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“Ben, will you stop!” Anthony hissed, “You are shaking the whole pew with your leg jumping like that”
“Sorry…..I…..” He said worriedly, “We need to do something, you heard him on the phone this morning”
Anthony looked at him, knowing exactly what he was referring to,
“It is a bit late now, what…”
Anthony was interrupted by the beginning of the music signalling the entrance of the bride.
“She looks beautiful” Ben said earnestly,
“She does” Anthony nodded,
“But he is not for her”
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of….
“We are biased” Anthony said, clearly agreeing but hating the reality.
“We are right”
“So what are you going to do about it, Brother?” Hyacinth said from the row behind, poking her head between them.
The Bride and Groom have asked me to pass on their gratitude for you all attending this joyous day…
“Something that I will not be forgiven for” he sighed,
“I will if you will” she offered,
Today marks the beginning of our couple’s new lives…
“What are you going to do?” Anthony asked, but the minister's next line answered that question with disturbing clarity. “Oh no”
If there are any reasons that they should not be joined in marriage, speak now, or forever hold your peace.
“Yep” he took a deep breath “here goes nothing”
As he stood, all eyes immediately darting to me, he gave a polite nod to those who had turned to watch before raising his hand hesitantly,
“I Object”
Earlier…
“You look hot”
“Thanks” she chuckled,
“No, you really do. You are too good for him”
“El…” she sighed defeatedly, “Not today, please”
“Pen, this is quite literally the last moment I can” she pleaded, “If you can tell me right now you love him, that you want to marry him, I will stop.” Eloise took a step closer, taking her hands, “but if not, we can go right now. I can make Anthony handle it in there”
“I want to be a wife El”
“Notice that you didn’t say you wanted to be his wife”
“That is what I meant”
“Penelope Featherington, best-selling author, lover of the written word…you know they are not the same, and I know you are not careless enough to mix them up”
“I don’t know what you want from me” she huffed,
“I just want you to be happy”
“Alfred is perfectly nice, handsome, and has a good job. He is better than I could have hoped for. I will be content in our life together.”
“Content isn’t happy, Pen”
“No…” she nodded, eyes misty, “but it is a hell of a lot better than being lonely”
“You deserve to be happy”
“Most of us don’t get the storybook happily ever after Eloise. It just isn’t in the cards.” She fixed her veil in the mirror, clearing her throat, “We should get going, it’s nearly time”
Eloise came to peer over her shoulder.
“You look really beautiful, Pen, go knock them dead” she said with a wink.
She reached out and squeezed her hands, a silent thank you for the change in attitude.
“Let’s go get you hitched”
Penelope always had an idea of what she wanted for her own wedding; in fact, she had spent far too many hours one summer planning the perfect event. The pouffy dress with the sequins that captured her ten-year-old heart was cut out of a magazine and stuck into a scrapbook, the same one that made her 29-year-old self start to itch just looking at it. It was all planned: the cake, the music, the flowers and even the groom. Well, it looked like some of her tastes hadn’t managed to change nearly twenty years later.
She snapped out of her stupor, just in time to watch Eloise walk down the aisle, looking as pretty as ever in her pale pink dress. She smiled to herself. Her choice of bridesmaid also hadn’t changed in two decades. Alfie just had a best man, Phillip, an old friend from university, so Penelope just had the one person too. Which, in a way, she was glad of, as she was quite certain she would have had half of the Bridgerton family up there with her, and she could not have picked.
The music changed, meaning it was her turn. She was nervous, of course she was. It was a big deal, and now she was second-guessing her decision to walk the aisle by herself. But she had nowhere to go except forward.
Alfie looked handsome; she couldn’t refute that. Their eyes met, they both smiled. It was polite, measured, and calm. But there were no tears of joy or excitement. It was pleasant, and it was safe. She often wondered if he felt the same, the more comfort than passion that she did, or, honestly, he was just the type not to take notice.
“Penny” he said softly, “You look lovely”
“Thank you, are you ready?”
“Very” he smiled.
The officiant greeted them and then began to address the room.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Penelope Anne Featherington and Alfred James Debling. The Bride and Groom have asked me to pass on their gratitude for you all attending this joyous day and bearing witness to the commitment they are here to make. Today marks the start of our couple’s new life together, so before we begin, we need to get this point out of the way, formalities and whatnot” He laughed, “To all in attendance today, If there are any reasons that these two people should not be joined in marriage, speak now, or forever hold your peace.”
There was a beat of silence, then a very clear,
“I object”
If someone had given Penelope a lifetime’s worth of guesses as to how today would go, not a single one of them would have been Benedict Bridgerton standing up and objecting to her marriage. Her head snapped round to him as frantic whispers began. She took a small amount of solace in just how distressed he looked.
“I object too,” Hyacinth called out, now standing beside her brother,
Penelope blinked,
“Me too,” Gregory said, chorused by Francesca and Daphne, who had dragged Simon up too.
“Oh, for Christ's sake” Anthony mumbled, joining them “I also object”
Kate stood too, then Violet, even from so far away, she could see a few tears escape her eyes. She turned to Eloise, who looked to be fighting every cell in her body not to do the same. But she stayed silent, for Penelope’s sake.
Then Rae and Genevieve also stood, quickly followed by Edwina.
“What is happening right now?” she whispered under her breath.
“You didn’t know?” Alfie asked, petulantly.
“That they were all going to cause a scene?” She snapped back, “Of course not”
“Sorry…I just didn’t mean to assume…” he said regretfully,
Then, her own mother stood, “I also object”
That caused the whispers to fade into complete silence. Portia was never one to go against the societal grain, so this? This made her panic.
Her eyes shot around the room, landing on each face of the people who stood, some more conflicted than resigned. But none of them had made a move to rescind the sentiment.
There was a sharp squeak from the doors at the back that made everyone turn, interrupting the gravity of the moment. Then, to Penelope’s complete surprise, in walked Colin Bridgerton, and instantly she could tell he had no idea what he had just stumbled into.
6 Months Earlier…
“Hi, Pen”, Colin greeted her as she arrived at Bridgerton House for brunch one Sunday, pulling her into a hug that lifted her feet momentarily off the ground.
“Colin! I didn’t realise you were home. I thought your flight was next week?”
“It was. I got an earlier one. I kind of missed my best friend”
She allowed herself a second of the dreamy smile before she returned to reality,
“How was Indonesia?”
“It was great, really, but I am sure you are sick of me texting you about it.”
“Never, I always love hearing about your trips”
He smiled excitedly, “Well…”
“Food is ready!” Violet called out from the kitchen.
“Tell me after?” She said quickly,
“You got it”
When they had all settled down around the table, they chatted about Gregory and Hyacinth's exams, a new case Eloise was working on and organising plans for the next pub night.
“Oh, Pen, how is the wedding planning going?”
She flushed,
“Oh…good, it is coming along faster than we thought”
“Wedding?” Colin asked, “Did Pip and Albion get engaged?”
The whole table stopped eating.
“Erm…no. I’m the one getting married,” she said timidly.
“What? When?”
“Alfie asked about a month ago. I said yes,” she breathed, half-heartedly lifting her left hand, which sported a rather large diamond ring.
“You didn’t tell me” he whispered,
“I was going to…I promise. I just didn’t know when. And then I kept putting it off, thinking I could do it in person, and then it became too long ago”
“I thought I was your friend” he said, brokenheartedly,
“Colin…”
“Have you picked a date?” He croaked out,
“September 27th, this year."
He nodded,
“I will send your invitation here, for when you get back from whatever trip you are on next”
“Erm…I’m sorry, I have been contracted for a special assignment around South America. I will be gone for 8 months. I won’t be able to go”
“Oh….”
“I’m so sorry, Pen”
“It’s ok” she nodded, trying to blink away the tears before they became noticeable. “I completely understand. I am sure there is a crazy fine if you were going to break the contract”
“Something like that” he nodded, “but Congratulations, Pen,” the words felt worryingly hollow from both points of view.
“Thank you, Col”
“Would you all excuse me, I have taken a really bad headache. I must be tired after all that travelling”
He didn’t let a word pass before he disappeared upstairs. Penelope left early that day.
Back to the present...
Colin had done many embarrassing things in his life, like sprinting across the football pitch naked or falling flat on his face on his way into the first year of high school. But walking in late to a wedding he said he wouldn’t attend was certainly up there. Only worsened by the number of eyes that had landed on him. He put his head down and walked to where his family were standing……wait…standing?
“Why are you all standing?” He whispered to Frannie,
“Oh, Colin” she sighed,
“What?”
“We all may have objected to the marriage” Gregory helpfully supplied with a smile
“You did what?” He hissed, “All of you sit down now!”
“Sorry, brother, no can do” Hyacinth said, a little too happily.
“Are you finished over there?” The officiant said, interrupting them,
“Sorry” they murmured
He turned to Benedict,
“Mr….?”
“Bridgerton”
“Mr Bridgerton, you were the first to object. May I ask your reason?”
“My reason?” Benedict said nervously,
“Yes, why did you put a halt to proceedings?”
“I….erm…”
“Do you have reason to believe one of the parties is already married?”
“Oh…no, that isn’t it”
“Do you believe them to be related?”
“Definitely not”
“Then do you think that Miss Featherington or Mr Debling are being coerced into the marriage, or that they are marrying for the intention of committing an act of fraud?”
“No, none of that either”
“So…why did you object?”
“Erm….” He knew why he objected, but announcing it to the room felt so very wrong.
“I, like my brother, and everyone else, objected for personal reasons” Hyacinth said, trying to help him.
“Ok….” The officiant said slowly, “I…erm….appreciate the concern, but personal reasons are not grounds for stopping the ceremony. There is no legal basis for it.”
There was a rush of whispers across the room.
“The only two people that could stop it now are Mr Debling and Miss Featherington”
“Well, we don’t want to do that. There has already been enough disruption today, don’t you think?” Alfie laughed, face falling slightly as he looked at Penelope, “Penny?”
“I would like to speak to my mother, excuse me”
Portia had already moved out of her seat, directing her over to the side of the room where they couldn’t be heard. A minute later, Penelope walked back to where her husband-to-be was standing. She kept opening and closing her mouth, trying to find the words.
Alfie sighed heavily, “It’s ok, just say it….”
“I’m sorry….I just…I can’t”
She didn’t say another word, and she didn’t wait for him to either, just turned and began to walk back down the aisle. The objectors had all sat down now, their job seemingly done, although concern was etched into their faces. She locked eyes with Colin as she got level with where he was sitting.
“Do you have your car?”
He nodded,
“Any chance of a lift?” She asked, lips trembling,
“Of course” he said, jumping to his feet, “It’s just out the front”
“Thank you”
The pair of them walked out, side by side, not taking a second glance back. Leaving a ripple of shock behind them.
“Pen? Are you ok?” Colin finally asked once they were in the car.
“Define ok?” She laughed, humourlessly.
“Fair enough” he nodded,
“Where do you want to go?”
“I don’t know…I can’t go home. It isn’t just mine, and I think when you are the one to walk out on a wedding, the other person gets to stay in the house. Fairness and all that”
“We could go to my flat?”
She looked at him in bewilderment, “You have a flat?”
“Yes”
“Since when?”
He hesitated, but answered, “Since three months ago”
That only confused her more.
“Why?…you left for South America six months ago, what was the point if you aren’t there? And how are you here? You said you couldn’t get out of the contract”
“I will explain all of that, I promise. But not right now, please”
“Sure” she nodded, “your flat would be fine, as long as you don’t mind”
“Not at all”
10 minutes they had parked up and were inside. It was very….Coliny. Bright, open, and airy, with well-made dark furniture, a big kitchen, and souvenirs he had collected during his travels dotted around.
“Would you like a cup of tea?”
She nodded silently,
“And would you like something to change into? Your dress must be uncomfortable”
“Oh” she breathed, forgetting about that and the veil that was still attached to her head. “If you have something?”
“Take anything you want from the drawers or the wardrobe, it’s just the one on the right. I will put the kettle on”
“Colin” he looked up, “Thank you”
“You’re welcome” he said with a small smile.
She disappeared into his bedroom, pulling out a pair of shorts and his dark green sweatshirt that she loved.
She took out the veil, not caring about how she folded it. She was hardly going to use it again. Then realised very quickly she couldn’t get herself out of the dress.
There was only one option, she could hardly go back and just sit about in the dress pretending as if nothing happened.
“Colin?” She called out from the doorway,
His face appeared, “Yeah?”
“Could you…I can’t undo the buttons on the back myself. Would you try? Or maybe get me a pair of scissors?”
“It’s ok, turn around”
Goosebumps erupted on her skin as his fingers brushed her.
“Are you cold?”
“A little” she lied, her whole body feeling like a furnace in that moment. Every breath he let out hit her neck, only adding to that feeling.
He worked deftly, each button falling open with ease until he reached the last.
“There you go” he said, taking a quick step back. “I will…I will be just out there”
She stepped out of the gown and was suddenly able to breathe for the first time in hours, and not just after she rid herself of the god-awful shape-wear that she had been forced into earlier that morning.
Pulling the pins out of her hair and washing some of the makeup off made her feel a lot more like herself than she would have thought. She pulled on the pair of shorts, which would have been laughably short on Colin himself, and ones she would have teased him for owning on a different day, but they hit her just above the knee, and the sweatshirt, which both smelled of him, and she nearly burst into tears.
Before this, they hadn’t spoken in six months, not since that day at Bridgerton House. She had messaged a couple of times in the following days to apologise, but he hadn’t responded. Eventually, she gave up. She knew he was hurt that she didn’t tell him about the engagement, but not so far as to ghost her.
That was the thing, though, all those months ago, when Alfie proposed, she told her family, the Bridgertons, her hairdresser, even Sophie from the local cafe. But she didn’t tell Colin, she wanted to, but she couldn’t. She had made up some excuse that she wanted to do in person, but in reality, once she told him, it would close a chapter that she wasn’t sure she was ready to say goodbye to.
Penelope had loved Colin for as long as she could remember. He saved her on the first day of school from some bullies, and she was hooked. She never left his orbit once, even when he left hers. He was incredibly attractive; whatever was in the pipes in Bridgerton House needed to be investigated as the whole family was on a similar par. But that wasn’t really what drew her to him. He was kind and thoughtful, more than anyone she knew. There wasn’t a person on earth that she loved talking to more than him, not even Eloise. When she should have been getting married, she was going to finally make peace with the fact that she could never have him, in any capacity, past friendship. She was under no illusion that it would actually happen, but minds didn’t always follow logic like that. If she were ever asked her favourite person, she would have to say Alfie or joke that it was El, but those two weren’t the truth, and quite frankly, never would be.
But now that she had walked away, what on earth could she do?
Deciding that question was best saved for later, she headed back to the living room.
“Here” he said, appearing beside her with a steaming mug. “There is an extra sugar in it, I thought you might need it”
“Thank you”
They wandered over to the sofa.
“So are we going to talk about it?” He said, sitting down and turning his body to face her.
“What? Did something happen?” she said with a tired smile.
He almost snorted before leaning in slightly and softly asking,
“Pen, why did you run away from your wedding?”
Her throat tightened,
“I couldn’t marry him”
“Did something happen?”
“No…I just…I don’t love him. I never did. But I liked him well enough, and I did care about him. He was nice to talk to, he is a good man,” she started to ramble, “I mean, he could be a bit one-dimensional and dry. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. He was just very….particular. But then Eloise started on me when I was getting ready, and then your family objected, and then you walked in, and then, my mother in all of that is a totally different story. I just couldn’t. I am sad and mortified and relieved all at once, and my brain is screaming, what do I do?”
“First thing is first, take a breath”
“Yeah, good plan” she said, closing her eyes and doing just that.
“I messaged El when you were changing. Everyone is fine, no one is angry with you.”
“Not even Alfie?”
“Apparently not, she said he is weirdly indifferent.”
“Oh…is that good?” She asked him,
“No idea, I suppose it isn’t bad”
“Do you know why Ben objected, and then the rest of them?”
She noticed him become a little cagey, looking away from her for the first time.
“Erm…it may be better to ask him”
“Right” she nodded,
They fell into silence,
“Do you forgive me?” She asked quietly,
He scrunched his eyebrows,
“What are you talking about? You have nothing to be forgiven for”
“Colin, this is the first time we have talked since March. Did you not realise?”
“No, no, I knew. I assure you I think about very little else,” he murmured, “I am sorry I fell off the grid. It wasn’t just you; it was kind of everybody. Mum and Ant got the ‘I swear I’m alive’ messages but not much more.”
“How was Argentina, or Chile or Bolivia? I don’t actually know where you were going, or how far you got in your trip.” She asked, before adding sadly, “I used to know everything"
He looked uncomfortable again,
“About that…there was no trip, I erm…I made it up”
“What?” She breathed,
“I didn’t have a special assignment; there was no contract. I have been in England since we spoke last.”
“You mean to say I have been going out of my mind with guilt and you have been pottering about London with not a care in the world?” She said bitterly,
“No Pen. I have been staying at Aubrey Hall. The only person who knew where I was was Anthony. I asked him to get this place for me, and I started to furnish it last week when I came back to the city.”
“So what is?…what?…I am so confused right now,” she said, shaking her head before landing on “Why?”
He should have thought about that before he started to explain, because right now his mind was blank except for admitting the truth.
“It can’t have been because I didn’t tell you about the engagement, I am so sorry for not, but making up a whole trip seems extreme”
“No…that isn’t why” he managed to say.
“Then what?”
“I needed to hide away from everything for a while”
“No, Colin, I am going to need more than that!”
“Pen”
“No, you are my best friend, you didn’t speak to me for months, you weren’t there for all the wedding stuff, you weren’t there to….” She halted, tears filling her eyes. “I was going to ask you to walk me down the aisle, but I had to do all of it alone”
His eyes shot to hers,
“Pen…I couldn’t watch you marry him” he said, voice catching, “That is why I made it up, that is why I hid away from everyone, that is why I reacted badly to your engagement. I couldn’t have sat there and watched you…you…you…give yourself to him.” He took an unsteady breath.
“You would have cared?” She asked him in shock,
“Pen, every time I thought about it, and it was a lot, I had a lot of time on my hands, I felt like my chest was being ripped in two”
“I still would have had time for you, as I would have with El.”
He let out a shaky laugh,
“I don’t know how your husband would have felt seeing you spend time with the man who is in love with you”
“I am still my own functioning person, he couldn’t have told me who to spend….wait, what did you just say?!” She cried out,
“It doesn’t matter” he sniffed,
“It does. I need to hear you say it, or I am going to think I am crazy. I need to make sure I heard it right”
He swallowed thickly,
“I’m in love with you, Pen” he said softly, “I’m so sorry”
Tears were streaming down her face before she even realised, “Why are you sorry?”
“Because you have enough going on, you don’t need me dumping my issues on you as well. I will never mention it again, but it was the reason for the ghosting, the flat, I’m pretty sure my family knew, and that is why they objected, even why I wasn’t originally coming to the wedding”
“Why did you change your mind?”
“You’re still my best friend. I should have sucked it up and been there for you, not wallowing in my own self-pity”
“Colin” She covered her face with her hands and let out a single sob that turned quickly into a laugh. “Do you know why brides are ‘given away’ at weddings, historically, I mean?”
“No?” He said, confused at the change of subject,
“It was to signify transfer of ownership. That is why the duty fell to older brothers or uncles when the father was deceased. But my dad is dead, I don’t have any uncles or brothers, or an ex-husband, I suppose that would technically fit the criteria too of transfer of old to new, not that that really happened back in the day. But I had you”
“I’m not your keeper, Pen” he said with a small smile,
“No, you are right.” She nodded, “But for as long as I could remember, I’ve been yours, waiting for the day you might realise. That is why I was going to ask you to walk me down the aisle. The only way I could let you go was if you handed me away.”
His eyes flicked between hers, shock pulsing through him.
“Do you mean…” he rasped,
She nodded, “I’m in love with you, too, Colin.” She choked out, “and it has been killing me”
“Pen” he he sighed, pulling her into his chest, his chin on her head as he rocked them gently whispering, “I didn’t know, I didn’t know”
“Neither did I”
“I owe a lot of people a very great deal of thanks for interrupting that wedding” he said, laughing as he wiped his face.
“Maybe my mother the most”
“Portia? What did she say to you before…”
“Before I ran out? She told me to be better than her, to be brave, to not settle. She apologised for pressuring me into the marriage in the first place, and that the fact I could even consider leaving was my answer to whether I should stay.” She smiled, “and there might have been a little bit about making that Bridgerton boy pay whenever he finally caught up”
“I shall send your mother some very expensive flowers”
Penelope shook her head slightly,
“A case of wine?”
“Much better” she smiled, tucking herself further into her side.
The door knocked,
“Are you expecting anyone?” She asked,
“No” he said, shaking his head, going to answer it, “Oh it’s only Eloise”
“Only Eloise…as if I am not your favourite sister” she scoffed, before flinging her arms around Penelope, who had stood to greet her, “Are you alright?”
“I’m ok, promise”
“Good, and THANK fuck you are not currently married to the bird man. Being nice isn’t a good enough reason to get legally bound to him. I stand by what I said this morning”
“Which was?” Colin asked,
“That she deserves to be happy”
A wistful smile appeared on his face, “I don’t say this often, but El’s right”
“See, even Colin thinks so”
She blushed,
“Wait, how did you get this address?” He asked her,
“Anthony gave it to me; he figured you guys would come here, and I wanted to deliver Penelope’s bag”
“Thanks” she said, taking it out of her hands, immediately pulling out her phone. There were lots of messages, most of them just asking if she was ok. But then she saw one in particular.
Alfie Debling
Hi Penelope, I won’t lie, I really hadn’t expected to send a message like this ever, quite frankly. But I think I have to. I am not angry at what happened today. I really want you to know that. I don’t want you to worry (I do know you well enough to know you are definitely worrying).
I think you did the right thing. I mean, it might have been nicer if the decision had come to you yesterday instead, better late than never, I suppose. You were braver than I was. I am sure we would have had a good life together, but I think we both deserve more than good.
I will pack up your stuff and send it on to the address you give me if you are agreeable. I think it would be easiest that way. I hold no resentment, and I am willing to tell anyone who might give you a hard time just that.
Thank you for a wonderful 2 years,
Your Friend,
Alfie
PS. Tell that third Bridgerton to treat you right, otherwise he will hear words from the bird man (yes, I know they call me that and no, I actually don’t hate it.) I know you didn’t know how he felt; maybe he has told you by now. If he has, don’t hold off for my sake; life is short after all.
“Pen?” She heard Colin say,
“Sorry” she sniffed, wiping away the few tears that fell before just handing him the phone.
“What did he say?” Eloise asked,
“That he isn’t mad at me, and that he will pack up my stuff and send it wherever I want”
“Well, you can move back in with me, obviously”
“Or?” Colin said
“Or?” She parroted hopefully,
“You could move in here?”
“You would want me to?” She asked softly, and he nodded, “It’s definitely too soon, but…”
“Life is short?” He finished, and she couldn’t help the grin.
“Why would you want to live with him?” Eloise chuckled,
“You know what, that actually makes me feel better for not knowing if El didn’t know either” Colin laughed,
“Me too”
“Someone want to fill me in?” Eloise said impatiently.
“El, I think you should call Ben or Hy, and they will explain,” Colin said, gently directing her to the door. “Thank you for dropping off Pen’s phone. Now…I don’t mean to be rude, but I need you to go home because I want to kiss my girlfriend for the first time, and I am not doing it in front of my little sister. Love you, bye-bye,” he said, closing the door, cutting off her shouts of surprise.
“Girlfriend, huh?” Penelope asked, stalking her way over to him,
“If that is ok?”
“It is…for now…”
He broke out into a face-splitting grin and crashed his lips into hers….