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Heeseung is leaving Enhypen. It’s what’s best for the team, the company, for him. Or whatever, that’s what they’re being told. The meeting was random, something unexpected. The manager explains what’s happening, things are changing moving forward, Heeseung is leaving and going solo. Jake had stopped listening after those first few words. Heeseung is leaving. Becoming a solo artist. All Jake could hear was that Heeseung was leaving him. Leaving their family.
The worst part of the news is that this is all happening now. Right now. Which means Heeseung isn’t even able to go to Australia with them. It’s Jake’s first time back home in years, he’s been anticipating this festival for so long, with all of his members, especially Heeseung, and it just got ruined. How can he look forward to his trip with this news? His head is spinning, a pounding starting behind his eyes.
Heeseung sits in front of them, like he’s already completely separated from them, with someone from management’s hand on his shoulder. Jake’s definitely seen him before he's never cared to remember his name. Maybe he should have, to remember who announced this but it doesn’t matter now. The grip looks tight on Heeseung’s shoulder. It looks controlling. Maybe he’s trying to be comforting. That’s not what Jake sees.
The meeting wraps up quickly after that. Heeseung’s flight to Australia is canceled, blah blah blah. The rest of the members are quiet, just taking the news in. With nothing else to say, the room is packed up and they’re shuffled to their two vans. Like usual. But not.
Heeseung takes the passenger seat of one of the vans, choosing to sit quietly next to the manager and still not meet the eyes of the others. Jake and Niki climb in after but once Jake has his seatbelt clicked into place, Niki is leaning his head into Jake’s neck and sniffling there quietly. Jake silently wraps an arm around Niki’s shoulders and lets him cry into his shoulder for the rest of the way. He feels like crying too but no tears come.
Once they get back to the dorms, everything is still quiet. It’s too quiet. Heeseung shuffles off to his room without a word and the soft click of the door behind him says enough. The rest of the members do the same, keeping quiet and dispersing to their respective areas. Taking the time to think, to breathe, or even cry. Jake should probably do the same but it feels like his feet don't know how to move right. Jake feels stuck in the doorway. He gives Niki’s hand one last reassuring squeeze before letting him shuffle off, probably to Sunnoo’s room. Like he was 14 all over again. The sight makes Jake’s heart ache. He kinda feels like that age again, just lost and confused.
Jake feels a hand on his shoulder, snapping jim out of his daze of just staring into their living space, and turns to see Jungwon. He gives Jake a sympathetic look and sighs.
“I’ll talk to him. We need to talk. He can’t just…,” Jungwon doesn’t finish.
“No. Let him be. We have Australia to figure out first,” Jake says bitterly. He doesn’t want to be angry but he can't help it. Nothing else feels right.
“Jake…” Jungwon says gently. It just pisses him off. He knows Jungwon is trying to do the right thing, be the leader he is, but Jake doesn't care. He’s confused and frustrated and doesn’t know what to think.
“I think…I think I just need a minute. I’m sorry, Jungwon. I’m going to bed early,” Jake says. He reaches forward to gently squeeze Jungwon’s hand, showing he’s listening and still loves him, and then turns down the hall to his own room.
Jake shuts the door softly behind him, not wanting to take his frustration out on his room, and throws himself onto his bed. The sheets are soft and comforting and Jake can’t help but nuzzle in closer. He’s still only lying on the covers, still in his easy outfit of jeans and hoodie he threw on earlier today. A no thought type of outfit for their unexpected meeting.
Jake sighs when he feels the tears start to prick behind his eyes. It’s so stupid. He feels so stupid. Tears are easily falling now, soaking into his pillows and sleeves as Jake reaches to wipe his face.
The news was just so sudden. Heeseung just spoiled their upcoming tour and hinted at another album. And now he was leaving. There was no hint, no talk, nothing. Did Heeseung even know? Did he even want this at all? Another sob rips out of Jake’s chest as his cries only get worse and louder. He shoves his face further into his pillow when he hears a knock at the door.
Jake groans at the sound interrupting his self pity and cry session. If it’s Jungwon trying to talk to him again, he really just needs a few hours. That’s all he asks. He’ll be ready to face the others, even Heeseung in the morning. But right now he just wants to sit in his feelings. And cry. And then sleep that all off. Pretending this never happened. He hears the door crack open.
“Jake?” And, oh.
It’s Heeseung. He’s probably the last person Jake wants to see right now. Jake just shoves his head deeper into his pillows, hoping Heeseung gets the message.
“Jake? Come on, now,” Heeseung says quietly. Jake can hear the door being shut and Heeseung coming further into his room. Usually, he would sit down on Jake’s bed, probably crawl into it with him, but Jake doesn’t feel that. Good. He shouldn’t. “Jake, please.”
Jake huffs into his sheets, can't bear to sit up and face Heeseung right now. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
“It’s hard to hear you when your head is shoved into your bed.”
Jake sits up in a fast motion, facing Heeseung and throws his arms out in frustration. The tears haven’t stopped and they’re only falling steadily again. Jake can feel snot running down his lip as he tries to speak. “I said I don’t want to talk to you right now! What about that do you not understand?” he yells. Maybe it’s a little too loud and a little too mean. He’s sure Heeseung’s feeling a lot right now, just like Jake, but it feels good to yell at him a little. Finally get some of his feelings out from earlier.
“Jaeyun, I–” Heeseung tries. It’s the first time since earlier, since before the meeting, Jake is finally getting a good look at Heeseung. His eyes are red rimmed, mirroring Jake’s own, and he wears a pitiful look on his face.
“Heeseung, please. Clearly you didn't want to talk about this a few days ago so why would we talk now?” Jake asks, just saying things now and throwing his hands out again.
Heeseung continues to give him a sad look and sighs. He doesn't return Jake’s tone and is soft when he speaks. “I just wanted to see you. I don’t know how to make it better. I don’t even know what to say.”
Jake looks at him. Really looks at him. He wants to push him. Or hit him. Or yell at him. Or so many other things that it’s starting to hurt his head. Jake probably does the stupidest thing he could have ever decided on.
“Then don’t say anything at all,” Jake says before leaning forward and grabbing a hold of Heeseung's shirt to pull him forward and slam his lips against Jake’s.
When their lips meet, it’s not sweet. It’s harsh and mostly teeth crashing into teeth with how sudden and shaky Jake’s grab was. Heeseung’s lips are chapped, they usually are, but he catches up quickly and is adjusting how Jake pulled them together. His lips are following Jake’s lead, taking whatever he’ll give him, not trying to slow their kiss down in any way. Jake continues tugging Heeseung closer into his space, dragging him into his bed, and pulling Heeseung in between his legs. Jake leans back, laying down, and brings Heeseung with him. He moves his hands from the front of Heeseung’s shirt, dragging his hands along his chest, to rest them along the back of his neck. Heeseung keeps a hand on Jake’s cheek while the other thumbs at his waist.
Heeseung is crying again. Jake can feel his tears mixing with his own, tasting their mixed salty tears as he continues to kiss Heeseung harder. Heeseung is the first to use his tongue, tracing it along the bottom of Jake’s lips. Jake opens easily for him, like he always does, opening his mouth wider and letting Heeseung lick deep into Jake’s mouth, tracing his tongue and the back of his teeth. Spit and tears drip between them now and it’s a little gross but it’s also perfect and so much more.
Jake is fully leaned back now, his head resting softly on his pillows while Heeseung is above him. He doesn’t stop kissing Jake, adjusting both of his hands, one holding Jake's neck gently and supporting his own weight, the other rubbing Jake’s waist, fingers dipping up into his hoodie that’s slightly ridden up. He slots a thigh between Jake’s legs, causing Jake to let out a quiet moan. He’s already filling out, feeling his dick getting harder at the pressure. It feels good, like Heeseung knows the exact and best ways to cause Jake pleasure. Jake moans again as Heeseung keeps pressing up between his legs, the pressure already being so achingly good and yet already too much all at the same time. Jake starts to grind the best he can down onto Heeseung’s leg, chasing the feeling and reaching up to grab Heeseung by his short hairs at the nape of neck so Jake can pull him away and breathe.
Like he always does, Heeseung understands what Jake needs. He stops kissing Jake only to quickly reach back and tug off his own shirt before pushing his hoodie up, just enough to reach his chest, and start leaving lingering kisses along his chest and stomach. They’re hot and wet against Jake’s skin, cool to the air around them as Heeseung moves from one spot to the next. Closer to Jake’s hip and where his pants sit, Heeseung lingers and sucks a little harder on that spot, leaving a dark mark, darker than usual, like he’s trying to claim Jake. Maybe he is.
“Heeseung, please,” Jake whines. His jeans are tight against his dick and are rubbing uncomfortably now. His hoodie’s too hot and if he doesn’t have Heeseung fucking him now, Jake’s only gonna cry himself into a panic attack. Heeseung needs to get a move on, this isn’t the time for sweet love.
“I just want to show how I feel. I don’t know if I’ll get another–” Heeseung whispers, looking up from where he was just kissing along Jake’s stomach. Jake’s stomach rolls with arousal at the sight.
“Don’t. Please don’t say it. Not yet,” Jake says, cutting him off. Heeseung only nods, leaning forward to kiss Jake slowly and softly, just lips moving against lips once more, before leaning back to help Jake sit up and start to undress. Jake’s hoodie is taken off first and when he reaches for the button of his jeans, Heeseung moves his hands away and undoes it instead.
“Let me, please,” Heeseung says, not dropping his eyes from Jake’s. Jake takes another moment to look at Heeseung and nods. He lets Heeseung undress him carefully, pulling his jeans down and kissing along Jake’s legs as they go, taking his boxers down with them. His touches are soft and careful, like he might lose Jake after tonight. And he really might.
Heeseung is less careful with his own, simply stripping his own pants down with his boxers all together in one go. After that, Heeseung is quick to go to Jake’s bedside table and grab the lube and a condom. Jake scoots back further on the bed, making himself comfortable as he watches Heeseung climb back onto his mattress, materials in hand. Jake’s eyes never leave Heeseung’s and he opens his legs, letting Heeseung crawl between them. Heeseung sets the bottle of lube and condom next to Jake and smooths his hands up and down Jake’s legs. He traces from Jake’s knees up to his waist and when he gets closer to where Jake needs him, Jake can't help his involuntary shiver. Heeseung knows not to tease him, not this time, and grabs ahold of Jake’s dick, pumping it in his hand. Heeseung leans forward slightly, letting a glob of spit drop onto the tip of Jake’s dick, adding to the glide of Heeseung’s hand, up and down. His movements are a little faster now, hand sliding against Jake’s skin. Jake’s eyes start to roll back and he groans at the feeling, arousal bubbling in his stomach already.
Heeseung never looks away from Jake’s face, thumbing at the tip of Jake’s dick before moving down again. “You’re just so beautiful. How did I get so lucky?” Heeseung whispers, leaning down to nose along Jake’s left knee and leaving a wet kiss.
“Heeseung, don’t tease,” Jake whines. He spreads his legs wider and starts to thrust shortly into Heeseung’s hand. Heeseung turns to Jake’s other leg and leaves another wet kiss on the side of his other knee. Jake can feel the smirk against his skin and he fights the urge to kick him.
“Whatever my Jaeyunie wants,” Heeseung says with a smile. He lets go of Jake’s dick, causing him to whine again, and reaches for the lube. Jake reajusts, scooching closer to Heeseung so he’s laying down again, giving Heeseung more space to reach where Jake truly wants. Jake watches as Heeseung uncaps the lube, pouring it into his fingers, and rubs them softly between them to warm it. Heeseung leans forward, catching Jake’s lips in a hungry kiss, and feels Heeseung’s reach under his legs to circle his entrance.
“Breathe,” Heeseung says against his lips before pushing a finger in. It rips a loud moan from Jake’s throat, the barely there pressure already been so good and too much. Heeseung gives him a minute to adjust to the intrusion before he’s shallowly thrusting his finger in and out. The slide is smooth and easy, the lube doing most of the work and helping Jake adjust. Heeseung doesn't stop kissing him, keeping Jake distracted, and slowly pushes in a second finger.
More tears pour from Jake’s eyes, the feeling of Heeseung curling his fingers up and in, of his soft kisses now traveling down Jake’s neck to his naked chest. His fingers are fast, finding his prostate easily, but his kisses are wet and soft, an occasional flick of the tongue laving over his salty skin. It feels more than just them getting off together, but they can’t say it. Jake just groans and continues to grind down into Heeseung’s fingers, urging him to go faster and harder.
“Heeseung, just get on with it. Please,” Jake says. Jake finds his hands back in Heeseung’s hair and Jake uses this moment to tighten his grip on Heeseung’s short hairs, tugging his mouth away from the assault he’s leaving on Jake’s chest to look in his eyes. They’ve both stopped crying for a while now but when Jake finally takes the chance to look at Heeseung and take in his appearance, it makes him sad. They have the same look of red rimmed eyes, wet around the edges. Heeseung still has that sad look on his face, like it's the last look he’ll ever give Jake when they’re together.
“Of course, whatever you want,” Heeseung whispers. He leans down, leaving a soft peck on Jake’s lips before he’s slowly pulling his fingers out and then reaching for a condom. Jake grabs his hand as he reaches for it.
“Maybe not. Just for tonight,” Jake whispers back. Heeseung meets his eyes again and really looks at him. He gives him a soft nod and then reaches for the lube, slicking up his own dick, and readjusting their position.
Jake lays back down, wanting to look at Heeseung for this. It’s a little sad, but Jake’s desires go unsaid. Heeseung already knows.
Heeseung hovers over Jake carefully, grabbing his legs and wrapping them around his own waist, letting his dick kiss Jake’s entrance. When he pushes in, Jake involuntarily lets out a groan and throws his head back. He squeezes his eyes shut at the intense feeling of pressure, hot tears starting to fall yet again. Heeseung is slow, letting Jake breathe through the feelings and take it inch by inch. Jake’s hands are no longer gripping Heeseung’s hair but scratching his shoulder blades, nails digging into his skin, like he’s scared to let go. Maybe he is.
Once Heeseung bottoms out, they just breathe each other in, Heeseung giving Jake a minute to adjust and both get used to the feeling. Heeseung’s breath is hot on Jake’s face, filling the quiet room with his panting. Jake keeps his eyes closed, just dragging his hands up and down Heeseung’s back in a comforting way as they both adjust.
Jake quickly decides he’s adjusted enough and needs Heeseung to start moving. He starts to move his hips, trying to grind and give Heeseung a hint at what he wants. Heeseung understands easily and starts to pull back little by little and then thrusts in. Tears prick at Jake’s eyes once again, the feeling of Heeseung thrusting his hips slowly into Jake feeling overwhelming. He feels like his body’s on fire, nerves set ablaze by all of Heeseung’s kisses and touches, and they’ve only just started. It seems like it’s Heeseung goal to drive Jake insane today, keeping his thrusts slowly and deep, slowly drawing out and only leaving the tip in, before thrusting back in fully and nailing Jake’s prostate. The feeling of Heeseung’s dick makes Jake’s stomach roll in the best way but he’s taking this too slow. It feels too close to love, something unnamed between them, and Jake can’t take it anymore.
“Faster. Heeseung, please,” Jake says, digging his nails into Heeseung’s back to get his point across.
“I want to take my time with you,” Heeseung whispers, tucking his chin into Jake’s neck.
Of course that’s what Heeseung wants. Jake wants it too but it doesn’t feel right tonight. He needs it fast and hard. Whatever is happening with Heeseung is already too immense for Jake and Jake just wants Heeseung to ruin him. He can’t take it slow and soft tonight.
Jake shakes his head and whines in response. “Come on, Heeseung. Please.”
He feels Heeseung tuck his head into Jake’s neck and leave a soft kiss before picking up his pace. The way Heeseung is fucking in and out of Jake leaves no room for complaint now. The slapping of their skin is obscene as Heeseung speeds up his thrusts but it’s making the coil in Jake’s tummy tighten yet again. It’s the best thing he’s ever felt, the way Heeseung is fucking him. He’s no longer gentle and breathes heavily against Jake’s neck, an occasional wet kiss left here or there.
It doesn’t take long for Heeseung’s thrusts to grow slower and sloppier as he keeps moving. Jake’s moans into the air are loud and pitiful, signaling he’s also close. They both won’t last much longer.
“In me, please,” Jake says. He feels Heeseung’s hips stutter against his own but before Jake can whine, Heeseung is taking his lips into his own and kissing him. It’s messy, mostly just spit being passed between teeth and lips, but it feels so good.
When Heeseung comes, he does with a groan against Jake’s lips, taking his time to press full into Jake. He reaches between them and takes Jake's dick in his hand, pumping it fast and causing Jake to come as well. The heat in Jake’s belly is now replaced by Heeseung’s come and Jake can barely feel the kisses Heeseung is leaving around his face. Heeseung is holding him, holding him so close, and nuzzling against cheek, spreading his slowly falling tears. Jake sighs and peaks open his eyes to see Heeseung already looking at him. Jake pouts his lips and Heeseung leans forward immediately, giving Jake what he wants, and kisses him. It’s slow, just Heeseung’s lips moving against Jake’s, and it’s nice. The feeling doesn’t last for very long when Jake feels Heeseung starts to soften, still in him, and come start to leak out under him. He pushes at Heeseung’s shoulder, urging him to move.
As Heeseung pulls out, he lets out a shaky breath into Jake’s neck. He rises, away from Jake, probably just to get him a towel, but it still makes Jake’s heart ache. He should get used to this feeling, shouldn’t he?
It doesn’t take very long for Heeseung to return, gently turning Jake’s body over to wipe him down. His movements are slow and soft, just like before and how he always is. He cleans Jake up and does the same to himself before he’s patting Jake’s ass to get him to scoot over. Jake whines but does what Heeseung wants and scoots so Heeseung can pull the top layer off of Jake’s bed. It takes some shuffling but they make it work. Jake stays to his side, letting Heeseung manhandle him under the next layer of blankets before Heeseung is crawling under to press himself against Jake’s back. His skin is smooth and warm, crowding in on Jake’s space. Heeseung hands smooth up his waist and reach around to settle against Jake’s stomach and tug him closer. They’re a little sticky and should probably shower soon, Heeseung’s quick wipe down only doing so much, but Jake can’t find it in himself to push Heeseung away and try to get up. Heeseung’s breaths against the back of his neck make him shiver and the careful weight of his arms around his body feel nice. Jake can feel his eyes beginning to droop shut, tired from crying and Heeseung fucking him.
Heeseung breaks the silence. “I’m sorry,” he says and places a kiss against Jake’s neck. His lips linger there, pressing into his skin.
“Let’s just sleep for now,” Jake says, finding Heeseung’s hand along his stomach and intertwining their fingers. This is good for now. This is all Jake needs.