Work Text:
“Very well, mortal! I, the great Power, will shepard you through this trial!”
“Uhh... I just asked if you could come with me to the store --”
“TRULY A DESPAIRING AND NEFARIOUS LOCALE, TOO DANGEROUS FOR ONE SUCH AS YOU TO ATTEMPT TO TRAVERSE IN SOLITUDE! I GRACIOUSLY AND SOLEMNLY ACCEPT THIS DUTY!”
###
“Power, I need you to stop yelling at the top of your lungs in this Target. The other shoppers are giving me looks.”
“Fear not! I, Power, shall protect you from any vile witch or fearsome warrior that dares to attack you!”
“Power, there's an employee coming over here now.”
“Truly!? Do they wish to harm you, even despite knowing that my protection has been bestowed upon you? They are braver than they look... I must applaud their courage, if nothing else!”
“Ma’am, if you could refrain from shouting, you're disturbing the other customers --”
“Nonsense! I was not shouting! It was this ostentatious fellow! You must be mistaken!”
“Uhh... Yeah anyway just keep it down, both of you.”
“See what you have done? Your lack of discipline has created an unnecessary conflict!”
“Huh?? You're the one who yelled! Who's been yelling!”
“Lies! Slander! Meaningless words from the tongue of one who has never known truth!”
“Did you find everything alright today?”
“I don't know, do you sell the ability to shut up?”
A few moments go by as I realize what I said to the hapless cashier.
“Truly! It would be marvelous if you did, for this one requires muzzling, else he is liable to cause hearing loss for those around him!”
“Uhh... I think we have duct tape somewhere?”
“Just let me pay and get out of here
please. And put me out of my misery.”