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Yanagi Koharu, in all seventeen years of her life, has always, always, made the wrong impression on the people around her. Almost everyone who knows her, be it family, teachers, or friends, thinks of her as dependable. A stoic rock. The perfect leader. And Koharu, as an actress, has never found it difficult to take on the mantle of this role, and she has long since learned to live as this version of herself.
Even though it couldn't be farther from her true self.
Her calm, quiet demeanour is nothing but a costume, a cover for her – at times – crippling anxiety. It must say something about her acting skills that she manages to successfully fool nearly everyone around her. It shouldn't be a surprise; acting is the one thing she knows she excels at.
She is a brilliant actress, a wonderful dancer, and an outstanding singer.
But even with those strengths, as she finds herself outside the imposing gate to Seishou Academy this morning, her anxiety manages to conquer her heart, and her confidence falters. She is nervous. Incredibly so, even. And that, too, shouldn't be a surprise; Koharu, even as the so-called Ace of Seiran, knows the kind of brilliance her rivals at Seishou are capable of. And out of anyone at the school, she is supposed to fill the shoes of none other than Kagura Hikari; a scary task, considering that girl's talent vastly outshines that of most.
Though, for all of her shine, Hikari doesn't hold a candle to Aijou Karen.
Not in Koharu's eyes, at least. There are surely many who would disagree, who would laugh at the mere idea of either of those two being in any way better than Tendou Maya, or Saijou Claudine, but Koharu would simply have to agree to disagree with them. Karen is amazing, and she had shown her a new side to the stage, one that made Koharu treasure her identity as a stage girl even more so than she had before. And, even more so, Karen had shown her that the friends – and the rivals – she had met on and off the stage are something she should always, warmly, appreciate.
Koharu may be nervous for a multitude of reasons, but the chance to act on Seishou's stage as an outsider is a rare one, and she would loathe to squander it. Anxiety be damned! Acting alongside Aijou Karen and all of the other girls here is a dream come true, and she won't disappoint anyone, and, least of all, herself.
Acting is Koharu's passion. She knows she is good at it. She knows she can impress with it. There is no need to be nervous, not about her brilliance compared to everyone else's. And so, she steels herself, and with a slight furrow to her brow, she marches through the gate.
Aijou Karen will be brilliant, just like she always is.
But Koharu will shine beside her, just as brightly.
…
Despite its reputation and the fact that Seishou is, without a doubt, one of the hardest to get into schools in Japan – the whole world, even – Koharu has never felt that its students were intimidating. The girls seem happy and excitable, always ready to face down the harsh realities of their chosen career with a positivity she thinks is commendable. It's simply... fun to be around them.
Even if Koharu is a tad anxious about being the one to replace Hikari, she is still excited to be here.
And when she enters the studio she had been directed to, and she sees the 99th class bustling about in their tracksuits, the sound of laughter and chatter in the air, Koharu feels the tension that had so tightly gripped her muscles since she woke up this morning fade away.
“I just really think it would be such a good idea. I mean, can you imagine the reaction it would cause? Mariavera and Catalina are more than best friends, we all know this! How can y'all deny that?”
It's Hanayagi Kaoruko's voice that rings above the others', and Koharu spots her by the mirror-lined wall, standing in front of the class B girls she knows to be Masai Kiriko and Amemiya Shion. The two of them look positively exasperated, though Shion much more so, her arms crossed in front of her chest and a scowl on her face.
Kiriko at least manages to not let her annoyance show quite as obviously as she waves her hands in front of her in a feeble attempt to pacify Kaoruko. “There is just no need to add the shadow screen to this scene. It adds flair to the regicide, but we think that hiding you and Tendou-san away from the audience at that pivotal moment would take away from the tragedy. And we also think that a kiss would do much the same.”
“What do ya mean, a kiss would take away from the tragedy? In what universe would it make the scene less sad!?”
“Kaoruko-chan, we know a kiss wouldn't make it less sad, but we still want Mariavera to die in Catalina's arms before she can even touch her. That is what adds to the tragedy – they spent years apart, and when they are finally together again, it ends with Mariavera dying before they can make any amends.”
Kaoruko harrumphs, pulling a face. “But–”
“Hanayagi-san, we are not adding a kiss to this play. It's not going to happen, so stop asking,” Shion snaps, turning abruptly away from Kaoruko. Her eyes are closed, the corners of her lips pulled downward into a frown. “I don't get why you're so insistent on this. And the way you're describing it makes no sense either. Do you want Mariavera and Catalina to kiss or do you just want to use the shadow screen to give the impression of it? There is literally no point in adding a kiss to a play if said kiss isn't shown anyway. How would that be in any way more tragic than showing Mariavera dying in Catalina's arms?”
In typical Kaoruko fashion, she doesn't back down. “Wouldn't that be you who would have to figure out how to make it work?”
“Just drop it,” Shion grumbles, opening her eyes again; it's then that she spots Koharu standing in the doorway. She raises her hand, showing Kaoruko her palm to shut her up when she opens her mouth again. Instead of addressing her further, she chooses to greet Koharu, “Ah, Yanagi-san, thanks for coming.”
At the mention of Koharu's name, the heads of all the girls present snap to the door, and a cacophony of other greetings hit Koharu like a wave. It's not that Koharu isn't used to the attention, but she still feels a little awkward when she bows at the group. “Good morning, everyone.”
And before she knows it, she's suddenly being crushed by a pair of arms, and she hears the voice of Karen so close to her ear, “Koharu-chan! You're here! Hello!”
“H-hello, Aijou-san,” Koharu greets her in return, patting her back even more awkwardly than when she had bowed just a few seconds earlier. Her cheeks feel suspiciously warm. “It is good to see you again.”
Karen pulls back, smiling so brilliantly it takes her breath away. God, what a girl she is; the perfect stage girl, shining so bright even when she isn't acting. “That's a big non-non, Koharu-chan! That's Karen to you. We're friends, aren't we?”
“Oh. Y-yes. Yes, I suppose we are.” Koharu suddenly feels very light-headed. She had idolised Karen for a long time now, and for her to be allowed to be so casual with her? Oh, that seems like so much. Still, she supposes if she is given permission, then it's fine, so she adds, “Karen...san.”
Karen laughs. “You're so silly, Koharu-chan! Heh, but that works too, I guess!”
“Karen, don't tease her like that,” Hoshimi Junna approaches them, slapping Karen on the head with a rolled up script. “Behave like a normal person for once, we don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable because you're acting too buddy-buddy with them, understood?”
“But Jun-Jun! Koharu-chan is our friend, isn't she? I'm sure she doesn't mind!”
“That still doesn't mean you should just go around hugging everyone!”
Junna's intervention saves Koharu, giving her time to calm herself down and stop being flustered. She shakes her head, giving Junna a small, but confident smile. “It's alright, Hoshimi-san. I really do not mind.”
Junna doesn't look convinced, but she sighs and shrugs anyway. “Alright, fine. Still, Karen. Don't forget your manners next time someone you don't see as often comes in, okay? We don't want you to get into trouble or give people the wrong impression of Seishou.”
“Okay!” Karen salutes. “I'll make sure to ask before I hug people next time, I promise!”
“Yanagi-san.”
Koharu drags her eyes from Karen and Junna and sees Tendou Maya and Saijou Claudine approaching her. They both carry themselves with the same confidence she does back home at Seiran; instinctually, she straightens up a little bit more herself, then bows in greeting. “Tendou-san, Saijou-san. Good morning to you two.”
“Bonjour, Koharu. How are you doing? Prepared to practice with this lot of fools?” Claudine wears an amused, but light-hearted, smile on her lips. “Got your lines down yet?”
Koharu nods. “Of course. I made sure to memorise the script before today.”
“Nice. Wanna do some line reading together later? See how your Fiona matches with my Claudia?”
“If there is time, then I would be honoured to, Saijou-san.”
Claudine chuckles, shaking her head. “God, you're just like Tendou Maya. So infuriatingly polite. Karen is right, so don't be too stressed about being all proper. I can handle being called by my given name by you.”
“I am hurt, Saijou-san,” Maya sighs, placing a hand over her heart. “I thought there was only space for one vexing woman in your life.”
“Ugh, shut up, you.” Claudine swats Maya's upper arm. “Don't flatter yourself. There's no-one as annoying as you are, you infuriating woman. Koharu is polite to a fault, but you are just vexing. That's not a compliment, so wipe that grin off your face. Anyway,” she turns back to Koharu, her expression softening immediately, “There should be time. I think today is gonna be a lot of scheduling and then most of the focus will be on the first few scenes the Sun Nation folks have with each other. So, yeah. Should be time for the two of us to practice our own first scene together.”
“Sounds good, then, Claudine-san.”
“Ah, Yanagi-san!” One of the other girls from class B – Koharu doesn't recognise her – rushes up to them. “Would you mind if we could take your measurements for your costume now you're here?”
Koharu smiles at the girl. “Of course. We may as well get that done while we have the chance.”
…
Rehearsals at Seishou are different from those at Seiran; whereas Koharu is trained in all the arts of the stage, here the students specialise in either acting or backstage work, and that specialisation shows itself in how the girls of the two different classes interact with each other and look at the performances shown to them.
On Koharu's right side sits Claudine, who stares intently at her friends while they pretend to frolic in the grand capital city of the Sun Nation – especially so at Maya, of course – and mutters her approvals or criticisms about their acting. On her left, however, is the girl who had taken her measurements; she mumbles to herself about the costumes and how they could be altered and customised for each of the characters on stage to shine brighter – all that without anyone even wearing anything but their tracksuits. And behind her, two other girls are quietly discussing how stage lighting should be implemented to emphasise the differences between both of the nations and the people who live within them.
These topics do get spoken about at length at Seiran as well, of course – for hours, even – but with such a wide range of skills, Koharu can admit without shame that there are some things she knows less about than others. Acting isn't one of them, though, and when Maya enters the stage and the rest of the Sun Nation soldiers react to her appearance, she leans towards Claudine, and points at Futaba. “Isurugi-san really brings out Royce's admiration for Mariavera, don't you think?”
“Futaba?” Claudine drags her eyes from the pedestal Maya stands on, all proud, and squints. “Yeah. She's doing a good job here. Heh. Really feels like she actually has a puppy crush on Tendou Maya, doesn't it?” She puffs out her chest. “It's going to be fun working with her in this play. Our two characters both hold Mariavera in great regard, albeit in completely different ways.”
Koharu smiles, full of mirth. “I am certain you will do just fine portraying Claudia's very special obsession with Mariavera.”
Claudine glares at her. “Now what's that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing at all,” Koharu says with a shake of her head. “I dearly respect yours and Tendou-san's acting skills. That is all.”
“Good save.”
The two of them go back to concentrating on the others, and Koharu finds herself taken by just how genuine all of their joy feels; it's only the first day of rehearsals, and even though the 99th class has performed this play in the past before, Koharu is still impressed at how well they can act at this stage; it's yet another piece of evidence of the incomparable talent found at Seishou.
But even though every single one of them shines, Koharu finds her gaze drawn most to Aijou Karen, and the way she performs the cheerful, positive Ayla Santorum. The characters they both play are so different to each other, yet at the same time, there is that instant connection between them. Ayla is what Fiona needs to find out what she wants in life – it fits Koharu well, because Karen did much the same for her by changing her whole outlook on their shared future career.
(And perhaps in a much more significant way, a way that Koharu has never even considered before.)
Taking over from Kagura Hikari won't be an easy feat, but Koharu will do her best to give Karen a partner to depend on, a counter to her role that will make her heart sing in the same way Koharu's own does right now, watching her.
They will sing together, dance together, and they will dream of the world together.
Just like Ayla and Fiona do.
…
The days go on.
Juggling both her education and a play – one that takes place on the other side of Tokyo, no less – is a difficult task, but it's one Koharu puts her whole heart into. With each passing day, she finds her feet in both her role and amongst the students of Seishou. And with every scene, she grows closer to Aijou Karen.
“Ah! W-wait! W-wait, please!” Karen wails, throwing her hands up in the air; her script rustles as she moves it, and Koharu notes – with an amused hint of a smile – that she adds more words to the lines she is supposed to be saying. “I s-surrender! Y-you won! I lost!”
Koharu takes it in stride; there is still plenty of time for Karen to learn her lines properly. Her face contorts in perfect, faux, shock. “Surrender?”
“Y-yes! Surrender! Surrender!” If Karen had access to a white flag, Koharu is certain she would've waved it around, even just during a line reading practice session like this one. Instead of that, she pretends to put something on the floor in front of Koharu. “S-see? I'll put my sword right here.”
“And you call yourself a knight?” Koharu barks, rising to her full height. “How could you drop your sword and refuse to fight?”
Karen deflates. “B-but I don't like getting hurt...”
“Just amazing,” Koharu scoffs, shaking her head. “Are all of the Sun Nation soldiers like that?”
“T-that's not... U-um...” Karen opens her mouth. Then she squints. Then she grins, goofy. “Oops. Sorry, Koharu-chan, I kinda lost my lines there. Teehee.”
The fake tension drops from Koharu's shoulders and she smiles. “That's quite alright. Good work, Karen-san.”
Karen blows her bangs out of her face, tossing her script onto the desk next to her. “It wasn't though. Bleh. I can't get my lines right. I'm sorry, Koharu-chan.”
“That is quite alright as well. We still have plenty of time. You do not seem to struggle with the other scenes you have been rehearsing yet. I am sure you'll get this one down, too.”
“Hmmm, I don't know about that.”
Karen walks up to the window, looking down at the fountain and the statue of Venus in front of the building. Koharu joins her, and they watch the moving forms of Maya and Claudine down there – the two of them are practising as well, it seems, pretending to have a fight.
“I wish I could be more like those two,” Karen says with a sigh. “They can do anything! Apart from that scene they're not in each other's character's focus. But they still do so well! In every scene! Compared to that I just feel... lost. I just... I don't know how to do this without... without her.”
“Oh.” Koharu furrows her brows, frowning. “You mean Kagura-san?”
Karen nods.
“I'm sorry she can't be here, and you have to make do with... well... me.”
“Wha– Koharu-chan, no, no!” Karen whips around, wide-eyed and shaking her head back and forth. “That's–! That's a big non-non! That's not what I meant. I am not sad you're here! Yes, of course I would love for Hikari-chan to be at my side, but that doesn't mean I don't want you here, either! It's just... ever since she left, I've struggled a little bit. And I'm still coming to terms with it all. This play was one of the first we put on together, and I feel like I'm so out of my depth now, without Hikari-chan helping me.”
Koharu turns to where Maya and Claudine are now standing in front of each other, Claudine with her hands on her hips, Maya in a pose of haughty confidence; the two of them must be discussing the results of their practice, and Koharu knows that it's each other that lights a fire inside them, driving them on. Kagura Hikari was much the same to Karen; it's no surprise her loss would hit her so.
“I will help you instead.”
“Huh?”
With a dramatic flair Koharu doesn't even realise she is using, she places a hand above her heart. “I know I cannot hope to replace Kagura-san in your life, but I will still try my hardest to help you. I will support you through every step of this play's journey, and I will be at your side for its entirety.”
Karen blinks, mouth falling open.
“I promise,” Koharu swears, her face one of utter sincerity.
And Karen, unexpectedly, bursts into laughter.
It's Koharu's turn to mumble a confused, “Huh?”
“Koharu-chan, I-I don't need you to replace Hikari-chan,” Karen explains between giggles. “I miss her. But that doesn't mean I want you to be her.” She looks at Koharu, eyes a little wet, and takes her hands in her own. “I want you to be you. I want you to be Koharu. I'm so happy you are here. You. Koharu. Missing Hikari-chan doesn't take away from that. Not even a little bit. So, please continue being you, Koharu! Anything else would be a big non-non. Okay?”
Koharu nods, speechless. She doesn't see the brilliant smile Karen gifts her. All she can focus on are the hands touching her own, soft and warm.
…
Koharu had never been part of a play that so prominently featured a shadow screen. She had seen them utilised plenty of times, of course – they are a staple of theatre, after all – but they mostly played a part in the background set design thus far. To see one used in a scene as important as the regicide is an eye opening experience; it enhances the whole thing so, so much.
Today is the first time they rehearsed with it in play, and Kaoruko nails it.
Koharu only knows the heir to the Senka-ryu as a snarky, arrogant girl with a flair for the dramatic and a less than polite habit of mocking those around her. Seeing her act paints a completely different picture of her – especially in as serious a role as that of Catalina Leopardo. Kaoruko doesn't let her personality show, instead putting on the mantle of the serious, tragic general destined for nothing more than her own doom. Behind the shadow screen, Kaoruko moves with the purpose of a real warrior, and she wields her weapon with practised ease. When her naginata pierces the shadow of the king, the room explodes into cheers and applause.
Next to Koharu, Claudine whistles in appreciation. “That looks so good.”
“Fuck yeah,” Futaba agrees, nodding. Koharu notices how proud she looks. “Kaoruko is doin' great.”
“Which is not a surprise,” adds Maya, looking as regal and in control as usual, but with a spark in her eyes. “Hanayagi-san has improved much since we last performed this play. It would have been a great disappointment – to her in particular, I would assume – if she could not have surpassed her past self today.”
Claudine snorts. “God, Tendou Maya, could you speak like a normal person just once in your life?”
“Pardon?”
“Ugh. You know what I mean.” Claudine makes a small, flippant circular motion with her hand, “Just say that she did well like everyone else does. You know, like 'Hanayagi-san did wonderful', and leave it at that. No need for the weird dig at her skill there.”
Maya gives her a puzzled look. “Saijou-san, it it not our goal to improve? We are still in full time education. Learning is quite literally the reason we are here. I do not think that pointing out that Hanayagi-san has succeeded in that is the wrong thing to do.”
Claudine squares her shoulders, ready to go on the offence, when a bored, yet haughty, drawl interrupts her, “Kuro-han, I do so appreciate you playing the role of my white knight, but please refrain from doing so while flirting with Tendou-han.”
In an instant, Claudine's attention is drawn to Kaoruko, and she rounds on her with a snarl, “I am not flirting with Tendou Maya! I am telling her off because she's pissing me off! Don't flatter yourself; protecting you in the process is nothing but an unfortunate side effect.”
“Sure. Everyone knows you would never flirt with Tendou-han.” The sarcasm is dripping off Kaoruko's tongue like honey. “Well, I suppose you can at least take solace in the fact that I do believe that you would never stand up for me.”
“Oh, come off it, Kaoruko,” Claudine huffs, folding her arms in front of her chest. “I have been nice, and I do mean it. I'm not some mean bully and you're not my frail victim.”
Before Kaoruko can open her mouth for another retort, Futaba exhales a loud, drawn-out groan. “Enough, Kaoruko. Don't ruin your chances of gettin' some genuine praise from Kuroko and Tendou by bein' a little shit.”
“Hmph! And why should I care much for the praise of those two?”
“Uh, because they are the two heads of our class?”
“A silly little title, given to them by silly little teachers with silly little standards.”
Koharu watches on, not quite sure what to say – and when she catches Maya's eye and sees her shaking her head, a small smile playing on the edges of her lips, she knows that it wouldn't do much to do so, anyway.
“You are so annoying,” Claudine spits, arms crossed in front of her chest. “But suit yourself. If you don't want my praise, then I'll keep it to myself.”
Kaoruko gives her a sickeningly sweet smile. “That is fine by me, Kuro-han. And now, shush, all of you. I have something important to say. Surely you must have all seen how grand this scene is, yes?”
“It is marvellous,” says Maya, nodding approvingly. “The shadow screen is a wonderful addition to the drama of the regicide. I am glad Amemiya-san agreed to having it implemented in such a fitting way.”
“Yes, yes.” Kaoruko agrees, and when she looks from one of them to the next, they can all see the mischievous glint in her eyes. “And that is exactly why I think we should use it in another scene.”
Futaba groans, throwing her head back in exasperation. “Not this again.”
“Yes this again,” Kaoruko sing-songs. “You all must see how much more exciting Mariavera's death would be if we utilised this wonderful piece of stage equipment at the right time. Just consider it: the screen coming down as Catalina cradles her most beloved, casting them both into shadow. And then, just before the light goes off, she dips her head, closer, and closer, until their lips–”
“Oh, for fuck's sake. Shut up, Kaoruko,” Claudine snaps, squaring her shoulders as she sends her a withering, furious glare. “We've been over this. There's not going to be a damn stage kiss. You're not going to bother Shion and Kiriko about this again.”
Kaoruko pouts. “And why should we not add it? It's a good idea. An excellent one, actually! It would enhance this play! It would make it better!”
“Seriously, Kaoruko, shut up,” Futaba grumbles, hands on her waist. “Kuroko's right. You're not gonna bug the others about this any more. You've been annoyin' enough already. Cut it out.”
“Hah! But if it's you kissing other girls on stage it's okay?”
“Wha–? What the hell are you talkin' about? I didn't kiss anyone on stage.”
“Do not lie, Futaba-han. You got to kiss Minase-han during Siegfeld's performance of A Wartime of Farewells. A kiss in the shadows! A kiss of love, and loss, and tragedy! I believe it would only be fair if I got to do the same with Tendou-han. Hmph!”
“I haven't kissed Minase! I never did! Why does everyone claim I did? It just looked that way!” Futaba looks at Koharu, a desperate plea in her eye. “C'mon, Minase must've confirmed that to you, right? I never kissed anyone! I just bent down and pressed my head against her shoulder when the lights went out!”
Koharu nods, intent on coming to Futaba's rescue. “That is co–”
“I don't want to hear about this bullshit any more,” Claudine interrupts in a growl. “Seriously, Kaoruko. Drop it. Don't bring it up again! You're not getting your stage kiss! Your Catalina won't kiss Mariavera!”
“Oh my, Saijou-san, are you perhaps jealous?”
And instead of easing the tension, Maya steps in to make things worse. Claudine spins around, her cheeks and the tips of her ears turning a vibrant red. “H-how dare you? I'm not– I'm not jealous! Why would I be? Who would ever be jealous of anyone getting to k-kiss you?!”
Koharu looks from one pair to the other, unsure what to do. The volume of their voices is rising, and the other girls in the room are starting to stare and whisper. “I think we should all calm down...?”
No-one pays her any attention, and Koharu both looks and feels awkward with her hands, palms-up, raised in front of her in a placating motion. The temptation of slinking away to leave the four of them to themselves is about to overcome her, when Karen rushes into the scene, howling like an overly excited puppy as she storms past them all and behind the shadow screen.
“Woo! Look upon me!” Karen shouts, and the argument dies mid-sentence as everyone turns to where Karen's shadow dances behind the screen. She contorts her body into odd poses, then straightens up and raises her hands. They swirl and wiggle, before she suddenly squats down and then claps them together. For a few seconds, she stays like that. Then, her hands connected, she turns her hands' shadow into a bird that flaps its wings as she raises back to her feet. “Behold! A bird!”
The studio falls into complete silence. Everyone watches Karen, not having quite picked up on what's happened yet.
“And now!” Karen continues, spinning on the spot. Once she is back in position, one of her hands shoots out, forming a muzzle, a pricked ear. “Awoo! It's a wolf! Or perhaps a dog? Could even be a giraffe if you squint!”
As she hops back and forth, she woofs and howls, and laughter fills the room. She very much makes a fool out of herself, but it does its job – the tension drains from the air, and instead of continuing to fight, Claudine huffs and storms over to the shadow screen. “Oh, let me show you how that's done, Karen,” she declares, slipping behind as well to create the shadow of a rabbit with two hands. “This is shadow play.”
“Oooh,” Karen squeals, her shadow leaning forward to inspect Claudine's hands. “Heh. I can't really tell what that's supposed to be, Kuro-chan. I'm on the wrong side of the screen.”
“Ugh. It's a rabbit.” Claudine wiggles her fingers at the very top. “These are the ears, see? And these are the front paws!”
Karen's shadow nods, full of enthusiasm, trying to copy whatever it is that Claudine is doing to make a rabbit of her own. And Koharu watches, wishing that she had any clue about shadow puppets to join the two of them as something more than just an audience. The thought of asking them to teach her is one she quickly wrestles down, though she doesn't realise that the reason she does that is that she feels too shy to expose herself like that to the sheer, unabashed charm that is Aijou Karen's.
But watching is fine, too, because Karen looks so lovely behind that screen, so cheerful and full of energy. Even as nothing but a shadow, everything she does feels so alive, so... so... Koharu can't think of the right words to describe her, and so she stops trying. One thing that is certain, however, is that Karen is not only the perfect actress, but also the perfect friend. She is a beacon of hope, capable of making people happy with little effort; the fact that even Kaoruko smiles right now is evidence to this fact.
And... as Koharu continues to watch, she finds her gaze drawn to the curve of Karen's jaw, the slope of her neck, the shape of her lips. She's so, so pretty. Perhaps Kaoruko is right: perhaps a stage kiss between two shadows like this would be a wonderful addition to their performance. But Koharu also thinks that it would be a shame to have such a romantic thing during a scene full of loss and death. It would be a shame if it was between Catalina and Mariavera, between Kaoruko and Maya.
Unbidden, the image of her and Karen – of Fiona and Ayla – kissing in the shadows comes to her, and she almost chokes on her own spit, coughing as all the blood rushes to her head.
“You alright, Yanagi?” Futaba asks, slapping her on her back. “Need a drink?”
“A-ah, n-no, no,” Koharu fights to clear her throat and her mind, “I am quite alright. Thank you, Isurugi-san.”
It takes more effort to rid herself of that image than it should. There is no need for a kiss between their characters. It adds nothing to the play – their character's budding friendship is more than enough, and any added romance would take away from the impact of Mariavera's and Catalina's relationship. No, no. There is no need for it.
...But Koharu can't help but wish for it, anyway.
…
And with every passing day, Koharu feels her heart grow fonder. In every rehearsal, she realises just how wrong she was about Karen's brilliance. She had thought her bright, but acting beside her like this, in a role that is so important to Karen, makes her see the truth more than she ever could before: Karen doesn't just shine like the glittering stars in the sky, but rather, like the sun.
Bright and warming, a ray of both joy and hope, so full of enthusiasm about not just her own, but everyone's life on the stage.
And with every passing day, they both find their footing, their bond as partners, and Karen manages to overcome much of her previous apprehension about not acting beside Hikari; gone are the lines that are not quite right, nor the movements tinged with an odd awkwardness.
“Ah, w-wait!” Karen wails, thrusting both of her hands up in one dramatic motion, her face scrunched up in desperation. It stays like that for but a second; as soon as she meets Koharu's gaze, the corners of her lips turn up into as friendly a smile as she – or rather, Ayla – can muster. “I surrender! I lose!”
Koharu meets her skill head-on, pulling up her brows in confusion and shock. “Surrender?”
Koharu gasps as she watches Karen slink up to her, bending down just enough to slip her wooden sword – class B is not ready to trust them with the real props just yet – from her grasp onto the floor in front of Koharu's feet instead. “I'll put my sword down here!”
“And you call yourself a knight?!” Koharu barks, her face turning from confusion into a furious rage, just like the script demands from her. “How could you drop your sword and refuse to fight?”
It's a scene they had rehearsed dozens of times before. Every repetition serves to teach them, making the next one better than the one that came before. And as their heated exchange continues, Koharu realises that pride fills her heart with every line Karen speaks to her. It's such a difference to that very first time, when Karen could barely remember the simplest of lines.
It saddened Koharu to see – she knew that it was her being there instead of Hikari that had dragged Karen down – but to see her find her confidence at last is such an overpowering experience. Karen misses Hikari, but it isn't Hikari who helps Karen grow right now. It's Koharu. There is something in that realisation that makes Koharu's insides tie themselves into a knot.
Karen became a stage girl because of Kagura Hikari. Koharu knows that fact all too well. It would be impossible not to – anyone even remotely close to Karen will be subject to the tale of her destined performance of Starlight with her beloved childhood friend. It had been something that once confused Koharu; why become a stage girl for someone else? To be a star is to be selfish, it's to strive higher, be better, than those around you.
“If you didn't want to fight, then why did you become a knight?”
The line drops from Koharu's lips, her face still stern, perhaps even a little judgemental. And Karen meets her with a grin as sunny as a summer afternoon,
“I became a knight because I wanted to join the expedition corps and journey to a faraway nation!”
She shines so brightly.
“My dream is to go to different countries, talk to all kinds of people, and travel the world!”
So, so brightly.
It takes Koharu's breath away.
“Hey, have you ever seen an aurora?”
And so suddenly, Karen, who had been skipping across the studio to belt out her lines to their small audience of co-stars surrounding them, is back in front of her, her eyes sparkling with such joy it feels like it cannot possibly be just an act, and a smile so brilliant it's blinding.
Perhaps it shouldn't have come as a surprise that it's then that Koharu, for all her skill and stoic confidence, falters for the very first time herself, almost forgetting a most simple line herself. “A-an aurora?”
“Yeah!” Karen beams back at her, either oblivious to her blunder or – and this is much more likely with her, really – not letting it show to help Koharu get back into the groove of things without having to break off the scene. It doesn't matter what the answer is though, because either way it does exactly what Koharu needs, and she quickly gets herself back into the action.
Though her mind is abuzz with such warm, fuzzy feelings.
And as Karen begins to sing her lines about adventure and hope and wonder, and Koharu joins her in their shared duet, Koharu finds her thoughts dragged back to a few days ago, to when she had focused so intently on the outline of Karen's shadow, the lovely shape of her jaw, her lips, and she realises that she loves not only Karen's brilliance, but all of her.
…
“Ko. Ha. Ru.” Suzu flops onto her – Koharu's – bed, resting her chin in her palms and kicking her legs out behind her. With her lanky height and tomboyish demeanour, the pose seems wholly out of character for her. “Are you listening? Hey? Koharu? Ko. Ha. Ruuuu?”
Koharu glares up at her from her script. “What.”
“Fantasy Sweet Land. Saturday. You, me, and Hisame.”
Suzu beams at her. Koharu looks back down on her script. “No.”
“Ough?! But why? You're gonna be free again then! We can have fun again! And Fantasy Sweet Land is the place to have fun at.”
“Says who?” Hisame asks from her spot on the floor next to the bed. She casually flips over the page of her magazine, not looking up from it.
“Um. Everyone?”
“I think it's just you. And the other five-year-olds that go.”
Suzu scrambles to sit on her knees, then bends down to wrap her arms around Hisame's neck. She ignores Hisame's appalled outcry of protest. “Fantasy Sweet Land is not just for little kids! Everyone loves it! You loved if when we went last year!”
“I-it's different when it's everyone! And you already said you asked Akira and she asked you not to contact you again! If it's just us, then I would rather stay home and study for out upcoming exams!”
“B-but! But! We need to celebrate Koharu's performance!”
“And you think Fantasy Sweet Land is the only way we can do that?” Hisame asks, prying Suzu's arms from around her neck. “We could just go have a meal. Or do something thematic and take Koharu to see a play.”
Suzu pouts, sitting back down on the bed and folding her arms in front of her chest. “Fantasy Sweet Land would be the best place to go, though.” Then, she mumbles, not quite low enough for the other two not to hear, “I'll just ask Mahiru to go with me. She would never reject me.”
Koharu sighs, putting down her script. “Mahiru-san won't come with you, either.”
“Wuoh?! Why would Mahiru not go with me? I'll have you know that she very much enjoyed it when I took her there for our first date last month!”
“She will not come because she will be busy on Saturday.” Koharu explains, matter-of-fact. “And that applies to me as well.”
Suzu stares. Hisame rolls her eyes. “Don't be stupid, Suzu. Koharu doesn't have a date with Mahiru. But they're going to be out with the other girls from Seishou to have a little celebration of their own to conclude the work on their play. Isn't that right, Koharu?”
Koharu nods. “Yes. I have been invited to join them.”
“Eeeh?” Suzu continues to stare. Her eyes narrow sceptically. “But you hate these kinds of outings, Koharu.”
“Suzu,” Hisame snaps her magazine shut. “Perhaps Koharu just likes them? Have you considered that? It's not like she's never been out before. I mean, she was at Fantasy Sweet Land with us last year, too.”
“Yes, but that was with us too. That's different!”
“It really isn't.”
“It is!”
“No, it's not."
“I apologise for not being there,” Koharu says, bowing her head at Suzu. “It will be a very small outing, and I don't wish on missing out on it. I promised everyone I would be there, and Karen seems particularly excited about the prospect.”
It should've been an innocent statement to make. Both Suzu and Hisame know how much Koharu looks up to Karen. And yet, Koharu managed to let slip too much, and her two best friends hone in on her weakness like sharks that smelled blood in the water.
“Oh?” Hisame tilts her head to the side, a little smirk on her lips. “'Karen'? Since when have you dropped the honorific for her?”
Koharu feels the blood rushing to her cheeks. “I must have forgotten.”
“Forgotten?” Suzu bursts into laughter. “You would never forget to add honorifics, Koharu!”
“I have been very busy juggling both my education and rehearsals. I am very much capable of forgetting such a thing.” Koharu knows it is very much not like her to forget the politeness that is expected of her, no matter how stressful life may get. Unfortunately, she is rather flustered. “It is but a small mistake. There is no reason to scrutinise it like this.”
“Oooh?” Hisame says again. “Actually, I think we should scrutinise this.” She shuffles a little closer to Koharu, a mischievous spark in her eye. “You've been talking about rehearsals a few times tonight. And you haven't forgotten honorifics for anyone else. But when you tell us about a little outing with the others, you just so happen to forget it for Aijou-san. And not to ignore the fact that you forget to do so while also telling us you must not disappoint her. Suzu, doesn't that remind you of something?”
Suzu giggles. “Yep! You. You did the same thing just after you secretly started seeing Yukking.”
It's rare that Hisame allows Suzu to use her like this, but she can't quite resist rolling her eyes and puffing up her cheeks. Instead of chastising Suzu, though, she continues focusing on Koharu. “Koharu... are you, perhaps...?”
Now Koharu's cheeks are properly burning, and she realises, with a start, that she is blushing a deep crimson. “A-am I, what, perhaps?”
Suzu leaps to her feet, crossing the space between the bed and the desk in one long stride to nudge her elbow into Koharu's side. “You've got a crush!”
“I-I do not!”
“You don't?” Hisame asks, shuffling ever closer, until she can tap Koharu on the knee. “Well. So I guess you wouldn't mind if someone else asked her out? I mean, it's Aijou-san. She's rather popular, I hear.”
“I-I...!” Koharu, so unlike herself, stammers. She tries to picture it: Karen, arm hooked around someone else's elbow. She suddenly feels quite sick to the stomach. “W-well. Perhaps...”
“Perhaps...?”
Koharu closes her eyes and exhales a long breath. “...Perhaps I would mind.”
“Hah! You've got a crush! Our Koharu has a crush!” Suzu cheers, smacking her palm against Koharu's back. “Since when?”
“I don't know.”
“What did it?”
“I don't know.”
“Aw, come on, Koharu, you can say it,” Suzu grins down at her, and although she started out teasing her, her face is gentle and genuine. “There's nothing to be shy about when it's with us!”
Koharu finds herself blushing again. “It just... happened. And it's... everything?”
“Oh dear,” Hisame giggles. “You've got it bad, huh?”
Koharu doesn't say anything to that. Her mind is swimming. She's admitted it. She's admitted it to someone. It feels so much more real now.
“Congrats! Good choice.”
Hisame nods in agreement. “Yes. Aijou-san is a kind soul. She suits you.”
Koharu can't quite stay silent at that; she makes a little noise of embarrassment.
“Now you just gotta go for it!” Suzu announces, straightening up to her full height with both of her hands on her waist. “Ask her out on a date! Just out with it! 'Will you go to Fantasy Sweet Land with me?!' And that's that! The ultimate key to any girl's heart.”
“Absolutely not!” Hisame immediately protests, getting to her feet and playfully smacking Suzu on the back of her head. “A proper first date should be at a restaurant!”
“That's so boring, though!”
Hisame gasps, putting a hand over her heart. “Boring? In what universe is a romantic meal at a restaurant boring?”
They continue to bicker, but Koharu can barely hear them.
Now you just gotta go for it! Ask her out on a date!
Her, asking Karen out on a date? Her, taking Karen's hand in her own? Her, asking Karen if it's okay to kiss her?
Oh. Oh dear. Oh dear. Koharu feels faint.
How could she ever do something like that?
…
“You're so in love.”
Koharu's head whips up to where Claudine is smirking down at her. In full costume, Seishou's second seat looks as intimidating as her role is supposed to be; Claudia Schwarzwolf is fierce and bold, and Koharu doesn't quite like that Claudine is mirroring that attitude right now.
“What are you talking about, Claudine-san?” She asks, as nonchalantly as she can; her voice is steady, but she can't look Claudine in the eye. “I don't understand where this is coming from.”
Claudine chuckles. “Oh, don't give me that. It's obvious. You've been staring, you know?”
“I have?” Koharu's head shoots up again, with an uncharacteristic panic in her eyes. “I'm certain I haven't.”
“Trust me. You have.”
Koharu grimaces. “Was it that obvious?”
“A little,” Claudine grins, shrugging. “But don't worry. I don't think Karen herself noticed. And I don't think anyone could blame you for catching feelings, either. She's cute. Most people think so, and she's outdone that cuteness in her role this time. Somehow.”
Koharu pretends to fix up her own costume, thrown off by Claudine. She doesn't really need that right now; it's not long until it's time for their performance. But now that the cat is out of the bag...
“Do you think...?”
Claudine cocks a brow. “Do I think what? That she likes you back?”
Awkwardly, Koharu nods.
“Hmm,” Claudine hums, tapping her chin. “I'll be honest, but I have no clue. Karen is smarter than people give her credit for. She's a lot touchier than most and sometimes it's a bit hard to figure out who she likes romantically and who she likes platonically. But!” She gives Koharu a meaningful look. “It never hurts to ask.”
Koharu blinks. “Ask?”
Claudine huffs, rolling her eyes. “Yes, Koharu, ask. As in, ask her out.”
“I couldn't–”
“And why couldn't you?”
“I– Because–”
“Because why?”
Koharu stares, searching for a reason why she couldn't. She can't find any that don't boil down to her being afraid of being rejected.
And Claudine knows it. “Look, I get that it's scary. Been there, done that. But, trust me, it's worth it if it turns out. And, well... even though it might not seem like it, it's worth knowing it's never going to get anywhere as well. Gives you a chance to move on, you know?”
It takes Koharu a while to respond; she fastens the belts and straps of her costume, puts on her gloves, and then looks at Claudine, who's leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching her. “...Did you struggle, too?”
The question catches her off-guard. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“When you realised you liked Tendou-san.”
Claudine's cheeks turn a furious red. “W-who said anything about me l-liking Tendou Maya!?” It's Koharu's turn to raise a sceptical brow, and Claudine puffs up her cheeks. “O-okay. Fine! Yes. I like her. And yes, I struggled with it. And no, I didn't chicken out. I asked her out. And it went well.”
“Oh. Congratulations.”
Claudine rolls her eyes again. “Thanks. But this isn't about me and Maya. This is about you and Karen. And I'm telling you, I think you should tell her that you like her. You two would make a cute couple.”
“Hm.” Koharu can't imagine herself next to Karen; she's so stiff and quiet, compared to her, a walking ray of sunshine. Wouldn't they look silly next to each other? “I don't know...”
“Koharu,” Claudine says, her voice soft. “Really. Go for it. If you don't, someone else might. Trust me, you don't want that to happen without at least trying. And Karen is the ideal person to ask out. I mean, even if she doesn't like you that way, she would be so gentle, and she would make you feel better even when it came to a rejection. And... I don't know, but I think you got a pretty good chance. I'm not sure if it's romantic, but I know she likes you. She talks about you a lot.”
“She... she does?”
“Yep.”
“Oh.”
Claudine snorts. “Oh, you definitely need to go for it. You're so cute. I'm sure Karen won't be able to resist if you're like this. The great Yanagi Koharu, turned into a mushy gay mess. Don't give me that look. It's true, isn't it? It's fine, you'll get used to the teasing. When I first came out to my friends you should've seen the way Kaoruko treated me.”
The idea of sharing classes with Hanayagi Kaoruko, who is very much gay herself, but also very much a menace, makes Koharu shudder involuntarily. “I can imagine how that must've been.”
“It was awful. But to be perfectly honest, Kaoruko is awful most days. And I say that in the most loving way. And now stop deflecting, Koharu. Go for it. Tell her that you like her. Ask her out.” Claudine looks determined, then makes a vague gesture with her hand. “Just saying, but I can speak from experience that after-parties are pretty damn perfect for that kinda stuff. Everyone's happy, and you'll feel braver with all that adrenaline from the performance still pumping through you.”
Koharu chews the inside of her cheek, saying nothing.
Claudine rolls her eyes yet again. “You're cute, but you're also annoying. Always so quiet. Anyway, just think about how cute Karen is, how lovely she sings, and how Ayla is so much like the real her. And now imagine you get to hold her hand and smooch her. Sounds nice, doesn't it?”
Koharu makes a gay, flustered noise, but before she can voice any protests, the two of them are interrupted by a series of frantic knocks on the door to the changing room, and the familiar voice of Koharu's younger sister, Sakura, full of desperation, “Sis!? Sis!? Are you in there?”
Koharu sighs. “Yes.”
“Is Aijou-san in there, too?”
Koharu nearly chokes on her spit, and Claudine snickers at the sight. “W-why should she be?”
A beat of silence. Then, “Well. She has to be somewhere. And she's not in any of the other changing rooms. Nor is she anywhere else as far as I can see, but she's needed! Masai-san is looking for her, and we have hardly any time left before we need to get going!” Sakura wails in distress, “Oh, I gotta find her, or I'm sure Amemiya-san is going to kill me.”
The sound of her steps rushing away soon fades, and both Koharu and Claudine glance at each other; Claudine shrugs. “We better get going, see what's up exactly, yeah?”
When the two of them emerge from the changing room and make their way backstage, no-one seems to share the desperation Sakura carried with her. But that doesn't mean nothing is up. Though what is up is nothing new: at centre stage, arms crossed and a perfect pout on her lips, stands Kaoruko, clad in full costume.
“And I am telling you, I still think we should do it!” She demands, stomping her foot. “We have like an hour left, and it's just a tiny change. All we need to do is make sure that Tendou-han and I are a bit further in the back, so the shadow screen can obscure us just before Mariavera dies.”
In front of her, Amemiya Shion heaves an exasperated sigh. “How often do we have to tell you that we will not add a damn kiss to this play?”
“But you know it's the right–”
“No, it's not the right thing to do. It wasn't you who wrote the script for this play. It was me. If you dare to go against my wishes, I swear to God you will never get a speaking role in any of my plays again, Hanayagi-san.”
Kaoruko gasps, putting a hand on her chest. “Are you threatening me, Amemiya-han?”
Shion doesn't back down. “Yes.”
“Shocking,” Kaoruko huffs, and her pout grows. “Simply shocking. I'll have you know that I am the heir to the Senka-ryu! I will not allow anyone to threaten me.”
“I know and I don't care,” Shion says, squaring her shoulders. “All you're expected to do here is what's in the script, and I won't accept anything less, or anything more.”
And Kaoruko, stubborn as always, straightens herself up to her full height, ready to go on the offensive.
“Should we stop them before a proper fight breaks out?” Koharu whispers.
Claudine shakes her head. “Nah. Kaoruko's going to get what she deserves. She's going to back down eventually, even if it means getting told off by Sakuragi-sensei. That always gets her back in line. Just wa–”
“Catalina Leopardo!”
The bark of Futaba's voice makes everyone present flinch; their surprise is followed by confusion, but their questioning murmurs are soon interrupted by Futaba shouldering her way through the crowd and onto the stage herself. The bright white of her Sun Nation uniform shines in the light, and she brandishes her halberd, pointing it at Kaoruko as if in challenge.
Kaoruko blinks. “F-Futaba-han? What are you–”
“Futaba? There is no Futaba here,” Futaba declares, confusing everyone even more. That is, until she clarifies, and they all understand what's happening here: “I am Royce! Royce Klein! And I have been looking for you, Catalina Leopardo!”
Kaoruko pouts, then frowns, and then changes her expression into haughty superiority. “Oh? And what, pray tell, does a Sun Nation knight want from me, the leader of the great Black Lion's army?”
“I wish to give you the whole world!”
“The whole world?”
“Yes, Catalina, the whole world. And more!” Futaba leans down, dropping her halberd on the floor. “I am not here as your enemy, but as a secret admirer – I, Royce Klein, have always looked to you from afar. You are a formidable leader, a deadly fighter, and the most beautiful soul in all of the Black Lion Nation, perhaps even the whole planet. And I have realised that I have lost my heart to you.”
Kaoruko blinks, losing grip on her character. “You... What?”
“I love you!” Futaba confesses, one hand on her heart, the other outreached towards Kaoruko. “I have always loved you, and I couldn't bear to not be by your side any more! I had to come, to see you, to hear your voice, and to tell you about the feelings in my heart.”
The scene makes no sense whatsoever, but it pulls on Koharu's heartstrings; she watches, enthralled, as Futaba approaches Kaoruko, gripping her by the shoulders, and then pull her into a deep, passionate kiss. She knows she is blushing, and she can't help but imagine doing the same to Karen, so bold, so brave.
“Told you Kaoruko's gonna get what she deserves,” Claudine chuckles, shaking her head. “I hoped it would be a good telling off from Sakuragi-sensei, but this works, too.”
The girls backstage holler and cheer, and when Futaba pulls back and then ruffles Kaoruko's hair, they laugh. “Happy now?”
Kaoruko huffs, her cheeks a deep red, “Maybe.”
“You know, if you want to kiss your girlfriend in front of people, you could just ask,” Futaba gruffs. “No need to make such a fuss about it. It's not like I don't kiss you enough already, but I don't mind doin' it more often.”
“W-well! It just felt fair to have a kiss on stage, after you got to kiss Minase-han during–”
Futaba plants her palm over Kaoruko's mouth, successfully shushing her. “I told ya, I didn't kiss nobody. I wouldn't lie about that stuff. It just looked that way.” Then, she blushes, turns away and rubs the back of her neck. “I only kiss you, and I'm pretty happy that way.”
“Oh...” Kaoruko watches her for a few seconds, then clutches her shoulders. “Oh, Futaba-han, you're so dedicated. Such a good girl. Thank you.”
“Ugh...” Futaba grumbles, tilting her head as far away as possible from her girlfriend. “Sure, whatever you say, babe. Will you behave yourself now? No more demands for stage kisses?”
“Only if you give me more at the party tonight.”
“As if I planned anything else...”
Shion sighs, then turns her attention to the rest of the girls. “Okay, now that's finally sorted, I need to talk to Aijou-san. Has anyone seen her?” The only reply she gets are shakes of heads and mumbled noes. She sighs again, raising a hand to her face to pinch the bridge of her nose. “Cool. First this nonsense, and now a missing actress. Someone please get Aijou-san here. We have barely an hour before the curtain rises and not even half an hour before the audience is let in.”
Claudine pats Koharu on the shoulder. “Time to shine, hero.”
“Excuse me?”
“Time to shine,” Claudine repeats, with more force behind her words. “Someone needs a knight in shining armour, and I think that should be you. So go and shine. Be Karen's hero.”
Koharu stares at her.
Be Karen's hero.
Oh. Oh.
Koharu nods before she knows it, and when she turns around, Claudine gives her a playful shove forward. She weaves past groups of students, finding the next door and then rushes down the corridor. She checks every room, every hallway, looking for Karen in every corner.
And the answer is so easy.
It's a small room, far from the bustle of the performance preparations. It's a room in which her and Karen have often found themselves in these last few weeks, for it's quiet and private; the perfect place to practise in peace.
And the perfect place to have a pre-perfomance breakdown.
Koharu can hear the sound of soft sobbing even before she enters the room; worry washes over her, and she stands in front of the door, her hand hovering over the handle as she wrestles with herself over whether or not to barge in. Would Karen want her around right now? It's clear she found a place where she can be by herself for a reason. But their play will begin shortly, and she is needed. But most of all, would it really be okay to just leave her here, knowing she is upset and perhaps in need of a friend?
That last question's answer comes to her easily, and she gently knocks on the door. “Karen-san? May I come in?”
There are a few moments of silence only interrupted by the muffled sounds of sniffling; then, a mumbled reply: “Y-yeah.”
Koharu finds Karen sat at a table, her face tear-streaked and wet, and her phone in hand. On the screen, a tiny Hikari dances and sings. Koharu recognises both the song and her costume immediately; it's a video of the 99th class first performance of A Wartime Of Farewells during their second year.
“Sorry,” Karen sniffles, wiping her face. “I-I got a bit overwhelmed a-and needed some space.”
“You don't need to apologise,” Koharu ensures her, sitting down on the chair next to her. “Do you miss her?”
Karen looks down at the screen. “So much. It's hard to do things that I always had her at my side for.”
“I'm sorry.”
“You don't need to apologise either,” Karen says, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. “I shouldn't be so upset, but... it's hard. It's the first time I'm performing in a play I've previously done with Hikari-chan, and I just... I was so dependent on her, for so many years of my life. Even before she came back to Tokyo for that one precious year. And now I know she's gone for good. Her home isn't here any more. It's London, and I know she's going to shine her brightest there. It's just... it's tough to accept, and this whole play kind of just... drills it in for real. Our Starlight is over, and we both have to move on, along our separate paths.”
“Just because you're no longer together doesn't mean you lose each other, though,” says Koharu, carefully. When Karen looks up at her with puffy, glistening eyes, she shrugs. “You are friends, and your friendship will stay strong, no matter the distance, if you both want it to. And even if you can't be there for each other physically, you can still support each other in other ways. I'm sure, right this moment, Kagura-san is rooting for you, even if she is on the other side of the world. You do the same for her whenever she has a performance, don't you?”
Karen looks at her, lips wobbling. “Yeah. Yeah, I do. Every time.”
And just to prove Koharu's point, fate aligns: Karen's phone vibrates in her hands, and a notification pops up, with a message from Hikari.
Good luck.
Karen stares at it, speechless. Koharu smiles. “See? She may not be here, but she is always with you in spirit.”
“J-jeez,” Karen stammers, putting her phone down and then using both hands to rub at her face. “I'm so silly. All this crying, and for what? Because I thought Hikari-chan is going to forget about me. I'm so, so stupid. She never forgot about me before, so why should she do it now?”
Koharu chuckles. “Exactly. And when you do need a shoulder to cry on – someone who's really here, at your side – then you have so many friends, and... well...” She blushes. “I'm also there for you. Always. Even if I'm a bit useless at it.”
Karen laughs, and it sounds a little bubbly and so, so pretty. “Silly Koharu-chan! You're better at it than you think. You helped cheer me up, didn't you? Thank you.”
Koharu almost wants to protest, but then she sees Karen's smile, her tear- and make-up-smeared face, and she finds that she can't. “You're welcome. I think we should get you to one of the changing rooms; your make-up is all messed up.”
“Oh no,” Karen wails, looking down at her hands; traces of mascara and eyeshadow are all over them. “Oh, Shion-chan is going to kill me.”
“Only if we don't get this fixed up. And fast. She is looking for you.”
Karen looks at her with big, wet, pleading eyes. “Koharu-chan you have to save me. I would never hear the end of it if I showed up like this.”
Koharu's heart skips a beat.
Be Karen's hero.
“Of course,” she promises, standing up and offering Karen her hand. “I'll fix it all up for you, don't worry.”
When Karen grasps her hand into her own, it's warm, and soft, and it means everything to Koharu.
Kagura Hikari was a rock in Karen's life, but now she is gone, far, far away, and they both agreed to move on apart from each other. But that didn't mean that Karen didn't need the support from other people, from her family, her friends. From someone who means more.
And Koharu wonders, perhaps she can be that someone. That someone who is always there for her, who is the new rock in her life. Her knight in shining armour.
Be Karen's hero.
…
“Cheers!”
The clinking of glasses and the cheering of the entire 99th class (plus Koharu) marks the end of a successful performance, and the start of a lavish after-party. Their play had been a resounding success, and there was nary a soul left in Seishou's theatre without tears in their eyes by the end of it – including everyone in the backstage area. Kaoruko's and Maya's performances were outstanding and emotional, and so was everyone else's.
It's a play to remember. A night to remember.
Koharu will hold the memories of these last few weeks dear, and she will cherish the friends she has made and the experience she has gained. And, most of all, she will remember every moment she got to spent with Aijou Karen, who she lost her heart to. And how could she not? Claudine is right: Karen is cute, and she is nice. A bundle of joy, so lovable.
It's not what Koharu has come to love most about her, though. It's that there is so much more to Karen than meets the eye; it reminds Koharu of herself. They both hide their flaws behind outer appearances – Karen in the form of a bubbly happiness, Koharu with apparent stoic determination.
But Koharu got to see past Karen's mask. She got to see her at her lowest, and she got to experience the trust Karen must feel towards her, because she willingly exposed that vulnerability, and not just once. And Koharu got to help her and cheer her up.
Koharu got to be Karen's hero.
And Karen's thankful smile was so worth it. Koharu wants to see it again, and again, and again. She hopes she'll get to, far into the future.
Luck, it seems, is on her side, because she gets to see Karen's smile not five minutes later. She doesn't expect it, but when she feels a tap on her shoulder and she turns around, she is greeted by Karen's face, a mega-watt smile proudly displayed on it.
“Koharu-chan! There you are! I've been looking for you.” Karen downs the glass of orange juice she carries, then gestures for Koharu to do the same with her own. “Finish that. I need you to come with me. There's something suuuuper important I have to show you.”
Koharu tilts her head to the side. “I can't have my drink with me there?”
“Silly Koharu-chan! No. Drink up! You don't want to be carrying something around with you. That would be a big non-non.”
Koharu chuckles. “Understood.”
As soon as her glass is empty, her brain short-circuits because Karen grabs her hand and tugs insistently to get her moving. They pass an abundance of other students, catching snippets of conversations here and there, and Karen ignores them all. Her hand is so warm, her skin so soft. Koharu can barely hear anything, not even when they pass by Junna, who is loudly reprimanding Futaba and Kaoruko for making out; the two of them don't seem to hear her, so blissfully lost are they in each other.
It doesn't take long until the bustle of the party fades away behind them and they're cast into the shadows of the night. There are few lights on Seishou's campus, and Koharu is overcome with the feeling that the two of them are alone. All alone, without rehearsals and line-readings as a purpose. It's just them, just Karen and Koharu, under the stars.
Or at least, that's what they both think, until Karen comes to a sudden stop just a little ways away from the gazebo her and her friends had chosen as their preferred hang-out spot.
“Oh, whoops. I guess I wasn't the only one thinking of this place,” Karen giggles, squeezing Koharu's hand and glancing at her with an amused sparkle in her eye. Then, she looks back to the table, and Koharu follows her gaze and flushes red.
Oh, they're definitely not wanted here, for Maya and Claudine had claimed that spot for themselves, and they're intent on putting Futaba's and Kaoruko's kissing to shame.
Koharu is rooted to the spot, and it takes some pulling on Karen's part to get her going again. They duck behind a hedge, and whereas Koharu is still flustered, Karen can hardly hold her laughter in. She whispers, “Better not have Kuro-chan catch us, or we might not survive the night. Come on, follow me. There's another spot we can go to.”
“A-are you not bothered by this?” Koharu asks, her voice much more high-pitched than it should be; her head is full of scandalous images of her doing with Karen what those two are doing, and she feels rather light-headed.
“Why should I be?” Karen laughs, shaking her head. “Those two are sooo in love. And I think,” she lowers her voice as they creep forward, and pricks her ears to listen, “Tendou-san has a score to settle.”
They must be close now; on the other side of the hedge, they can hear the other two whisper to each other, with Maya's deep voice rumbling in the air. “I am so glad things went well. I did not fancy for Hanayagi-san to get her wishes.”
Claudine scoffs. “Oh? And why's that, Tendou Maya? Wouldn't it have been me who would've been forced to watch you get all close and intimate with Kaoruko, and not the other way around?”
“Would it have made you jealous, ma Claudine?” Maya purrs, her voice dropping into an even lower register. “I must admit it would have made me seethe.”
“Really, now? Where is your professionalism, Maya? We're actresses. A stage kiss or two is part of our job description.”
Maya laughs, “Maybe so, but can you imagine how much Hanayagi-san would have gloated over this? It would not have been a big deal with anyone else, I am certain. But she can be, ah... a little much, when given the chance.”
“And all that just to make Futaba jealous, too. Stupid girl. And you're stupid too, Maya. You know you have no reason to be jealous. A stage kiss isn't the same as this, is it? A stage kiss doesn't let you taste anyone, right? A stage kiss doesn't make you feel all,” the sound of a kiss, “hot,” and another, “and bothered, hm?”
Koharu makes a flustered, choked sound in the back of her throat. “I think it's time for us to go.”
“Oh man, yeah,” Karen giggles, dragging Koharu onwards. “Better get out of here before they get into trouble with Sakuragi-sensei. Trust me, we really don't want to be there for that, and they're definitely gonna get caught. Sakuragi-sensei has her eyes on them all the time since they started dating.”
Koharu can absolutely see that. Maya and Claudine have always been way too much, and that's even worse when they're together. The idea that they get into trouble for being too touchy with each other is not far-fetched at all, and Koharu believes it without doubt. Being as far away as possible for when they get caught sounds like the smart choice, so she follows Karen dutifully, until they find a cosy corner by a large, rustling tree.
“Wait,” Karen commands, letting go of Koharu's hand to scout out the area. Her face is full of concentration, her lips pursed and her brows furrowed, as she whips her head from one side to the other. Then, she checks behind the tree and inside a cluster of bushes. Finding nothing, she turns back to Koharu and gives her a thumbs-up and a wink. “All clear!”
Koharu blinks. “All... clear?”
“Yes! We're alone. Just like planned. No audience, no couples smooching in secret somewhere close-by. Good, good! The perfect place.”
It explains nothing. Koharu blinks again, slower this time. “The perfect... place? For what?”
“The perfect place for this!” Karen declares, her stance wide and her chest puffed out. “The perfect place to talk to you.” There is a bench under the tree which Karen plops herself onto. She pats the space next to her. “Sit, please.”
Koharu feels lost, but decides to go along with the flow anyway. Karen trusts her, and so she wants to trust Karen, too. “What did you wish to talk to me about?”
Karen grips the edge of the bench, scuffing her shoe in the dirt. “I wanted to... thank you. For everything you've done these last few weeks. And especially the thing you did before the performance today. Thank you for finding me and getting me to calm down. I don't know if I could've done it without you.”
Koharu blushes. “I hardly did anything.”
“Nonsense! You were there for me, weren't you? You found me and then you helped me. I know it must've felt unfair to fill Hikari-chan's shoes when I'm still so messed up because she left. I'm sorry about doing that to you.”
“It's okay. I didn't mind taking over from her. I'm sorry I couldn't be her and you had to make do with me, though.”
Karen laughs. “We've already been over this, haven't we, Koharu-chan? I didn't want you to replace Hikari-chan. I never wanted that. That hasn't changed. And... I think I'm actually really happy it was you here, instead of her.” Koharu can't be sure if it's just the darkness making her skin look like that, but she thinks Karen is blushing, too. “I had a lot of fun. And, well... You made it fun, you know? I really liked hanging out with you and getting to know you better. I don't mean that just as two actresses sharing a stage together, either.”
“I feel the same,” Koharu blurts out. “I enjoy being around you, Karen-san. Your joy is like a balm on a stressful day, and I very much enjoy sharing a laugh with you.”
“That's good! That's... yeah, that's good.” Karen leans back against the bench, looking up into the canopy. “Because I kinda want to share more laughs with you in the future. Like, many more. And not just on stage.” Her head drops to the side, and she smiles the most brilliant smile Koharu has ever been on the receiving end of, leaving her breathless. “I kinda... I kinda like you, Koharu. A lot.”
Koharu's mouth falls open. “...O-oh.”
Karen laughs. “Yeah. Oh. That's what I thought when I realised, too. You know, I always thought I liked Hikari-chan and Mahiru-chan. But it turns out that that was different. Those two are my best friends, and I never want to lose them. But... I dunno... looking at Futaba-chan and Kaoruko-chan, and then at Kuro-chan and Tendou-san? I... I kinda realised that I don't want that with those two, but... I would like to maybe have that with you.”
Koharu's mind is abuzz. She doesn't look like it from the outside, but on the inside, there is nothing but a long, drawn-out scream of bubbly happiness and relief. Karen likes her! Oh, what luck!
“I...” Koharu starts, turning her body so she faces Karen, and watches Karen do the same towards her. “Karen-sa– No.” She shakes her head, steeling her nerves. “Karen. I have also come to like you. In the same way. I quite like the idea of sharing more laughter with you, no matter the reason we are brought together.”
Karen smiles like the sun. “You like me, too? You do?”
“I do.”
“Oh. Oh, wow,” Karen suddenly seems to deflate. “I didn't know this would work out. But it did. Wow. You like me. Koharu-chan likes me.”
Koharu can't help it; she laughs. “Claudine-san kept telling me that you are cute, and I knew of course, but seeing you like this I just... Ah, my heart.”
“And you are cute, too!” Karen grins. “Koharu-chan. Koharu-chan, hey.” She shuffles closer, face red, but determined. “Koharu-chan. I like you. You like me. Can we? Can we?”
Koharu's cheeks readily mirror Karen's blush. She is so close. “Can we... what? Do you mean... Can we... k-kiss?”
Karen nods, full of enthusiasm.
Anyway, just think about how cute Karen is, how lovely she sings, and how Ayla is so much like the real her. And now imagine you get to hold her hand and smooch her. Sounds nice, doesn't it?
Claudine's words echo on her mind, and, oh, it all sounds so nice. A few hours earlier, it sounded so impossible, so difficult. But now? Now... it's in Koharu's grasp. And it's not impossible, nor difficult, to link their hands together, to make a lattice with their fingers. It's not impossible, nor difficult, to lean in, so slowly, so carefully, to watch Karen's eyes flutter shut.
Koharu's heart pounds inside her chest, and she wonders if Karen's beats in tandem with hers; she wonders if Karen's also skips a beat when their lips meet, and she wonders if Karen also feels her stomach flop when they both press closer, to feel more, and more, and more.
She finds the answers to all of those questions when they both pull back again, their faces even more flushed than before, and their eyes so full of warmth and fondness. And when Karen surges forward again, giving them both the more, and more, and more, they're both yearning for, Koharu knows that she has found another home.