Chapter Text
If you’d told Iruka three months ago that he’d be in this position, he would’ve told you that it’s a silly hypothetical, because Sharingan no Kakashi wouldn’t get captured.
If you’d told him a month ago, after he’d stamped Approved on the mission report by Asuma detailing how they could find no trace of Kakashi, he would’ve said Kakashi is either coming back victorious, or not at all.
If you’d told him a week ago, after Tsunade asked for volunteers to join the gate team as they’re expecting Kakashi, escaped from capture, back in an altered state, he would’ve told you he won’t be one of the volunteers, he has work to do at the academy, so how would he even run into Kakashi?
And yet, somehow, here he is. There’s nothing in any shinobi training module that covers this. Iruka would know, he’s rewritten the curriculum many times now, and taught it even more.
He’s right outside the academy doors, staring at Kakashi, who’s staring right back at him, with both eyes. There are two ANBU behind Kakashi, but both their uniforms look damaged (singed, Iruka thinks?), and they’re not moving at all. They seem almost scared of Kakashi. Which is silly, because Kakashi might be powerful, but he wouldn’t —
Actually, Iruka isn’t sure. He remembers Tsunade’s warning to steer clear of him unless they’re part of the extended gate team. “Extremely dangerous” had been her words, but Iruka hadn’t paid much attention. Of course he was, all jounin were. But now he can see what she meant.
Sure, Iruka had always known Kakashi wasn’t as laid back as he pretended to be around the village, but he’d never seen this side of him in person. Only in theory, when skimming Kakashi’s mission reports. The few that came to the main mission desk instead of being delivered to the Hokage directly.
Now Kakashi is staring at him - no, Iruka needs a stronger word. Kakashi’s eyes are boring into Iruka, pinning him to the spot, unable to react. He’s not radiating killing intent, but it’s something adjacent. Commandeering is the adjective that pops into his mind. Yes, that fits well. Like a leader in battle.
But they’re in the middle of Konoha, on a sunny day, with no enemies in sight. In fact, the most unsettling thing - besides Kakashi - is that the ANBU are there and visible. Even the kids had been calmer than usual today, and the soft breeze is very pleasant.
There’s simply no reason for the battle-ready posture and intense gaze that Kakashi’s donning. He’s not really using the Sharingan for anything, but it’s still very intimidating. Even if there were a threat around, it sure wouldn’t be Iruka.
One of the ANBU takes a purposefully noisy step forward, clearly not wanting to startle Kakashi. Iruka might not get on the field much, but he still knows how to read ninja.
Kakashi’s reaction starts before ANBU’s foot has even lifted off the ground fully. He spins around, facing the moving ANBU’s direction, with a shurinken materializing on his other hand, facing the second ANBU. Iruka can certainly feel the danger now. Kakashi’s clearly decided that the ANBU are a threat.
“Kakashi-san,” ANBU says, monotone but determined. “Please, come to the hospital with us. We mean no harm. You know that.”
Iruka’s heart is racing as he waits for the inevitable fight to break out. Kakashi’s obviously under a genjutsu of some sort, and his reasoning’s impaired. Nothing he’s doing makes sense. He must have some logic left in there because he’s not actually trying to kill friendly nin, but his mind’s gone far enough to be confused and treat them like threats.
“Leave,” Kakashi says after a tense pause.
“Senpai, I can’t do that,” ANBU says, and his tone is slightly affected now. Not very ANBU-like, Iruka thinks, but doesn’t say anything. Not that he could if he wanted to, his tongue seems stuck to the roof of his mouth.
“Leave,” Kakashi repeats, and this time turns around fully so he’s facing them now, and not Iruka. The small relief this gives Iruka also allows him a chance to observe his uniform a bit more. It’s a little scuffed, but doesn’t look like it’s been torn from battle. Just wrinkly as if Kakashi had been sleeping on a campsite or something, but no obvious signs of damage. It must’ve been a purely mental fight, then. For months…
Poor Kakashi-san, Iruka finds himself thinking. He can’t even imagine what sort of damage that would do to a person. Maybe Kakashi isn’t currently under a genjutsu at all, and this is simply his mind trying to come back to normal.
“If not the hospital,” the second ANBU asks Kakashi. “Can we convince you to go home?” She’s managed to keep her tone more still than the first one, but Iruka can tell she’s reluctant.
“Yes,” Kakashi answers with surprising speed.
The ANBU don’t look relieved though, and neither is Iruka. Too quick a compliant answer. And they’re all proven right quickly enough when Kakashi continues: “With Iruka.”
The first ANBU spreads his arms and looks like he’s about to speak, but the second one beats him to it. “Alone, Kakashi!” she says, losing her cool. “Isn’t it enough you made us chase you around for an hour? We have to play this game now?”
“You could just stop chasing me,” Kakashi offers. His right hand is still tight on his shuriken, and he sounds as dangerous as he is.
“You need Tsunade-sama here in person to listen to her orders?” she asks now, changing tactics. “Not a good look.”
“It wouldn’t matter,” Kakashi says. He very slowly stands up straight, losing his battle pose and covering his Sharingan, but still holding onto the shuriken. “I need to discuss something with Iruka-sensei.” Iruka gets the impression that it’s taking a lot of willpower for Kakashi to try to sound normal. He still doesn’t.
“Bare minimum criteria we have is that you report to the Hokage, and go home. Alone.” The first ANBU is trying to reason with Kakashi still. “We’re not allowed less. You know that, senpai.”
Kakashi seems to consider this, or Iruka assumes that’s what’s going on, because none of them speak for an entire minute.
Iruka spends that minute wondering, again, what the hell is going on, because he can’t imagine at all why Kakashi wants to speak to him. He can’t have been tasked to find out anything about Naruto, because at this point Kakashi is as close to Naruto as Iruka is. What other purpose could he have to target Iruka, even under an enemy genjutsu, if he indeed still is?
“My report,” Kakashi says, very slowly, and starts putting his shuriken away. “Is that Sand has a stray operative. Decided to go rogue, make a name for himself by finding out top classified information from a top-ranking ninja. I was not harmed.” He pauses, tilting his head. “Well, I was poisoned quite heavily. Nothing lethal.”
“The report is for the Hokage, not us, and in person, not in the middle of the village,” the second ANBU says, a little anger creeping into her voice.
“He’s dead,” Kakashi continues as if she hasn’t said anything. “His body’s in the hideout I wrote to her from.”
“We can see you’re still recovering,” the first ANBU says placatingly. “It’s been long enough since the poisoning that I think if you simply go home, we can pass your message to Hokage-sama.”
The second ANBU turns towards him as if she’s displeased. Iruka isn’t sure how they convey emotion at all, but they do, a little bit.
“I’ll be off then,” Kakashi says.
None of them move.
“Alone?” the first ANBU asks, clearly knowing he won’t get the answer he’s hoping for.
Kakashi shakes his head.
The two ANBU look at each other then, and hand signal to each other wordlessly for a little while. Whatever they’re talking about, they don’t want Iruka to know. They mustn’t mind Kakashi knowing it, because even Iruka knows Kakashi’s ex-ANBU, and that he would know their code.
“This is taking too long,” Kakashi sighs, and turns back to Iruka. “Let’s go.”
“Senpai!” the first ANBU yells out. “We don’t even know what you-”
“It’s new,” Kakashi says, not turning back to look at the ANBU. “It’s not either of the truth serums we’ve trained on. It’s… it’s affecting my inhibition. Doesn’t force me to tell the truth. But…”
“Makes you talkative?” For the first time, the second ANBU seems interested and not simply annoyed.
Kakashi shakes his head. Then pauses to think for a moment, looking at the ground. Iruka’s grateful for the break he gets from the stare. “It did, in the beginning, a little. It’s more like being very, very drunk. I think.”
Iruka wonders what he meant by the last statement. He thinks? He’s never been drunk before? That’s hard to believe.
“Are you high, Kakashi?” the second ANBU asks.
Kakashi’s looking at Iruka again, frowning. “No. Enough.” He lunges forward towards Iruka, much faster than Iruka could even hope to react to, and the two ANBU lunge right after him. They’re not fast enough either, and within moments, only leaves remain where they were, and Kakashi and Iruka are in front of what Iruka thinks is his flat, though many of the barracks look similar enough.
Iruka’s back is on the door within a second, and Kakashi’s crowding him against it. His arms are on Iruka’s sides and wow Iruka had not noticed that Kakashi’s more than a couple of inches taller than him. Or maybe it’s that Iruka is cowering a little, while Kakashi’s towering over him threateningly.
Iruka waits for whatever’s going to happen and tightens his core, hoping to offset a move that might unbalance him. It’s all he can do. He can’t fight Kakashi even if he tried. He can only hope to survive the experience.
Kakashi puts his hands on either side of Iruka’s face, and starts looking around Iruka’s face, for lack of a better term. His hair, his cheeks, his neck. It almost looks like he’s looking for a hidden seal or a leaf stuck to his hair, or something. Iruka doesn’t know what he’s searching for, or whether or not he should hope Kakashi finds it.
What’s going on?
Kakashi nods to himself a couple of times. “I’m going to kiss you,” he says, all matter-of-fact. “Do you prefer I do it here, or inside?”
That wasn’t even on the top hundred of guesses Iruka would’ve made for what Kakashi wants. “K-kiss me? Kakashi-san, are you… Shouldn’t you go to the hospital?”
Kakashi shakes his head again. “I’m exerting an exceptional amount of restraint, Iruka-sensei. You should appreciate that.”
Iruka does not. This doesn’t feel controlled or safe at all.
“I don’t understand…” but as his voice trails off, he realizes he kind of does. Finally.
Kakashi has been poisoned repeatedly for weeks, perhaps months. The poison lowers inhibitions, makes him high. What do people under the influence want? Basic needs. Greasy or sugary foods, something to drink, something soft to lean into. Noise, sometimes. Music loud enough to drown out the world. Or the opposite; quiet, dim light, a place to sink and relax into.
Company.
Intoxicated people reach for what feels good. What they’ve been denying themselves when they’re clear-headed enough to pretend they don’t need it.
Kakashi is watching him. No, not just watching. Fixed on him, like he has been since he caught Iruka leaving the academy. With that same unsettling stillness, like he’s already decided something and the rest of the world just hasn’t caught up yet.
Iruka swallows.
Kakashi - stripped of whatever careful distance he usually keeps - Kakashi, poisoned and unguarded, is choosing Iruka. For company.
Iruka forces himself to keep his voice steady. “You’re not just… You’re going after what you want,” he says, more to himself than to Kakashi.
Kakashi’s eye curves up, as he appears to smile beneath his mask.
Fuck, Iruka’s going to kiss Sharingan no Kakashi, isn’t he? This day is decidedly the weirdest day he’s had ever, and he’s had some odd ones.
Kakashi leans down very, very slowly. It doesn’t take long to cover the short distance between them. When their lips touch, it’s another surprise for Iruka. Gentle, soft. Slow. Their lips part a bit, but neither of them deepens the kiss.
Once Iruka had worked out the puzzle of what Kakashi wants, he’d figured it would be much like most drunken one night stands, a little ‘wham bam thank you sensei’, but Kakashi seems content with just kissing. For now, at least.
His surprise must show on his face when they part, because Kakashi raises an eyebrow. “Were you expecting something different, sensei?” Kakashi teases, and Iruka is completely on board with whatever this is, because within this new context, Kakashi’s deep voice is exceptionally hot. Not that Iruka hadn’t noticed before now, in fact Kakashi had featured in plenty of his fantasies, but he hadn’t exactly been thinking of sex when he’d seen Kakashi today.
“I…” Iruka tries to think. Kakashi had asked him something in that velvety voice. What was the question again? Right, what Iruka expected. “You’re drunk,” Iruka says simply. “I didn’t think…”
“Mmm?” Kakashi asks questioningly, and starts rubbing the side of his face against Iruka’s, like a dog nuzzling.
“Drunk people don’t usually, well…”
Kakashi places the ghost of a kiss on Iruka’s neck. This seems a bit more like a drunken sexcapade now.
“I thought you just wanted some physical relief, Kakashi-san,” he makes himself say through his racing heart and shaking voice.
He can feel Kakashi smile against his neck. “Thought I’d kiss harder, sensei?” Kakashi asks, voice gruff and undeniably sexy. “Devour you right against this door? For everyone to see?”
That last sentence takes Iruka out of his horny haze. Kakashi’s right, even what they’re doing now isn’t something either of them would do. Certainly not Kakashi who, Iruka realizes belatedly, has taken off his mask. In public. To kiss Iruka. The ANBU are surely close by, hidden, and seeing his face too. Anybody else could walk by and see. Iruka looks around quickly and - the place is deserted. Either the ANBU have cleared the area, or Kakashi has, somehow.
This is wrong.
“There’s one more thing drunk people usually want,” Iruka forces himself to say, and begs his cock to calm the fuck down. “Sleep?”
Kakashi looks back up at him. Iruka’s prepared for confusion, but there is none. Kakashi simply is looking at him unsurprised, calculating. “You want to go to bed?” Kakashi says with a tiny smirk.
“Right. Bed and sleep.”
Kakashi shakes his head no. “We’re not going to sleep.”
“I really think you should, Kakashi-san. You need rest.” He makes a move as if he’s trying to get out of Kakashi’s grip, but they both know it would be futile.
“We’re not going to sleep,” Kakashi says, and this time his eye is half-lidded and dangerous. He opens the door behind Iruka, and Iruka almost falls. Kakashi’s got him, of course, and obviously meant for Iruka to feel the momentary fear of almost-falling. Trying to distract Iruka. But Iruka’s onto him.
“We’re not having sex, Kakashi-san,” Iruka repeats, breathless, as Kakashi closes the door with his foot, not letting go of Iruka.
“We really are,” Kakashi says, smirking, and makes a show of looking Iruka up and down. “I know you want to.”
“Anybody would react to-” Iruka starts, ready to defend his obvious erection, but Kakashi cuts him off.
“I’ve seen you look at me,” Kakashi says simply, and walks forward, forcing Iruka to walk backwards, towards what Iruka assumes is his bedroom.
Because things weren’t embarrassing enough, Iruka supposes, now he has to also be faced with the fact that Kakashi knows about his crush.
Of course he does, Iruka thinks, morose. He’s Kakashi. He’s too observant and I’ve been too obvious. Damn.
“I’m still-” he starts, but Kakashi cuts him off again, this time with a kiss and gentle push down onto a tatami mat futon. This kiss is less innocent than the one at the door, but it’s still mostly their lips. And Iruka’s moan, much to his shame.
They kiss for a while, and it takes Iruka great effort to pull back enough to talk. “Kakashi, if you want to- to kiss that’s fine but we-” Kakashi growls, keeps kissing him, and starts working on taking Iruka’s uniform off.
It’s flattering, in a way, that despite the obvious reasons (Iruka was an easy way to get sex), Kakashi has chosen him. It’s flattering that Kakashi isn’t just putting Iruka’s hand down his pants or something and getting it over with. But it still can’t happen, and Iruka needs to stop thinking of the positives.
“We’re not-” Kakashi bites a nipple.
“Kakashi-san!” Kakashi licks down his abs while lifting his hips to get his pants off.
“Please,” Iruka says finally, in a desperate, sad-sounding plea. Kakashi looks up at him from where he is - taking off Iruka’s sandals and pushing off his pants the whole way - and actually pauses.
Desperation is what worked I guess. Not the usual way I get jounin to listen…
Kakashi looks at Iruka like a dog waiting for a command, or to see where their owner will throw the ball so they can go chase.
“Kakashi-san,” Iruka says, trying to play up the sadness in his voice to get him to listen. “Please. Don’t.”
Kakashi looks confused for the first time that day. Even in his heavily altered state, he hadn’t looked confused at any point before now, Iruka reflects. The genius of Konoha had probably worked out a thousand potential scenarios before coming to Iruka, and this is the first time he’s been off-script.
“I don’t want to.”
“You don’t… Why not?” His word appear to be considering Iruka’s statement, but his body’s reacting rather differently. He’s now crawled on top of Iruka, and is shuffling out of his own pants.
Iruka thinks he can’t drag this out any longer. He just has to be blunt.
“I’m not going to rape you, Kakashi-san.”
That does stop Kakashi. Fully. His head snaps up immediately, eye wide. Iruka holds firm.
“You’re…not.” Kakashi says with a frown. Then he looks to the side, thinking. “Because I’m poisoned,” he says after a couple of seconds. Thankfully, his genius hasn’t been too hindered, and he’s still making mental leaps fast as ever. “I’m not drunk,” he says, looking back at Iruka. “And even if I were, I want this.”
“You can’t know that,” Iruka sighs.
“Yes, I can,” Kakashi insists. “Just let me…” He kisses Iruka’s neck. And gods, Iruka wants to let him.
But he also wants to be able to live with himself, after.
“You’re not wrong,” he says, closing his eyes and swallowing his pride. “I want to, but not like this. I can’t enjoy it knowing I’m taking advantage of you.”
He’s expecting a rebuttal from Kakashi in either verbal form or perhaps with another nipple bite, but instead he’s suddenly hauled up slightly, and finds himself with his arms pinned onto the wall behind the futon, and a decidedly menacing Kakashi - with his Sharingan eye wide open, no less - staring into his eyes. There’s not even a hint of a smile on Kakashi’s face.
“You think I’m too impaired, Iruka-sensei?” Kakashi growls. “You think you could make me do anything?” He squeezes Iruka’s wrists and pushes them against the wall tighter, purposefully hurting them. “I’d like to see you try.” He grins, lopsided, and even that’s menacing. “I really would, actually.”
Iruka’s speechless. He really doesn’t know how to get out of this.
There is no question in his mind that if they do anything, it will be him taking advantage of Kakashi. He absolutely understands Kakashi’s point - physically, Iruka can’t hold a candle to Kakashi. Couldn’t even if Kakashi had both arms tied behind his back with a jutsu.
But mentally… Mentally Iruka’s the one who’s sober, and Kakashi’s acting on base instinct and desire to get off with the easiest and closest target possible. He’s not thinking beyond the next hour at most. Iruka has to think of the rest of their lives.
Iruka’s grateful when Kakashi covers the Sharingan, and finds his voice. “What would it take to convince you?” He turns the tables. “Tell me, how can I convince you that I want this to stop?”
“You can’t,” Kakashi says quickly. “I know what you want, I know what I want. And thanks to the poison, so do you.”
“The poison’s been in your system for a long while,” Iruka says. Time to change gears again. Kakashi had lost his intense concentration on Iruka when he’d talked about it with the ANBU. “How long has it been since the last dose? What’s the half-life, by your estimation.”
He was hoping Kakashi would stop to think, but Kakashi doesn’t need to. “I have one more day for it to be completely out of my system. It’s been six days, and the last two have been the clearest.”
“You came home early,” Iruka reasons.
Kakashi nods.
“You… didn’t want it out of your system before you got here.”
Kakashi shakes his head, confirming Iruka’s suspicion.
Just like how a drunk person might write a note to their ex, or show up at their door while still drunk, Kakashi had wanted to use the lack of inhibition the poison had given him. Clear-headed enough to wait until the very end, but affected enough to not hold back from coming to Iruka.
“Let’s do it tomorrow, then.”
Kakashi lets Iruka’s wrists go, and lifts himself up a little. He’s still straddling him though, and Iruka still feels as trapped as he is. Kakashi looks down on Iruka with what almost seems like sadness. Regret?
“I don’t know if I can.”
Iruka wonders if Kakashi means he can’t hold back - in which case there’s not much to do, Iruka genuinely can’t fight him off - or if he means that he can’t do this with Iruka when he’s sober.
Looking at Kakashi’s taut pose and controlled words, Iruka’s willing to bet it’s the latter.
“We can have sake,” he offers, pulling his arms back to his sides. The shame of this is, Iruka wishes he could say yes to this. Wishes Kakashi would do exactly this, but in his right mind - come into Iruka’s house like a tornado, hold him close using that famous strength of his, and - how had Kakashi worded it? - devour Iruka. But it hasn’t happened in years, and has no reason to happen tomorrow.
Kakashi shakes his head, but he’s looking at Iruka’s arms, considering. “I can’t get drunk,” he says simply, casually.
Another crypticly short statement. He physically can’t, or he knows better and won’t get intoxicated as a responsible jounin?
Kakashi still hasn’t moved away, nor looked back at Iruka’s face. He’s looking up and down Iruka’s arms as if there’s writing on them to read, waiting with more patience than Iruka’s seen this whole time.
“Do you have to be drunk?” he asks, bravely he thinks.
At that, Kakashi does look up. One side of his mouth quirks up, the beauty mark moving slightly below it, making Iruka want to kiss it. He looks at Iruka for a long, drawn out moment. Iruka can’t breathe.
“Evidence suggests so,” Kakashi says, voice low.
Iruka wants to ask “why”, but can’t bring himself to. He can’t think up a reason that he’d want to hear. Maybe Kakashi only gets horny for him when he’s drunk, maybe Kakashi has to be drunk to think sleeping with ninja below him is acceptable, maybe maybe maybe. None of the options speak highly of either of them. Even if the answer were - impossibly - that Kakashi has a crush too, and gets shy, or something, then maybe reality would shatter that crush away.
“We can do this-” Iruka starts confidently, not realizing his poor phrasing until Kakashi lights up. “I mean, we can do this tomorrow. If… if you think you wouldn’t come here on your own free will…” He averts Kakashi’s gaze, willing his face to stop heating up. “You could sleep here so you’re already, well, here… when you sober up.”
Kakashi blinks slowly. “You’re naive,” he says, and Iruka’s not sure how exactly to take it. He definitely feels insulted though.
“I’m trying to help!” Iruka says with a glare, switching to his ‘this is why jounins listen to me about reports’ voice.
“What if I’d lied?” Kakashi asks, and he’s looking at Iruka with less lust in his eyes now. “What if the poison won’t be gone for another five days, but I make you think it’s worn off in two hours?”
Iruka doesn’t doubt that he could. If not by acting, then with the Sharingan. “I would have tried,” he says gently. “That’s all we ever ask of ninja, at the end of the day. Obedience, and truly doing their best. If you outdid me, well, I wouldn’t be the first to be defeated by the famous Kakashi-san.”
Kakashi smiles sadly. “We ask more than that, Iruka.” Before Iruka can respond though, Kakashi lets out a long sigh. “You’re sure I can’t change your mind?”
“I don’t want to do this. Not tonight, not like this.”
“And you will tomorrow?” Kakashi asks Iruka’s left nipple.
“Yes,” Iruka says without hesitation. “If you’ll have me.”
“Oh, sensei,” Kakashi says, voice deliciously low again. “You have no idea.” Then he gets off of Iruka, and Iruka instinctively sits up in his refound freedom.
“You’ll stay here?” he asks, hoping the answer is yes.
Kakashi looks down at the futon. “Will you let me fuck you?” he asks bluntly.
Iruka splutters, not knowing how to respond to the shift in tone.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, sensei,” Kakashi sighs, and is gone before Iruka even lets out a quick “see you”.