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English
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Published:
2016-10-16
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872
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1/1
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Feels Like the First Time

Summary:

"She lay on her back staring at the ceiling, desperately trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened.

She’d just had sex. With a woman. With Bernie."

Notes:

So as much as I love "their first time together was beautiful and nothing hurt" fics, we've all seen how awkward these two are just walking around and trying to talk to each other, and I have a hard time believing their first time would be any different. So here's my take on the moments after the First Time.

Work Text:

Serena supposed she was a proper lesbian now.

She wasn’t entirely sure where the official delineation was, but she had certainly crossed it now. She hadn’t so much toed the line as she had pole-vaulted over it; in the span of a few short months she had found herself hurtling through unfamiliar territory, and it seemed like she had finally collided with her final destination.

She lay on her back staring at the ceiling, desperately trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened.

She’d just had sex. With a woman. With Bernie.

 

It had been...awkward. While she had spent the better part of Bernie’s secondment imagining this very occasion, she had never accounted for so much fumbling. She had been positively terrified when they had first fallen into her bed, despite the two glasses of Shiraz she’d had beforehand for liquid courage. The logistics of being with a woman were different from those of being with a man, and she hadn't been sure if what she was doing was quite right. Her mind had been a constant stream of questions -- Where should I put my hands? Am I going too fast? Was that too hard? -- and it had been hard to calm herself down enough to enjoy it.

Bernie though. Bernie had been incredible. She had gone slowly, making sure to check in with Serena the entire time.

“Is this okay?”

“How does that feel?”

“Tell me what you want, my love.”

Though her experience was extremely limited, Bernie had made up for any of her own awkwardness with pure tenderness. She had positively worshipped Serena’s body, touching and kissing what felt like every inch of her skin. She had traced her fingers along the tiger stripe stretch marks on her thighs, kissed her faded Cesarean scar with what could only be described as reverence. Serena couldn’t remember ever feeling so cherished in her entire life.

 

Bernie lay on her back beside her, trying to catch her breath. Out of her peripheral vision Serena could see her breasts heaving up and down slightly. She now knew that those breasts were extremely sensitive, much more so than her own. That had been quite an exciting surprise, and Serena made a mental note to explore that more at a later date.

After taking a steadying breath she turned on her side to face the blonde, and a moment later Bernie mirrored her action.

“Hello you,” Bernie said with a small smile.

Serena couldn’t help but return her smile. “Hello.”

Bernie reached out a tentative hand and began gently stroking Serena’s side. “So erm,” she said, dropping her eyes. “How was it?”

In the soft moonlight of the bedroom Serena could see that Bernie looked bashful, almost nervous.

“It was different,” she replied honestly.

Bernie glanced back up at her. “Good different?”

Serena smiled again. “Yes, good different.”

They lay in silence for several moments as Bernie continued to caress Serena’s side.

Serena reached out shyly and traced Bernie’s collarbone with her index finger. She took a slight breath and stuttered out an approximation of the burning question on her mind.

“Was I...I mean, I’m obviously new to this, but ah, did you--?”

“You were wonderful,” Bernie answered, catching Serena’s hand in hers and bringing it up to her lips. “You sure there wasn’t actually a girl in Stepney?” she asked with a teasing smirk.

Serena snorted and turned to bury her face in the pillow. “God, I had almost forgotten about that. I’ve been such an idiot about this whole thing.”

“I think we both have,” Bernie replied. “But at least we’re united in our idiocy, eh?”

She dropped a small kiss on Serena’s shoulder, then pulled a face.

“What is it?” Serena asked.

Bernie pursed her lips and furrowed her brow. Serena could see her tongue moving around the inside of her cheek.

“I think…” Bernie trailed off as she reached her thumb and index finger inside her mouth and pinched around one of her teeth. She pulled what looked like a small, dark thread from between her teeth. She studied it for a moment, then began to chuckle.

“What is that?” Serena asked, propping herself up on her elbow. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s--darling, I believe I had one of your pubic hairs stuck in my teeth!” She began to laugh in earnest now, shoulders shaking with the effort.

Serena’s cheeks flamed. “Oh my God!” she exclaimed, burying her face in her pillow again. “Oh my God,” she muttered again, voice almost completely muffled by goose down.

Bernie laughed for a few more moments, then let out a small sigh. “Sorry, sorry. I don’t know why I found that so funny. Come here,” she said, wrapping an arm around Serena’s waist and tugging gently.

Serena allowed herself to be led, moving into Bernie’s embrace and tucking her face in the crook of her neck.

“Tell me we’re going to get better at this,” she muttered.

“We’re going to get better at this,” Bernie said, kissing the top of her head softly. “Practice makes perfect, right? Maybe we can ah, practice again in the morning.”

Serena tightened her embrace and smiled against Bernie’s skin. “I think I’d like that.”