Chapter Text
He's slower.
He isn't bouncing from patient to patient, isn't tapping his hand against his legs every five seconds, and isn't on the verge of a run.
He knows what he's doing-- of course he does. It's like muscle memory, but he isn't methodical in the precision way that Mohan or Whitaker are when they look at charts. No, he's methodical in a cautious way, in a way that asks for perfection. When he's concentrating, he crinkles his eyebrows, not necessarily in a stern way, but there's a mix of calm anxiety in there, too.
When there's a crisis, when someone's life is on the line, that's when he looks most confident, especially if Dr. Robby isn't in the room. He's focused, rigorous, sharp. Sharp in a way that he wasn't before, maybe because his mind is clearer, less wired, less foggy.
Mel noticed all of this during Dr. Langdon's first week back at The Pitt. She couldn't help herself. Maybe she was a little hyper-fixated. Maybe she just wanted to get to know him more, because he was the first person who was really kind to her on her first day here.
But it doesn't really matter what she noticed, because she noticed most of the mannerisms that her colleagues have when they work. Like, for example, how Santos always huffs when she looks at the board searching for a new patient, exhausted yet stubborn at the same time. Or how carefully Mohan treats her patients, how she really gets to know them, and when she does, there's always a small smile on her face as she shifts to her next patient, doing the same thing all over again. Or how McKay always has a calm tone about her with her patients, always unwavering, even if she's tired or stressed.
So, logically, noticing things about Dr. Langdon was normal. It was just new, and it was--
Well... it was a lot.
It was just a lot.
But new things were always a lot in the beginning.
They caught each other's eyes sometimes. Either it was during some sort of emergency-- quick glances of reassurance or small glimpses of knowing-- or it was during the calmer hours of their time together when they worked cases. Mel would be looking, noticing, and Dr. Langdon would catch her eye and quickly, politely, smile, or the opposite would happen. In the last ten months, she had mastered the polite smile.
Catching each other's stare wasn't entirely awkward. It was a little timid. A little uncertain.
That made sense to Mel. It had only been a week since Dr. Langdon was back. He was still finding his footing with all his co-workers. Maybe he didn't know where they stood. But Mel knew where they stood.
Mel respected Dr. Langdon. She always had. Even when Dr. Langdon was gone, Mel had respected him enough not to be persuaded by the rumors, and when he had confessed his addiction to her, she had respected him enough to forgive. How could she not? She had barely known him, but the interactions between them had always been kind. They had always been clean, caring.
So she respected him. Sure, she had limited knowledge to go off of, but Mel was always good at pattern recognition. Based on the information she had observed and the actions he had taken so far, like getting help with his substance use, apologizing to his coworkers and patients, he didn't seem like a bad person. Sometimes, especially as a doctor working in the ER room, she had to also trust her gut, along with her logic. Ultimately, he seemed like a complicated man who needed reassurance from his colleagues that he was doing something right. And she was trying to do just that. Especially when they made eye contact with each other.
Sometimes, though, even after the polite and reassuring smiles, she could feel Dr. Langdon's eyes lingering.
Again, she was good at noticing things.
Though that didn't necessarily mean she understood the 'why' of it all.
--
There weren't many breaks in The Pitt, but when there was a lull, Mel would either be at the stairs or in the break room. This time, she was in the break room, eyes closed, braid against the wall. She breathed in. One, two, three, four, five. Breathe out.
The door could be heard, and her eyes opened, and in came Dr. Langdon.
They stared at each other.
Mel gave a smile and a nod, and Dr. Langdon went to the fridge to grab a water bottle.
"Mind if I sit?" he asked, already taking a seat as Mel nodded, knowing she probably wouldn't mind. He sighed, feeling the weight of the day. They both understood the fundamental feeling of tiredness in their bodies. The feeling could only be understood by the doctors serving The Pitt.
The silence between them didn't feel weighted. It felt comfortable.
"You're doing a really good job today," Mel noted, placing her hands on the table, stretching them out.
"You don't have to do that, you know," Dr. Langdon said, grimacing, eyes looking away.
"Do what, exactly?" She asked softly, already confused, eyebrows furrowing.
"Reassure me all the time. I'm not as insecure as I was at the beginning of the week. I'm more confident in my position here. You've helped a lot, of course. Thank you for that. But I'm starting to feel like some sort of...I don't know, you just don't have to compliment me if you don't want to. Isn't it tiring for you?"
Mel stared at him. His face is a little apprehensive, and he almost looks embarrassed despite his calm demeanor. Her eyes were wide.
"No- that's not- I would never," she huffed, gathering herself, "I know compliments are helpful...But I would never say them to you if I didn't think you deserved it."
Dr. Langdon gave her a look, as if he didn't believe her.
"I'm a terrible liar," Mel defended herself, "you are a competent doctor."
"Just a competent one, huh?" Dr. Langdon took a swig of his water bottle, smirking.
"You're teasing," Mel said, after a beat.
"Yes," Dr. Langdon laughed, putting the water bottle down, stretching his arms against the table.
She could see this becoming another little inside joke of theirs.
"Well," Mel paused, "I'm going to keep complimenting you if you deserve it. And I'd expect no less from you either when you compliment me."
"Oh, it doesn't take much for me to complete you," Dr. Lagndon said, "you're always a good doctor."
Mel began to smile, a soft laugh escaping her lips. She was unsure of how to respond to that.
Dr. Langdon moved his hand closer to Mel's, hesitating slightly. It was almost as if he didn't know how to proceed either.
"What is it?"
"I just," Dr. Langdon took a small breath in, "Thank you for everything you've done for me over the past week. Your genuineness and kindness are a rarity."
Mel doesn't know what to say to that either. But she looked at him, and he looked at her, and there was mutual recognition between them. Mel began to move her hand closer to his, to squeeze it, but the door to the break room opened, and Dr. Langdon's hand moved away as his name was called. Even though they never even touched, she can feel the chill of the break room acutely against her skin.
Dr. Langdon's lips, which were once in a smile, now turned into a tight line as he lifted himself off his chair. For a second, Mel almost thought he hesitated to leave.
She takes a second herself to get up, going back to work.
Dr. Langdon gave her a little nod as he was pulling on gloves at the very opposite end of the hall.
It's only then that Mel realized that maybe, just maybe, he had noticed her just as much as she had noticed him.
End of chapter 1