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The Blue Moon was filled with the sounds of merriment, to which Logan did not contribute. He sat alone in a booth, his hat pulled low. His fingers tapped restlessly against a half-empty glass of yakmel milk. His eyes stayed locked on the Builder, as they had been since she entered the saloon. He watched as she laughed at something Owen said, as she leaned over the bar to steal a sandberry, as she popped it into her mouth.
“Light, look at you,” said a voice, somehow both bright and exasperated.
Heidi slid into the seat across from him.
“You’re so obvious, Logan, doing that brooding yakpoke thing. Did you carve her name into your holster yet or is that the equivalent of second base for you?"
“Shut it, Heidi.”
Heidi was all class and good posture, a stark contrast to Logan, who now sat crumpled over his glass with his head in his hands, thumbs massaging his temples. He and Heidi had known each other since they were tiny, she was like a sister, and no one knew how to get under a person's skin like a sibling.
“When are you going to buy her a heartknot?"
"I don't like her like that-"
"Oh shut up, Logan, yes you do."
There's a pause before she clears her throat and says, almost loud enough for others to hear, "you love her. You love the Builder."
His eyes are angry and wide as they dart wildly between her, the bar, and back.
"Whad'ya think you're doin'?!" he hisses.
Heidi's arms are crossed; her brows are knotted together. The only thing uncreased about her is her suit jacket.
"If you don't make a move, I'll tell her myself-"
"You wouldn't dare-"
Heidi stands and Logan catches her wrist.
"Whad'ya want from me?" he says through gritted teeth.
He looks more panicked and pathetic than Heidi can ever remember seeing him, and she hates that for him. This man, who risked everything for Sandrock and its people, reduced to whatever self-flagellating bullshit this was. She pulls her hand out of his grip easily and sits back down, placing her clasped hands on the sticky wooden table like she's about to make a business deal.
"What's your favourite thing about her?"
"What?"
"I want you to say it out loud, even if it's just t' me."
"Why?" His jaw is clenched so tightly the word comes out like a growl.
"The Logan I know woulda done somethin' already, said somethin' to her. You're not exactly a think before you speak kinda guy. I dunno how you got so stuck in your head about this, but I figure it's not a place you're familiar with and you need some coaxin' t' find yer way out."
“You’re worse than Haru,” Logan grumbles. He's glaring at the table but still, every now and then, his eyes flicker surreptitiously to the bar. “At least his lectures come in letter form. You’re too… here. And loud.”
"And I asked you a question. Ain't polite to keep a girl waitin'."
“I take patrol alone most nights just to avoid conversations like this.”
Heidi stands again.
"Wait-" he begs.
She doesn't sit back down yet, just watches as he folds in on himself, his head fallen against his arms on the table in defeat. He says something, a nothing little sound against the leather of his arm guards, probably cursing her out. After a moment of silence he uncoils, sitting low, slumped in his seat. Heidi raises an eyebrow.
"...She stopped by the house today. Brought Andy n' me food," he mumbles, eyes averted.
Heidi sits slowly, only acknowledging what he's said when he drags his gaze off the table and back up to her.
"That's your favourite thing? That she gave you leftovers?"
"No. It's... she's kind. Thinks 'bout others. I been taking longer jobs lately, so cookin's been difficult."
Heidi considers this for a moment, then, with sudden, renewed pep and a bounce in her step she says, "I can work with that. It'll do for today."
Logan watches Heidi bobbing away towards the second set of saloon doors, behind where he sits.
"Today?" He calls after her, twisting to keep her in view, "Heidi? Heidi what do you mean 'today'?"
-
And so that became their thing.
"What's your favourite thing today?" She'd ask, forgoing the customary hiyas and howdys.
For Heidi it was one part frustrating, like pulling teeth, to one part power trip. For Logan, the eye roll and guttural groan became Pavlovian*. Hearing her voice in the street or seeing her purple curls in the distance caused an immediate gut-drop reaction that he did a lot of patrolling to avoid.
But he did answer. One day it was "her laugh", another day "her hair", and another day "...if I say it's her tits, will you stop askin'?"
At the next fireside, Heidi sidles up next to Logan, ignoring the way his whole body tries to repel away from her while simultaneously stuck in polite, public place.
"What's your favourite thing today?" She whispers.
"Not now, this is important."
Heidi listens for a moment, to Trudy discussing next steps towards the greenification efforts.
"Don't worry, the Builder's all over this plan, she can fill you in if you miss anything," the
sickly sweet way she says it does not mask the provocation.
He gives her a scathing sideways glance. Then his eyes find the Builder on the other side of the square. She was uncharacteristically late, no doubt held up by something important. Meanwhile, he had gotten to the square early that evening, hoping to have found her there, stand next to her, and invite her to dinner afterwards. Just as platonic, non-romantic, don't-want-to-risk-the-friendship friends.
He sighs, then whispers, resigned, "When we run into each other, unplanned-like, she says my name, like, 'LOgan'-"
The unexpected sincerity, the octave he attempts as he mimics the Builder's voice, catches Heidi so off guard that she snorts loudly. Arvio and Burgess, and thankfully no one else, turn to look at her. Her cheeks go hot. She hears Logan chuckle under his
breath and she smacks his arm. He, playfully, smacks hers back. Back and forth, they rapid-fire tiny shoves, like when they were kids trying to continue a fight after being forced to hug and make up.
Hugo turns around and gives them a look which makes them drop it immediately. They wear thin smiles as they mumble "Sorry Daddy" and "Sorry, Uncle Hugo". But the damage is done, or repaired, as it were. They're friends again, reminded that they always were. And more than that, they're family.
-
Late one afternoon, Logan enters Construction Junction, looking up to the balcony area where the kids do their lessons. Andy is already running down the stairs towards him, full-speed prattling about chemistry and gun fights. Heidi has been trying to make her lessons more tailored to his interests, and it's working. Andy is a smart kid, and Logan is sure he'll take after Haru. It's a bitter-sweet thought, he's proud but... There's something else there, too, and he's trying not to think about it.
"Andy, Jas, why don't you take Pebbles out to play for a bit before Logan walks ya'll home?" Heidi says.
The kids pass him on his way up the stairs and are out the door before he and Heidi are sitting down, exchanging words about Andy's progress.
It's not long before she says, "Alrighty, what is it today?" Her smile is cat-like as she rests her chin on her interwoven fingers.
"I miss when we stopped talkin', back when I was doin' the outlaw thing."
"C'mon, what's your favourite thing about the Builder?"
"I don't know who you're talking about."
"The woman you're head over heads for?"
"Sounds nice, hope to meet her someday."
"Logan."
"Why are you so relentless about this?"
"'Cause you're relentlessly avoiding it, and I ain’t never known you to avoid anything."
For a long moment they're both silent, Heidi stares daggers into him while he stares at the ceiling, swivelling in his chair.
"The other day she offered to help with Andy's homework. Not help Andy- I mean, that too, but- help ME with Andy's homework. I was... Frustrated, down on myself that I couldn't help him. Not like you or Haru could. Made me feel like I wasn't fit to be a parent, y'know? She made it make sense and didn't make me feel like some idiot who didn't get that Big City education you and her got."
"Logan, you're plenty smart-"
"I know I am. But not about this stuff," he gestures to the papers and workbooks strewn over the table.
His voice is gravelly and quiet as he continues, "I worried for a bit that one day she'd realise how different our worlds were. Like when you came back from Atara, you acted like you were too good for the rest of us for a while-"
Heidi tries to interject, but Logan cuts her off, "Don't deny it. You still do. You can be real pompous sometimes."
His words are cutting and blunt, but they're not said with intent to hurt, just unfiltered honesty. To Heidi's credit, she doesn't take them personally. Instead, she's oddly comforted by hearing him be forthright and frank again, just like he used to be before he disappeared into the desert.
"Anyway, she's not like that," he says. "She doesn't care about that stuff. She talked about how I don't gotta go it alone with Andy, how she's here to help. By the end we were laughing about something dumb. She makes me feel... Like I ain't bad at this, like I ain't alone. She makes me feel... A lotta things."
"Oh, Logan," Heidi says, with dawning awe, “You're really down bad for her, huh?"
Logan leans over, elbows on his knees, and drags one hand slowly down his face.
"...Yeah," he finally admits.
-
Heidi sits alone at a booth in the Blue Moon. It's quiet in there, too late for lunch and too early for dinner. She cradles a cup of sand tea in both hands. It's lukewarm and untouched, and she stares past it as if she doesn't see it at all. When Logan raps two knuckles on the wooden table she jolts.
"You okay, Heids?"
He's got a larger pack with him, meaning he's about to set out for a few days at the outpost, or even further out, wherever the monsters need huntin'.
When Heidi doesn't reply beyond a non-committal hum, he drops his pack onto the opposite side of the booth then sits down next to her. He puts his arm over the back of the bench and turns his body toward her, as much as the furniture will allow.
"What's on your mind?"
"Oh, Logan." Tears well in her eyes, "Gramma had a fall. Sorry, I- It knocked her around a bit. There was so much blood, I thought she was gonna-" a sob catches in her throat.
"Light, Heidi. She ok?"
"She's with Dr Fang right now. He says she'll be ok, that she'll come home in a few days, it just- It rattled me. She's not gonna be around forever, y'know? And she won't wait for me or Daddy like we tell her to, her fabrics are heavy and she stills keeps them up high..."
Logan listens, lets her sob quietly. His arm moves from around the bench to around her shoulders. He pulls her into his side, their heads leaning against one another.
"I'm sorry, Heidi," he says. "Viv's stubborn and strong, even knowing she'll be ok doesn't mean it ain't hard on us when we're confronted with stuff like that. That sounds awful, what you went through."
All Heidi can do is nod.
"Wanna know my favourite thing from today?" He offers.
Heidi looks at him, perplexed and curious but too exhausted to respond.
"It's that Viv's got plenty more good years left," he said, "and that I get to be here for ya when that doesn't feel like it's enough."
His voice is soft. She doesn't get to see him like this often, but this is the Logan she knows. There's the hot-headed, impulsive, fighter, sure, but there's also the protector. She has flickers of memories from her childhood, of the mutual loss of mothers, of hands held through grief, of shoulders and warm hugs.
She huffs, not quite a laugh. "That wasn't about the Builder."
"Doesn't always gotta be."
She inhales intentionally, wipes stray tears from her cheek, and decides to let him off for today.
"Can I do anything for you? Or for your dad, or Viv?" he asks.
She shakes her head. It's still heavy, but having someone to lean on does make it easier. They talk a bit longer before Heidi abandons her tea, heading to check on Hugo. Logan delays his outpost trip by a few days, just long enough to watch Heidi and Hugo bring Vivi safely home.
-
At noon, Heidi walks into the Blue Moon with the rest of her tea society friends. Pablo and Amirah beeline for a booth, but Heidi spots another that's already being used. Logan’s smile falters when he sees her. Sitting across from him, the Builder looks up and waves. Heidi takes that as an invitation.
"Don't you two look cute on your little lunch date. I see you dressed up for it, Logan," Heidi looks him up and down in one disdainful sweep.
"Any opportunity to wear my finery," he stabs something on his plate a little too violently.
The Builder and Heidi exchange pleasantries, but the Builder says nothing to acknowledge Heidi's "date" comment. Logan briefly wonders if he should be dressing up, if that's something the Builder would like. The dust and grime caked into his usual monster hunting gear makes it difficult to guess its original colouration.
"I won't keep ya any longer," he hears Heidi say, "but Logan-"
A muscle in his jaw twitches. He raises an eyebrow so pointedly at her, glares with so much open hostility, that she almost reconsiders. Almost.
"What's your favourite thing today?"
The Builder looks between them. She's used to wordless communication with Logan on hunts, used to the instinctual way her body reacts to changes in his posture and expression. That's her favourite thing, that they read each other so well they're like a well-oiled machine, two halves of a whole weapon. But right now her instinct is to unsheathe her daggers and get between them, and that can't be right.
"What's this about? What's going on?" the Builder asks.
"Oh, Logan hasn't mentioned it? It's just our little thing we do," Heidi says, cheerfully, "I try to ask at least once a day, what his favourite thing that day is."
"Oh, that's cute?" The Builder doesn’t mean for her response to come out like a question, but it does. "Like a gratitude, mindfulness thing, right?"
"Exactly! Gratitude for all the good things he has in his life, or could have, should he choose to stop pussy footin' around-"
"It WAS spending time with my friend," Logan interjects. "Uninterrupted by nosey architects who have their own friends to sit with."
"What's yours, Heidi? What's your favourite thing?" The Builder asks.
Heidi considers this for a moment, before looking Logan directly in the eyes and very pointedly saying "seeing my friends happy." They say their goodbyes and she saunters off to her own table.
A silence falls over the two of them in the wake of her leaving, before the Builder says, "I don't think you guys are doing that gratitude thing right."
Logan huffs a laugh.
"My favourite thing from today," she says, her cheek resting on her hand, her gaze locking with his, "is getting to spend time with you, interrupted or otherwise."
He makes a mental note to tell Heidi that his favourite thing is this. The way she looks at him, the way her smile is both mischievous and kind, and the way it touches her eyes.
"Y' can't pick that one," he says around his last mouthful of food, "I already picked it, you gotta come up with your own."
She laughs, and they debate the rules around what else she can choose from as they pack up and leave, their day not yet over. She asks if you can have more than one favourite a day. He says no, a favourite's a favourite, singular and to the exclusion of all others. But he already has a list going before the day is out.
-
Logan lazes in his chair, eyes unfocussed on the night sky, rolling an empty bottle between his hands.
"Today it was... I dunno. 'S hard when I ain't seen her for a few days, I end up thinkin' 'bout her too much and can't pick."
It's just him and Heidi, out by the outpost. They'd spent the day working at the Little Woods and decided to spend a few hours celebrating their hard work and relaxing tired muscles with drinks by the bonfire.
"Nope, you gotta choose somethin'. Before I leave for the last bus tonight, you gotta have one definitive favourite," Heidi says.
"...Her laugh."
"Y'already said that one weeks ago."
"What, I can't do a repeat? That was... I didn't get to explain that one back then. Her laugh makes my head all... Happy."
"Still ain't acceptin' it."
"Hard ass," he spits. Then, "...She's so beautiful, Heidi."
"Yeah?"
He's emboldened by alcohol and the knowledge that the Builder is many train stops out of earshot, visiting her hometown.
"Ain't right for someone to look that good covered in sweat n' grime n' sawdust. I bet she gets to wear all her nice clothes in Highwind. She wore this... White sundress a bit ago," he makes a sound at the memory, like an appreciative groan, his head thrown back and eyes shut tight.
Heidi groans in disgust and opens a bottle for herself. When she offers him one he doesn't take it. Even drunk and rambling, he's aware of how long he has to sober up, just enough for when he needs to hop on Rambo to take Heidi to the station.
"But she had to..." he mimes putting a jacket on, "can't wear something like that in Sandrock sun. Bet she's all... Uncovered and... Bare shoulders... in Highwind..."
"Logan, do not trail off thinkin' about your woman uncovered, right in front of my-"
"I ain't," he says, a little too aggressively. And then quietly, "and she ain’t my woman."
A pause.
"Y' miss her?"
"Yeah."
"She'll be back. Four more days."
"...What if she meets someone there while she's all... Pretty in her sundresses."
Heidi lets the thought hang for a bit, watching him. She leans forward slightly. "And how would you feel," she asked softly, deliberately, "if she did?"
He doesn't answer, just stares into the fire.
She sees him swallow and it doesn't go down easy.
"Alright, how 'bout a different question. The way ya feelin' right now, thinkin' 'bout her with someone else, how's that feel compared t' what you're livin' daily, never havin' her at all?"
"Heidi," he says her name like a warning.
"Why are you so afraid of tellin' her how ya feel?"
"'Cause it ain't about not havin' her, I could... I could live with that," even as he says it he knows that part's a lie. "But if she don't feel the same way-"
"The Logan I know would never let somethin' so stupid stop him from going after what he wants-"
"Things're different now, Heidi! I'm different now! What if it changes what we're like around each other? What if she pulls away from me, or from Andy?"
"She wouldn't- Not to Andy-"
"How can I justify riskin' it, Heidi? For what? Because I think I deserve-"
He stops himself, another thing he can't bear to say aloud, even plied with alcohol. His fingers are tight on the bridge of his nose. The fire pops and crackles.
"...I know it ain't all my fault, but I can't shake the feelin' that it was my stupid choices that helped get my Pa killed. It tore me up inside, knowing what ya'll were thinking of me while I was out there, knowing I might never be able to come back or earn ya'lls respect again. But at least that was part of our plan, I felt in control, I had Haru with me. I don't have that right now. I feel like if I gotta risk losin' one more person I care about I'll go insane. Especially her. I can't... Go through that again. I can't fuck everything up again with another selfish decision."
Heidi stills, cold despite the fire.
"Logan, I'm... I didn't- I didn't realise."
"...S'fine," he mumbles.
Rambo approaches his rider, pressing his snout to Logan's hand where it dangles from the arm rest of his chair.
"Choosin' not to do anything is still a choice, Logan. I know you don't wanna hear that right now-"
"You're right, I don't."
"But there's something-"
"Heidi, I'm begging you, please shut up about this."
"Hear me out on one last thing, Logan, and I promise I'll never bring it up again."
He looks at her then, exhausted, worn, firelight casting deep shadows across one side of his face.
"There's a lot of different ways to lose a person, Logan. Even if you never tell her, even if she never falls in love with anyone else, you could still lose her just because you're choosing not t' make a choice. You've got more in your arsenal that'd help you keep her than'd push her away, I don't get why you can't see that."
Logan looks back to the fire, staring long and hard, face devoid of any emotion. Finally, he gets up, grabs a large bucket of soil, and pours it over the flames, putting them out.
"You better make good on that promise, Heids. C'mon, you'll miss your bus."
-
They don't see each other for a few days after that, and that's entirely intentional on both their parts.
It's early afternoon when Heidi steps out of Trudy's office and sees him across the square, at the general store. She debates sneaking away while his back is turned but decides to be brave. The guilt's been eating at her. She’d replayed it a dozen times, thinking I should’ve been kinder and he shouldn't need to fight me, too.
Now she approaches with quiet steps and her hands tucked behind her back.
"Hiya," she says softly.
Logan doesn't look at her right away, but after a long moment he grunts, "...Hey."
A silence settles between them, not quite comfortable but no longer hostile either. She pretends to browse Arvio's wares while she works up the courage to apologise. Then she realises that he's standing at the display of heartknots. Her breath catches but she forces herself to stay quiet. It's not your place she thinks. Besides, no matter what his intentions were, she knows now that if she points it out he'll bolt in the other direction. He pays for his items, whether a heartknot was among them she doesn't know, then she slips into step beside him as they start down Main Street.
"I shouldn't have pushed you like that," she says, "I shoulda been what you needed me to be, not a pain in your ass, pushin' my own agenda. I had no right. I'm sorry."
Logan shrugs a shoulder.
"You ain't wrong about all the stuff ya said," he admits, gruffly.
"Doesn't mean I had a right to say it."
"Well, I'm sorry for being difficult about it. But this don't mean I'm ok with talkin' 'bout it, I expect y'ta keep yer promise still."
He stops mid-step. Under the eve of the Commerce Building, there she is, back from Highwind. The builder. He pivots to face Heidi, turning away from the small group of builders collected around their returning colleague.
"If you wanna go say hi, I'll catch ya later," he says.
His voice is casual, but Heidi feels a chill go through her.
"You don't?"
Logan raises an eyebrow, then smiles, mostly to himself.
"Saw her this morning when her train came in."
Relief washes over her at this. If he'd put more distance between him and the Builder after their drunken outpost chat Heidi wouldn't have forgiven herself easily.
"Speaking of," he reaches a hand into a sheath at his side and produces a dagger,
"This is my favourite thing today."
"Oh!" Heidi lets him place it in her hands. "So, I can still ask about that? That’s not part of the embargo I promised you?"
"Just this once and only cause I wanna show this baby off."
The metal blade is blue-black and smooth, with a matching handguard, and a cream, almost white, wooden handle.
"This is really good wood, Logan!"
"I know!" he says, and there's genuine excitement in his voice, "She said it's Highwind Hickory, the best there is for shock absorption. I kept complaining mine weren't lastin' 'cause I gotta be so rough with 'em. A lotta exoskeletons and tough hides out there. The blade is treated carbon steel, full tang- that means the metal goes right through the handle-"
He continues like that for a bit, saying that the weight was perfect, that she'd engraved it with his name, customised them to his hand size, made a matching set for herself, too.
Heidi can feel herself combusting with the effort of not pointing out how that's gotta be the Hunter-Builder version of a proposal. Instead, she says, deliberately and carefully, "Custom matching daggers is certainly not a thing that's made the list before."
He looks over at the Builder then, his eyes soft, his smile softer. Heidi exhales and tries to appreciate that at least he seems happier right now, even if he deserves more than watching from afar.
"-No. No, it ain't just the daggers. It's not... It ain't one thing," he says. "It's that she's home. That she said she missed me. I dunno what I did to deserve that. Or how she took the time to make me somethin' while she was miles away, doin' more important stuff. That she's
always jugglin' a buncha projects or doin' somethin' for someone else. That she knows me back t' front. That her nose scrunches up all cute when she's schemin' somethin'. It's everything, Heidi. I love everything about her. Every damn thing."
Heidi short-circuits. This is big, and she can't say anything but surely there's something she can do to just nudge him in the right direction, he's almost there for Light's sake-
"It's Logan, right?" Unsuur's voice makes them both jump.
It takes a second for Logan to compose himself. "We've known each other a little too long to need introductions, buddy."
"Ah, so it is you." Unsuur points to his left, "Those tourists just reported they saw you in some cave ruins the other day. Or, someone who looked nothing like you, anyway."
"Unsuur," Logan says, exasperated, "Which one is it? Did they see me or someone who doesn’t look like me?"
"It could be both if there are two Logans. Were you the one scarin' 'em, saying you were a gonna rob 'em? I thought you'd given that life up. It's hard to keep track of which side you're on. Especially now there are two of you. One for each side."
"Yeah, ok, thanks for the intel, buddy," Logan pats Unsuur on the shoulder dismissively as he beelines for the tourists, nodding a quick goodbye to Heidi.
Heidi takes Unsuur by the shoulders a little too forcefully, a little too unhinged. "Unsuur, You know Logan's on our side, right? I need to know that you know that."
"He certainly is ma'am. Specifically, our left side. Or wait- I guess that's your right. Hmm.
He's trickier than I thought."
Unsuur tips his hat, gives an unbothered "stay safe, citizen" and continues down Main Street. Logan's already run off. Heidi takes a moment to collect herself, finds she can't, and stomps toward the Golden Goose to funnel her feelings into something punchable.
-
When Heidi knocks on Logan's door it's Andy that opens it.
Instead of a greeting he yells behind him, "It's Heidi!" and runs back inside. She follows him in.
"Y'hear what happened?" Andy says grinning. He's lost a tooth since she last saw him for lessons.
His smile eases some of her worry. Logan’s injuries can't be too bad if Andy's his usual, cheery, chaotic self. Or maybe Logan's mangled as all hell and Andy thinks that's cool. Hard to tell with this kid.
"Don't tell her nothin', Andy," Logan's voice travels down from the second floor. "This one's my fight, not yours."
As Logan comes downstairs, Heidi can see the bulk of bandages under his shirt, but other than favouring his left shoulder and the occasional wince, he seems OK. Heidi is used to him getting injured on the job but her shoulders don't relax until she sees him grin.
When he gets to the bottom of the stairs, he ruffles Andy's hair and tells him "Go on, git," gesturing to the door with a nod. Andy sings out a "Bye Heidi" as the door slams behind him.
"Y'alright?" she asks. "I heard what happened, Daddy said the Builder had t' drag you all the
way back to town."
"Yeah. Lucky she's strong," he huffs a laugh. "It was an arrow trap. Poison."
Heidi winces.
Logan shrugs, albeit tenderly. "Fang gave me somethin', I'll be fine."
She watches him lean against the wall on his bad shoulder and immediately regret it, spewing expletives.
"You idiot," she laughs, but her eyes are kind. "I just came by to check on ya. You need anything? If you need time to recover and want Andy outta ya hair, we can take him for a bit?"
"Thanks, Heids, but it's ok. I got it covered."
As she pivots back toward the door he says, "Got a new favourite thing to tell ya."
She stops and raises an eyebrow, "thought we weren't doing that no more?"
"This is for real the last time I entertain you on this. And besides, this one's gonna be hard to top."
"Oh?" She idly wonders if Dr Fang gave him something a little too strong for the pain, his grin's been a bit too goofy since she got there.
Logan rubs the back of his neck. His ears turn red. His gaze drops to the floorboards. "I kissed her."
"WHAT?" Heidi shrieks. She grabs him by the shoulders and- "Oh, shoot, sorry!"
He winces, but the smile hasn't left his face. "I told her I liked her."
"LOGAN!"
"We're kinda... Together now."
"Oh my LIGHT! LOGAN!" Heidi's smile is humongous, her prim and proper decorum abandoned as she jumps up and down, giddy and giggling. She smacks his arm- his uninjured one- several times. "I told you, you idiot, I told you!"
They both laugh, and when Heidi stops her assault, he pulls her into his side for a hug.
"I'm so happy for you, Logan," she says, squeezing him gently.
"Even though you had to kick my ass to get me there?"
"I'll kick your ass anytime you need it."
"Thanks, Heids."
"You deserve this, you know that right? You deserve to be happy."
He rubs his cheek, scratching at the extra few days of stubble he wouldn't usually let grow, had he been in better shape.
"I dunno if I do or not, but whatever force fixes them kinda things is gonna have t' pry this outta my cold, dead hands. She's something special. I'ma do everything I can to be deservin' of her."
Heidi stands back, appraising him. The way he still doesn't think he's good enough but is holding on anyway. The way he's choosing, even if he's still scared. This man, who does impossible things, all in the name of protecting what he loves.
"I can work with that," she says.
-
It's something of a Sandrock tradition for the wedding to happen pretty quickly after a couple gets together. So, when it doesn't happen in the timeframe the townsfolk anticipate, there's a great deal of gossip and preoccupation.
Mable assuages Cooper with "well, maybe that's how they do it in Highwind." Trudy suggests to Jas that "maybe she's waiting for the greenification project to wrap up- or for Nia to settle in- or Grace-" and then eventually runs out of goalposts either thinks is reasonable. But Heidi knows it's got nothing to do with the Builder.
Of course, the I love yous happen in a more acceptable timeframe. Just as Heidi suspected, once Logan started saying things out loud, it became a torrent he couldn't stop, even if he wanted to. But otherwise, Logan's not rushing anything, savouring every part of his relationship like he's scared he'll miss something. Initially, it's because he is. His doubts burying him in place, like trying to move through quicksand. But as time goes on, as fear falls away and trust settles in, it becomes intentional.
Heidi watches as he makes good on what he said, about doing everything he can to be deserving of the Builder. And he even starts to believe he is. The Builder helps with that, obviously. And Heidi, because she promised to kick his ass when he needed it. He makes deliberate choices to hold his ground when he wants to run and uses his words when he wants to use his fists. She watches him start to open back up, the way he was before he and Haru absconded into the Eufaula. Less impulsive, maybe, but believing more that he fits into the place he left. He replaces recklessness with bravery - not totally, and not because he wasn't always brave - but because risking his life isn't a coping mechanism that serves him anymore.
Heidi does wonder, every now and then, if he needs another nudge, especially when Vivi keeps moving the rolls of bridal silks and laces around the shop. Ultimately, she decides its no one's business. Not when he's finally happy. And when the wedding does happen, Heidi watches him tell the Builder, in front of all of Sandrock, his favourite things about her. And she, hers.
Even late into the evening, the sounds of merriment are still ongoing. When the couple leave, alone, the first place they go isn't her workshop or his old house, it's to the cemetery. It's not the first time she's accompanied him to Howlett's grave, but he wants his Pa to see his beautiful wife in her wedding dress, and him in his own finery, borrowed from Howlett's own closet. He's wondered before if his Pa would be proud of him, and it's hard to believe he wouldn't be when Logan is beaming with it, himself. Proud of his family, proud of his guild, proud of what he's changed and clawed his way back to, after losing so much.
Not for the first time, he thinks about how his Pa would love the Builder. How she's so bold about the things she's good at. That she's scrappy in a fight, but deceptively tactical. And that she makes him so happy he feels he might burst.
On the walk back to their home, he whispers against her ear some of his other favourite things, the ones he couldn’t put in his vows. She whispers back in kind and some new favourites jump to the top of his list. Tomorrow, there'll be even more.