally running through a checklist of all of their items that he needs to pick up and pack from where they’re strewn messily across the fancy glass table.
3 laptops, my notebook, Matt’s pencil case, did Chris bring his bag?... He repeats to himself as he readies himself to swing around the doorframe and back into the conference room but the sound of two voices inside the room stops him dead in his tracks just as he reaches the threshold.
He can't quite make out what exactly is being said at first but the sharp and mocking tone makes his chest freeze; the taunting laughter stabs angrily at his chest as he's brought back to high school locker rooms and boys in the grade above.
He leans in closer and pushes the door open a little more, listening closely in the hopes of getting any kind of confirmation that the two cruel voices are talking about them, though deep down he already knows. He's not stupid, he knows people talk about them, no stranger to the unkind remarks people make about them, more specifically about him as they pass by. Despite this, he still feels guilty for listening in on what's clearly meant to be a private conversation but he can't bring himself to stop, intuition telling him to listen carefully, that he needed to hear this and he’s never been one to ignore his intuition.
He realises pretty quickly that it's the two interns on their team, Jules and…what was it, Max? The pair sneer as they talk loudly inside the room, not seeming to care about being heard by anyone outside of the room as they laugh, mock and tease.
“...like, they’re just so fucking weird, dont you think? They give me the creeps dude,” Jules says with disdain clear in her voice as she continues, “They must've bought their following, cause there's like no way they made it to where they are on their own. Like Matt? Ew, he’s so fucking quiet and unnerving, like there’s gotta be something wrong with him,”
“Oh yeah, there has to be, and don't get me started on Chris,” Max laughs as he moves a couple of chairs back around the table, joining in as Jules fake gags at the notion of his sweet and kind brothers, “Not only does he act like a child, like grow up dude, he literally looks so bad, like those bags under his eyes, yeeeeshhh…”
“How can anyone think he’s cute, I don't get it,” Jules smirks.
Nick's eyes begin to sting as he listens from behind the door, his heart aching as he thinks back to the early hours of this morning with Chris’ head in his lap as they lay on the sofa together. His younger brother whimpering softly as his breath stutters in frustrated sighs as his mind wouldn't quiet and let him get the rest he so desperately needed. It was painfully clear that he was struggling beyond what was normal as Nick sweetly stroked a hand through his hair and tried his best to settle him with soft words, he understood just how awful this was for him and how drained Chris must be with this being his fourth night in a row of interrupted sleep.
As he continues to listen to the pair's cutting words, his sorrow twists, snapping into something seething and furious. His fists clenching tightly against his sides, nails digging painfully into his palm as he forces himself to remain steady. He’s furious, teeth clenching with the urge to storm in and cause a scene; his eyes ablaze as he screams and shouts in defense of his two younger brothers. The two most important people in the world to him, the only two who weren’t currently there to defend themselves.
Begrudgingly, he resists, using every bit of willpower he has left not to move as he bites his tongue so hard he thinks it might bleed. He forces himself to remember that these people and their words don't mean shit, telling himself that he shouldn't care what they have to say, that he doesn't care. Matt and Chris wouldn't want him to care, they'd tell him to ignore it, laugh it off, that these people know nothing and that he'd be wasting his time by fighting back. But it doesn't feel like a waste of time, not to him, not now as he's standing outside the door listening to the way venomous words curl around twisted lips.
He remains unmoving as the rational part that's left of his brain reminds him that he’s still technically at work and needs to remain professional and calm, the realisation only pisses him off further. The unfairness of it all only builds the heavy ache in his chest, the fact that he's still having to remain professional when they're the ones talking about his brothers.
He begs for his body to move, desperate to fight back, to protect his brothers from words they should never and will never hear, at least not while he has any control over it. But before he can even think of anything to do, or say, his attention is drawn back inside the room.
“And Nick, like, do you think they all came out fucking weird or…” Max says disparagingly, “Damn, I would really hate to be their parents, can you imagine having not one but three fucked up kids?”
“Wow, like not even one good one,” Jules jeers, “I just know they're so disappointed, like imagine the gay kid being the best option out of the three,”
“Yikes,” Max laughs sadistically as they burst into malicious laughter.
Nick can hardly breathe as anger and hurt swarms inside his chest with the unwavering need to step in and do something but he's rooted to the spot, unable to do anything more than simply listen to the cruel and unfair words being said about the people he loves, his heart cracking a little more with every heartless word they say. He feels tears spring to his eyes the longer he just stands there as guilt igniting in his chest and setting fire to his lungs as he fails to fight back, fails to protect his brothers like he’d always promised he would.
And up until now, he always had. He had always fought for them, always defended them, always threw himself in the way of others if it meant protecting them because that’s what older brothers did, wasn't it? So why did this time feel so different?
“Oh Nick!” Maria greets brightly as she comes up behind him, making him jump about a foot in the air, “You’re still here, did you need anything else?”
Nick whirls around and forces himself to return her sunny smile, though it feels tight against his bitten through lips, “Oh no, all good here!” he recovers quickly, leaning against the door threshold in a way he hopes looks casual, “I just came back to grab the rest of our stuff,”
Maria smiles warmly at him, blissfully unaware of the complete devastation that’s bubbling hot inside of him and threatening to boil over at any moment, as she holds open the conference room door for him. Nick watches her startle for a moment, surprised by the sight of her two interns standing inside smiling up at her innocently, which only adds fuel to the fire raging in his chest.
“Oh, I thought I sent the two of you out for lunch,” She questions as Nick flies past her in order to grab their things off of the table as quickly as possible, not daring to make eye contact with anyone as he stuffs Matt’s overfilled pencil case into his bag.
“You did,” Max nods and deliberately keeps his tone light which only makes Nick’s skin crawl, “We just wanted to tidy the conference room a bit first,”
“Thanks guys, I appreciate that,” Maria smiles, seemingly touched by their gesture as she guides them out of the room with an encouraging, “you guys work too hard,”
Max and Jules laugh sweet as saccharin as they leave the room behind Maria, though Nick doesn't miss the way they side eye him, neither backing down nor rescinding their earlier comments, apparently not caring that he’d obviously heard everything, maybe even pleased that he had.
A hot feeling of shame crawls into his chest and burns hot on his cheeks as he finally zips up his backpack. The regret he feels at his own inaction is immediate and almost paralysing. He hates himself for not saying anything, for not calling them out, instead he’d simply allowed these two nobodies to callously laugh, mock and insult them.
He’s pathetic.
Some protector he is.
Nick swings himself into the backseat, moving faster than he thinks he ever has before with the urgent need to get himself and his brothers the hell away from here and back home to safety.
He could protect them from there.
“What the hell took you so long, kid?” Matt asks, eyeing him in the rear-view mirror, his voice warm but quiet as he stays mindful of Chris, who’s finally asleep in the front seat beside him, hood up and slumped against the passenger window.
“Sorry,” he mutters, unable to summon any of his usual fiery comebacks, “let’s go,”
“D’you wanna swing by anywhere on the way back?” Matt offers, knowing that none of them had eaten yet today and were likely to be starving by the time they got home, though Nick doesn't know how to tell him that he’s violently lost his appetite, having been stamped out by his own deep seated guilt.
He can't bring himself to say much of anything, and so shakes his head, muttering something about ordering in later instead as he pretends not to see the concerned look that the younger sends his way, icy blue eyes squinting as he notices his sudden and unwarranted change in his mood. Matt had always been the most sensitive to the moods of those around him, something of a walking emotional barometer, always the first to notice when someone is feeling off, which up until this exact moment Nick had always deeply admired about Matt but now that it's directed at him, he's not so enamoured. Thankfully, the younger doesn't mention his sudden sour mood, instead pulls out of the parking lot ready to drive them home.
The journey back is quiet, neither of them talk as Matt quietly hums along to something playing through the speakers just to fill the silence, leaving Nick alone in the backseat to ruminate on what had just happened and endlessly repeat the way he had just failed to stand up and protect his two younger brothers.
The disgust he feels at his own inaction, weighs heavy in his chest and makes him feel a little sick as he struggles to think of a single justification for why he didn't just speak up and defend them. He could have, and knows that he should have. He had let them down and knew it, feeling it deeply in his chest. He’s hopeless to stop the way shame nettles itself deeper inside of his chest, feeling it grow and curl itself around every bit of him with every thought of something he could've said, should've said to them.
Did he just put his career before his own brothers? He wonders for a second but quickly forces that one down, unable to think about that without making his insides twist horribly, feeling sick to his stomach.
Because that's why he didn't speak up, wasn't it? Because he's more than sure that they would have been thrown out of their new shiny agency, kicked to the curb and probably blacklisted with their ruined reputation, and then what? Then, not only would he have to explain to his brothers how they were being belittled so viciously behind their backs, with words he swears he’ll never repeat to them, but also that he’d managed to ruin everything they'd worked so hard for. That everything they’d built together, piece by piece had all come crashing down because Nick hadn't kept a tighter hold of his tongue.
Somewhere deep inside him, perhaps that still professional and rational part of him that he hadn't let go of yet, reasoned that he had done the right thing.
So why did he feel so completely and devastatingly wrong?
The thoughts of how he’d failed continue in an unrelenting mantra inside his head well into the evening, only causing him to feel increasingly and overwhelmingly repulsed by himself in a way he hasn't for such a long time. He’s so deeply ashamed that he can’t bring himself to eat anything; not even the few fries that Chris had been offering him by waving them in front of his face, brows furrowing with every bite he’s refused. He knows his brothers can tell something’s wrong, the atmosphere’s being kept deliberately calm as no one dares to move too sharply or say anything that might just be the wrong thing and unknowingly set him off, which only makes him feel worse. He hates when they feel like they have to tread on eggshells around him.
He’s meant to be their safe person. Their protector.
“You sure you're okay, Nick?” Matt asks from the far end of the sofa, side eyeing him softly.
Nick clears his throat but stays quiet for a moment, refusing to meet his eyes as he finally answers, “yeah, I-uh, I’m just super tired,”
“You sure? You didn't eat, like at all,” Chris adds from where he’s sitting between them, curled up in one of their many blankets. His head rests heavily against the couch cushions as he continues to fight off sleep, the nap he’d had in the car had done wonders but they all knew it wasn't enough, “we saved you some stuff if you want it,”
Nick’s heart warms at their care and concern, only to be immediately frozen over by a surge of guilt, rearing up and squeezing at his chest until he’s left winded. They care for him so much, so deeply that it shows in each and every one of their actions, but what does he do? He can't even defend them in their absence, some big brother he claims to be, he thinks woefully.
He can't stop himself from imagining just how disheartened they would be to hear about what had happened back in the conference room, not only about the words that were said, but also the words that weren't said, the words that Nick hadn't said despite the way they had scratched and crawled inside his chest, desperate to be let out.
He’s such a fucking coward.
He offers a tight smile in Chris’ direction as he shakes his head, hoping that they’ll simply drop the issue and just accept that he's exhausted after the past few weeks that they’d had.
To his relief, they seem to believe him as they don’t push, instead simply turning their attention back towards the Patriots game playing on the TV, keeping half an eye on the score as they swipe through their phones and murmuring quietly between themselves, leaving Nick to stare blankly at his own, barely able to see the screen through his watery eyes.
They stay like that for a while, an hour or two, before Nick eventually breaks.
The game’s over, the TV now running replays of the game as the three of them continue to stare at their phones, preoccupied with sending each other stupid videos and tiktoks from across the couch, smiling warmly to each other when they can't help but laugh at whatever video finally makes them crack up.
He loves this, loves spending time with his brothers like this, all three of them together, hanging out as the mood lighting casts the room in a soft blue glow. There’s no agenda, no tasks to be completed, nothing to argue about or organise, they’re just simply recharging together. Nick finally allows himself to relax, letting himself melt back into the couch cushions with a sigh, looking forward to spending the rest of the weekend doing more of this, with them.
Eventually and inevitably, they get bored. Chris moves first, as usual, throwing his phone down as he flops clumsily into Matt’s lap, successfully blocking his view of his phone too as he sighs contentedly and says, “I like our new team, they're nice,”
“So nice, right?” Matt agrees softly, moving to put his phone away in favour of combing through Chris’ hair, “we got so lucky,”
Chris nods enthusiastically, sighing happily at the feeling of Matt’s cold hands in his hair, “I feel really good about them and the interns were like the nicest people ever,”
Matt and Chris continue to talk softly about their new team, gushing about how kind they are and how grateful they are to be a part of something so beyond what they ever thought could be possible for three boys from Boston. As they talk between themselves, they fail to notice how Nick lurches, sitting rigidly on the other end of the couch, no longer a soft pile of tired limbs as every bitter feeling he’d been trying so desperately to get rid of this evening returns with what feels like a sledgehammer to his chest.
“What’d you think, Nick?” He barely registers Chris’s voice through the static in his ears, as both of his brothers turn towards him, their matching aqua-blue eyes, so much like his own, fixed on him with interest.
Nick suddenly can't breathe, let alone answer as the all consuming hurt, anger and self-hatred that have been swirling around in his chest since this afternoon, finally spill over. He can't hide it from them anymore, the burden’s too heavy, too out of control for him to reign back in. He needs them to know that he’d failed them, that he’d let them down, that they couldn't trust him and that he wasn't the big brother they believed he was. He’s never been good at holding onto secrets, even those kept for his own benefit, and this was no exception.
It was beginning to eat him alive.
At his lack of answer, those two sets of bright and curious eyes that he loves so much, dim into worried frowns. The pair exchange a sad look and sit up in order to shuffle further up the couch and towards him, knowing that something must be really wrong for Nick to be acting like this as he’s normally so open and honest about his hurt. When others upset him, Matt and Chris are always the first to hear about it, always the first to listen as he recounts what had happened, never failing to clasp their hands tightly into his as they offer what they can in the way of comfort and solutions.
“Did something happen, Nick? Is there something you’re not telling us?” Matt asks gently, always the quickest to assess a situation and act accordingly, moving to take a seat next to him as he doesn't hesitate to reach down to place one of Nick’s tense hands into his own.
Nick tries his best to deny it, to shake his head and assure them that everything is fine and there’s nothing for them to worry about but a stuttering breath betrays him. He hears the sad yet inquisitive hum from either side of him as his brothers shift closer, their resolve to find out what had happened only strengthening when he can’t stop a second stuttered breath from escaping.
Chris moves to settle on the other of him and meets Matt’s eyes with matching worried expressions, desperate to find out what had upset their brother in such a way.
Their brother, their Nick. Their oldest. The one who loved them so absolutely, who always had their backs, who never failed to cheer for them the loudest out of anyone, always lifting them up and fighting for them with clenched fists and gritted teeth, never once caring if he got into trouble, as long as his younger brothers were okay and protected.
Nick can't help the first few tears that escape his eyes and fall furiously down his cheeks, eliciting a quiet gasp from Chris as he quickly reaches up with the soft sleeve of his hoodie to wipe them away, practically begging as he mumbles, “talk to us?”
“I just feel so guilty,” he starts, before stopping, unable to say anything more before a heartwrenching sob erupts from his chest.
The two look at him miserably as they ask, “why? What do you have to feel guilty about?”
Nick tilts his head back, as if that would help to contain the tears that’re now freely falling down his flushed cheeks as he sobs once more before continuing, his voice barely a whisper, “I don't want you to think that I can't protect you, that I intentionally failed you, or t-that I put myself before you guys because I swear that I would never,”
The two nod carefully as he continues, sharing a worried look over his head as they’re both unable to think of a reason why Nick would ever feel that way, they know all of this and they have never once doubted him.
“I-i hate that you were saying all that nice stuff a-about them, about those fucking interns, be-because they were saying such horrible things about you!” Nick tells them as the guilt finally explodes, feeling as though his chest was imploding on itself with the weight that he was carrying.
“Okay,” Matt starts softly, brows furrowing in confusion as he rubs his thumb over his and Nick’s entwined hands, “but people say mean things to us all the time. They’re nobodies, Nick,”
“I mean yeah, sure, that's kinda shitty but why has it upset you so much, I don't get it?” Chris adds as he moves to lean his head against Nick’s shoulder, not minding the way it moves unsteadily in time with his laboured breathing.
“They were saying truly awful, awful things, and I just stood there!!” Nick sobs, now moving his hands away from thiers in order to hide his face in shame, not wanting to see their reactions when he admits to how he’d let them down, “I let them say all this stuff about you that’s completely untrue, and I didn't say a fucking word, I-I didn't even try to defend you! What kind of a brother am I, if I can’t even defend you from people like that?!”
Matt and Chris sigh sadly, eyes meeting each other again as Nick continues to cry helplessly, conversing quietly between themselves, hearts aching painfully. They both know that Nick puts too much pressure on himself, holding the title of oldest triplet like a badge of honour, he always had. But they had no idea it was making him feel so devastatingly inadequate when he didn't do what he expected of himself because Matt and Chris had never asked anything of him, had never once expected anything more than what he gave to them, which in their eyes was already everything .
“But we don’t need defending, honey,” Matt continues in a whisper, “I wouldn’t want you to have to put yourself in that situation, especially not with managers and important people around,”
“But-”
“Matt’s right, Nicky,” Chris jumps in, “Let them talk. Plus, I’m sure you probably heard some pretty nasty things said in there about you too right? I’m sorry you had to hear that,”
Matt hums softly in agreement, reaching out to pull Nick into his chest, curling his arms around him securely and presses his lips to his forehead as he continues to cry against him, “you did the right thing, Nick,”
“But it doesn't feel like it!” Nick wails desperately, something about the solid warm and unwavering comfort that Matt was providing, finally opens the floodgates for all of his guilt, shame and anguish to come pouring out as he lets out painful and ragged sounds from where he's buried into the space between the his shoulder and his chest.
“I feel so bad, cause you guys would’ve done something if they said something about me right?” Nick continues sobbing, almost choking as he says, “You would’ve stood up for me,”
“Yes of course we would have-”
“-Obviously we would!”
Chris and Matt immediately say as if it's obvious, because to them it is. There is no world that exists for them where there’s any possibility of them not standing up for or defending Nick, but it only makes him feel worse.
“But I didn't do it for you!” Nick pleads hopelessly, feeling as though his heart might split in two by how ashamed he is of himself.
“So?” Chris asks casually, as if he wasn't at all shaken by Nick’s admission, “Nick, listen to me, it’s okay. You made the right call. This is professional shit, not some stupid high school locker room bullshit,”
“Chris is right,” Matt tells him from where his lips are still pressed against the crown of his head, his murmuring voice sending soft vibrations though his body, “just because you didn't do anything in the moment, doesn't mean that you’ve failed us. You could never do that, you hear me?”
Nick sighs and relaxes further into Matt, all of the tension leaving his body as he nods shakily, wiping away at his eyes harshly only to have his hands lifted away kindly by Chris, who replaces them with his own, wiping away the wetness on his cheeks sweetly, the younger’s face so full of warmth and understanding, he doesn't know what to do with it all but he feels the way the tight knot in his chest is beginning to loosen.
“Hey listen, we can still do something about this, if it means that much to you,” Matt tells him, “we can write a complaint, move teams, even agencies if we have to,”
“We can't do that-!”
“Sure we can, I sure as hell don’t wanna stay signed to an agency that badmouths me and my brothers like that," Chris nods decidedly but sobers a little as he looks sadly back at the sorry state of their older brother, watching as tears continue to fall from his eyes, faster than he’s able to wipe them away. Unable to stop himself as he reaches out and clings to whatever part of him he can reach, his hand that's not soaking up his tears, lands on his chest as he rubs tenderly against the worn fabric of his t-shirt with the need for Nick to know that he’s there, and not going anywhere, “you’re all good, Nick, please don’t think you’ve let us down,”
“I’m still so sorry,” Nick sniffles as his sobs begin to subside.
“You don’t need to be,” Matt reasons with him calmly, “but I’ll forgive you, if it helps at all,”
“It does,” Nick nods, sighing heavily in relief as the weight in his chest finally begins to lift, only to be replaced by the overbearing physical weight of his two brothers just moments later, though he knows which he prefers.
“Then I forgive you too,” Chris smiles, laughing as he manages to maneuver his way on top of both Matt and Nick, laughing harder as they groan and grumble dramatically underneath him.
Eventually Matt loses his patience and shoves Chris off of them, still laughing as he flops safely onto the couch cushions beside them, never straying too far. They decide to keep it easy for the rest of the night, Chris practically running to fetch all the snacks that Nick enjoys out of the cupboard since he hadn’t eaten yet. Rushing to bring them all over to the coffee table before collapsing back onto the sofa and curling into the space right next to Nick, who winds an arm around him and presses a kiss to his forehead in place of a thank you, before turning back to Matt to bicker over what movie they should put on.
They eventually decide on Toy Story, a safe childhood favourite as they settle further into the couch cushions, none of them really watching as their eyes begin to droop heavily with the weight of their exhaustion. Chris falls asleep first, his severe lack of sleep catching up with him again, though he’s closely followed by Nick, his head resting on the top of Chris’ as they're snuggled messily into the sofa in a tangle of limbs. Matt huffs a laugh as he keeps half an eye on them both, their awkward positioning reminding him of one of their many pictures together as children where the two of them would curl around each other as if it was the safest place in the universe. The movie eventually plays out and Matt groggily turns the volume down as the opening credits to the second movie starts, now only serving as background noise as the two next to him continue to sleep peacefully. He half debates waking them up and forcing them to brush their teeth and actually get ready for bed, knowing that they’ll all probably sleep better if they do but he decides that one night wouldn’t hurt, they needed this more than they needed minty breath and a mattress underneath them and so lets settles himself down and curl around them too and letting his eyes fall closed, smiling softly as Nick reaches out to pull him a little closer towards him feeling safe, secure and protected in the presence of his brothers, the same way that he knows all three of them always have and always will.